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iamtheunicornprincess · 7 years

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Aight, folks. I think we can all agree on one thing: Audio gear is expensive. Unless you find it at a yard sale, sold by someone confusing a heavy duty multi-voiced monster for a kid’s toy (but hey, even a snot-covered Fisher Price xylophone from a Savers can be sampled into something beautiful), the chances of you finding a deal is going to be rare. If you are a sound person, then stories of such rarity buys will be over-told for decades to come; your audio friends will loudly resent you with a smile and ask you retell said legend again, and again. Usually, though, you’ll save up and look forward to the weekend you can finally spend together with your new, shiny, synth companion.

Lately, I find myself longing so badly for my own space. I want a home. I grew up in a family of eight with five siblings, and while my childhood reeked of copious amounts of people related to me going in my room while I was out and touching my shit, and blurting pieces of my diary over the dinner table, and picking up the other end of a landline to eavesdrop, living with roommates is different. I’ve had some INCREDIBLE roommates, and would continue to live with them if I didn’t have to leave Boston/they hadn’t moved. But, I dunno. Although I foresee a future of travels and while I’m a more “go with the wind” type of person, there is something really, really calming about not having all my shit stuffed into a 10′x10′ bedroom in the most boring section of Brooklyn (though I did have a package stolen from me yesterday [and I not-so-secretly hope said salt lamp that s/he stole falls on their foot]). My dream is to someday own a house, once the terrors of student loans have surpassed, and I want a backyard. But, most of all, I want a STUDIO. And today, I am going to leave a list of my dream gear that I currently do not own that I would love to have in my said future studio (NOTE: Many of you have probably seen pictures of me using some of these items. I am lucky enough to have worked in two recording facilities that housed them and, like a good studio person should do, I utilized them to the point where parting ways from some of them still makes me sad. However, they were not mine).

DREAM GEAR

Arturia Minibrute

Some people might kind of wonder why the Minibrute is here: It’s not super expensive for an analog synth (you could probably find it under $300 at this point). But you know what? I don't own it right now, because I had access to it for quite a while before I moved. You’ll hear a great deal of it on my upcoming record, so over the past year or so, I’ve been nonstop mixing tracks I created with it. Even though I *could* buy it right now, I am so frugal with my finances when it comes to buying anything for myself. But, anyway - the Minibrute is great. I love the Microbrute, as well, but the Minibrute has a special place in my heart because of the dirty, gritty noise channel you can add to the mix, along with a sub and three other oscillators. Pretty sweet, especially since it has MIDI, CV, and a straight 1/4″ output. Can’t go wrong. I just love the sound... Anything gritty will have my heart.

OTO Biscuit

I kind of need to just get one of these because of how rare they are. This is the best distortion/bitcrusher I’ve ever used. I love running vocals with it, I love how easily out of control-sensitive it is, and I will love lo-fi for life.

Roland Juno 106

Because, duh. This baybee is a classic. It has six voices. Despite it being fairly easy to track down, I’m well aware that the most common issue with this synth is voices dying (but you gotta remember that you’ll most likely purchase one that’s never had a voice replaced since, like, ever, and it’s from 1984). However, it’s EXPENSIVE to replace voices, and Roland does not create them anymore (it would be wishful thinking for them to, but as they don’t produce the 106s anymore...). BUT, there is someone who created a more functional voice IC replacement (check out Analogue Renaissance for more info on voice replacements. Just be wary that he will charge you for asking questions that have already be answered on his site, so read carefully). I’ve promised myself that I wouldn’t get a dog ‘till I have the time for one (duh?) AND money for any unexpected vet visits, so I’ll do the same for the Juno 106 (unless purchased with replacement voices).

ARP Odyssey 1978 MK III

VINTAGE. NOT THE REMAKE. NOT THE APP. NOT THE MINI OR FULL SIZE FROM KORG. NOT THE EBAY SELLER PRETENDING IT’S A VINTAGE WHEN IT’S A KORG. I SEE YOU. IT NEEDS TO BE THE VINTAGE MK III FROM 1978. Okay, let me explain: This synth holds a huge place in my heart. During the hardest parts of my life in late 2015 to mid 2016, I couldn’t sleep normal hours, or create. My anxiety was out of control and I had literally three full on attacks a day and I didn’t want anybody to know. So, even though I couldn’t do much to fix any of those issues at the time, I needed to do something. So, I would force myself to pour over the manual for this synth every time I felt a panic attack creeping up, and would press random keys and hit record. The old sound of it would distract me. I don’t know. I just associate this synth with comfort. Every time I was sad, I would have this synth in front of me. I’d leave my apartment at odd hours of the night to go sit with it and hope something good would be recorded out of it. So, yeah - when I buy this synth, it needs to be vintage. It’s just sentimental and if I could buy the same synth I used, I would. And, yes, I love how it gets out of tune. A whole track on Living Proof is totally in tune with the Odyssey, but out of tune with... everything else. You’ll see.

ARP 2600

Again - the original, not the TTSH clone. The first time I ever saw this synth, it did not fascinate me -- I was 19, and I was terrified. It was 2009, and I was enrolled in Michael Brigida’s class at Berklee College of Music (he was my modular synthesis & signal flow professor and he’s worked on every ARP machine ever and was one of the best teachers I have ever had). Back then, the synth was held in A59 in 150 Massachusetts Ave. The room had no windows and reeked of mildew, and on the first day of class, myself and my classmates trekked down the hall from our classroom and watched Michael calmly create different patches. I was the shortest in the class, and I was the only girl, and I was painfully shy. I wore a black fitted hoodie with spikes almost every day and I was fucking weird. Everyone in the class just seemed to understand what was going on and I just stood there, hardly able to see anything (because, well, I’m just shy of 5′3′’). Listening in awe, I felt like a total idiot. I had no idea what this modularapolis kajargen was and I was too afraid to ask for help. I clearly remember Brigida telling us to ‘not fear the synth!’ and to ‘make it fear you!', but everyone in the class just seemed at ease and I was, well, not! Fast forward four years -- I got a lot more experience in the game audio and synth hardware world, and I was hired by the department, and the more I worked there, the more I saw that, sure, some people DID just have a knack for that kind of stuff right off the bat, but a lot of times, people wore a concrete-made poker face. I had already been employed by AKAI at that point and had gotten over my insecurities a little bit. And it was ME that everyone was now asking for help, since, you know, that was my job (those days, I worked 80+ hours a week between there and AKAI). I felt a little less alienated that I was not the only person in fear of getting my ego hurt around the 2600, and I used this time to really learn it so I could help others understand it. Anyway, I’d go into work on days the facility was closed, and own it so I was more prepared to teach students it when class started back up. This synth taught me a lot about getting past insecurities, and guess what - I’m not so afraid of that synth anymore! Ha!

Yamaha CS15

This synth is so underrated and so cool. Made in 1979 for a few years onwards, it just sounds like how you think it would. Good luck finding one online that isn’t from Japan and doesn’t require a power converter. And if you find one and are feeling generous, my birthday is June 1st.

THE KLEE

Okay. I used modular eurorack systems quite a bit when I still lived in Boston. I do not own a system right now. However, The Klee. Is. A. Monster. I was immediately drawn to it because 1. it’s a sequencer and, um, I love sequencers and 2. it has green LEDs and buttons. I unapologetically love the color scheme of that thing, and it sounds fucking awesome. However, it will take up almost your entire rack case. Google it (sorry not sorry). You can build it from scratch for a little over $500 or buy it complete for a little less than $1,000.

Avalon 737sp

Coolest preamp & compressor ever. I always “got” EQs, but compressors used to confuse the crap out of me. Ratios? Math!? I wanna do MUSIC (...till you realize a music technologist is more mathematically inclined than you’d be willing to admit, ha!). However, the Avalon really helped me understand what was happening to sound while changing up parameters manually, as opposed to staring at a stock plugin in Pro Tools and visually trying to hear results, if that makes sense. I just understand tech better when hands on. Anyway, one of my favorite producers of all time, Mark Ronson, has used them in recordings and the second I learned that, bam. Look at me! I can make myself burp AND I can use compressors with my eyes closed!

Empirical Labs Distressor

Mostly because every studio I’ve worked in has them next to each other and I like the comparison. And it sounds good. I still prefer the 737 but I love this thang, too.

Moog Sub 37

SOUNDS GOOD. MY MAIN HOBBY INCLUDES GOING INTO SAM ASH AND WAITING FOR GOSPEL GROUPS TO FINISH THEIR SYNTH JAM SESH SO I CAN GO INTO THE ISOLATION ROOM AND ROCK OUT ON THIS MOOG.

Electro-Voice RE20

Just like the ‘wand chooses the wizard’ (and yes, I heard Ollivander’s voice when I wrote that), everyone will usually resonate to at least one mic that makes their non-traditional voice sound... okay. Heck, maybe it’ll even sound good! I really adore this microphone. I haven’t bought it because I have spent time in facilities over the past 4 years that have owned it everywhere I’ve went, but someday, it shall be mine. It’s mainly used in broadcasting, but, I dunno. I use it when recording my own voice singing because I just like how it makes it sound. I also like that Thom Yorke used it in a show once. Very coolio. Google ‘Radiohead RE20′ and I’m sure that basement show will pop up.

DSI Tempest

Um, coolest drum machine I’ve ever used. That thing is a beast. I love the weird sounds you can make, the sequences you can create, and I’m happy that DSI finally created a couple updates for it. Hell yizzzzzeah.

Crumar Bit-01

This synth came to my attention the other day and ohhhhhh my god, it sounds good. It’s so awesome. I played three seconds of a demo video and I said ‘gimme’.

Otari MTR12

Very cool tape machine I started to mess with at one of the studios I support. It looks like an oven. Everything just sounds better with tape.

And that is all I can think of, for now. May you all have a synth filled week.

Cheers!

x The Unicorn Princess

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inthewordsofahalfgoddes · 7 years

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Free Writing

I feel sick. On friday i came home dizzy feeling like I was dead walking and passed out sleeping for most of the night into the day. I woke up sunday feeling a lot better but as i tried to eat my body was not having it. Even now I can’t stomach too much but apples and even then that is pushing it. i feel like at any second i will puke but It’s a faint sensation. I had two dreams that had me startled and put a slight cloud on my day until i forced the thoughts away. The first was strange and happened about 2 days ago. i was in an apartment listening to a friend of mine talk about his life. I was trying my best to fight trying to have sex with him and failing. even going so far as to entering the bathroom with him. ugh. i was pretty upset at myself in my dream cause I watched myself do it but in my head I was like ‘why are you doing this. don’t do it’. so anyway I have a pair of headphones on connected to like a walkkie talkie and I hear my ex’s voice on the other end. he’s talking about old money business and i click the talk end and ask him to repeat it. He is shocked and he says ‘your voice is too much right now’ and I apologize and ask him to repeat it. he starts to cry and i can hear the emotion and I look up feeling his pain. It was strange because I didn’t really care too much about the situation. I feel like I already moved on from him a long time ago and I didn’t regret my decision at all but haring the pain and emotion in his voice was too much. the dream ends and its a shallow dream so i know im near to akinng up. I carried that with me for the majority of the morning and it bothered me because i feel like i am being punnihsed for how the relationship went. I dragged it on for longer then it needed to be. wayyy longer and I still look back now and regret it but I’m learning to move past it and not dwell too much on it. I eventually was brave enough to face being alone and potentially being unloved so there is that. The other dream happened today. jesus had a weir dtanget and left a silly conversation we were having. i think he really just wanted to step away from me and i was actually pretty okay with it. I feel when we talk too much it puts a strain on our friendship. i wanna-say relationship but...I don’t like that. Inn my head im much more happy seeing it as a friendship because that means its safe. i almost don’t give myself any reason to be jealous about others and i can give him my love in friendship and that is much more better for me. but some things he said got to me. He was talking about how dull and boring my life would be without him and at first i just joked about it but now I’m startting to see his point. Would i have been exposed to music without him? not as intense bth.My obsession with music and desire to persue it in some shape or form was inspiredby him and who he pointed out to me. I covet his songs so much. They are like staples for me and i dunno im actually listening to one of his songs now (let ‘em know by bryson tiller). So now that he has done his typical thing pretending to be upset and leaving “for couple of days” I have time to think. Its also venus retrograde whihc is like time to revisit and reassess how I see love, how i want to be loved and how I love others. also how my relationships look like and if there is a need for change. This is a simplistic view but its my understanding of it. So I know his venus is in Leo. which lmao is very fitting. hmm sometimes i wonder if I need to slow down with my thoughts of him. I am fascinated by him, pused by him, fired up by him, irritated, annoyed, and some feelings that i cant or wont name. So where does that leave me? Sometimes in my head i’ll call him allan and that makes me pause. Am i waiting for a saviour again? if i am i need to step back and realize that that only ends in pain and dissapointed hope. My last relationship i leanre da lot but it was under duress. it was painful and like forced me out of my caccoon under his hand and i felt so constrained as i tried to heal. it was too much for me and he never did understand me. Now that i’m just feeling jesus out I now see i see him as a saviour and i’m torn bewteen seeing him as one and being okay with it. is it so bad to have friends as liferafts? but at the smame time i dont think he should be treated like one :/ idk its weird though things have been feeling so surreal to me. watching my hands type and literally giving form to my words is unsettling to me. I feel like something is happening to me and i’m scared that its something bad. i don’t rmember being so sick before. in 3 years i only ever experieneced slight sniffles and here i am full blown sick and shit. i’m worried for myself and my body.I ask for michael’s healing and proetction. I am in a strange place and I wonder what will become of all of this. I feel so out of place. maybe its the books i have been reading too. When i read i somtimes carry bits of it into my life. i wake up in this world slightly disjointed and off. I finished reading parable of the talents and that left me shook. i have oto write a book review for that but ive been avoiding it for some reason? anyway I’m a lil way halfway trough lilith’s brood and I find the book fascinating and also scary in a way. i’m not scraed perse about the alients. or maybe i am idk. I’m more scared of the future where women and children will be vulnerable. why is it that males resourt to being bullies again once oscieties are gone? why sare they the most dnagerous? i mean even now they still are and its wrapped up in laws, decorms etc but in a dystopian futuere? terrifying. I couldnt be like Olomina and dress like a man because I am too fullfigured and womenly to pass. i am worried for myself. I just want to be free....i dunno what is going on with me? I ffeel like im drifting in and out of reality and things feel dreamy. I had a thought about my empathy and pisces power and like...maybe all my empathy is for books? thats when i feel so misty and out of it after reading ike my mind really led me away. im happy im reading again at least. it unsettles me that i am becoming a women. I am entranced with myself seeing the curves, my skin and body seeing how beautiful it is but also seeing how dangerous it is to me and my life. How many times will people punish me for how i look? men mostly. and i dont mind suing what power i apparently have over them but its like i know it will be used aaginst me soon. i never feel wrong for knowing that my body is beautiful. I know it is and i know i am beautiful and a creature many may want to touch and have. I am growing into it and i feel like a flower that is maturing before peoples eyes and im afraid. i know fear is bad so let me say mor elike it unsetles me. but with chnage comes growth and i feel like because of my freeizing myself as i unthaw and turn into who i was supposed to be i am going to blossom very quick. its also weird too because as I say i want this this and this in my body over time i gain that. i was so e skinny and i wished to be thicker and now here i am getting thicker and i know if i atemore id be even thikcer and yet my stomach has not changedd and actually has remained smaller then it as before? i am also finally looking pretty. i felt like such an ugly child and now i wonder if its not that im being graced with it now but that i am seeing it in myself. i know i have eyes that can trap people. I actually look away to make them feel comfortable because if i stare too long at eople they either get caught up in my face (men especially) or they paue for a second.. idk. i feel like im changing t into something that ahs power that i am not comfortble handling;. or am i just being dramatic? the voice in my head is soft and quiet and that is the true me. I have to protect her because thhis world wants to hurt her and she is too good for it. that sounds weird.. But i know i have to keep this shell around me because peope see weakness and want to go for it/. when i gaine dback my sag and leo self i have used it like a shield against people and emotions. only a few know about my soter side/. jesus nampende and allan do. allan has used it and used it agains me to quiet myself, jesus looks down on it and i think nampende is the only one who sees it and sympathzes with it. alone i am soft and always ondering. when im with peoplei am dynamic lughing being wild and having fun. i know that that needs to be my face to protect me. these days i feel like i need to make a descion. I dont know when and what i need to decide on but i know something will happen soon in my life. something big. idk.maybe its the new moon in virgo? or maybe its just me. im usually okay with momnets of confusion but coupled with this sickness and weird feeling im worried. i had my period so im worired im pregnant but....idk.anywasy on a more shallower side im getting my hair done and im trying to get a new phone. i know its mostyly because i wanna just fuck show people i actually am cute asf? for some reason i cna never capture how beauiful i am in pictures. maybe its the dymanicness of my face. idk i mosty want jesus to se it i think he thinks im ugy af and im like not??? if he saw me in person i dont think he would be saying and talking to me the ay he does. but i cant help things and tb its better that way. if i eve rsee him it will be a good suprise for me when i smirk at him like boyyyy you don fucked up;. anywyas im being etty and yes my exercises ha and will be fueled with this drema in mind veen tho i know it may not actually happen nor go the way i want ti to go. ughh sometimes i forget that im 23 and dont need to have it ll figured out. like thast not un expuse but i always be putting so much pressure on myself to know so much and catch up because i froze so much of myself. i know my body ma=eant well with how it chose to protect me but sis, i suffer lol.I am trying my best to just do my best. I feel tested and tested constantly but i guess with trying to be a better person and working on yourself. oh wait. PLUTO. i remmeber asking pluto a month ago to reveal all my bad shit a lotttt over the course of a month and sicne its a slow moving planet its prob now just hitting me. yikes. well if i cna make it through this then i really will be rdy for anything. so much pressure and stimulation i know i can survive but damn i need a break and shit.well i have tomorrow off so im probgonna chill and dhit. i have a meeting with some witches and other femmes in about an hour so lmao idk man im just trying my best. I hoope the universe sees that im trying because awd jesus i am. I love myself through this no matter what. the feeling that im gonna die is creeping up again its so strange i hvent felt this oh...its probably just anxiety over this sickess. ugdwheteriutuieyte45465hthrethuwt im gonna stop lol this has been too long already (peep the change in tone thast my sag self shining through)

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