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xtrablak674 · 3 months

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Henry M. Diaz

We never had any kind of romantic relationship, this was rare for me not having some kind of sexual feelings for a friend. Trust I had found a way to have some kind of intimat relations with most of my male friends when I was a young gay. I found his light green eyes attractive and he has a handsome face, but a bit short like a baby cub. Our friendship started in high school, I am pretty sure he was the class below me, we were both in the drama department at the Performing Arts high school. He had become a bit notorious for coming out publicly and being in, what was it People magazine? I think there was even a small protest in front of the school about him.

But we were friends before this, I think. Memory is so mutable. Knowing myself I wouldn't actively pursue someone just because they were famous, so I am going with we met before his fifteen seconds of fame. We did work together with Citizens Committee well it was his volunteer work that I joined him in, I was never quite welcomed into the ranks the way he was. Not sure if this was Kim Magillacuddy who ran the program and Henry lived with, or the fact that I didn't go through whatever official process or rite of passage to join the group, I did work just the same.

We went on to be roommates when I decide to leave college and pursue my career in the theatre full-time. I think he lasted a couple of years before he left to become a shaman. I don't think I acknowledged at the time that I had more affluence than him, the oldest of seven Dominican children he never had much. I had money left over from the funds my grandparents saved for me for college, this helped in buying the IKEA furniture we had in the small two bedroom apartment in Williamsburg. I remember we bought matching futons, and I painted mine red to go with the red and purple theme in my room.

The next time I had connected with Henry he had moved out of the city to some place called Greenwood Lakes, I would visit him up there a few times, once for his art exhibition at a local library, he would come down to the city for my numerous exhibition when I was actively pursuing my career in the visual art. Then we fell apart, there was some dynamic that happened between us that I don't think he ever fully verbalized, but he had met his threshold and the friendship ended. I think the last time I saw him was sometime in the mid aughts.

We had known each other for about sixteen years or so, had traveled together done a documentary together, he was featured I was the friend, we both volunteered at Gay Men's Health Crisis ending up in their Young Hot & Safe campaign that rode the subway trains stirring up controversy in the press. Social activism was important to both of us, but ultimately I had much more success in my paid careers than he did. I am not sure if this lead to bitterness or maybe feelings because he always had to struggle and I am not saying my journey was frictionless but it seemed a bit easier.

I hold no animosity towards Mr. Diaz, which is what I knew him as, he might be non-binary like me now, I'm not sure. I also knew him as half-Sicilian which turned out to be not exactly the truth. Now I think he considers himself Taino and has claimed a name that represents this new understanding. Henry was one of many friends who struggled with their identity embracing groups that were not their ones of origin.

When I found this photo from when he attended the opening of my solo exhibition Brooklyn Rises I just knew I had to post it. I didn't think I would say anything more about it. I don't think we can talk about ourselves without talking about the people we surround ourselves with, this is my attempt to do just that. Do a brief exploration of a friendship that lasted on and off nearly two decades.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

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