Tumgik
#like that's. not a normal reaction to have and it's completely unjustified so i can't just. say that.
entropyunending · 10 months
Text
babygirl there is absolutely nothing normal about my emotions. i can blow up at the littlest of things and feel like everyone hates me at the tiniest hint of rejection like you wouldn't BELIEVE
#🔪#god i just want to have normal reactions to things#especially when i have to fucking internalize every explosive reaction i have#i have to just disappear or pretend everything is fine or literally just stop saying a single word#because otherwise i will blow up on people and i will fuck everything up#and i will ruin relationships because of my own emotions that i can't control and have a mind of their own#i know internalizing them isn't what i should do but what other option do i have?#i can't talk about them. i can't let them show.#because they are overreactions#and it's not anyone's fault#i can't tell them how awful they make me feel because they are literally not at fault at all#they're not doing a single thing wrong but my brain is overreacting and perceiving that they are#even though i KNOW they aren't#so why the fuck would i tell them that their perfectly normal actions are making me feel like everyone hates me#that's not a normal or okay reaction to have#especially when all that happened was they just gave the same one word response multiple times in a row when i was talking about something#and i perceived that to mean that they didn't care at all about what i was saying#and that i'm annoying and should just shut the fuck up and never talk about anything i'm excited about or like ever again#because no one wants to actually hear it and all i will do is annoy everyone#like that's. not a normal reaction to have and it's completely unjustified so i can't just. say that.
0 notes
cindyssouthkoreanlitblog · 7 months
Text
10 interesting South Korean novels
The Vegetarian - Han Kang 
“Before the nightmare, Yeong-hye and her husband lived an ordinary life. But when splintering, blood-soaked images start haunting her thoughts, Yeong-hye decides to purge her mind and renounce eating meat. In a country where societal mores are strictly obeyed, Yeong-hye's decision to embrace a more “plant-like” existence is a shocking act of subversion. And as her passive rebellion manifests in ever more extreme and frightening forms, scandal, abuse, and estrangement begin to send Yeong-hye spiraling deep into the spaces of her fantasy. In a complete metamorphosis of both mind and body, her now dangerous endeavor will take Yeong-hye—impossibly, ecstatically, tragically—far from her once-known self altogether.” (good reads)
Love in the big city- Sang young park 
“Love in the Big City is the English-language debut of Sang Young Park, one of Korea’s most exciting young writers. A runaway bestseller, the novel hit the top five lists of all the major bookstores and went into nine printings. Both award-winning for its unique literary voice and perspective, and particularly resonant with young readers, it has been a phenomenon in Korea and is poised to capture a worldwide readership.” (good reads)
I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki - baek se-hee 
“Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her - what to call it? - depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends, performing the calmness her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a yen for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions, and harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness. It will appeal to anyone who has ever felt alone or unjustified in their everyday despair.” (good reads)
The Investigation - Jung Myung lee 
“Fukuoka Prison, 1944. Beyond the prison walls, the war rages. Inside, a man is found brutally murdered. What follows is a searing portrait of Korea before their civil war, and a testimony to the redemptive power of poetry. Watanabe Yuichi, a young guard with a passion for reading, is ordered to investigate a murder. The victim, Sugiyama, also a guard, was feared and despised throughout the prison and inquiries have barely begun when a powerful inmate confesses. But Watanabe is unconvinced; and as he interrogates both the suspect and Yun Dong-ju, a talented Korean poet, he starts to realize that the fearsome guard was not all he appeared to be…” (good reads)
The Hole - Hye young pyun 
“In this tense, gripping novel by a rising star of Korean literature, Ogi has woken from a coma after causing a devastating car accident that took his wife’s life and left him paralyzed and badly disfigured. His caretaker is his mother-in-law, a widow grieving the loss of her only child. Ogi is neglected and left alone in his bed. His world shrinks to the room he lies in and his memories of his troubled relationship with his wife, a sensitive, intelligent woman who found all of her life goals thwarted except for one: cultivating the garden in front of their house. But soon Ogi notices his mother-in-law in the abandoned garden, uprooting what his wife had worked so hard to plant and obsessively digging larger and larger holes. When asked, she answers only that she is finishing what her daughter started.” (good reads)
Human Acts - Han kang 
“In the midst of a violent student uprising in South Korea, a young boy named Dong-ho is shockingly killed. The story of this tragic episode unfolds in a sequence of interconnected chapters as the victims and the bereaved encounter suppression, denial, and the echoing agony of the massacre. From Dong-ho's best friend who meets his own fateful end; to an editor struggling against censorship; to a prisoner and a factory worker, each suffering from traumatic memories; and to Dong-ho's own grief-stricken mother; and through their collective heartbreak and acts of hope is the tale of a brutalized people in search of a voice.” (good reads)
The Good Son - you-jeong jeong 
“Early one morning, twenty-six-year-old Yu-jin wakes up to a strange metallic smell, and a phone call from his brother asking if everything's all right at home - he missed a call from their mother in the middle of the night. Yu-jin soon discovers her murdered body, lying in a pool of blood at the bottom of the stairs of their stylish Seoul duplex. He can't remember much about the night before; having suffered from seizures for most of his life, Yu-jin often has trouble with his memory. All he has is a faint impression of his mother calling his name. But was she calling for help? Or begging for her life?” (good reads)
The Plotters - kim un-su
“Behind every assassination, there is an anonymous mastermind--a plotter--working in the shadows. Plotters quietly dictate the moves of the city's most dangerous criminals, but their existence is little more than legend. Just who are the plotters? And more important, what do they want?
Reseng is an assassin. Raised by a cantankerous killer named Old Raccoon in the crime headquarters "The Library," Reseng never questioned anything: where to go, who to kill, or why his home was filled with books that no one ever read. But one day, Reseng steps out of line on a job, toppling a set of carefully calibrated plans. And when he uncovers an extraordinary scheme set into motion by an eccentric trio of young women--a convenience store clerk, her wheelchair-bound sister, and a cross-eyed librarian--Reseng will have to decide if he will remain a pawn or finally take control of the plot.
Crackling with action and filled with unforgettable characters, The Plotters is a deeply entertaining thriller that soars with the soul, wit, and lyricism of real literary craft.” (good reads)
Lemon - Kwon yeo sun
“In the summer of 2002, when Korea is abuzz over hosting the FIFA World Cup, nineteen-year-old Kim Hae-on is killed in what becomes known as the High School Beauty Murder. Two suspects quickly emerge: rich kid Shin Jeongjun, whose car Hae-on was last seen in, and delivery boy Han Manu, who witnesses Hae-on in the passenger seat of Jeongjun's car just a few hours before her death. But when Jeongjun's alibi turns out to be solid, and no evidence can be pinned on Manu, the case goes cold. Seventeen years pass without any resolution for those who knew and loved Hae-on, and the grief and uncertainty take a cruel toll on her younger sister, Da-on, in particular. Unable to move on with her life, Da-on tries in her own twisted way to recover some of what she's lost, ultimately setting out to find the truth of what happened.” (good reads)
The Old Woman with the Knife - Gu Byeong-mo 
“At sixty-five, Hornclaw is beginning to slow down. She lives modestly in a small apartment, with only her aging dog, a rescue named Deadweight, to keep her company. There are expectations for people her age--that she'll retire and live out the rest of her days quietly. But Hornclaw is not like other people. She is an assassin. Double-crossers, corporate enemies, cheating spouses--for the past four decades, Hornclaw has killed them all with ruthless efficiency, and the less she's known about her targets, the better. But now, nearing the end of her career, she has just slipped up. An injury leads her to an unexpected connection with a doctor and his family. But emotions, for an assassin, are a dangerous proposition. As Hornclaw's world closes in, this final chapter in her career may also mark her own bloody end.” (good reads)
2 notes · View notes
caitlynmellark · 5 years
Text
DBH December Day 13: North
Tumblr media
If you follow me, you know full well that I adore North. She is my favorite character. I adore her character, and I love her flaws. Of course there are things I don't like about her, as everyone in the world does even with their favorite characters, but I still love her.
Tumblr media
Normally for DBH December and posts like this, I explain all the reasons I hate or love a character. What is wrong with them, and can be improved on... or what is right and makes the character strong. After recent events, I feel like I shouldn't use North's DBH Day to do that. I've said a million times why I love her, and a million times why she is flawed both as a character and as a romantic interest for Markus (Norkus is still my favorite ship).
Tumblr media
Today, I am taking North day to spread a message of positivity. A message of positivity that a lot of people in this fandom want to break down and troll because they hate a character for non justifiable reasons. I'll still slap on gifs, as you can see. And even a couple of pictures that I took by accident at one point!
Tumblr media
I admit I am not the most positive person. I am much like North in terms that I believe sometimes pacifism/positivity doesn't work. However, also like her, I am willing to try. I keep most controversial issues off of my Tumblr because I understand having anxiety over such topics... However, the fandom has been having issues for a long while now. Those issues were a bit dormant aside from some minor ship wars and some little less than minor hate posts. Posts of racism, sexism, and even violence towards fictional characters. Now more than ever though, it is an issue. I will speak specifically of North (since it is her day).
Tumblr media
I have seen hate posts of people hating North because of her violence (which is valid, but her violence also has some justifications). People hating North because of her rushed relationship with Markus (which isn't her character, that is how the writers wrote the rushed story). People hating North because she is in the way of Simon being a love interest (which is still not her character, that is more writer nonsense). And people even going as far as saying completely wrong things about North for the sake of stirring up a reaction.
Tumblr media
I am here to admit that people can hate North. I cannot stop anyone from doing so, even if their reasons are unjustified. I can't stop anyone from hating her solely because they wanted Simon as a love interest. I do as well. However, I can spread the message that this isn't how it has to be. You can want Simon as a love interest, and still like North. Or if you just can't stand her, please respect the people who do love her.
Tumblr media
There is no cost at being nice to other human beings. Of course, I find myself angry a lot and disrespecting people (mainly that one North post about... the r*pe). I believe those reasons are more justifiable than hating someone because they like a character. The person who made that post not only was using it as a tool to troll people who like North, but to fight against a squad that only sends out positive messages. We have never said anything bad. We have never bashed ships. And yet we were attacked for liking a character, making content for her, and for all feeling positive for a shared connection. (enjoy the random Connor)
Tumblr media
It is time to be better than that though. It is time to respect people because it isn't that hard. You can not ship something, yet respect the people who do. You can hate a character, yet respect the people who like them. We are not children anymore. We also cannot stand for these blatant people looking for their five seconds of fame when we could blast them out of existence with positivity. (this screenshot was literally a huge accident but it is aesthetic)
Tumblr media
That is what the North Protection Squad did when that person attacked. We spammed positivity. We just spammed the positivity over and over again until it seemed to fade away.
Tumblr media
So I ask now that this message spreads. I want this to touch every person who cares even a little bit about any character/ship in DBH. If you refuse to let the message spread, please at least act it out in respecting others. I understand not wanting to reblog something.
Happy North day!
Tomorrow's Prompt: Simon!
49 notes · View notes
oumakokichi · 7 years
Note
I've seen your ranking, and I wonder why you like Juzo so much ? I can't help but think his redemption doesn't outweight his previous actions. He helped stopping the killing game but that was him fixing something he did and saving someone he cared about, which isn't selflessness. He assaulted people for reasons that were petty or unjustified, so it felt really forced when he saved Naegi. Also, he let Junko end the world because he didn't want Munakata to know he was gay ? Please enlighten me.
Personally, I like Juzo becausehe’s not supposed to be a selfless or a sweet or softhearted character. If Juzohad stopped the killing game for any of those kinds of reasons, or if dr3 hadsuddenly tried to play Juzo off as a character who was entirely selfless foreveryone’s sake, I’d have been incredibly disappointed. But as it is, Juzo’scharacter development was one of the few things dr3 managed to do right.
Juzo scores #3 on my personalcharacter ranking because he’s an incredibly well-written and flawed characterwho is given his own autonomy and has a compelling arc of development. He’s alsopretty much the embodiment of the Undying Loyalty trope, something I like in mycharacters—and even better is that dr3 managed to emphasize that that’s hisstrength and his weakness at the same time.
In a lot of ways, Juzo remindsme of a better-done Maki. Like Maki, Juzo is a bit of a throwback to some other“killing machine” characters, like Mukuro and Peko. While SHSL Boxer is a farcry away from SHSL Soldier, Swordswoman, or Assassin, it’s still a fact thatJuzo is thought of first and foremost as hired muscle, by Munakata, Tengan,Kizakura, and pretty much everyone else in the Future Foundation. He’s meant toact as an enforcer, act first and ask questions later—and he’s perfectly finewith that.
Juzo is no strategist or ideasman by any means, but he’s aware of that. His forte is punching problems untilthey go away, so that’s what he does, the same way that Maki’s first instinctis to eliminate a target so they’re out of her life completely.
But Maki’s characterdevelopment is ultimately hampered by having to center around Momota’scharacter, and all the frustratingly misogynistic “life lessons” he gives herabout how “women should take care of children, not use weapons,” “women shouldlook cute, not work as a hired assassin” etc. Juzo, on the other hand, doesn’thave that problem, because the sad fact of the matter is that male characterswho are cold and aloof and think of themselves as weapons will receive bettertreatment from the writers than female characters with the same flaws.
Just as Maki prioritizes Momotaover everything and everyone else in the group, Juzo does exactly the samething with Munakata. But again, unlike Maki, whose coldness and recklessnessalmost never gets called out by the narrative (not even when she tried to killeveryone else in Chapter 5, for which she received a slap on the wrist atmost), dr3 pretty much spends all its time calling Juzo out. And that’s exactlywhat I like. There’s hardly a character in Future Arc who didn’t allude to Juzo’sfeelings for Munakata or lampshade the fact that Juzo would throw everyone elseunder the bus in two seconds if Munakata asked him to. Characters like Kizakurawere smart enough to realize that Juzo will get angrier on behalf of Munakatathan he will on behalf of himself, even. And this is a good way to highlightthe fact that loyalty isn’t always a good character trait necessarily.
Juzo absolutely didn’tsacrifice himself for everyone else’s sake—he only did it for Munakata’s. IfMunakata hadn’t been involved in the killing game, I have no doubt that Juzowouldn’t have given two shits about pretty much anyone else involved, exceptmaybe Chisa or Seiko, who were in their same faction. But he wouldn’t have goneto the lengths he did to stop the game just for their sake. What really madehis sacrifice powerful and memorable is the fact that he was willing to stopthe game, willing to cut off an arm, all for the person he cared most about inthe entire world.
Juzo’s loyalty is tragicbecause it’s his primary character trait, both his strongest advantage and hisgreatest weakness. It’s tragic because he was loyal to someone who ultimatelynever felt the same way about him, who doubted him and suspected him and neveronce really had those same feelings towards him. His sacrifice to end thekilling game isn’t supposed to be taken as some selfless gesture for the group—it’sa gesture meant for Munakata only, and Munakata still arrives too late, unableto really understand or appreciate the lengths Juzo went for him.
I would hesitate to say Juzowas seeking redemption with his actions. Atonement, perhaps, but redemptionimplies receiving recognition and forgiveness from everyone he ever wronged.And there’s none of that with Juzo. Juzo’s hot temper, his excessive violence,and his pettiness are never excused by the narrative or played off as somecutesy character trait. If anything, the reason he saved Naegi is because he’sstill as angry and petty as ever.
He didn’t save Naegi for anygrand, overarching ideal. He didn’t do it because he wound up agreeing withNaegi’s idea of “hope,” or anything like that. No, in the end, Juzo saved Naegionly because he was angry at him—for having defeated Junko where Juzo keptquiet about her, for reminding him constantly of the ways in which he fuckedup, of his own role in the way the world is now.
By dr3, Naegi was essentiallyrevealed as some grand savior who stopped the Big Bad Enoshima Junko and herdespair with his platitudes about hope. For him to just give up and die supereasily from the same despair-brainwashing video that killed everyone else wasthe biggest anticlimax—it was anticlimactic and pathetic enough that it pissedJuzo off, and that’s why he savedNaegi.
This is also perhaps a bitoff-topic to the subject, but I’ve always been curious as to why people actedlike Juzo was more irredeemable for being violent and reckless and punchingpeople early on in dr3 than many characters who have actually committed murderor other atrocities. DR is a series about murder and death and killing—and yetJuzo was immediately deemed a more unforgivable, awful monster than characterswho have killed without any remorse whatsoever. I suspect it has something todo with the fact that many people were mostly angry about who Juzo was punching or kicking, rather than the fact that he wasviolent and reckless in general.
After all, without knowingalmost anything about Mitarai or his character, people were very up in arms about Juzo kicking himin episode 2 of Future Arc, because he seemed cute, innocent, and everyone waspegging him for an “innocent cinnamon roll.” People then said that this wasbecause Juzo got killed Bandai killed by violating his NG code—but it’s not asif Juzo did it intentionally knowing that Bandai couldn’t witness any violence.He was just as surprised as everyone else when Bandai died. But I stilldistinctly remember people bending over backwards to say that this automaticallymeant Juzo was the worst character in the franchise, despite the fact thatthere are many DR characters who have intentionally done much worse.
As for the final part of yourask, about Juzo “letting Junko end the world”… Haha, I guess this is somethingyou could probably only understand if you can relate with Juzo on a personallevel. If you honestly blame him more for Junko’s actions than Junko herself, Idon’t really know what to tell you. What Junko did to him was blackmail. It wasinsidious, horrible, and the absolute worst-case scenario for Juzo. It was “despair.”If you can’t understand the fear of being outed, especially to the person you careabout the most, then you’re probably very lucky, anon.
As someone who is gay andsomeone who has been outed to abusive family, I can say that it goes beyondjust normal fear. Gay people aren’t afraid of being outed to their friends andcrushes and family because “oh no, someone will know that I’m gay.” We’reafraid of being outed because there is always a chance that people we loved andtrusted will immediately turn on us when they know, will look at us and call us“monsters,” “evil,” “sinful”—all of which I actually did have thrown at me whenmy family found out.
Juzo wasn’t afraid of much, buthe was afraid of Munakata finding outand recoiling from him, disowning him as a friend, wanting nothing to do withhim anymore. Not knowing how Munakata felt was preferable because it meant henever had to face the “what-if” possibility of Munakata finding out andtreating him like he was “disgusting” for it. If that had happened, that wouldtruly have been “despair” for him.
He was blackmailed andpressured and manipulated into keeping quiet about Junko the same way thatJunko either manipulated or intimidated or brainwashed everyone into keepingquiet and doing what she said. It makes absolutely no sense, in my opinion, tohold Juzo more accountable for “letting Junko end the world” when Junko is theone who did it. And to be entirely honest, if Junko hadn’t been having so muchfun holding that threat over Juzo’s head and seeing his reactions, she would’vejust killed him. The only reason she let him live was to make him sufferfurther—but if he had seemed like he would’ve told Munakata regardless (andJunko could’ve predicted if he would’ve, I have no doubt), then she wouldn’thave let him leave those school grounds alive.
This has gotten pretty long,but I hope I’ve been able to summarize my thoughts pretty well. Juzo is mythird-favorite character in the franchise for many reasons. He’s well-written,his flaws and mistakes are never downplayed by the narrative or turned into anendearing character trait, and I can relate with him on a very personal level.I was overjoyed when he was confirmed gay, even moreso when it wasn’t played asa joke or retconned in future episodes. Dr3 didn’t contribute much to thefranchise overall, but Juzo was at least one really incredible character tocome out of it. Thanks for asking, anon!
163 notes · View notes