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meyeselph · 3 years

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Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

#gwenpool #fanfic #deconstruction #outofloveiswear #fortheoriginalwritersnotmarvelordisney #tw mental health #tw mentions of suicide #tw mentions of drug abuse #tw violence #tw gun violence

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albatris · 5 years

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Hello! I think it was you I saw a post about making more realistic characters with psychosis (I think that's the right word?), and I was wondering if you have any guidelines or help saved for what to do and not to do with them? Because I'm making a new character right now and it sounds like psychosis might fit with them so I want to see if I could make it work :) thank you so much for any help or nudges towards help that you can give! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hello! Aha yeah that was probably me, or if it wasn’t me that particular time you’re thinking of, it absolutely has been me at some point or another, I’m definitely not quiet about how much I’m on the lookout for realistic psychosis rep. And I’m super happy you’re looking into it! We definitely need more of it! Much excitement on my end over here and good luck with your character-creating and research! I hope you’re having a wonderful day too!!

OK LONG POST

So firstly I wanna emphasise that “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of different symptoms and experiences! And that there are many different psychotic disorders. In terms of psychosis symptoms, most commonly people think of hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. And while you can have a character whose psychosis is limited to those things, because any array and combination of symptoms is possible, this isn’t the case for many psychotic people! There are a lot of other common facets of psychosis that exist that are hardly ever addressed in fiction (and are specific criteria for certain psychotic disorders). I will talk about some of these in one of my lists! This is something to be aware of regardless, but especially if you’re going to be depicting a specific disorder, because often there are a lot more symptoms/criteria that go into a psychotic disorder than people think and you’ll want to do your research on the disorder in question.

Anyway so this is a HUGE question and I’ve broken my response into some lists, we’ve got some lists, we’ve got a general what to do list, a general what not to do list, and a things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context list

some non-exhaustive lists, hey, because I’m sure I’ve forgotten a bunch of things that I’ll think of later and be like Oh Man I Forgot That Thing

and I wanna emphasise re my what to do and what not to do lists, these lists are gonna be fairly general, because without knowing your specific story and the character in question, I can’t cover all the things, yeah? For me to get super specific with these lists it would depend on the character in question, the premise of your story, the setting, the specific symptoms you want to represent, etc, etc…

ANYWAY

LIST TIME

AND READMORE TIME UNDER THE CUT

we’re gonna start with….. (because my first dot point is my most important and literally no other reason)

What not to do

Firstly, don’t freak out. Try not to get overwhelmed! Honestly it can seem like a really huge thing to tackle, but don’t let anxiety about getting it wrong stop you from trying, if you decide that this is something you want to include for your character. You can start small, you can work bits and pieces into your character, you can explore different things and see what happens! Anyone who is writing an experience that they themselves haven’t experienced is bound to make some mistakes, and that’s more than okay! Be open to learning and listening!

Don’t use psychosis for a cheap plot twist or shock value. Hey, there’s lots and lots of ableist twists and tropes out there involving psychosis. Stuff like “none of it was real, it was just some crazy mentally ill person’s fantasy the whole time!!!!” tends to be tired and stale at best and horribly ableist at worst. Also certain tropes in fantasy settings such as schizophrenia being caused by demons can get real dicey real quick. If you want to go the direction of having some sort of “twist” around it, definitely ask around and get some opinions from psychotic people on it. Like, absolutely, twists around psychosis can be done, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them.

Don’t present psychosis as some sort of horrible dead end or the worst possible thing that can happen to a person. This is something I see a weird amount of? Please do your best not to present psychosis as some awful world-ending tragedy, do your best not to treat it like some sort of fate worse than death. Like absolutely psychosis can be debilitating and exhausting and difficult to deal with at times, but as a non-psychotic author please do not use it as, like, grief p-rn or whatever. Also we end up dying at the end of a lot of stories and that’s supposed to be, like, a relief? Like “oh they never would have had a happy life, this is probably for the best” and like whoa that’s not probably not a great message to be sending. You can definitely delve into some of the challenges and struggles of psychosis but be really mindful of the way you’re talking about it. And the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, fulfilling lives is something that needs to die like yesterday

Don’t have the character’s psychosis only present when it’s convenient for the plot. This goes for any mental illness, and I see it with every mental illness. It’s something that exists in the plot only when it’s cool and edgy, or only when it’s convenient, or only when it’s relevant. Or, the illness will exist, but only the symptoms that the author can glamorise or use for edgy plot purposes. Another way of phrasing this is psychosis doesn’t exist in your story just to make it interesting. It’s not something you can dip in and out of and only commit to when it’s easy or when it suits your story. That doesn’t mean it has to be the sole focus or all-encompassing, but it does mean you need to actually commit.

If you’re not psychotic, I highly highly highly advise against writing a psychotic villain. And I know me saying outright “don’t write a psychotic villain” is probably gonna strike some nerves for people because blah blah people can write whatever they want and blah blah there’s a way to do everything respectfully and blah blah what if my psychotic villain is a sympathetic character and morally complex and not all bad and look, I get it, I get it, I get it

I’m sure it is possible to write an interesting, morally complex, respectfully-depicted psychotic villain, but that’s not the point, that’s not the problem! The issue is that we have barely any psychotic heroes and protagonists and good guys! We have no positive rep to balance it out! We might have more space for well-written psychotic villains if we had an equal amount of psychotic good guys. Like…. psychosis is terrifying and isolating enough to deal with on its own, but adding to this is the fact that most of the representation we see is in the form of villains, antagonists, killers, etc. and like…. not only is that awful to see as a psychotic person, but fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and psychosis is already misunderstood and demonised enough

This is less a hard-and-fast DON’T DO THIS and more just a very very strong opinion, like, I can’t stop you if that’s what you’re doing but just. something to bear in mind, y’know?

And now onto:

What to do

Listen to psychotic people in your research! (You knew this one was coming, hopefully!) A whole serious tonne of your research should come in the form of sources by actual psychotic people, like, read their work! Read their books! Read their papers! Visit blogs, visit forums, listen to their experiences! Listen to their experiences of the specific symptoms you want to include in your story! Most importantly, take in what they’re saying and don’t assume you know better than them about their lived experiences!

You’ll get a much better sense of how psychosis affects people and the different ways people deal with it, and you will learn things you would not have even considered otherwise! Medical webpages and articles are fine but if you want a realistic portrayal, this is absolutely not an optional step. I have read way too many books with psychotic rep written by authors who have clearly just………. never actually listened to a psychotic person talk about their experiences in their entire life and it’s actually mind-boggling to me

On this note, I follow a lot of psychosis support and information blogs on here for psychosis reasons, but a lot of these blogs are okay with and happy for people to follow them for learning or to gain a better knowledge of psychosis to support others in their lives or to ask questions about experiences. You can also find a lot of YouTube channels where people with psychosis talk about their experiences. These sorts of things can be a good place to start!

Research psychosis itself, not “writing psychotic characters”. General advice posts about how to write psychotic characters can be a good jumping off point and link to some good resources, but they’re a step removed and shouldn’t form the entire basis of your research. These posts can be great, especially if they’re made by people who experience psychosis, but they’re still meant as a starting point and you should be doing your own research as well. As a general rule, your research shouldn’t come primarily through the lens of “how do I write a psychotic character”, and should very much come through the lens of “what are psychotic experiences?” and “how do people deal with psychosis?” and “how does psychosis affect people?” and other such questions, so that you have the knowledge of to write these characters.

Also, because “how to write psychotic characters” as a google search will lead you through a plethora of terrible pages titled things like “HOW TO WRITE AN INSANE UNSTABLE CHARACTER!!!” and things that equate psychosis to being inherently violent, evil, unstable, dangerous, etc. and, I mean, I shouldn’t have to tell you that there’s absolutely nothing of value to be found in these pages? But hey.

On that note, ableist language is a huge red flag for “hey this source is a bad source”. Be mindful of your non-psychotic sources.

Be aware that there are also negative and cognitive symptoms of psychosis, and positive symptoms other than hallucinations and delusions. So I mentioned this a bit earlier, that there are a lot of other facets of psychosis that I rarely see addressed in fiction. For a lot of psychotic and schizospec disorders the symptoms can fall under the categories of positive symptoms (which “add” something, eg, delusions, hallucinations (auditory, visual, tactile, pretty much any sense) disorganised behaviour, disorganised speech), negative symptoms (which “take away”, eg, lack of motivation, flat affect, reduced speech, social withdrawal) and cognitive symptoms (eg, memory problems, disorganised thoughts, concentration problems, difficulty processing information). For most people with psychosis there will be a range of symptoms across these areas. Even if you’re not currently experiencing positive symptoms, negative and cognitive symptoms can be affecting areas of your life as well.

Of course, it’s definitely possible to experience only a handful of symptoms and there are plenty of people who experience some symptoms of psychosis outside of having a specific psychotic disorder, so it depends on what applies to your character. That being said, it is something I would love to see a lot more of in fiction because it’s………. honestly a really huge part of psychosis experience for a majority of people? And it can really help a realistic representation, as well as giving some visibility to other, less-known effects of psychosis. THAT being said, if you are writing a specific disorder such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective, etc, including other symptoms is definitely not optional. There are a lot of cookie-cutter representations of disorders like schizophrenia that barely cover half of what schizophrenia actually involves. Again, research is ur best bud

Understand that for a lot of people, psychosis isn’t really a switch that flips from ON to OFF. What I mean by this is for a lot of people, while psychosis can come in episodes, it affects most of a person’s life one way or another. Like for me personally, even on my best week, it’s still something that shapes the way I understand the world and it’s a lens through which I interpret the reality around me. It’s not something that disappears completely. It’s not something I can untangle from my gender and my sexuality or my experiences of religion or my relationships, it’s not necessarily something I can untangle from myself as a person. I have a different relationship with the world around me, and that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a nice thing. Sometimes it’s a difficult thing. Mostly, it’s just a thing. So when you’re writing a character who experiences psychosis, consider the ways it might present itself and what affects of it might be present outside of an episode. This might be in the way they see the world, or the way they speak, or the way they go about their every day life such as rituals or safety or clothing choices or things they avoid. Honestly there’s such a huge diverse range of experiences and it will depend on your character.

Understand that no two experiences of psychosis are going to be the same. Again, “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of symptoms that can come in any number of combinations and presentations, and even two people with the exact same set of symptoms can have those symptoms expressed in entirely different ways. Even two people with the same disorder are going to have different experiences of it. And beyond the differences in psychosis itself, the experience of psychosis intersects with other aspects of a person’s identity such as sexuality, gender, race, religion, etc. in fairly major ways as well. There’s not a “one size fits all” when it comes to experiencing psychosis. Consider what sorts of experiences might impact your character and understand the diversity of experiences! Research, research

Remember that first and foremost, you’re writing a character. They have a life, opinions, likes, dislikes, neighbours, goals, whatever. Their experience with psychosis may be something that shapes their life significantly and something that affects a lot of other facets of their experience, or it might not be, but either way it’s not the only part of their identity. Your character should be just as varied and nuanced and in-depth as any of your other characters.

and now a definitely non-exhaustive list but a list that’s good enough for now considering my brain is fried:

Things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context

Casual, everyday depictions of going about life with psychosis. I mean, this is just in general, in general I would love to see more representation in fiction of mentally ill characters going about their daily lives alongside Whatever Nonsense is going on in the main plot, where it’s acknowledged that they’re also attending therapy or taking meds or dealing with symptoms or in treatment. I think it can go a huge way in the normalisation of people dealing with mental illness and the fact that mental illness is a part of some people’s lives. I would love to see this specifically in stories that aren’t About Mental Illness. Like, an urban fantasy story where a character is shown casually taking their meds? Or a YA story where a character mentions they can’t do a particular thing ‘cause they have a psych appointment booked for that day? Or characters using coping strategies and it’s not treated as weird or other? Just, characters with psychosis, existing, in their every day lives

Supportive friends and family, or good support networks in general. Partly because I’m a sucker for found family tropes and cheesy power of friendship stories, but like, psychotic characters with friends who support them and understand them and who help them with their coping strategies! Psychotic characters with healthy support systems and friendships! Psychotic characters who get to goof off and have fun with their friends, and who get to support and help their friends! Psychotic characters who get to have romantic relationships with supportive partners!

Happy endings! I mentioned this earlier, too, like…… in terms of representation, so much of what’s out there is either psychotic characters as villains or psychotic characters dying tragically, and this over and over and over again, y’know, eventually the message being driven home is “there is no good ending for you!” which is………. bullshit, obviously. But it can be terribly isolating and scary to internalise if you’re experiencing psychosis, and even if you know it’s bullshit, it’s exhausting! You want to see yourself represented as someone who has a future and can be happy! As I said earlier, the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, whole, fulfilling lives needs to die, and we are in dire, dire need of stories with good endings for psychotic people.

Explicit representation of specific disorders. I was going to say that schizophrenia is something most people think of when it comes to psychosis representation in fiction, but like, honestly, a lot of those writers don’t even do the bare minimum research for what schizophrenia involves and they have a really stereotyped version of the disorder that they clearly haven’t researched at all……. but anyway yes, my point is, there are a lot of different psychotic disorders, and I would love to see some of them represented explicitly, and not just left vague and unlabelled. I would also like to see accurate, well-researched, actual representation of schizophrenia. I would also like to see psychotic depression! Or schizotypal personality disorder! Or schizoaffective! I’d like to see some actual names

Anyway that’s all that’s coming to me right now even though I’ve probably missed like fifty things for each of these lists……………… I hope that this has been a little bit helpful, maybe, somewhat, perhaps, who knows, I reserve the right to come back and say more things,

#Anonymous #hngnhnhgrwejrhgihrg i always type answers like this and then i'm like #ok but is any of this what u actually wanted?#i hope i've been somewhat useful or at least sorta pointed you in some directions #disclaimer i'm just one person of many people and my word is just like. my thoughts. my opinions. i guess #also be proud of me for going this entire post without using the phrase ''first and foremosterly'' which is my current thing for some #godforsaken reason #i'm really here for first and foremosterly and here for therefore and thusly #considering ''alasly'' as well that could be fun #going to pepper these into my vocabulary starting today #none of that is relevant whatsoever to this post i'm just tired

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