#im a little gremlin that feeds off auras and have a perperual tummy ache becuase they all taste bad

[autisticlee]

no one I know or meet seems to sees things the way i do. others either see everything as a competition or a thing they're bad at and/or too embarrassed to try....

i see it as an opportunity to have fun with friends, laugh together and at ourselves, and form good memories. working together, not against each other by making everything competitive. despite being bad at something or looking silly. and in spite of what other people might think about that!

I honestly can't stand trying to hang out with people who want to make everything a competition. I do not want to compete with you or anyone else! that is not fun for me at all. stop it. you don't need to win at something all the time. learn how to relax for once.

I also can't stand people who spend more time thinking about what other people around us might think about them and refuse to do things and miss fun opportunities because of those thoughts. they won't try new things or things they aren't perfect at because they're afraid to look silly or weird or whatever. so they hold back and miss out on things. or refuse to do them at all and miss out on everything. and that make me miss out on them too, because it's not fun or possible to do it alone and defeats the whole purpose!

#if you care more about winning or mkre about what other people think about you then i dont really want to be friends tbh lmao #im tired of people like that. that's the only type of people that i ever get a chance to talk to and i never have fun 😭 #autistic #actually autistic #neurodivergent #adhd #audhd #lee rambles #dont know if those things have to do with this actually but maybe someone will find this and can relate? idk... #some people are so good at casually enjoying things while not caring what anyone thinks and i wanna be around that energy! #i want to absorb the big fun confident energy. i absord the energy of whoever im with #so i need people who are positive and fun and confident #im tired of being sad and depressed and afraid and whatever other negative energies most people feed me 😭 #im a little gremlin that feeds off auras and have a perperual tummy ache becuase they all taste bad #how do i find people who share the same views? everyone i meet and interact with has different views from me #i know its good to experience people with different views from your own and whatever #but it gets so boring and lonely to have no one who views things the same way and can join you! 😭 #always having to bend backwards to appease others and never get things “my way” even once sucks #i used to always immediately let others decide everything and do it their way because i was told im selfish if i ask even ONCE #for things to be my way. so i stopped asking at all. until i got too tired and now im always trying. but people whine and cry #until it's their way. or they won't do it at all with me there. so i have to give in anyway! #I JUST WANT SOMEONE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH AS ME SO THINGS GO SMOOTHLY HOW WE BOTH WANT BECAUSE WE MATCH PERFECTLY #WHY IS THAT IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME!!!!!!! WHY DOES THIS PERSON NOT EXIST IN THIS WORLD #must be nice to just be able to do things easily and not have to compromise every single thing just to get someone to hang out/be friends