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imaginariumrpc · 3 years

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okay so the lovely @imbicilite / @whitrph and i were talking and it gave me the idea and we thought it was a great idea to spread it around so here’s how it goes: when talking with someone about pretty much anything tbh, but especially for something that could potentially be triggering, communicate with color codes based on city traffic lights ! GREEN means it’s good to talk about these things and you’re not feeling triggered by the topic, YELLOW means to slow down or stop talking about the topic at for now while RED means to stop the conversation about the topic immediately until green again where the conversation can divert into another topic or they feel safe to talk about it again !! this is EXTREMELY important, because it’s a way to alert others that you’re going to be talking about something that could possibly upset someone because of the subject matter, especially for those who may get triggered by a certain topic - even without you realizing it because squicks and triggers can honestly be anything, it could be different words or phrases or certain topics - and can cause severe anxiety in those affected, even panic attacks or flashbacks, and because we want to be considerate and respectful towards one another, it’s important that we use these to help our friends and fellow rpers know that we’re going to be posting or talking about something they might not want to see or talk about, and it’s of utmost importance to make them feel safe, it’s best to use this to be a more supportive friend and a member of the rpc!!

on a sidenote, i’m also here to tell you about tone indicators !! keep in mind that i didn’t come up with nor invent the concept of tone tags itself, but it was being spread around for a while now and i’d figured i’d talk about it !! essentially, tone indicators are used to indicate if the person is joking, being serious, etc., neurodivergent people often have trouble conveying and understanding emotion and tone through written text, using tone indicators is really helpful for neurodivergent people to make it easier for them to read/convey, it is also very helpful for people with anxiety. i encourage anyone who reads this to also type the meaning of the tone tag ( i.e: i love you !! /p for platonic ), so it is more accessible for neurodivergent and disabled people, like those who use screen readers.

“why should we use tone tags?” one might ask, but as an autistic, disabled and otherwise neurodivergent person myself, sometimes i don’t always get my friends and fellow mutual’s tones by their message but when they use tone indicators, it helps me understand and, not to mention that it can be really helpful and avoid misunderstandings. i would also like to note that NOT ALL neurodivergent people want you to use tone indicators on them, so if they don’t want you to use tone tags on them, please respect their wishes.

“i don’t like tone tags!” one might add, well, okay... but don’t make fun of the people that use them, it’s not a big deal, and if you’re a neurotypical who insists on not using tone tags when a neurodivergent person clearly asked you to, get your head out of your ass.

“using /j at the end of a joke ruins it!!” one might bitch, and okay but... it might be ruined for you, but it still makes me laugh, personally, so please try and get used to it, and not to mention, what’s more important: making sure you’re clear with your tone so that there’s no misunderstandings or throwing a fit just because the joke’s ruined for you?

additionally, some other things to keep in mind !! please do not mock the use of tone tags, you may not need them but some people do, not everyone can tell when something is a joke, when someone’s either being platonic, romantic or sexual in intentions, etc.,, especially when there’s no visual cues or tones of voice to help us, just be nice about it, it’s... really not hard, man. if you don’t use a tone tag and someone reads the tone of your statement incorrectly, do not get upset with them or laugh at them for not getting it - that is perpetuating ableism and/or sanism, whether you intentionally intend it or not. just kindly clarify and next time, keep in mind that tone tags are very helpful for neurodivergent, disabled and people with anxiety disorders. using a tone tag isn’t an excuse to be mean either, you can’t just say something mean or not cool and then put /j ( “joking” ) after it to get away with it, don’t be an ass. if you’re saying something that could be anxiety inducing for others, i would highly recommend putting the tone tags at not only the end but also the beginning of that post. do not intentionally use tone tags incorrectly “as a joke”, to confuse people, etc., the entire point of tone tags is to clarify, not confuse people, if you intentionally use them incorrectly, you’re an ass. keep in mind that no one has to use all the tone tags, use what you’d like, respect others who use what they would like, use them however feels rights to you. for me personally, sometimes i use multiple, sometimes only one, or sometimes none at all, just do what feels right, depending on who i’m talking to and how long i’ve known this person or group of people i’m speaking to, it’ll be fine, and if someone asks for clarification on what you mean, that’s okay, kindly clarify for them. additionally, please be patient if people don’t know what tone tags are, someone might not even be aware of what they are and that’s not their fault, just patiently explain it to them or link them to a source !! education always helps !! please don’t use “/srs or serious” as a joke, some neurodivergent and/or disabled people don’t need you to use three tone tags, and in my case, i’m presuming you’re neurotypical if you’re doing that when conversing with me, but what i’m trying to say is it looks like you’re babying us neurodivergents / disabled folx, so try to use only two tags ( that is, if that person is okay with it !! ), because some people don’t need you to use three tags.

please note that the following aren’t every single example out there and there are different terminologies in different languages, but they are important, a few examples of these are:

“/j = joking / used when saying something in a joking manner, “so im pretty much the president of oreos /j”,

“/hj = half joking / used when saying something that’s kind of a joke but kind of serious / “well,,,,, im usually right /hj” /

“/s or /sarc / refers to the opposite of what you really want to say / “i just [clenches fists] love...... being sad..... /s”,

“/srs / used when saying something you really mean / “i really appreciate you /srs””,

“/nsrs = not serious / used when saying something not too seriously / “you’re the worst /nsrs”,

“/lh = lighthearted = used when something’s said lightheartedly / “hEY LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS /lh” / i’d say something like this when me and my friends would get into a silly argument and they’re trying to ask my opinion on a topic”,

“/ij = referring to something that’s only understood by people with special knowledge about something, typically only a small group of friends or a group of people would be aware of, those outside of the group would most likely be confused by it or not find it funny in the same way people within in the group would / “aAAAAAAAAA MY NUGGIES!!!!! /ij””,

“/ref = a reference to media, usually movies, tv, music, etc., “yOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAASSSSSSS /ref”,

“/t = teasing, use when teasing someone or provoking someone, often playfully, “aiight sure mx idk wtf im doin /t”,

“nm = not mad, to indicate you’re not actually mad or upset about something / “ow... i felt that /nm”,

“lu = a little upset / used when about about something or someone, but not too upset / “oh... that sucks /lu”,

“/nbh = “nobody here” = often used when talking about something vague to ensure your friends it’s not indirectly to or about them / “sometimes i just wanna..... tell someone to shut the fuck up /nbh”,

“/nay = not at you / used when saying something but not meaning it at the person you’re responding to / “god i can’t stand lame people /nay”,

“/ay = “at you”, make the person aware you’re addressing them”,

“/g or /gen = used when saying or asking something for real / “i’m proud of you /g” or “have you watched the news?? /gen”,

“/th = threat, used when giving a genuine threat / “if you don’t stop, i’ll block you /th”,

“/p = platonic, a friendship type of love, used when saying something with platonic intentions / “i love you /p”,

“/r = romantic intentions, typically of partners when saying something with romantic intentions / “i love you /r””,

“/a = alterous, an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being at all or entirely platonic and/or romantic, used when saying with alterous intentions / “i love you /a””

“/m = metaphor / used when saying something metaphorically / “god you’re a shining star /m””

“/li = literal / used when saying something literally / “i hate pears /li””

“/rh = rhetorical / a question asked in order to create a dramatic effect or to make a point rather than to get an answer / used when saying or asking something rhetorically / “who cares? /rh””

“/hyp = hyperbole, exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally ; “i have a million things to do today”

“/sx = sexual intent, used when meaning something in a sexual way”,

“/nsx = nonsexual intent, used when meaning something in a not sexual way”,

“/pos = positive / used when saying something and meaning it in a positive way / “omg im gonna cry /pos”, implied they’re crying for a happy reason”,

“/neg = negative / used when saying something and meaning it in a negative way / “omg im gonna cry /neg”, implied they’re crying for an upsetting reason”, and

“/neu = neutral / used to show that what you’re saying is neutral or that you feel indifferent about it / “yeah i don’t care man do what you want /neu”, you don’t care about something but not in a mean or a negative way, you’re just indifferent”.

on a final note, HERE is a list of tone tags both in english and in other languages ( namely italian, spanish, portuguese, french, polish, german, lithuanian, serbian, dutch, indonesian, romanian, bulgarian, russian, hebrew, japanese, mandarin and korean !! ) and HERE are the list of sources about the content of tone tags !! i wish everyone reading this a lovely day !!

#** blog; mod angie.#** blog; mod post.#** blog; okay to reblog.#tw; long post #tw; sex mention

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airheadedleo · 5 years

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lu’s v basic astrology glossary

if you’re anything like me, when you’re first getting into astrology, a lot of the terminology is very confusing and it can be overwhelming! i’ve seen tons of posts dedicated to explaining vvv basic stuff like sun/moon/rising, the planets and what they represent, the houses, etc; but ive never seen a big breakdown of common terms! // if there is one and i havent seen it, feel free to direct me in the replies!! nothing wrong with learning.

keep in mind, im still learning, myself! i never claimed to be an astrologer, im just a person like you! if you have any advice, commentary, or corrections, send me an ask or gimme a reply! i won’t be mad if you aren’t mean.

so, starting with A and moving down to Z...

aspect - when two or more planets line up at an angle, and their energies mingle! some aspects are compatible, while some aren’t at all. breaking alphabetical order here to highlight some important aspects...

conjuct - an aspect with two or more planets in the same sign. this is basically when the energies of the two planets “blend”... which can either be magical, or super dysfunctional depending on the planets.

sextile - an aspect with two or more planets two signs apart. this is generally a very easy, compatible aspect where all planets involved are playing nice! as a rule of thumb, both planets must be in either earth/water or air/fire, so the energy will never be in conflict.

trine - an aspect with two or more planets four signs apart. this is often called the “sweet spot” and is where energy is harmonious and everything seems to be falling into place. planets are in their highest vibration state of synchronicity! all planets involved should be of the same element, and are working for the same agenda.

^^^ these aspects (conjuct, sextile, trine) are called “soft angle” aspects, and are generally very easy to work through!

square - an aspect with two or more planets three signs apart. this is basically an energetic tug of war where none of the planets involved want to put down their pitchforks and find a compromise! we generally teeter-totter between extremes during squares, and it’s important to emphasize finding a middle ground during these times.

quincunx - an aspect with two or more planets five signs apart. basically, none of the aspecting planets have anything in common, and it can feel like an awkward, out of place time in general! it can feel like your head is one place while your heart is somewhere else entirely-- in times like these, its important to understand the agenda of each planet involved and how they work off of each other rather than trying to get them to play nice-- it just won’t happen!

opposition - an aspect with two or more planets six signs apart. these planets are as far away from each other as possible, which creates major tension as the two polar extremes aspect! what’s important here is finding a balance with these energies, and seizing the opportunity to learn from both planets involved!

^^^ these aspects (square, quincunx, and opposite) are called “hard angle” aspects, which are definitely more challenging blending of energies!

for more information on aspects and examples of each, i highly recommend this source! shifting back to alphabetical order...

cusp - the dividing line between two signs or houses. so, if anyone says that they’re a sun in aries/taurus cusp, it means that the sun was hovering right over the line between aries and taurus at the time of their birth, which can “muddle” the energies of both signs in the planet, depending on the positioning!

eclipse - when the earth, sun, and moon all line up in the sky! these happen a few times in a year, and generally mark big changes and shifts in energy! for more on eclipses, i’ll be making posts dedicated to both soon!

element - the signs are grouped into the four elements: air, fire, earth, and water. if your chart has a lot of planets in a certain element, you’ll generally have a lot of the qualities of that element; if your chart is lacking in a certain element, you’ll have to work harder to cultivate the aspects of that element into your life to promote growth.

ephemeris - basically a big ass calendar of all the planets and what sign they’re in on any given day! they’re super useful if you want to keep an eye on the astrological weather, so to speak, and plan accordingly. for this years ephemeris, click this link!

equinox (and solstice) - equinoxes and solstices indicate a change in season, and are considered important in astrological practices. spring (March 21) and autumn (September 21) equinoxes indicate equal amounts of sunlight, as the sun is striking the equator. the winter (December 21) and summer (June 21) solstices are either the longest or the shortest days of the year, depending on which hemisphere you’re in. these dates may be a good time to use the energy for re-evaluating and making changes!

house - houses represent a specific area of life, and each adds another layer of interpretation. so, basically... when a planet enters a house, its energy has to work with the tools the house provides, while behaving the way its sign dictates. if that doesn’t make sense, think of it like this: the planet is a person in a job interview, the sign is the agenda the planet has, and the house is the job the planet is interviewing for.

moon phases - every 28 days, the moon cycles through four phases (new moon, waxing moon, full moon, waning moon). each phase of the moon has its own distinct energy and can impact the way we feel. its especially important to consider what sign the moon is in at the time, as well!

natal chart - (or birth chart) is basically a map of the sky the moment you were born. you can determine your natal chart if you know the exact date, time, and location of your birth (use this if you haven’t determined yours already!). the “big three” signs are your sun, moon, and rising/ascendant signs, as those are most indicative of your personality! (depending on the rest of your chart and aspects)

retrograde - when the earth is orbiting past the planet at a faster pace than that planet is moving, so the other planet appears to be moving backward. you may have heard of the mercury retrograde before, as people generally like to blame all their shortcomings on it! while its true, everything seems to be knocked into a real tizzy during a retrograde, it’s also a good time to reevaluate and work out the bugs in your life, especially in the area of the planet affected!

stellium - when, in your natal chart, three or more planets are in the same sign. if you have a stellium in your chart, the qualities of the sign may play a bigger role in your life than your “big three” signs. not everyone has a stellium, so don’t get freaked if you don’t have one!

transit - this is basically when a planet moves at all! new transits happen all the time, so astrology is never boring. to keep an eye on transits and big events, check out an ephemeris!

#originals #astrology #astrology terms #astrology glossary #glossary #aspect #aspects #birth chart #natal chart #retrograde #stellium #transit #astrology 101

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stuclyblrs · 7 years

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hi everyone !!!! i’m a rising freshman at college/uni and thinking back on the college apps process i realized that i learned a lot that i would like to share !! i was successful with my college apps so im hoping i can give good advice✨

want to see more of this series? click here for the rest of the posts !!

the basics

tbh i personally loved going on campus tours !!! i think they are a very important aspect of the application process and shouldn’t be overlooked. a campus tour can easily make or break ur college list. additionally, if it wasn’t for campus tours, i would’ve never found the ~perfect~ school 4 me

scheduling - a lot of posts abt tours i’ve seen say to try and go when class is in schedule to get the campus vibe but tbh even if u go during the summer u can still get a good feel of what the school is gonna be like i only did my tours over the summer and u can still get a rly good feel based on the campus itself and the small number of students are there !

info sessions - if an info session is offered before the tour then please try and go to it ! they provide some of the basics about a school and often have a small q&a session with the admissions officer running it

the tour itself - if you can hang around the front of the group. this will allow you to hear better, easily ask questions, and possibly overhear someone else asking a question that you might not of thought of. just trying not to constantly invade your guide’s personal space or bombard them with so many questions that they can’t give anyone else attention

ask for what you want to see - idk whose idea this was but so many tours that i went on did not show a classroom which makes no sense since you are here to learn. if you do not visit a classroom or any other facility you would like to see (for me, i made sure to visit the main libraries), then ask after the tour if you can see one! i rly did not have a problem with this and most people told me where there were open buildings where classrooms could be seen. just remember that you still might not be able to visit certain locations as most university buildings only allow students to enter (it never hurts to ask)

with this being said, pay attention on tours for classrooms. while the tour might not stop in one, there’s a good chance you could walk by one so peak through the windows (if their isnt a class in session there - dont be creepy) so you can get a feel for what they look like.

why you should go - as long as time/money permit, then you should visit every college you can. like i already mentioned (and will explain later in this post), a campus tour can help decide if a school is truly right for you. going on a campus tour also shows demonstrated interest in school which can only be a positive when it comes to applying. the school will have on record that you visited there and then you automatically end up on their mailing lists (if you can’t visit make sure u sign up for the mailing list for this same reason). even if u have unofficially gone to a school hundreds of times do a campus tour

note taking

i didn’t actually see a whole lot of other students taking notes but i felt it was important in remembering details about the school and to gather information (if needed) for the why X school essay. i had a small notebook that i would write the important things from the info sessions, the feel/look of the campus itself, the vibe other students gave, the way the dorms/classrooms/cafeteria/library looked, answers to any questions i asked, or whatever else i felt was important. just remember to give your tour guide respect and pay attention to them more than your notebook

as you can see i took note taking very seriously

asking questions

this is super important as it’s the best time to understand what a school is like from an actual student. while they are there to sell u a school, they’re still gonna be more honest then info pamphlets

questions to ask

what made u choose X school among others?

this question is so !!! important !!!! i think this can help you grasp what kind of student fits w/ a particular school. if you end up with a tour guide who gives an insightful response, it can help reveal the values of both the school and the students. if u are like me and didnt have any top picks in mind beforehand or didnt rly know what you want in a school this can be helpful in understanding why people have their top choices and why they feel attachment to a certain school. additionally, if you are torn between two (or more!) schools when it comes to decision time, this can help u determine which school will be a better fit.

however, in my experience, many students tend to respond to this “i just had the right feeling when i visited the school” or some variation of this so you might not always get the best answer but try to get them to elaborate a bit more. for example, one of my tour guides was from london so i asked her why she wanted to go to school in america and what made her choose this school over other american colleges. while it’s not directly asking why X school i was able to get a more detailed answer to this question !

what are some unique traditions that X school has?

this ties into the previous question as it involves reasons for selecting one school over another but the main reason to ask this is for the “why X school” essay (i’ll talk about how to do these in a later post). not every school will have this extra essay, but many do so it’s important to be prepared ! this will give you content that’s more in depth and shows that you did research on the school

what’s the student body like?

are they super involved in service/volunteering? do sports function as the main social events? are people quiet and chill or major partiers?

while i talked about this in my post about researching schools, now is the best time to understand the ~vibe~ a school as. you should also observe other students around you and see what they are doing. you don’t need to ask the specific questions/similar ones that i listed, but make sure you get a general idea ! (unless of course you want to ask specifically about these things)

specific programs for your major

if you know what you would like to study, then ask questions about their specific program. (i did not know what i wanted to study, so i didnt ask these kinds of questions and unfortunately can’t offer much advice on how to ask)

ask about your tour guide’s major

if your major is not their major, they might not be able to provide much information outside of the general facts about it but ask about their major(s) ! i’m sure they’ll be glad to talk about what they are studying and it can give you a feel how the academics work in general about the school (especially if your major is within the same college/school @ the university b/c policies and whatnot will be very similar.)

@studywithanu has a guide on asking questions on campus tours written from their perpsective as a tour guide please check it out !

questions to NOT ask i can’t speak for tour guides on what they find annoying and what they don’t but just on the few campus tours that i went on i heard so much of the same bullshit questions (not trying to be harsh but some of it got to me). who knows, maybe some of these questions are only bad in my opinion but honestly i felt people could be using their time to ask better questions

what’s the difference between early action/early decision?

pal not to be rude but if u dont know this at this point then one props to u for not being completely obsessed with the college apps process as i was and two u have access to google.....it’s right there

but in seriousness, why waste your time on a generic question that can be easily found out and isn’t specific to the school you’re visiting ?? the purpose of the tour is to learn about one school not the application terminology. it amazed me how many different people i heard ask this

in case if u don’t know what the difference is i’m gonna tell u right here cause im feeling nice !

early decision - this is binding folks ! only apply ED if ur sure that your school is ur number one choice and you can’t picture yourself anywhere else and you’ll die if you dont go here. also u need to be able to afford it. the only way u can be let go of ur agreement is if the financial aid offered to you is too low (like way too low) and the cost will prevent you from attending college that’s it ! you can’t change ur mind b/c you think you like somewhere else better or somewhere else gave u larger scholarship. additionally, you submit your application (often november) earlier and find out about ur admissions status earlier (often december). note: some schools have ED II which basically is still ED, but you submit ur application at the same time as regular decision and you hear back earlier (normally february)

early action - non-binding ! apply to as many schools EA if you want. like ED, the application process is completed earlier and you are notified of ur status earlier too. unlike ED, you are not bound to any EA school and can wait to accept or decline until their deadline (may 1st is the majority for most universities). sometimes, a school’s EA might have a greater acceptance rate due the lower amount of students but the competition might be stronger so keep that in mind ! note: there are some schools w/ restrictive EA meaning you can only apply to that school EA and no others (you are not bound to admissions tho) this is most common in the ivies and generally you won’t come across it much.

what’s the average gpa/sat/act scores or what’s the acceptance rate?

again, why waste ur time on facts that can be easily googled and were most likely presented to you in the information session

this will make you seem uninformed and ill-prepared, which we don’t want. ask the best questions you possibly can !

how did you get in/what did u do in hs/what were ur grades

while i (thank god) never encountered this on a tour, i do know people can be very upfront with asking other studyblrs/appblrs these questions - maybe it’s just due to the anonymous feature on here but sometimes people are quite rude about asking these kind of questions

while i do not think asking someone with a study/appblr what their activities in high school is bad (as we are here to discuss these kind of things), the question “how did you get in to X school” needs to stop getting asked in general b/c guess what - none of us know which little detail of our applications made the admissions officer know you’d be the perfect fit for the school

instead try asking them about their current activities (gives you an insight on how the students are involved) and if they find the academics to be just the right level of challenging

anything that can be easily found on a school’s website

i know im basically repeating myself but if it can be found on the first few pages under the admissions section online or in any of their info pamphlets, then don’t ask it. it’s a waste of time - you want this tour to allow you to make an informed decision on if you should apply to this school. if you only go to learn stuff that you know is online (even if u dont know it off the top of ur head or haven’t looked it up yet) then what was the point of visiting at all ?

however, if you need more clarification about anything posted online (such as deadlines !) then ask away

is it right for me?

okay you’ve done all your research, visited all the schools on your list. now it’s time to ask are these schools right for me? should i apply here? there isn’t a right or wrong answer only you can determine if you should apply. since this is a bit more difficult to write clear-cut advice for here’s some examples from my personal experience

in case if you haven’t read my previous posts, the only factor i knew that i wanted out of a school was for it to be located in a big city, so all the schools i visited/applied to were in some major cities in the northeast. there was one school that i had high hopes for since it was located in the city but still had a traditional campus (hard factor to find in cities). however, upon traveling to this college, i discovered it’s on the outskirts of the city and a bit too far for my liking (i felt that if i attended i wouldn’t leave and explore the city daily, only on certain occasions if i felt like going out). additionally, i did not like the vibe the admissions officer that hosted the info session gave off. these two things were enough for me to say this is not the school for me, so after the info session my mom and i left and skipped the tour

when it came to the school that i will be attending, i only knew that it was my number one choice because of the campus tour. it was the last school i visited and while i had liked most of the schools i visited, i knew none of them were necessarily the “one” for me. they were all nice but my general reaction was just kind of okay i’ll still apply here onto the next school.... i hate that i can’t give a proper explanation as /why/ it was the right school (i always hated when my tour guides would say they picked their school based on a feeling), but yes i did have that feeling where i knew this was it. i could tell the students values aligned with mine, it was right in the city, it has an A+ study abroad program, strong academics, and more that i can’t put into words. if this doesn’t happen to you, do not be alarmed (tbh im surprised it happened to me) you don’t need to find the one for you to love your school. in fact, not having a dream school might be better b/c you can focus on your options logically and not get stuck on one school

a side note to this is my aunt always thought this one school was her top choice and that she had to go there but when she finally got a chance to visit, she absolutely hated it and later found a university that she loved (she still goes to football games regularly) don’t underestimate the campus tour !

can’t visit a school?

you still have several options to use even if you can’t visit somewhere (or even if u can these are still helpful)

virtual campus tours

youvisit - super neat campus simulation and some schools even have a virtual tour guide

campustours - also includes interactive maps

youtube channels

look for day in life vids, dorm tours, or any other content posted by students at the school + they’re gonna be more honest since it isn’t their job to sell u the school

school’s website/youtube

check the school website/youtube channel and see if they have maps or any kind of virtual tour

wow this was very lengthy so i rly hope this helps everyone ! if you have any other questions please feel free to send me an ask! my next post will cover basics to the common app so check back soon !

#appblr #studyblr #appblr18 #college applications #appblr 2018 #appse #this is so long i died making this #adkjcsjkd im prolly posting this too late for co '18 oh well #mine

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akokosblog-blog · 5 years

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Check this new published post on https://is.gd/QWQSrb

Things I Must NOT do in the New Year

It’s already a couple of days into the New Year and I’m going, to be honest, here, I still don’t have resolutions – not because I don’t believe in them, but because I haven’t had the time or focus (but mostly focus) to set them, but I am sure ther are things I must not do in the New Year.

Resolutions can be a little bit demanding, emotionally. Turning around to see this whole list of things you set up for yourself to achieve and all.

They’re great, but I haven’t had the mental strength for them. Which is why I came up with a stellar idea to write the things to NOT do this year, instead of ones to do.

The whole idea is less threatening and more fun. It may or may not be a good idea though, so just read on to decide.

I Must Not Waste Time

Stop staring at the ceiling for thirty minutes until you’re almost late. I wake up almost every day and stare into blank space instead of getting on with my day.

This end up with me being late all the time. This year, I’ll try to get out of bed the moment my eyes flutter open and get on with my day without rush. If you do this too, this is your year to change.

I must Not Eat Too Much

Trying to finish food when I’m already full. (Unless I’m at a fancy restaurant and I paid good money for my plate.)

I’m going to try to stop eating as soon as I’m satisfied and you should too. Don’t buy the lie that excess carbs will go to your carbs.

I’ve been on it for years and it’s never gotten past my stomach. All I have to show for it is big belle and a missing waistline.

My secondary school teacher used to say “Food was meant to keep you alive. If you’re not going to die, don’t eat it.”

I’m not asking you to necessarily take his advice because I won’t, but it puts things into a little perspective for me.

I Must Not Be Rash With Decisions

This point was supposed to be titled “Limit your spending” but I realize how vague it sounds so I’m going to make it more specific.

Sometimes, it’s hard to determine what we need or do not need (from experience) so I learned a little trick.

You know how boys asked us out in Secondary school and we’d say we’d think about it so as not to appear “cheap” or “easy-to-get”? We need to bring back that logic and apply it to our lives.

Imagine all the lovely purses, shoes and weaves are the men who proposed to you (I’m deeply sorry for this inaccurate comparison because we all know weaves are on a hundred levels above men, right?) and you need to think for a few days, or weeks (do your “Shakara beloved) before making a decision.

A lot of times, as soon as you get out of the store or leave the site, the items zoom out of your mind.

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I Must Not Wait Too Long

How many times have you sat and done nothing because you lacked enough motivation? How many times did you wait for inspiration only to be kept waiting? I’ve been there, more times than I care to admit.

This year, I’ll try to focus more on whatever needs to be done – whether I’m motivated or not. I’ve realized that a lot of times, discipline is what keeps you going. Keep going, even if you’re crawling (that’s a Chris Brown lyrics but it doesn’t matter).

I must Not Undermine Abilities

How many times do you water down your abilities in a bid to appear humble? It happens to even the best of us. This year I’m going to make a conscious effort to not play down my achievements or abilities, no matter how “insignificant” I assume they are, and you should too.

Say it like you know what you’re talking about. Not to water it down. Don’t say you’re trying, managing or just starting out – no one will take you seriously.

You determine the value people place on you. (I can’t remember what book I lifted this line from but it’s true).

If you’re typing, don’t say “I’m kinda a caterer. Lol.” No one has money to waste on “kinda a caterer”. Own it.

I Must Not Be Ashamed

One very important Things I must not do in the New Year is to be shameful about things, Shamelessness is a virtue, I wish that was written somewhere in our Holy Books. I have a long list of things shame has prevented me from achieving.

Also hope I fully grabbed that some things should be done, regardless of how we look while doing them.

Shame has stopped me from doing a lot of things. It’s kept me from connecting with people who would have been of immense help.

It’s made me empty my account because I felt like it was too embarrassing to say I couldn’t afford certain stuff.

Shame has stopped me from embarking on projects because I was sure I’d be laughed at if I failed.

This year, I’m going to put shame aside and do whatever needs to be done.

I Must Not Wait Until It’s Perfect

If there’s one role I play well, it’s that of Miss Perfectionist. I need everything to be in order, set, just right. Also won’t apply for the job until I meet ALL the criteria.

I won’t go out because my outfit isn’t appropriate or good enough and won’t contribute to a conversation because I’m not exactly confident. (This point goes hand in hand with the former and I’m only just realizing it)

One of the things that will count is whether or not you show up, not the state of your presence. So, show up unqualified. Show up scared and trembling.

Show up however you want but just show up.

I Must Not Hold On To All Bonds

Writing this headline alone brings about five bonds flooding to my mind. Bonds with specific habits, with specific people, with specific ideas.

This is about evaluating and having a total detox cleanse (forgive my terminology, I’ve been watching too much reality shows)

I have a bond with bread and mayo (Don’t judge) which doesn’t really serve me, unless you count the occasional pimples which I like to think are the children of that unhealthy union.

I’m not just sharing, I’m sharing so it gives you ideas of bonds you should cut off.

I have bonded with specific people, that I’m scared to break because I believe I might need them tomorrow but it really doesn’t make sense.

Tomorrow will surely take care of itself (if it doesn’t please don’t blame me).

The more entries I bring up on this list, the more ideas I have. I’ve realized that we do so much already. Sometimes, it’s not about doing plenty of stuffs.

Sometimes, it’s about doing less, because we’re doing too much nonsense already.

You can write your own list of things you think you should NOT do, and try to follow through this time. And if you don’t follow through on all, don’t beat yourself up. We still have plenty of years ahead of us.

Many opportunities to plan our special reverse resolutions in the New Year.

Written by Hannatu-Favour

#Bonds #Eat Too Much #Feel Ashame #I must not #Rash With Decisions #Undermine Abilities #Wait Too Long #Wait Until It's Perfect #Waste Time #Featured #Lifestyle

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