#i'm a law abiding citizen no arson here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fand0mh03 · 1 year

Text

Ahs Coven incorrect quotes

Queenie: Oh, here’s my award for the most rules broken! Cordelia : That’s not an award, it’s an angry letter from our boss. Queenie, hanging it on their wall: Well, it has the word ‘most’ in it, so I’m calling it an award!

Misty: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl. Cordelia : Okay. Misty: And make out during the scary parts. Cordelia : Th- Cordelia : The scary parts. Cordelia : Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Cordelia : Misty, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. Misty , wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

Misty: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat. Madison: I don’t usually eat with losers. Misty: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

Queenie: Hello friends! The Squad: Queenie: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling

Madison: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby? Madison: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us. Cordelia : I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

Zoe : Go fuck yourself. Maddison : Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!

Cordelia: Alright, listen up you little shits. Not you Mallory . You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

Maddison: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers. Zoe: Maddison, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.

Madison: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

*at a zoo* Zoe : What are they in for? Cordelia : Zoe , this isn't prison. Zoe : So they can leave? Cordelia : No, but- Zoe , pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

Cordelia: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Mallory: Even better! Cordelia: What the fuck did you- Mallory: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

Queenie: That shirt looks great, Maddison. Maddison: Thanks. Queenie: But I bet it would look even better on Zoe 's floor. Zoe : Are you hitting on Maddison... for me?

Cordelia: Truth or dare? Misty: Truth. Cordelia: How many hours have you slept this week? Misty: Misty : Dare. Cordelia: Go to sleep. Misty : I don't like this game.

Zoe : Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Misty: I'm a knife. Cordelia , from across the room: They're the little spoon

Misty: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Zoe : wHat?

Misty: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Zoe : Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Mallory: *Takes a sip of milk and gags*

Mallory: Oh my god, is this expired?

Mallory: *Takes another sip of milk*

Mallory, to the Squad: I’d die for you.

Queenie: Then perish.

Zoe : You will.

Cordelia : Please don’t.

Maddison: Cool.

Misty: I’d die for you first.

Misty: Remember, Madison, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Madison: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

Zoe : I have a new hoodie.

Maddison: Wrong.

Maddison: We have a new hoodie.

Madison: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Madison: Hopefully Queenie has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Queenie: Oh, shut up and die Madison.

Mallory: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Queenie: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Misty: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?

Zoe : Bees?

Misty: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!

Zoe : Wait-

*Mallory approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

Mallory: Misty... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Misty: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Mallory:

Mallory: I wrote sanitize, Misty.

Misty: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Madison: Theft.

Cordelia : Disturbing the peace.

Queenie: Aggravated assault.

Mallory: Arson.

Zoe : All of the above. In that order, probably.

Madison: There's no way they like me back.

Queenie: Zoe would throw themself in front of a moving car for you.

Madison: Zoe would throw themself in front of a moving car for fun.

#Ahs #ahs fanfic #ahs coven #ahs fandom #american horror story #queenie #madison montgomery #zoe benson #cordelia goode #misty day #mallory

20 notes · View notes

masterofdemise · 2 years

Note

hey! for the oc ask: 🍻, 🍫 and 🍩 for Fifionne, Persephone and Aidoneus :D

Oooh this will be fun. I'm glad you asked about Aidoneus because he's one of my all-time favourite OCs :D

🍻: What's your OC's favourite comfort ritual? How do they calm themselves down after a rough day?

Fifionne: When the day is rough, Fifi always remembers she can look to her fox companions for comfort. Either she'll head for the fox sanctuary if she's nowhere near her own fox, or she'll just spend some quiet time with her pet fox. People might suck but to Fifi, foxes don't.

Persephone: When Persephone is stuck in the Underworld, she'll tend to the very few plants that can be found in the Underworld (All in her own personal garden of course). If Persephone is in the overworld, she'll go clothes shopping (at the mall or online shopping) to take her mind off of the bad things that happened in the day.

Aidoneus: Aidoneus is not often one to be upset but when something does get on his nerve, he usually likes to read books to calm down. Hans and Faye (His adopted kids) are always able to tell if Aidoneus is upset so when they see him like that, they always go over to comfort him. It's not really Aidoneus's own comfort ritual but Hans and Faye keeping him company is always something that makes him happier.

Another regular comfort ritual of his is just observing architecture. He’ll visit show homes, temples, or just read about it in a book. Architecture is one of his favourite subjects after all. Knowing him, he would not be very happy with Beyblade Pluto for allowing not one, but two historical monuments in his possession to get destroyed. Aidoneus seems to value buildings over people ^^;

🍫: Where does your OC go to think?

Fifionne: The fox sanctuary or the mountains of Nasu (where the Sessho-Seki rock is). She seems to get her best ideas when she's around fox related items. She's just that foxy.

Persephone: Similar to where she goes to for her comfort ritual, she often heads to her own personal garden to think. That, or she often calls Elysse over magic phone call (or something like that) and she'll just brainstorm ideas during their conversations. So basically, it's either the plants or the magical facetime.

Aidoneus: When Aidoneus needs to think without distractions, he'll find a quiet area in his estate to focus, usually the library or his own personal altar/ritual room. (the room where he receives prayers since he is a deity). A lot of people think Aidoneus would head to the dream realm because of its connection to "illusions" but this is actually false. Aidoneus strongly dislikes sleeping and if he happens to accidentally fall asleep, he actually suffers from severe self-inflicted fatigue when he wakes up.

🍩: What's a crime your OC is most likely to commit? What's a crime they're most likely to get arrested for?

Fifionne: Assault, forgery, fraud, bribery, harrassment. She'll probably get arrested for assault and harrassment though.

Persephone: Bribery, cyberbullying, stalking, money laundering. She would be hard to arrest because she would probably just dip into the Underworld before she gets caught.

Aidoneus: Oh boy this is a long one. Here we go. He is mostly a planner so he doesn't commit most crimes himself. Technically, that is conspiracy but let's list all the crimes anyway.

Assault(Hans), Arson(Faye), Bribery/Blackmail, Burglary(Hans/Faye), Computer crime, almost any type of fraud/forgery, drug manufacturing/cultivation/possession/trafficking/distribution (He runs a scuffed and illegal pharmacy), embezzlement, extortion, homicide (Hans, Faye, Orcus), Identity Theft, kidnapping (Hans, Orcus), Manslaughter (Hans, Faye, Orcus), Money Laundering, Murder, Perjury, Pyramid Schemes, Racketeering, Robbery, Vandalism (Hans, Faye), and stalking.

Thankfully(but not really), he only commits crimes in the mortal realm. He's a nice law-abiding citizen in the Celestial Realm where all the deities live. He never gets caught because he lives up to his name very well (Aidoneus being a variation of Hades, which means "the unseen one"). Considering how long Aidoneus has existed for, it is no surprise that he has such a long list of crimes.

#oc #mfb oc #i love how all the ocs picked for the crime question are all so unworried about committing crimes #demise rambles #masterofdemise oc

4 notes · View notes