#lem csurik

[chell-sea-art]

It was not the dead Miles needed to talk to, in the dark, he realized. It was the living. Useless to confess to the dead; absolution was not in their power. But I'll trust your Speaking, Harra, as you once trusted mine.

Memory by Lois McMaster Bujold. A book that will never fail to grab me by the heart and twist.

#vorkosigan saga #memory #miles vorkosigan #harra csurik #lem csurik #miles naismith vorkosigan #Chell sea art #posting directly to the art blog instead of to the main as I usually do with vorkosigan stuff #dunno why

[outshinethestars]

Mutie Lord (Vorkosigan saga)

Corry Csurik has a scar on her lip.  It’s because she’s a mutie.

Most people don’t know that, just by looking.  There’s plenty of ways a person could get a scar like that, people don’t assume “mutie” straight off.  But Corry’ll tell anyone who asks how she got it, she ain’t ashamed.

Everyone in Silvy Vale knows of course, and none of them mind one bit.  Least ways, none of the younger ones mind, some of the adults probably do, but none of them says nothing.  Folks in Silvy Vale know better, nobody dares say anything against Corry or her Mama, not since the Mutie Lord came and set things straight.

Corry was born in the hospital in Hassadar like the rest of her siblings, and she came out with her lip split in two and a hole going up straight through the top of her mouth.  Mama showed her pictures when Corry asked, and it looked real delightfully gruesome, but the doctors in Hassadar fixed it up right quick, and all she’s got to show for it now is the scar.

Corry’s the oldest of Lem Csurik’s kids, all of them born down at Hassadar General.  She’s the oldest and the only mutie, except that she’s also not.  Corry could have had a big sister, born way back ages ago, before Mama even went and got her education. Her name was Raina and she was a mutie just like Corry, except she was born up here in Silvy Vale instead of down in Hassadar, and she was murdered by her grandmother.

That’s when the Mutie Lord came, to bring justice for Raina, because Mama walked all the way down the mountain and asked him.

There ain’t many Count’s sons, Corry thinks, who’d go and do a thing like that for any baby, let alone a mutie one.  But the Mutie Lord did.  There’s folks as says that the Mutie Lord only came because Raina was a mutie, but Mama says that ain’t so.  The Mutie Lord came because he cared.  Because the Mutie Lord cared about Mama and he cared about Raina, and he cared about justice, even in Silvie Vale.

Old folks up here still talk about old Count Piotr, who fought the Cetagandans from these mountains.  Most poor folks in other districts don’t care much for their counts one way or the other, but us as belongs to the Vorkosigans are different.  Old Count Piotr was a legend, not the sort as stays far away in some castle, but the substantial sort, as gets its hands dirty and is of some use.  Everyone’s proud of Count Aral, of course, because he was Regent and Prime Minister and all, and Mama says it was him as let her tell about Raina, gave her an audience all formal like, and sent the Mutie Lord to be his Voice, so Corry supposes he’s all right enough too.  But it’s the Mutie Lord, who will be Count one day, who is the best of all of them, Corry thinks.

Mama and Da go down to Hassadar sometimes to argue with folks about Silvie and the rest of the villages up here in the Dendariis.  What sort of things they need up here to make their lives better, and what sort of things they really don’t need, whatever the Countess says.

(Mama’s got a whole lot of respect for the Countess on account of all the things she’s done for them as lives out in the backcountry, enough she named Corry after her even.   But the lady’s got some strong ideas about what it is they should want when it comes to modernizing and so forth, and Mama gets right fed up sometimes explaining to her and her city experts that it ain’t their right to get to decide what’s best for them, them as belong to these mountains are more than capable of doing that on their own.)

Anyway, Mama goes down to Hassadar a lot, and she brings the kids along too a lot of the time, and it was in Hassadar that some city boy punched Corry for calling the Mutie Lord the Mutie Lord.

Corry just stared at him sorta aghast for a second after, because didn’t this boy’s da ever tell him it ain’t right to hit girls?  But then Corry supposed he could be from a modern family that thought that old fashioned chivalry was a kind of oppression, so maybe the punching was a sort of compliment.

“Don’t you dare call Lord Vorkosigan that, he’s our Count’s son and I won’t let some backcountry bumpkin disrespect him,” the boy said.

And if he’d had the sense to stop there, Corry might’ve let it be, might even have apologized.  Because there’s folks as think calling anyone a mutie ain’t right on account of the word itself being dirty.  Corry’s never agreed with it, mind, so far as she can see, words is words, it’s peopleas have to go and be rude about it.  But if the boy just didn’t like calling him the Mutie Lord on account of the word, that’d be fair enough.  But then he had to go and keep talking.

“Lord Vorkosigan isn’t a mutant, he was deformed by a soltoxin attack, but his genes are as good as anyone’s.”

Corry’d crossed her arms, narrowed her eyes at him real stern, “What difference does that make?” She said.

The boy looked baffled, “It’s the whole point isn’t, it?  We can’t have a Count with some kind of mutation. The whole line would be tainted.  And a mutation like that , they say he’s completely deformed.”

Corry’d turned her eyes into a full on glare then, she knew how to be right scary when she wanted, “There ain’t nothing wrong with being a mutie, I’m a mutie,” Corry said, and the boy stared at her, shocked, that she was a real honest breathing mutie standing in front of him, and that she’d said it right out like that in broad daylight, “D’you think it matters to the Mutie Lord one bit how he got the way he did?  Bet it don’t hurt less to have his bones all stunted and fragile on account of soltoxin instead of a mutant gene.  And anyhow, if you’re so worried about the precious bloodline, you know for certain any Vorkosigan babe’d be cooked up in one of them fancy uterine replicators and gene cleaned and all.  But it don’t matter either way, because being all mutie looking as he is doesn’t make the Mutie Lord any less of a Count’s heir a smidge.  It don’t make him less clever, and it don’t make him less kind, and it don’t make him less wise, and he’ll be best of all the Vorkosigans there ever was when he’s count, mark my words.  So you’ll take it back, else I’ll have more than words for you, and you may be egalitarian enough to hit a girl, Piotr Gansy,” (that being the boy’s name) “But I’m betting you ain’t so egalitarian you’d fancy being beat by one.”

The boy didn’t apologize, but he did run off, and Corry supposed that was satisfaction enough.  She likes to think she gave him something to think on, at least.

Corry thinks on it often enough, certainly, her and the Mutie Lord.  Because the Mutie ain’t a mutie, technically, but he looks it, and Corry is a mutie, but she don’t.   The folks in Silvy Vale, they know what’s what these days.  But Corry’s heard folks down in Hassadar, grown folks she ain’t in any position to lecture.  They talk about the Mutie lord, and sometimes they talk something ugly.  And Corry supposes it’s even worse in other places, where folks aren’t predisposed to like him, him being their very own Vorkosigan, and she supposes it was worse when he was younger, before he went and got himself made Lord Auditor and all.  And there ain’t nothing he can do about it, because everyone who looks at him sees a mutie.

Corry’s not sure what she wants to do with herself when she’s grown, but she’s got an idea of going to university on one of Countess Cordelia’s scholarships, maybe all the way in Vorbarr Sultanna.  She’ll have a choice then, of whether or not she’ll tell folks she’s a mutie.  She supposes it ain’t none of their business, really, but she thinks she’ll tell anyway.  Because she can , see, and Raina can’t.

Mama says that uterine replicators are getting more and cheaper all the time.  By the time Corry’s ready to be thinking of having children of her own, maybe there’ll be some even for folks in Silvy Vale.  Someday, maybe there won’t be any more muties like Corry.  There’s always been accidents, though, and there’s always been war, and Corry can’t see that changing any time, so there’ll always be muties like the Mutie Lord.

It matters , Corry thinks.  It matters how folks think, and it matters how folks see each other.  It matters what and who folks count as important.  They learned that, they as live in Silvy Vale, when the Mutie Lord came all the way out to bring justice for Raina.  So Corry’ll tell folks she’s a mutie, because she was lucky, growing up in Silvy Vale.  She’ll say it because it matters, and she won’t be shamed.  She’ll say it for all those as don’t get a choice whether to say or no.

#vorkosigan saga #my stuff #fic and fic-like things

[secondimpact]

“Little man” —Harra’s voice in the dark was as sweet and deadly as maple mead— “my mother killed my daughter. And was judged for it in front of all Silvy Vale. You think I don’t know what public shame is? Or waste?”

“Why d’you think I’m telling all this to you?”

Harra was silent for long enough for Lem to pass around the stone jug one last time, in the dim moonlight and shadows. Then she said, “You go on. You just go on. There’s nothing more to it, and there’s no trick to make it easier. You just go on.”

“What do you find on the other side? When you go on?”

She shrugged. “Your life again. What else?”

“Is that a promise?”

She picked up a pebble, fingered it, and tossed it into the water. The moon-lines bloomed and danced. “It’s an inevitability. No trick. No choice. You just go on.”

Memory, Lois McMaster Bujold. Pg. 158

#Vorkosigan Saga #Miles Vorkosigan #Harra Csurik #Lem Csurik

[fairandfatalasfair]

The Mountains of Mourning | Lois McMaster Bujold

#Vorkosigan Saga #photoset #Lois McMaster Bujold #Raina Csurik #Harra Csurik #Lem Csurik #needles cw

[grumpyoldsnake]

“You go on. You just go on. There’s nothing more to it, and there’s no trick to make it easier. You just go on.”

“And what do you find on the other side? When you go on?”

“Your life again. What else?”

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s an inevitability. No trick. No choice. You just go on.”

~ Lois McMaster Bujold, Memory

~o0o~

Inktober Day 16

I started this sometime last year (or a few years ago?) for a July disability representation event, but never finished it. Finally dug it out today to complete it quick for today’s Inktober. It’s nice to have it done. This was… I don’t know whether I would call it a powerful scene, but it was introspective, and cut deep enough that I still think back to it from time to time.

#inktober #inktober 2017 #vorkosigan saga #harra csurik #lem csurik #moving on #miles vorkosigan #public shame #inktober 2017 day 16 #art #my art #traditional art

[quietflorilegium]

"I know you have courage, and I know you have will. The rest is just picking yourself up and ramming into the wall again and again until it falls down. You get a bloody forehead, so what?"

Miles Vorkosigan, Lois McMaster Bujold, “The Mountains of Mourning”

#the mountains of mourning #mountains of mourning #lois mcmaster bujold #miles vorkosigan #vorkosigan #trying again #determination #courage #harra csurik #lem csurik

[kareenvorbarra]

rarepair 2017 letter

Hello Author! Thank you so much for writing for me. I hope this letter makes sense and gives you some inspiration. 

ETA: NOW COMPLETE, and I’m terribly sorry for the delay. 

General Preferences

With a few exceptions that I’ll specify later, I don’t want any smut or sex-focused fics. In a few cases (also specified below), I’d prefer there not be any sex in the relationship at all, even if it’s just implied. I don’t want any of my requested ships to be portrayed as abusive or unloving - even where there is angst or confusion, I imagine that all of these people genuinely love and care about one another and are trying their best. However, some of the characters on this list have experienced canonical rape and/or other types of abuse in other relationships, and I’m absolutely fine with those issues being addressed. No alternate-setting AUs, please.  

Silmarillion - Huor/Rian, Idril/Tuor, Idril/Tuor/Voronwe, Barahir/Emeldir, Finduilas/Gwindor/Turin, Beren/Luthien, Eilinel/Gorlim, Hurin/Morwen

Huor/Rían

This is one of the ships that I actually wish someone would write smut for. Vanilla, for sure, but beyond that almost any situation would be great. Huor and Rian having cute, slightly awkward first time sex between their betrothal and the wedding. Huor and Rian having angsty comfort sex the night before he leaves for the Nirnaeth. Anything else that you can come up with, as long as it also includes plenty of emotions and characterization. 

If you don’t want to write a sex scene (it’s cool, I don’t like writing them much either) literally almost anything else would be good. Cute! Angsty! Both! Ideally I would like it to be set when they are both actually adults and start getting romantic, whether that’s at the very beginning of their relationship, or during their brief marriage. Some ideas:

Them talking about the bad things that have happened to them, about the impact that war has had on their lives, and helping each other deal with those memories. 

Rian still has nightmares, though not as frequently as she did as a child. Write about the first time she has one after getting married. 

Something about the two of them interacting with music? Is Huor musical? Does he sing, or play an instrument like his brother? Or does he just really love listening to Rian sing? Or something about them dancing together - what are Hadorian social dances like? 

Idril/Tuor

First of all, if you end up writing a fic about these two, I’d like to request that Maeglin not appear in it. Other characters can mention him if you want, but I’d really rather the story not focus on him in any significant way. 

As another general rule, I’m not interested in interpretations of these characters that gloss over their pasts, particularly Tuor’s - you don’t have to directly address the loss and abuse he experienced as a child, but please don’t write him in a way that doesn’t make sense in light of those events. I would also really love a fic where Idril and Tuor talk about bad things in their pasts for the first time. 

Also, Idril and Tuor talking about Huor and Hurin! Bonus if it includes Idril singing a Hadorian song or speaking a bit of Hadorian that she learned from them, and Tuor being excited but also sad. 

Again, a nightmare fic (that’s...going to be a bit of a theme in my requests) would be wonderful. Either Idril or Tuor has a violent nightmare and the other one has to wake them and help them calm down. 

Idril/Tuor/Voronwe

Not looking for sex with this one, but cuddlepiles/bed-sharing would be excellent. 

Three-way co-parenting after Earendil comes along.

Tuor gets some kind of non-life-threatening but very nasty human illness that keeps him off his feet for a while, and Idril and Voronwe freak out and dote on him a lot. He tries to get them to calm down, but once he’s managed to convince them he isn’t dying he rather enjoys the attention - it’s been a long time since anyone has fussed over him while he’s been sick, and he’d mostly forgotten how it felt to be so thoroughly cared for. 

The three of them keeping each other going after the Fall of Gondolin and leaning on each other for support and comfort during the long, dangerous journey to Sirion. 

Barahir/Emeldir

I’d be down for reading a sex scene with these two if you feel like writing one! I imagine they are both active, physically affectionate people who are really comfortable with each other and know each other’s bodies very well. They also like to dance and spar together, and I’d love to read a fic about them engaging in any of these activities, before or after their marriage. 

As with Huor/Rian and Morwen/Hurin, I would welcome angsty pre-battle comfort scenes, with or without sex. Or anything about them relying on each other during the Bragollach. 

I’d love anything that plays up the battle couple aspect of their relationship, whether that’s them sparring, teaching young Beren how to fight, getting caught in an ambush while on patrol together, or something else. 

Finduilas/Gwindor/Túrin

No sex please, but I’d be on board for some awkward, angsty, emotionally-charged cuddling.

What would a genuinely happy moment between the three of them look like?

What would happen in an AU where they all managed to talk about their feelings for each other and work out some of their emotional issues together? Again, I am always here for cuddling and other forms of non-sexual intimacy. 

I don’t have a whole lot of ideas for these three, but basically I want it to be emotional and at least a little angsty but where they all care about each other deeply, though not all in the same way and not always sufficiently expressed.

Beren/Luthien

As with Tuor, I’m not interested in characterization that doesn’t take into account the unimaginable trauma and suffering that Beren experienced in the years before meeting Luthien. I’d love to see any of that explored in their relationship - how does he readjust to speech after living alone in a forest for so long? When does he begin to tell Luthien details about his past and family members? What do they do on those days when Beren is overwhelmed by guilt and grief, even though he now lives a peaceful life with his wife and son?

I do want their relationship to be strong and loving and based on mutual respect rather than deference - they would do anything for each other, but they also disagree sometimes and don’t always act in ways they other approves of. They respect each other’s abilities even though they fear for each other’s safety. 

I do think they had some forest sex in the months before Daeron outed them, but I also think it took Beren a while to be emotionally ready for that kind of intimacy (and I don’t think he’d had much sexual experience, if any, before Luthien). I’d love to read about that as a gradual process, where Luthien is the more experienced person and is kind of initiating things, but also being careful and respectful of Beren’s boundaries. 

Literally anything about these two!!! I love them!!!! A fic exploring any point in their story between their first meeting and Thingol’s death would be great. 

Eilinel/Gorlim

I’d love anything for these two, really. I’d say no sex in the interest of focusing on characterization, since these two don’t get much of it, but I really just want to read something that they both appear in as living people.

Anything cute about their lives together! When did they meet, how did they meet, when/why did they fall in love? How long had they been married when the war began? Did they want children?

In addition to or instead of the above prompt, some good pre-battle angst of the sort that seems fairly ubiquitous in my favorite Edain ships. What happened the last time they saw each other alive? 

Húrin/Morwen

In my headcanons about these two, they were betrothed in their early teens to help tie the Beorian refugees to the Hadorian community, and didn’t get married until years later. If this idea appeals to you, I’d love to read something about them getting to know each other. Their personalities are very different, so how do they get along at the beginning? How do they come to grow fonder of each other?

I also imagine both of them not having had sex with anyone before they get married, and I’d love to read some cute/awkward first time wedding night sex. 

Something about the two of them being super happy at Huor and Rian’s wedding (with maybe also an undercurrent of worry about the plans for the upcoming war, especially on Morwen’s part). 

Morwen helping Hurin deal with the death of his father, and with the fact that he now has to assume leadership of his people at the age of 21. 

And again, angsty pre-Nirnaeth comfort sex would be welcome. 

Vorkosigan Saga - Duv Galeni/Delia Koudelka, Drou/Kareen Vorbarra, Harra Csurik/Lem Csurik

I love Duv and Delia and I think they’re pretty underrated! One thing I’d like to see is Duv first opening up to Delia about his family and the things he did during the rebellions on Komarr. At what point in their relationship did they finally discuss these things? Bonus points if you work in his birth name and his feelings about it in some way. I’d also love anything about them and their kids, with any combination of fluff and angst as they adjust to being parents and reflect on the ways Barrayar and Komarr have changed since their own childhoods. Another idea: Delia traveling to Komarr for the first time and actually seeing all the places she’s heard about, or Duv going to meet some of Delia’s extended family for the first time (maybe Drou’s father and brothers, or Kou’s sister?). I’m interested in stories about them exploring their cultural differences and learning more about each other.

Drou/Kareen is kind of a complicated one - I don’t imagine them ever having sex or really talking about their relationship in terms of romance, but still becoming intensely devoted to each other and basically being the most important people in each other’s lives, something that, in different circumstances, might have turned into a romantic relationship. I’d like something set any time during Drou’s years as Kareen’s bodyguard. The main thing I’d like to see for this ship is maybe-romantic-maybe-platonic physical intimacy, like hugging, cuddling, or bed-sharing. Some scenarios I’d love to see: one of them comforting the other for any reason, one of them brushing the other’s hair, Drou helping Kareen get dressed for some fancy event, Kareen accidentally waking Drou when she has a nightmare and Drou ending up sleeping in Kareen’s bed for the rest of the night, or any combination of those. Anything with them sort of co-parenting Gregor would be lovely, as long as they have a little alone time at some point in the story. I’d rather Serg not appear in the fic, but feel free to have other characters discuss him or address how his past treatment of Kareen continues to affect her. A fic about how Drou and Kareen react to hearing about Serg’s death for the first time would be super interesting. 

For Lem and Hara, I really just want to know more about these two, especially their early lives. How did they develop feelings for each other? What was their courtship like? What kinds of strain did the events of “The Mountains of Mourning” put on their relationship, and how did they eventually recover from it? How did they feel when their second child was born? What did they tell their other children about Raina, and when did they do it? Just some ideas. You can mention Miles or other major Vorkosigan Saga characters, but I’d rather none of them appear in the fic. 

Tortall - Francis of Nond/Raoul of Goldenlake, Lalasa Isran/Tianine Plowman

Basically, all we know about Francis is that he’s quiet, kind, and close friends with Raoul (he’s referred to as “Raoul’s blond shadow”). When I reread Alanna: The First Adventure recently, I came to the conclusion that Raoul (who is bisexual in my head) and Francis were each other’s first sort-of romantic relationship, very close friends who realized as young teens that they were also attracted to each other. Of course, then they both get the Sweating Sickness and Francis dies while Raoul is still very sick. Basically, I want a cute story about shy Francis and outgoing-but-insecure Raoul dealing with their feelings for each other, and/or a sad story about Raoul dealing with the death of his close friend and first passionate crush. I understand if you don’t feel up to writing the death part, though - the cute slightly-angsty awkward stuff will be fine on its own. No sex in this one, please, though kissing would be great.

For Lalasa and Tian, maybe a story about them telling Kel about their relationship for the first time? Or scenes from early on in their relationship as the romance is developing, when Lalasa begins to confide in Tian about her experiences with men and harassment. Or maybe their private reunion after Lalasa is freed from her kidnappers - what is their relationship like at this point, and does their fear and relief inspire any confessions of as-yet-unvoiced emotions. I’d love a little angst or hurt/comfort, but ending with the two of them made happier by their relationship with each other.

Clone Wars - Padme Amidala/Satine Kryze, Steela Gerrera/Ahoska Tano

For these two ships I’m mostly interested in AUs where they both survive TCW/the prequels. My dream Satine/Padme story is where they go into hiding together and raise Padme’s kids and fall in love - anything along those lines would be lovely. If AUs aren’t your thing, maybe a fic about them meeting as teenagers and bonding over their experiences of becoming political figures and being in danger from a very young age, and also developing crushes on each other but not really knowing how to deal.

For Steela/Ahsoka, I’d love to see them working together in the rebellion and going on missions as a couple, falling in love, being practically inseparable, something like that. Bonus points if people sometimes assume that the mysterious agent Fulcrum is a man, and are surprised to find out that Fulcrum is actually two 20-something lesbians. Extra bonus points if all four of them somehow meet several years into the Empire’s rule and little Luke and Leia are there???? Just some ideas. For something actually in the timeline of the show, I’d love a fic about Ahsoka narrowly saving Steela from falling off the cliff and the two of them spending time alone together after the battle, finally realizing/opening up about their feelings for each other.

DS9 - Kira Meru/Tora Naprem

I would sell my soul for some Naprem fanfiction that doesn’t erase Meru or portray Naprem/Dukat as some kind of passionate, misunderstood cross-species romance. I’d also love to see the two of them interact, and so the idea for this ship was born. I’d like all the canonical information we have about these two to be preserved, and if you feel like incorporating details about Meru’s continued relationship with Dukat from the non-canonical Terok Nor trilogy feel free to do so, but if you haven’t read those books then don’t worry about it. Also, it’s been a while since I read that series and I can’t remember if Meru and Naprem ever meet in it, but I feel like they don’t, and obviously they have to meet for this fic to work.

Some hard “no”s for me - Dukat can be in this fic a little, but I’d rather he not be a major character. I also don’t want his relationship with either Meru or Naprem to be portrayed as, for lack of a better word, unproblematic; the story must deal with the power imbalances inherent in the situation, and be sensitive to the fact that coercion (i.e. the things Dukat does to Meru and, by plausible extrapolation, to Naprem) is a form of rape. I don’t really want sex in this one, just a big mess of complicated feelings about Dukat, other Bajorans, the friends and families they may have left behind, and each other (cuddling and/or kissing optional but appreciated).

So, ideas and things I’d love to see explored: how and when might Meru and Naprem first meet? What do they think of each other? Does Naprem develop real fondness for Dukat, and how does Meru react to this? How does Meru die? I also want to know your take on Naprem’s backstory. For a more specific scenario idea, I’d love something with Meru and Naprem staying together for a few nights while Dukat is away from the station, and talking about him and the war and their old lives and (if you want) Naprem’s pregnancy/baby Ziyal. Meru and Naprem sleeping in the same bed in this scenario would be very very good.

#author letter