#it’s just like the same fucking energy when they’re on the date she black mailed him into girl what are you doing

[eattheteabag]

i hope this reaches the right audience but Cameron’s crush on House in the early seasons reminds me so much of the episode of glee where Rachel is in love with Mr Shue

#it’s unnatural lmao #house md #glee #allison cameron #gregory house #it’s just like the same fucking energy when they’re on the date she black mailed him into girl what are you doing #atty speaks

[letscuttothefeeling]

season three episode three

Let me start off by congratulating the producers – not you Ish – on this great episode. I finally feel like we’re back to THE SHOW. Not a weird Bachelor spin-off with minimal drama and blatantly horrible editing (see: Juliette’s grad party scene, where Chloe’s nails change color DURING THE PARTY.) Nope, we’re done with that and back to the good stuff, so on that note, let’s cut to the feeling.

Come ON MTV it’s like you weren’t even trying. And yes, I created this, and no, I don’t have a life.

I know I’m going to like an episode when it starts off with the angelic sounds of my lord and savior, Ariana Grande. As break up with ur girlfriend, i’m bored plays, we zoom into Cara’s house. Personally, I’m hoping to see Victoria. Alas – it’s just Cara…and Garrett. God, Garrett STOP. Your ex-girlfriend has already outlined exactly how Cara is using you – since she did the exact same thing - and you’re still asking Cara on dates? This is so cringe. Where’s Victoria?!

Even though Garrett can’t score a date, Brandon can! Maybe instead of asking Cara to go look at babies, you should ask her to rollerblade, G Baby. As Amanda and Brandon glide around the Key, we learn that Brandon is celebrating his 24th birthday on Friday! And it’s “24, Like, Karat Gold Slash, Like, Pirate, Sort Of” themed, of course! He debates whether or not to invite Juliette while giving us viewers amazing helmet safety tips. Meanwhile, after Cara has removed G Baby from her property, she makes her way to Chloe’s to checkuppé on her. This is where we learn that Chloe has officially called the cops and filed a police report. I have a lot of opinions, but more on this later.

Okay, something I haven’t touched on because I wish it wasn’t happening I haven’t had time is that Kelsey and Jared have sparked a little romance. If you don’t remember, while Kelsey was dating her random LA boyfriend, Jared was the 86th person she cheated on him with. I see this going well! I mean, it always works out when you leave someone you cheated on for the person you cheated with. Right? Plus, there’s Twisted Tea and mudding involved, so Kelsey can rest assured she’ll be going on sophisticated and expensive dates instead of the shitty and poor dates that Garrett used to take her on.

FINALLY, the C + V scene I need and deserve. Donning a black one-piece that contrasts perfectly with her frozen fruity pink drink, Victoria is effortlessly exuding two polar opposite, chaotic energies. I’m getting “sassy”, but I’m also getting “I’ll fuck you up if you insult my 90’s Quiksilver skater shoes.” AKA, I’m getting Avril during the Girlfriend era. And I love it. As she floats next to Cara in the pool and shockingly proclaims that she’s not into guys, (what?!) I’m on my knees praying to God himself that she become a main cast member vis-à-vis a relationship with Cara. It’s Victoria’s show, and we’re all just living in it, baby. After Cara’s bizarre comment about how her parents punish her by locking her in their wine cellar (weird flex, but okay) Victoria giggles about how dumb Garrett is and we move on.

We leave C and V for a Madisson and Kelsey reunion, but it’s not a happy one. Madisson delivers the unfortunate news that Chloe may be pressing charges. Oh no! I would be really upset by this, but I can’t focus on the content of Madisson’s words because of how she’s delivering them. Madisson, we fully understand that you’ve been to an acting class in LA because you won’t shuttupé about it, so you can stop over-enunciating everything that comes out of your mouth. Thanks!

After Kelsey tells Juliette about her impending stint in Florida prison, she gets understandably upset. Luckily, Boring Robby is there to teach Juliette how to apologize. Don’t say he never did anything for her! I want to point out that Kelsey truly has been redeeming herself this season. She’s been pretty level headed and a very good friend. If only Boring Robby could do the same… Later in the day, Kelsey confronts Robby about another thing Madisson spilled during their meetup. Apparently, while Juliette was fighting everyone last week, Boring Robby had the audacity to applaud her! How gauche. Boring Robby vehemently denies these claims, saying, “Always take the high road, because the low road is way too crowded,” and, “Silence is the best way to react to a fool, and happiness is the best revenge.” First of all, stop lying about things that were FILMED on national television. You’re now Boring Robby: The Liar. Second of all, why are you the human embodiment of my ninth grade Pinterest quotes board?

Grab your pillows and sleeping bags because we are heading to a SLUMBER PARTY! But before anyone can start braiding each other’s hair, Chloe begins to stir the pot, yet again. She delights in bringing up Brandon and Amanda’s new relationship right in front of Madisson. But to distract from the awkwardness, Amanda changes the subject to her missing phone. After the fight, she lost her phone and no one has been able to find it. She starts to give us a play-by-play analysis of why and how she thinks Boring Robby: The Liar stole it. I’m sorry, am I watching Joe Goldberg on You, or am I watching Amanda on Siesta Key? 

It’s the day of the BG’s bday, and I’m so excited to see everyone’s 24 Karat Gold Slash Like Pirate themed outfits! They don’t disappoint - G Baby and Victoria are even matching!! I’ve never screamed so loudly in my life. Garrett obviously refuses to drink, and we’re off to the party. But first, there’s one guest who needs to arrive.

As Alex descends from his family’s PJ strapped with Louis luggage, a BEER, and fresh digs straight from the Siesta Key mall, I can feel the blood coming back into my body. I can feel individual atoms multiplying. I can feel my soul re-entering my empty, hollow frame. I feel exactly like Bella in the fourth Twilight novel, Breaking Dawn. After her half-human, half-vampire baby has eaten its way out of her uterine lining, Edward is forced to do the unthinkable: steal Bella’s mortal soul by turning her into a vampire so she has a shot to survive. (It’s the second time in the series that vampire Edward is forced to resist sucking all of Bella’s enticing blood to save her – that’s true love.) As she starts to respond to his venom, each and every one of her cells begins to freeze over and restore life to her body. Suddenly, she is awake. Her vision is sharp, her mind is clear, and she’s never looked better. And that’s EXACTLY how I felt as Alex exited his plane.

I expect nothing less than for Alex to arrive at BG’s party with three underage Ukrainian mail-order brides. And he doesn’t disappoint. Unfortunately for the brides, he immediately begins discussing relationships with Cara. It’s fun to see Cara pride herself in not cheating on people for the past year. I kind of feel like that should be a given, but okay. As they’re undressing each other with their eyes talking, Garrett is having an interesting convo of his own. Classic Chloe starts stirring the pot AGAIN by telling Garrett that Cara is using him. Really Chloe? Cara is supposed to be your best friend. What’s more shocking is that VICTORIA starts to betray Cara as well. This causes an immediate fight between Carrett. They leave the party and start screaming at each other in the jungle. I’m so enraptured by the fight that I momentarily forget they’re at a themed party and fixate on Garrett’s outfit. Why am I watching Garrett Miller scream in a jungle dressed as a pirate? Oh, right. Anyways.

Even though Cara and G Baby are scream fighting, the party continues to rage on. And everyone is makingoutté. Kelsey and Jared, Amanda and Brandon... something is in the air! It must be the pirate theme. #LetsGetScurvy. But one person isn’t feeling the love – Madisson. With Dad gone, she has no one to kish. Clearly bothered by watching her friend and ex-boyfriend eat each other’s faces, Madisson decides to give Brandon the sad news that Amanda is using him. Whether or not she is, Madisson has no right to give her opinion on the matter. And BG says exactly that. Good for him! Another person surprisingly not making out with someone is Alex. He’s too busy being an asshole to Kelsey and telling anyone who will listen that Boring Robby is bad news. Probably true, but literally no one can be worse than he is, except maybe Pauly Paul. In other news, WHERE IS PAUL.

Unfortunately, the next scene doesn’t involve Pauly or Victoria – just Chloe and Juliette. Juliette shows up after Chloe gets out of work to hopefully avoid jailtime hash things out. Now strap in because I’m about to explain exactly where I stand with the Chloe/Juliette drama, and if you aren’t completely focused, please take a 10mg Adderall, wait ten minutes, and check back in.

Okay, hopefully, you’ve taken amphetamines and can really dial in. Here goes: I realize that Chloe is a necessary evil - it’s an indisputable fact that there would be no show without her antics. No one is as shameless when it comes to talking shit and completely ruining their friendships for the sake of television. And for that, I deeply respect Chloe. (I realize that sounds sarcastic but I am dead serious. Thank you for taking one for the team, Chloe.) But I simply cannot stand when she gets what’s coming to her then plays the innocent victim. Obviously, violence is not cool, and Juliette should be embarrassed by her behavior. But Chloe knew exactly what the outcome of that conversation would be. She was banking on a wasted Juliette reacting horribly. With Chloe, you simply cannot win. Earlier in this episode, Chloe verbatim says to Madisson and Cara, “If the roles were reversed, I would have shown up at her house, apologizing.”

Now cut to this scene, where Chloe verbatim says to Juliette (after Juliette shows up at her workplace) “I really don’t know why you’re here, so if you can please leave and leave me alone.”

Juliette said it best herself – “Chloe is my best friend when I’m miserable. When I’m actually thriving…this type of stuff happens.” Let’s take a moment to analyze the similarities and differences of how Chloe and the rest of the cast handled Chloe’s altercation with Amanda during season one, in which Amanda broke Chloe’s nose and sent her to surgery. After sending Chloe to the hospital, Amanda justifies her actions by saying that Chloe started it first. So everyone is okay with Amanda decking Chloe. The fact is, Chloe started it first here, too. Chloe swatted at Juliette’s hand first. So why did everyone grab coffee with Amanda, but ostracize Juliette? Amanda even had a sit-down conversation with Chloe after her surgery expecting Chloe to apologize. The inconsistencies and hypocrisy present…I CANNOT.

Chloe acts like everyone’s best friend to stay relevant and betrays them the second it benefits her. While I do agree that Juliette is only apologizing because she’s scared Chloe will press charges, I think people who talk shit, unfortunately, get hit, on occasion. Until next week!

[panickedvulture]

Found this in my drafts, so I’m posting it with no shame to give this blog some life while I’m busy trying to deal with post-endgame feels in the mcu sector of tumblr:

So I had a dream last night that made me realize I spend too much time on this site because it included some of my mutuals and people I enjoy like @theuriearchives ,@yagirlcammmm ,@i-think-im-ready-to-go ,@canyousevmyheavydirtysoul ,@dunjosephurieimagines , and @andbeingblueisbetter to name a few.

I have very vivid dreams and since I write all of them down I figured why not write it here where everyone can see it.

The genre for this dream: a mystery.

The setting: A beautiful cabin (apparently mine) plucked straight out of a “Visiting your SO’s family for the holidays” or a “fake-dating for a visit to your frenemy’s family” AU, my personal favorite. And there was a snowstorm going on outside.

I should also mention everybody had their own appearance. Usually I attach someone’s name with the face in their profile pic, meaning about everybody in this I previously imagined as Brendon Urie at different angles and in different lighting. But thanks to my brain randomly generating faces for everybody, I will be greatly confused in the case that I ever learn what you actually look like.

So, the topic at hand is, as it always is, Brendon Urie. Everybody’s cuddled up on the couch and on the floor in their pajamas drinking hot chocolate, eating dessert, and writing/giving ideas. In the background AFYCSO plays on an old record player, the fire is flickering beautifully alongside some black and white videos of old Panic! performances playing on one of those old big-backed TVs with lines across the screen – at this moment I feel like I am once again a preschooler laying on my stomach and watching movies in a pile of other preschoolers at my old after-school program but I digress–

Then somebody has the audacity to break into my house.

Me being the host of this gathering, I feel obligated to check on the noise. It doesn’t help that literally everyone stops what they’re doing to push me in the direction of the mysterious noise before going back to talking about the size of Brendon Urie’s dick (a conversation brought up by i-think-im-ready-to-go, just thought I should mention that).

So I get up, the second my back is turned nobody cares and I go into the bathroom only to find it flooded because this intruder flushed literally everything it could down the toilet.

To name a few things, it flushed:

1) The monstrous dildo linked on a post by beautiful-tragic-fallout (i don’t mean to call anybody out but its been on my dash with every damn refresh for the past week), who i-think-im-ready-to-go and theuriearchives make a point to explain is out of the house buying us more chocolate-covered strawberries.

2) Every single piece of Pretty. Odd. memorabilia I can imagine because someone just has it out for that album.

3) For those of you who have seen Monsters Inc, the toys Boo flushed down the toilet in that one scene.

4) An entire manuscript that my mind recognizes as smut written by @xxip-smut

5) And pink, fucking, crocs

So I walk back into the living room and round everybody up, declaring we’re on a manhunt for whoever the fuck had the audacity to break into my house, and with that we separate into groups. Accompanying me is Cam who wields a flamethrower while wearing pastel yellow pajamas with baby elephants printed on them.

Eventually after getting tired of Cam pointing the flamethrower at my head even when in ‘resting position’ and scaring the shit out of me, we go into the basement only to find everybody else chose to search the basement and the rest of you have been arguing about who actually gets to search the basement.

Long story short, the basement doesn’t get searched.

Instead to deal with the tension, dunjosephurieimagines suggests we all go back to talking about Brendon’s dick. So we go back to talking about Brendon’s dick.

We sit on the floor in a circle in this basement not realizing its dark and creepy as hell, and if you’ve seen That 70s Show the ‘camera’ moves around in this circle to focus on the face of whoever’s talking. The conversation adds up to smut, theuriearchives pulls out a blunt and i-think-im-ready-to-go pulls out a gun, we start playing russian roulette. Out of guilt for not writing a request sent to me months ago because I suck, I give andbeingblueisbetter a free shot at me. Being a saint they don’t take the opportunity yet.

So anyway, being high and creative a thought comes to us all at once. This thought…where the fuck is @loverontheleft ?

Now we’re all mad and sad and scared and alone because where, the fuck, is cece? Everybody starts asking everybody if they’ve seen her, we conclude the answer is no and we all start freaking out.

Then we realize canyousevmyheavydirtysoul (codename: Sev) is being really quiet.

We all turn and just stare like “So um….whats up?”

Flash-forward, this is all of us trying to figure out cece’s identity, sev is just sitting on the floor smiling and reacting to everything we say with reaction gifs they pull up on their phone, meanwhile we’re all screaming running around, we’ve made a literal office out of this basement and we have glasses and slip-on ties on top of our pajamas.

Then there’s a noise upstairs because we forgot there was someone who broke into my house.

Y’all turn on me and push me up the stairs to my death, I realize this is the cabin that appears in the bodyguard series at one point (wonderfully written by canyousevmyheavydirtysoul, binge it), and in front of me is the super fancy dining room table. There’s mail on it, some envelopes, and I’m like uh no and turn around to come back downstairs.

But you’re all at the bottom of the stairs staring at me and threatening me with your knives and Cam’s flamethrower – where you got the knives I don’t know. I hesitate in turning around for a second so andbeingblueisbetter shoots me.

But I’m like, you know, walk it off. So I do and I go to the table. I’m terrified, break out into a nervous sweat, but it’s fine.

I go and open the folder.

And O - fucking - kay

If you haven’t read the bodyguard series or ready to leap I’m not gonna detail any spoilers, just the main plot given right away, and even if you have it probably won’t help this make any more sense. Here….is the story:

Our beloved Cece started off as a teacher, right? But not just any teacher, Ms. fucking Milton, who started a relationship with the music teacher of her high school, Mr. Urie, who in this case is in fact Brendon Urie of our universe and lead singer of Panic! at the Disco. But the deal with him is that he got tired of the fame and through extensive work he managed to get rid of all the files that legally point to him as being Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco. And for the first few years of his teaching, all the kids knew he was Brendon Urie I mean come on, but eventually the whole school and town settle on the idea that this is just one of those situations where twins are separated at birth and coincidentally given the same exact name. So boom, they do what they do – but newsflash, Cece is Y/n from the Bodyguard series and knowing Mr. Urie’s relationship with Ms. Milton, S.H.I.E.L.D pulls a Hydra Bucky Barnes situation in order to train Brendon into the best damn bodyguard the world could imagine because Cece is a valuable asset that needs the absolute best protection. Canyousevmyheavydirtysoul was like a journalist or something for S.H.I.E.L.D and witnessed all of this go down, knows every little thing about these two. So they get trained, they get close, drama happens, then they’re all put under-cover. Brendon goes back to being Brendon Urie of Panic! at the Disco, Sev and Cece are assigned to live their current lives and specifically assigned to write their stories for this Tumblr community to get everybody off their trails.

And then I look up. And there’s cece and I think…

“She is about to fucking, kill me.”

I try to throw the folders at her but for some reason I can’t throw anything in my dreams, so I get frustrated that my arm just won’t work, Cece in the meanwhile uses this time to approach me. My mind can’t even generate her an appearance and I think that she’s wearing a disguise because she’s like a spy or something that did after all break into my house to clog my toilet with dildos.

We maintain eye contact for what my dream-self recalls as a long time. I feel this energy in my soul I have never felt before and it is not fun, I don’t like it.

She takes the folder from me and gives me a red one.

And with her eyes piercing my soul, I get this feeling that literally has my skin vibrating even after I wake up, and I hear this voice that’s like “I know you know. And I’m watching you.”

So I woke up in a cold sweat obviously and tried to suppress this whole thing but it kinda lingered in the back of my mind all day. Then the weird tiny details came back to haunt me when I saw the elephants at the zoo. 

#I dont understand either just dont be afraid of me #about #Dream

[moneymarce]

||Bout this nigga named Marcel||

ORIGINS & FAMILY

Full Name: Marcel Alejandro Anderson

Reason for name: Marcel means little warrior. Alejandro means defender.

Nickname(s) and how they got them: Dro

Date of Birth: May 5, 1989

Age: 28

Gender: Male

Place of birth: Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Places lived since: Long Beach, CA

Social Class: Middle Class

Parents’ names, backgrounds, occupations: Tanya Anderson, Mexican and African-American, unemployed

Siblings: Marisol Anderson, 13

Relationship with family (close? estranged?): Close with majority of his family.

Children of his/her own?: Yes, Elijah.

If so, relationship with child’s mother/father?: Working on co-parenting.

Age he/she became a parent: 24

PHYSICAL

Height: 5′8

Weight: 150

Build: Plush lmao not chubby, but not muscular.

Race: Mexican & African-American

Nationality: Mexican-American

Face Shape: Oval

Distinguishing Facial Features: None

Hair Color: Black

Usual Hair Style: Either buzzed cut or curly

Eye Color: Dark brown

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birth marks, scars): Light bright with clear skin.

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): N/A

Health (usually sick? or very resilient? allergies?): Resilient, but is somewhat lactose intolerant.

What do they consider their best feature?: Lips or smile

Worst they’ve ever been injured (what, how did it happen)?: Broke a leg running the streets doing hoodrat stuff with his friends.

Ticklish: Nope

APPEARANCE

Style of dress/typical outfit(s): Laid-back Cali type of style. He’s either wearing his postal service uniform or a proclub tee and some khakis.

Typical style of shoes: Nike Cortez, loafers or Converses.

How does he/she dress up?: Dress down?: He’s always dressed down. He cleans up with a suit or blazer.

Favorite outfit: A proclub, khakis and Cortez’s. That simple.

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses only when he drives at night.

Personal Hygiene: Is this a question? Lol he’s WAY into personal hygiene and self care. Probably the most cared for nigga around.

Grooming (makeup? shower daily? wear only clean clothes? pluck eyebrows?): Who doesn’t shower daily? Dirty asses lol. 

Jewelry? Tattoos? Piercings?: He is always wearing at least one gold chain and bracelet. He has a few tattoos, but nothing major. His ears and tongue is pierced. 

What does their voice sound like?: Its deep, kind of raspy.

Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): He’s very articulate and well spoken.

Accent?: He sounds like a Cali dude. That type of vernacular and slang.

Unique mannerisms/physical habits (bites nails, talks with hands, taps feet when restless): He bites the inside of his cheek out of habit. He runs his hand over his head or the back of his neck when hes nervous.

Left handed or right?: Right

What does their writing look like?: Pretty neat for a guy. He writes small.

Do they work out/exercise?: The only work out he gets is fucking @rhodesasha and at work lmaoooo.

BELIEFS & INTELLECT

Level of self esteem: He fakes the funk at times, but he tries to have the highest self esteem.

Known Languages: Gwuapanese. Lmao. Nah, English and Spanish

Zodiac (sign and if they lend any credence to it): Taurus, somewhat.

Gifts/talents: He’s a poet- a natural talker, thinker. He knows how to express his feelings and put them into words.

Shortcomings: He tends to try to help everyone. Somewhat of a Captain Save A Hoe.

Most sensitive about/vulnerable to: Hes sensitive about everything honestly lol

Happiest memory: Marisol’s 1st Christmas sticks out to him. A time when his family was altogether and there were no worries.

Life philosophy: To just live and take everything for what it is.

Religious stance: Not completely religious, but does believe in God.

Political stance: FDT! He’s very much into politics, but not so into the parties and having to stick and choose with one certain individual just because they’re a certain party.

Pet peeves: People that touch his things and doesn’t put them back in their place. People that say they’re going to do something and don’t do it. 

Vices: Nah.

Bad habits: Trusting and loving these hoes. Lmao.

Neuroses: Nope.

Disgusts: Women that don’t take care of themselves.

Superstitious: Somewhat.

Sense of humor: Whats the question here? Lol who doesn’t have a sense of humor?

How do they deal with stress? Smoke a blunt, light some candles, take a bubble bath, talk through it with his girl, a friend or his cousin.

What do they do to get pumped up? Listen to music.

What do they do when upset? The same things as when hes stressed.

What about angry? The same.

How do they react to frustrations (get worked up, calm down and think through it logically, give up, etc)?: Some of all of the above. It depends on the situation surrounding his frustration.

How do they accept failure (both from themselves and others)?: Depends on the situation, but he just deals with it.

Level of comfort with technology: He thinks its great for certain things like being able to have the knowledge of anything in the palm of your hands, but it also takes away from relationships, communication, etc.

Believe in the supernatural: Yes.

Believe in an afterlife: Yes.

Believe in happy endings: Yeah.

How do they want to be remembered?: As a kind individual that did his best to reach and help people.

Good with their hands (if so, practical/crafting or fine arts)?: Yes in more ways than one *wink wink* lmao. He can build and put things together well.

How fast do they learn new things? Better with book knowledge or hands on approach?: He’s a quick learner. Does best with watching first and then trying.

How do they feel about asking for help? Depends on what the situation is, but his pride isn’t that big that he won’t ask for help.

“Left brain” or “right brain” thinker?: Right for sure.

Optimist or pessimist: Optimist.

Extrovert or introvert: A mixture of both depending on who he is around.

Leader or follower: Leader.

Makes decisions based mostly on emotions, or on logic?: Emotions for sure. Logic kicks in after the fact.

Cautious or daring: Depends on what it is.

Spontaneous or planner: Planner.

Thinker or doer? Both.

Organized or messy: Depends.

Worrier or carefree: Worrier.

Artistic?: Yes.

Mathematical?: Not really.

SEX & INTIMACY

Current marital/relationship/sexual status: In a relationship with Sasha

Sexual orientation (is it something they question or a secret): Heterosexual

Past relationships and sexual partners (if applicable): Only known person here would be Imani.

What is their “type” in regards to looks in a partner? He doesn’t discriminate.

Ideal mate/qualities they look for in mate: Someone caring, that’ll listen to him when its time to listen and react when its time to. Someone loving that cares about their family and friends. Someone with goals and that is actively working towards those goals.

Primary reason for being broken up with: Wanting the other to open up when it wasn’t in their personality to. Personalities just not meshing well together.

Primary reasons for breaking up with people: Same as above.

Views on sex (one night stands, promiscuity, etc): Sex is a deeper connection with someone and theres a swapping of energy there. Can’t go swapping that energy with every and anyone.

Age and story of first kiss (if any—if not, how does he/she want it to happen?): 5, it just happened.

Age and story of loss of virginity (if any—if not, how does he/she want it to happen, if at all?): 13, fucked a shorty that lived down the street from him. No story to it he just wanted to see what it was about.

Level of sexual experience: Errrr. Lmao. I didn’t realize it was levels to this lmao.

Do they have any unfulfilled sexual fantasies?: Not really.

Wildest/strangest sexual experience? Would they do it again? The wildest would be fucking a milf he delivered mail to when he first started working for USPS. 

Do they have any fetishes or kinks? Nah.

Have they lied about their previous sexual partners to current/potential partners? Nope.

Love or Lust: Love.

Ever been in love?: Yes.

Do they fall in love easily?: Yeah lol

Do they take relationships seriously?: Very much so.

Worst thing they’ve done to someone they loved? N/A People always doing shit to him D: Lmao

Do they desire marriage and/or children in their future? Yes he does.

Believe in true love or soul mates? Yes. Soul mates for sure.

Thoughts on public displays of affection?: Depends. He can either be really shy about it or not care.

How do they flirt: He flirts without realizing he’s flirting. It happens casually through conversation.

How do they show affection/love to their partner?: Physically, through his words and through gifts.

Thoughts on cheating/cheaters? Have they ever cheated? Cheating is the worst thing someone could do in a relationship. They’ve never cheated, but they’ve been cheated on.

Idea of perfect date: Something simple. He’s all about the simple things in life. A picnic, a 90s movie night, face masks and chill.

RELATIONSHIPS

Social Habits (popular, loner, some close friends, makes friends and then quickly drops them): He has a couple close friends, but most of the time he makes friends with people and then they get into an argument and the other blocks him.

How do they treat others (politely, rudely, keep at distance, etc)?: He tries to be the kindest person, but if given a reason to he will keep people at a distance.

Do they trust people easily or tend to be wary?: Trusts easily.

How often do they see friends and family? Whenever time allows him to.

Are they good at keeping in touch? If not, does this bother loved ones?: He’s good at keeping in touch with people as long as they give the same effort.

What is relationship with parents/family?: He has a close relationship with the people in his family. He talks to them about any and everything.

Any roommates or close neighbors: @livinin-sin

Person most dependent on: Himself or his cousin.

Most comfortable around (person): @rhodesasha

Oldest friend: His cousin.

Closest friend: Liucena :( But since shes no longer around, Riley.

Worst enemy: Doesn’t have any.

Rival (at what and why): Doesn’t have any.

Most important person in their life?: His abuela.

Who do they most respect and why?: His mother. Through the life she lives she continues to keep her positive outlook.

Who would they turn to if they needed help and why?: Depends on what type of help, but Sincere first.

How does he/she think others perceive him/her?: Depends on the person and their relationship, but he thinks that people tend to like him.

How do others actually perceive him/her?: ??? Question for them lol.

Argue or avoid conflict?: Depends on the situation and his energy level.

Thoughts on large groups of people?: Depends if its random people or if its family. If its random people he is pretty introverted. Unless it has to do with poetry, then he is open.

Main quality they look for in people: A kind spirit.

Have they ever lost anyone close to them? How did they handle it? Liucena left him :( He misses her, but hes handling.

How do they show affection?: Didn’t y’all already ask this? Lol.

Do they act differently around strangers than friends? If so, how differently?: Yeah, he could be openly himself and goofy around friends. Around strangers he’s more reserved.

Would they ever consider adopting a child? Why or why not?: He would. Everyone deserves love and to have a family.

VOCATION

Level of education: High school diploma

Profession: USPS Mailman

Describe their work space: A mess of sorting mail or on the truck to deliver

If no job, where do finances come from? N/A

Past occupations: Pushing that weight when he was in high school.

Dream occupation: An author, poet.

Passions: Art, poetry, activism

Attitude towards current job: It’s cool, he likes it. It pays the bills.

Attitude towards current coworkers, bosses, employees: He’s cool with everyone that works there.

Salary: $51,390 a year

Spender or Saver? Why?: Both. He likes to spend money and splurge from time to time.

Which is more important – money or doing something they love?: Doing something they love.

SECRETS

Phobias: None.

Life goals: To get books published while still working for and retire with USPS. Get married, have kids and travel. In no particular order.

Dreams: His goals are his dreams.

Greatest fears: Death, but its inevitable so.

Most embarrassing thing ever to happen to him/her: A girl told him off in front of everyone in the lunchroom.

Something they’ve never told anyone: He secretly wants to suck Sasha’s toes. Lmaaaooo.

Biggest regret: He lives life with no regrets.

Compulsions: Besides buying things he doesn’t need? None.

Obsessions: None.

Secret hobbies: None.

Secret skills: None.

Past sexual transgressions: No.

Police/Criminal/Legal record (Crimes committed? If so, were they caught? charged?): Petty crimes that didn’t lead to any real jail time. Spent some time in juvie though.

What he/she most wants to change about his/her current life?: Nothing. He is content with life.

What he/she most wants to change about his/her physical appearance?: Nothing.

LIKES & DISLIKES

Hobbies: Writing, reading, smoking, spending time with his girl

Indoors or Outdoors?: Indoors, unless its the beach then outdoors

Favorite color: Red

Favorite smell: Egyptian Musk

Favorite and least favorite food: Steak and lobster ; pork anything.

Favorite and least favorite book: Ballad of a Ghetto poet. Doesn’t have a least favorite book.

Favorite and least favorite movie: Friday. If he doesn’t care for a movie he just doesn’t care for it.

Favorite and least favorite song: Tupac-Changes

Favorite and least favorite holiday (and why): Christmas ; Columbus Day because obvious reasons.

Coffee or tea?: Tea

Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?: Smooth. Block him for me if you like crunchy peanut butter.

Do they watch TV? If so, what?: Yes, whatever is on.

Favorite place to hang out: His room

Do they like music? What kind?: Of course, old school and 90s hip-hop and r&b.

Favorite type of weather: Sunny, warm.

Favorite form of entertainment: Live entertainment. The strip club lmao

How do they feel about traveling?: He loves to travel.

What sort of gifts do they like? Whatever anyone puts thought into getting him.

MORALITY

Ever been in an argument (with who, about what, what happened): He argues with any and everyone about the smallest of things.

Ever been in a physical altercation (with who, about what, what happened): Of course with a lot of people growing up.

What trait do they find most admirable and why?: Honesty, lying is pointless.

Thoughts on violence: It is what it is, but senseless violence is ..senseless.

One act most ashamed of: I don’t know lol.

Most proud of: Himself, his career, his life.

Evil – born or bred: Bred.

Is redemption possible (if so, are there limitations): Yeah.

Does the end justify the means?: Depends on the situation.

Good of the one or the many?: What are these questions? Lmao

Can they be manipulative?: Yeah.

Do they think it’s okay to cry (if not, why)?: Yes.

When did they last cry and why?: When he found out the results of the paternity test.

Would they be able to kill (if so, under what circumstances)?: Yeah if someone is threatening his life.

Who or what would they die for (or go to extremes for)?: His family.

Anything they refuse to do under any circumstances (and why)?: Put his hands on a woman.

Biases/prejudices?: None.

What, if anything, shocks or offends them?: Nothing shocks him. He expects the unexpected these days.

What is their reputation? I don’t know.. thats what others think of him.

Cusser?: Yeah lol

How do they react to unwanted sexual advances?: This doesn’t happen to him.

How would they react to stranger being bullied/abused?: What about an animal?: Try to stick up for the person being bullied or abused. Not really going out of his way for an animal.

How susceptible are they to peer pressure?: Not at all.

How do they react to conflict, both verbally and physically?: His jaw will clench, his hands will probably ball into fists, but thats about it. His voice will rise too.

Easily forgive or hold grudges?: Easily forgives.

Forgive self or live with regret/guilt?: Forgive himself. Hes working on it.

Would they ever cheat someone? Under what circumstances? Nope.

Have they ever been betrayed? By who? How did it affect them/their relationship?: Yeah. Some of the homies betrayed him. He’s done with someone after they cross him.

Would they ever betray a friend/loved one? If so, under what circumstances? Nope.

Do they respect the belief of others, even if it’s at odds with their own?: Yeah.

Stand up for own beliefs or hide/avoid discussing them with people who have opposing views?: Stand up for his own beliefs.

DRUGS & ALCOHOL

Thoughts on drugs and alcohol: He’s cool with smoking weed and getting his drink on every so often or even a glass of wine to cool down with.

Do they smoke? If so, do they want to quit?: Yes weed and no he doesn’t care to quit.

Age of first cigarette: 13, but he only smokes one if he must.

Age when they first got drunk (what happened, consequences):

Do they drink on regular basis: Nope.

What type of alcohol do they prefer: That OE lol, but whatever he can get his hands on.

Have they ever tried other drugs (which, what happened, consequences): Nah.

Do they have any addictions?: Nope.

DETAILS

Most important/defining event in life to date: Finding out he has a son.

Daily routine: Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, do some type of self care, go to sleep and do it all over again.

Sleeping habits (Night owl or early bird? Light or heavy sleeper? Fall asleep anywhere or need specific conditions?): Night owl. A heavy sleeper. Depends on the level of tired.

Typical Saturday night: Chilling at home with Sash, watching a movie or something.

Most used word or phrase?: I don’t know lol

What is home like (messy, neat, sparse): Depends, but most of the time its neat. Everything has its place.

Type of car he/she drives (or wishes he/she drove): Toyota Camry.

Pets?: If not, do they want any?: None, doesn’t want one.

Most prized possession: His journal.

One word to best describe them: Multifaceted.

What are you likely to find in their pockets? Purse/bag/backpack/wallet?: His wallet, keys and phone would be in his pocket. In his wallet is his ID, money, debit card, credit cards and pictures.

What about their fridge? Medicine cabinet? Glove compartment? Nightstand?: The fridge is likely to have water, juice, fruit and leftovers. The medicine cabinet has aspirins, Pepto Bismol, Benadryl and thats about it. Theres a gun in the glove compartment. Jk lmao. Some air freshener and the car manual is in the glove compartment. His nightstand has a bible, his journal and the Ninja Turtle tin lunchbox that contains his weed and accessories.

What makes them laugh?: A lot does lol.

Any special holiday traditions?: Nothing out of the ordinary.

Can they hold their breath for a long time?: Not really.

Do they know how to swim? Yes.

Can they cook (if so, how well and do they enjoy it)?: He can cook certain dishes, but he is too lazy and doesn’t enjoy to.

Is there anything they always carry with them? If so, why?: A switchblade..never know when you have to fuck someone up lmao. Sike. Besides his phone and wallet. No.

Ideal vacation: Somewhere on a remote island with his girl.

If they wanted to hide something, where would they hide it?: In his room or closet.

Do they keep a journal?: Yes, but no so much as a diary journal. More a poetry journal.

Are there any places that hold special meaning to them?: His aunt’s house.

SITUATIONAL

24 hours to live – name 3 things they would do: Smoke a fat blunt, spend time with his son and Sasha, and eat really well.

If they could choose, how would they want to die: Quick and painless.

What would they do if they received large sum of money?: Not tell a soul or change anything about his lifestyle. Just travel.

What would they wish for if they found a genie?: Unlimited wishes lol

If they could have one super power, what would it be and why?: To read people’s minds. To know what people think would be interesting enough.

How do they deal with insects?: Pick em up and bring them outside. Sike. He kills em. Lmao

How would they react to death of loved one? Like anyone else would. Be sad about it.

If they were outnumbered in a fight, would they stand ground or run away?: Stand his ground.

Granted opportunity to change one thing in their past – would they do it? If so what would they change?: Nope. Everything got him to where he is now for a reason.

If they could rescue one thing from a burning building, what would it be?: A person inside?

Would they be comfortable sharing a bed with a person they didn’t know well?: Yeah. Just might sleep with one eye open lol.

CHILDHOOD & ADOLESCENCE

First memory: Him comforting his mom at 4 years old before she went and took him to the movies.

Favorite toy (when did they stop playing with it, do they still have it currently): A Buzz Lightyear action figure. He stopped playing with it at 8 years old. Its at his aunt’s house with the rest of his old things.

Favorite game: Operation.

Best friend as child: Sincere.

Fondest childhood memory: Marisol’s 1st Christmas

Worst childhood memory: Getting jumped into the set. 

Childhood trauma: None out of the ordinary for a black child.

How were they disciplined? Did that change as they got older?: Got his ass beat. Nope. He could still catch an ass whooping lol

What did they want to be when they grew up?: It always changed, but he stuck for the most part with veterinarian for a long time.

Any non-family adults stick out in their mind? (Who were they, how did he/she know them? Why do they stick out)?: His senior year English teacher. She made the class enjoyable, she believed in him and helped him out whenever she could in other subjects.

Age of first date: 16.

View of authority? What affected that view? Fuck the police. What wouldn’t affect that view? He’s had enough run ins with cops to know for himself that a lot of them aren’t for him.

What clique in high school were they associated with? He didn’t fit into any of the regular cliques. He hung with the homies from the set.

High school goals: To make it through, which he did.

Did they enjoy high school: He did.

Any extracurricular activities: Doing hoodrat shit with his friends.

How well did they do in school?: He did alright in school, outstanding in English classes.

#money$marce #L.A. task

[fromchaos]

50 ~little sarchengsey things~

1. who is the early bird/ who is the night owl?

well,,, they are all modern day teens, so not a single one is actually an early bird. normal bedtime for blue and henry is 1-2am, and gansey joins them when he thinks he can sleep. henry is best at mornings tho.

2. who is the big spoon/ who is the little spoon?

i’ve said it before and i will say it again: blue is the supreme big spoon. she hates being in the middle. if gansey’s insomnia is flaring up, henry goes in the middle. if henry’s claustrophobia is worse that night, gansey goes in the middle.

3. who hogs the cover/ who loves to cuddle?

they all love to cuddle when they’re awake/falling asleep, but they are all rude and grabby when they’re unconscious. the first few weeks they share a bed, blue regularly wakes up on the floor having pulled the covers so hard she launched herself off the side.

4. who wakes the other one up with kisses?

blue or henry depending on who wakes up first. blue cares more about morning breath, so she does it less often than henry. gansey has either been up all night and is too exhausted to be super affectionate or he’s too in his head when he wakes up naturally and sort of forgets the others are there. however, he very much likes morning kisses from his bf and gf U u U

5. who usually has nightmares?

HOO BOY. MORE LIKE WHO DOESN”T, AM I RIGHT LADIES?

6. who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ who would have them in the middle of the day? 

even tho gansey has terrible insomnia, i feel like he usually distracts himself and tries to stuff down the deep thoughts in the middle of the night, though he will engage in deep discussions with blue at 3am bc she likes it. henry’s late night thoughts are just faux-deep shitposts. then the next day they’re looking at the world’s biggest rubber band ball and gansey and henry are having existential crises. 

7. who sweats the small stuff?

ganseyyyboyyy does (but i think he’s also weirdly more zen after his 2nd death). he’s haywire in everyday life and deathly calm in a calamity. blue will get stressed if there’s A LOT of small stuff all building up at the same time, but is normally chill. henry can seem like a bit of a mess under pressure but actually things work out weirdly well for him most of the time. (think dirk gently lmfao)

8. who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ who sleeps in their pajamas?

i don’t think any of them have proper pajamas? comfy t-shirts and underwear all around. especially henry and blue stealing gansey’s t-shirts and underwear to sleep in.

9. who makes the coffee (or tea)?

gansey and henry each brought their own french press on the roadtrip lmfao. gansey usually winds up making it tho because one time henry was dared to mix a monster energy drink and black coffee and chug it by lee^2 and it killed his taste buds and his caffeine tolerance so he makes his way too strong now. blue starts the roadtrip hating coffee but by the end she’s a caffeine demon living off of gas station sludge.

10. who likes sweet/ who likes sour?

blue likes the two together (idk i find yogurt a bit of both so). gansey doesn’t really have a taste for either; he likes blander savory foods. henry likes sweet things, but more rich-sweet than sugar-sweet.

11. who likes horror movies/ who likes romance movies?

i can’t imagine any of them being super into horror??? if they watch a horror movie it’s just to rip apart the lore for inaccuracy. gansey and henry like romcoms and have to bribe blue to watch them with them. gansey’s faves are love actually and notting hill, and henry’s are you’ve got mail and he’s just not that into you.

12. who is smol/ who is tol?

blue < gansey < henry

that’s pretty much canon, but body type-wise i think blue is chubby all-over, gansey is pretty solidly built w/ broad shoulders, and henry is skinny but with a small beer belly lmao.

13. who is considered the scaredy cat?

tbh i don’t think any of them really fit that role? and when they do it’s because they’re traumatized??? i just can’t see them teasing each other for being afraid because they all know TRUE BONE-DEEP HORROR.

14. who kills the spiders?

blue carries the spiders outside. henry screams and gets up on the couch. gansey either doesn’t notice or just freezes in fear.

15. who is scared of the dark?

none of them usually? but certain scenarios can give any of them flashbacks, so i’d say more wary than scared?

16. who is scared of thunderstorms?

i could see henry being a little afraid of thunderstorms? and gansey is autistic, so he HATES thunder but isn’t exactly scared of it.

17. who works/ who stays at home?

they all work, but i’m not sure any of them have traditional 9 to 5 jobs? when they have kids, they probably spend equal amounts of time at home taking care of them. blue travels less at that point, but is sometimes gone for longer periods of time that she makes up for with long periods of time spent at home.

18. who is a cat person/ who is a dog person?

they are all cat people. blue loves all animals, but if she were to get her own pets, they would be cats. i’ve written about it before, but they have so many cats. they adopt like 5 and feed all the neighborhood strays and let them roam in and out of their home.

19. who loves to call the other one cute names?

oh wow NO IDEA who could that possibly be???

20. who is dominant/ who is submissive?

literally the only person gansey could dom is ronan r u kidding me?? that boy is subbier than a 5 dollar foot long. (then blue and henry are about equally weighted toward dom, like 6 or 7 on a scale of 1 to 10)

21. who has an obsession (over anything)?

obsession is literally what brings them together. they recognize that intense passion that drives all of them in each other. none of them could be with someone who wasn’t completely obsessed with something because it shows a lack of that passion. also, they’re totally obsessed with each other.

22. who goes all out for valentine’s day?

is it weird that i think it’s blue? she goes on some tirade about the commercialization of valentine’s day, how it’s a bullshit hallmark holiday, how it makes single people feel less than, blah blah blah, so henry and gansey figure they should keep it lowkey and just have a normal date or something. BUT the day-of blue has made them both extravagant cards and thoughtful homemade gits. because authentic love is best honored with DIY. (blue contains multitudes, y’all.)

23. who asks who out on the first date?

this is hard?? what’s a year-long roadtrip other than one humongous first date to woo your third partner? but real talk, post-trk, gansey realizes he and blue have never had an official date but also the only place in henrietta is nino’s and u can’t go on a date to a place u work, so they just go out for drives like they did before. and drives turn into daytrips. and datetrips turn into “oh henry you have to come with, you’d just love this place!” and suddenly polyamory happens.

24. who is the talker/ who is the listener? 

this like,,, isn’t really how relationships work lmfao. gansey is the most genuinely extroverted (henry can be super extroverted obviously, but that’s 50% for show), but unless the topic of discussion is one of his special interests, he’s more of an active listener than a talker. but a conversation with these 3 is basically all of them taking turns ranting because they are all very opinionated and have a lot to say.

25. who wears the other ones clothes?

blue will steal ur clothes and transform them so completely u hardly notice. both her and henry like wearing gansey’s shirts as pajamas, but they are all such different sizes and have such different styles that actual borrowing isn’t all that common. (tho blue does make clothes for henry pretty often)

26. who likes to eat healthy/ who loves junk food?

i don’t think any of them are super obsessed or even like,,, concerned with eating healthy, and they all have a good appetite for junk. henry probably has the most balanced diet tho because mrs. woo made all the litchfield boys eat dinner together on weeknights. (think traditional korean cuisine meets deep south comfort food, both of which love their side dishes) meanwhile, blue’s idea of a balanced meal is the signature dish of each 300 fox way lady and a yogurt. and gansey is an autistic boy who has been feeding himself for a few years, so he eats the same 3 things in various combinations.

27. who takes a long shower/ who sings in the shower?

blue is used to taking super fast showers with orla banging on the bathroom door, and gansey is perfectly perfunctory when it comes to hygiene, so henry. he makes 45 minute pop-filled playlists for his showers.

28. who is the book worm?

gansey. the others love reading and learning for sure, but gansey is the one with the overflowing bookshelves, half full of books he hasn’t read yet. and blue and henry like listening to him rambling about his recent reads like a human audio book because he’s a pretty good storyteller.

29. who is the better cook?

henry is the best cook, and he makes most of their meals once they’re settled down and living together. litchfield definitely had a chore wheel and all the boys took turns helping mrs. woo cook. gansey is used to eating takeout all the time, and blue only eats yogurt.

30. who likes long walks on the beach?

blue!!! she sees the ocean for the first time on the road trip and loooooves it. she’ll let the boys bury her in the sand without fuss because it’s like a lil warm cocoon. she doesn’t go too deep in the water, but she likes standing where the waves break and looking for signs of life underneath the sand. henry and gansey grew up taking vacations to tropical beaches on the reg, so it’s nothing novel or special for them, but they love seeing it through blue’s eyes!!!

31. who is more affectionate?

well i think it depends on the type of affection?? (warning: this is really fucking gay) henry is the most verbally affectionate with all the nicknames and the affirmations and the enthusiasm. sometimes he’s more reserved with deeper emotional statements, but he’s never cold or distant. blue is the most physically affectionate, wanting to be constantly touching and feeling her boys beside her. she always has an arm around someone’s waist or a hand on someone’s knee to ground them and herself. and with gansey it’s all in the eyes and the gestures. he’ll look at them like they’re magic and then suggest the perfect thing they need right at that moment. 

32. who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

blue and gansey have really long deep conversations together where they dance around and circumnavigate the issues. henry cuts straight to the point in deep conversations because he’s been thinking about the thing for ages and just wants to get to the point and know their answers already.

33. who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ who would wear “sin” t-shirt?

oh jeez. either blue and gansey wear “not guilty” and henry wears “sin” or gansey and henry just dress normally while blue wears the “sin” t-shirt while trying to look her most badass?

34. who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ who would wear “i am…” t-shirt?

the boys definitely wear “if lost return to blue sargent.” someone has to be the sensible one.

35. who goes overboard on the holidays?

they probably all do in their own special ways. blue spends all of december making gifts for her loved ones that are filled with love and couldn’t come from anyone else. gansey gets people the one big perfect present he definitely spent way too much money on. henry overwhelms them with multiple small presents, each inspired by an inside joke they share or an offhand comment the person made and winds up spending as much as gansey.

36. who is the social media addict?

idk if he’s a social media ADDICT, but henry uses social media the most. blue grew up without a home computer or a smart phone, and gansey uses both for only 3 things: schoolwork, research, and GPS. so henry is really the only one that uses social media a Normal Teenager Amount. and he loves memes.

37. height difference or age difference?

height difference. i’d say gansey has 6 inches on blue and henry has 6 inches on him, so sometimes when they stand or walk together they look like cellular bars.

38. who likes to star gaze?

all of them. stargazing is one of their go-to date activities, especially for blue and gansey since it reminds them of their early days. they both have special individual things they do with henry too, of course.

39. who buys cereal for the prize inside?

either blue or henry depending on the prize. blue never got prizes as a kid bc they only bought generic cereal in the big plastic bags, and now she is living The High Life (more like the small luxury millennial life). henry is probably the one that first points out the cereals with the best prizes. gansey eats the cereal because he lovs the cronch.

40. who is the fun parent/ who is the responsible parent?

i feel like they have pretty good balance here?? gansey is a professor/writer so he stays at home with the kids most often and is about the same proportion of stern/pushover with them as he is with ronan in canon lmfao. the more deeply involved in a project he is, the more he can be convinced to let the rules slide. 

henry is an environmental activist with a nonprofit and an occasional lobbyist, so he has much more typical 9-5 hours. he is probably much more fun than gansey, but their kids think he is insufferably, adorably uncool with his retro pop music and graphic tees under blazers and nicknames. 

blue does ecological field research for weeks at a time and then comes home and writes papers for the next few months. she has 2 competing desires as a parent: 1. make up for lost time with lots of spoiling and 2. make up for lost discipline and moral instruction with lots of discourse.

41. who cries during sad movies? 

gansey and henry cry really easily at sad movies but like,,, rarely cry over real life stuff. meanwhile, blue is the opposite because she’s pretty bad at suspending her disbelief when interacting with fiction.

42. who is the neat freak?

i think blue and henry butt heads a little bit here because blue likes for everything to have its place and hates actual mess and unclean things BUT her idea of neat is a lot more cluttered and homey, very much inspired by 300 fox way. henry doesn’t clean often, but when he does he wants things to ACTUALLY be neat and tidy and put away. 

meanwhile, gansey has his office where chaos rules and only he knows where anything is.

43. who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

they probably go to a carnival or town fair on their road trip and gansey and henry compete to get blue stuffed animals (only 50% ironically) and blue gets mad and gets her own damn stuffed animal and then for good measure one for each of her boys.

44. who is active/ who is lazy?

idk about “”active”” as in fit and sporty but blue likes to keep herself busy. she always has 5 projects going and likes to get out of the house at least once a day even if it’s just for a walk around the block. gansey has homebody phases and active phases. henry feels like he works pretty hard and has enough adventures to justify a little bit of lazing about the house.

45. who is more likely to get drunk?

i mean, on the road trip if they’re drinking, they pretty much always all get drunk together unless a designated driver is needed in which case they take turns. gansey has the lowest tolerance tho, so he’s always first to get drunk.

and while henry and gansey are at school together, blue gets a lot of midnight facetime calls from her boys, sloppy drunk and over-affectionate and cute.

46. who has the longer food order?

it’s definitely gansey, and it’s definitely 50% a picky eater thing and 50% an entitled rich white man thing. like, okay, gansey ii seems like a good dad but he’s definitely that guy whose like “i’m a paying customer i deserve to get exactly what i want and am paying for,” and gansey sort of grew up seeing that as pretty normal, so he gives all sorts of unnecessary extra instructions to the waiter.

blue’s like “u know u can just tell them u don’t want pickles or onions on the burger, right? u don’t have to teach them step-by-step how to grill it. the waiter isn’t even cooking ur burger, tho know she is definitely spitting on it.”

henry chimes in a very helpful “yeah, stop mansplaining the burger.”

47. who has the more complex coffee order?

henry. gansey likes black coffee or ridiculous fraps, no in between. blue gets really simple coffees and totally makes them over at the counter w/ the cinnamon and vanilla and cocoa shakers. meanwhile, henry has to inquire as to whether the beans are ethically sourced and ask about all the specials and what is most popular and what does the barista like best and after all that just gets the thing he saw recommended on instagram the other day.

48. who loses stuff?

losing stuff? excuse you, this crew’s game is FINDING (bunch of hufflepuff wannabes). the only exception is gansey pulling a velma with his glasses.

49. who is the driver/ who is the passenger?

they rotate on the road trip because like,,, u gotta. but i think gansey likes driving the most, and henry likes it the least. when they’re in college and blue comes to visit, she does all the driving in her ecopig. henry always calls shottie no blitz because the passenger seat comes with all the best jobs: music duty, navigation, hand-holding, feeding french fries to ur s.o. in the driver seat, etc. if blue’s not driving, she actually likes the backseat best most of the time bc she can fully stretch out across it lmao.

50. who is the hopeless romantic?

ALL of these fools. have you HEARD their narration?!

#sarchengsey #the raven cycle #trc #50 otp things #blue sargent #gansey #henry cheng #mine #this is so long omfg

[somethinggoodmusic]

I could write volumes about how 2018 fucking sucked, but at least the soundtrack was great.

Before moving on to my top 25 albums of the year, bear in mind that I consume albums in an archaic fashion: I pay for them (often beautiful vinyl versions); listen to them all the way through, in sequence, over and over and over again; and completely fall in love with them. These are the records that had my back during a dreadful year.

#25

Love in the Time of E-Mail by Antarctigo Vespucci Polyvinyl Records

#24

Freedom’s Goblin by Ty Segall Drag City

#23

Hope Downs by Rolling Blackouts Coastal FeverSub Pop

#22

Somewhat Literate by Retirement PartyCounter Intuitive Records

#21

Feelin’ Freaky by Falcon Jane Darling Recordings

#20

Plays With Fire by Cloud Audio Antihero

#19

Uncle, Duke & The Chief by Born Ruffians Paper Bag Records

#18

The Diet by Cullen OmoriSub Pop

#17

ocala wick by gobbinjrTopshelf Records

#16

Kill the Lights by Tony Molina Slumberland Records

#15

Francis Trouble by Albert Hammond, Jr. Red Bull Records

#14

Numbskull by The Band Ice Cream Urban Scandal Records

#13

Forth Wanderers by Forth Wanderers Sub Pop

#12

POWER by Des Millions Independently-released

#11

Twin Fantasy by Car Seat Headrest Matador Records

#10

boygenius by Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus Matador Records

I have no hesitation putting this EP ahead of so many great full-length albums released in 2018. Look past its six-song tracklist and you’ll see this debut offering from indie super-group boygenius — comprising Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus — has more creative energy than almost anything else on this list.

And how could it not? Baker, Bridgers and Dacus are all indie superstars in their early-20s, all entering the height of their powers after releasing career-making solo records in 2017 and 2018. And those six songs? They’re not just throwaway tracks — they’re some of the best songs any of them have ever written. But more impressively to me, they’re not simply Baker, Bridgers or Dacus solo tracks with three-part harmonies jammed in — the trio put tremendous care in crafting something completely original and beautiful.

For more on boygenius, read my post (and listen to the playlist) from a few weeks back.

#9

Clean by Soccer Mommy Fat Possum Records

Nashville-based songstress Sophie Allison delivered an indie rock classic on her new LP Clean, defying critics of her preceding record Collection. In fact, this might have been a motivating factor: at a recent Soccer Mommy show at D.C.’s Black Cat, Allison noted her (somewhat feigned) surprise when a reference to Collection drew a healthy cheer from the sold-out crowd.

For context, Collection marks Soccer Mommy’s transition from DIY bedroom pop project to full-fledged indie rock band, and set the mold for an amazing follow-up. On Clean, Allison’s singing and songwriting are bolder, the sound is more robust, her full band is on-point — and — now the future looks very bright.

#8

Where We Were Together by Say Sue Me Damnably

I play Korean guitar pop band Say Sue Me’s debut LP a lot. It’s meticulously crafted, expertly performed and infectiously-fun — until the final track, when everything the quartet built comes tumbling down in a brilliant and emotional album-closer, “Coming to the End,” which is punctuated by a jaw-dropping extended guitar solo.

Like, I can’t hype up this solo enough — it emotes in the same way as the saxophone in “Jungleland” and or the slide guitar in “Layla’s” coda. It’s simultaneously thrilling and gut-wrenching as you hinge on the solo’s every twist and turn, set against pounding drums and crashing cymbals. It’s my favorite musical moment of 2018.

#7

Lush by Snail Mail Matador Records

Before hearing Snail Mail AKA Lindsey Jordan’s debut LP Lush, I scoffed somewhat at Pitchfork Senior Editor Ryan Dombal’s assertion that the record “encompasses the once and future sound of indie rock.” Not that I wasn’t already impressed with Snail Mail’s preceding, self-recorded EPs — made before the Maryland native turned 18 — but that’s a BIG statement for anyone.

After hearing the album, though, I was like “Yep! Good call!”

“Pristine” is one of the record’s best tracks, but it’s also a fine description for Lush itself — every sound is polished and precise, but never manufactured; while Jordan’s songwriting already rivals the best in the game. And I’m not going to do that “for her age” bullshit — Jordan is a tremendous talent that’s touring her ass off, headlining shows around the world. We’re past that.

#6

Fall Into the Sun by Swearin’ Merge Records

One of the most pleasant surprises of 2018 was the reformation of Swearin’ — which disintegrated in 2015 after the break-up of the band’s two creative forces, Allison Crutchfield and Kyle Gilbride. The Philly-based outfit initially pledged to forge on following the split, but that obviously proved difficult in the short term.

Fast-forward a few things and seemingly things are okay, both on- and off-stage. Musically, Swearin’ has never sounded better: Fall Into the Sun recalls the frantic guitar rock of the band’s 2012 and 2013 LPs, but there’s a new maturity in the sound, as well as an optimal balance between Crutchfield and Gilbride’s contributions.

#5

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Courtney Barnett Milk! Records

Courtney Barnett had a tough act to follow preparing the sequel to her magnificent, Obama playlist-residing, superstar-making first LP: 2015’s Sometimes I Sit and Think, and Sometimes I Just Sit. And she succeeded — however the intense pressure to meet astronomical expectations, which Barnett refers to on the record, seemingly took its toll.

Tell Me How You Really Feel is dark. It’s the album where Barnett stops being whimsical and starts getting real. No more missed connections at the YMCA pool — on the first three singles alone we find our hero battling misogynist shitheads online and in real life (“Nameless, Faceless”), calling for an emotional break (“Need A Little Time,”) and trying to cope with isolation/loneliness (“City Looks Pretty”).

#4

Historian by Lucy Dacus Matador Records

Remember Lucy Dacus from #10 on this list? Well, she released an even better album on her own earlier in 2018. Historian, the (fellow) Virginia native’s second record, is a star-making solo effort on which Dacus called all the shots.

Between this and boygenius, Dacus used 2018 to cement her status as one of the indie rock’s greatest talents. An artist wise beyond her years, Dacus is the only singer-songwriter I’ve ever felt comfortable comparing to Joni Mitchell — which is among the highest praise I can think of for any artist.

#3

POST- by Jeff Rosenstock Polyvinyl Records

Jeff Rosenstock set the bar high and early, releasing his stellar solo debut on New Year’s Day and never looking back. That I’m still listening to the former Bomb the Music Industry! frontman’s album in mid-December is a feat in and of itself, but POST- earns #3 on this list due to Rosenstock’s unbridled exuberance, anthemic scream-alongs and dinosauric riffs. Fuck, even the song’s ballad (SOTY candidate “9/10”) has energy coursing through its wall of sound.

#2

Slow Buzz by Remember Sports Father/Daughter Records

If it weren’t a complete cop-out, the debut LP from Philly pop-punk band Remember Sports would be #1B on this list. I can’t really find a flaw across its 12 perfectly-sequenced tracks — each and every one of which has a place and purpose (as well as killer riffs and rapturous drumming). Guitarist and singer Carmen Perry’s brutal and brilliant lyricism is Slow Buzz’s secret weapon as she brilliantly lays bare the emotional toll of falling in and out of love.

#1

LONER by Caroline Rose New West Records

Not everyone struggles on their second album. Some, like the wildly-creative Caroline Rose, use it as an opportunity to completely reinvent themselves artistically. Rose released her folksy, roots rock-inspired debut I Will Not Be Afraid in 2014 but ultimately wasn’t satisfied with it — any anything. She described the situation (and more) to Pitch Perfect PR:

“I was 24, lonely, and realizing life might actually be as hard as people said it was. Gandalf had yet to raise his staff and part the seas for me,” she says with a straight face. “I felt a bit disillusioned with my music; it didn’t sound like my personality. I hadn’t dated in years, I was going to lose health care. I felt detached from the modern world.”

So what did she do about it? “I joined Tinder. I turned 25 and rented my first real apartment and painted it bright colors. I started socializing more and little by little, weeded out all my clothes that weren’t red. I embraced my queerdom. I had a girlfriend, we traveled the country, we broke up. I discussed politics, capitalism and Rihanna. For better or worse, I became a member of the modern world. Turns out the modern world is terrifying.”

Rose got more personal and aggressive in her musical approach and tried to be more sonically diverse with her new work. She also injected humor into the mix — leading directly to essential LONER tracks like “Bikini” and “Money,” but also giving her music a lighthearted, fun spirit as she creates vivid scenes and characters. Folksy, roots rock turned into decadent indie pop heavy on guitars, keys and synths. So yeah, she found her sound. And it’s unlike anything we’ve ever heard before — that’s why she gave it a name: “schizo drift.”

LONER is my favorite album of 2018. Rose recently posted on social that she’s beginning work on the follow-up — let’s hope it’s [adjusts tie] more of the same.

Hate reading? Follow the “Songs of SOMETHINGGOOD” playlist on Spotify and you never have to come back — but I’d appreciate it if you did.

https://open.spotify.com/user/somethinggoodmusic/playlist/1XgOCb4C0QVky14Qdj9mxL?si=UIsabN7NRD20Vdsi3lYEew

SOMETHINGGOOD's Albums of the Year 2018 -- feat. records from @newwestrecords @father_daughter @Polyvinyl @matadorrecords @milk_records @mergerecords @FatPossum @subpop @DarlingRecords @audioantihero @CIRecs @topshelfrecords & more! I could write volumes about how 2018 fucking sucked, but at least the soundtrack was great.

#Albert Hammond Jr. #Antarctigo Vespucci #Audio Antihero #Born Ruffians #boygenius #Car Seat Headrest #Caroline Rose #Cloud #Counter Intuitive Records #Courtney Barnett #Cullen Omori #Damnably #Darling Recordings #Des Millions #Drag City #Falcon Jane #Fat Possum Records #Father/Daughter Records #Forth Wanderers #gobbinjr #Jeff Rosenstock #Julien Baker #Lucy Dacus #Matador Records #Merge Records #MILK! Records #New West Records #Paper Bag Records #Phoebe Bridgers #Polyvinyl Records

[recommendedlisten]

We’re nearly halfway through the year, but that does not change the fact that we were already feeling the wrath of music content overload bearing down on us as listeners since the springtime. You’d think that now that we’ve gotten into the summer swing of things that might slow down, but this past month alone has been a monster alone, especially in the worlds of rap and hip-hop, and it’s not hitting the brakes any time soon. Here at Recommended Listen, this single human writing machine does its best to stay abreast of everything new and good from all directions, and in typical human form, there’s going to be room for error. Enter this year’s Recommended Summer Listening, which has characteristically become the strongest seasonal round-up of albums this site didn’t have a chance to give full-blown review props to, or flew under the radar upon its initial release. Take a moment to slow down with these albums, because great music doesn’t have an expiration date.

American Pleasure Club - TOUR TAPE [Self-released]

Earlier this year, American Pleasure Club, the band led by experimental rock shape-shifter Sam Ray, put out their career best in the mostly lovely, sometimes ugly, fragmented effort A Whole Fucking Lifetime of This. Ray is a prolific songwriter who also never fully puts down his creative arm, and even out on the road in support of that album, he managed to assemble an entire album’s worth of new songs equally recommended for its surprising turns with TOUR TAPE. The self-released collection steps off from where its predecessor left off in swimming into sunny, psychedelic waters of acoustic indie pop ballads, fizzling pop-punk, and warped experimental electronic samples, but as the listen wears on, Ray shows sharp new teeth off by gnashing screamo and black metal influences into his ever-expanding soundscape. For the season’s adventurers, this one keeps your senses on edge.

Culture Abuse - Bay Dream [Epitaph Records]

Bay Dream does more than just encapsulate the warm sun beating down on you as you cruise through the highway, or sink your skin into the sand. It’s a mindset that has been cultivating itself these last few years into a satisfyingly dirty craft brew known as Culture Abuse. The sophomore effort and first since the San Francisco garage punks signed to Epitaph Records rounds off a lot of the scraggly edges heard in their 2016 breakout Peach by sedating their sound with high hooks of self-care and an absolved stoner slackerism that in turn exhales a lot of their youthful angst in exchange for mellowed out posi anthems. For lead singer David Kelling, the album reps a transitional growth spurt experienced down the SoCal coastline, and he brings plenty of punk philosophies about life and every kind of relationship in tow to bake under while you’re catching a vibe.

Gang Gang Dance - Kazuashita [4AD]

A band like Gang Gang Dance can step out of focus for years and yet seamlessly return into the lens, because their sound is one that has always existed outside of proper time and space. As veterans of NYC’s experimental rock scene of its golden age Aughts, they’ve contributed many things to the way their auditory creations have challenged our perceptions on reality, be it an undefinable noise ruminating through the void, psychedelic transcendentalists, and synthetic celestial bodies, but with their first movement in 7 years on Kazuashita, the trio are inhabiting a formation that defies physicality as a hazy orb shape-shifting in radiance as it moves through our world, bringing both calm and chaos with it. That these are tumultuous times to be alive influence which polarity you hear throughout the listen where political statements needn’t any explicit statement -- Their new age ambiance carries our nature through them just as well.

gobbinjr - ocala wick [Topshelf Records]

Summer can be a bummer, too, and gobbinjr knows what’s up when life gets you down. On her sophomore effort ocala wick, the project spearheaded by NYC-based songwriter Emma Witmer serves up a full glass of melancholy indie pop lemonade at her stand with a bittersweet taste of self-deprecating thoughts and wry humor. Songs entitled “fake bitch” and “zitty mcgee” sprinkle a little extra into the mix, but her music is through and through a reflection of hard-earned self-care and pure DIY, having written, recorded, and produced it with her own two hands. “Good people feel shitty,” she sings poignantly on the album’s centerpiece “Sorry Charlie”. If the rest of the world outside seems kind of like a terrible place to live in, or you just can’t stand to see another humblebragging wedding and vaca selfie on your timeline, ocala wick is the kind of listen that helps you escape indoors. 

Forth Wanderers - Forth Wanderers [Sub Pop]

Fear of motion sickness during your summer travels? Whenever you put some Forth Wanderers on, prepare to get a case of the spins. But you needn’t worry, as it’s all experienced in a way that won’t be leaving you spilling your guts on the floor -- At least not in a literal sense. With their eponymous sophomore effort and first for Sub Pop, the Montlclair, NJ indie rockers may tie knots in your stomach and induce a sea-sawing sensation through wiry guitars and ebbing rhythms, yet it’s not just caused by the constant unraveling of riffs and making short on sharp swerves in their time signatures. Fronthuman Ava Trilling’s outpouring of up and down romantic contexts is a thing of strange beauty to observe in both narrative and prose. When Forth Wanderers map out their storyboard in words and action, their quiet quakes have the power to turn the world upside down, and who wouldn’t want to take a trip to that place?

Hatchie - Sugar & Spice EP [Double Double Whammy]

Aside from the unavoidable buzz surrounding Hatchie, something that has stood out in glaring effect with the dream-pop sounds being created by Brisbane musician Harriette Pilbeam is the uncomplicated clarity in her concept. Glassy layers of synths and an effervescent coolness in her singing voice is not a path that we haven’t heard tread several times over since the style’s inception during the ‘80s, but perhaps Hatchie’s version of it is surmised by the title of her debut EP Sugar & Spice --  Especially in the former of those two tastes. Instead of pushing her muse beneath the surface of the clouds, Pilbeam pushes the sweet and sour tastes of your everyday romance onto her music’s surface level, making their basic nature sound more interesting when adorned in textures that swirl and sparkle. If it’s a simple kind of summer love you’re looking for to no resolve, Sugar & Spice does its best to sort those feelings out for you.

Iceage - Beyondless [Matador Records]

What began as an exorcise in violence, nihilism, and anxiety personified in the least suspecting of scenes in Denmark’s desolate DIY punk basements has evolved into a meticulous exercise in shape-shifting art rock experimentation where gothic purveyance has subdued Iceage’s louder abrasions, but not necessarily their ability to confront the dark with any softer hesitation for a grander stage. Beyondless, the band’s fourth studio effort, is a new peak culmination in Iceage’s insatiable desire to further themselves, er, beyond the limits previously drawn in their musical style. The way the quartet wear danger and bleak existentialism in tandem with their bootsy grit is sexed up for pomp and glam in its incorporation of strong brass winds and cantankerous avant jazz fits. Elias Rønnenfelt has written himself a charismatic stage persona to match -- Consumed by the theatrics of a  rock god and the Devil himself at once. 

Kamasi Washington - Heaven and Earth [Young Turks]

For the long distance travelers of the season, Kamasi Washington takes you further out than you expected with Heaven and Earth, his latest grandeur display of avant jazz adventures composed with the special powers of the video game superheroes he invokes when aligning big brass purists and less discriminatory crossover crowd on the same universal plane. The double LP featuring 16 tracks average in 10 minutes in length each may as well be a quadruple one by today’s standards, though it also finds the Los Angeles saxophonist and his band in top form with cohesively connecting the dots in his experimentally sound genre reconstructions that encompasses free wheeling eruptions and percussive winks into the realms of rock, soul, and R&B. Heaven and Earth mediates his world of the weird and technically proficient with out current pop climate changes, and there’s more than enough sonic sight seeing in this journey to keep your senses in awe.

Rae Sremmurd - SR3MM [EarDrummer / Interscope Records]

SR3MM is the next step in finesse from Rae Sremmurd who, since breaking out with their 2015 debut SremmLife, have become the go-to assembly line for ready-made party mixers in the vein of fashionista hip-hop. The triple album, which also encompasses Swae Lee and Slim Jxmmi’s first solo efforts Swaecation and Jxmtro respectively, sees the duo separating their ids as well as feeding off one another’s cool energy as a cohesive unit. It’s black light trap, pop, and rap fused and filtered through three individual statements of artistry, with SR3MM itself especially standing out as the moment we finally hear the brothers Sremm scratch beneath the surface of their one night / club life endurance tests, or puffing out their chests through material wealth, and refining their sound with a pop singularity and shelf life to be looked at as more than just the music you put on the party playlist. Rather, in having gained full control over their fame and all the desires that come with it, they're perfecting a sound that defines what it is to truly feel full of life. You’ll still want to have all three on deck for your backyard picnic or beach hangs, though...

Snail Mail - Lush [Matador Records]

Lindsey Jordan knows the roller coaster emotions of being young better than most indie rock songwriters out there right now, perhaps because she’s still figuring out a way to deal with them. With her debut album Lush, the 19-year-old’s creative outlet Snail Mail invites the entire world into the thick of her Tiny Little Corner of Anywhere where the doldrums of suburban living collide with teenage romance and its ensuing anguish in a manner where even a minor happening in heartache is enough substance to soundtrack a turning point moment in the coming-of-age experience. How she does so is through a stronghold in sharp earnestness wise beyond her years with lyrical specificities wrapped up in slowburning melancholic hooks that might otherwise suggest what '90s indie rock might have sounded like had it been put to her eloquent pen in the present. Yet, Lush is through and through about living in the moment, growing pains and all, and Snail Mail is in no hurry to shake the ride.

Speedy Ortiz - Twerp Verse [Carpark Records]

With each release as the years have gone by, these pages have referred to Speedy Ortiz as indie rock collegiates, scholastics, or some other form of intellectualized indie rock entertainment. This being because ever since they arrived on the scene as recent college grads with their 2013 debut full-length Major Arcana, the combination of singer Sadie Dupuis’ verbose prose and she and her bandmates’ higher level learning of six-stringing has been the thing that has made them stand out in a pack of younger bands heavily influenced by the history of the thinking person's undergound. With 2015′s Foil Deer, they proved that they had studied every book inside the libraries at the University of Malkmuschusetts and knew how to use that knowledge to write their own chapter for the kids outside today, but their latest effort Twerp Verse is a selfless endeavor devoid of needing to prove anything to anyone. Instead, it's their most outspoken commentary on modern day righteousness made all the more digestible with some new tricks from Dupuis’ second degree in pop experimentation gained under semester abroad under the sad13 guise. Speedy sure cram a lot to chew on here about common decency, but rest assured, it will keep your brain in check while working on that consensually admired, self-cared, imperfectly perfect beach bod.

Sudan Archives - Sink EP [Stones Throw]

Sink is the second EP from rising Los Angeles-by-way-of Cincinnati experimental singer-songwriter Brittany Parks who, through her moniker Sudan Archives, is reshaping the sound of avant R&B by channeling it through electronic waves, subtle hip-hop booms, and pop undercurrents bowing through folky nylons strings. It makes for a hypnotic introspection in its sway, but beyond these glimmering facets on its surface skin, the soul and bones of Sink is an exploration into Parks’ evolving identity, be it as a young black woman in a frayed American landscape, or in how she embraces her cultural roots by utilizing her self-taught ancient West African violin tutelage to the fullest. It’s a promising early leg in the 23-year-old artist’s journey as she continues carving out a lane all her own from from the underground up, and build new worlds for listeners to travel in the process.

Vein - errozone [Closed Casket Activities]

The Boston legacy of heavy has long been a place where hardcore and metal collide with awesomeness, and that lineage continues to expand today with Vein, a group of Merrimack Valley thrashers who've amplified the intensity of the scene's groundbreakers like Cave In, Converge and American Nightmare, and bare down the void with their own young nihilism. Their debut full-length errorzone uses the framework laid before them and fuses its pieces into a sound of apocalyptic proportions where human adrenaline and natural forces smolder into the quintet's firestorm to form a death-wielding vehicle tearing shit up in every which way. Lead screamer Anthony DiDio is a reckoning on his own two feet, but backed by Vein's seismic riffs and pummeling storms, errorzone is unapologetically harsh in see that everything burns to the ground. Needless to say, this one feels best when walking on scorched sand...

War On Women - Capture the Flag [Bridge Nine Records]

Last summer, Baltimore’s War On Women joined the perpetually problematic, male-dominated lineup of the Warped Tour with the intention of cracking heads open not so much in the pit (although, there was probably plenty of that that, too,) but in broadening the world views of the minds of tomorrow. The traveling pop-punk circus has in recent years become a breeding ground for toxic masculinity, but the co-ed feminist hardcore punk band bulldozed right over them as frontperson Shawna Potter shouted out demands for equality in all walks of human life. Capture the Flag, their sophomore effort, continues the plight by positioning their activism front and center, louder than ever with a razor-edged execution through polishing up big riffs and hoisting choruses into crowd anthems that resonate immediately. For the kids who took anything away from War On Women’s set last summer, this is a reminder that their message will wave without defeat.

Uniform & The Body - Mental Wounds Not Healing [Sacred Bones Records]

The Carters may have the most talked about married couple collaboration of this summer, but it’s the unholy union from two corners of the experimental void that unsuspectingly creeps up on you with a most satisfying terror. On one end, you’ve Uniform, the NYC duo of  production guru and guitarist Ben Greenberg and the howl of former Drunkdriver vocalist Michael Burdan who’ve been making the industrial complex a hell on Earth ever since last year’s resounding breakout full-length Wake In Fright, and on the other is the Body, the prolific Providence-based noise metal architects who similarly corrode everything in their path. Their merged alchemy on Mental Wounds Not Healing is the formation of one heavy-hitting heartbeat, their beings inseparable through the static, yet forming a distinctly visible outline of every limb. It’s a mutually beneficial exchange in brutality that comes to blows just by propping each band onto the others’ shoulders.

#lists #american pleasure club #the body #uniform #culture abuse #gang gang dance #gobbinjr #forth wanderers #hatchie #iceage #kamasi washington #rae sremmurd #snail mail #sudan archives #vein #war on women #features