#i want to be here i’m just SCARED sgajshsnd i’m just shaky and tired and tense and aaaaaaaaa

[willowfey]

genuine question does anyone have any tips on how to manage prolonged constant extreme anxiety? like the kind where u have to always stay distracted bc any second alone with ur thoughts will send u into a nauseous pit. the kind that makes it so u never get a restful sleep and u never have an appetite and ur hands are always shaking and ur muscles are painfully tense. anyone know uh…… what i can do about that

(i don’t have insurance atm and my medical anxiety is far too high to get anything prescribed atm so i need things that i can do on my own other than breathing and i’m sick of reading articles)

#it feels like it did when my mom was sick and i couldn’t think about anything else for months #except my mom ISN’T sick anymore. so there’s no one reason i can point to #it’s just always there. my stomach hurts my jaw hurts my body hurts #i can do things to stay distracted but when the night rolls back around i feel like i’m trapped in a haunted house #i’m just so tired i wanna cry about it. i want to relax so bad. i want to feel okay and safe and rested SO FUCKING BAD #i didn’t used to be like this i hatehatehate it i don’t wanna be like this or feel like this anymore #not to mention my sister has such high anxiety rn too that even if i’m distracting my own brain she can pull me back into it with hers #how do i exist without being endlessly terrified of everything that could happen to anyone at any time? #without the constant painful awareness of every tick of every second passing by? #im like this close to a meltdown at all times. i’d rather be apathetic than this it’s breaking my bones #i’m physically safe in that i want to remind anyone reading this that i have never been yk. suicidal or anything it’s not like that at all. #i want to be here i’m just SCARED sgajshsnd i’m just shaky and tired and tense and aaaaaaaaa #i need help. idek what that means i just need someone else to tell me it’s gonna be okay #(@ the friends that DO tell me that every day. i love u so much i appreciate u so much. i wish my body would remember it) #i put my feet in grass today and touched a tree and made tea and cleaned the house and it helped a little. it did. #but i just feel like everything takes this constant conscious effort and it’s soooo tiringgggggg i just want to rest #i want to let someone else control my brain for a while #sigh #okay i’m done i just needed to scream about it for a moment #there are places to go and things to paint and songs to listen to #i will keep going. even scared. i just wish i were less scared.