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#especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are
vinillain · 3 days
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Great wave chapter 2 spoilers// analysis cuz ahahahaha Adamai… when I get you…
Alr, rant because I’m the biggest Yugo & Adamai fan of all time. And I overanalyzed this chapter to death.
And how the way Adamai treats Yugo is one of the main reasons he’s distant from Amalia.
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This pattern of behavior isn’t new, in s4 he was quick to come to Yugo’s defense when Nora was chastising him. Using words like “we” and because both of them were still feeling the euphoria of their reconciliation came to each-others defense in a new unfamiliar environment. But after he sees how shady and “heroic” their family is he ops to leave, and does so without explaining himself (about the dofus) to Yugo or trys to convince him to come along. Something he definitely would have done in s1-2. (And this is because they have grown so far apart the bond they once had is distant, albeit still there)
This behavior is similar, and again appears here in their entire conversation.
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Yugo who was brooding and trying to be alone after his vision is greeted by Adamai, who IS genuinely worried about Yugo, since Yugo now carries the dofus of their people he and Adamai’s bond is “strengthened tenfold” allowing him to “almost hear his thoughts” and definitely feel his fear and dark feelings. And he immediately calls Yugo out when he tries to hide how upset he was (which tbh he likely does because of Adamai’s next reaction in a bit, meaning this is a common cycle)
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Eventually after some talk Yu breaks down and is honest that he isn’t okay. That his visions terrified him, and here Adamai isn’t dismissive right off the bat, he states that he could feel how bad it was because of their bond, and knew it must have been bad if it shook Yugo up this much
And Yugo tells him about the vision and how “I am the cause.” To which Adamai questions as he seems to think internally, and Yugo like in chapter one with Amalia doesn’t question anything, again he only says “It was real.”
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(I am roughly paraphrasing their dialogue so it’s not 100% accurate)
At this point Adamai scoffs at him to which Yugo who’s still upset by his vision flips out on him starting an argument. Asking if he “bores” Adamai
And Adamai tells him he needs to think with his head. He possesses the power of a god and can’t afford to think with emotions. Which is true, TOT said that Adamai was the logic to Yugo’s actions. He is the thought and the anchor, but while he isn’t wrong for saying this, the way he went about it is making things worse, but it also it makes sense why he did act this way towards Yugo.
Adamai is not someone who bases his feelings on emotions anymore.
He’s spent his entire childhood training and getting ready to meet Yugo and find their people. After the loss of Grougal he has spent his entire life trying to fill the void with an adult parental figure who holds power and wisdom that can help him achieve his goals the way he knows mortals can’t. Hence the “we needed someone with more guidance” like in s4 to Yugo. We don’t see exactly what happened to him from the OVA’s-s3. But we know it had a drastic change on him physically and especially mentally. And a big part of that is that he essentially became a vessel to their peoples dofus. In order to cope with his own trauma and feelings and taking on that responsibility of all this power he surprised any emotions or feelings that could cause him to act rash or get in the way of his main goals.
And when he did let his emotions take over because of his blind rage, he ended up hurting people he cared about which left him even more apprehensive to show any ever again. (Hence why he left his newly found family in s4) But in doing this to such an exstent the way he does, he never actually solves any personal problems of conflicts. Especially with his loved ones. He can’t rekindle his bond with Yugo or try to fix their relationship because he refuses to show any vulnerability. Which makes sense after he was left behind, betrayed and hurt so many times, and more so when he realized that he hurt others in his own pain. He doesn’t want to get hurt or hurt others again.
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And as he states, Yugo has power beyond any mortal comprehension. He now carries the weight and responsibility of their people, and their siblings dofus. Honestly just their peoples future in general. He holds power, power many people want to steal from him or rid him of. Adamai compares Yugo’s situation to how he had to handle the dofus. That he needs to swallow any emotions and think logically. Which he has always done more out of the two of them. Vulnerability is a weakness to him. And Adamai doesn’t want Yugo to get hurt or hurt others like he has in the past.
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He is cruel and harsh in his words. Telling Yugo he does “bore” him. And completely downplays his twin’s feelings because he sees them as being weak. But he DOES care about Yugo, in his eyes Yu will end up suffering more if he shows this vulnerability. It’s why he is mean and tells Yugo he can’t be acting like a child when he has all this responsibility and power in his hands. This isn’t the same when they were little kids, the stakes for them and their people are much hire now.
But to Yugo, who’s tried to fix their relationship countless times, is naturally upset at this. He feels unheard, that’s he’s being over dramatic and that his feelings don’t matter. That he isn’t allowed to be upset at his own trauma. Which is something i think paralells Goddess Eliatrope. How people dismiss her feelings and say she’s overreacting. That she needs to “get over herself” because she is a great goddess with all this power. Etc. something I hope we see more with Yugo aswell.
Being a king already isolates him enough, being a demigod with all this power does so even more. To Yugo, Adamai is the only one he can turn too when he’s upset. It’s why he was so desperate to find him in s3. Over growing old and being immortal. The problems that mortals can’t comprehend. (Something that definitely upsets him because the more power and godhood he gains the more distance he has between himself and his loved ones.) But when he opens up to Adamai about his fears and issues he is shut down or ignored. And that’s why he won’t open up to Amalia. If Ad dismisses and scoffs at his feelings then why should he try to open up to her? He adores and loves Amalia and fears the rejection she might give him. It’s why the moment she was slightly dismissive with her “Calm down, it was just a dream” he immediately leaves to be alone. He already has to deal with Adamai, he doesn’t want her to do it to him too.
But by doing this he is hurting her too. Like him Amalia is STRESSED beyond belief. She has a ton of weight and responsibility on her shoulders. And she can’t manage the conflicts of her people (especially with the eliatropes) If Yugo isn’t there to help her, If Yugo won’t be vulnerable to her. If he doesn’t trust her or won’t rely on her with his problems then how can she? How can she be open with him if he runs away from her at the deepest issues when they share so much intimacy and love.
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Their is already clear tension among the Sadida’s and the (VERY FEW) Eliatropes who now live among them. Many are unhappy with the changes, some openly voicing how “Armand would never have allowed this” suggesting they don’t like Yugo as their king either. And the old man talking about how he lost his son in the war, that the eliatropes haven’t faced sacrifice. (And this is despite that fact that they don’t know anything about their past or the war they went through, how they lost their own families- claiming they don’t understand Sadidan culture or tradition but never trying to learn the other sides either.)
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Communication is the key to relationships. Being open and vulnerable is how we understand eachother. Something reflected in the main three so far and the Sadidans+Eliatropes. Yugo keeps shutting Amalia out because of how Adamai treats him. Creating this endless cycle of distrust among the two and it’s reflected in their own people. Both could be amazing rulers and created a better place if they were both open with each-other. But they won’t, and unless Adamai and in turn Yugo open up and show vulnerability. They don’t have to show all of it, trust is slowly gained. Little by little in a healthy manner. But if Yugo doesn’t then the discourse and tension will continue to grow among all their people. (And if you’ve seen the teaser for a certain upcoming chapter you can see how that’s going 😭😭😭)
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Anyway, in conclusion: someone please get them therapy
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mudstoneabyss · 3 months
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actually. the specific phrasing that boy Kevin wants to kill older Kevin with "I must disassemble him, piece by piece, so that everything inside of the Old Kevin comes out. Only then can the New Kevin truly begin." is so incredibly the idea that to heal from trauma and "improve" you have to destroy every "wrong" part of yourself, that everything "tainted" by it has to somehow be replaced by something untouched (which isn't possible)
#reading back that phrasing I do think that'll be the way brinknor takes it#this arcs seeming like it'll be so. breaking the cycle of abuse and violence and coming to terms with yourself#and maybe understanding that you can never remove the parts of you impacted by trauma and start again completely ''pure''#but you can treat yourself with the kindness you should've been given#which i hope it is that because. and understand i am biased. but i'd love that direction for Kevin#it feels much more satisfying than any more. angsty way this arc could go imo#like he's been through enough!#because of the way Kevin is portrayed in fanon. not as frequently anymore but still pretty common. I worry about coming off as woobifying#by saying I want him to heal I want him to have nice things I think he deserves them#when he's also simultaneously Not A Good Person#yknow the poor little innocent cinnamon roll baby etc etc fanon#but. well for one im Not Like That about him. but my main point of bringing that up is. him not being a good person is why I want to see hi#get better and generally have a good life. why does someone have to be good to deserve to heal from trauma#especially when trauma is a big reason for the way they are#like its fiction yeah yeah i'm still tired of mentally ill people having to be ''good'' to ''deserve'' to get better yknow#i mean especially in fiction you tend to either see mental illness as the poor traumatized one who's allowed recovery because they're nice#or the insane psychopath who cant be ''fixed'' so ''deserves'' bad things-up to deserving to die!- for it#i didnt mean for this to be a rant erm. oops#wtnv#wtnv spoilers#joyousposting
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strawberrybabydog · 2 months
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for me, some level of trauma related to being the least-favourite child is directly related to playing videogames and boredom
growing up my younger sister got handed the SNES controller and i didnt. she played with my parents and by herself and i watched but didnt play. sometimes this was because i wasnt allowed and other times i thought it was a choice, even though, my choice was because i didnt know how to play and if i asked my mom would have said "really? you want me to start a whole new save file JUST for you?" and i would have quietly said nevermind, and remembered not to ask ever again
when we got a wii, for my sister's birthday she got 2 wii games. for my birthday i got decorations even though i was too young to understand what a decoration is and i just tried playing with them (emphasis on try). sometimes i would come home from school and my sister would have a random gift (something i never got) - another wii game! because it was on sale at blockbuster, and oh sorry Luna, we didnt get anything for you because they didnt have anything you would like.
by the end of our wii, i had 1 wii game that was mine - i chose whenever i wanted to play it, for how long, and if anyone else wanted to play it they had to ask. that was the rules, because it was mine. my younger sister has 11 wii games.
when i was in middle school, i was not allowed to get a better (real) console. it was too expensive. plus, we have the wii, it works perfectly fine, just play on that. m...my one game? that i've been playing since i was 9? that i've 100%'d 5 times? yes.
when i was in highschool i wasnt allowed to have money, especially not to spend online. "luckily" i met an internet friend who was a hacker and sold what he claimed to be abandoned steam accounts. he gave me one for free. i played stardew valley and oblivion religiously, because my laptop was built in 2010 and could barely handle the lowest graphics settings of a game several years older than it. it ended up getting double-hacked so after a year of using it, i once again had no more videogames
now im an adult and i just... cant play videogames. basically none of them. after abut 30 minutes of playing i get so anxious that i have to stop. i havent played stardew valley in about 2 years, my favourite game of all time that i used to stay up until 8am playing.
the game loads, and im anxious because i forget the controls. i walk up to an npc and get anxious because if i dont pick the perfect dialogue tree, im failing myself by not being perfect, so i'll pause the game and go on my phone for 10 minutes to find the answer (i HATE doing this.) i approach a puzzle and im anxious because what if im not smart enough to solve it and i fail again? i need to check if anyone's in the room with me now because if anyone is watching me play they'll know i'm a failure too so i should stop playing. but, videogames are communal (they must be,) i have only ever experienced playing them with someone else there (watching sibling/parents play, watching youtube letsplays) but if someone else sees me fail i'm the worst person ever. and i mean, realistically, how do you even play a videogame for more than 1 hour? how do focus on 1 thing for that long? sounds fake to me
but... i want to play videogames. i know they're experiences. and i want to have experiences. especially because as a disabled person my only other option is youtube. so if i'm not playing videogames, i'm bored out of my skull laying in bed, doing nothing, staring at my youtube screen watching the exact same video essay for the 6th or 7th time this week because the algorythm's only other choice is "perfect damascus steel knife blade DIY"
other than youtube, what am i supposed to do? i cant play videogames - i'm not perfect at them, i cant focus, and i just dont deserve them. there is nothing else.
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harmoonix · 2 months
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🍄 Retro - Astro 🍄
(Astrology Observations)
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ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯
🍄 - I love to stare in the eyes of the natives with Neptune - Asc aspects, most of my friends have such aspects and they truly have beautiful eyes
🍄 - Pluto in Sagittarius Generation is really meant to give and normalize things back to normal, and for example bringing things that were used in the past and to normalize them again
🍄 - Wanna know why so many Aquarius Suns may act so different and unique? Sun is ruled by Leo and Aquarius is its opposite sign so sun acts different in Aquarius
🍄 - Neptune and Mercury aspects can indicate love for music and most times for old music or old music style, you know liking those songs from the 90's
🍄 - One fast way to learn your sign houses in your birth chart is to know the order of the zodiac signs, this method worked with me for example you have Gemini Rising and Leo Sun > Your sun will be in the 3rd house because Leo is 1 sign (Cancer) apart from Gemini
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🍄 - 8°, 20° degrees on the Midheaven attract jealousy really fast, envy too and sometimes can even get hate without a reason, on the other hand people can become obsessed with them
🍄 - Sagittarius in your 4th/12th house axis can come from more nationalities/ethnicity/race like having more than 1 background country ancestry (or your ancestors/family members)
🍄 - Lilith in your 9th/12th or 4th house can indicate ancestors or family members working with the occult/witchcraft/magic/tarot etc...
🍄 - Sun in the 12th house natives have an ongoing karma, basically they are working on their karma constantly
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🍄 - Virgo Moon's beauty is underatted, they are so beautiful and they can actually look younger because of the Mercury's youth effect
🍄 - I remember once checking on google about Jupiter in Virgo husband (my sidereal Jupiter placement) and I got this:
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I can't tell if this is real or not tbh 😭😭
🍄 - Neptune aspecting Chiron will literally empower your subconscious with a lot of intuition, spirituality like you really have the chance to heal your subconscious in case is hurt with those placements
🍄 - Everyone I know with Cancer Placements gets so DEPRESSED based on the weather, and omg I'm not joking or something if the weather outside is bad they're gonna be depressed or in a bad mood
🍄 - Every time I see someones chart with 10th house placements especially Sun and Venus there I know they got the cash bag 💰💰
🍄 - Not gonna lie knowing how organized Virgo placements are, I think natives with Virgo in the 4th house have the most most most most most most organized house-castle ever just like in Cinderella and everything looking perfect
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🍄 - You can spot health problems in a chart by looking at their 6th house sign (both in tropcial and sidereal) looking at the ruler/lord of the 6th house and of course the planets (if there are) in the 6H house
🍄 - Stelliums play a very big role in a chart (A stellium is when you have 3 or more than 3 planets in a house) and indicates a big focus in that area
🍄 - Empty houses play a very big role as well, and an empty house is not a bad thing or something but spirituality talking it indicates an area you already completed in your past life
🍄 - Let me tell you how tricky Venus in Capricorn can be to make you fall in love with matured enough people and sometimes the karma comes and strikes and says "They're not the one for you"
🍄 - Moon in the 9th house is another tricky placement to have because in harsh aspects it can indicate a religious trauma and sometimes it can indicate love for religion/beliefs you understand what I mean...😭😭
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🍄 - A lot of people who happens to get betrayed have Pluto/Saturn Lilith and sometimes Neptune in the 11th house, (I know all the people can get betrayed but these are just some indicators
🍄 - Sagittarius/Jupiter in the 11th house can be blessed with friends or in general having luck with their friendships and social networks, sometimes their friends can come from a different background than them
🍄 - Mercury at 10°, 22° degrees really can have a deeper voice than others (depends on aspects) but their voice is so damn attractive
🍄 - Uranus and Lilith in the 5th house can get confused if they will want or not to have kids like is difficult and in the same time draining for them (Lilith in general in that house natives don't want kids but is just my thoughts on it)
🍄 - Sagittarius Midheaven/Midheaven in the 9th house or in Sagittarius Degrees 9°, 21° really need to chose something the job/career they're passionate about because it grants them luck
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🍄 - Midheaven at Aries Degrees 1°, 13°, 25° or MC in Aries have a big chance to get a leader position at their job or having the main character energy
🍄 - I tell you Gemini Moons and Moon in the 3rd house natives have the best tea ("Tea" as a gen z slang means gossip) like gossips stories i honestly wonder from where or who they know so many things im so invested y'all 😭😍
🍄 - 2nd house and the Moon Sign represent food in the birth chart, and I know water/earth ones love sweets so much
🍄 - If you want to know more about your true self check your Ascendant ruler persona chart, AND if you have 2 planets rulers check both persona charts for ex if you are Scorpio Risings check your Mars and Pluto persona charts, sadly for Leo Risings their natal chart is pretty much their true self (There is no Sun persona chart😭)
🍄 - Leo in the 7th house can have the same problem like your natal chart pretty much tells you about your future spouse because there is no Sun persona chart to look for in case you wanna look for your 7th house ruler persona chart 😭
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🍄 - Cancer Risings in your D9 (vedic) chart can indicate a nurturing spouse or in general your partner has a very nurturing and kind energy
🍄 - I admire 6th house Placements for how much they want to keep themselves healthy like is a top priority and i respect that so much, because your health matters so much in life ♥️♥️♥️🙌🏼
🍄 - Aries Placements especially Aries Juno I love their energy. They just give that leader and confident/powerful vibe (boss vibe) in the chart also someone very bold and funny I love them
🍄 - Draconic Chart is the chart of your soul before reincarnation/coming to earth and the placements are indicating how your soul expected to be on earth (like their life), and im gonna cry I have Saturn in the 7th house in this chart as well. my soul knew I will have to wait for that specific person to come 😭 I'm done...
🍄 - Mercury in the 11th house makes socially open natives they get along so good with most people because of their social skills, they're also smart, creative and very open minded too
🍄 - Pluto in the 12th house has a chance to become very powerful in this life because this placement usually indicates an painful karma, you will certainly experience a lot of good and bad things in your current life
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💝 This post was more like at a spiritual level 💝
Be blessed you all who read my observations 💝
ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯ྉ☯
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sunderwight · 4 months
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Bingqiu AU where SY and LBH grow up as childhood friends (idk maybe they're both at QJP but Shen Jiu is less of an asshole, or maybe SY transmigrates into Random Village Bully Child No.3 when Binghe's mom is still alive -- or both) and there's none of the tension of the idea of "one day Luo Binghe is going to rip my limbs off" for Shen Yuan.
So he and LBH can just be bros! Fantastic! Shen Yuan has never had a little brother before but he's had a little sister, he knows how to do this. Just spoil the cute kid rotten!
It's only fair compensation for how many terrible things LBH is gonna have to endure on the road to ruling the world, after all. SY also feels more freedom to change minor aspects of the plot around, too, like maybe he'll stop Liu Qingge from dying, definitely he can help LBH get a better start to his cultivation journey, and maybe the abyss and xin mo thing doesn't really need to happen...?
The list of things SY considers meddling with ends up including wives.
Like really, come on now, Luo Binghe may be a stallion protagonist but there's no need for that many women. Especially when at least half of them are just increasingly cheap copies of the other half, and that's being generous about it. Some of PIDW Binghe's wives were, frankly, horrible people. And if he's being honest about it, it wasn't fair of Binghe himself to take on that many either. Even if anyone would naturally give their left arm to be the protagonist's wife, after a certain point Binghe just can't spend that much time actually with them! And then he can't form the kinds of deep and meaningful bonds which might actually help heal his trauma!
SY's not looking to interfere too much, of course. Ning Yingying is not his favorite wife, but she's fine. She causes trouble but it isn't on purpose, and she's genuinely sweet and willing to befriend Binghe before he's anything special (although even now, it's obvious Binghe is special). Ning Yingying can stay.
And of course, so can Best Wife Liu Mingyan.
But Sha Hualing? Well, she offers some political advantages, and as the demon wives go she's not the worst. She's kind of iconic and was very popular, but Shen Yuan thinks the harem could do without her scheming and malicious attitude towards the other wives. The cost of harmony was too high for the political bonuses offered, especially when Binghe might as well just take her ancestral lands by force and be done with it. He's going to advise against that match.
And the Qin sisters. Sure there's the legendary threesome, but Wanrong's dead weight and it never struck SY quite right how Qin Wanyue pressured Luo Binghe into sex. The threesome wasn't even good anyway.
Better Qin Wanyue than the Little Palace Mistress on that front, though. But aish, that's complicated, the Palace Mistress is even more politically vital to securing HHP than Sha Hualing is for her father's kingdom, and almost as bad for the peace and harmony of the harem. Ultimately SY will leave it up to Binghe, but if Binghe asks, he's going to advise against the Huan Hua wives too.
With thoughts like this in mind, SY starts talking to Binghe about how to establish a household, what to look for in a spouse (or twenty), and other topics of that nature. What sort of household Luo Binghe ought to strive to have, and what sorts of standards he should himself to. Also while of course assuring him that Shen Yuan isn't interested in women. Lest he worry that Shen Yuan might be trying to steal any of the wives from him, at any point. He's not competition!
SY: I am helping to pave the way for Binghe to have better marital relationships! I am the best big brother slash best buddy ever! don't worry, no matter what happens to Binghe, this gege will be your no.1 cheerleader forever!
LBH: is he saying I should get a palace if I want to marry him? well... that sounds reasonable. ok, I will do it! (•̀ ω •́)✧
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chitra111goddess · 3 months
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VEDIC ASTROLOGY NOTES ♡
(Can apply to any planet placement)
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⚡️Ashwini women always stand out to me with their creativity especially in acting , they rly know to embody the character they're playing to the fullest even irl it may be easier for them to shift thro different identities or alter-egos just for funsies
⚡️There's smtg about purva phalguni women , they're gorgeous but for some reason I noticed they get hate esp from other women like they're called fake or pick-mes or they make up stories hmm
⚡️Purva ashadha women are so inspiring like they're always the ones to be teaching or preaching or saying smtg inspiring/motivational. They're beauties with soul and a mind of their own ! If u know a purva ashadha better take notes 📝
⚡️Magha women love wearing black and something about their looks or style is unconventional/gothy, it suits them
⚡️Uttara-phalguni women are so headstrong bruh and they have this leadership aura about them, they're gonna do what THEY think is right. Like other sun-ruled nakshatras they easily get attention
⚡️Mrigashira women love the push & pull , cat &mouse game, they either attract this dynamic or they create it themselves. There's also smth about Mrigashira and obsession 👀
⚡️Jyestha women embody the wild feminine archetype imo, when evolved theyre truly empowered and have this idgaf energy. people may be threatened by their power or skills. Their voice or the way the speak is commanding and naturally charismatic
⚡️Swati/ardra and their eyes 👁👁 most captivating eyes imo I'm in luv
⚡️Purva bhadrapada women seem to attract or be drawn to men with dark nature or men who carry trauma ? Or they know how to bring that out in a man
⚡️Dhanishta women love dancing and they appear to be friendly or have many acquaintances but very little people they relate to. Popular girlies
⚡️Rohini women feminine energy is undeniable , something about them feels innocent yet erotic. They just give off this juicy fertile vibee lmao💦 unlike jyestha which is more dry (not in a bad way its just different 💀)
⚡️Anuradha women are secretive as hell even if they tell u shit don't think u have them all figured out. there's so much to unpack with them , they're generally intriguing complex characters
⚡️Most bratty nakshatras are mrigashira and chitra lmao
⚡️Revati women are pretty privilege girlies also they're master manipulators 👀 they know how to use their femininity to get what they want
⚡️Pushya women have big MOMMY energy. they seem/look mature. They're either the ones taking care of others or others take care of them
⚡️Uttara bhadrapada women have dualistic nature they're either the sweetest ppl u know or ur worst nightmare depending on who theyre dealing with 💀they're like a mirror projecting and reflecting back ur inner self back at ya (Pisces energy) also don't forget the karmic saturn influence.. u don't wanna mess w them or any other saturn ruled woman
⚡️Viahaka women go through intense ups and downs , starting from their good girl phase then they snap and go wild then they mature/become spiritual
⚡️Chitra women secretly (or not so secretly) enjoy drama , they're either the ones caught up in it or they play the role of the "judge" where they can solve conflicts between others. Somehow they're surrounded by it.
⚡️Don't underestimate krittika women especially when it comes to survival 💀 these women can be dangerous and will stab a bitch if they rly had to (whether its for defending loved ones or them surviving) their symbol is 🔪 after all and taurus/aries gives them that survival instinct
⚡️Ardra women can make great poets/song writers , their creativity and inspiration stems from their own 'tragic' experiences
⚡️Punarvasu women remind me of that quote "home is where the heart is" they always end up coming back to their origins and what they feel in their heart
Lemme know ur thoughts & what I should make next
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leqonsluv3r · 2 months
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nsfw alphabet
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an: happy valentine’s day my lovelies!! i’m working on the oneshot currently but i thought i could get this out to tide you guys over until then. :,)) but ily all mwah mwah xx have a great day my loves. also imagine whatever leon u want, i just used re4 for aesthetic purposes <33
masterlist taglist
MDNI BELOW!!! 18+ only, istg.
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A — aftercare (what are they like after sex?)
leon is BIG on aftercare, especially if he was rough with you. he’ll caress your body and make sure your doing okay. he will even sprinkle your face in kisses and tell you how good you did afterwards. he loves making sure you know that he enjoys these moments with you. also cuddles, just know this man needs it after the trauma he has endured.
B — body part (their favorite part of their partners body)
leon loves your lips and your tits, know this man loves every inch of you. but if he had to choose, it would definitely be your lips and your boobs. he’s definitely a boob guy, i just have a feeling.
your favorite part of him, his arms and his back, you love coating it in scratches (and he lets you). and you love how safe you feel when he holds you, not just during sex but all the time.
C — cum (what do they…do with it? or think of it?)
leon loves coming inside of you, manz cannot get enough of it. he loves watching you beg beneath him to fill you up. but if he had to have it his way, he’d cum all over your pretty tits and lick them clean of his spend.
D — dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)
leon hates to admit it, but he loves those special times when he’s too exhausted and you just take control in the bedroom. he doesn’t like to admit it, but it gets him hard to think about you being dominant with him.
E — experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
leon is definitely experienced, he uses that to his advantage when he pins you down, bends you over, etc. he knows what he’s doing and he’s not afraid to show you that if your testing his patience.
F — favorite position (do i even have to explain?)
leon loves any position in sex with you, hell, the man is practically addicted to you. he takes you from behind, in missionary, etc. but if he had to pick, it would be when he puts you in a mating press and hits that spot that makes you see stars and makes your pretty face fall into moans and whines. he just loves seeing you fall apart and this position is perfect for that.
G — goofy (are they serious in the moment? or are they more goofy?)
leon is definitely serious at times when he has sex with you. but there are times when he’s kissing you and hears you let out little giggles that make his heart melt and he can’t deny how wide his grin gets. so therefore, he has his silly moments.
H — hair (how well groomed are they?)
leon is definitely groomed. he has hair where it counts; a small patch above his cock, beautiful and trimmed and a happy trail. he doesn’t have hair on his chest but he has some hair on his arms, a beautiful feeling when you run your hands over it. you don’t find it gross, it’s just the right amount of body hair on a man you want. he has some stubble when he doesn’t shave for a few days and when he’s eating you out, it definitely adds pleasure. (he doesn’t shave until afterwards for this reason entirely)
I — intimacy (how are they doing during the moment? the romantic aspect)
when leon first had sex with you, it was something that he took with intimate care. making sure you could take him in his entirety, checking on you and pressing kisses to your neck. he would keep his eyes on you the entire time. he still has moments when you guys have sex, his eyes finding yours and practically melting at the way you fall apart beneath him.
J — jack off (do they masturbate?)
when your not home; out with friends, working, etc. he does jackoff, he fists himself to the thought of you. imagining his hand is your mouth, your hand, or your pussy. he has no qualms, he doesn’t care. not even if you catch him doing it.
K — kinks (how many kinks do they have? what are they?)
leon definitely has a breeding kink, especially if you guys are married. he thinks that if he fucks you enough times, that it’ll finally take and you’ll have his kid. he doesn’t know where this kink came from, but you definitely don’t mind it, if anything it’s one of the many things you like when you have sex with him.
L — location (favorite places to do it)
leon loves fucking you in the bed. on the couch, anywhere really. he will find a spot and fuck you. even when your out in public, he’ll take you to a bathroom with a lock on it and fuck you, let you suck him off or even eat you out like a five course meal. mans has no chill when it comes to you, public sex or not.
O — oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? are they good?)
speaking of man’s eating, he loves giving you head. absolutely adores you. the sounds you make, the way you fist his hair, your eyes squeezed shut and dripping tears of pleasure, your back arched. he loves making you fall apart.
but he also loves receiving it, letting you get on your knees and suck him off, his hand going into your hair and holding you there as you make him fall apart. the way your eyes look up at him, all doe eyes and innocent, makes him cum in your mouth every single time.
P — pace (are they fast and rough? or slow and sensual?)
leon is fast if he wants to be. if you’ve been a brat all day, teasing him, he’ll take you as soon as your in the door. he’s fast and efficient. but there are mornings when his morning wood digs into your back and he just lazily fucks you from behind, slow and steady but still making you fall apart effortlessly.
Q — quickie (do they like quickies? how often if they do?)
leon loves quickies, especially in the morning after you both wake up. before you both have to wake up, and he has his morning wood. he loves to just lazily slip it in from behind you and pound into you from behind until you both fall apart. (goes hand in hand with pace 100%). but if he’s impatient, he’ll bend you over the kitchen table and just fuck you right there. he doesn’t even care if the window in his apartment is open.
R — risk (are they interested in experimenting? if so how far do they go?)
leon is open to experimenting, anything you wanna try/are open to trying. leon definitely wants to try anal with you, knowing you’d be open to it. any of your holes he can fill, he will. definitely is an ass man/tit man equally and wants to do anything with you.
S — stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
leon can definitely last longer then most, he has undeniable stamina. it’s gotten worn down over the years and it’s hard for him not to just cum the moment he enters you. but he definitely has stamina and can last three or four rounds before tapping out. definitely has something to do with all those years of training.
T — toys (do they own toys? if so, for their pleasure or their partners?)
leon didn’t add toys into his sexual encounters until you, he didn’t have the use or the need. he would just use his fist. but with you, he has a couple vibrators, a butt plug and a remote control vibrator. he loves teasing you with it when your being a brat, making you whine and beg for his cock.
U — unfair (do they like to tease? how much?)
leon loves to tease, especially when your being all whiny and desperate. basically clawing and pawing at his clothes like a wild animal. it’s a little ridiculous how much you want him, he’s so keen on teasing you, kissing your neck, biting down and marking the skin. he loves sucking on your tits, hearing your little sounds. it makes him hard as a rock, he does it until your absolutely begging for his cock.
V — volume (how loud are they? what do they sound like?)
leon is absolutely not above making sounds when he fucks, when he snaps his hips into yours. he can’t help but release a groan or a loud noise of some kind. but he’s not as loud as you, your definitely louder then him and he thanks god that his apartment walls are not so thin.
W — wild card (a thing you wouldn’t expect from them? in bed or otherwise)
when leon fucks you, especially from behind, he loves pushing his thumb into your ass (manz loves anal for some unknown reason), and it makes him audibly groan at the sounds you make while he snaps his hips into you. knowing that you love what he’s doing more then he lets on. he also loves fucking in the kitchen??? (again, for some unknown reason).
X — x-ray (what goes on beneath the clothes? what’s beneath the surface?)
beneath the surface leon was a soft six pack, it’s gotten less defined over the years as he’s slowed down a little in his missions. his facial structure definitely changed but he’s still as handsome as he ever was. he has muscle’s from all the running, heavy lifting and missions he goes on. his dick, very different story, he’s very thick and (i like to personally think that) it’s maybe seven or eight inches long, girthy, and does enough to satisfy you.
Y — yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
leon has a decently normal sex drives. but there are times when he feels like he just has to fuck you until he can’t feel his cock anymore. normally it’s about 5 times a week but when he’s really aching for you it’s about 9 times, it gets up there.
Z — zZzZ (how quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)
if leon’s comfortable and he usually is after he has sex with you, he curls up in your arms, cuddling with you and holding you. he definitely is protective over you considering his job, so he takes these moments in your arms with gratitude. but he drifts off when you do when he knows your safe and content. he considers it an honor to fall asleep in your arms after you guys have sex, a very intimate moment.
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jeffthekillerzblog · 5 months
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a major plot point or like the entire thing about my au is just the creeps moving on and having their own character arcs throughout the years and finally heal from their past trauma
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(rest is me rambling about my au...u don't have to read if u don't wanna its pretty long)
Jeff's arc is big on him finding his brother and coming to terms with what really happened. jeff is so incredibly stubborn and a big (very) egotistical. he finds it hard to open up and after what happened he feels that there's no point opening up anyway bc he's literally a famous asshole serial killer who's messed up SO many people's lives. another big thing about his arc is just owning up to his actions and apologizing to the people he's hurt. for example, nina. he led her on, treated her terribly for no reason, and was overall just an asshole. after they get into an argument he'll eventually apologize bc like he didn't HATE nina, he's was and prob still is in a terrible mindset and copes in such unhealthy ways. IDK OK I'm rambling but my point is he does eventually apologize to nina not because he needs her or like wants to use her again. he apologizes because he genuinely misses her and BOOM they become besties again after jeff properly apologizes and ya. BUT basically jeff's arc is him finally finding liu after all these years and yeah he apologizes to all the people he hurt (or the IMPORTANT ones) like nina, liu, and EVENTUALLY... jane. but that's WAY into the future (besides nina) he's way too full of himself to apologize now.
Nina's arc is her getting over JEFF. her love for Jeff began when she met him. she already admired him, but he turned into a full on crush. he did lead her on, and it hurt her a lot. shed spent tons of nights alone when jeff was supposed to be sleeping next to her, and she just felt so lonely, especially since jeff was so neglectful. She talks to clockwork about it and they help her realize her self worth and comforts her (she's terrible at it). Nina starts hanging out with Nat and toby more often, and it makes her feel SO much better about herself. Eventually she does get fed up of jeffs bs and they get into an argument and nina decides to leave. she kicks him out of her apartment and she doesn't let him come back. (she does....when he apologizes.....) She eventually learns to love herself and realize she doesn't need a stinky man's validation. Theres also a bit of her coming to terms with her own trauma, but I haven't fully fleshed that part out yet.
BEN's arc is probably my favorite. he's lost all his memories of his past life, and now after he accidentally found out he's NOT just a computer AI program, he decides to take it on himself to find out who his family was, how his life was, and how he died. I wont say as much bc I want to keep it a surprise, but in summary it fucks him up LMAO
ok that's it. OBVIOUSLY the rest of the creeps are healing as well BUT I have not fleshed out their stories yet...oops. so its just three for now. Except MUCH more stuff about the trio bc I love them with my all.. if u have any questions feel free to ask :3
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cupidlovesastro · 6 months
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°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:✮ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:✮ °❀⋆.
𝒲𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒮𝒾𝑔𝓃 𝒪𝒷𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒𝓈
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:✮ °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:✮ °❀⋆.
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༄ water mars/moon are scary when they’re angry because they can get really emotional really fast and will destruct💀
༄ air sun with water moon are some of the nicest people ever. air signs are super friendly and talkative, and water signs are empathetic and understanding
༄ having your moon sign in the 4th, 8th, or 12th house can amplify your emotions intensely
༄ you can always tell when someone is a water sun or rising because they have sleepy eyes, round face, and big lips or cheeks
༄ scorpio risings aren’t secretive, but their eyes make it seem like they know something you don’t. they also tend to wear a lot of black, dark red, or dark purple
tw: miscarriage, trauma
༄ chiron in 8th house can show someone has trauma surrounding death and birth. they might’ve gone through a miscarriage or have a lower fertility rate. this could also signify that when you go through changes in life, or the way you learn life lessons can cause you to end up having trauma from it
༄ lilith in 4th house could’ve had a mother or mother figure who was jealous of their looks or youth. this also could show that your family made you an outcast for no particular reason, or you could rebel against your family a lot (doesn’t have to be in the most extreme way)
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༄ chiron aspecting neptune can show that this person used escapism as a way to cope and heal from their trauma. it can also show that this person could’ve became addicted to something that helped them cope. you may also tend to avoid topics surrounding your trauma or completely block it out of your brain
༄ lilith aspecting pluto can mean that when this person rebels, it can get really destructive really fast. they could get extremely reckless and revengeful if you’ve hurt them enough
༄ pisces sun, moon, venus, and mars forgive way too easily. especially if it’s people they already believe are good people and care about because they have a hard time seeing things for what they are due to them not wanting to accept reality
༄ 12th house stelliums can keep a secret for years, literally years
༄ having a lot of water in your chart can mean your emotionally intelligent, empathetic, understanding, fertile, value family & children, imaginative, deep, dreamy, emotional, intuitive, and spiritual
༄ lacking water elements can show lack of emotional intelligence, logical thinking, calculated, you dont feel emotions as deep, your not as family oriented, you seek the truth through books and research rather than spiritually
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cod-fishing · 3 months
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some unrelated trauma-themed cod headcanons because i just can't let these boys go:
-Soap loves to get absolutely blasted every once in a while. Ghost will have 1 drink but doesn’t like being inebriated. His dad was a drunk, and he's afraid of being the same, already feels like he’s turned into his dad too much as it is, being so accustomed to violence. Also, being inebriated and far from his body reminds him of the attempted brainwashing, so he can’t do it. Ghost doesn’t mind Soap being drunk though, cause hes a cutsey silly giggly drunk 99% of the time, and a sad sack crying drunk the other 1%. Either way, he gets to watch out for him.
-Ghost has complicated feelings about his mom. Most people think he must love and cherish her as some angel, since his dad was so bad, but in many ways she was complacent in his and his brothers abuse. Shes not the devil, but shes no angel either. 
-Soap has complicated feelings about his on paper perfect childhood, which only get more complicated when he falls for Ghost. Middle class, big loving family, football and 4.0 and lots of friends. Never got bullied, never saw any kind of bad till he joined up. So how did he get here? Why is he so fucked in the head to be so good at killing, and warfare? He doens't know, and he wrestles with that a lot. In a world of men built by their trauma, Soap is a complicated outlier. 
-Part of the reason Ghost likes the mask is because the feeling of it makes him secure and dampens sound just a little bit. Especially after his torture, he has a hard time with lots of sounds/crowds/conversations happening at once. The mask just turns the volume down just enough, muffles things just right. Even when he starts being more comftable going maskless with Johnny and the team, he still usually wears a beanie to cover his ears.
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Hi! I really like your writing, and I was wondering if I could request a Yandere!Platonic 1st Years (+Grim) with an Eri!Reader?
How would they feel learning of her abused, trauma, and her unfamiliarity with general society and social norms? (Who’s looking murderous when they see just the scars littered around her arms and legs when her bandages are removed?)
Though it’s a whole different story when she says she sees her power as nothing but a ‘curse’, and her existence a ‘burden’ that only makes others suffer? All because of the man named ‘Overhaul’, the one who did this so her? (Who’s about to go feral when she admits she doesn’t remember how to smile?)
But she starts to become more positive thanks to Grim and slowly the others (She likes Grim and is very sparkly eyed because he talks, breaths fire and thinks he’s amazing)
Imagine when she says she made a friend all on her very own who’s ‘like her’, though they lightly chastise her that she shouldn’t talk with strangers (It’s Malleus, they’re both lonely, have horns she has 1, while Malleus has 2, have an incredible power that’s very dangerous, and they’re unfamiliar/slow with society)
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Eri Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland
You’ve been through so much….so you’ve been told. The pain, the heartbreak, the constant voice in your head that has guilt weighing on your little heart. Your transportation to Twisted Wonderland couldn’t come at a better time. They’re going to welcome you cage you to this new world more than willing to spoil you to your hearts content:
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Grim 
“Oi oi servant they all think we’re monsters!”
“...yeah?”
“Yeah! So we gotta show them we’re gonna be the greatest mages in here!”
“Oh….okay!”
He’s the perfect chaotic companion
He teaches you to allow yourself to do what you want
Granted his guidance isn’t all knowing
No matter how tasty Heartslabyul’s tarts are you shouldn’t eat them everytime you visit — especially without permission
Either way you’re learning to forgive yourself and allow you to have fun
And leave it to Grim to say whatever snarky thing you’d like to say when your big-brothers get in the way
“Nyeh! You won’t be able to do anything against my flames, nyah!”
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Ace Trappola
“Hey if I catch you moping about that plague doctor guy, I’ll sock ya in the head!”
“Ace?!”
“I-i-i won’t!”
In a weird way you’re so used to being bullied (by kai) that you tend to take his bully-affection to heart
You know he cares, he just won’t tell you often
He reminds you of a certain blonde…
It also makes you more privy to his very willing desire to steamroll over anyone he deems a problem for you
“I think he meant that as a joke, Ace…”
“Joke schmoke, I warned you, you stain! I’m putting you in the medical wing.”
“Ace, please!” 
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Deuce Spade
“(Y/n), did you eat today? Are you feeling well? Do you need me to carry you!”
Mother hen of the group
He’s hovering close behind even when you don’t see him
Always making sure you’re safe and happy as can be
He’s teeming with anxiety if he’s not watching you himself
Even worse if you get hurt accidentally or on purpose
Now he’s Mama bear totally bearing the claws to protect you
He’s not going to leave you to defend yourself
Especially when your abilities hinge on your mental state
He’s trying his best
“Are you doing the breathing techniques Crewel recommended? Where’s your paper bag?”
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Jack Howl
“Hello little one.”
“Hi.”
“Would you…like to sit on my shoulders?”
“Yes!”
Your #1 guard dog
Doesn’t have to worry considering Deuce is freaking out for him
He’ll be the sane voice of reason because Ace isn’t anywhere close to reliable in his eyes
Naturally he entrances you with his tail and overall dog-like personality
But don’t forget he’s got the bite force of a wolf that he’s not afraid to use if he deems fit
“Pup, don’t stop yourself from having fun or being…young. I–we will keep you safe.”
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Epel Felmier
“You’re so pretty.”
“...Thanks.”
You’re the only one who can get away with calling him that
And he loves nothing more than escaping Vil to find out what other sweet makes you smile sweetly 
He’s also one of the first to join Ace as part of the self-proclaimed protection committee
He’s also one of the first to suggest taking it further than a mere beatdown
Anything for his new little sibling
“If there’s no body…there’ll be no problems.”
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Sebek Zigvolt
“TINY HORNED HUMAN! WHERE IS YOUR DIASOMNIA PIN!” 
“Uhm…Ace took it from me…said it was unfair.”
“THAT FOOL. COME CHILD I SHALL BESTOW UPON YOU THE PIN AGAIN.”
Is definitely apart of a brainwash committee of his own and is insistent you become Diasomnia’s new mascot…under Malleus of course
His loudness sometimes scares you off but he means well
And will no doubt join the others if a few heads need to roll
“Rest easy, child. On my watch, no one will harm you.”
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amerricanartwork · 5 months
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RW Headcanon: How Arti Gives Back
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In the RW community on this site, I’ve heard quite a few Artimand thoughts about how Gourmand would help Artificer heal from her trauma and grief. And while that’s all good, something that’s continuously puzzled me when shipping Artimand romantically is, “but how would Artificer help Gourmand?”
Let me tell you, one of my all-time favorite qualities in a ship is the characters helping each other improve themselves, especially in ways no other character pairing can. And while it’s easy to see Gourmand helping Artificer improve, given the vast amount of grief and lust for vengeance she has to overcome, and since Gourmand probably has a natural inclination to help others in need, what would she give to him in return? And to add to that, why would Gourmand fall in love with her and choose her as a mate, as opposed to just casually looking out for her and straight pitying her at worst, especially when she’d most-likely appear very un-qualified for romance initially?
Well, I’ve developed some thoughts and headcanons for that, and I’ll put them below the cut! Please let me know if anything could be improved, or if you can add to it! I’d love more reasons to think of these two sweethearts!
Option 1: Combat
Arti would help Gourmand improve his combat skills. The way I see it, Gourmand is a very strong warrior, but doesn’t often engage in combat simply because he doesn’t see a need for it outside of defense. Even then, due to his kind nature, he typically only fights back enough to deter predators, not kill them. However, with Arti being a carnivore, and having LOTS of experience with more complex combat situations than just defense (mostly from scav encounters), I like to think that Arti would give Gourm more combat tips and they may even end up bonding on occasional hunting trips together. And it would circle back to Arti because Gourm, with his cooking skills, would make the resulting meals from their hunts taste SO much better than what Arti is used to, allowing her to slow down and really enjoy food in a way she hasn’t been able to with her warrior lifestyle!
Option 2: Motherhood
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Given Arti was a mother once, and Gourmand’s story ends with him getting 2 pups, I could easily see him wanting Arti to stay around to act as a mother for them. Not only would that give her the chance to embrace motherhood again, but it would take some pressure from Gourmand because he has a partner (and an experienced one at that) to help him with parenting! I mean, don’t get me wrong, Gourmand is undoubtedly great with pups, but even so it’s good to have some help! Even more so since (depending on what general age you headcanon the pups as) he’d likely have to leave his pups alone while getting food; it’d be nice to have someone with her own experience caring for pups who can look after them during those times and, to add onto the first option, even help teach them how to hunt and survive on their own!
And heck, I personally actually like to imagine that, a little later, after she gets comfortable enough and fully overcomes her grief, Artificer would actually have a second litter with Gourmand (naratively-speaking, this would signify the completion of her character arc)! Of course it’d be a big deal for Arti, but just imagine how much fun Gourm would have exploring the new experience of getting to raise biological pups this time! And I can just see him being so, so thankful that Arti somehow managed to give him even more family to love!
Option 3: Passion
So this one’s the most personal-headcanon-based, and built off my personal depiction of Gourmand as a character. In my headcanon, Gourmand starts out as a rather reluctant leader of his colony. I have this whole idea of what specific event led to him becoming the leader, but to summarize, it seemed like a very sudden chance event at the time, yet from it he was more-or-less unanimously chosen to lead by the other Outer Expanse slugcats due to him having shown great creativity, survival skills, and protectiveness. Gourmand himself, however, doesn’t really feel he’s fit to be a leader; he’s used to an easygoing life just peacefully surviving and doing his own thing, not managing and defending an entire colony! He’s so used to seeing the simple parts of the world that he often underestimates himself, so something as “grand” as leadership often appears too great for him.
That’s where Arti comes in. I like to imagine that Artificer is extremely passionate, but that for a long time after her pups’ deaths, that passion was manifested almost exclusively as immense rage, grief, and desire for revenge against their killers. But imagine if, once she gets comfortable with Gourmand’s colony, she begins to show that passion in positive emotions! Not only would she, after seeing what he’s capable of in hunts, help him see that he IS the perfect leader for his colony, but just IMAGINE: Arti hyping Gourm up as the biggest, strongest warrior in the Expanse, just before the two prepare to take down a king vulture; or Arti patching him up after a really tough battle and assuring him he’ll be even better next time; or Arti teasing Gourm and them chasing each other around as they spar together in the OE fields; or Arti getting all dramatic as she recites tales of her epic scavenger battles to his eager pups; or Arti showering Gourm with kisses after he makes a REALLY good meal with her favorite meats!  There are SO many possibilities for hypeman Arti, and I figure that, once Gourm sees her fiery spirit used in a positive way, especially to help him and his family, he can’t help but fall for her! And this idea is part of why I like the Spicybun ship name so much - while Gourmand helps Arti mellow out, Arti literally spices up his life! They just compliment each other so perfectly!!
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
MAN do I love these two so much! This is about all I have right now on this subject, but again, I’d LOVE to hear any other ideas for how Artificer would help Gourmand, or additions to these ideas! I just adore the “opposites attract” ship trope (although I personally prefer to call it “inverses attract”), and I think Artimand is easily one of the best examples of that in Rain World! 
Thank you to anyone who made it to the end of this wall of text! And let me know if I should share any more Rain World headcanons, because I’ve definitely got more!
Oh, and if you've found this, @melissa-titanium, hope you like it again! Let me know if you ever want me to stop @-ing you with these Artimand headcanons, by the way!
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scary-lasagna · 7 months
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I LOVED THE VAMPIRE POST SMM. So like would Liu, EJ, BEN and Jeff let their vampire s/o bite them and drink their blood?
Homicidal Liu
Liu is squeamish when it comes to blood due to his past trauma of obvious reasons.
And even with a high pain tolerance, he wouldn't voluntarily allow himself to be bitten.
Many risks come with the first bite; An artery could be sliced, blood infection, too much blood loss, you hate the way his blood tastes so therefore you will hate him forever.
That last one was just Liu's imgaination running wild, but all together it's pretty risky.
He might offer a test bite, not a full chomp, but a little nibble on his arm to see how it feels. A pinprick was all he could describe it as.
But he quickly backed out once he caught wind of the blood trickling down his arm.
He might allow a second attempt, but not anytime soon. 
Sully, however, is a different story. He would let you drink this body dry, and force Liu forward in the middle of it just to be a sadistic asshole. 
Either way, they're both willing to try at least once.
Eyeless Jack
Jack doesn't think that you would enjoy his blood very much.
Much like the liquid that seeps from his eye sockets, his blood has a tar-like consistency. 
It wouldn't go down easy, and if your body rejects it since it's not truly 'blood', it won't come back up easy either.
Ultimately, Jack says no due to your safety. It just too big of a risk for Jack to feel comfortable letting you take a bite out of him.
Jelly donuts are better, anyway. Especially at 3am while everyone else is asleep.
BEN
BEN will act tough and dominant up until it's actually time for you to bite him.
He'll get squirmy and find excuses to delay the inevitable now that he's talked the big talk and agreed to do it.
You'll of course call him out on it, and will nervously sit down and away from his stack of DS games that he wanted to organize alphabetically. 
"Are you sure you want to do this?" You ask him, with a comforting hand on his knee.
"Yeah.." Ben sighs and rubs the back of his neck with a nervous tic. " I'm just afraid it'll hurt or I make a weird noise or something." He chuckles lightly.
"We can start, and if you want to stop we can and I won't judge you for it." You reassure. "Or we can do blood lettings which doesn't involve biting."
"It's that like plague doctor shit, though?"
"Well yeah but it doesn't invol-"
"Just take a bite, babe."
He trusts you with all of his heart. And he lets you take a bite.
And yes, he does make a weird sound.
Jeff
Oh hell yeah, fucking go for it.
No questions asked.
Jeff thinks it's hardcore, and frankly, he's not experienced enough to know the dangers of blood letting or blood biting. He just thinks your hot and that you wanna bite him.
And honestly? Go for it. He's probably got a few diseases lurking in there but you're immortal so it doesn't affect you.
He would urge you to keep going even after he feels light headed, just ot see how long he can stay awake.
Jeff can be an extremely convincing individual, but do not trust him.
He can and will pass out and then you will have to call Eyeless Jack and explain everything to him.
He will not be happy.
Jeff will try to kiss him thinking that he's you.
And then Jeff will get swatted away and start crying out of rejection 
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samkerrworshipper · 4 months
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hard times | awfc x reader
arsenal reader struggles with PTSD and new year’s eve is a particular struggle… but the arsenal girlies are there for her even if she doesn’t know she needs them
warnings: PTSD, anxiety, mentions of violence, mentions of guns, anxiety attacks, mentions of childhood trauma
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You don’t even notice you’re shivering and tearing up under your duvet.
New Year's Eve for most people is a night of celebration, a night of partying, a night of celebrations. For you, not so much.
New year's eve ranks pretty high up on your least favourite days of the year.
Instead of being fun and full of celebrations it was a night of terror and fear.
That’s how you’d gotten under your duvet, the covers of your bed providing a very small shield from the outside world.
It wasn’t a good fix to stop the current downpour of sound around you, you’d tried it all, airpods, earplugs, music, none of it worked.
So you’d settled for clenching your palms down onto your ears, it wasn’t providing any reprieve from the noise cascading around you, but for whatever reason it felt necessary.
This wasn’t even the worst of it, you knew it was only so long until the fireworks started, and as soon as that happened it was almost a guarantee that you would be thrown into a whole different level of stress.
It had been this way since you were a kid, new years eve was a nuisance, a figment of your worst nightmares.
You wished you could go out and celebrate, that you could be normal and be happy.
But ever since your childhood, since it all happened, loud noises and bright flashing lights have always been a big struggle for you.
So, every year, you go through the same routine of hiding under your covers until it’s all over. Normally, the loud noises coming from London strike up a pretty serious anxiety attack, so you don’t bother with hurting your friends with your presence, knowing that all you will be is a burden for them on a night that is supposed to be fun.
It’s fine, you’re used to it, this year though it’s a little bit harder.
With your transfer to Arsenal in the previous January trade period you had quickly found a new family amongst the Gooners.
It was so hard for you to decline the invite to the celebrations for the evening, especially considering that almost every other holiday over the year had been spent with one or a couple of your teammates.
That was the hard part of being the only person left in your family, it was the reason for your stupid fear.
It all simmered down to one stupid night that wrecked your whole life.
Just as you had begun to become completely absorbed with the thoughts in the back of your mind, you were taken out of your trance by a quiet voice and the mattress you were sitting on flexing downwards.
“Hiya honey, you wanna come out for me?”
It’s Beth’s voice, sweet, kind, lovely Beth who definitely should not be in your apartment right now.
It makes you wonder if you are potentially dreaming, sometimes when you get really anxious delirium is a side effect.
“Beth?”
You reach down to pinch your thigh, hard, and it hurts, enough for you to be sure that you aren’t dreaming,
“Yeah hon, I’m right here.”
Her voice is enough for you to pull the covers over your head, the duvet falling into your criss crossed lap.
Beth is perched on the corner of your bed, a smile mixed with concern and care reflecting back towards you.
“What are you doing here?”
Your words are murmured, and spoken downwards towards your lap, because you can’t quite find it in you to look at your older teammate.
“It’s new years, silly, we couldn’t leave you out of the celebrations, the girls that are in town are in the kitchen.”
It’s said so nonchalantly, like this is some organised plan that has been set in stone for weeks, even though this is the first you’re hearing of it.
Suddenly, a firecracker or something goes off somewhere in the distance and your body is jolting on the bed, fresh tears accumulating in the corners of your eyes as your whole face pinches shut whilst the waves of memories wash over your body.
“I thought you guys said you were going to South Bank to do the fireworks and celebrations.”
South Bank isn’t far from your apartment, a couple of blocks south, unfortunately for you, most definitely close enough for the fireworks to be seen and heard.
“Who needs fireworks? We’d rather hang out here with you.”
It makes your jaw clench and your eyebrows furrow, they’ve cancelled their plans to come to your apartment and you aren’t completely sure why.
“Beth, why are you here?”
It’s blunt, but with everything happening and your body in survival mode you don’t have time to beat around the bush, especially with the ticking time bomb which is leading to midnight.
“Less told us that you really struggle with new years, so we’re here for you.”
You know that all of the girls on the team, whether they mention it or not, know about your past, about what happened when you were a child, what led to you moving in with Alessia when you were 14.
Unfortunately for you, she’s spending her break with her parents in New York, so your normal emotional support for nights like these was unable to make it here tonight.
Something doesn’t feel the same about having Beth, and whoever else she’d managed to congregate being here with you, especially when you were significantly vulnerable.
“Beth, I appreciate it, but I don’t want to worry you guys, head down to South Bank, just leave me be. Tonight’s pretty hard for me and I don’t feel like doing much.”
Beth scoots her body up closer to yours, close enough that she can lift her hand up and set it down on your thigh, it doesn’t go unnoticed the way you slightly flinch away from her, the jumpiness running rampant in your body due to the anxiety.
“We’re not going anywhere, we’ve got you, let us take care of you yeah, you don’t have to do anything, at all, just sit on the couch and relax.”
You want to fall directly into Beth, let her give you a big hug and never let go, but there is still a part of you trying to obtain your self dignity.
“Beth, you don’t understand, tonight's really hard for me, and I don’t want you guys to have to deal with it, it’s not exactly something I’m proud of.”
Beth’s hand moves from your thigh, upwards until it’s gently sitting on your jaw, angling your face upwards so you are looking at her.
“Let us be here for you, between myself, Vivi, Leah, Lia, Kim, Laura, Jen, Lotte I’m sure we can all figure out some way to make tonight a little bit easier for you. You don’t have to explain anything, you don’t have to talk about it, we’re just here to show you some love and help you however you need, celebrations be damned.”
It’s hard to refuse when Beth’s kind, concerned and caring eyes are reaching deep into your soul. Tonight is hard, for you it’s like walking up mount everest, and it’s not exactly like you want to break down in front of your teammates but Beth seems pretty persistent about the fact she isn’t leaving.
“After the break in, after my parents and brother were killed, any loud noises resembling guns make me have anxiety attacks, it’s why I don’t like new years.”
Beth just nods and smiles, accepting the information but deciding to let you do the explaining instead of asking questions.
“That’s understandable, anyone in your position would feel the same, I’m sure it must be pretty tough, especially considering that you are still young.”
You bit down on your tongue, nodding to Beth, it is really fucking hard, especially considering that you don’t have anyone to talk about it with, because how could anybody understand.
“It’s why I freaked out a few months ago when you guys were popping balloons after Leah’s birthday party, I can’t help it, it just sometimes comes over me and I can’t control it.”
Beth nods immediately, feeling the guilt roll into her stomach at the memory of her and Katie popping all of the balloons, Beth now recollecting how you left with Alessia almost as soon as it happened.
“Y’know after my mom died it took months for me to be able to go anywhere near a hospital, Viv had to drag me to the doctors for my yearly check up. It’s funny what grief does to us. You want to know what works best for me?”
Beth is trying to find common ground, praying that it’ll work and exceptionally glad when you give her a little nod with your chin.
“I try to distract myself, whether it’s getting Vivi to talk to me or playing a game or watching the telly, helps take my mind off things, how about we try that and see if it’ll work with you, yeah?”
The idea makes you feel a little bit funny, but you are brutally aware of the fact that Beth is trying really hard right now to help you and you really want to be good for her and show her that you can do that.
“Okay, but I need it to be quiet, please.”
Beth just smiles and nods, her layed back demeanour shining through as she stood up from the bed, extending her hand to you.
Your hand is shaking furiously, but you manage to extend it out towards her, letting her own hand steady your as she pulls you up off the bed and gently tugs you towards the door of your bedroom.
To your surprise, when you exit the room the kitchen and loungeroom of your apartment are fairly quiet.
Lia, Kim and Viv are busy in your kitchen, pouring and distributing drinks and plates of pizza. Leah, Laura and Lotte are seated on your couch, a board game of sorts set out on the table, Jen is also joined in on the game, except she’s sitting on the floor directly in front of the table.
Viv, Kim and Lia all send a big smile your way as you slowly enter the room, it’s a spectacle to you, watching the group happily enjoying themselves in your apartment on a night where they could be doing far more than just lazing around.
“Do you want to go sit down on the couch, I know for a fact Leah will be cheating, you could go keep an eye on her, or stay up here in the kitchen with us, it’s up to you.”
The couch sounded nice, and you were aware of the fact that your body was quite tired and worn down from all the stress of the night.
So you cautiously stepped over to the couch, as soon as Leah saw you walking towards her she opened her arms up big and wide for you.
You didn’t second guess it, practically throwing yourself into Leah comfy and warm embrace, her body acting as a cushion to you.
The joint pressure and warmth from the hug did wonders at lifting some of the pressure off of your chest.
“How ya feeling?”
Leah’s voice is soft, whispered directly in your ear so that nobody else hears it besides you.
“I’ve been better, but having you guys here is nice, you don’t know how much I appreciate it.”
Leah just smiled, taking a break from the monopoly game they were playing to look at you.
“It’s nothing, we’re here for you whenever you need us, just trying to make the night easier for you however we can.”
You nod gently, Leah’s arm wrapping around your torso to give you a big hug and essentially bond you to her side.
“The fireworks are the worst for me.”
Leah nods, her eyes are so understanding, there isn’t any form of humour or disgust in them, just pure interest.
“Just watch the game yeah, don’t think about the fireworks, I know it’s hard, but just try. We could put on a show for you, how about the new episode of Love Island?”
It’s a offer that you can’t decline, so Leah gets Jen to chuck her the remote, turning on the tv and flicking it directly onto your favourite show.
You relax into Leah, your body falling limp against her and using her as a pillow whilst you intently watch the tv.
It’s all going fine, or as fine as it can be until you can distantly hear a countdown coming from somewhere outside your apartment.
Almost immediately it sets off alarms inside your body, your legs and torso jolting up from the couch.
Just as you are about to rush off, most likely back under your covers or into your bathroom, Leah’s arms grab a tight hold of you, bringing you flush against her body. In a matter of seconds, Viv, Beth and Kim are all surrounding you, somehow sheltering you from the noise outside.
You feel like a feral dog, thrashing against Leah, trying to get away from her, from your teammates, from the world.
As soon as the noises hit your ears though, you stop moving, both of your palms crushing down against your ears to try and drown out the cracking and popping sounds booming from outside your window.
Leah holds you tight to her chest, even as you begin to sob and the panic begins to overtake your body, every time it happens you feel like you are going to die, like this time it’ll be the last and inevitably you know that your wrong, that unfortunately you will live to see out the next year, but it doesn’t make the whole process easy.
Suddenly your brain is crowded with thoughts, memories, sounds.
The sound of your front door being broken down, nobody hearing but yourself, giving you the opportunity to push yourself out of bed and into one of the cupboards in your wardrobe.
Then the sound of heavy feet, doors creaking, and heavy, thunderous, cacophonous gun shots.
No matter how many times you relive it, no matter how many years go by that sound will never disappear from your mind, it’s unforgettable and haunts every single one of your nightmares.
It’s all consuming, until somebody is taking a hold of your face, and staring at you directly in your eyes.
“Y/n, listen to me, you’re safe, we’re all here for you, we’re in your apartment, safe inside, nobody is here to hurt you or anybody else, you’re at home and it’s safe here.”
Kim’s captain's voice is both soothing and terrifying, the Scottish players' words are strong and coated in directness.
Once she notices that you are hearing her she continues.
“We’re here for you, we’re safe, breathe for me honey, deep breaths, you’re here, not out there, don’t worry about any of that, just look at me and breathe.”
You nod at Kim, even as the tears are streaming down your face and you are struggling to breathe, you listen to her.
“Good job, keep breathing, remember where you are, we’re all safe in here with you, nothing or nobody is going to hurt you, I swear.”
Kim’s words do wonders to help you, and with her assistance, as well as Leah’s strong hold, Laura’s hands gently massaging your scalp, Viv’s strong fingers drawing patterns all over your arms, Lotte gently rubbing the tensed up parts of your calves, Beth holding the parts of you Leah can’t and Lia and Jen both flanking kim, looking at you with the same care and concern as she is looking at you with.
It’s a team effort, but you feel completely enveloped by your teammates love and care as you come down from the panic.
“Doing so well for us y/n, it’s all over now, you;re safe, we’ve got you, we’re not going anywhere.”
You look out to the window, temporarily removing your eyes from Kim’s and realising that your captain is in fact correct, all the noises, lights and pain has stopped, the world is quiet and you couldn’t be more grateful for it.
Slowly, as you become more aware of the world and your surroundings, one by one each girl gently removes themselves from you, until you’re left with just Leah, Beth and Viv, the three stragglers who are tasked with getting some food and water into you before sending you off the bed.
It’s a easy enough job, you’re spent and pliant, so Viv force feeds to a slice of pizza whilst Beth forces you to choke down some kind of electrolyte drink.
Once the two are done doting, they both leave you with a kiss on the forehead and gentle words whispered into your ear about how proud they are of you.
Leah is the one tasked with getting you into bed, and she does just that, getting you tucked properly on the covers before giving you a goodnight forehead kiss.
It feels weird watching her walk towards the door, like your being deserted, and you’ve been needy enough as it is tonight but you can’t help but reach out to Leah.
“Stay till I fall asleep, if it’s no trouble?”
Leah just nods and smiles like you’re asking her for a piece of gum, the blonde moving onto the empty side of your bed and leaving her hand flat against your back.
“You’re no trouble at all honey, we’ve got you, any time but especially on these nights.”
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There's an anger in me (I think I learned it from you)
hope here needs a humble hand - series masterlist here
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pairing: platonic bruce wayne x reader, platonic dick grayson x reader
length: 1.9k
genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending
warnings: reader and dick get into a fight and dick is so mean. reader definitely has trauma and issues but Good Dad Bruce Wayne is here so it's fine and also Big Brother Dick in the end
a/n: I'm not a dick grayson hater but I do think he'd be the biggest bitch and say the meanest shit in a fight. anyway life is kicking my ass so bad rn so idk if this is even any GOOD but you can have it <3
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Alfred sighs to himself, a disapproving sort of frown finding its way onto his face as he listens to your raised voice, you and Dick butting heads again. It's not uncommon for you to find reason to argue with the others, but it is tiresome - frustrating to him that you can't seem to lay down this constant fight of yours that you live with.
And Dick? Well, as he spits an insult back and you and you shove at his chest, Alfred idly thinks that maybe he's your worst target so far. Dick Grayson may be kind under typical circumstances, but anger like this brings out the worst in him.
"At least Bruce wanted me," he snaps at you. "You just shoved your way in."
That doesn't just stop you, it stops everyone in their tracks. It especially stops Bruce, who had come into the Cave when he'd gotten word from Alfred about another fight. And there's just… silence at first. You, staring up at Dick with wide, hurt eyes while his anger slowly melts, regret replacing it.
"Hey, I didn't mean -" but you don't stay to listen, fleeing past Bruce and out of the Cave, despite his calls of your name. You don't stick around to hear the way Bruce rips into Dick about it, berating him for even suggesting such a thing, before he follows you up to the Manor. 
Alone in your room, with the walls closing in on you and your lungs squeezing painfully, your breath catches as you hear footsteps approaching. Bruce's knocks on your door are as gentle as the way he calls your name, asking you to please open the door.
You don't.
How can you? He's right, he's right, he's right - Bruce didn't want you. How much trouble have you caused since you got here? - too much, your brain supplies. And Dick is right, Bruce didn't want you… he couldn't have. You, with your headstrong determination, pushing your way into anything and everything that you'd ever wanted. You, with your heels always dug in and your arms always crossed and your shoulders always squared. How could he possibly want that?
You pace behind your locked door, pulling on your hair as your breath quickens, words you've heard a million times running through your head.
Spoiled, selfish, stubborn -
Bruce's voice on the other side of the door isn't enough to drown it out, his promises of, "I love you, we all love you. Dick didn't mean that, and he'll apologize to you when you're ready. Please come out, sweetheart… I love you, and you have always been wanted by me. You've always been wanted by this family."
You stare at the door as if glaring hard enough would make it soundproof, your breath still coming out in short little gasps as you clench your fists, nails digging into the skin of your palms. You watch through blurred vision as Bruce's shadow shifts and darkens under the door - you watch as he settles on the other side of the wood, determined not to leave you to do this alone.
"You come out whenever you're ready, sweetheart," he says gently. "I'll be here."
You scoff, turning abruptly away from the door - away from him. He won't stay - he won't, he won't, he won't -
"I won't leave you." Bruce's voice is heard again and you squeeze your eyes shut. It's like he knows, and you can't figure out how, can't fathom the idea that he really has been paying attention all this time, that he knows you and your ticks and your traumas. You curl up on top of your bed, determined to just shut down until it's all over - until he gives up and leaves you be. Maybe then you can leave, too - leave for real. Maybe it would all be better if you slipped out quietly, off into the city, into someone else life and away from this one. Maybe there really wasn't room for you in this family.
When you wake later, the first thing you're forced to notice is the throbbing behind your eyes and the light that streams in through the window, the sun beginning to set and bathing you in a halo-like glow. Sitting up, you notice a shadow still stationed on the other side of your door, having stayed, unmoving, for as long as you'd been hiding. 
Getting up slowly, you make your way to it, sitting down with your back against the door and letting your head thump rather loudly against the wood of it. It's only then that Bruce moves, shifting on the other side. You clench your fists on your lap as words get caught on their way out. I'm sorry, I love you, thank you for staying.
"Why are you still there?" Is all that ends up coming out, the words harsh as they cut through the air. You flinch at hearing them, your own voice hatefully foreign to you.
"Because I love you," Bruce says simply, like it's such an easy thing. "And I promised I wouldn't leave you." You sit still after that, turning what he's said over in your mind again and again and again before standing abruptly and wrenching your door open, relying on Bruce's reflexes to get himself up and standing by the time you do.
Fortunately, he's always been a little faster than you, always a little better. By the time you're looking at him, he's standing in your doorway, his shoulders slumped as he slouches down to look you in the eye. He's making himself smaller, you realize, something that feels like regret eating away at you. He's making himself small and it's your fault. 
But Bruce isn't looking at you like he blames you, and the way he ever so gently puts his hands on your shoulders and presses a kiss to the crown of your head speaks only of love. Only of forgiveness. You stand straighter when he does, a silent urge for him to do this same - for him to be tall for you. Maybe then, you wouldn't have to be.
"It's true, though, isn't it? You ask, something pained in your voice that you can't quite hide. 
"It's not." There's a way he says it, like it's written in some holy text somewhere and he's promising it now because faith demands it. "You are always wanted here. And you always will be."
"What if I never believe that?"
"Then we'll keep telling you." You shoot Bruce a look at his assuredness, one that just makes him smile down at you.
"Even Dick?" You ask, uneasiness finding its home in you despite your clenched fists and set jaw.
"Especially Dick, he answers easily. "I'm sure he'll spend a very long time trying to make up for this. He never means it, you know - there's this anger in him that he can't quite shake sometimes." Your shoulders slump at his words and you drop your chin, eyes trained on the floor.
"Yea," your voice is bitter. "That, I understand."
You find, later that night, that you wish Dick didn't care quite so much. Your mask covers your face, the hard set of your jaw and the annoyance that pulls down your brows, but in the faint moonlight of the docks, you're sure Dick can see the taught pull of your shoulders.
Thank god it's a slow night, you find yourself thinking as you perch on the edge of a rooftop, kicking your legs over the edge. You know he's around, watching and waiting and trying to find a moment to approach you. You think you'll have to find the moment for him when Nightwing finally sits next to you, his movements silent and slow. He looks at you long and hard, his own eyes hidden behind his mask as you stare out at the water, waiting for him to decide how this will all go.
"I don't always say the right thing," is what he ends up confessing. "And it wasn't fair for you to be on the receiving end of that. I'm… sorry."
"I started it," you say simply. "You shouldn't apologize for biting back."
"No," Dick says carefully, tapping his finger on his thigh. "But I should apologize for how I did it." You look at him, then, eyes searching his face and cursing the masks you both wear, layers of protection against anyone who would try to know you.
"Did you mean it?" You finally ask. "Is it true? Because if it is… if it is, then you should only apologize for lying to me up till now."
"It's not," Dick answers, and there's something in the clear ring of his voice that reminds you of Bruce. Your lips twitch into a smile as you think of how unhappy he'd be to find that out. "Things with Bruce and I… well, I'm sure you know they weren't always good." 
"I don't actually know everything," you huff back. "Even my eavesdropping has limitations - especially with all of you. You're a lot harder to hide from than everyone else." Dick grins at that, a self-satisfied sort of thing that makes you regret speaking.
"Well, it's lucky, I guess," he goes on. "The Bruce you know now - he's a lot better than he was in the beginning."
"Don't you think we all are?" You ask before you can stop yourself, eyes snapping back out to the water as you desperately try to close yourself off from him, heart hammering at the response you're sure to get. There is no part of you that's getting better. There is no part of you that can be good. But Dick just readjusts how he's sitting, sliding closer so that your shoulders bump and he can tap your hands with his own, a silent chide for the way you twist your fingers nervously.
"You're right," he says plainly, and suddenly you're glad for the masks. You're not sure what would happen if you looked over and saw that big brother, sick-with-pride look he's so fond of. "When Jason came along, it felt a bit too much like being replaced. I know it was a long time ago, but… maybe I still feel it a bit more than I should - whenever anyone new comes along. It's not your fault… it's not your fault and I'm glad you're here."
You sigh at his words, tipping back until you're laying on the rooftop, your legs still kicking over the edge as you pretend to look up at the stars, blinking tears away rapidly behind your mask. You're sure he knows, but you're also sure he's too kind to say anything, laying back with you and interlocking his hands behind his head to lean on.
There's a lot you think you should say right now. I'm sorry, I love you, thank you for coming back for me. Thank you for not leaving me behind. Thank you for not giving up on me. 
"What are you hanging around here tonight for, anyway?" Is what comes out instead, but you find you aren't so bothered by it this time.
"Want me to stick around? Finish your patrol with you?" Is his only answer. You huff.
"I don't need help taking care of the docks. I've been doing that longer than I've been involved with you idiots." Dick laughs, loud enough that you groan and roll away from him, standing up and crossing your arms. 
"Well, you never know, then," he responds easily as he swings himself to his feet. "Maybe we could learn something from each other."
"Fine," you snipe back, but you can't help the way you bounce on the balls of your feet, a weight you hadn't realized you'd been carrying starting to lift. "Maybe we can."
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cursedzucchini · 1 year
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Prompt/idea #6
Y'all what if when Danny's not feeling that good (is very injured/didn't eat anything/sleep deprived) he instead of fainting just... Turns into his 14 yo self.
That wasn't such a problem at the begginjng bc he was short king and well, he didn't change that much.
But now? When he's in college (basically always on the verge of fainting from exhaustion/hunger/dehydration/whatever unholy thing he consumed to stay awake and functioning) in Gotham? When he's 24, and yeah, maybe he didn't grow that much in height, but he lost the baby fat. His face didn't look so hopeful, and innocent and he gained quite few scars.
So yeah, changing into his 14yo self wasn't the greatest by itself. But add the trauma Danny has when looking at himself in the mirror, and overall being in the wrong body (thinking about what younger him didn't know, like u can add angst Abt canon stuff, like Vlad was a fucking creep, pariah dark, or add vivisection and Dani dying or whatever).
So Danny was being extra careful about taking care of himself (he thought, like a liar). And maybe that day he forgot breakfast, lost his pocket money, his card declined, he couldn't sleep because of reccuring nightmares and the only edible (that's questionable tho) thing in his bag was some somehow wrong ectoplasm he stole from some guy few weeks ago (and Danny needed to ask the him where tf did he manage to find such a disgusting ecto. Like not even his parents manage to fuck it up that badly).
So when on his way home, some fucking asshole jumped him, of course he was going to freak the fuck out.
...if knocking the guy out counts as freaking out. And showing some of his more ghostly features out (read show the asshole the indescribable horrors of balancing life and death for eternity and no time at all).
And that somehow tipped Danny over the top. So now he's sitting there, in his now way too big clothes next to the knocked out (hopefully) clown, drawing dumb pictures on his face, waiting for Jazz to pick him up and maybe help him dispose of the body.
(bonus points if the batfam saw this go down and are now so fucking confused how tf did some twink™ knocked out the fucking joker in one punch, and than transformed into a fuckibg child????? B, no, put the adoption papers down-!)
(bonus bonus points if 14 yo Danny looks exactly like 14yo Jason, and they (especially Jason) just see young Jason sitting next to dead? Joker w a crowbar, drawing dicks on his face)
(also the reason why Danny doesn't know who joker is, is bc every time someone started talking Abt joker or the clown he assumed he was something like batman, and wasn't interested in learning anything Abt anything clown themed)
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