#i'm super proud of myself!! this is a first time ive done such a clean analysis

[radio-sepia]

shizzle i’m having such a moment rn

ANALYSIS COMIN THROUGH

currently reading ‘the sacred and the profane’ (good omens fanfic by afrai) and listening to ‘looking back is blinding’ (chrome canyon)

and shiz okay apart from the fact that this music piece is literally perfect anytime i listen to it, now I keep thinking of it as the embodiment of Capriel’s arc, or rather, his relationship with Zirah; i get quite similar vibes from both those pieces.

because really ‘looking back...‘ for me, feels like there’s nothing left for you. you’re walking, and walking, and walking and there is no end in sight. every step you take is full of pain, but you keep going anyway. stuck in a loop of the same decision, over and over AND OVER AGAIN. you keep going, even though you KNOW you're actually going.. backwards. you're making no progress, and the only thing you're doing is hurting yourself, but you can't stop. doing what you're doing is the only comfort you have. and there is some small part of you that still holds on to hope, that maybe if you try hard enough, it will get better. as if that part had anything to hold on to. you tried to rip that hope out of yourself so many times, but apparently you can't. maybe it's the only thing keeping you alive.

and that's how i see Capriel. the only thing of value he has in his life is Zirah; and since the latter is deep into trauma induced psychopathic-like mindset characterised by zero empathy for anyone except Capriel and acts of bloodcurdling violence done without so much as a hint of remorse... yeah, you could totally equate the toxicity of that relationship with a 'bucket of carcinogen' as done so in the fic. and he keeps it up. he can't help falling back into Zirah's arms, can't help the comfort that it brings him, even though with that comes sorrow and grief and agony. he desperately wants Zirah to be different, to heal, but he knows it's practically impossible since Zirah doesn't express any interest in changing himself. but that little hope is still there, hovever small and awful. like a knife leaving him bleeding every single time the same thought enters his mind. 'he'll always be like this'.

but if he were to end it, nothing would remain. an angel, unable to die, among humans who come and go, among angels stuck in their superiority and petty rivarly with Hell, with God that doesn't seem to care about any of Her children...

#the sacred and the profane #looking back is blinding #chrome canyon #meta i suppose #to be fair some people in the youtube's comments came up with some of the song's interpretation that i shamelessly incorporated here #good omens #fuckin hell #hm actually right now im not sure whether god was actually mentioned in the fic? #hm still even if they weren't you could derive such a conclusion i think #also i like thinkin of god as a she. #it's nice. #i'm super proud of myself!! this is a first time ive done such a clean analysis #usually its super hard to use my words but here it was easier? #wowww #analysis #meta #how do i tag this so i find it #this fic is so damn well-written aaa #and dark. please read content warnings done by people around here cause its a big thing

[captainbaz]

I'm glad I didn't upset you :) Now please be so kind as to answer 1-100 of those questions. -waits patiently-

Oh boy, youre in for a very long post, im warning you all....Also have fun looking up the questions! 8)1. Blake2. 223. March 9th4. Pisces5. Blue...6. 137. I do, its a cat his name is Fluffy, and i love  him to death. He is my little shitlord.8. Louisiana9. Im either 5"6" or 5"7" not really sure10. Honestly this is hard to answer since it depends on the brand, but the ones i have are like a 1211. Literally 212. Its been this really weird reoccurring dream, that i dont wanna talk about at the moment! Sorry!!13. Is lazy a talent? but in all honesty care taking is a talent and im glad to be one when i can for literally anyone.14. Ive had my moments, whether it was something i saw in a dream, or just something i could call out on spot on accident.15. As of late this is a hard one to answer, but i can still say without a doubt, Bridges in The Sky by Dream Theater.16. Shaun of The Dead, and Hot Fuzz. I couldnt pick between them.17. Honestly, if i want to think about ideal partner, all i need from them is Trust, Loyalty, Humor, and a fucking cute smile thatll melt me every time i see it. 18. Yes two is the limit.19. Hmm maybe, i never put alot of thought into marriage, but if i decide to do traditional.20. Nope..21. Plenty...22. Oh boy have i...23. Technically? Ive chatted with a few people who the current society would consider as "famous" and they are all lovely people.24. There is a time for both, i prefer Showers though!25. Black, all of them are black.26. Nope, or at least i hope not if i am then i made a mistake.27. No, i can barely handle people, so knowing the paparazzi is waiting for me somewhere worries me.28. I really like Jazz, but im pretty open to all types.29. Yes, the time it happened was not fun, but yes.30. Two, it use to be four.31. On my side, or like on my stomach, its usually the way i get comfy quickly.32. Not very, like its big enough for me, bout a medium sized one story house.33. I dont really wake up for breakfast or fall asleep around the time for breakfast, so yeah.34. Yes, i have actually.35. I wanted to, but i dont think id make a very good bowman.36. I dont have a favorite "Clean" word.37. Ass, it never ceases to amuse me as a word.38. Five Days... maybe longer when i was younger, insomnia is bad.39. Plenty, mentally and physically.40. Im sure i do, if they see this. Hello, youre more than welcome to just drop in and say Hi! Make yourself known.41. If the situation calls for it, ill do what i have to with words, but id prefer to not have to lie.42. Yes, while id prefer to not judge, sometimes its needed to keep myself safe.43. I mean im sure i could, how accurate it is thats another story.44. Nope, my voice is pretty bland when it comes to an accent.45. The Australian accent, its like music to my ears.46. If i dont know you too well, im pretty cold and dead, if i do know you, im pretty warm and generally fun.47. Its a winter jacket, that hasnt seen any use at all from me.48. Yes, i can in a few ways but nothing super impressive.49. Innie.50. Im ambidextrous, but still Left hand dominant.51. Not really, they can be cute sometimes.52. Pineapple Pizza53. Honestly just Italian food in general.54. A little of both actually.55. It always ends with "im gonna shit myself"56. Fuck and the many variations of it.... not proud of that one but you know.57. Not very long, i dont like to keep people waiting if i dont have to.58. I can be pretty cocky, but its only on things i know are accurate.59. Bite.60. Only when i do something seriously stupid.61. Yes, its relaxing and you can never beat singing in the shower.62. No, probably not, i sound really monotone normally so i can only imagine how bad my singing is.63. Letting down all those who put trust in me. 64. Nope, im not a gossip.65. I havent seen very many of those, so i dont know if ive seen a best one. 66. Both, Both are very good.67. No, no i cannot. I only remember the ones i have friends in, or the ones i want to visit.68. Photography, it was available at the high school i went to and was actually the one i enjoyed the most out of everything i took.69. Introvert70. Nope, never done that.71. Large groups of people.72. Nope, i walk in it alot.73. I have a few times, but only if its something that legit bothers me, other than that ill leave it be cause i make alot of mistakes too.74. You know it.75. Nope, dont care for rumors, and dont want to care about rumors.76. Yes, a few times its very stressful but someone has to do it.77. Yup, have not been drunk underage though.78. Nope, havent touched them dont plan on it. Its not for me.79. It was a girl named Kelsie, had the biggest crush on her, till middle school.80. I dont have any piercings, thought about them years ago but lost interest.81. No, i cant roll my R's i never could, and never figured out how to.82. Decently fast.83. I havent ran since some point in highschool, so ill say not very.84. Dirty Blonde.85. Gray86. Im not allergic to anything i know of yet.87. I use to, but it was a journal of doodles, instead of writing about things, id just doodle the emotion i felt or was feeling.88. My dad works for an oilfield company, and my mom is, just a stay at home mother.89. Yes, yes i do, complaining about my age wont make me younger so.90. Myself, mostly.91. Its pretty good yeah, when im not being called a spice by accident.92. Maybe a few years ago i would have had an actual answer to this, but currently, ive put no thought into what id name my future children.93. Id want a girl, but if its my own flesh and blood ill take what i get.94. My humor, my knowledge, my ability to stay calm in a terrible situation, my way with words.95. My way with words.... Animals, generally anything cute is a weakness to me. My depression.96. I was named after my great uncle, but i got his middle name as my first and his first as my middle.97. From what i remember being told, on my mother's side we were related to english royalty.98. This one repeated, but, Yes both mentally and physically.99. Its like a Creme colored pinstripe.100. Its Blue, my room is blue.