#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger

[thornvows]

also dorothea has 0 qualms asking her wealthy friends to pay for her stuff, or just take their money when offered. she occupies this weird space for opera folks, where they really don’t have a lot of money from their job but they can have generous benefactors. but any expensive gifts handed to her are really just that: gifts. it’s not her own money, and she can’t really live off pawning her trinkets for long. despite wearing gorgeous jewelry and getting a sponsor to be in garreg mach, she’s still very firmly working class, and she feels it. every day. especially when surrounded by all this wealth.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #pride? don't know that. dignity? can't hold that. #when dorothea says eat the rich it includes her rich friends #modern verse she doesn't rly do this #bc a lot of the money coming in is new money #and most of her peers came from humble roots like her #i meant to make this post a few days ago with the meme #all her rich friends bolding the ' i would give u my money ' choice #dorothea rubbing her hands: yes good

[thornvows]

dorothea to tharja, squall, felix, emily, hubert, and helhound: you’re all some huge fucking assholes who can’t hold a civil conversation to save your petty lives but i appreciate you anyways

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #i'm just saying. hand me ur hard to get along with muses #give me their teeth and all. dripping red or not. #the fact that dorothea canonically gets along #and even romances some of the most unlikeable charas in 3h eihriwugw #listen !! this is why i'm semi priv with her bc she will literally talk to anyone #and she has it in her to love anyone #bc she accepts ppl as they are #and never ever tries to change them #she's rly not that girl #if u want ur redemption or ur deliverance ur gonna have to get it urself #she's not here to be someone's definition of salvation. she RLY is not that girl #but she will open her ribcage to hold ur heart if u find it too heavy #or too burdensome #or too useless to carry urself #give her ur heart !! she wants it !1 #she just wants to love on her terms #whether its reciprocated or not she wants love she wants it she wANTS IT #anyways /takes a swig of monster #im off again and here's hoping i finish at least half my drafts

[thornvows]

but also literally dorothea is as kind and open and popular as she is because she has to be. because how is the world, and garreg mach specifically, going to treat her if she was mean and closed off -- if she spat back in their faces every time they did it to her, or threw back every bit of poison ?  she’s genuinely one of the sweetest and open minded and accepting people in the entire world and still the school shits on her. how would she survive if she did not try to make allies wherever she went ?  if she didn’t learn to grow and bend with her environment ?  

being snobby, burning bridges, cutting off roots before you get a chance to see how they bloom -- that’s for the privileged and the powerful and she is neither. and she doesn’t have a crest to make up for either of it. she can’t alienate herself. the way doesn’t lead to her isolation, it leads to her own ruin.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #me clenching my fists #i love dorothea so much...... #i love how kindness is a choice #and she very much chooses to be kind #despite having all the fucking reason not to be #anyways yes i do love getting excited #over small things in threads #that just make me think abt her character #gotta get that dopamine somehow !

[thornvows]

don’t mean to start shit or anything but dorothea loves pineapple on pizza and would make all her friends / acquaintances eat it

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #gany's post reminded me that i have Those Hcs #dorothea is an android user #she turns off her car when getting gas #and there's only a difference in taste between tap and bottled water #if ur water quality is shit #otherwise It's The Fucking Same

[thornvows]

so i’m officially becoming a divergent dorothea now, and here’s the list of how she diverges, which i’ve already updated my read page with. it’s really not much, and coincides with how i’ve already been writing her, so nothing changes honestly. it’s just important to note for any future interactions i guess !  might add / change more later, but i’ll post updates whenever that happens.

will be a weird pathologic / 3h fusion. meaning there will be some alluding to a fourth wall break, the tone might get a little self aware, will hint to all of this being one grand theater production and all of them actors, with dorothea occasionally realizing she, too, is merely playing a role, again and again and again

a role she has played repeatedly, has died for repeatedly, trying to help her friends and failing, then succeeding, then failing, and succeeding once again. then it repeats and changes, always, because such is the script. she has fun, sometimes. not all the time, though.

touches more on themes of futility and what it really means to be a hero and how that never matches up with what the stories tell you it is, what your own mind believes you should be. choices are an important and groundbreaking thing. she must live with hers, and she reminds that you must, too. every big and terrible choice. and none are ever the right one, necessarily ; you have one bad choice, and another bad choice !  such is your lot. learn to make do.

question: can you be immoral, but still be a good person ?  dorothea never had the privilege of much, and least of all were her morals, such as they were already. they didn’t keep her fed when she was hungry, or alive when she had to fight to survive, so that she might die another day. there are things a rabid girl does that she’s not proud of, but knows she would do again in a heartbeat, if put in that situation.

byleth does not have nearly as much importance to dorothea. byleth is almost a non factor in all aspects, really, and any byleths would have to work hard to gain dorothea’s trust and good graces, but they will never be on the same level as the rest of the black eagles to her

she sided with edelgard purely for edelgard, because she wanted to believe in her friend and hope that what edelgard wanted for the future was good, was worth siding with

she’s increasingly aware her view of good is highly subjective

being default mortal savant now, she doesn’t dress in her gowns much, favoring more practical, but still feminine clothes

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #yes i caved and let pathologic consume my passion #what can i say i like my 3h nitty gritty #and my cf route walking that sweet immoral line #with dorothea made to account for her actions #that said i'm still going all in with fluff #it's a fusion so i dont have to be depressing and unforgiving 24/7

[thornvows]

just want to note it down real quick that dorothea’s the type of person who doesn’t move aside for someone if they’re walking in opposite directions and about to collide

#if she bumps into someone and gets knocked the fuck aside then so be it #but ur gonna have to knock her aside cause she isn't moving #iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger

[thornvows]

if you’re ever awake at night, strolling through garreg mach and you catch a hint of red robes, a flicker of light where there should be only shadows and the lingering smell of crushed rose petals, don’t worry. that’s just dorothea practicing her  ‘ high class lady wading through stone paths in the dead of night in a billowing silk and lace gown, all delicate and enchanting and vulnerable as the monsters creep ever near her only for her to catch them in the darkest edge of the shadows and reveal the two rows of her teeth, devouring them all with a smile and hunger kept well hidden ’  look.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #dorothea is peak gothic romance woman #but if the woman was well acquainted with the dark and the monsters #and has made a home in their sharp claws and unending bite

[thornvows]

hilda looks like the type of girl who’d sell her bathwater or candles that smell like her sweat and dorothea would promote it and help sell it and i’m pretty sure that’s what female solidarity is ?

#idk.... just thoughts ! #anything that involves scamming men dorothea is generally down for #iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger

[thornvows]

dorothea’s hair caught on fire during the conflict in the holy tomb. she put it out before her entire head got set on fire, but the damage was done and half her hair was singed to just below her ear. two things that happened since: 

one, she had to cut her hair to make the length even. she probably had petra do it and dorothea was bawling her eyes out the entire time. long and luscious hair is difficult to grow, harder to maintain. during the time, it would’ve been a symbol of status and beauty and that meant something to dorothea, this commoner girl who had to work thrice as hard just to get something good in her life, and take pride in it. then she had to let it go, because of a consequence in a battle she had to take part in, and couldn’t even choose her side.

( one point five: her disdain for byleth festers. )

then, two: she still smells smoke. sometimes distant, sometimes right beside her ear, and she’ll look for fire, pat herself down, head first, to see if she’s alright.

fearing fire seems laughable for a woman who can summon lightning at her fingertips and cut with a sword just as fast, just as deadly. but dorothea knows fear: how it creates you and how it can help you, if you treat it with respect, if you hold it just right in your hands. she doesn’t cook over an open flame ever again, but she’ll sit close enough by a fireplace. she puts her hair up during battle, and trains her reflexes so she’ll never be too slow again. when she sees mages wielding fire magic, she looks for other targets first, letting her better suited comrades whittle them down.

and she tells herself, fingers carding through her long hair: it’s alright, it’s all here. and if it’s not, you can just cut it again. it will grow, and so will you. so will you, dorothea.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #this was smth i made up on random during a thread #purely for the drama and metaphor #but now im like... but the drama and metaphor !!! #the SYMBOLISM !!!! #fire as a terrifying and necessary thing to dorothea #fire being symbolic for the black eagles as a whole #and dorothea LIVES with that. good and bad and awful and all #for the rest of her life she'll live not just with the memories #but the actual physical and mental trauma of what happened #it was a huge defining moment for all. and not bc some self insert chara #decided which route they wanted to explore #everyone involved has their own thoughts and experiences #and they move forward with that #forever touched and changed and molded by it #just !! i love that pivotal part of the game #and i wish there was so much more depth #for lit every single chara #and more exploration of their psyches besides: 'wow edie did that' #'but prof sided with her so ig i have to as well?' #like. make ur own damn choices fools #u are all so much more than what intsys said u are #i rly adore byleth as a character just not as a self insert and all its grievances #and think autonomy in charas is super sexy ! esp npcs !!! #trauma cw

[thornvows]

during school, since she’s neither a noble nor a lovely princess from brigid, dorothea’s not allowed to carry a sword on her person outside of training grounds  ( more’s the pity )  and so would ask to borrow swords from other nobles or just grab it quick from the sheath whenever she challenged people to duels.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #students and soldiers alike #less the soldiers tho bc they just make her depressed #whenever they talk shit #since they're the ones who are technically #supposed to be protecting and looking after her as a student #but u know. life ! #students though ? they're all getting the cut if they talk shit #caspar's the real bro who would always throw her a weapon #she'd just nab felix's and ferdie's

[thornvows]

the fact that dorothea’s one of those characters who just rolled a nat 20 on charisma and cruises through life with that

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #every house has one #gd has claude bl has mercedes aw has constance #and no i do not take criticism thank u ! #theyre all infectious ! so loveable ! #they could each sell u ur own foot within the span of two minutes and #that is why i love them

[thornvows]

anyways the absolute moment dorothea became a top fav of mine was during bernie’s support when she said, with the ease of someone who’s done it multiple times already:  “ if your dad tried to beat me up, i’d return the favor, and then some. ” 

it was really that moment for me where i really appreciated the confident, flirtatious character she was, who used all her tricks for the sake of having a comfortable life. because it wasn’t until then that i really started seeing just why she works so hard to find a marriage partner, why she wants to settle down, have that security, know that she’ll be okay once she’s no longer young. 

that entire support did it for me, honestly, and seeing that snippet into her backstory and realizing she’s been through some genuinely fucked up, violent, and downright inhumane stuff, and coming out of it with so much empathy and self hatred but also a clear sight of the simple life she wants? that stuck with me for sure. it’s a core part of her character for me, and one of the biggest things i focus on with her characterization, and why merging her with pathologic was so seamless. i have a real loving spot for charas who came from nothing, made from the streets that forged them, and not only do they never forget it, but they don’t let it anchor them down. characters who are both violent and sweet, who can be genuinely good and want to do good but are also entirely aware of the ugly lengths they’ll go to. 

and they may find shame in it, hate themselves for it  ( dorothea certainly does )  but they’ll never walk away from it. she is exactly what the world made of her, when it decided to spit out little girls for sport, and so the world will have to bear what it gets back in turn.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #dorothea vc: yeah i almost got killed but whatever. wanna get some gelato? #this is obviously from the thing going around on twit #i just have a lot of feelings #and also hate tweeting so #here's yet another love letter to dorothea ! #she'll always be that street urchin and #she may hate it but she'll never try and forget it #bc that's merely one part of her #and it's an important part of her that she'll never let go #those were some of her defining moments #that young girl must always live on #or else she'll lose sight of why she's working so hard #and why she needs to work harder to lift others up too #the strong must protect the sweet uwu

[thornvows]

for all that i love to mention dorothea as an orphan i’ve never actually put thought into what she would’ve been like so uh, here goes !

lanky, definitely. she grew faster than most, especially for girls of her disposition, and she hated it. a bigger body meant more to feed, more ways in which her own body can ruin itself, growing exhausted faster, bearing down on her knees with more weight

it also meant people often mistook her as older than she was and only bad things come from that.

( we’re not going to get into what being a pretty, young, defenseless girl means. she managed to escape the worst, and thanks her lucky stars every day for it. that’s why she never really tried to form relationships, or join any kid gangs. they have horror stories for what happens to children, girls especially, and she feared her name being added to the list. )

made some money singing and having people throw change at her. would try to do errands for people, but of course no one would trust a disheveled looking girl. she cleaned graves when she could, but was too uncomfortable to stay around long.

mostly quiet. speaking requires energy, and in her experience, opening her mouth just gets it kicked. so she keeps her mouth shut out of preservation. it also reminds her how illiterate she is ; she couldn’t read until the opera members taught her.

when she wasn’t afraid of talking though, dorothea was a fairly sweet girl. dreamy. prone to bouts of silence and crying. she’d want to talk about anything but her situation, imagining a million lifetimes beyond what she currently had.

little manners, naturally. she picked up some things from listening to nobles and merchants converse, but it wasn’t until manuela picked her up and she was actively participating with society that she learned how to behave

she also gets really loud when she opens up, but like, she’s asian so leave her alone.

street smart, as kids growing up on the streets become. but still with a heart, which made things even worse

she could fight for food as fiercely as anyone else, and swindle people without feeling a drop of remorse, but when she’d see other kids younger or worse off than her ... well. if she’s already starving and in pain, what’s a little more pain and starvation ? if she dies, she dies.

pretty firm on lower class solidarity ( still is, but even then when it would’ve been better for her to think only of herself, she couldn’t, in every case. she was stolen and beat from other impoverished folks more than is right, and it definitely made her hateful, but more towards the higher class instead. the other poor folks turn to this behavior because they have no other option: what, then, is the excuse for nobles treating her just as cruelly ? )

she remembers the face of every single noble who spat at her

that said, a dorothea who was stolen and beaten on gave back as good as she got, no matter who it was. ( unless you were nobility -- then you were untouchable until she grew up. ) they’re some of her worst memories, looking back on what she did with disgust, but she was not going to be someone constantly taken advantage of. she was no one’s target.

singing wasn’t the only thing that made her stand out from the others. she picked up a blade pretty easily, and very few expect her to come out swinging, iron flashing.

retaliating made things much more unsafe for her, though. she moved around a lot, never sleeping in the same place twice in a row. her self defense skills were meager at best, and above all that she was still a little girl.

has witnessed many a public beating and more than a few murders. was involved in two. ( the nightmares were just replaced with the many more killings she’s committed, as an adult. )

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #did not expect to have this many thoughts... #i mostly just plucked shit from my own childhood bc uhhh self projection ? #we love it ? #anyways ! ask to tag if i'm missing anything #violence cw #now that i've started this i should think abt what she was like after... #for another day maybe #backstories are genuinely not my forte

[thornvows]

dorothea: *parkours off ferdinand’s horse to do some crazy mortal savant shit* ferdinand: ferdinand: ferdinand: p-please ...

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #rewatching pr lost galaxy and im losing it #dorothea literally IS a power ranger #anyways. black eagles power rangers au #edie: if i'm the red ranger then why are you-- #dorothea: i'm maroon sweetie #edie:

[thornvows]

dorothea during lunch: everyone’s talking about greater change this and rebuilding the world that. is it not enough to simply want to be living in a cozy two story building with your spouse, eating a delicious meal on your plant filled balcony with the sun shining on you, the wind tousling your hair artfully and whimsically, and the sound of happy kids running down the street below you?

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #i think abt how dorothea just wants #a really simple life #where she's a housewife and loves her spouse and kids #and u know... valid... #after all you've been through dorothea? get ur ghibli ending. eat ur croissant #spend the rest of ur life teaching ur hands #how to knit or embroider or bake or garden #how to do anything other than maim and kill #plant enough flowers until you've made more life than you've taken away #feed your kids spoiled to make up for the years u went without #and love and never stop loving #and enjoy being loved in return

[thornvows]

dorothea’s end card if she dies pre timeskip has her running away after the battle of garreg mach, never to be seen again with manuela  ( if she also dies pre ts )  and their opera troupe and that really gets me bad, how much she adores that group of people. they really were her saving grace, her everything, what she fights to protect more than herself, more than edelgard’s vision. she thinks about the troupe constantly -- while at school, during the war. the troupe is the kink in her armor, her beloved, well tended after achilles heel ; dangle the safety of the group on a string, and dorothea’s yours.

#iv. ( chara ) / a manifest on unlearning her own hunger #she loves them SHE LOVES THEM #it gets me so bad