#meanwhile IRL i only have friends bc. i was the new kid more than 7 years ago and everyone decided to try to be my friend

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

major same to the autistics have the "social deficit" trait of just having no desire to make new friends 99% of the time. like, you may or may not like HAVING friends, but either way don't feel like making them or socializing. my entire friend group and also my online friend group exists only because they adopted me into it and i decided to stay

#autism #actuallyautistic #seriously my friend mika just came into my tumblr inbox one day and bc i decided she was interesting i kept talking to her skdhksdjfhk #and atlas just DMd me one day and we started talking about loons #the rest of the friend group followed bc of them #meanwhile IRL i only have friends bc. i was the new kid more than 7 years ago and everyone decided to try to be my friend #about 2 of them stayed skdhfkdsjhfksjdhkghjskf i did NOT like most of them and judged accordingly #the exception is my best friend who i actually approached first! ... because i liked. her name. yeah. logical there #and then we didnt talk for a year and then HER friend got me to hang out with both of them and now they are my 2 friends #traumadump moment but i DID want to make friends with people when i was little i think. but then they were mean to me and i was like #''lmao nah im done'' and now i only hang out with people who prove they like me (as in. they reach out first) #but also even when i did want to make friends.... i didnt actively do it lmao. my friends were my cousin and my old best friend #and that was basically it