#i'm still reeling over the camellias.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

seelestia · 15 days

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OMG THE NEW NAVIA THEME IS SO CUTE??? i think it's safe to say that you definitely cooked, lia hehe >:3 /lh /gen

anyways! that's pretty much what it is when it comes to college and frankly? i just wanna get it over with like literally the only highlight to it is seeing my friends and spending time with my boyfriend 😭 but!! a social science major sounds cool! i'd say you have some pretty good goals set in mind and you can always take up a minor if you want to pursue the others :> (i did consider having music as a minor) and sure! the courses depend on what you pick really and the college/professor, online is just about the same as in-person if you have a lot of reading on a pc to do tbh. english classes are well. kind of like the ones in high school but college-leveled. just make sure you give yourself enough time to do assignments bc they can be painful :"D

HELP LMAO??? okay that's true though, the fontaine quest definitely made a splash and we really had to dip our toes in the water with it huh? anyway thats kind of the thing, the only similarity between bedo and lyney is that they actively flirt with me in their own way, and its funny bc i usually try to find someone whose personality complements mine bc im generally the quieter one compared to both (ah yes a reality tv show for me HJEKAHD) also yea! i think both of them really do have traits that make them stand out and frankly i wish they got more screentime (also i have yet to watch the 4.6 trailer ehehe)

same here to you!! i'm always happy to rattle off of your hcs and i enjoy talking about our selfships as well hehe (*^ω^*) and i love it when bedo calls me his "sweet violet",,like the way he says it is just so endearing? like the pitch of his voice always becomes softer and more affectionate jsjdksndj (yk its funny, my boyfriend does the same thing with me bc his nicknames are unique to me as well)

also i'm throwing another ramble at ya: imagine wanderer or ayato surprising you with breakfast in bed HEHEHEHE

awh thats oki! like i said, i'm always happy to indulge your selfships since i enjoy hearing about them :> /gen. honestly i wouldn't be surprised if wanderer did knock you softly on the head for thinking the flowers were from yato ajjdkshd (nah just put the hairpin in before he gets a chance /hj /lh) also i forgot to tell u im a sucker for floriography so i methinks wanderer could give you camellias which represent everlasting love. the hairpin ayato gives you is unique in design and had it specially made for you alone :3

and i quote from my irl friend: "bouncing off the walls gf x completely stoic unmoving statue bf" HDJAKDHSJ NOT ONLY THAT SHE COMPARED HIM TO A PIECE OF FURNITURE BC OF HOW STIFF HE IS IN PICTURES (but hey i give him credit for a cute smile <3) and he is very much a pretty boy even though he tries to deny it until i accept that he calls me pretty too BUT YEA QUITE LITERALLY OPPOSITES ATTRACT anyway pretty much, not all relationships are like yk. sunshine and rainbows so thats why i feel very grateful to have a healthy one. if anything, we're just both trying to do our best to make one another happy but thankies hehe (also nw! i dont think u sound like a grandma, i just like hearing u ramble ehhehe)

also im not rlly sure why ppl think 20 is old either like dang, sure my back hurts on occasion but i'm not a fossil 😭

AHHH THANK U, VI!! so it seems you agree that i... baked? :3c /lh HAHAHA navia is so sweet and silly. i just have to make her my theme! (++ as a homage to her for carrying me in spiral abyss 🫣) since i do put in effort whenever i do theme changes, it makes me happy to know others like it <3

i'll have you know that i'm a true enabler of dad jokes & puns. throw 'em at me! which reminds me: how does albedo react to your jokes? for me, ayato just thinks it's funny that i find them funny (he pats me on the head afterwards - A+ for effort). wanderer is just the epitome of unimpressed and sometimes, he'd even pull on my cheek a little if the joke is extremely unfunny LOLLL. the only one who'd ever indulge me is mr. shikanoin heizou ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡) oh, woe is me!!! /lh

i see! ty for the perspective, vi <3 i'm gonna find it nostalgic to look back on this convo after i went to college. tho assignments really are a staple of uni life, huh? one of the times i thank highschool for instilling the habit of “work first, play later” in me. i imagine it's gonna be more painful however so i'll need to juggle rest & work 😭 hope you're holding up with yours!! <3

THAT'S CUTE!! i find it so funny that albedo himself is the paradigm for introverts but when it comes to flirting with people he finds intriguing, he's not here to play LMAO. how does he act 〜suave〜 so naturally?? smh i need those skills too /hj. lyney on the other hand... he takes it as an achievement if he manages to fluster you! the sleight of the hand is his bread & butter but he's good with his words just as well, no? voila! ✧ i am biting my fist UWAGHH. i am head over heels for the 'speaks to you / says your name in a softer voice' thingy but to witness it first-hand??? i'm so happy for you 🤭

WWHWHWHWH. ayato usually has the maids prepare our meals so he probably tells them to make it extra special. unfortunately, i'm more of a night owl than an early riser so by the time he brings the tray onto the bed, i'm just looking at him all groggy LOL. he thinks it's cute, taps my cheek and teasingly asks if this is all a ruse to get him to spoon feed me.... this man /aff. wanderer tho is a good cook so he does not play around with food or breakfast! but it's gonna take lots of coaxing to have breakfast in bed since “if it spills on the mattress, i'll demote you to the floor for a day.” i tell him about the existence of trays but he's still adamant. no fun 💔 /j

CAMELLIAS?! those happen to be one of my fav flowers!!! and the meaning too... i'm ahhdjwjejw /pos. he would tho!! wanderer canonically like wandering off in nature (oh, dearest sumeru), i think he picks flowers to bring back home. but sometimes, he'd rather observe them from afar: they're fleeting, after all. so he might as well leave them be to bloom to their fullest. yk.... i should buy some seeds these days and make a garden of our own. maybe it could be a surprise for him oooooo mhm mhm!! wbu?? does albedo or lyney indulge in making you breakfast in bed too hehe :3c (for lyney, i'm willing to bet lynette sponsored that breakfast /j)

NOT THE FURNITURE POSE HAHAA 😭

“smile!”

vi: 🌸🌷🎀🩷

bf: 🚪🚪🚪

/j but we appreciate the effort!!! i'm also not vv photogenic myself so i can relate badly with the furniture pose LMAO 😔 i prefer taking pictures of others instead! ayato is really photogenic. this is what happens when you deal with paparazzi /j & wanderer can be photogenic too but only in candid. he does not like staring at the camera. what a grumpy cat /aff +++ i saw the picrew you sent me! VI IT'S SO ADORBS AHHHH feel free to share more picrews of you & your f/o's anytime! i love love love them ☆૮꒰ˊᗜˋ* ꒱ა /gen !!!!

#i'm still reeling over the camellias....#floriography >>>#ask box! 📬#visitor: dearest vi! 🍡#selfships! 🧸

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ayatoscupid · 1 year

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the camellia forms ripples on still waters

xueyato (xue yin (oc) x ayato) | 5k words | pre-established, retrospective, no warnings

note: xue yin is not a self-insert, but an oc (and a rom f/o!). he's ayato's secretary, and an adeptus. intro post to him here!

a/n: a look into how xueyato's relationship develops, set during preparations for irodori festival. this is the first work i ever wrote for this pair, and months later i still love it. so i hope you enjoy! also there's a part 2 that i'll post eventually lol. :p

Xue Yin emerges from his quarters just as the sun peeks between the clouds, making the flowers outside the Kamisato estate glisten with morning dew. It had been raining all night, though nothing like the rolling thunder and pelter of rain he's become used to during his stay in Inazuma. Rather, it was a light shower that served as background music to help Xue Yin sleep better after his eventful and eye-opening week. He had spent the past couple of days with the traveller from beyond, urging them to accompany him during festival preparations. What started off as a friendly hangout turned into a somewhat catharsis from his long withheld yearning. His yearning to come back home, to see his sister again.

It embarrassed him to let his emotions out, to say the least. He had only intended to show the traveller the ropes of the trade, to teach them a couple of things they could take on their journey. How to negotiate, how to persuade and reel their bait in. But the traveller was so kind and earnest when they had told him what they wished for at Amakane Island that he couldn't help but open up his heart a little, letting them catch a glimpse of his longing under the everblooming cherry blossom trees.

"I'm sure she misses you too," the traveller had signed, smile sincere, "And she would want to know how you've been."

"Yeah!" Paimon agreed, giving a vigorous nod of her own. "And now that the borders are opening up, maybe you can visit again!"

Xue Yin had finally come to the conclusion back at the Yashiro estate that he might return home, once the festivities have wrapped up. That even though it scared him to face Liyue after all the changes it's gone through without him, nothing will make him happier than seeing it again.

"Will you miss Inazuma?" The traveller asked, and the question made Xue Yin go quiet, staring out into the ocean to contemplate. With all the emotions running through his head just from that simple question, his answer was obvious.

"More than anything."

——————————

"Ah, Xue Yin."

Xue Yin smiles when he opens the doors, unsurprised to see Ayato already awake, tending to the papers at his desk. From the looks of it—the slight ruffle of his hair, the faintest of dark circles under his eyes, the way he's fiddling with his pen—he probably only slept for a couple of hours. While to any other onlooker, Ayato looks as pristine as ever, Xue Yin isn't just anyone. From the eight years he's worked with the Kamisato clan, Ayato in particular, he knows him like the back of his hand.

"Good morning, my lord." He says, bowing his head in greeting. "It'll be sunny out today, despite the rain that fell last night. You should be safe to go between meetings without an umbrella, but I advise you to take care walking around puddles. …And to take an umbrella nonetheless. Don't worry, I'll remind you in case you forget again."

Ayato laughs goodnaturedly, and anyone would think nothing of it—maybe they'd indulge in it a little, the lightness in his voice so rarely heard that only Ayaka, Thoma and Xue Yin have. But Xue Yin notices the edge in his voice, the slight shake of his hands, and frowns in worry. The festival preparations have been going smoothly, and everything seems to be falling into place. What could be bothering him?

"You seem on edge, my lord." He's not afraid to point out, walking over to sit on the other side of Ayato's table. He, again, notices Ayato pointedly looking away from him, the grip on his pen tightening as he tries to concentrate on the paper in front of him. "If there's anything that's not up to your expectations, I'll go out and have it fixed as soon as—"

"No." Ayato says abruptly, sitting up and looking startled at himself for interrupting. Through the worry, Xue Yin smiles fondly. It's always cute whenever Ayato becomes less composed than he usually is. "It's..."

But Xue Yin has a feeling he already knows what Ayato wants. "If you need, I can stay with you to work through our errands today."

Ayato looks up, embarrassment obvious in the tinge of pink on the tips of his ears, and Xue Yin has to bite back a laugh. As calculated as Ayato may be, always two steps ahead of everyone, Xue Yin is but a mere one step behind, making it much easier for him to fall into the same stride as him. All he needs to do is to step forward first.

"...Yes." Ayato chuckles. Xue Yin notices his hands have stopped shaking. "That's what I had planned for you."

"Then how could I say no, my lord?" Xue Yin laughs. "You need only ask if you want me to stay."

He stands up to fetch his own pen case from his room, and once far enough, doesn't notice Ayato's expression dimming, looking back down at his paper with a mumble.

"…I see…"

——————————

Paimon had asked Xue Yin during their time together why he was working for Ayato despite being an adeptus, and his answer was simple. Xue Yin has always been the type to repay people with his trust whenever they save him in times of need. His sister used to tease him for it, claiming he was always so quick to fall. Xue Yin would always say he just had the intuition, the ability to see people's intentions, and that there are more good people in the world than everyone seems to think. Ayato, of course, was no exception.

Xue Yin usually had no trouble traversing through the lands of Inazuma. He'd been to the nation close to a hundred times, having seen its changes (or lately, lack thereof) during the millennia he's travelled around Teyvat. But this particular visit was problematic—nothing seemed to go his way, not with all the thunderstorms and trouble stirring not only outside of Narukami Island. It seemed that treasure hoarders, Nobushi and the like had set camp between the city and towns as well. Usually, Xue Yin would wipe them out with a flick of his wrist, but his fatigue was proving to take a toll on him, and on this particular rainy night nine years ago, he had no choice but to skid left and sprint into Chinju Forest to rid the treasure hoarders at his trail.

He had lost them by the time he made it out, probably due to the pranks the bake-danuki decided to pull on them. He'd been in this forest enough times to not be fooled by those pesky creatures anymore. But no thanks to this detour, Xue Yin found himself on his last legs. He had planned to go to his accommodation in the city, but it was already dark, and his feet could no longer take him further than a mile. So Xue Yin hobbled over to the nearest shelter, his vision growing blurry as exhaustion surrounded him like a weighted blanket.

He had then woken up under one, the sun already high enough to blind his eyes as he sat up, trying to recognise his surroundings. Who saved him?

A man with blond hair slid the door open then and almost startled to see Xue Yin awake, careful to not jostle the tray in his hands. "Oh! You're awake." He had smiled, quickly regaining composure as he set the tray down next to him. "My lord found you just outside the estate last night, and you looked worse for wear, so he had you taken in. Luckily, you seem to be fine. I'm Thoma. You're currently in the Kamisato estate."

"So, that's it?" Paimon asked when he retold the story, a bewildered look on her face. "You became his secretary because he saved you once?"

"It wasn't just that, of course." Xue Yin had laughed, a particular softness in his expression that Paimon and the traveller side eyed each other for. If he noticed, he didn't say anything. "I heard whispers after I left the estate. It was almost the previous clan head's death anniversary then. All of these mumbles between the townspeople about how sorry they felt for Ayato, and how he had the whole clan's future resting on his shoulders. And yet he saved me and took me in."

Xue Yin sighed, looking out on the cliffside of Amakane Island to Inazuma city. "Thoma told me I could leave after breakfast, so I did. But I bumped into Ayato on my way out. Of course, I had to say my gratitude. He seemed tired, but so… earnest. Genuine and headstrong. I could feel the determination within him even in those brief seconds and upon hearing what had happened to him, I knew."

"Knew what?" The traveller asked, and Xue Yin laughed behind his hand.

"I'm sure you already know, dear." He winked, but nevertheless looked back out to the city lights, the yearning in his eyes hard to ignore. "I knew he was going to make it work, and I wanted to stand beside him to see him prosper."

——————————

"You tell me to stay beside you for work today, but I was hoping you would let me join your meeting with Lady Guuji, my lord." Xue Yin teases with ease as Ayato steps out of Uyuu Restaurant. Miko laughs behind her hand, mirth in her eyes, no doubt at hearing the Kamisato clan head being lightly jabbed. "I assume the meeting was more amicable than usual?"

"Your lord was slightly more agreeable today." Miko plays along, even though Xue Yin is sure they both sense the slight exasperation in Ayato's polite smile. "Have you finally managed to tame him?"

"I believe I wouldn't know how, even if I wanted to." Xue Yin chuckles, resisting the urge to beam when he feels Ayato squinting at him. "But it's alright, I think he's best this way."

"Ever the faithful secretary, hm." Miko sighs dramatically. "Shame, I can't help but feel jealous that your loyalty isn't directed towards me. You would fit right in with the Yae Publishing House."

"Well, I suppose that's just too bad, isn't it?" Ayato interjects, a little more bristled than usual as he slides an arm around Xue Yin's waist, making the other freeze for a second too long. Xue Yin carefully regains his composure. What's with him all of a sudden? "I know Xue Yin's one of a kind, but you'll just have to accept that I've taken him."

"How overprotective." Miko muses, a mischievous glint in her eyes. She says nothing more about her job proposal, though—and as friendly as they are with each other, Xue Yin wouldn't take her up on the offer no matter how hard she tried. He's sure all three of them know this. "Don't worry, I know full well where his loyalty lies. Sometimes it's nauseating to hear about."

"L-Lady Guuji!" Xue Yin stammers, composure breaking upon the sudden impact of Miko's teasing.

But Miko only laughs, of course, bidding the two goodbye and walking off before Xue Yin can even recover from the blow.

Ayato's silent, but his hand on Xue Yin's waist speaks thousands that Xue Yin feels he shouldn't process just yet. So instead, he reaches into his sleeve to bring out a small plastic bag. Two milk tea drinks sit in it, and he takes one out to hand to Ayato. "I stopped by Kiminami while waiting for you, and figured you needed one. You haven't had lunch yet, after all. Tomoki's currently situated at Ritou, so unfortunately I couldn't go to his store instead."

He would never say it out loud from how embarrassing it is, but Xue Yin has long since admitted to himself that one of the greatest joys in his long life so far is seeing Ayato's expression turn from calm and composed to pleasant surprise. The thought of surprising the cunning Yashiro Commissioner himself makes Xue Yin prouder than he can admit, and he can't even complain to himself at the sudden lack of warmth around his waist as Ayato takes the drink. He can never complain, not when he can see Ayato quirking up a youthful smile before taking a sip. "How attentive of you, Xue Yin."

Xue Yin finally lets himself beam then, all bright and unabashed. The brief tension in Ayato's shoulders goes unnoticed as they make their walk back to the estate.

Tens of proposals signed and a few meetings set at the estate later, and Xue Yin finds himself a rare break in the late afternoon. He reserves his breaks for walks around Narukami Island or for tending to his flowers, but his recent workload means the garden hasn't been tended to for a while, which is a shame. Ayato has some more work to do, but surely he wouldn't be opposed to Xue Yin taking a rest from duties, right?

"Wait—" Ayato stands, almost knocking over his papers in the process. He's been on edge for the entire day, Xue Yin notes in mild worry. From staying by his side, they've gone through their work quicker than usual, so he thought the company and decreased workload would help ease Ayato's sudden nerves. He's worried now, seeing that it hasn't.

"Yes, my lord?" But nevertheless, Xue Yin stays composed, because he knows pushing wouldn't provide anything helpful.

"...Would you mind," Ayato breathes out, as if choosing his next words carefully. Which he usually does, of course, but not as obvious as he is right now, "If I joined you?"

"...In tending the garden?" Xue Yin blinks, unable to hide the bewilderment in his voice. It's known throughout the estate that Ayato barely has any free time, and he would prefer if he didn't. If there was something he could do that mattered more and better impacted the clan and Commission as a whole, he would spend all of his time doing it if he could, because it was his duty, and it was what he loved doing most. Ayato proposing to join Xue Yin when he still has papers left to tend to is… unheard of, to say the least. "My lord, you still have papers to sign…"

"What good will signing those papers do if I'm far too tired to read through them properly?" Ayato points out as he walks up to Xue Yin, obvious to the other's eyes that he's trying to keep calm, from the way he wrings his fingers. "Besides, sometimes I see you tending to the flowers from my office, and I can't help but watch whenever I do. I hope you don't mind teaching me how to do it?"

'He… watches me?' Xue Yin blinks, red rising to his cheeks before he could will it down. It's more embarrassing because he talks to the flowers. They have words to say, much like any living being would, but he knows any mere mortal would find it strange. But maybe Ayato isn't just anyone either.

"...Of course." Xue Yin says after a few moments, finding that this will be good for him. As much as Xue Yin admires how hard Ayato works, he would never oppose to him getting more rest from his duties. Of course Xue Yin worries sometimes, just like anyone would for someone they cared about this much.

And of course, anyone would have the same fluttery feeling in their chest upon seeing that person's shoulders relax, right? Butterflies in their stomach when they see them smile with so much comfort and ease. Is it not normal for Xue Yin's heart to skip a beat when Ayato takes his hand and holds it tight, even if only to lead him out of the office?

Of course, Xue Yin's no fool to not recognise what these complicated feelings mean. But maybe there's no harm in pretending for a while longer, only because he hasn't calculated how to take that step forward yet.

——————————

As it turns out, teaching a Commissioner new tricks proves to be a more amusing task than Xue Yin had expected.

"Here?" Ayato asks, garden shears too close to the leaves for comfort. "This part's sticking out a bit…"

"There are too many flowers close to it, my lord." Xue Yin laughs softly, moving to take Ayato's hands and lead him to a leafless branch sticking out so he can snip that instead. If he feels the warmth radiating from Ayato's cheeks from here, he doesn't say anything. He's sure they've both noticed already, anyway. "I mostly trim the garden to make sure it's safe to walk through. Little imperfections such as these make it more… charming, don’t you think?"

Ayato steps back to admire his work—he had trimmed this flower bush all on his own after ten minutes of Xue Yin teaching him. Kind of. He's usually a fast learner, so Xue Yin can't help but be amused at how many times he'd asked for help. He wonders if Ayato even needs help, or if he simply wishes for Xue Yin to stay by his side. He doesn't allow himself to indulge in that thought for long, though.

"I have to agree with you. It's rather cute." Ayato hums, a proud little smile on his lips that Xue Yin inwardly coos at. Even Kamisato Ayato has his boyish charms.

But if not for Xue Yin having to walk past him to get the rake, he wouldn't have heard what Ayato says next, voice so soft it almost gets lost in the wind.

"I wonder how the garden will fare when you're gone…"

Time seemingly slows down then, the setting sun only further revealing the sombre glow in Ayato's eyes. It's nothing Xue Yin hasn't seen before—he has in rare nights, in the cold of winter when Ayato allows himself a moment of vulnerability to think about the ones dear to him he has lost.

Or the ones dear to him he might one day lose.

"...So that's what you've been worried about." Xue Yin smiles, nothing short of fond as he walks back up to Ayato. Ayato looks at him and surprise flashes across his face for a brief moment, before making way for sheepish guilt and such inexplicable longing that Xue Yin has to take a breath upon seeing it.

"My apologies for not telling you." Ayato chuckles, hands behind his back as he looks out towards the sea. "I couldn't help but eavesdrop on your conversation with the traveller and their companion last night."

Xue Yin smiles, the twinge of guilt strong in his own chest. Who knows how Ayato could've felt upon hearing that his secretary was thinking about leaving, to go back home? When he's been so loyal all this time?

"I respect your decision, though." Ayato speaks up, and although he doesn't doubt his words ring true, Xue Yin notices the slight hesitation in his voice. "We both know how important family is, and it would hurt me as well if I kept you from coming home any longer.

But perhaps I allowed myself to be a bit selfish today." He chuckles sheepishly, the sunset concealing his flushed cheeks just barely as he looks back down to the flower bush. "I had barely given myself time to process what I heard, and the thought of parting with you… I had to drown myself in work to stop thinking about it. So I couldn't help but ask for your company today."

Normally, flatteries such as these would make Xue Yin's heart skip a beat. He knows he's doing good work for the Commission to make not only his lord's, but his other coworkers' workload easier. He's good at what he does, and he doesn't need to be reassured such. But that doesn't mean it doesn't feel nice whenever Ayato reminds him of how indispensable he is to the clan. That sense of belonging comes back stronger every time he does.

So that's when Xue Yin laughs—softly, behind his hand. Not in ridicule, but Ayato gives him a confused look anyways, boyish pout only making him look even cuter in Xue Yin's eyes.

Xue Yin stops quickly though, aware the lack of context could make Ayato more upset, and takes his hand to hold tight, revelling in the way Ayato flusters just a tad. "Come. We still have the camellia trees to tend to, my lord."

The camellia trees lined up at the back of the estate stand tall but hidden, a perfect spot of seclusion from any visitors. It's where Xue Yin finds himself gravitating towards to relax, the sweet whispers of the camellias never failing to lull him to a peaceful nap.

Xue Yin wordlessly hands Ayato the garden shears, and Ayato hesitates for a moment—understandably, after being left hanging from his vulnerable confession—but the look in Xue Yin's eyes leads him to take them, unable to resist the sweet openness within them. Ayato may be the one who leads Xue Yin due to his higher rank, but he always finds himself surprised at how in tune Xue Yin is with him. At times, even more than he is with himself. And what is even more surprising is that he can't find it in him at all to mind being wrapped around Xue Yin's finger from time to time.

So he lets Xue Yin be one step ahead of him this once, and they work in silence for a few minutes, the only sound to accompany them the satisfying snip of shear to branch.

"...In Fontaine," Xue Yin finally speaks up, resisting the urge to giggle when he notices Ayato tense with bated breath, "Camellias send a message different from what we might be used to here."

Breaking his own rules, he decides to snip a couple of fully bloomed flowers—one red, one pink. "Red camellias signify nobility here. A warrior's strength, of bravery no matter the odds. They symbolise the honour of those we have lost protecting us. I've always admired how meaningful they are."

He smells the flowers, as if to take a deep breath to calm his nerves, and walks up to Ayato. The both of them put down their shears, and Xue Yin smiles at how in tune Ayato is with him. He puts the flowers into his hands and holds them. When he looks up, he lets himself be a little selfish and bask in the way Ayato seems to glow, with the sun disappearing into the ocean behind him, purple and blue making him look even more handsome than he already is, despite the adorable slight fluster on his face.

"In Fontaine, pink camellias are given when you miss someone." Xue Yin says, unable to hide the slight waver in his voice—not that he wants to, anyway. He's not the type to show vulnerability to anyone, but Ayato isn't just anyone. "When you long to see someone, and you long to be with them, you send these to express such yearning."

Ayato is silent for a moment, looking down at the flowers and at their hands, and the newfound soft firmness in his eyes when he looks back at Xue Yin's is enough to set off those butterflies back in his stomach. "And red camellias?"

Xue Yin smiles, knowing. He knows Ayato doesn't even need to ask. "I'm sure you can guess, my lord."

He takes a deep, shaky breath then and looks down, his grip on Ayato's hands tightening as he thinks about what to say. Not because it'll be hard for Ayato to take in, but because he still hasn't quite come to terms with it himself.

"...Ayato, I have no place left in Liyue." He says after a long moment of silence, feeling Ayato startle a bit at being called by name. "It's changed drastically. I've told you, haven’t I? Rex Lapis came to me in a dream and told me what had happened. That my contract… was over.

It was all too hard to process. Too hard to face the truth that in my last moments as Liyue's protector, I did no such protecting. I couldn't. I felt helpless, like I had nowhere else to go. My contract was to wander, to travel wherever I pleased but to always come home whenever home needed me. And in the final time that it did, I couldn't be there. I longed to see my sister again, but after that… I wasn't even sure if I could."

It's still a more sensitive topic than he had expected it to be, and he doesn't even register his shoulders shaking until he's pulled into an embrace—one he's grown familiar with behind closed doors, as Ayato had been there to comfort him throughout his grief.

But Xue Yin steels himself and gulps audibly, not wanting Ayato to say anything until he's done. "But you remember what you said to me that night, don't you? When I told you everything. I could never bring myself to forget it."

Ayato speaks up after a beat, and the tenderness in his voice doesn't go unnoticed. "That you belonged here."

Xue Yin chuckles, the small lump in his throat forcing a few tears out. Ayato pulls back a little as if he sensed it, wiping at Xue Yin's cheek before he could do it himself.

"And that I do." Xue Yin reassures both Ayato and himself, arms sliding around him and gently squeezing. "I had almost forgotten in my grief, and I felt it with the others too. It was hard for all of us adepti to find new purpose in our life, but some of us had almost forgotten that we already found it."

Xue Yin smiles again, this time brighter than he has since the passing, as bright as he had when the Yashiro Commission hosted its first festival after being on the brink of collapse. It's a smile of pride—pride that he was part of something so great—and a deep, inexplicable adoration for the man he worked alongside to make it work. For the man he believed in and swore his loyalty to, all those years ago.

"And mine is with you, Ayato."

Even in this tender moment, Xue Yin can't help but giggle at the hundreds of flashes of emotion that cross Ayato's face in a split second, but nothing could prepare him for the gentle press of his lips against his forehead, leaving Xue Yin to go through a myriad of emotions on his own. Always one step ahead of each other.

"So…" Ayato starts, still a nervous edge to his laugh when Xue Yin's too slow to regain composure. As always, when it comes to him. "You're not going back to Liyue?"

"Not forever." Xue Yin reassures, shaking his head. "I was only planning to ask you if I could take a week's leave after the festival."

"...Gosh, how silly of me." Ayato laughs, this time unrestrained like all the weight's been lifted off his shoulders. It's so light, so beautiful that Xue Yin feels all his worries disappear as well, his own genuine laughs carried into the wind. "And here I was, acting like a spoiled child being left alone for the first time."

"I'm not surprised." Xue Yin teases as easily as he breathes, always easy whenever he's around Ayato. "Sometimes I wonder what you would do without me."

"You know perfectly well I would do just fine." He tsks back, the smile on his lips Xue Yin is sure no one else but him has seen before. "In terms of work, at least. But I have to admit, you help me feel at ease. The fact that I want you around is the reason why I need you."

"You flatter me." Xue Yin hums, reluctantly pulling away from the hug. He won't admit it, not yet, but the longer he spends in Ayato's arms, the more willing his knees are to give in. "But I know the truth, my lord. Two pairs of hands are better than one."

"Perhaps." Ayato chuckles. "So it wouldn't be selfish of me to ask you to stay?"

…Xue Yin grins, moving forward himself to press a kiss on Ayato's cheek and relishing in the way he jumps, just a little. How cute. "I told you, all you need to do is ask."

Ayato shakes his head a little to compose himself after a few moments of shock, laughing in mild disbelief. "I wonder how long we're going to keep trying to outsmart each other here."

"Do you not think it's fun?" Xue Yin pouts, taking the garden shears and looking over the camellia trees one more time to make sure they're well trimmed. "I think it is. After all, I'm the only one who can truly challenge you in a game of shogi, my lord."

Ayato shakes his head again, expression fond as he follows Xue Yin to the corner. But before they can round it to be visible to any public eye, he takes his wrist and tugs him back, one final question burning on his lips.

"Xue Yin." He starts, Xue Yin turning around with a confused, but amused expression. They both know Ayato's only asking now so he gets the last laugh, but Xue Yin's right. Their little intellectual games are some of Ayato's favourite pastimes.

"This red camellia…" He looks at the flowers in his hand, and back up to Xue Yin, revelling in the soft colour of his cheeks. "What does it mean for us?"

Xue Yin takes a breath to answer, head tilting as he hums in thought. Then suddenly, the smile on his face tells Ayato that he may not get the last laugh after all.

"I'll tell you when I return. We have more papers to sign, don't we?"

Ayato watches in stunned silence as Xue Yin steps back, wrist free from the slack in his grip. He only comes to when he hears Xue Yin laugh loud and bright as he rounds the corner, and Ayato splutters despite himself, almost tripping on his feet to try and catch up. He does nothing to hold back the sparkling laugh bubbling from his chest, the ripples of heart beating wildly even in still waters. "Hey—!"

When Xue Yin notices the vase of red and pink camellia by Ayato's table when he comes into the office the next day, he says nothing of it. Because they both already know.

#oc x canon #selfship #self ship #f/o community #oc x canon fic #selfship community #ok to rb (please rb)#🌸 the camellia forms ripples on still waters #💘.writing #♡ hopelessly devoted #xue yin tag tba #WHAT DO I EVEN TAG THIS AS AGHHH

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