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zabreti · 4 years

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the time has finally come for me to start expressing what i have been overwhelmingly feeling for the past week, since i started to properly listen to this sunshine of a woman named joanna newsom. i want to- actually, i need to vent a little about the album ys, since it’s the one i first listened to. plus my initial contact with joanna’s work and thoughts that came with it

even though i only found out about her a few months ago, i guess everyone knows her(?); if you don’t, you should. there’s not one single moment in which i’m not mad at myself for not finding her sooner. so fyi, she’s a harpist, pianist, singer and songwriter from nevada. according to some sources, she may be the most famous harpist alive today; i really don’t know about you, but it really sounds quite badass for me.

i started searching for her stuff after watching her husband’s - andy samberg - multiple interviews, where he would be sometimes asked about their marriage. i’ve been binge watching random interviews with people i like for the last weeks, and i found myself actually watching some interviews of hers before i even got to listen to her music.

btw, look at this fucking adorable couple. just look at them for a second.

first of all, what a lovely woman! each answer, each laughter, each little thing she did on camera caused an admiration for the idea of andy and her together to grow strongly; i wasn’t even sure if it was ok for me to feel so strongly about someone else’s relationship. my curiosity grew when i started to read the comments on these videos on youtube, pretty much 100% of them being about her intelligence, her talent and how her music sounds angelical, mystical and perfectly constructed. (let it be said that it only grew more and more as i watched every single interviewer asking both andy and joanna about how different their works are, and how different they appear to be as individuals; not only was suggested that andy would probably not rise up to such an intelligent, serious taste as to fall in love with her (he doesn’t even need to say a word for anyone to realize how passionately in love he is with joanna and her entire work), but also said that no one could believe she was actually able to be a goofy, easy-going, good-humored person because of the lyrics she writes. ok, i could spend hours listing the unnecessary questions i identified in these interviews, and how i get easily annoyed by these famous hosts assuming stuff or trying to create an uncomfortable environment; and don’t even get me started on the fact that most of the interviews she was invited to would revolve around her relationship with andy. i’m choosing to let this feeling pass for now, since it’s not my focus today.)

i couldn’t help but start by saying all this since i truly adore andy’s works, and nothing feels warmer than realizing two amazing people are in love and have a family together by choice.

i mean..... ??????? c’mon. greatest couple alive. try and fight me on this.

another interesting thing i found out was that she dislikes streaming platforms similar to spotify, which probably (?) justifies the fact that i never came across her songs, since i use spotify on a daily basis and have been using it to find new artists for the last years. call me ignorant, it’s fine, truly; but i haven’t heard of similar opinions coming from artists, and it made me even more curious to know what this woman was expressing, creating, thinking. she actually told larry king:

“spotify is a business model. it’s not good. it’s based on the idea of circumventing the payment of artists. (...) i’m not opposed to streaming. i understand that the world is shifting and that the way music is valued and monetized is shifting, and i’m ok with that. and i’m even ok with people not paying for music (...), i just wish that there was a better way to do it that didn’t only pay a company. (...) i haven’t heard of one [alternative to spotify] that seems built the way that i would prefer it to be built.”

one of spotify owners (owners or directors, idek and idec) even replied to her many critics, but she never changed her mind or retreated from defending even her honest, harsh comments about how spotify is “like a villainous cabal of major labels”. for me, that’s a badass woman. not only for expressing herself without giving a damn about anyone who might be offended in this process, but also for choosing the path that felt ethical and worthy, and being recognized all over the world for her talent while following her own ways. i know, right? simply awesome.

there i was, reading the endless comments on her interviews’ videos and wondering what the fuss was all about. there was nothing left for me to do other than to actually start listening to her songs. i could have done it by looking up her discography and starting from her first project, but somehow i stomped into the ys album, which was released in 2006, in youtube itself.

first of all, would you look at this freaking cover?

i found it absolutely gorgeous in each detail; in fact, i really wish to know if there are meanings in the little specific parts of the painting. maybe there aren’t any and i’m just trying to create a more complex joanna in my mind? sure, sounds like me. or maybe there are lots of ‘em and she already said it on camera and i simply missed this video? sure, sounds possible. i won’t lie, i spent so much time thinking about this cover... maybe way too much time. alright, on we go.

there are 5 tracks on the album: emily, monkey & bear, sawdust and diamonds, only skin and cosmia.

at first, i didn’t quite understand what i was listening to. and i’m not talking about the lyrics, i’m talking about the whole idea of the album, the artist, the genre. the conjunction formed by her high pitches and soft, delicious vocal variations, surrounded lovingly by the harp and the violins was very mysterious to me. at first, i wouldn’t be encouraged to keep listening to her. but something kept me there, seated, staring at the screen and paying attention to each second of it. it was an experience. a real transportation. i searched for the lyrics on genius, and anyone that would pass by my bedroom’s open door would see me completely enamored by what i was listening to, like a concentrated kid being told an epic, adventurous, huge, beautiful and complex story. that is exactly how i felt: in the middle of a field, picturing each image she described in the song; each figure, each feeling. she described it all in a way that made me wonder how can someone describe a dream so vividly, how can someone describe anything so perfectly, so fully, and not sound redundant, not sound at all boring. the way the melody and the lyrics fit together, as a gift perfectly wrapped and tightly involved in the most beautiful way. i repeat: it was an experience. it is an experience. this is not something you can listen to at any given time, at any given place; i would not dare to not pay attention each time i would plan to listen to it. this is how seriously submerged i felt by joanna in that moment; in that entire day.

all of this, all of this immersion, all of this dream-like state in which i found myself in, kept growing its roots in me throughout the entire album, in a way i needed to show someone - anyone - joanna before i even got to finish the five songs; and the first one that came near me happened to be my mother. while listening, she actually found it quite pleasing, “like some old movie’s soundtrack” when listening to emily, “like an 1960′s melody” when listening to sawdust and sand, and on she went about the entire album. and this got me thinking about how i would describe her genre; of course, after following her on bandcamp i found out i was actually listening to some folk/pop/avant-garde/baroque pop/chamber folk/indie stuff. sounds about right, but at the same time not right at all, for some reason. i believe it’s fair to say that joanna has a magical, rare quality to her music that makes it different to each one listening to it. i’ve said it too much and i’ll say it again: it’s an experience, a complete, true one. it ressonates with deep, personal places. and, strangely, it makes many people describe the feeling that urges to grow inside their hearts as “home”; and i share this exact same sensation.

i really don’t know if it makes any sense, but see: i cherish my alone time probably more than anything in the world. i have learned to be my own best friend in many ways, and being by myself in some quiet days, at my house, reading, listening, watching and creating is when i can truly be myself. with that said, listening to this album, i felt at home. it made me feel even more alone, and i mean it in the most loving, warm, hypnotizing way.

the ys album is a relatively quick production to be heard, even though it feels like you’ve been gone for hours, days, weeks on end while listening to it. the amount of literary, historic and philosofical references in the lyrics is magically overwhelming; i simply wasn’t able to snap out of it for a long time, and i have, to this day, re-listened to the album about 5 times. still reading the lyrics again and again, still grasping at some expressions faintly but amazed, still finding out about hidden and not so hidden meanings behind each track. still defining it, every single day.

i hope for the great discoveries i feel like pursuing from her work, and the diverse new singers, song-writers, harpists, pianists, violinists, chellists and musicists in general i’ll try to find, understand and support from now on. i’m thankful for finding out how much i love the mix between an orchestra-like atmosphere and a sweet, honest voice ringing in my ears; and how the words assembled together feels like a psychography.

i thank the universe every single day for the opportunity to discover people like joanna newsom.

#r #joanna newsom #ys #joanna newsom ys #review #shes a mystical creature and i could not be happier to have found such a raw talent #i seem to seriously not get bored of her and talking about her in general #literally everyone around me during quarentine has heard me talking about this woman #album review #ys review #music review #newberg #andy samberg #m

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fayecompositions-blog · 7 years

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magnum opus

It’s finally here! The release of my newest written work has arrived and I will first share it with you, my dedicated followers. This is a profile that I wrote about my friend’s lifestyle and mindset. I like to think of it as a little reminder to always think positive, because “once you have hit the bottom, there is no where left to go but up.”

Be sure to leave me some feedback, I would appreciate it so much!

//y.f

A Look into the Life of Luis A. Diaz Soto

Yumna Fayyaz

An optimist, an aspiring nurse, and a family man. These are all attributes of Luis A. Diaz Soto. At only 17 years old, Luis is a man with great focus and motivation, and he has no one to thank but the people who surround him. Luis uses the people in his life for inspiration everyday, and tries to embody the good he sees in them. Luis also hopes that pieces of himself are left within the people he meets. Though Luis is shaped by his friends, no one means more to him than his parents. Being immigrants, Luis is proud of his parents for looking out for their family and working hard to bring them to a better state of living. Luis dreams of one day being as strong as his parents are, and to have a big, loving family of his own. Making his parents happy is what Luis says to be his greatest achievement. By getting into his top choice program at Ryerson University for nursing, Luis knows he can eventually repay his parents for all they have done for him.

It may not show through his overwhelmingly positive personality, but there have obviously been obstacles Luis has had to overcome. Namely, Luis struggles with finding a balance between family, friends, work and school. Luis is employed at Shopper’s Drug Mart, working long hours that go up until midnight. Because of this, most of Luis’ school nights are spent awake completing homework and assignments. Procrastination is Luis’ biggest enemy, and he easily falls victim to it when it comes to friends. People are often times distracting to Luis, and these distractions lead to the lack of his completed work. Additionally, Luis goes out of his way to please all those around him, even if it results in self-sabotage. Luis can be too caring, and he loses sense of his own priorities when it comes to helping out a friend. In a way, Luis uses his friends as an excuse to turn a blind eye to his personal tasks, as being a good friend becomes another excuse to procrastinate. Furthermore, recently Luis reached, what he would call, his ultimate low. When schoolwork piled up, friends were absent, and family seemed preoccupied, Luis felt as though he had hit rock bottom. In addition to these struggles, the biggest obstacle that Luis has had to face is racial discrimination. As a child, Luis had always been labelled as “the Mexican.” At first, Luis did not understand why his heritage could be used as an insult or seen as a negative comment, but because of the constant stereotyping from his peers and the media, Luis’ mindset began to change. Luis began to feel ashamed of his background, and tried to hide the fact that he could speak another language. However as he grew older, Luis learned to embrace his origins and, like most things in his life, looked at the bright side. Luis made it his mission to represent Mexico in a positive light, and to reverse society’s close-minded views of his home country. Although he has faced multiple obstacles over the course of his life, Luis has always steered for the rational route, and learned that once you have hit the bottom, there is nowhere left to go but up.

You may be wondering, where does he get all this wise, positive energy? The simple answer is that it’s in his genes. Once when he was very young, Luis’ father said to him: “It takes three strikes to get out. You have to continue to fight and never give up, because you are never out on the first strike.” Since that day, Luis wakes up every morning, ready to learn from his mistakes, and especially ready to learn from his father. If he had to choose just one person, Luis would say that his biggest inspiration is his dad. Arturo Diaz-Soto, a father of four children, works hard for his family. In fact, he worked himself to the bone to be able to call Canada a home. It was here that Arturo and his wife, Lina, started their family. Since he was a young toddler, Luis has looked up to his father, and seen him as the rock of the Diaz-Soto home. Arturo works day and night to ensure his family has a healthy and secure lifestyle, and there has never been a day where Arturo was unaffectionate to his children and wife. Luis specifically admires his father’s altruistic personality, as he exceeds his work load and still manages to give his family attention, and hopes to be able to make similar sacrifices for his own family in the future. Luis mirrors his father’s personality traits on the daily, and hopes to one day be as selfless, hardworking, dedicated and caring as his father.

Luis’ smile radiates the hallways of Jean Vanier Catholic Secondary School. In fact, it’s almost contagious. Everyone in his presence is influenced by his positivity, but one would be surprised to know that Luis has travelled a long, hard road to get his confidence to where it stands today. Luis only recently learned to come out of his protective shell, and take chances. His justification is that fate is set, and that it is okay to take a risk if it means that you’ll get the experience. Despite the fact that he is always seemingly content, Luis is not exempted from living a life with a few regrets. Luis constantly reflects on his past decisions, and finds disappointment not in his action, but rather, in the lack thereof. Luis regrets losing bonding time with extended family when they visit Canada, he finds that his true background lies within them. Luis believes that family is an essential part of any lifestyle, so being apart from his own family upsets him. Luis is also contrite that he does not give significance to the little things in life that can go a long way. Luis realizes that a short “hello” or “goodnight” may not seem like much to him, but it may brighten up his parents’ whole day. As previously stated, Luis wants to repay his parents for all that they have given him, and he feels that by starting to acknowledge them and displaying their importance in his life will help to contribute to that. Luis also greatly regrets wasting his time when it comes to friendships. Throughout high school, Luis always felt as though he was a burden to those around him, an annoyance, the gum stuck under your shoe. It was because of this discomfort, that Luis was hesitant to form close relationships and find true friends. True, Luis found a handful of trustworthy people through classes, clubs or sports, but in the back of his mind, he still felt like as if his friendships were founded on pity. Eventually, Luis realized that the people in his life truly loved him, and that he was far from being sticky, annoying gum. The tragic part is that this revelation occurred to Luis in the final months of his last year in high school. Although they caused a lot of pain throughout his life, it was through these built-up regrets that Luis learned a very important lesson: it is rare for something to happen twice, but nothing will ever repeat itself the same, exact way.

“Plan for victory, prepare for failure.” This is Luis’ life motto. The way he sees it, you can aim for good goals, but you must never put yourself in a situation where you are lost. Luis has learned that you should always try to have control of your own life, and to always make a backup plan to fall on. As gaining success has always been part of Luis’ plan, his biggest fear is respectively to fail on his own terms. This fear prompted his dominant personality to always have things under control. Luis never disappoints, but when the situation is not in his hands, and he does not have it on paper, things start to go downhill. Long story short, Luis is a control freak, but being that way is the gate to his own path of success. That success is defined by having a loving family, with many children, and studying to be a nurse practitioner in five years.

Luis is a dedicated student, a reliable friend, a trustworthy son, and an accomplished person in general. In a shockingly short amount of time, Luis has managed to learn many life lessons and has passed what he learned down to his peers, siblings and friends. Luis has a set plan for his future life, including his career and family, however he is also prepared if that plan gets off track. With the help of his family and friends, Luis has formed into a positive, young man who is wise beyond his years, and has certainly left bits of himself in everyone around him.

//y.f

#mypiece

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epiphanyspeaks · 7 years

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Oh the layers and #levels to it all!! This is last midnight's meditation in Photoshoplandia...

I knew I wanted to create something with this #nude I took of #myself but had no idea what is was going to turn out to be. I have my unique process for my #collage work {:and it's similar to my life right now:} where I have no prior notions or idea of what's going to #manifest in the #creation and I just go for it! It hasn't failed yet, to effortlessly create #beautiful works of #art and life! This piece reflects the controversial issue of the value of women. No name for it just yet...any ideas? ++++++++++Actually there's more to this story… For the passed years I find myself being quite challenged in the aspect of generating and attaining monetary stability... and now that I come to think of it; creative stability as well. So I look to what I’m naturally good at. I remembered I always loved inspiring the artisté thru lending my figure to the artistic creation, so I’ve been reaching out to the LA community to get back into live modeling and muse work. I remember more effortless efforts in manifesting collaborations with artist, photographers and makeup artists and for the last years it’s been unexpectedly challenging and stifling to my own creativity that more collaborative and monetary work has not manifested from all the alchemy and support I put out inquiring about it. I’ve had so much happen and so little happen in relation to my success as “artist.” People have offered me jobs and taken them away or just plain did not follow through with what seemed like genuinely engaged interest. …and these days everyone's a model hence making it overwhelmingly saturated for the limited supply of quality paid work. So it’s been a bummer! I am very surprised I’m not working more within this immensely expressive community of artist here in LA. I admit, I know I'm not the dominant look for today but seriously -in as much humility as I can possibly convey- people tell me how gorgeous I am all the time!! Soooooooo where’s the disconnect? Perhaps the universe wants me to get a NORMAL JOB!?! Nooooo, I have so many other creative skills too. …but back to musing…I keep putting myself out there because I am a wealth of inspiration, beauty and skill in this! Eventually, finally a few weeks ago I connected with an artist who is looking to acquire a steady muse to inspire his works for private collectors and high end galleries. I met this “artist” who actually turns out to be a semi celebrity, of course with my luck - go figure, at a swanky Hollywood hotel where he starts to share his aesthetic with me. I see this glorious mysterious art for the first time and BOOM, BAM, POW, it’s PORN!!! of course, LA {eyes roll} everyone’s an “artist.” *I’ll be implementing the quotation marks as these days these labels seem to be desired but may not always be acquired and so leaving it also up to the observer to provide definition.* Ok, so in my past I’ve contributed to the creation of what is considered porn {Perfect 10 Magazine, fetish, boudoir, exhibitionist shoots and so on.. I’m sure there are a few sex tapes with past lovers out there} and I can see the beauty in our extreme erotic nature as well. However lending my image and participating to this specific incantation of “musing” would quite literally be putting myself in very compromising and vulnerable positions! This person wanted to hire me as a “muse” to be photographed mid sex work, to then take the images captured, crop and color adjust to pass off as art to sell for thousands of dollars! I guess he passing hit off as art! As ass art! Dang! Anonymous cropped in shots of deep anal penetration and giz faced women with no eyes, merely color shifted into psychedelic hues. To me that’s not being a muse, that’s straight up being used and abused, and I’m open to there being another lighter side of the situation…but butt. So sacred. I only allow committed in loved ones to get in there . ;) Maybe there are women who find a situation like that to be a dream come true and are gracious for such a gift…? Who knows.. In any case, not what I was expecting and not what I’m interested in. This “artist” has discovered and created quite the racket. Exclusively chosen women, chosen solely to agree to completely compromise their mind~body~soul for a comparable pay grade. Is this really considered art? I feel only because I know the back story of what I define to be degradation and abuse of women, position, money and good ol’ white male privilege that I don’t define this to be art, but if I didn’t know that and just saw this “art” on a wall somewhere, would I consider it to be art? Well, unfortunately I suppose so, even if it’s not my interest it looks consensual to me, so life as art is art. I guess you could say art takes all kinds. Though with this backstory: what happened to dignity? and what happened to treasuring one another with genuine heart felt reverence? Seems like there are still people out there that just want to get off and fuck around. Either they have no idea about the depths and heights of infinite worth a soulful and spiritual sexual relationship can bring to all… or they are afraid of losing control in something so lovely. In any event the scenario with this “artist” was simply an unhealthy, mindless and unconscious sacral energy exchange, photographed and unfortunately accepted as art. The fact that people feel the need to participate in such extreme sexual acts to feel acknowledged and validated is beyond me. I am astounded at the spectrum of grandiose delusion within our humanity. The audacity of what people think they need to be satisfied, or what they actually need to be satisfied! I also think some do it to see what they can get a way with, that whole “YOLO”, you know, way to be and seriously there are better ways to spend time on this planet. There are starving children and abused nails who need that money and awareness you waste on mindless sex. I wish situations like this weren’t true. I wish situation worse then this did not exist for me or you. I had half my mind to put this semi celeb out on front street to the public but I’m not interested in drama. Seriously. So don’t believe it if ya heard it. I’m very diplomatic spirit with a mulitview perspective. I mean I talk my truth when I’m stretched into compromising beyond all capacity of flexibility, and mind you I am hyper flexible! This has been essential tofor our ascension. I thank you for staying, for staying tuned in and tuning in again… p.s. not a perfect 10 writer #lifeisart #collageart #pieceofwork 🕊 🕊 🕊 #psychedelic #soul #artist #mystic #model #muse #enchantress #saturated #ecstasy #acid #goddess #poet #vision #spiritual #spirit #inspiration #warrior #queen #empress #magneticbrunette #womansworth (at City Of Angels)

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