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#ive been trying to doodle something the past hour and its taking too long and i know more ppl are in a further time zone than i am so
tomatetoro · 1 year
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my UTAU is officially a decade old today...it's really surreal that he's been publicized for 10 years now, i wish i had more to show for it on this specific day but i'll still be working on the anniversary cover/pv progress though;; happy 10 years to my meow meow haru torres!!!
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edelwary · 6 years
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when you were first getting into art, what and how did you draw? (like did you just doodle ur masterpieces on pieces of paper and posted-notes or did you have a proper sketchbook) how did you find motivation? bc ive been trying to draw but I always get unmotivated and stop while still wanting to get better just by doing nothing.
REALLY LONG, LOTS OF ADVICES FOR ARTISTS : 
TL;DR ; skip to the HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW part bc i have a megaton of shit to say lol + The MOTIVATION part 
mmh… I’ll get into details with this one tbh bc it’s a long ass process ahah : 
I live by the sea ; when i was youung i used to draw TONS of boat, but like, dollhouse boats, you could see the insides and stuff ; i loved to add tiny details and stuff, and imbricate everything together !
around 8 or 9 yo, i went to the public library with school and discovered the wonderful world of mangas ! I basically… Copy pasted an entire Mermaid Melody tome x) 
For about 2 years i alternated between reading mangas and trying to copy them ! Then i just kept drawing in the margins of my schoolwork for about… 5 years ! I have a Fuck Ton of sketchbooks of that time, it was… The start. Lol. Never say it’s bad because it’s never bad, just not there yet !!
Around my 13 yo, i went every saturday, for two years, under a bookstore ; there was a cave, and drawing classes ; that teacher was mean and harsh and stuff, but like… Not really. He would take away my eraser for the class, force me to use pencil, to draw something else (bulky boys instead of magical girls). 
I’ve learned a lot, more in terms of How To LEARN to draw than to draw itself, but i still progressed a LOT !! 
Then i kept drawing by myself for a year and i really worked hard on it ; about hours a day, trying watercolors and stuff ; i have a real problem with colors in traditionnal art, but i’m much better with lines (i should scan some RAD stuff i made in the weekend, yall ive never done anything this good i stg i dont know why i always forget im so much better on paper) 
This gets us to my sweet 16 ; i have to year of advance, bc i got ‘’’promoted’’’ idk how to say it ; anyways, i entered my (current) animation school for the first year at 16; vERY IMPRESSIVE AND TERRIFYING. 
And i learned. A fuckmegaton. Of shit there. 
Now i’m going for my third year there and i can make photorealistic marmora blades and cyberkpunk decors if i want to and that’s rad, but here is
 HOW TO ACTUALLY FUCKING DRAW : 
I have one HYPER important advice, and i’m keeping it to heart since i’m like, 11 : Have. Sketchbooks. Please !!! It’s very important. Here’s why : 
You keep everything with you in one place. You have 1 sketchbook, it’s basically easy to take every where (a A5, or A4 are pretty easy to carry, i have like, 12 of those, and around 8 of A3) 
You keep track of what you’ve done. It’s super important, bc first you can cry of laughter at your old stuff bc its cute but not so good, and second, you can just be like ‘holy mama’ and see how much you’ve improved
It’s very important to be organized. I WORK in art, and trust me, if there’s something that i’ve learned this year through tears and missing files and bugs : Be. Impeccable. Now if it’s for fun, go a little loose, and just have a folder for art on your computer, and a sketchbook, no need to stress, but the better you try to keep a record of where is what, the better you’ll see whats wrong
Notebooks are friends !! You can draw, write, glue stuff, make notes, lists, everything !!! I have my life in those. It’s more important to me than any of my phones. 
Be proud of it. Like, not everything, duh ! But try to tell yourself than it’s like a RPG ; even if it’s only 2 xp here and there, one day you’ll beat level 40, and that’s super important : art is. Fuckin. Long.
I cant stress it enough. It’s soooo long !!! SO LONG !! it’s years. It’s like karate and fishing and ANYTHING. To be good at it, it takes time, but it WILL COME if you keep trying. There’s no secret passage. 
You’re gonna me it, believe in me who believes in you. 
Use. References. 
Coming from a little shit who’s got a really good visual memory, that can sound like bs, but i stg everything is always AT LEAST twice as good if you’ve used a visual support. 
I’m not saying COPY EVRYTHING (even though thats a good training) I’m saying, if you really want to do that asian tiger, please have at least two or three pictures of it nearby. Take photos of your hands, and stuff ! 
Make it harder. 
No eraser. 
Paint. 
I draw all my backgrounds on my sketchbook with INDIAN INK; no returns, no refunds. 
Ink, Ink, INK !! Don’t allow mistakes.
And if you make mistakes :
New page, restart
It’s okay
It’s for you
I once started back again a whole EXAM bc it was bad, i got one of my best grades 
You’ll improve and be more assured if you know you just have to DO IT. Trust me. It’s VISIBLE; if you can erase, you fidget and hesitate and ‘’kbeujebez hahhaaa idkkidsd’’ ; stop ; do it, and if you don’t like it ? Try again, there’s no time limit
Draw as large as you can 
There’s no interesting story here, it just helps. Bigger movement of the hand, more place for details, breathing lines
Thin lineart helps
Thinner. Make it even thinner
Break the rules, but not the ones that structure your art 
Big lineart ? Why not
Unfinished lines, vaporeous colors ? Pretty
Cubism is actually based on extensive and intense practice of classical art, it’s not wibbly wooblly ; the anatomy is more correct than you think 
Structure and composition are important, but so is movement and life ; choose your fighter ; mine is fluidity and fun, i’m like, a rogue/archer in drawing. Some people are dwarf fighter. That’s amazing and great. 
Don’t be afraid to do nothing
Pages and pages of my sketchbooks are actually just lance facing right and smiling, you know… 
Sometimes it just doesnt work : two ways :
Take a break, Kiki’s delivery service style
Keep trying, break your art until it obeys and comes back
Take breaks. Breath. 
Don’t compare. I do it, it doesn’t help at all. You’ll make it ; and if you compare, keep in mind that everyone’s different
I’m not gonna lie, it’s NOT easy, it’s even hard 
But I really, really think it’s worth it 
MOTIVATION :
My main bitch 
I’m always pumped for art because i can LITTERALLY NOT do anything else ; i love reading and writing and stuff but at the end of the day i just want !!! to draw !!!! aaaaaa-
Fall in love with it, and with the possibilities ; i have stories to tell, tell me yours ! Do your best, one day it WILL work
Actual advices : 
I have an inspiration blog where i just reblogs stuff i like to draw them later
Find a picture, copy it. Do it again. Change the characters (i have 2 ocs and Lance and Keith as default characters) in the pic. 
Like an artstyle ? Break it to its very core, analyse it, copy it, redo it, trace it and ABSORB it. Don’t copy/past, LEARN from your heroes.
Do what you like. I have 86578 pieces of voltron, this is not a coincidence. I have ENDLESS ideas for this show, wtf. 
Try new things. Buy indian ink im begging you. It’s so cool. 
Have a game with yourself, or a challenge. STICK TO IT. 
Study. When you’re bored, usually it’s because you’re stagnating. Make it harder or do hands until you cry. 
Love your backgrounds; make backgrounds, study trees, and tokyo streets, and venice’s bridges. Decor is just as cool as characters, if not more
Mess a little with everything. My roomate more than one found me stained from head to toes trying to DO STUFF 
Draw outfits. Draw what you want but can’t afford 
MAKE YOUR LIFE A COMIC. Remember those sketchbooks ? Make a comic a week/month/every full moon, whatever, and draw your life (mine’s the roomates au lol) 
Prompts blogs are cool too 
Make fanart of a fic you liked ; you have the characters and the pose already, you just have to illustrate ; double bonus, you probably will make a writer’s day, if not year !
That little movie that plays when you listen to your favorite song ? DRAW IT
Your favorite scene in your favorite movie ? Redraw each shot. On post it. Plus it looks awesome afterwards to have the infamous TREX scene of Jurassic Parks in post it
Get bored. That’s inevitable. Dance, scream, get back to it. Walk, draw everything you see. 
Make a paper google map street view : Take a walk : every 50 meters, draw what is in front of you. 
Snapchats your friends. Draw their snapchats when they answer 
Draw maps. Invent places. Invent bikes, and hovercrafts, and monsters. Make your everyday inventory. Make your life a video game, and do the concept arts of it. 
FETCH your inspiration. I have approx. 20 artbooks, full of drawings and concept arts of my fave movies/games ; take what you like and add it to the story you have since you’re 8. We all have one. 
Ask for it ; your sis, your mom, me even ! If you dont have ideas, someone will have them. 
WELL i’m gonna stop there, even though i got like, 9864567 more to say, but with this you should be fine ! Anon, i’m rooting for you ! we all start somewhere, just hold on!!!! 
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floramodus-archive · 7 years
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==> Flora: Confess
floramodus raddddia i know im like
floramodus half hammered and the past 24 hours hasnt helped me much as a mentally stable individual but you know what? fuck it man i love you and not in a friend way though you are! one of my closest friends i just i love you alot romantically youre a hellfire in the arctic and i love you
tlmetravel im sure you think you do, sweets its the alcohol im not angry at you for relapsing, as a side reminder for later need help sobering up?
floramodus i need help for you to take me serious for once.
tlmetravel i am
tlmetravel im very serious about you needing to sober up
floramodus im already half sober because dean hasnt let me have anymore since he got home the point is: im not saying anything because im drunk. im not clinging to you because im drunk. i just had to watch my fiancee die, again, in full detail. im not saying these things out of of my ass, aradia, i love you.
tlmetravel you had to see that? on valentines day?
floramodus i made a choice to find the answer and i did, timing aside.
tlmetravel im proud of you for it im also sorry you had to see it oh, my poor girl, how you must feel happiness absent so strongly
floramodus ///I HATE HER MOIRA
tlmetravel //:)c
floramodus your avoiding the main topic and at this point i want dean to leave so i can go get moonshine because whats the point aradia. whats the point in dancing around it instead of telling me cold turkey? what do you gain from seeing me falter
tlmetravel im not trying to dance around it so much as give you the opportunity to take it back once youre more clear headed
floramodus thats almost painfully hilarous?
tlmetravel why is that?
floramodus because once again you arent taking me serious and i knew it would be this way for months. i knew sober or drunk youd find a way to make me regret speaking
tlmetravel im sorry if i have im just not sure what you want me to say
floramodus is it worth pursueing or am i barking up the wrong tree?
tlmetravel you have such a penchant for making yourself unhappy youve already dealt with enough serious, life altering topics think you might want to give it a rest before tackling this one give yourself a break
floramodus love in general? or love with you?
tlmetravel love in general is life altering
floramodus guess what! cock a doodle do my life is altered always! thats how we exist! thats how we keep sane! if you want to say no thanks than do it aradia ive been through worse.
tlmetravel you have thats why im not letting you have this discussion right now or make it into something trivial this is a battle for another day go to bed, flo
floramodus im not sleeping till you give me an answer i can sleep with
tlmetravel you are so endlessly cruel to yourself
floramodus i can sit on this couch all night and all day and die again and gain radia.
tlmetravel you do realize youre just proving my point
floramodus i dont care ///i typed that so loud every dog in my moms house just went off
tlmetravel regardless, im not what youve mistaken me for, flo im just happy and i think you just want to be happy too you have the right to be, at any rate //fck
floramodus just say it ///FUCK THEI R SCREAMING AND I PRESSED ENTER BUT ANYWAY
tlmetravel are you really so deluded as to think that just because /you/ dont care, the rest of us get a free pass as well? that well turn a blind eye to your safety breaches just because you throw a tantrum? you have /got/ to stop doing this to yourself you have /got/ to stop treating your life and everything in it with this kind of dangerous levity so no! you arent getting an answer! youre not getting anything until you tuck yourself in and let yourself /rest/ before taking on any more
floramodus ///I THOUGHT THat said fuck
tlmetravel //let dolly say fyck
floramodus well i guess this couch will be cozy while i sit here awake for as long as it takes
tlmetravel you will Not use your well-being as emotional blackmail not against me dave might let you and the rest of your friends might but you dont get to press on my moral values because /i have none/ and you will sit, and you will rot, and it will be for nothing at all
floramodus ///tfw aradia even makes me, the mun, feel like a piece of shit i love her
tlmetravel until you realize its pointless and let yourself out of this cage youve built out of whatever survivors guilt you brought back with you
tlmetravel //shes amoral and ppl forget and I love
floramodus you may have no moral values but ill tell you what i have thats less than that? the fucks i give about my place in the universe. i spent 7 years of my life questioning my existence to lose that existence and you know? i dont fucking care anymore. my life is mine to burn ///i like how u posted that and i sent the same screenshot 2 seconds earlier to joseph cause im living
tlmetravel //do u know how. pissed shed be at dave if she knew he let her go through w those amputation experiments?  not v much bc shes incapable of being angry at him but shed Want to be and I,
floramodus ///asdfghjk
tlmetravel you dont get to play with fire just because you dont know what to do with yourself. you dont get to use your own life as a punching bag for your whims you dont get to keep expecting for these bridges to go up in flames when so many of us love you you dont get to look at love and call us stupid
floramodus i never even said any of you were stupid
tlmetravel then why do you keep treating us like we are
tlmetravel like well let this slide if youre loud enough
floramodus im not treating you guys anymore than the best i can ! its not my fault you take my life so personal! what do expect of me? to sit in a goddamn corner and suckle vitamins for the rest of my immortal days?
tlmetravel youre our /friend/! itll always be personal for us
tlmetravel wed destroy anyone who hurt you but, to our great despair, the only one keen on hurting you is /you/
floramodus im not hurting myself im doing what nature and common sense dictate
tlmetravel oh thats rich no, you are purposely doing what hurts you the most out of whatever misguided sense of survivors guilt but guess what none of it will make you feel better and it sure as Hell doesnt make us feel good
floramodus guess fucking what! the clouds told me bec lives! im doing something right with my life! even if i have to cleave my goddamn skull in!!! two!!!
tlmetravel youre making accomplices out of innocent people by not letting them help
floramodus you arent scientists. you arent magicians.
tlmetravel you are actively tying their hands behind their back because they love you too much to tell you any of this i dont care, flora and i dont pretend to and i wont pretend to just the same as you so blatantly dont care about /my/ good friend, i dont care about yours i dont give a flying fuck if your dog lives
tlmetravel non gratum anus rodentum it only matters to us because it matters to you
floramodus ///the acid fucking crashed my laptop
tlmetravel and your high-brow, dr frankenstein, 'oh im a scientist you wouldnt understand' act is not pulling the wool over anyones eyes youre self destructive bec just gives you an excuse to con us out of doing anything about it //God ™
floramodus //im not responding until tumblr boots back up cause she is nuclear moira
tlmetravel //good im not saying you dont honestly care for bec im saying he also doubles as a handy excuse
floramodus so what do you expect me to fucking do. how do you expect me to react to you saying the last goal i have in life is just that, a worthless goal. do you expect me to be gratify? do you expect to graciously bow to your ancient wisdom and sit in a bumbo and learn how to be "healthy" again for the sake of comfort.
tlmetravel yes
floramodus your goddamn right im self destructive i wont hesitant to tear my self apart for any goal worth it what are you gonna do about it? be content your fucking right? humanity believe a nuclear bomb would kill us all but that didnt stop them and it wont stop me
tlmetravel or you could just treat yourself as a tool, a means to an end, because god forbid you see yourself as a person, because you /know/ deep down that how you treat yourself? isnt how you should treat a person humanity really isnt the pinnacle of reason nor does humanity interest me, were talking about /you/
floramodus im human in theory but guess what? im not a person. im a god, a means of survival
tlmetravel does that flawed rhetoric make you sleep at night at least? because i really wish it would
tlmetravel because its good for absolutely /nothing/ else
floramodus i wasnt put on this earth to be comfortable ive been living in gunpowder since i was 6
tlmetravel you really dont want to start a sob story competition with me trust me you know why id be afraid, if you did love me?
floramodus despite my urge to tell you to shove it back in the textbook you crawled out  of ill play your game. why
tlmetravel because youd put me above yourself and im historically against pedestals its a frightening thing to love someone who would damn herself in a second without looking over her shoulder death doesn't just happen to you, icarus, it happens to everyone around you your wounds are not just your own though they sting you most
floramodus icarus had one life. i have infinity
tlmetravel i dont care each one of your lives is as precious to us as if it were your last just because you /can/ doesnt mean you /should/ by all means, go on with this madness, tear yourself limb for limb if your heart is really in it just dont expect me to be quiet about it in fact, place no expectations on me at all hellfire, you called me hellfire, indeed
floramodus let he who has the match wick the bridge in flames
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