#mayhaps I have confirmation bias BUT

[ofswordsandpens]

I would literally give my left arm to know if Riordan actually had an original end goal in mind for “Percy’s big choice” in hoo that was more consistent with the darker build up he wrote or if it was always this desultory “noooo Percy you can’t fight Gaea because for some reason this has been about you needing to learn when to take a step back” resolution because I reread hoo and its just... all of these moments where Percy’s perspective is just full of betrayal and anger towards the gods and this deep seeded resentment is starting to take hold (which I would argue is the natural progression of his characterization if he found out everything he fought for and everyone they lost in the previous war was apparently for nothing). Gaea is dropping these ominous lines left and right  that Percy is going to be a big part of her final plan, and the gods keep interacting with the rest of seven with cryptic statements about Percy that pretty much boil down to “Percy’s dangerous and powerful so pretty please make sure he doesn't do anything bad (to us).” Then Percy has, to put it kindly, a pretty rough go of it in tartarus that I just feel that the ultimate conclusion to this arc in canon is so underwhelming to what was being set up. It doesn't feel like the end was the natural conclusion to what was being written, it felt like the threads of Percy’s story were abruptly knotted and cut halfway through the design.

#mayhaps I have confirmation bias BUT #if this was always about Percy needing to know when to /take a step back/ boy did Rirodan botch that #like how else are you supposed to take that interaction between Mars and Frank #where Mars is like /yeah Percy's going to have make a huge choice and you need to make sure he doesn't fuck up/ #other than the implication that Percy was going to be present with a huge choice with the fate of the world in the balance #and Percy choosing WRONG #(and then the in canon conclusion to that ended up being Percy not being allowed to fight Gaea it was so underwhelming) #just kidding I know what happened Riordan wrote hoo without a single plan he just wrote blindly and saw what stuck and ran with it #and just to reiterate for the millionth time: the last olympian was the perfect ending toPercy's character #and the only ending where you can stay optimistic about the gods #hoo ruined that #pjo #percy jackson #mine

[fuzzbuns]

Can we get your ramblings on comphet Nyaa-chan?

idk why I keep getting anons who wanna open up the Pandora's box that is my mind but like I would literally LOVE to talk about comphet nyaa so I will!!!!

(under a read more tho cuz this is gonna be long once again)

Before I start I just wanna say: I’m a lesbian and I'm gonna be talking about from my own personal perspective/ experience so obviously there is gonna be some bias and projection going on (Also I’m assuming everyone who is reading this knows what comphet means/is but if not comphet stands for compulsory heterosexuality). I don’t think Oso staff was literally making an episode to comment on comphet (I refuse to give Oso staff more credit than they deserve) so this is probably all accidental but I'm obsessed with reading the episode this way because I think it just fits so well and also totonyaa.

So let’s start with when Nyaa notices Oso. When we first see Nyaa interacting with Oso she honestly seems pretty guarded. She is glad that he saved her baby but she quickly pulls her kid away from him and gives him an awkward nod as if she is saying “ok thanks but now you can go”. However, the second her baby seems to show an interest in Oso (reaching out for him because his big brother charm is just so strong...) Nyaa’s reaction shifts. She keeps and eye on Oso while they are at the park and when he leaves she laughs to herself. 

This is the first aspect of comphet I want to dive into. From personal experience, I found that a lot of the “crushes” I developed on men usually stemmed from the thought “omg he is so funny lol”. To this day, the only fictional men I end up interested in are ones that make me laugh. Nyaa seems to be doing something really similar here. When she and Totoko are talking about Osomatsu she says:

In the beginning the only real opinion she can form about Osomatsu is that he is funny. When Totoko presses her for more Nyaa isn’t able to offer up much other than “you know”. She is interested in him because he is funny and she wants to get to know him more because he is funny. It’s really easy to mistake these feelings of thinking someone’s funny as endearment and attraction even when it isn’t that deep. You can tell it’s not that deep because Nyaa can’t explain to Totoko what about him is so great. And lets be real... its not like Osomatsu is a super hot guy and Nyaa is just being superficial...... she’s not infatuated with him because of looks.... Whatever it is that is attracting her to him has to be his personality but she doesn’t know much about him outside of him being good with kids and funny. She just runs into him now and then and is interested in knowing more.

Totoko goes on to tell Nyaa that he has issues to which Nyaa pretty much responses to with “epic. I like him,”. We end up seeing Nyaa do this a lot. Totoko and the others will point out undesirable things about Osomatsu to which, in response to, Nyaa will just re-affirm that she likes him. We will get into this more later when its more relevant but liking unattainable men is textbook comphet. Also the way she says “I like him” kinda sounds unsure. Like as much as she is trying to convince Totoko, she is also trying to talk herself into it. It’s ok if Osomatsu has issues because she has already decided that he was going to be the guy she likes. 

Totoko goes on warning Nyaa and we see on Nyaas face that she is getting annoyed. If you wanna go full totonyaa here then you could argue its because Nyaa is wondering why Totoko won’t just say “date me instead” but like.......... i would never argue that lol..... me??? no..... haha.........................................unle-

So Nyaa is getting annoyed and starts bickering with Totoko like they usually do and from here on I would argue Nyaa is purposely trying to piss Totoko off. She says she was “just sort of interested in him” and goes on to say you dont know what kind of person they will be unless you date them (not true at all queen). Totoko tells her that’s stupid and this REALLY upsets Nyaa. It almost feels like Nyaa was trying to make an excuse for why she should date Osomatsu even if she wasn’t totally into the idea. Comphet makes you think that maybe if you try hard enough, even if you don’t feel anything now, eventually you’ll have to feel something romantic for a guy. Totoko shooting this idea down is essentially ruining that excuse for Nyaa. So she angrily says: 

Which......... if I were... like a totonyaa....... enthusiast... I could say like.... This is Nyaa basically doing the classic “why do you care about who I date” thing...... that would be crazy tho haha.............................unles-

I also think Nyaa saying “choose” is interesting (tho I'm aware I'm going off translations and she might not actually be wording it like that) because with comphet you literally are choosing who you fall in love with. 

Totoko responds: 

And its clear that Nyaa is escalating her attraction to Osomatsu out of no where. In this scene alone we have gone from “he is funny” to “I like him” to “I was just sort of interested” to “love” even tho nothing has happened to change her feelings. She is escalating because Totoko keeps shooting her down and in order to reaffirm her feelings she has to make them more intense. She is also pissing off Totoko in the process. We see it again when she goes:

I’ve been joking about it but like... totonyaa goggles on... she is clearly doing this to annoy Totoko and get her attention. The way this line is delivered makes it so clear that she is not actually interested in getting Osomatsus number. She wants Totoko’s attention. The next frame is literally her smirking at her phone as Totoko starts panicking. Nyaa likes having Totoko’s attention and the best way to get it is to bicker with her. She is choosing a guy Totoko clearly does not like (I mean I think Totoko and Osomatsu are pals but like she knows he’s a P.O.S) and continues to egg her on about it to keep having Totoko telling her to not date him. Another key aspect of Comphet is trying to constantly get the attention of other girls. Plus, speaking from personal experience, talking about a “crush” you have on a boy with the girl you are actually interested in and having them tell you no feels nice and when I was little and the ceo of comphet I would do it constantly. 

So Totoko gets the brothers involved and Nyaa seems uncomfortable and less into the conversation (probably cuz its no longer just between her and Totoko but that's just me). Her tone is less confrontational and more just confused. It’s almost as if she feels the point of the conversation isn’t there anymore. None of these opinions matter to her. What she said to Choro was harsh but she had a point. She doesn’t know these people!! She wanted to talk with Totoko about this. However, she doesn’t seem to keep that same attitude with Osomatsu? Like what makes Osomatsu any different from Choro? 

She ends up asking everyone to leave and saying:

Once again she is using the word “chose”. She is stating she loves him despite not knowing anything about him besides his crimes against humanity (Which she agrees to that being vile so????). It really feels like she is just being stubborn. She said she likes him so stop confronting her about it because the more holes you poke in her story the more she has to try and convince herself that she genuinely likes him despite her knowing deep down that she doesn’t.

So fast forward to the night they all get together. That part about her liking a man that is unattainable is showcased here in full force. 

She loves the idea that he does not give a shit about her. The idea that he isn’t interested just makes her like him more. I can not overstate how textbook comphet this is. When the guy you picked to like turns out to not be interested in you; that is the best scenario a closeted lesbian could imagine. You get to keep “pinning” over a guy and playing the part of a straight girl without the pressure of acting on it. He isn’t interested so you are never put into a situation where you have to prove that you are. All the things he does that show that he isn’t even considering her (like not fixing his bed head and literally going after Totoko instead) are things she loves. The more disinterested he seems, the more perfect he is. This reaches its peak when Oso literally doesn’t even remember her and she says:

The idea of Osomatsu not even being bothered to remember the moment they met literally has her rolling on the ground lol. 

Osomatsu jokingly askes Nyaa if she is interested in him. She gets really quiet. Obviously this could be read as embarrassment and its probably what was intended. However, continuing with the comphet theme it could also be her realizing that she has to make a choice. She’s interacting with Osomatsu now and he’s (jokingly) flirting with her. She can’t keep acting like he is unattainable at this point so she prepares herself. He jokingly asks her out and she says yes without hesitation, confirming that she would like to date him and even adding a “please”. Because... this is what she wants right? She has been arguing for this the whole time and she was finally given the chance. Why should she say no? This is the beginning of the end.

We see Totoko and Oso having a drink (and she looks so pretty in this scene I fall to the ground and die). Totoko leaves and her body languages looks so emotionally exhausted. If I were a totonyaa enjoyer I would say “she told Osomatsu that she loves Nyaa but wants to see her happy”............... oso staff DIDN’T PUT ANY DIALOUGE IN SO ITS MY CITY NOW-

We see nyaa excited for her date and picking out clothes because!!! this is what she wanted!!!!! she fell in love and got a date! everything is going perfect!

Then she wakes up.

She is startled. Whatever she realized in her dream it was a lot to unpack. mayhaps... a dream about toto-

She sits up and you can tell from her body language that she is really reevaluating. Her feelings vanished over night. She can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. Even though everything is going right and she should be excited and happy, she isn’t. Something is wrong. It’s like the second it hit her that she actually has to go on the date and that Osomatsu is showing interest, she loses any interest in him that she had. She liked the idea of going on a date but the second it starts looming in and becoming a reality she can’t do it. 

When Nyaa apologizes and turns Osomatsu down you can tell she is embarrassed. 

She runs away, unable to face him, knowing that its her fault. See, if she woke up and was like “oh shit he IS a P.O.S” I don't think she would be so apologetic. But she is. She is apologizing for leading him on and knows that she can’t keep up the façade anymore. She knows she caused him a lot of trouble feels miserable.

So to sum it up: Nyaa was in love with the idea of having a guy to pine over. She liked that Osomatsu was an unattainable guy and that being interested in him annoyed Totoko and made her pay attention to her. But the second things got real and she actually had to go out with him, she couldn’t follow through. This can all be explained by comphet and I would even argue its like one of the only explanations for the ending that makes sense but I might just be bias. 

also I think Totoko and Nyaa should just make out...... Happy Valentines day!

#fuzzy rambles #totonyaa thoughts on valentines day.... yes i am lesbo.... #I hope this ramble is coherent I tend to go all over the place and tried to stay on topic but like i couldnt help it in some places #I just think if I handed nyaa the lesbian masterdoc she would be like.........................oh. #idc what oso staff throws at me.... lesbian nyaa is real.............i know this.... in my heart...

[weishenbwi]

MASTERLIST (part VI) - SPECIFIC POSTS - updated regularly

**A Note to Minors** 

My Fanfics

MY FICS (tumblr format) 

My FICS (AO3, preferred)

KPOP (images)

embrace male idols in crop tops

Kang Daniel feat crop top

BTS (images)

pick a Yeontan mood

vmin cursed kpop image #95

Taehyung peak baby boy culture (feat Jimin)

looking smaller than they actually are

Jungkook eyem-!

Looking at Jimin’s ethereal beauty like 

is this song about Jimin?

Jimin exposing a member series: Jungkook

BTS (videos)

lil meow meow waddle (vine)

young Taehyung (vine)

Yoongi being a tough softie in a onesie

Jimin whining cutely 

for whomst is JK this cute for

BTS as the Shark Song

vhope sunshines

RM: from daddy to dork

vmin sunshines

jikook rly bfs eyem-

Someone: Who is BTS? Me: *shows them this video*

jikook stans collect ur men

hoseok with this look

“A video of tae saying goodbye to all of the animals in english and namjoon saying "go back to the zoo!” 😂😂💕🐯🐢

Confirmed: Min Yoongi is a kitten

Hype Yoongi, Jimin not having it 

NCT (images)

Duality: Jaehyun

Looking effortlessly handsome: Johnny

Renjun was choatic since the beginning

Jungwoo v Jaehyun (difference)

NCT has no chill: Jaehyun

Taeyong and Jungwoo: battle of the subs

oKaY jAeHYuN

Jaehyun Taeyong bech the fock

NCT in collars: Taeyong

NCT (videos)

Doyoung making cute noises

Junguwu at Isac

Koala Jungwoo on Jaehyun’s back

Doyoung reads fanfics confirmed

Jaehyun breaking records at Isac

WAYV (images)

Lucas b/w (mayhaps i fainted)

Lucas is thicc

WAYV (videos)

Winwin flirting with Ten

Kun gifting us with the piano like the king he is

EXO (images)

Funshine CareBear Baekhyun

Suho came to conquer

EXO being ethereal: Jongdae

When you just want to shower with your members but they won’t let you

If there aren’t fanfics about Suho’s trip to Dubai as a multi-billion dollar CEO then what’s the point?

Female Idols (videos):

TWICE: for the gays only

TFW:

you accidentally delete files and u cant recover them

adding NCT birthdays to calendar

NCT/WAYV does anything feat my gay ass

Taeyong makes me trip like the fool i am 

when your bias posts a selfie

Black on Black comes on shuffle

Finding a fic with lots of warnings and the author’s note: “Read at your own risk.”

kpop stans with their bias

Writing a smut and wondering if it should end with all the members ejaculating on the main character. But then you realize bukkake isn’t something everyone wants. 

when you spend time on a fic that no one reads

How you feel when abandoning your going-nowhere fic

working on a fic but readers be like.. i came here for smut

Dividing up your money for comebacks when you’re multifandom

your bias skin is “accidentally” exposed

BUT HE DOES IT ON PURPOSE

when a member is written as a smoker to make them look cool

you’re deprived of smut for longer than a week

waiting for inbox notifications

you’re reading a fic and it says “… Noona” and later “Please daddy…”  and you’re like

Hobi does *anything*

Jaehyun uploads NCT daily while being a sleeveless thot

General sh*tposting

Renjun & Ten @ SM make this happen 

FICS READ 

2019: Jan, Feb, March, Apr, May

Q & A:

search #answered lmao 

#mymasterlists #weishenbwi #tags #links #masterlist #i finally made a masterlist after 2 years #someone give me a kookie #mine