#like i drew this little swiss belt thing that i have no idea if i could actually make i haven't sewn in years and it was. okay. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

steve0discusses · 6 years

Text

Yugioh: Ep4 S1 - Fyre Festival’s shaping up pretty good

We've landed on the Duelist Kingdom island, population: 1. It's covered in trees and mountains like the high sierras, and a...well...a structure.

I'm pretty sure this is the exact design of every sand castle I've ever constructed. It's...man. Yugioh pulls so many stops and then is like "please accept this generic castle, we are so tired." and youknow there's a lot of episodes this season so I'm going to let it go. You must be tired. You drew a lot of crazy eyes on Yugi and that must take a lot out of you.

(more under the cut)

In this Tardis-style island that seems a lot bigger on the inside than the outside, we march up about 5 million stairs, which must be convenient for Pegasus’s daily commute, and run into a familiar face. Complete with a sharp opera sting jump scare, it’s a guy in a completely average v-neck sweater, that’s right, it’s Bakura.

Then, just as quickly as Bakura appeared, he disappeared, complete with spooky music and pop-scare transitions although he just kinda seems like he’s lost on the way to a picnic in the woods. Like the music is telling me that he’s threatening, it’s zooming in on his face like it’s threatening, but the character design just feels like the worst he’s going to do is borrow my lawnmower and then maybe forget to ever bring it back.

I really do want to know if any kids out there were frightened of Bakura. So far I think I’d be more frightened by like...I dunno, any of the oversized, menacing monsters that come out of these card holograms because Bakura just seems like your very boring classmate who signs your yearbook with maybe an unhappy face and you can never recall why.

PS I have never seen all of Yugioh before so I’m assuming that Bakura is freakin nuts but don’t spoil.

After the 2 mile march up the stone steps, our villain shows up, still clad head to toe in Salmon (and fun fact, do you know who else was known for salmon pants? That’s right, Billy McFarland. Yugioh predicted it here first, folks.)

Instead of, I dunno, letting anyone inside after that exhausting hike up the wall of China, he decides to force them walk all the way back down the stairs and run through the woods and just fend for themselves--no food, no snacks, not even some soggy Fyre Festival tents. Just go for it, small children, if you die, who cares?

The only way out of this actual Hell and the only way to eat a real meal in a real building, is to attack the other people on the island with card duels but I’m gonna go on a limb and assume that very few people are going to do this legit.

Resolutely, our hero decides that ten star chips is the only way to save his Grandpa. I guess. I mean...sure.

And something I forgot to mention last time because it seemed like such a small thing, is that Yugi split his ticket with Joey--so each have one star chip instead of two. And Joey realizes that this is going to be a problem later so he immediately is like “I’m dumb but I’m not that dumb” but luckily, Yugi is just slightly dumber than he is.

The logic here is kind of strained--if they need the 3 million, just have Yugi win it and give it to you for your sister’s surgery. He would probably do that anyway. But sure, both are now competing in this tournament, and I dunno it’s a lot of Joey screen time and I don’t know how I feel about that.

Also this guy popped up for like a second and it spooked me more than Bakura.

He brought that harpoon with him. He boarded the boat with this 10 foot harpoon. He probably took the taxi to the boat with a 10 foot harpoon sticking out the window. What’s the open carry law on harpoons in Japan?

Anyway, Yugi seems overjoyed at the prospect of dueling on this wild island under horrifying conditions and under the complete law of whatever Pegasus decides.

Seeming shorter and more menacing by the moment, Yugi’s first target is Weevil, the guy who threw his cards off the boat and nearly drowned Joey. Now honestly, was that Weevils fault that Joey jumped off a boat? He didn’t push Joey off the boat. That was alllll Joey. I’m not saying Weevil’s a good guy, he did throw out Yugi’s good cards but I think Yugi is as much to blame for just giving his most precious grandpa’s cards to a clearly evil person in the first place.

But anyway he’s super excited to obliterate him in a card duel and is like gunning it across these Swiss Alps in between the castle and where Weevil is hiding.

(I have no commentary for this random bug swarm. I have no idea why this is there. Is this Pegasus? Bakura? Maybe even Weevil? Why would Moths be...whatever)

The duel begins, and there’s some new rules but I dunno if I’ll bother going over it in any great detail, since I just really want to talk about Pharaoh’s pantshoes for a second. Like if you saw someone wearing these pantshoes but for real--not as a cosplay, but like in tight formal pantshoes, what would you call them?

I mean cover up the belt part and they’re just long hooker boots. Cover up the shoes and they’re just very tight shiny pants. These are two sort of maybe-too-sensual-for-Yugioh garments but when you meld them together is it still? Like he’s in Japan so when you go inside the house you take your shoes off, but Pharoah would never be able to, he’d be in his...I don’t know what he wears under there, probably just another set of boots. Underwearboots.

Anyway, when I watched this I also had a theory. Here’s my theory: I’m assuming that Yugi transforming isn’t actually happening--that this is a symbolism of something going on deeper down. He’s not actually getting taller. His voice isn’t actually dropping. Instead this is a very unique take on the Sailor Moon trope. Yes, he has guidance of an ancient spirit living within him but maybe this isn’t ACTUALLY occuring like it is in other anime. It’s just him trying to make up for all his insecurities by letting a “different person” take the wheel so he deosn’t need to feel afraid.

But then his friends acknowledge sometimes that there is a change occuring, dashing my theory to pieces. They shrug it off saying “he’s like another person” but like...did they hear him scream “YUGIOH” on the top of his lungs just now? Or were they mind-wiped the moment that happened? I should stop analyzing this.

And don’t forget this is an actual Pharoah, and given an opportunity he will start preaching condescendingly to his opponents, with gusto, and with maybe too much pride. It’s kind of a lot, but I guess he was on par with Horus or however it worked in Ancient Egypt (like if memory serves, now that he’s dead he switches over to the god Osiris but I don’t remember so don’t quote me. Also it’s Youknow...Yugioh religion. They did not research this.)

Now again, Yugi relies maybe a little too much on that magician card, and so unfortunately, this particular duel is going to go into the next episode. I know he’s going to win but I think the real question is--will Weevil be turned into a human vegetable? We’ll find out soon

Please reply with “Boots” or “pants” I really want to know if you feel he’s wearing more long boots or more footy pants because I’m very much on team boots here.