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dykeceit · 4 years

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janus' playlist not-really-analysis just me screaming

so first of all this whole playlist absolutely SLAPS, its the first side playlist that's just my taste and it doesnt surprise me that it's janus' bc of course it is i am absolutely 100% more attracted to him now somehow,

im absolutely not okay and this isn't gonna be articulate in any way but i. have to.

1. black hole sun

???hes sad?? apparently its about depression with some sexy snake metaphors....maybe hes just sad in general or he misses virgil. also postmodern jukebox hell yeah

2. it seemed the better way

this feels like it could be about patton or like thinking one thing and then realizing its not true ig could be that w society in general or people...him developing his trust issues possibly "i better hold my tongue, i better take my place" or like oh the other sides hate me ig ill be a villain then...

3. anywhere

janus sanders says fuck capitalism!

4. talking at the same time

eat the rich,,,virgil left me:(

5. all the good girls go to hell

he's needed and the others are starting to realize it. hes quite smug abt it "my turn to ignore ya, don't say i didn't warn ya" damn right boy

6. denial

he blasted this song after svs while crying "please don't turn the light out, i don't think the conversation's over" he had to wait almost a year but he finally got to continue that conversation,, "i know where you'd wanna go, oh i do, but do you?"

7. trust in me

i mean yeah sexxy snake moment right here

8. razzle dazzle

so obviously its just his aesthetic tm but the lyrics...are the jabs at roman or himself, perhaps both? i never took him to be very insecure but that's a possibility

9. when the chips are down

basically his speech about society in svs and how he doesn't want thomas to be disadvantaged in it

10. mandy goes to med school

uhhh yeah who knows there's a bit of a i know what im doing jk vibe going on and Doing Harm but the thing itself is necessary to Have yknow right to abortions its just theyre not legal so hes doing them illegally and apparently two ppl died from them so not great,,"my partner brian" at the end made me think of remus tbh "hes a nice man, thoroughly reliable, he's in a rock band" kinda gives off the vibe of eh yeah hes totally reliable lmao dw tho, so basically what im taking from this is dukeceit is canon thanks for coming to my ted talk

11. i put a spell on you

i mean its definetely his Vibes but idk if its @ anyone specifically...could be virgil, could be roman, maybe thomas himself...its a vengeful kinda song, hes like fuck you you're listening to me now im done you treating me like shit

12. evil night together

so aside from this being an extremely hot song its def dukeceit vibes as in they'd both like it but the hero part as others have pointed out is giving out major roceit vibes and thomas and co know this those bastards

13. cabaret: don't tell mama

im assuming this is more of a..this is what he likes to listen to plus its about secrecy which is his thing but i guess "mama" could be someone in particular as well, and/or he could be singing it to someone in particular...

14. you're a cad

bruh. first of i loved this song already secondly iM SORRY THOMAS WHAT ARE YOY IMPLYING HERE like first i was like this isn't abt Him right that wouldn't make sense so is it about...virgil...well ofc it is bruh what the fuck bro....im loving this bc its casting virgil in an unsympathetic light and i love that shit but also its revealing janus still Feels quite a lot for him and idk how to feel abt this i. the part of me that still loves anxceit is screaming and the part of me that hates virgil is also screaming they haven't stopped for a minute-

15. as far as i can see

so dukeceit vibes possibly virgil reference since he "went down the staircase" to his spot,,so basically he and remus maybe virgil and orange too like pushing ppl down the stairs bc they feel unheard

16. criminal

this is where the angst train rly starts choo choo....so. who is he singing about here. my god i want it to be roman so bad but it Could be virgil...which would imply he thinks he's wronged him somehow which would mean virgil has a more valid reason to dislike him and I Don't Like That. but whoever hes singing about is clearly important to him... "he's all i knew of love" bro....that's just screaming virgil right i dont like it op...basically he feels guilty for smth and to be "redeemed". he clearly doesn't need redemption from his canon actions so far, and he hasn't acted like he regrets any of them, which is making me think its abt smth in his past buut maybe he does feel bad for manipulating roman now bc he realized how hurt roman was and thats what i wanna believe it's about ok roceit rights except roman youre a bitch apologise

17. change

this made me fucking lose it bro im still losing it ive lost it. he's not okay and neither am i....bro i didnt think he'd be so....insecure but....i mean all of them seem to be so...but yeah this song is very,,,i have trust issues and im learning to love again vibes and i am crying while my wig is being ripped cruelly from my head....i choose to interpret this as less like ive been bad uwu i can change and be good now and more as ive been too afraid to care bc im so aware of the harm it can do to me but i realized its worth it so im trying now....and i think that's beautiful

18. devil in the details

hes telling thomas to Just Do It. he "made amends in the general sense" but "the devil's in the details" and he "knows the cause" and "wants to stop" but he "just can't do it". this seems kinda like more virgil angsty times for me or maybe the cause is just him being...him and just being well i cant stop being my function so...but he sees it as The Reason theres still animosity even if hes "made amends".

19. come little children

first i was like bruh its a bop but y is it here. but the lyrics are basically repeating how horrible the world is, "murdering beauty and passion", and the singer doesnt have to be killing or kidnapping the kids maybe its just a friendly fae helping some abused kids yknow you never know...basically fae!janus confirmed i know you have connections with them thomas i know you do

20. into the unknown

i like that this is short it kinda feels like hes coming to say okay im done bye after this whole musical that is his playlist. i am ashamed to say im not familiar w the plot of over the garden wall but someone said smth abt killing kids. well yknow how it is sometimes...but yeah very sexy, very fae, i will stan forever etc.

#janus sanders #deceit sanders #roceit #dukeceit #sanders sides #idk bro im losing it #i love him and his music taste #basically all the songs are hot

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spoonass69 · 3 years

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big rant type post/ story thingy:

TW/CW:

abuse mentions, r*pe mentions, kinda just talking about my experience with being a baby activist and learning how authority figures and my white peers act in these kinds of situations

anyways a year after i entered public school in about 6th grade, one of the teachers decided to have her whole class sit in silence, without moving, on the grass for a whole recess because a few kids were too loud in the hallways on their way to recess. so naturally my friends and i talked about how unfair it was and we organized a peaceful protest consisting of me and about 4 other kids. we planned on having signs and informational pamphlets and sitting on the grass.

that day i went home and had my mom help me research how recess was not only beneficial, but necessary for kids. then i wrote up a paper on why collective punishment was unfair and how taking away recess was actually just hurting students and i even gave alternative solutions so they could still like punish kids who were loud in the hallways or something

the next day, i walked into school with my big rainbow cardboard sign saying “recess is a right not a privilege” when i got to breakfast, i saw none of my friends had signs or anything. they told me they didnt think i was serious, despite agreeing the previous day to be a part of this. that was fine though, i can handle this all on my own since i have all the things i need.

i walked up to class once the bell rang, and i put my stuff in my locker for the day. i realized by sign wasnt going to fit, so i put it in the windowsill in the hallway directly outside my classroom to wait until recess, and i went to go sit at my desk and start my bellwork.

about a minute later, my teacher came in and asked me to step out into the hallway with her, ehich was weird since class hadn’t even started yet so why wouldnt she just tell me what she needed to in the classroom.

i stepped out into the hallway and she went into this whole thing about how i had put my sign facing outwards in the window, which also happened to be right next to where some oarents dropped off their kids. she was mad because “other parents are gonna think were not letting you have recess!!” (which was what was happening, pretty regularly actually, this past incident was just the last straw). she continued to yell at me, i dont even really remember all that she said both because it happened so long ago and because at the time i was being abused at home and tended to panic very very hard whenever anyone showed that they were upset with me at all, which lead to me kinda auto deleting the memories. whatever she was saying, her tone was scary and hurtful enough to make me absolutely bawl, in front of the entire 6th grade class that was still entering the classrooms around me. even after i, through a stream of tears and snot, very timidly said i just wanted to stand up for my classmates, she continued to yell at me for a good 5 minutes.

the other 6th grade teacher stood by and watched, let all the other kids watch. i was not a rebellious kid, i did everything in my power to only seem happy and not show vulnerability, i had to do that to survive. i wasnt a troublemaker or anything like that, the teacher actually really liked me before this, i was quiet and always did my work and followed the rules. this was my first offense. it wasnt even an offense, i was simply asking my teachers not to treat my friends and classmates unfairly. and i got screamed at to the point of panic and sobbing, to going completely out of character. and my peers would not say anything. my peers would not stand with me. they would not admit that i was not the sole person that wanted to do this, and of course i wouldnt rat them out. but worst of all, the other adult there, that was supposed to protect me, stood there and watched. silently. knowing the abuse that was going on at home. they both knew. they both knew i only had good intentions. they both knew i would never start anything too rowdy on purpose. neither of them even tried talking to me calmly or asking what was going on. they wouldnt even read the pamphlets i made.

there are some key elements here i want to highlight.

my peers abandoned me, and let me try and make things better for them after agreeing to have my back (i almost never missed recess because i had to follow rules perfectly to survive). they then let me take all the blame and the punishment

the adults who were supposed to care about me and protect me responded with aggression and hostility when i wanted to peacefully ask them to stop harming my friends

the adults who were supposed to care about me and protect me stood by and watched as one of their coworkers screamed at a sobbing child who was already dealing with abuse at home

this was the first situation, that has fit into countless amounts of patterns as ive learned more about oppression and activism.

at worst, the people in power will only respond to peaceful pleas for respect with violence. at best they will sot by and watch as others perpetrate that violence for them.

there are a lot of people, specifically other white people in my experience, who will ask you for support, loyalty, help or anything when dealing with things such as homophobia from peers or just general bullying but then when you are in a situation where you need them to put themselves at risk to help you and support you in a meaningful way, they completely turn on you.

this last one i feel like can get misinterpreted so im gonna give this example

a friend wanted me to support them and have their back when one of our mutual friends was bullying them, i said of course and made sure my friend did not feel any guilt after cutting the mutual friend out of their life and i also cut them out of mine. when pointed out to that same friend how one of their friends was being disrespectful towards me after i called them out for being supportive of police during the blm protests, and i told them i wasn’t comfortable being friends with someone who was friends with people who disrespected me they told me i was trying to control who they were friends with and i was being unreasonable, and then promptly went and made fun of me

i give my friends support and try to work with them to make pur environment safer and happier for everyone, but when we’re put in a tough spot, i get thrown under the bus because im usually the only one who wholeheartedly wants to do something, who wants to put the effort into caring for my friends and keeping them safe

ive seen this specifically happening all over my area, i dont know if this goes for other places in the US, but it feels like i am pretty relatively alone, im seeing everyone from my old school or from nearby schools calling themselves activists, saying the support these movements, saying they agree with all these ideas, but only follow through if its not only convenient, but if it will make them look good to a significant amount of people and if the action is basically spoon fed to them.

im not sure if i really have a message or a point to this but i felt like this information does have some kind of message in it somewhere that i just can quite articulate yet.

i guess just generally, if youre seeing these things happen too and youre also feeling alone and frustrated, dont give in to people who wont put their social standing at risk to stand up for you, if youre noticing these patterns and sticking up for your friends or peers in general despite the risks then you deserve people who will put in the same effort to care about you.

also i know some people cant put in the effort, i did have a lot of people reach out to me when i was very publicly calling people in my area out for standing by while their peers were racist/antisemetic. they told me that some people cant stand up for others due to anxiety or idk the risk of losing all their friends would be bad for their mental health. but yk i have a severe anxiety disorder and cptsd, and i did lose all 15 of my friends and my boyfriend in one day in freshman year of highschool after i told them i couldnt hang out with them if they were gonna hang out with trumpies. then for a week they all messaged me separately telling me i was a crazy bitch. then for 6 months told everyone new i tried to make friends with or date that i was a crazy bitch (but far more convincingly) even though i blocked them all, didnt mention them, did my best not to think about them, and even changed my routes to all my classes so i couldnt pass any of them in the hallways. but even after the trauma that caused me, it was the only right and reasonable thing to do. no matter how badly i was doing, it would not compare to the damage me being friends with them and enabling their behavior could do to someone in the future, because enabling those people is how we end up with men who rape and murder women. and even if all that wasnt the most important aspect of this, staying friends with those people would have messed me up astronomically worse than cutting them off did.

(just to make it super clear tho, im not expecting people of the marginalized communities to put their safety at risk to stand up to their own opressors, i am expecting mostly white kids to put their idk social status and comfort asside and stand up to your friends or other people in general when theyre harming others)

#tw abuse #tw rape #edited to make the tw stand out more just incase

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