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#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here
pezpenser205
·
23 days
Text
3am monday morning mood
#insert garfield i hate mondays joke here
#op
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#sui mention tw if you read further for some odd reason
#was highkey wanting to change my mind before the date came but now im not so sure thats gonna happen
#i dont have a lot of time
#2 days is not enough to get a job or change my mind so i dont even know what im gonna do
#i feel like im dreaming all the time
#'i dont know what im gonna do' is for sure a lie though i damn well know come on now
#its simple a + b = c math
#(im a waste of resources) + (i dont even like being here and am not a person anymore) = (i shouldnt be here)
#i think my family will get over it like none of them even talk to me anymore (not that i make it easy but still)
#i have nothing that somebody else cant have or do better than me its not that big of a deal.
#like literally i cant fucking comprehend what anyone would like about me anymore
#everything bad about me so clearly outweighs the 1/10 times i can be funny or dependable or considerate.
#im just taking advantage of others' compassion at this point
#when i say 'i am not a person' i mean that with 100% sincerity
#i get surprised and scared when people talk to me and have no concept of self and no real hobbies. im just empty im not even angry anymore
#im beyond unhinged tbh i have zero self awareness and feel like im the only person like me that exists and im rambling-
#-and oversharing all the time and talking over others because i fail to even really understand or consider what theyre saying anymore
#-and simultaneously i feel too unremarkable to be worthy of life
#i feel like im playing my entire life in VR like nobody and nothing here is real. none of you are even real.
#this feels the same as typing in a word document i just always feel alone no matter who im talking to or what im doing
#i feel like the only real person in the world and the only one that shouldnt be here
#i cant even bring myself to feel scared of death. im just. nothing. even when im crying i dont feel anything at all
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