#im sorry yall im just . worrying but im gonna shush now lol

[izzy-b-hands]

finally convinced myself to apply for the Folx fund help since otherwise im just. not making enough to cover regular doc visits and T rn.

(more venting abt this stuff below the cut feel free to skip)

And as of tonight im out of the vial my housemate generously offered since ae is changing up T methods rn anyway (tho i did try to get out any leftover T from previous syringes in my sharps box into the current vial, in an attempt to save any i could, but it didn't work as well as i wanted it to unfortunately)

I don't want to detransition. I'm genuinely terrified of it bc even just my period returning these last months has sent me spiraling each time. I'm the happiest I've ever been since transitioning (despite any additional Life Horrors occurring alongside it) and i just. I don't want to go back. but I'm not going to rely on my friends and family to bankroll this too while i try and get back on my feet

im nervous to have applied and tbh don't anticipate getting it simply bc goodness knows there's a fuck ton of us in need of help like this, and im just one of many. but holy fucking shit a year of paid for care would make a huge difference. one less expense to weigh on me for at least a little bit, enough time to hopefully get into a better more consistently paying job so i could just afford the usual Folx membership as I would like to rn if it wasn't $89/mo (and even switch back to gel to have a break from the injections for a bit, but that's an extra $50, so nearly $150 for that which rn is Ouch and just not possible to give out monthly which makes me feel so pathetic and shit but i just. Don't have it at a consistent rate rn with the polling center job fuckery and my anxiety with the job)

I don't want to be taking help from someone who needs it more, but if they can spare a spot for me i would be in their debt for the rest of my life and beyond grateful

#text post #tw injections #to be safe #long post #also to be safe aksndkfn #god i just. i feel like i should just be able to make this money come from somewhere but i cant like i want to rn #and it's driving me mad bc i don't like not being able to pay my way and take care of myself but it's taking so much time #to get back on my feet without burning myself out again or otherwise fucking things up and i can't seem to make it go faster #ill ultimately be very happy for whoever gets a grant from them bc it's a wonderful program and im very grateful it exists #but i admit i will be happy at a level I dont think i fully understand yet if i were to get a notification that i was one of the ppl #to also get a grant for a year of care like #i joke abt the fainting couch a lot but i have anemia and vertigo & im a delicate lil fucker at times so #reading that might actually require something for me to sit down on before I'd fall down in very happy shock #im sorry yall im just . worrying but im gonna shush now lol

[n3tworksucks]

How do you think quackity would react with reader with baby fever ? (Btw I love your work!)

YESS AND IM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN MOTIVATED AND DIDNT WANNA POST ANYTHING I DIDNT LIKE

word count; 478

warnings; talk about children and idk

-aww yea idk how I feel about baby's lol

- like i think they're pretty annoying 💀 but sometimes they're cute

- and alex uhhh id think he's ok with babys

- like expressed his "hate" for babies once or twice but hes only slightly joking for stream or just to make you laugh or something

- but he doesn't hate them 

- he's just whatever with them

- yall have talked a little about having a family in the future but haven't gotten too deep into the topic because you both know you have a lot to do in your life

- but sometimes just at night when you're both in bed, you both will just talk about kids and settling down

- so you know he wants kids eventually but of course not right now and you'll agree

- but sometimes you can't help yourself feel warm inside when you see a cute baby playing with their toys in the shopping cart when yall are at the store

- or when you hold your few month old cousin or Alex's newborn family member

- you just can't help yourself but be in awe 

- and you think its not that noticeable but it is. people can tell

- even Alex can tell lol

- he'll looks at you with a smile when you're  playing with his little cousins on the carpet when you visit his family 

- he'll tease you when when your both alone

- nothing mean but just the little comments he make that lets you know he knows about your baby fever

- but you being you, you deny it saying you were just being nice, and he just goes " yeah yeah sure" with a smile

- but he's all just joking around and actually loves how you act towards babies or just kids in general

- and if your baby fever stays for a while then he won't mind going deeper into the topic of having a baby of your own

- and when he sees you like this he can't help but start to feel it too

- and it doesn't help when his mother always asks when you're both getting married and giving her little nietos

- but normally he'd shush her before she goes on

- but this time you both just smiled and shook your head which was a different reaction than what she's used to which made her excited thinking you both were gonna start trying

- but you both quickly told her you were still gonna wait a while

- but he does wanna get married and have kids sometime

- really he'd wanna do anything as long as it was with you and makes you happy

- so having a baby is on the to do list for you guys so don't worry lol

#quackity #quackityhq #quackity imagines #quackity x reader

[mintymiknow]

OKAY that part huh that "I need - we need ” part that was a bit smooth huh you even italiziced it huh I can see you 👀 hehe well omg after almost a month of me going crazy because of school things I HAVE FINALLY READ CHAPTER 6 and 7 AGAIN AND IM HERE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHINGGG YESSS AND OMG I WANT TO RANT EVERYTHING WHAT'S ON MY MIND I REALLY WANT TO but I might hit he jackpot-😏 so I'll try to tone it down a bit 🤐 so here's my theories or analysis or comments

!gonna be really long I advise you not to read this only my dear author if you ain't used to reading things like this!

Minho my dear you are smitten really smitten you can't even hide it from us readers you really cant hide it huh of course and Dr. Song I THOUGH YOU WERE A BIT CAUTIOUS AROUND HIM WHAT HAPPENED JASKDNDJKASNJDS both of them should stop makin me keyboard smash just shush😭

"Choi Jisu Choi Jisu..... the name is familiar.... AAAAAHHHH CHOI JISU OH OKAY CHOI JISU AAHHHHHHH OKAY OKAY" this was my reaction my literal reaction when I saw that doctor or scientist that went out that lab I can vaguely remember but yeah if y'all don't know Choi Jisu idk about y'all y'all not a fan of that group or forgot who is she I also do feel like she knows dr. song back in the days even though she told dr. song that she heard her name when sungie and seungmo were talking about her cause since she was one of their doctor/scientist or idk maybe she was one of the "classified personnel" 👀

Why why do I feel like minho do know something about the mc it's just it feels like it maybe he knows or he doesn't know or he holds back or he just knows some of the MC's back story or just doesn't know well who knows it's really getting interesting AND IM HOLDING BACK IM HOLDING BACK YALL🤸

Okay this is a bit complex but what if jiyeon betrayed minho because that organization that she went to or whatever she went to has something idk about that something or what if jiyeon betrayed minho because she was ordered to betray him like that lovey dicey thing or bantering that happened in minho's flashback was just a mask to hide her true intentions like she played with minho's mind and what if that agent that saved mc in the first chapter was minho himself or chan or changbin because agents are trained like for years and this is just 2 or 3 years after that incident and AND ILL STOP RIGHT THERE 😶

Seungyeon, Seungyoon whatever your name is idk about you idk about you don't make me hate you and this part is interesting what if mc made something or contributed to something (she is a top notch doctor/scientist after all since she was in SKZ) and that she did not know it was meant to poison and kill people. And feel like there are rare people who can like not only apply her skills but her intelligence in something trivial like this really amazes me skills and intelligence when put together omg you're like a code already if not then elite person ( maybe this is why she was a "classified person" since that sungie and seungmo did not know what truly happened to that specific incident or idk.. is she classified or not? she might be or not... we never know~ ) 😉🤸

OOOOOKAY ILL STOP HERE IDK WHY I GOT CARRIED AWAY THO 😭

I might got carried away and this ain't proof read too I feel this is ranting in someway 🙂 so yeah omg I'm sorry for sending a loong ask and I feel like it writing an ask too and I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO MUCH OMG IM SORRY T-T I ALSO FELT LIKE I DIDNT HOLD BACK BUT I HELD BACK A LOT THO😭😭😭 If you know me I love these kind of things and have been not noticed by people a lot and I have been reading, watching, and doin some binging about spy, agents and things like this for the past years and I feel so great to actually use my knowledge (not intelligence) for this one and I STILL GOT CARRIED AWAY OMG LILI I AM SOOO SORRY MAYBE ILL JUST DM YOU NEXT TIME OMG AND ILL STOP HERE ILY 👀🤧😭 imma sleep now 😭🌛

not proof read again T-T

Hello sweetie hahaha! Go ahead, I enjoy reading all your messages, rants and theories! It’s nice to know that you’re enjoying the story so far! And well...yes, I had to emphasize that part ‘cause Minho let himself slip a bit there ohohoho~ Since this is a long ask, I’ll put the rest under the cut!

Minho is definitely smitten, and it’s so amusing for us writer and readers to slowly watch him fumble over the feeling of being smitten over someone hahaha! He may hide it from mc, but he can’t hide it from us~ Mc is a bit better in hiding it from us, but she’s really just one big tsundere as well lol. Hopefully their walls crumble soon enough.

Well, I had no female names in mind, and because I stan that group too, I just used her name hahaha! You’re free to picture Choi Jisu as that Choi Jisu, or you can picture someone else. After all, this is just fiction so it doesn’t really represent or portray the person in real life~ Anyway, Dr. Choi only knows mc by name! Back then in the past until they met in present, she only knew mc by name! Like they never physically met, but she has always been familiar with mc’s name.

Oh oh OH! You aren’t wrong there. Minho knows more than he lets on, but what exactly is it that he knows? Is it related to the past, or completely and unpredictably something else? Ohohoho~ I guess you can say this is his way of testing mc to build that trust - to see if he can really trust her, and for her to really trust him.

Fascinating theories there! I did enjoy reading these, and I’ve been smiling here because it really makes me happy to see you all coming up with ideas and theories! You’re on the right track there. I kind of wanted to make the whole betrayal thing obvious so the reader’s will either go “it’s so obvious this is definitely the case!” but I also wanted them to think “it’s too obvious, it can’t be this!” So...hehehe, I can’t wait for everything to unfold so you can see if your theories are correct or not! 

Again, this is an interesting and fascinating take on the situation! I won’t say if you’re right or wrong, but do know that I like this theory, and it’s really interesting to see you come to this conclusion! It has been stated in the beginning chapters that mc was certainly involved with things she regrets, but the specifics and extent of it have not been cleared yet. As you said, even fellow scientists/doctors seungmin and jisung didn’t know the whole story, so really, mc kept the secrets well, and until then, hehehe please wait! I can’t wait to reveal everything!

Don’t worry about it, sweetie! This was so refreshing and fun to read and reply to! I enjoy reading messages like this because it gives me motivation to keep writing! I’m glad you’re liking the series this much, and I am more than excited to keep giving you all more chapters in the future!

#trust fall