#i need help. idek what that means i just need someone else to tell me it’s gonna be okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

formulawonu · 1 year

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hello !! i like your writing sooo much <3 may i request how seventeen would be when they have a crush on you? tyvm ^____^

seventeen & crushes

a/n: hi!!! thank u so much for ur kind words!! im back i missed u tumblr world. i miss svt so much. sorry this was a lil too long :”) alexa play crush by seventeen rn

seungcheol: plsss HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY MELT EVERY. TIME. SOMETHING CUTE HAPPENS BETWEEN U BOTH 😭 and his crush would be seen in the tiniest of details. like if cheol knew he was going to see u or ~potentially~ bump into u he would make sure to wear more of his cologne that u once said smelled really good. he wouldnt tell anyone but he would spend a lil longer getting ready to make sure he looked good if he sees u. practices what he could talk to u about. but in front of u he would be so nonchalant 🥱 fml it’d be like “oh? y/n ur here?” HE KNEW U WERE COMING THATS WHY HE CAME GET OUT CHEOL

jeonghan: no bec hannie would be so cute :/ like he’d affectionately annoy u throughout the day because he just loves having u part of his day. he just loves talking to u. specifically you. it makes him happy and giddy. and he doesn’t think much of it until someone else (read as: shua and seungkwan) brings it up dshjfdf “so jeonghan ur lil crush on y/n is cute” “what ?” then he proceeds to think abt it and its a lightbulb moment and then he gets kinda cute and shy around u and ur like “jeonghan whats wrong with you u havent said anything weird these past few days its getting weird” he just starts giggling around u shut up 😭 then masks it by saying smth like “so you DO like it when i annoy u 😏 my masterplan is working” ok gaslighter

joshua: SWEETEST. GUY. EVER. like i think shua is the type to regularly check on you throughout the day or leave u good morning texts idek 😭 like he’d say he hopes u have a good day and then lets u know he’s free to talk at night if u wanna talk abt how ur day went haha just in case haha but its no biggie if you cant haha (he’s really overthinking this is he being too pushy????) and i think he’d realize pretty quickly he has a crush on you when he notices he likes being near u when u guys are in the same place and he’d be like huh this is happening! but who wouldn’t like them! would continue being the sweet guy he is and hopes for the best 🤞

junhui: noooooo my sweet junhui 😭 he would really remember every single thing you tell him. you have a test on this day? he’s wishing you good luck first thing in the morning or buying you breakfast/coffee before it because u can’t take a test on an empty stomach! you have a job interview or an event? he’s helping you get ready for it and practicing whatever could happen to help you prepare. u like this specific snack and he’s going to be seeing u soon? takes a pic of it to send to u then buys it so he can give it to u. he’s such a selfless and caring guy by nature and all he wants is to be there for you in any way he can. IM ACTUALLY GONNA CRY LIKE we all see how caring he is towards the other members can u imagine being on the receiving end of his affection

hoshi: this could really go two ways honestly lmfao he is either EXTREMELY distant from u because he thinks anything else would make his crush on u waaaay too obvious and he needs to be the cool guy!!!!! and he can’t do that if he cant get his damn heart to calm down every single time ur around!!!! or he could literally be everywhere u are 🤣 its like fuck the cool guy look i like her what can i do ??? like u show up to a party and suddenly ur like omg soonyoung ur here. “yea u said u were going so here i am!” or u tell him ur alone studying at a cafe and he shows up bec he “didnt want u to be lonely” 😭 honestly he has the best intentions he just wants to be there for u bec it makes him happy and hopefully it makes u too :””) grrrrrr

wonwoo: this one kills me because he’d REALLY REALLY try 😭😭😭 and i don’t mean this in a tries to be someone they are not kind of thing but he’d make so much effort to connect with u ://// like whenever he sees u he’d find ways to talk to you even if it’s the awkward “hey how are you” “i’m doing good! how are you” “i’m doing good too (◠﹏◠)” then hes internally panicking scrambling running around his head trying to think of what else he can say so the conversation doesn’t end and he ends up talking/asking about the randomest shit like so do you come here often NO WONU Y/N DOESNT THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE PARTY YOU KNOW THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE my god he’s so precious please take care of him please take care of his heart please love me back wonu *cue seungkwan imitating his laugh*

woozi: i almost teared up thinking about jihoon having a crush on u. my god like on the outside he’d be nearly the same he always is but those that know abt it see that his gaze flits ever so often to where you are when you’re around. just to make sure you’re okay. just to make sure you’re having a good time. just to see u smile bec that alone makes his day :/ PLZZZZ and every time u talk to him his heart flutters a lil quicker his smile is a lil bigger and the crinkles by his eyes come out a lil more. if ur someone close to him and u visit him in his studio regularly but u somehow stop visiting bc ur getting a lil busier these days he’d shoot u a quick text and be like why havent u been annoying me in the studio recently (thats code for: i miss you. i wanna see you. is everything all good with you?) KMN!!!!!

minghao: i think he’d be very honest w himself about it. like it’s just a crush it happens. these are minghao’s present feelings and he accepts them as they come ! my mature guy. he doesn’t try to force anything because he wants everything to just happen naturally!!!! ofc he makes it a point to say hello to you first whenever you come around and he makes sure to send u the name of that book he told u about and he could come with you to go get a copy if you’d like :”) ofc he thinks about u and how ur doing more often than he realizes. he just… he just loves the feeling of having a crush on you. it’s so exciting and new and the premise of being able to get to know you more and the potential things you guys could bond over is something so splendid so personal so special to him plz crush him back

mingyu: I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MINGYU WILL NEVER HAVE A CRUSH ON ME but he would be so silly so cute so overwhelmingly charming everytime u are around. we know how clumsy the guy is but he’s stumbling over his words cracking the lamest jokes to make u laugh casually putting his arm around you when you guys are walking to protect u (hes freaking out should he have done that????) LIKEEEEE HE’D BE SO CUTE IDK IF U SEE THE VISION BUT I SEE THE VISION 😭 but he’d also be so freaking cool that u would never even THINK that he has a crush on you. because he’s just that endearing. he’s offering to bring you places because he’ll be in the area (he’s actually coming from his place) he’s hugging you a lil longer goodbye he’s calling you at night just to hear your voice he’s sending you pics of himself to update u on what he’s doing he’s so dhkjdsfghskjgf just one chance mingyu

seokmin: byeeeeee this man is the opposite of discreet hdfgksjfhdg but its the cutest thing ever 😭 the moment he realizes he has a crush on u he suddenly gets all shy around you always just smiling at you finding ways to be closer to you like maybe sitting across you when ur out eating with friends because it’s not too close but not too far and he could still talk to you and see you :/ he’s blushing every time u compliment him on something idek he’d just be so cute and flustered all the time ahshadajdh fr after he makes a joke and you’re like “seokmin ur so funny” he’d be like “REALLY 🥹” proceeds to make the same joke in variations just to make u laugh more and bec he knows u find it funny so it’s fool-proof!!!!! he’s making u laugh it’s music to his ears!!!! but would 9/10 panic if he was ever left alone with u and he isn’t that close to you so all he does is smile at u until u ask him smth and he can breathe a lil more and relax into the convo

seungkwan: awww seungkwan would be so comfortable around u. so caring. he’d look after you and remind u every day to take ur vitamins! don’t forget to feed ur pet! make sure to leave by this time so u aren’t late! but he’d also treat you like his best friend. like i think he realizes he has a crush on u while u guys are bickering over smth so stupid and he’s like wow i don’t think i would ever want to bicker abt something this stupid with anyone else :”””) hahahakillmenowhahahaha and he’d always be attached to ur hip when u guys are out like he’s just always looking out for you and is so carefree whenever ur there so it’s such a refreshing feeling for him to have someone like that in his life pls care for him back ;/ pls look out for him too bec thats the only thing he wants to do for you!!!!

vernon: mans is absolutely SHOCKED. FLOORED. like?????? he didn’t know he had time to have a crush?????? when did this happen?????? but then after thinking abt it for a while he’s like hm yea that does check out 🤣 tbh i think he doesn’t change how he is with you at all. it’s a crush he’s not in grade school anymore ! but alas it manifests itself in his life in different ways. suddenly he has to make sure you taste this amazing dish he had. he has to make sure u check out this dope song he found. have you even watched the world’s funniest movie (to him)??? there’s so much of the important and special things in his life he suddenly wants to share with you and he just cares so much about what you think and your opinion of things bec you’re so cool and he’s so curious about who you are and boom there you go mr chwe you DO have a crush so what!

dino: djhfgmhdgmf CAN LEE CHAN CUT IT OUT HE ISN’T GETTING MARRIED HE ISN’T IN LOVE ITS JUST A CRUSH GET UP!!!!!! this guy is literally overthinking everything. what should he do now ? does he confess ? are they the one ? 😭😭😭 slow down sailor u are simply fond of the person -__- he’s deep in thought and u have a member asking him whats wrong why is he so stressed and hes just like i just ruined everything my life is over i like y/n . BYE that shit spreads so fast whoever asked him is informing the gc and suddenly everyone is involved everyone is teasing him and he can’t do anything abt it because THEY ARE RIGHT HE’S A SUCKER FOR YOU 😭 would actually message u abt it and be like ahahaha hi how’s it going how’s your day been wanna hang out tomorrow miss you fml but he’s cute he’s boyfriend-coded just a lil lost at times but he means well 🤣

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boul3vvard · 1 year

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Rengoku x GN! Reader

(One shot)

★Warning(s): none really reader uses gender neutral pronouns😛 Rengoku might be a lil OOC so… 🏃🏾‍♀️ also SOME of the characters are color coded.

★Y/n L/n = Your name/ Last name

★Words: idek💀

★Notes: this is my first request from @coolminahi (thank you very much🫶🏿) not gonna lie I don’t think this is my best work but I’ve been going back and forth on this for about 2 weeks or what felt like 2 weeks😭😭 but again thank you so much for this request it was really fun🙏🏿. Also got help from some of my friends on this one so shoutout to them🫡. (And the usual..might be some grammatical errors and punctuation😮‍💨 I’m not really good in that realm LMAOO) enjoy🫵🏿

“I know you all are probably confused about the sudden request for a meeting but I’m happy to tell you that we have a new Hashira with us today.” master ubuyashiki said as the Hashira quieted down and made it to their respective area’s quickly, some of them with shocked expressions across their faces. “with all due respect master do you think it’s a smart idea to have a stranger come in too late in the game? I mean we are already so close to our goal in taking down Muzan we don’t need a weakling to come and fuck it up” Sanemi the wind Hashira, said annoyed as Tengen nudged him for using foul language towards their master while the rest agreed. “I apologize sir but I agree, this is way too risky” Obanai the serpent Hashira said. “They have done an outstanding job climbing up the ranks and have worked so hard to earn such a title so please, I know I can count on you all to welcome them with open arms. you can come out now y/n” Hinaki and Nichika 2 of the eldest quintuplet children of the masters held both of your hands as you walked up blindfolded. Why the hell are they blindfolded I hope they’re not trying to fight like that. Ha, this is gonna be a fun way to get yourself killed. “Hi everyone my name is y/n l/n the ____ Hashira, it’s my pleasure to meet you guys I have heard a lot about you all but have never had the chance to meet any of you in person, it’s such an honor to be fighting alongside everyone,” y/n said with a dainty smile one that made the flame pillars heart flutter a little bit.

“Why the hell are they blindfolded,” Sanemi asked rudely but said what everyone else was thinking. “it’s to control my power” “control your power” Shinobu repeated “well you see my eyes play a special part in my breathing form, when I take my blindfold off I’m able to go all out,” you said revealing your eyes to everyone. “oh my” Shinobu the insect Hashira gasped. “well I’ll be, you are one of the most stunning people I’ve ever seen,” Tengen said with his eyes wide open. “besides my beautiful wives of course” he bragged. “wives?” “Oh yes, they are the finest kunoichi around, although I don’t mind having a 4th” he looked at you almost predatory, and winked“ “4TH” y/n gaped as the others laughed. “AHH YOUR EYES THEY’RE SO BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL,” the love Hashira said with a squeak. “Oh th-thank you,” you said as you tried to hide your face in your hands feeling like it was on 10,000 degrees. You backed up a little bit into someone’s chest “oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean-“ “NONE OF THAT, TIS ALRIGHT!! MY NAME IS RENGOKU KYOJURO BUT YOU CAN CALL ME KYOJURO..only if you want” holding a hand out to you, y/n smiled softly grabbing it.

“I don’t give a shit about none of that I just want to see if they are strong enough to hold the title or was the master just bluffing,” Sanemi said holding the hilt of his sword. “IF WE HAVE THE MASTER's WORD THEN I TOO BELIEVE THEY'RE STRONG ENOUGH” Rengoku yelled while holding your shoulders “oh you wanna fight me?” you said, the shy act you had going on finally disappearing. “Oh this will be good” Shinobu cheered as everyone watched the battle that was about to unravel in front of them. “just cause you’re a newbie doesn’t mean that I’ll go easy on you” he sneered. “Noted” y/n smiled a little more wickedly. Sanemi swung his sword at y/n not giving them a chance to unsheathe their sword as well, y/n swiftly dodged it twisting their body up in the air “they’re quick” Tengen said as y/n quickly swung their sword at Sanemi narrowly missing his head. “tch” Sanemi looked at you with an angry panicked look. “What’s wrong? I’m just trying to see if you’re strong enough to hold your title,” you say mockingly as you shrugged your shoulders. Y/n then quickly kicked their foot under Sanemi’s pointing their sword at him “I win”. y/n reached a hand out to the man giving him a sorry look. “I don’t need your pity idiot, move” Sanemi smack their hand out the way and left.

“They’re so cool” Mitsuri whispered to herself. “that was flashy, you’re strong I expected that though” Tengen slapped you on the back for a job well done. “first of all OUCH second of all thank you“ you winced as your back started to sting. Muichirou was in no mood to speak so he stuck his tongue out at you and you mirrored his actions. “Don’t mind him he doesn’t like change at all, Mitsuri and I are gonna hang out later if you want to join, you know so you could tell us a little more about yourself” Shinobu said “um no thank you I was planning on focusing on my training for a little bit,” you said with a bow. “there’s no need for none of that I understand, there’s always a next time,” Shinobu said with a smile. “yea” you smiled and waved back as you left.

You decided to train far into the woods as it was the only place where you were not able to break anything. You trained for about an hour before you decided it was time for a break. You sat with your back against a tree and closed your eyes taking in the peace that you craved for so long. “Do you mind if I sit with you” you opened 1 of your eyes then immediately shot up nervously. “did I interrupt you?” He said as you scooted over to give him some room. “n-no not at all, I was just taking a break from training for so long” “oh I see” a wave of awkward silence washed over the both of you. “Soooo do you come to this area of the woods often.” you said as you turned to look at him “yea this is where I come to relax all the time, it’s so quiet” “oh sorry I didn’t know I was in your way,” you said as you were about to get up. “no problem it’s better when you’re with someone… what you did in today's meeting earlier was truly amazing, you know I’ve never seen someone move as quickly as you did besides Tengen” he trailed off. “well maybe you and I could train together sometime” you laughed. He stared at your face for what seemed like forever, you started to feel a little insecure at the way he looked at you. *was something on my face*, your face began to flush with embarrassment until he finally spoke up. “your eyes are truly the most beautiful I’ve ever seen they look like two gemstones have been enfolded into your irises” he said with a huge smile wiped across his face. “th-thank you” you stutter as your face began to heat up. You were still not used to being showered in compliments all the time because of your upbringing so It was still so foreign to you. Rengoku placed his hand on your forehead, “are you okay? you don’t look so well, Are you sick or something?” He said worryingly. *I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA PASS OUT* you screamed at yourself. “I’m okay, I’m totally fine,” you said grabbing his huge calloused hand with two of your soft ones. “I’m just not used to praises like that” “and why’s that?” he said tilting his head to the side. *he’s quite adorable* you thought with a soft smile “I don’t know” “well you should get used to it I’m only telling you how I see it” he said with a chuckle, you doing the same. The two of you enjoyed the silence together taking in the greenery surrounding the both of you. It was peaceful. It wasn’t until you looked over at him again and were met with him dozing off. “you can go to sleep if you want, I’ll be on the lookout if anything happens okay” you whispered trying not to wake him. and with that, he fell asleep.

You ended up falling asleep yourself while failing to keep your word. You were out for about 15 minutes until you felt someone pick you up. “I DIDNT MEAN TO WAKE YOU, MY APOLOGIES” he yelled waking you up completely as he lifted you onto his back a lot more energetic than he was before. “I should be the one apologizing, I said I was gonna wake you but I ended up falling asleep as well,” you said softly a blush appearing on your face. “NONSENSE, AT LEAST WE WERE ABLE TO GET A MOVE ON, BEFORE SUN DOWN, THAT WOULD BE A DISASTER” “you’re so loud you know” you chuckled “you also don’t have to carry me I can walk the rest of the way” “I DONT HAVE TO BUT IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE TO, ALTHOUGH I DONT KNOW WHERE YOUR ESTATE IS SO YOU WILL HAVE TO DIRECT ME” “okay,” you said burying your face into the crook of his neck

The two of you conversed the entire way home, he would ask you questions about your family and your life as you did the same. You found out that he has a younger brother and just by the way he explained him to you, you knew that they had a very strong bond with each other, you could tell how much he admired his younger brother it kinda felt like you knew him before getting the chance to know him. He also told you about his parents, you wanted to know more about them but the slight change in his tone told you everything you needed to know, plus you didn’t want to be nosy only realizing that the both of you didn't even know about the existence of each other earlier this morning so you bit your tongue.

“Thank you for taking me home, even though I told you I could walk myself” you nudged him. “I TOLD YOU ALREADY, IT IS ALRIGHT U DONT HAVE TO THANK ME, PLUS I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE MYSELF IF I LET SOMEONE AS PRETTY AS YOU GET HURT” it felt like the wind got knocked outta your system. “DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG?” He asked. “no, no it’s just..you think I'm pretty?” “OF COURSE, YOU'RE GORGEOUS” you took the chance and tested the waters a little bit. “so you’d walk anyone you find attractive home?” You asked “Have you ever walked the love Hashira home?” you said changing the question quickly. “NO, SHE ISNT EXACTLY MY TYPE, PLUS SHE'S MORE OF A LITTLE SISTER HAHA” “oh so you have a type?” the way he became tense made you laugh out loud. “I’m joking I just wanted to mess with you haha” Another wave of silence rushed past the both of you, it started to become awkward. “well I think I’m gonna call it a night, I’ll see you around” you began to turn around until he grabbed you by the wrist. “DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT LATER ON?” “are you asking me out on a date?” “ONLY IF YOU WANT TO THOUGH, IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE A DA-“ he said his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. “I would love to” you smiled at him before parting ways.

#anime edit #anime art #demon slayer #hashira x reader #rengoku fanart #rengokukyoujorou #rengoku x y/n #rengoku fluff #kimetsu no yaiba rengoku #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x female reader #demon slayer kyojuro #kyojuro headcanons #kyojuro icons #kyojuro x reader #kyojuro smut

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just-sarah-xx · 5 months

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tw vent

idek. i hate having to get up in the mornings and having to go out and be okay and im hurting inside all the time and im used to bottling it up except im not sure how good i do that and i just have the hurt and the everything stuck inside me and it really makes me want to die everything is the same and i really. dont think theres anything worth staying for anymore. there is nothing i want more than to die and disintegrate into ashes and dust and fly to sunlit forests until the wind sweeps me somewhere else again. im still telling myself, i have a future, what about our childhood dreams, what about moving out, what about giving my kids the childhood they deserve, what about living a better life and getting better for myself, what about being a psychiatrist and helping people, what about living with my friends, what about the things ill never get to do. but i really dont know if thats enough. i dont even know if hes enough to make me stay anymore. where did i go wrong? how did i go from young and naive and loving everyone and everything in my own little world to this? destroying myself with everything i do and constantly wanting to die? life is so underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time and im worried about everyone. like these 2 people are dealing with everything but i just want them to be okay. they dont deserve the hurt and negative feelings and i wish i could take it away or they could at least give it to me because theyre the best thing to ever happen to me and i really love them but theyre dealing with stuff too and i check in and do what i can but i dont think im good enough to be there for them. they have other friends and other closer friends i feel like but sometimes they vent or tell me about their problems and i wish i could make it all better. they deserve the world and i love them so much theyve both been through a lot and i just love these 2 people so so so much they mean so much to me except i dont know how to show it and i dont want them to think im being weird or anything i dont want to talk to someone about it because i feel so stupid when they comment on it and i feel like im being attention seeking and i just hate it and i hate how i even need to vent because why cant i be okay i didnt want this i feel so much hurt sometimes i dont even know why and its so much that it turns physical and into a pain in my chest and i feel like my heart is being clawed out and someone is squeezing my lungs and dicing it up into little pieces and some of them call it love and others are just like that and i feel like a puppet sometimes and i feel really fucking dead sometimes and i cant do anything well or at all and i feel so replaceable sometimes because there could be someone better because i feel like everyone hates me sometimes and i want to be better except i cant because this is the way i am and i really hate it because why cant i be perfect and good and be there for my friends and not mess up the relationships i have and maybe i wouldnt be left out all the time and maybe i would be the friend that walks with the other friends on the sidewalk and maybe i would be the friend that they tell their secrets to and maybe i would be the friend that makes their life at least a little better and maybe i would be the friend they trust with their life and maybe we would have that connection and i want it so badly but whenever i try it just doesnt work and i am so tired im so tired of life i dont know where i went wrong and i just want to go so bad and never come back but whos going to be the one taking everything that he throws at us so my siblings wont have to grow up with the trauma and end up how i did and who would be the one to check in on them because no one else will and who will be the one who teaches my sister that its okay to love and not be okay and who will teach both of my siblings that love is okay and being yourself is okay and who will be the one who is there for him when he needs it and i just sfkghj

#tw vent #tw suicide #tw rant #tw trauma #mentions of death #vent #irl people please ignore this whole thing im good #swearing cw #tw abuse #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #tw depressive

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ozlices · 8 months

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really fucking sucks that it does not matter how openly we cry about how fucked up we are after everything this year has put us through, we are just. ignored. like. we're very open about having abandonment issues & a burden complex, but nobody gives a fuck abt ensuring that isn't. you know. constantly fueled in the aftermath of all the shit this year put us through.

we haven't suffered in silence. quite the opposite. but we're literally just. ignored. & left to rot. no matter how transparent we are abt how badly we're doing. & it sucks. like it's getting to a point where we're genuinely starting to get apathetic towards our friends & we don't fucking care to fight it off anymore.

if my friends were posting the kinda shit we do during our meltdowns, id be rushing to call them as soon as i could. maybe im just different. maybe im just a dumbass for caring so goddamn much! cause jfc it clearly isn't mutual no matter what!

how am i supposed to fight off my persecutor telling me nobody fucking loves me bc i don't deserve it when i can beg for somebody to lend their hand to me, & all i get is silence.

we haven't been checked up on. anyone we used to talk to daily has just decided we're too depressing or whatever to be around, i guess. like. idk what anyone wants from us anymore. i really fucking don't. all we want is to have somebody give a shit abt us & fucking MEAN it. actually be there for us. actually take care of us the same way we take care of everybody else.

but nah nah instead we're just. having our complexes fueled. our persecutor's ammo refilled, meanwhile we're left with nothing. absolutely fucking nothing.

the best relationship of our lives couldn't even last longer than a month & no matter what, we can't fight being made to feel like we just weren't worth keeping around.

we've never escaped being "too depressed to handle" as our token in a friend group, but like. idk. maybe if we weren't made to constantly feel so fucking alone & like nobody genuinely gives a shit abt us, we'd be able to At Least cope a bit better.

idek what to do or say anymore. like our persecutor gets on our ass for saying "nobody cares" like "oh well you're just being manipulative & fishing." bitch i GENUINELY fucking feel like nobody fucking cares about me & not a single goddamn person has tried to significantly fight that notion to any genuine degree.

it'll be fought with filler words in the moment, but again. nobody checks on us. nobody just randomly tells us they love us and care about us. nobody does the little things we've always done for our loved ones we know are going through rough times. even if we directly tell people it helps. so, what the fuck else am i sposed to say or think.

im tired of feeling like this. im tired of being lonely, and unloved, and uncared for, and like it's all fucking pointless. im tired.

i just feel like we're just forgotten about until we're needed. but when we are the ones who need someone else to help us? well, we can just fucking rot, then. i guess. we're just an annoying burden who's too depressing to be around. not worth any genuine effort. and we cannot keep fighting that notion when nobody gives a shit to stand with us against it.

#mine #vent//#i just had to get this out. like it's to a point where it's even significantly hurting our little.#they often are the one making our statuses the way they are on our priv discord #& like. idk. v much fucking sucks ppl KNOW we have a little in our system who tends to front the most #the statuses on the acc are not some uwu im depwessed moment. it's a little being hurt & crying for help #& just. being ignored. like... idk. idk what to do or say or think anymore. wtf are any of us sposed to do w this.#what does anyone want from us. we've been open abt how brutal this year has been. how badly off we are #& our health has only gotten WORSE & worse. we have no idea what's even going on w our body anymore #but like! the aspect of maybe smth is seriously wrong & we could be hospitalized or need surgery is just like.#cool i literally do not fucking care bc nobody else would. so what's the point!#im tired of being in pain and suffering alone. it hurts & it's cruel & it all feels so empty.#i just dont fucking know what to fucking do anymore. none of us do.#we just usually sit in a circle in the front & hold each other to avoid having a breakdown/meltdown everyday #bc we feel so suffocated by the loneliness & misery & having to fight it on our own.#fucking... bullshit. i wish i could stop caring i hate having a heart it isn't worth it i wanna tear it out

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selfundiagnosed · 1 year

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why is it mean for someone to tell you you should get help? you're obviously in a lot of distress and should see someone about it for your own mental health...these 'patterns' you're leaning into are only exarcerbating your mental condition. but if you want to embrace your psychosis and go completely off the rails i guess that's your prerogative

to insinuate that a.) i dont know about my own mental state & wellbeing and you need to “tell me” because the psychosis makes it so i cant notice how it affects how i function every single day of my life b.) i need to delete my socials because of what someone else did to me to put me in this state c.) you somehow have any idea whats going on in my life, if im being treated, what symptoms im experiencing, that I legitimately cant tell ~whats real~ d.) noticing patterns doesnt mean im going off the deep rail LMFAO is all the stupidest shit ever.

for future reference, how you and the other anon are approaching someone you perceive as experiencing active psychosis is going to put people in active psychosis in danger to themselves. its funny to see random anons tell me what im experiencing and what i need to do about it to fix it when its evident from how this was approached you don’t actually care about me you just want to make yourselves feel like youre above me for whatever reason. “but if you want to embrace your psychosis and go completely off the rails i guess that's your prerogative” and “Deactivate your TikTok, delete the app and go see a psychologist” are sooo condescending. yeah deleting an app is absolutely gonna fix this problem. a diagnosis ive had since i was 15. stupid shits idek what to say like are you both actual tiktok teenagers who think they know everything about everything because get off my blog you suck so bad lmaooo sooo condescending. Im completely capable of making my own decisions im 22 lol i dont need tumblr anons i cant see telling me to do shit im doing already. i have a psychiatrist. ive been seeing him for years. i have a therapist. i saw her after my psychosis got retriggered. i know i am sick! i literally cant leave my house! when i do… i freak the fuck out! for HOURS !!! my family and friends all know how deeply this affects me and i promise you none of them have said this shit to me the way you and the “other anon” did. i stopped socializing, i havent made any new friends, i cant trust the people i do know im not close to anymore. i promise you i know WAYYY more than you about how it impacts me way more than you. my socials are the one open window i didnt put curtains on. i completely control what you all are able to see theough leaving this tiny window unclothed for the internet to look into my life. i dont need random people to see my jokes on my blog about my delusions and tell me its a delusion like im being very tongue in cheek about all of my delusional posts. i absolutely believe them but im making fun of myself for how crazy i sound.

i really have not a clue why youd think this is an appropriate way to approach it but it leads me to believe youre a tiktok user who probably thought the dude that manipulated his way into a famous persons house while she was manic was a Good Idea because clearly she wouldnt get help. lmfao its bad in so many facets. imagine if i was fully and completely immersed in my paranoia and delusions of being a targeted individual (which is the root of everything im experiencing right now): ask yourself how would you feel YOU felt targeted by a higher entity and now random anonymous people are telling you what you’re experiencing and how youre treated everyday isnt real and youre crazy. like to us its so very real and no amount of rationalizing makes it better. i have only small interactions every once in a blue moon these days that makes me think i could be okay and that im not being targeted and then every single day multiple times a day its shown to me continuously. this included! you and the “other anon” should really reevaluate how you talk to people in severe mental crisis because this is like the exact opposite of how you should react to seeing someone delusion posting or whatever and it shows me you dont know a single loved one with who experiences this shit.

in the future, fucking look into how you approach someone struggling. if i wasnt as lucid in my psychosis or in touch with reality you genuinely could have put me in danger. im going to send you and anyone on my blog watching me like im a circus act off with this so you never put anyone in my position in a state of self harm. but if youre too lazy to click on the link im showing you anyways

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herofics · 2 years

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denki and kiri separate x reader where she feels like she craves comfort even when she isn't struggling and imagines scenarios about being saved from herself often which leads to her feeling like sh ing or doing sewerslide even tho she isn't suicidal just bc she feels like she sucks for imagining that and she feels like a user or a bad person? idek how to explain it and ofc don't write this if you don't want to or if it makes no sense cause even i genuinely can't tell what the fuck is wrong with me

I honestly didn't know if I was gonna write this, because I didn’t really know how to write this. I’ve been doing well with my own mental health, so these things feel so distant to me, at least most of the time. I just wrote something short for Kirishima since there is this post for Kaminari already. Also if you’re ill/have depression or whatever, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, but that you need help

“Hey Eiji?” you said, as you laid on your bed next to him.

You were laying on the bed with your head in Kirishima’s lap and just looking up at him.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?”

“What do you mean?” Kirishima asked, his brows raising in confusion.

“I just… There has to be something wrong with me, I don’t know how else to explain the way I’m feeling”

“How exactly are you feeling?” Kirishima asked.

“That’s the thing, I have no freaking idea. I just feel like a bad person, like I’m taking advantage of you and anyone who has ever been nice to me. I just don’t want to deal with this crap, and I feel like hurting myself all the time” you said, trying to keep your composure and turning your head to the side so you weren’t facing him anymore.

“There’s nothing wrong with you baby, you’re just not doing well. I might not fully understand what you’re feeling, but I definitely know you’re not a bad person” Kirishima said, taking your hand.

“I wish I believed that” you said quietly.

“Well, if you don’t, I’m just gonna keep reminding you until you do” Kirishima flashed that toothy smile of his.

“Thank you” you sniffled.

You turned and wrapped your arms around his waist. You didn’t feel like you deserved someone like him, someone so kind and loving, who was there for you no matter how much you tried to push him away.

Kirishima gave you a few head pats. He was worried about you, and just wanted to help. He couldn’t really offer you answers or solutions, but he would be there for you the best he could.

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #kirishima eijirou #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #comfort #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction

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tarnishedxknight · 9 days

Photo

Thank you so much for answering my questions, Silence! You don’t need to thank me for reading that, I love to write so whenever someone explains why they love to do so as well, I like to sit down and read it. Writing is a different process for everyone, so it’s always interesting to learn what moves other people to do it, and since you wrote about your own process I was like “📠?? 📠!!” (Just pretend that’s a typewriter ok idek what that emoji is supposed to be.)

Oh I understand why you would mourn the ability to create original writing, that’s why I said you could try with shorter stories. Omg no, not every story has to be 4-5 pages. Some of them may be 10 pages, 20 pages, 30 pages, depends on how many pages I need to develop each story. What I mean is that you could try with much shorter ones at first since you struggle with original writing, and so do I, until your brain picks up the pace, creatively speaking, and then make ‘em longer. It’s okay to know one’s limits and focus on easier things until we’re ready to push those limits, especially when it comes to creating. And if I think a short story has potential, I can include it anyway but still work on developing it as a novel one day.

I’m so glad you’re considering it! It’s helping me so I thought it could help you as well. Since you asked how to do that with a verbose style, I try to focus on events instead of entire journeys. This could translate to still using a verbose style to narrate something brief, like a group of drunken young folks who leave a club late at night and stumble across a powerful vampire/werewolf/monster who proceeds to slaughter them. It’s a short, horrific event, not a journey. What works for me is writing stories that are completely independent from one another in a way that a person could read the last story on the book first, and it wouldn’t change how they read the others. Try what works for you. The collection of stories that different characters tell to this girl who is a writer sounds pretty good and it’s really sweet, maybe try working on that if you can!

We have stories in us and they want to get out. Sometimes we will create them from scratch, sometimes they’ll be the untold stories of canon characters whose movies left a lot of things unexplored. But at the end of the day, to tell stories is to create and that’s pretty cool.

__________

{out of dalmasca} You’re very welcome, and thank you for asking them! It was fun to talk about my whole process. I haven’t really done that in a number of years, so it was interesting to see where my head was at after not thinking about those kinds of things for a long time. And I always love to hear how other writers develop their craft. I went to so many writing panels back in the day at GenCon to hear how other writers do certain things and how they approach certain scenes or topics. It was really interesting and it helped me to grow as a writer in the end.

I do think your suggestion of trying to write some short stories is a good one. Starting small might help me get back into the habit again. Trying to write an event instead of a whole journey is great advice, heh, because I always think I have to write something epic and that’s just not the case. I have in recent years tried to do the whole NaNoWriMo thing, but I never got very far into any of my ideas. But maybe even that’s too big of a project right now. I’ll think about it and try some things. And if nothing else, I always write here on this site, which I’m enjoying very much. =)

Omg we do all have stories in us. And I always tell people, whether you write one page or thousands, just write! Get it out, express it, do it! I think it’s a wonderful hobby to have, but then again, I’m really biased. XD

#{ out of dalmasca } ᵒᵒᶜ #{ silence writes }

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blackvail22 · 7 months

Text

9/24/23 — 1:10am

theres a lot that happened within the past two days its insane. on the 22nd, i had to train this new associate for the whole day. he's rlly nice, and he's fun to talk to. he caught on really quick! im excited to work with him

also, that same day, i got back with my ex!!! it could be a dumb decision (because this is the 3rd time) but i really want things to work out. again, no one is going to know besides you... and... my coworkers, but thats different

the coworker that gave me his number, he gave me a note at work that says "im awkward so i dont know how to say this out loud, but i like you" and then taped a soda tab on it (it was the "hug" meaning one, which... i dont like but could be worse). so! ive told the new associate i have a boyfriend. im going to tell them i have a boyfriend, but im telling those im closest to at work that its because i dont want my worker to hit on me anymore

if he keeps going after that, i have to report him. im not letting someone get away with that, not this time.

i have to start standing up for myself... im just scared because of that teenager who got killed because she rejected her (adult) co-worker, im afraid its going to be me. this is the reason i dont like hearing abt death.

on another note, back to abt my boyfriend....

im writing this as soon as i ended the call with him. i miss him already. i wonder how and why my brain changes how i react to things because of a label. i feel so clingy. i want to talk to him more. he does make me happy, and i hope i make him happy too

oh, i also bought this candle... its supposed to "smell like london" and it says the scent is "afternoon biscuits and tea" so thats nice. i bought it to think of you, nd its nice that the color of the candle matches my room

oh last thing ! i took my permit drivers test and i passed it! feels so surreal because i never thought i was ever gonna end up driving but here we are lol

anyways i like this song

6:06am —

dude i couldnt fall asleep until like 4:30am and my mom woke me up at 5:30, screaming at me to find something i didnt have!!! i found it! and it was in her bag, a place she didnt look (because she only looked one place!!!!!!) at least i can sleep now, but idek if i can do that because i feel awake now. im going to sob. FUVKKK I HAVE A HEADACHE AND SINUS PAIN NOW IM GOING TO CRY DUDE. and the fact that she walked up the stairs to scream at me (she never walks up the stairs)???? ooo. im so mad bro! like im going to wake up whenever i have my alarms set and im going to punch a wall because i cant sleep without getting interrupted. IM PISSED TF OFF NOW bevause i havent had adequate sleep since my last off day (a week ago) and i dont have a lot of sleep for tomorrow because i have to wake up at 6am for an appointment thats 2hrs away. sure, ill sleep in the car, but with my mom? she wont let it happen. and i dont have another off day untl thursday, and i cant sleep in for that one either becahse i have another goddamn appointment in the morning. like, is this what being an adult is? being harrassed by coworkers, never having enough sleep, never able to fall asleep.... it cant be cause those all haopened when i was a teenager too. stuck in that cycle, though, and i cant wait for that cycle to finally end.

bad things always tend to happen to me. is it because i bring bad energy? AHHHHHHH i just need to scream cry

i am going to try to sleep now. I've rambled on for way too long

11:17pm

been incredibly sad today. i think it was my lack of sleep, or maybe it was my mom yelling at me and waking me up. still, my heart feels so ... heavy. i cant help but feel bad for people who love me. if i was them, i would choose anyone else to love endlessly. im undeserving of it all, anyway. i dont feel happy tonight. i hope tomorrow's better. i dont know what changed and made me feel this way because when i woke up and went to work, everything was fine until half way through my shift. it didnt really effect me, but them saying "oh, fun's over.. [my name]'s in a bad mood again.. everyone get away" keeps playing in my mind. it didnt affect me then, so i dont know why i keep thinking about it

i just want to fit on my roof and look at the moon, but its been rising really early so i dont think ill be able to see it now. ill watch some livestreams from space of the earth/the moon instead. something to comfort me while listening to music. i havent been able to watch any videos all the way through recently.. havent even been able to watch those gaming streams i like. hopefully ill feel better before i go to sleep

#Spotify

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thicksimpx · 2 years

Text

❦ ❦ - Alexis & Saitama (late but happy birthday bitch 😂🤎 @luffysthickwaifu )

Alexis and Saitama have a lazy weekend- what better way to start the morning than to take a scroll down memory lane🌚

Warnings : as always my content is 18+ Idek why I have to say it😐 , mature content, mature language ,mentions of stalking and obsession, drunk sex , attempted breeding, established relationship

“Hey” Alexis rolls over to lay on Saitama chest. “Remember how we met?”

“Yeah” he pulls her closer.

“I never thought I would meet my crush in person- let alone be lying in bed with them every night. Maybe fate is real”

“Yeah.. fate” he trails off thinking back to that faithful day.

—

“Uuuuahhah- “Saitama hears a hearty gasp behind him. Ignoring it obviously, it’s someone else’s problem he was just here to get his onigiri and go home.

“Yes bitch! It is him. I know his head from anywhere oh my god” he hears the woman try to whisper behind him. “No, I’m not going to say anything, I need to get the fuck up out of her- fine fine”

“Excuse me” he sighs feeling a tap on his shoulder. “You’re the capped baldy right?”

Turning around to face the unknown woman, his eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting to see a grown woman, let alone one so beautiful. Her golden skin shinning, almost glistening in the dimly lit store from the setting Sun peeking through the glass windows.

“Uh - please call me Saitama” he says placing a hand on the back of his neck.

“Okay.. Saitama” she smiles brightly, he flinched, his heart started beating hard- was he dying?

. “I never expected to run into you here or anywhere actually, you’re so fine- I. My bad.” She pauses. “I’m Alexis, just a big fan of yours. Mind if I take a picture to show my friend it was really you?”

“I gue- “before he could fully respond she snapped the pictures and immediately went on her phone mumbling to herself. ‘Nai is going to scream- I met my man ahah bitch’

Her man? Like as in we’re dating. “Um excuse me- Alexis?”

“Oop sorry! I didn’t mean for you to hear that. Don’t take me seriously. I know you’re not my man- it’s just that’s what I call men I lik- you know what never mind. I’m sure you have better things to be doing” she waves her hands brushing past him to the self-checkout to pay for her things- headache medicine and some water.

Zoned out, Saitama just watched as she checked out and left the store, ‘she said she likes me’ he mumbles quickly throwing some coins on the counter, grabbing his bag, and carefully following her.

‘I’m a hero, a-and it’s dangerous out here. it’s okay to make sure she gets home safe right? He reasoned with himself about why there was no harm in his actions. As he follows her thick frame, he couldn’t help but admire her backside, he made up scenarios - what would happen if I saved her right now? Would she hug me? Would I get to touch her? ‘

“Saitama?” He hears her call out to him. Shit play it cool.

“Hey! Alexis right?” He asks tilting his head

“Yup! I would’ve never thought you lived around this way, maybe I’ll see you more often” she giggles entering her building “get home safe well I don’t need to tell you that right “he watches as her laugh and body fades with the closing door.

“More often?” He questions himself turning on his heals back into the direction of the store. ‘Genos must be worried.’ He sighs look up at the sky. Today was a good day for once.

——

He laid there listening to her talk about how they met and how fate must be real based all the moments they ran into each other. “Some higher being wanting them together” is what she called it. But - little did she know…

Every day following that, Saitama found ways to run into Alexis, whether it was at the store the met- to which he learned she visited every day after work. Or if it was on the walk home from the store where he feigned coming from a different direction. Until it came to a point where she opened to him- she talked to him like they were friends- she called him her man so he didn’t understand why he would see other men coming over he place when he hung on the roof at night.

He didn’t understand why she would need to vent and want comfort from him when they would disappear and not call after their night together. Why couldn’t she just want him? Like she said? He removed everyone that wasn’t him- what was taking so long? Did she lie?

—-

“Remember that night you got drunk and called me?” He asks laughing lowly.

“Yes, please don’t remind me! you know I’m not a drinker.”

“Well, it was a good night for me” he shrugs

“I bet” she says sitting up and getting out of bed “come on let get something coffee”

—-

It was a good night - even though Alexis had called him seemingly drunk out of her mind beginning for him to pick her up while also screaming “I know the capped baldy; he will fuck all of y’all up” to the people in her background.

He picked her up and took her home, she asked him to stay- promising she’ll sober up after a shower. Leaving him alone he took the chance to finally explore her apartment, slowly making his way to her bedroom.

“Sai— “Alexis calls from the doorway of her room eying his hands on the handles of her underwear draw.

“I-uh” he stumbles over his words not knowing how to escape the situation. Instead, Alexis does it for him, dropping the towel and trailing over to him. His eyes were glued to her, body still dripping wet from the shower, her curls sticking to her face and her glossy brown eyes burning a hole through his forehead.

“Shut up and get on the bed” she says seductively pushing him back until he falls over on the bed. “Oh, I forgot to tell you- no outside clothes on my bed” in stiff motions he hand his pants around his ankles and was straddling his lap tugging his hoodie over his head. Throwing it into the corner she smashed her lips onto his, ��tell me if you don’t want this and I’ll stop right now”

Breathlessly, Saitama smashes his lips back together flipping them over, tugging his dick through the hole on his briefs, and sinking into her cunt.

To them, What felt like hours of him pounding into her, was only minutes. He hasn’t had sex in so long he came in 20 minutes, fill her cunt to the brim with her clenching so tight around him he thought his dick would break.

Standing to kick off his briefs, preparing for round two, he hears light snoring. Alexis fell asleep immediately after - he didn’t know if he should be insulted or proud. He threw a blanket over her and laid on the floor Next to her bed until the next morning - hopefully she doesn’t regret it

“SAITAMA!!” Alexis screams waking him to what could only be a nightmare, so he pulls the banker over him and pretends to sleep, maybe she’ll go away. “get your ass up” she yells kicking him and snatching the blanket clean off his body.

“Oh, hey good morning” he fakes a yawn and a stretch.

“Did you nut in me last night?!”

“You remember” he smiles lovingly

“Yes I remember Dumbass”

“I promise to take care of our baby” he sits up on his knees bowing.

“there's no baby dummy, I was just asking. but don’t do that shit again”

Lifting his head, he smiles and nods - watching Alexis as her ass giggles out the room knocking over a cup on the desk by the door. Knowing full and well he was going to do it again, anything to keep her by his side, she belonged to him now.

—-

snapping out of his thoughts he realized what she said and immediately throws the covers and jumps out of bed running behind her. “No coffee isn’t good for the baby”

“What fucking baby? Why do you keep saying that? Boy come on and stop playing”

#saitama #moot selfship #Happy Birthday Alexis 🤎#one punch man #one punch man saitama #Saitama x alexis

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alaskasmonsters · 3 years

Text

Gentle Hands | Shigaraki Tomura

with a quirk like shigaraki’s, physical touch had never been something another person had trusted him with. the fear of what he could do proved to be too great to get close enough. everyone was scared to touch him...everyone but you.

part two

pairing: shigaraki tomura x gn!reader

w.c: 3. 223

warnings: canon-typical violence, mentions of blood, descriptions of injuries, shigs is touch-starved :c

a.n: this took me way too long to turn out like this...i seriously don’t know what happened along the way but this was meant to go an entirely different direction...idek.

Shigaraki’s room was enveloped in darkness. The only source of light coming from where you had carefully cracked the door open after several unanswered knocks. It barely illuminated the small space inside, only revealing the silhouettes and rough placement of the furniture.

You’d never been inside of Shigaraki’s room before. There had never been a reason.

As the league’s personal medical support (or nurse, something Dabi liked to refer you to) you’d mostly only talked to any of them if there was an emergency that required your help. Then they’d meet you in the “living room” (you hesitated using homey words like that in connection to the hovel the members of the league had resided in the last few months).

Not that you didn’t get along with them, but you couldn’t really say you were particularly close with any of them. Criminals liked to keep their distance. Distance meant safety, it was the first rule in the handbook basically. Shigaraki was no different. He was the most mysterious of them you’d say, even more distanced with you it seemed. Saying there was no reason to grow attached to a NPC, like you were a dog that would be returned to their rightful owner soon anyway.

It didn’t bother you much. You knew the man needed his personal space, he had his reasons to be suspicious of new people, to be hesitant to let anyone too close...they all had.

That’s the price they paid in a life like that, or maybe they had already been like this before they ever became villains.

Entering Shigaraki’s room now and without permission was probably the closest you’ve ever come to being disintegrated, you thought as you carefully peeked inside. The guilt from intruding already crawled up your stomach. You wouldn’t normally do this, but you were worried after Kurogiri had told you about an “incident” this morning.

It had left Shigaraki badly injured and hiding himself in the darkness of his own four walls, since they had returned. Kurogiri hadn’t told you any details, but you could tell whatever happened had been bad, judging by his concerned tone when he’d requested you to look after the man. He asked you to heal him even if he were to refuse and you had agreed immediately, although you doubted you’d get close enough to Shigaraki if he didn’t want it.

The darkness was thick before your eyes, you could hardly tell the difference between the bed and the rest of the room. Not even the tv’s light was burning...you had expected Shigaraki to play a game if he really were as frustrated as Kurogiri had made it sound like.

The only reason you spotted a glimpse of where the man was located was due to the way the light reflected off the white strands of his hair. He was on the ground behind his bed.

“Shigaraki?” you called his name softly, not sure if he’d already noticed you or if maybe he’d fallen asleep.

You got no answer.

“Kurogiri sent me. Can I come in?”

You waited a minute, probably longer, but when there was still no answer you let out a heavy sigh.

“I’ll take that as a “I don’t mind either way”.”

You squeezed through the small space between the frame and the door, not daring to expose the man to more of the light he seemed to be so sensitive to. At least you guessed that that was the reason he was sitting in the darkness. Maybe he was just feeling emo, Shigaraki seemed the type.

You closed the door behind you, plunging the room into darkness again. This turned out to be a bad idea, since now you were both without sight and you had to slowly and carefully approach where you remembered the bed to be. You could only speak of luck you hadn’t bumped into anything before you made contact with the bedframe, using it to navigate closer to where you suspected Shigaraki to cower at, sliding down to sit on the ground as well.

You sat in silence for a while, making sure he didn’t want you to leave after all, but Shigaraki stayed quiet, the only sign he was still next to you was the sound of his ragged breathing.

You debated what would be the best approach. Should you scoot closer? Maybe you should start with telling him Kurogiri had sent you? Or maybe you could let the two of you stay in silence for a little while?

Approaching Shigaraki when he was in a vulnerable state was similar to a wild animal that had been injured. You had to be careful about it.

“You hurt your hands,” the words slipped your mouth.

Not careful enough.

Had you seriously gone with the worst approach you could have possibly chosen? Good job, Y/n!

Shigaraki didn’t curse you out so you guessed it was fine after all. Maybe his hands were off worse than you had initially thought...

“I want to fix them, if that’s alright but i’d need a little bit of light to do so,” you explained, keeping your voice quiet and calm.

There wasn’t an answer for several minutes. You started to grow restless, thinking that maybe you had overstepped a line, maybe it was better if you left again…

Before you could though you heard a grumbling agreement, barely audible, much closer than you had expected. A second later a dim light illuminated the small room.

You had to close your eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness before you could finally look at Shigaraki, who was sitting a few feet away from you, his back leaned against the matratze of his bed.

He looked miserable, his face was lowered so he couldn’t meet your eyes and his features were hidden by the messy white locks.

But what shocked you most was his hands. He had spread his fingers, palms up, on his lap so you saw the actual damage that the attacker had done.

His palms were blood-smeared, cut open, some cuts running so deep you thought you could see parts of the bone peaking out from between the damaged skin.

You felt bile rise up your throat at the view.

It looked painful, cruel. As if someone had tried to ruin his hands in the most painful way possible.

You inched closer, eyes trained on the damage.

Shigaraki tensed up as you scooted closer and you stopped immediately, looking up into his face, making sure you didn’t overstep again.

He was still avoidant of your eyes, shrunken in on himself with his shoulders hunched. He looked like a scared child to you...

“May I?” you asked him, desperately hoping he’d say yes.

His eyes only flickered between you and his hands once before he gave a soft nod.

You carefully reached out to grab the backside of his hands, meaning to pull them closer for you to inspect. The way Shugaraki froze at your touch made you pause and you realized with dread that you had forgotten to ask if it was okay to touch him. He must be in pain, of course he was.

You quickly removed your hands again, giving him a concerned look.

“I’m sorry Shigaraki-kun, did i hurt you?”

He frowned at your question, eyes quickly jumping between your expression and your hands just inches beneath his, waiting to reach out again if he’d allowed it.

He seemed conflicted for a second, but then he shook his head.

You chose not to question it, only giving a soft nod in response before reaching out again. This time you gently wrapped your fingers around his wrists instead, drawing his hands closer so you could inspect them better.

The light was still too dim to see the most gruesome parts of the injury, but even without it you could easily get an idea of what had occured.

The wounds were too deep, the blood that came out of the slashes in a dark flow...this wasn’t caused by a normal knife. Rather by another person’s quirk, one related to mutilation because how else would you describe the cruelty of the wounds inflicted.

It probably made it impossible to heal by itself, too.

Whoever did this had wanted to make Shigaraki’s quirk absolutely useless, damaging his hands beyond repair in the most cruel way.

And while you did know he’d caused a lot of pain with those hands, the idea someone had tried to mutilate them made you sick to your stomach.

You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down as you leaned down to hover just above Shigaraki’s hands.

Thankfully the league of villains had you and your quirk, seeing as you could heal almost everything, as long as the wound was still fresh and cells weren’t too damaged to manipulate.

Dabi had been the one to introduce you since he’d found you years before when you first started helping him with his unfit quirk. You weren’t a villain, only by association, but you’d always had a soft spot for difficult cases. You hadn’t been able to heal his scars then, since the cells were already dead and the injuries were old and your quirk wouldn’t let you revive anything. But you’d suggested to take care of all the newer wounds

Now you were working with the league of villains or maybe helped out was a better way to phrase it, considering the only method of payment you’d receive was fast food.

You focused your attention on Shigaraki’s injuries, leaning even closer to be able to see everything up close. It was necessary to use your quirk appropriately.

“Ready?” you asked, eyes searching for Shigaraki.

They were wide and attentive. He looked nervous if you had to guess, although he would have denied it if you had asked.

He gave you a nod and you smiled at him, giving his wrists a reassuring squeeze. You decided to ignore the way his eyebrows knit together at the gesture. You imagined he didn’t like touch very much.

You shift your attention to his left palm first, removing your hand from where they had gripped the man’s wrist to let it hover over the injured skin. The tell-tale sign of buzzing spread through your skin as you focused all your senses on the damage you’d been inspecting.

The sight of the cuts running oh so deep, the smell of iron stinging your nose, the feeling of broken and ruined skin and bones and muscles.

A green light, slowly growing brighter and bigger, more intense in color too formed and enveloped your hand. Your fingers inching closer and closer to the bloodied and ripped skin. Just right before your hand would touch his you stopped, the light now extending until it was enveloping his hand as well.

Shigaraki’s fingers twitched, his wrist tensed under your touch. You pressed down on the juncture to reassure him you’d hurry up.

You watched his skin pulling bac, his hands shaking a little when you concentrated on repairing the muscles that have been torn apart before.

It was a slow process, you knew that. You were known for officiency not speed, after all. And you were aware it hurt, probably just as terrible as when the blade had ripped through his skin in the first place. Regenerating injuries like this would usually take weeks and months, a dozen operations and it still would never go back to the way it once was. Doing it your way, basically forcing the cells to regenerate, speeding up the natural process and enhancing it...it took energy from both you and him.

His breathing was ragged, his arm was shaking in your grip, more intense than before and you hated it, hated knowing he was hurting and you couldn’t do anything to make the process go smoother for him, make it hurt any less.

All you could think of was running your thumb over the inside of his wrists, trying to reassure him like that. Trying to signal him that it would be over soon.

You didn’t know if it helped but you certainly felt his body freeze up for a moment. Maybe that was just because of the procedure though.

You watched the skin grow over again, slowly, and leave behind a slightly bloodied but smooth skinned palm. Shigaraki sank back into his seat, letting out a small huff as the pain stopped.

You took the time to inspect his palm, letting your fingers glide over the smooth skin and noting how it all seemed to be back to how they were originally with joy.

“Does your left hand feel okay? Flex your fingers a little.”

When he stayed still you looked up, Shigaraki’s gaze already focused on your face. There was something unreadable in the way he looked at you. He almost looked confused.

You bit your lip, glancing between his hands and his face as dread slowly rose in your stomach.

“You can flex your fingers...right?” you asked nervously.

What if you made a mistake? What if you messed up with his muscles?

Shigaraki’s finger twitched, before he bent them. Spreading them apart before creating a fist. You quickly pulled your hand away to leave him the room to move around a little, returning to tap his skin once more when you saw he was done.

“You feel that?” you asked, less nervous now that you knew that he could still move it.

The only answer you got was a grunt but that’s all you needed.

You moved on to his right hand then. Clasping his wrist with one hand to stabilize him and raising your other just above his palm. You repeated the procedure once more, green light enveloping both your hands as your face was set into a deep frown of concentration.

You stroked his wrist with your thumb once more as soon as you felt Shigaraki tense up again.

He was trembling even harder this time and you couldn’t tell if it was only because he was already exhausted or because this hand had been through more damage.

All you could feel was that the level of damage must be similar, the time it took you to fix the connections of the muscles felt about the same. Then his skin grew over slowly.

You repeated your check up, smoothing your fingers over the skin of his palm and telling him to flex his fingers. He reacted quicker this time, clenching and unclenching his fist a few times.

You gave his wrist a last squeeze before you let go, satisfied and happy you’d done a good job. Of course you wouldn’t know for sure until a few days later when Shigaraki was able to tell you if his hands were giving him any problems. But for now Shigaraki looked a lot better.

His pale face had filled with a little bit of color again, although his eyes were weirdly unfocused as he lowered his head to inspect his hands. You watched him in confusion, as he flexed his fingers again. Wasn’t he sure if you’ve done a good job? Did he feel pain?

“Is everything alright? Wait, lemme see again.”

You leaned forward, softly gripping his hands to pull them closer to inspect once more. Shigaraki froze up at the contact again and you frowned when you saw that the skin was all smooth and fixed, giving no reason for the man to act so tensed up.

You searched his eyes, only finding him already staring at you with an undefinable look in his eyes. You were just about to open your mouth to ask him about it. Not necessarily why he was acting so weirdly, but more specifically what haunted him.

Before you could do that, he surprised you with pulling his hands back before opening his palms which were facing upwards.

You watched in confusion.

He stretched his fingers, raising his hand upwards. The motion made you cock your head to the side. He was looking at you with narrowed eyes, clearly expecting something from you. Thinking you knew what he tried to ask of you you placed your hand on top of his, noticing him spreading his thumb apart to not touch you with all five of his fingers.

Shigaraki searched your face for a reaction but you didn’t know what kind of reaction that was supposed to be.

“I knew you were kinda crazy but that’s another level.”

“Excuse me?” you gaped at him.

“Only a crazy person wouldn’t be afraid to touch me.”

Gears started turning in your head and your cheeks heated up at the realization that that had been the reason why he’d frozen up. He wasn’t used to touch. He had been probably overwhelmed having your hands all over him.

“Oh...I guess I trust you wouldn’t disintegrate my hands.”

He raised an eyebrow at you.

“I’m useful aren’t i? Maybe I'd be more worried about a foot or knee cap but I kinda need my hands for the healing.”

He hummed in agreement, seemingly satisfied knowing you weren’t a total moron.

Although to be quite honest you weren’t so sure if you’d flinch from his touch even if it was directed towards your face. You didn’t know if you had it in you to mistrust him. When it had come to this point you didn’t know, somewhere along the way you had just stopped questioning your growing positive feelings towards the leader of the league of villains (and the other members as well).

Sometimes you liked to think both of you had mutual respect for each other. Enough to not randomly disintegrate the other person, that was.

“I’m sorry i made you uncomfortable, though. I should have asked beforehand.”

He snorted, fingers flexing under your grip, bending to run them over the palms of your hand.

“I don’t mind,” he muttered.

You didn’t think it was all he had wanted to say, but whatever else tried to leave his mouth was held back by Shigaraki biting his lip. You didn’t question it.

The man continued exploring your skin and you spread your fingers a little wider to give him more access. It was fascinating to you, how curiously he was exploring your skin, like a small child eager to experience new sensations. He had cocked his head to the side, eyeing you from beneath his hair, calculating, waiting.

He reached for your hand and you let him. Let him grip and turn it, until he could easily intertwine his fingers with yours, hesitant and careful to touch you, mindful to spread his pinky to not touch your skin.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the gesture, curiously glancing up at the man that was so hesistant with physical touch usually.

“Shigaraki-kun?”

He shook his head, eyes focused on your hands

“Tomura.”

You smiled, surprised but satisfied for some reason.

“Tomura,” you whispered, closing your grip around his hands.

Taglist: @crystal-lilac

#shigaraki tomura #bnha #mha #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki oneshot #shigaraki tomura oneshot #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki tomura fluff #bnha oneshots #bnha fluff #mha fluff #mha oneshot #bnha x reader #mha x reader

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rezzyromance · 3 years

Note

Idk if you like hurt/comfort stuff but this idea has been living in my head rent free for the last week and I just have to tell someone about it. Heisenberg overworks himself and gets sick (idek if that can happen but I don’t care) and the reader goes to take care of him and he just gets so soft because no ones ever cared about him like that before and just 💕💕💕💕💕

Yess I love this!!

Taking care of Heisenberg while he's sick. (Heisenberg x GN! reader)

(Tw: hurt/comfort) He couldn't even focus his eyes on his work anymore. He was surrounded by notebooks filled with notes, ideas, blueprints, and god knows what else. He had been working nonstop for two months trying to perfect a new creation to add to his metal army. But this whole time he's come face to face with failure and malfunction. He was only working on a just a few hours of sleep. Sleep that he had accidentally fallen into. Now, he was hunched over at a desk. Sweaty, shivering, exhausted, and fighting a nasty cough that echoed through the whole factory. It was so loud even you could hear it.

You left him alone to do his work while you spent some alone time with yourself. You were lonely and worried, but he could get pretty irritable when working so you didn't want to interrupt him. You were laying on the bed that you two usually shared, attempting to take a nap, but the loud echo of Karl coughing his lungs out kept you up. "That's it.", you groan to yourself as you stand up and make your way to his office.

Once you made your way to his office and opened the door, you were greeted with an ugly sight. He had his elbows on his desk with his face in his palms. His hair was matted and greasy and his skin was pale and covered with a sheen of sweat. "What do you want?", he asks with hoarse and weak voice. "Oh Karl..", you're shocked at the state he's in. You walk over to him and take a look at his desk. There were scattered pieces of paper, some were balled up. "I'm working.", he said in a blunt tone. "No you're not. Karl you're in no shape to work right now... this last journal passage doesn't even make sense!", you point at his journal. He had written an entry, but the words slowly became scribbling messes that vaguely resembled letters.

"When's the last time you slept? Or showered? Or had something to ea-" "Did you come in here just to talk shit?" he cut you off before you could finish. "Karl I'm worried. I didn't want to interrupt you but I heard your coughing and.... you really need to rest. I love you and I don't like seeing you like this. You can't even work like this." He was silent until he started coughing again. It was a really nasty cough and when he was done he gave a deep sigh. "You're sick Karl. C'mon.", you started gently rubbing your back. The feeling sent tingles through his feverish body. "Let's get you cleaned up, get you something to eat and drink, and then you can get some real sleep.", you tried to persuade him. He was quiet again. "..fine", he said before he started to stand. His legs were shaky and his vision blurred. You grabbed his arm, scared of him falling. "I'm okay.", he says as he places his hand on yours. You then began to walk with him as he stumbled to the bathroom.

You started to fill the tub with warm water. "I can bathe myself.", he says after coughing again. "You're weak Heisy. Just let me take care of you okay? I wanna make sure you're okay." He didn't fight your words. Once the tub was filled, he began to strip. You took his dirty clothes from the floor and took them to the laundry room, setting them to the side to clean later. When you came back to the bathroom, you saw him laying down in the tub, nearly asleep. "Don't drown on me.", you joke as you grab a rag. His eyes opened at the sound of your voice. You soaked the rag in warm water and began to rub his forehead with it. His brow furrowed at the sudden sensation. "You don't have to do this.", he says, worried that he's become a burden. "I know. But I want to.", you continued to gently rub his face. Next came his hair which you wet by gently pouring water from a bucket. Then, you started shampooing his hair, massaging his scalp in the process. He felt like he was melting under your finger tips. His sickness mixed with the heat from the water made his brain feel foggy, and your touch made it all feel like heaven. He still didn't understand WHY you wanted to care for him. He opened his eyes and gazed into yours, the question still lingering in his head. You responded with a warm smile and a kiss on his forehead.

After the bath, you brought him some new, fresh clothing. "Come on. You're laying down and nothing's gonna change that.", you begin to lead him to the bedroom, taking a towel with you. "Yes ma'am.", he says as both a joke and not. Once he sat up in the bed, you straddled his lap and began to gently dry his hair with the towel. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer, resting his face on your stomach as you continue to dry his hair. Once you're done, you cast the towel to the side and hold each side of his face in your hands. "Am I gonna make it, doc?" he says with a cheeky grin. Finally, he started to look more like himself. "I'll do my best. I'm gonna go fix up some soup. Don't die while I'm gone.", you say as you hop off the bed and make your way out of the room.

He had gotten comfortable under the covers while you were fixing some food. He stared up at the ceiling, a million thoughts racing at once. "Why are they taking care of me? Why are they putting in this much effort? " There was only one answer. One answer that was so overwhelming. No one was there for him like this before. No one went out of their way to make sure he was okay, especially dealing with his stubbornness before hand. His eyes began to burn as tears started to form. He immediately began rubbing his eyes, refusing to let himself be anymore vulnerable than he already is.

You made your way back to the room with a tray that helped you carry a bowl of soup and a glass of water. "I hope it's good. I don't cook often but I tried my best.", you say before handing the tray over to him. "You're spoiling me, buttercup.", he says as he takes you by the hand. He wasn't sure of what he was doing. He just wanted to holding your hand for a second. "Spoiling you? I'm making sure you don't work yourself to death. You've already managed to make yourself sick." He laughs quietly which triggers another cough. He sat up and started to enjoy his meal while you sat beside him, resting your chin on his shoulder. You could feel his body still shivering, but not as bad as before. "Please don't ever do that again.. I mean I understand how important your work is, but I don't want to see you get hurt. You need to take care of yourself. You're important Heisy. And I love you.", Your words made him freeze. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He took a deep breath and swallowed his pride for a second. "I love you too.", his words were quiet but genuine. You knew he wouldn't like it if you made a big deal out of it, so you didn't. Instead, you smile and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. He knew you loved him. It took him until now to truly believe it, but now he knew.

#re8 #resident evil village #karl heisenburg x reader #karl heisenberg headcanons #karl heisenberg headcanon #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg fanfic

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teenwolffan-with-nolife · 3 years

Text

Needed You

Word Count: 1,551

Characters: Isaac Lahey, Reader, mentions of OC Characters

Pairings: Isaac Lahey x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, possible cliffhanger idk?

A/N: pls send requests for isaac i missed writing for him

A/N 2: bro wtf was this ep of TFAWS idek what I have to say abt it-

A/N 3: part two?

Masterlist

You leaned against your locker, watching as Isaac ran down the hallway with his new friends, passing by you once again, without even noticing. He had a big smile on his face, which was never unusual, even through all his pain and hardships he always managed to stay happy. But this smile was different. It was more of an evil smile, something that made you uncomfortable.

That was only a small change of what happened with Isaac. New friends, new clothes, new attitude. If it wasn't for his hair, you wouldn’t be able to recognize the boy in front of you. Someone who used to be your best friend, who you’d rely on for everything, someone that you were there for.

As time went on, you had only assumed you would never lose Isaac. The bond the two of you had was unbreakable. Or so you thought. Your mother used to crack jokes about you marrying Isaac, due to the bond you had with him. You’d never felt that way about anyone else.

Your mind ran past the thought of your mom as you clenched your jaw, taking a deep breath. Your mother was gone, had been for a while. But not that anyone knew.

You sniffled softly, before hearing the bell ringing, while you entered the classroom.

“Partner up,” you heard your teacher say.

You kept your head down, before seeing the shadow of someone sitting next to you.

“Partners?” you heard Isaac's voice as you sighed softly.

“Actually…” you started.

“Oh, c’mon we both know that you don't like anyone else,” he instantly began to tease you as you rolled your eyes, annoyed.

He was trying to act as nothing happened, and that he didn't spend all those past months ignoring you completely.

“Fine,” you replied softly.

You rested your head on your hand before looking at the board, doing the assignment.

---

“Are you scared?” Isaac's voice was small as the two of you stood in front of Beacon Hills High.

“No, are you?” you lied, looking up at the building.

“No,” he replied.

“Are you lying?” you asked.

“Yeah,” he sighed.

You reached for his hand, before taking a big breath.

“It’s okay, Isaac. Remember, we’ll always have each other, right?” you asked softly.

He nodded his head, before the two of you gave a small smile to each other, before opening the door, entering your new school for the first time.

---

“(Y/N)!” Isaac ran down the hall, making his way to you as you scratched your forehead, before turning around to face him.

“Yeah?” you asked.

“I went by your house last night? You didn't tell me you moved?” he asked, frowning slightly.

You dug your nails into your palms before nodding your head.

“I live with my uncle now,” you replied.

“Your uncle? I thought you hated your uncle,” he replied.

“He’s not that bad,” you muttered, opening your locker.

“Well, you told me that he has a drinking problem. And he gets scary and mean,” your eyes watered slightly before you rubbed them away.

“I don’t really have a choice,” you said.

“Why not? What about your mom?” he asked.

“I have to go to class, Isaac,” you closed your locker, taking a deep breath before you walked away from him.

---

“Isaac?” you knocked at his door, walking in slowly as he wrapped his arms around himself, rocking slightly.

The lights were off, you could barely make out his figure.

“Isaac,” you walked further into his room, turning on a lamp next to his bed while he flinched.

“Sorry,” you walked to him, putting your hand on his shoulder.

“My mom-” his voice broke as you wrapped your arms around him.

“I know, I know,” you pressed a kiss to his forehead, rocking with him slightly before he buried his head in your arms.

“I want her back,” he cried softly.

You buried your face in his hair, resting your head on top of his as he cried softly, clinging onto you tightly.

“Please don’t leave me,” he whispered.

“I’m not gonna leave you, Isaac. I’m right here,” you continued to caress his back, before the two of you laid down onto his bed, continuing to hold each other before slowly drifting off to sleep.

---

“(Y/N)!” you poked your head up, hearing someone calling your name from outside your house as you frowned.

You walked towards your window, seeing Isaac standing in the backyard.

“Isaac, what the hell are you-” you started.

“Open the window!” he yelled.

You raised an eyebrow, slightly confused as you opened the window, waiting a minute before he climbed in.

You immediately took notice to his bruises and cuts as you gasped, leading him to your bed.

“What the hell happened to you?!” you yelled.

“Keep it down! I don't want your mom to hear!” he whispered loudly.

You looked out the door, before closing it.

“D-Did you get into a-a fight or something? Oh my god,” you ran to your bathroom, grabbing your first aid kit.

His eyes instantly watered.

“This is gonna sting,” you pressed the alcohol wipe to his wound, hearing him wince.

“What happened to you?” your eyes began to water as you looked at his broken figure.

“M-My… My dad. H-He just got s-so mad, and…” he couldn't finish his words before he bit his lip, taking a shaky breath.

You felt your heart drop as you continued cleaning his wounds.

“Isaac…” your voice broke.

“I messed up, really, really badly,” he cried softly.

“No, i-it’s not your fault. God, we need to tell my mom, she can help,” you started, reaching for your door.

“No!” he ran to you, pulling you back.

“Isaac!” you started.

“No! You can’t tell anyone,” he shook his head.

“What? Isaac…”

“No! (Y/N), please. I’m begging you just please don't say a word to anyone,” he cried softly, holding your hands.

“H-How am I supposed to help you?”

“I don't need you to help me. I just need my best friend to be here for me,” his eyes were bloodshot as you cried softly.

You nodded your head, before wrapping your arms around his shaking figure.

“Can I spend the night?” he asked.

“Of course you can,” you sniffled.

He nodded softly, as you led him to your bed, laying down with him.

---

“Why do you keep running away from me? (Y/N),” you wiped the tears from your eyes as you continued walking, hearing Isaac calling behind you.

“I had a really long day. I just want to go home, Isaac,” you replied, trying to hide your feelings.

“Why do you keep ignoring me?” you clenched your jaw, exhaling harshly as you continued walking.

“(Y/N)!” he yelled.

You froze, before letting out a frustrated sigh, turning to face him as his face dropped slightly.

“Why are you crying?” he asked softly.

“I just need you to leave me alone,” you shook your head.

“(Y/N)-”

“Stop, Isaac! Stop acting like we’re friends again! Stop acting like everything can go back to normal and we’re friends after you spend months avoiding me!” you yelled, taking him by surprise as he jumped slightly.

“I know, but-”

“There’s no but! All I want is for you to leave me alone, so why can’t you just do that?” your tears were falling freely as he kept quiet, unsure of what to say.

“I just wanted things to go back to before. I thought if I acted like nothing happened, we would be okay,” he said softly.

“It’s too late to pretend nothing happened,” your voice broke as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“Isaac, I've been by your side for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been there for you whenever you needed me. B-But…” you could barely make it through your sentence before your voice wavered.

“I needed you when my mom died but you just avoided me. And you kept avoiding me a-and ignoring me. You made me feel like I didn't matter to you, that our friendship meant nothing. That hurt. I don’t need you coming back here and making all that pain come back,” you cried softly.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N). You have to believe me, I-I wanted to be with you, I wanted to be by your side but I couldn't. I can’t explain and I know it sounds so shitty and I know what I did to you was terrible,” he stroked your cheek softly, looking down at you.

“I can’t explain how sorry I am or how much you mean to me. I-I need you as much as you need me. Please, just-” you moved away from him as he paused.

“I need you to leave me alone. I don’t need you in my life,” you saw his tears falling from his eyes as your heart began to ache more and more.

“I have to get home, I’m running late,” you sniffled, before you wiped your eyes.

“Goodbye, Isaac,” you walked away from him as he stood frozen, holding back his cries.

Your heart felt like it could leap out of your chest as you ran down the street, holding in your cries.

You knew you needed him, but you couldn't go through that pain, not again.

#teen wolf #teen wolf text #teen wolf fic #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf angst #teen wolf fics #isaac lahey #isaac #isaac lahey imagines #isaac lahey one shot #isaac lahey imagine #isaac lahey angst #isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey x platonic!reader

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eisukevint · 3 years

Text

Always You

Eisuke Ichinomiya

This one’s for you @leoamber66 - i should be ashamed of myself for taking this long but here we are! your graduation and your birthday gift. and a massive thank you to @cupidocherie for major help bec idek where i would be without her😭😭 anyways enjoyyy, i love you <3

»»»»

“Do you remember the first time we met?”

“You mean when you tripped and almost fell in front of everyone on your first day in elementary school?”

“No! oh my god, I told you to forget that!”

“Pftt, how can anyone ever forget that? I’m sure soryu and luke remember too”

“I hope they don’t haha, but really, we’ve come so far” Yuki commented, reminiscing about one certain day.

Eisuke’s POV

“So children, today a new student will be joining us. This is Yuki Freya. I hope all of you will be nice to her and welcome her warmly!” The teacher, Miss Hale as she introduced herself, addressed the class.

“Yuki, you’re going to sit with Eisuke. Please raise your hand so she can know where you are, Eisuke!” Miss Hale announced.

The clumsy girl, Yuki, made her way over to me earning several stares from both girls and boys present in the classroom.

“Hi, i’m Yuki!” She enthusiastically said extending her hand towards me.

I shook her hand, “Eisuke”

“Nice to meet you!” She said and then turned towards the teacher as she started her lesson, not giving me a chance to reply.

At least her smile is cute.

»»»»

Yuki didn’t follow me around like the other girls in my class did. Instead, she became friends with Luke and Soryu who happened to be my best friends. They seemed to like her a lot. Now that was rare.

It was P.E. and the teacher partnered me with Yuki despite the other girls begging him to partner them up with me. I didn’t complain considering she wasn’t annoying like the others.

“Are you ready?” She asked me tying up her left leg with my right one, preparing for the three legged race. Why is this even a thing? Couldn’t we just race like normal people?

“Of course I am” Eisuke Ichinomiya is always ready.

It didn’t take long for me to come off my high horse when Yuki couldn’t keep up with my fast pace and fell down, twisting her ankle.

Yuki groaned in pain and tried to get up but failed. The P.E. teacher came forth and asked me to carry her on my back to the infirmary as a punishment which was just across the field.

“But it’s not my fault that she fell!” I retorted back despite knowing it was partly my fault she fell since I was moving too fast for her.

“She was your partner Ichinomiya, it’s your responsibility.”

“Fine” I said when I realised there was no getting out if it. With that, i asked her to get on my back and carried her to the infirmary.

As the nurse tended to her injury, she turned towards me with that same cute smile “Thank you, Eisuke”

I instantly felt a stab of guilt.

“Hmph, I didn’t do it for you” I didn’t notice the blush that crept on my cheeks but I did notice the way my heart flipped. Just as she was about to say something, Soryu and Luke came looking for her.

“Are you alright?” Luke asked to which she replied with a grin and swinging her leg back and forth.

“Never better!”

Seriously how can someone be so cute.

»»»»

high school

The murderous intent was evident in my eyes as I gazed at Yuki laughing at something the principal’s cockroach son said.

In the beginning, Frank tried to befriend me but I felt something was off and eventually it became very clear to me that he only wanted me to be a handy tool in his pocket ready for emergencies, so I shook him off pretty quickly. Somehow, Frank’s always lingering around me. He’s always loved to single me out whenever I express disinterest in something, in hopes that others would join in. Instead, the girls that fawn over me often tell him to shut up and then they’re confronted by his fangirls and in the end, it’s just a massive cat fight.

He’s nothing but trouble. As the principal’s son, he’s quite popular, almost as popular as me, and he can pretty much get away with anything. Luckily for him, he’s very sly. Hiding behind his minions, he’s never once flat out done anything. Good with underhanded remarks, letting other people take all of the blame, coercing them into doing what he wants. His little groupies pay no heed to any of this, all because he’s handsome. But there’s a large group of people who don’t like him, but nobody has ever said anything straight to his face, thanks to his feared status.

There were rumours earlier this year that on Valentine’s Day, Frank asked Yuki out but she told him that she wanted to focus on school. I’m surprised Frank didn’t get angry at her and punch a wall or something. That sounds like something he would usually do. While I’m proud of Yuki for turning him down, part of me hopes that what she said was just a lie she made up so she could just get away from him. But now, Frank and Yuki are partners on this project, I’m convinced this teacher is trying to set those two up. Soryu, who was partnered with this over-zealous girl looked as if he would smash either his own head or the girl’s if she didn’t stop with her chattering. I’ve been paired up with Luke, unfortunately I’ve been neglecting our work because keeping an eye on Yuki has become too much of a priority. I hate how he gets too close to her, the way he continues to flirt with her and the smug look that’s plastered on his face when he realises that I’m watching. All Luke can do is sigh and shake his head at me.

“I’d gladly switch with Yuki if I didn’t have to put up with him, Eisuke...”

“Hey watch out, you’ll hurt yourself!” Yuki yells, pushing him away before she yelps in pain, drawing her hand back.

For a split second, it’s like I can only see red. I march right up to their desk, in close proximity to the two only to see a red mark across Yuki’s hand. It looks painful. If Frank hadn’t been so careless then Yuki wouldn’t have gotten hurt. What were you thinking!? Why do you need to care so much about everyone else!?

“Oops, I’ll take you to the infirmary.”

“No, I’ll take her.”, I sternly tell Frank. Yuki insists it’s not too big of a deal and that she’s fine.

“Hmph, alright. I’ll make it up to you another way then, Yuki.”

“You don’t need to. Stay away from my girl.” I felt Yuki tense up beside me the moment those words left my mouth. Thinking nothing of it, I took her dainty uninjured hand in my right one and pulled her along with me towards the infirmary. Yuki, being the obedient and polite girl she was followed without a hint of refusal.

Upon our arrival to the medical department of the school, the nurse immediately treated Yuki’s injury. As I gazed at the familiar scene before my eyes, a certain memory played in my head.

“What’s with you and infirmaries?” Were the words that came out of my mouth the very second the school nurse disappeared, probably went back to her office.

She whipped her head towards me, a tiny smile adorning her graceful features. Adorable giggles escaped from her mouth indicating that Yuki too was reminiscing about that particular day.

“You’re too amiable for your own good.” I chuckled, moving to sit into the chair where the nurse was not long ago and grabbing her hand with the nasty burn on it.

“How dare he ruin your precious soft skin like this” Placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand, I held onto it as I stared deep into her gorgeous blue eyes.

“Is it true you rejected him?” She stared back, cocking her head a little bit to her left at the question, confusion etched on her face.

“On Valentine’s Day, I heard he confessed to you but you turned him down, saying you wanted to focus on your studies. Is that true?” Her face lit up upon remembrance but an almost gloomy expression took over right after.

“Ah...yes, now that you mention it” I squeezed her hand a little tighter but not tight to enough to hurt her as I waited for her to continue.

“That’s only half true though..”

What?

“I also told him I like someone else.”

Oh.

I immediately loosened my grip on her hand.

So that’s why. Heh, what were you even thinking Ichinomiya?

Yuki glanced over to me, fidgeting in her seat with nervousness.

“Won’t you ask who it is?” This time, she grabbed my hand and lightly tug on it preventing me from standing up, causing her to hiss in pain.

“Does it even matter?” I sighed, patting her hand lightly with that flicker of hope in my heart slowly diminishing. As I was about to get on my feet a second time, she said those words which haltered my every movement, completely catching me off guard. Words i’ve wanted to hear for the longest time now from a certain girl I adored more than anything.

“It’s you, Eisuke.”

Good Lord.

“It’s always been you.”

Will I survive if my heart continues to beat this fast every time i’m around her? I’ll have to ask Luke later.

“Eisuke?” Yuki peered at my astounded face snapping me out of my daze. When I look back at her, I thought I could resist just pulling her into my arms and claiming her as mine but boy, was I wrong. I immediately grabbed her chin and captured her silky lips in a somewhat soft and gentle kiss. Laying every emotion bare into our first kiss, Yuki loosely wrapped her arms around my shoulders as she kissed me back with equal passion. We parted and just sat there basking in the pleasure of being in each other’s arms until I decided to break the comfortable silence since a significant amount of time had passed and we needed to go back to the lab.

“You’re mine and I won’t allow you to leave me.” She hummed in response and with a little peck on her lips, I pulled her up with me and exited the infirmary.

Our fingers intertwined perfectly as we walked back to the class feeling oddly at peace - mind, body and soul.

»»»»

“And Soryu teased us so much when we went back to class! But no one was surprised, I mean we were kind of inseparable...” Yuki said bashfully, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. The diamond of her engagement ring caught the light of the setting sun.

“It’s because they knew you were mine.” Professing my undying love for her, I place a fierce kiss on her lips imagining a bright future with my one and only,

“Always have been and always will be.”

•••

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