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#but also even when i did want to make friends.... i didnt actively do it lmao. my friends were my cousin and my old best friend
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major same to the autistics have the "social deficit" trait of just having no desire to make new friends 99% of the time. like, you may or may not like HAVING friends, but either way don't feel like making them or socializing. my entire friend group and also my online friend group exists only because they adopted me into it and i decided to stay
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blueslight · 1 year
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👎
#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for#evidently not making it clear enough to her#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
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draygon-lord · 1 month
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Vent
#the anger about all the shit they did is setting in and im just tired#like why tf when i was going dark on everything because i was actively suicidal did they immediately assume it was intentional and maliciou#why did they immediately decide it was on purpose to hurt them and for attention#why did they show up to my house when i wasnt there without telling me or making any attempt to contact me beforehand#and at the time say it was to deliver a present because theyd be too busy to deliver during the holidays#only to two weeks later after i reaches out first when i finally felt marginally better#they blew up at me and said it was actually because they were worried and that because i worried them they didnt want to talk to me anymore#but i could still talk to them even though ive been asking for literal years to not be the only one reaching out anymore#and theyd never reached of their own volition at any point#like how does any of that make sense????#how is any of that good friend behavior or found family#both of which they claimed to be#why did they immediately assume me being actively suicidal was intentional and malicious towards them#theyve never shown actual interest in how im doing or my life so what tf was that performative bullshit#why did they also assume me cutting them off and leaving the group was intentional and malicious to prevent them from#inviting the friends who were there for me to their super bowl party#like why tf does it seem like they believe only them and their feelings matter???#what the actual fuck#at no point had any of them shown any interest in my life or how i was doing so was i just supposed to sit there and be quiet???#like how does any of that make sense
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toastsnaffler · 9 months
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day 2 of no wifi.. hanging in there 😔😔😔😔
#its pretty ok so far tbh im not that reliant on being connected to the internet#and i have soooo much unpacking and decorating to do that im constantly busy anyway. but i miss scrolling tumblr mindlessly 😭😭#also its a bit lonely bc im used to living w 4 other ppl not 1.. and my flatmates being a bit reclusive atm#i mean we did go for a walk earlier so not that reclusive its not like i havent talked to her at all#but i like being in the same room as other ppl even if im doing a non social activity like reading its just nice to have company#so it feels reallllly quiet bc she stays in her own room all the time. which is normal for her im just. more aware of it now its just us 😭#i think shes finding the move harder than i am bc she knew our last flatmates better than me + lived there way longer than i did#and also i think most of her social life is online/over call so not having wifi means she cant rly talk to ppl as much#not that i dont have an online social life but mine is more sporadic than hers so it doesnt affect me as much#ik im not her first choice of company either... not that she doesnt like me or anything but we're not that close so#but stilllll let me sit in the corner snd hang out i can be quiet if u want me to i promise 🧍‍♀️#anyway i dooo get it if shes not feeling great#hopefully she'll adjust and find it a bit easier soon and we'll have wifi by tues anyway#and thurs im going to see family for a week so at least then ill have 24/7 nonstop company plus getting to cuddle the dog :-D#+ seeing a bunch of friends yayyy. i need to make friends in my new area too ive got a couple social groups listed to try out im excited#AND coincidentally one of my old friends works in this city too so i need to make some plans with her when im back !!#i didnt rly bother making any new friends in the last year bc i liked my flatmates enough to get my socialising in w them#but now im kinda raring for it. i do rly love meeting + getting to know new ppl just so long as its on my own terms#i.e. when i have my hearing aids in. and when its not super late in the day bc i get tired and easily overstimulated#bless my last flatmates but they were their own group + i didnt know them for enough years to be a true member tbh#itll be nice to make new friends in a situation where im not just the stray dog one of them dragged in to live with them#ok thats a little mean on myself but still. at least ill waste less time triggered by rsd now#anyway lost where i was going wow i wrote a lot of tags i doubt theyre all coherent bc its 2am im going to bed goodnighhttt xxxx#.diaries
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malkaviian · 1 year
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you know, golden probably gets very jealous sometimes of spring's relationship with the inmates, especially his Very Special(tm) group
#spring is allowed to have more fun with them because he provides them activities to do#like singing or painting classes and stuff#so of course the inmates like him; hes fun to be around#meanwhile golden's (and bon's) presence is just there to remind them theyre being punished and have to behave accordly#and honestly he sees the treatment the others give him vs the treatment they give to spring and feels jealous bc he wants that too#sometimes the fact hes just a toy the others use for their pleasure and take their frustrations out stresses him#especially fox; whom hes the most attached to for more than obvious reasons (they have a kid together!!!!)#i mean; fox acts EXTREMELY cold towards him after having seba; and he gets it they dont have to make it obvious#but some days hes especially sensitive and that treatment just... hurts coming from the father of their child#and it's even worse if we add fred's constant psychological abuse#sometimes he daydreams about at least being able to take care of seba (with or without fox) and feels very embarrassed#also he sees that at least fred and fox still act like friends even when they also have a kid together#and feelings win over logic and he wonders if hes actually the problem; rather than seba being an unplanned child#like he wonders if fox is cold/acts kinda angry towards seba when he visits because hes their child#and if he was 'someone elses' (so; spring) child then he would be a caring father#because at the end of the day fox did accepted to have eris for a year with him before she went to the orphanage#and as i said; feelings win over logic and he cant help but wish that was his case too#fred even got to name her!!! thing he didnt; he wasnt allowed to even name his child#and he cant help but find it unfair. he *tries* to remember is for the best but. you know.#man i went on a ramble lol sorry#au talk
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zeravmeta · 4 months
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sometimes im normal and then sometimes i think about how robin had been on the run for 20 years starting at age fucking 8 and when we meet her she's actively aiding in the destabilization of a country and gets so many people killed but one of the first things luffy says about her is that she isnt a bad person. I particularly think about her first appearance and her interactions with crocodile, because crocodile is (much like other OP characters) kind of a ridiculous man in his dramatic overcoat and his giant pets he feeds people to and. do you think robin was emulating him in that way with her own personal giant dramatic coat and cowboy fit. on the run for 20 years ever since she was a child, having to make herself useful to people so that they wouldnt suddenly abandon her, emulating her boss not only to gain his favor but also to try and appear intimidating herself? how many times had she done something like this. robin is a character who presents herself in so many ways, always wrapping herself up in an air of mystery and intrigue but shes also so deeply childish, she constantly makes morbid jokes about her situation because the last lesson one of the only people who cared about her gave her was that what else is there to do but laugh. to never stop laughing. having lived on the run she knows that an assassin is most effective when their weapon is concealed and yet she freely shows off her powers just to gain their trust. to play with luffy and chopper and usopp. how gratifying do you think robin felt when nami called her a sister. in skypiea she's constantly providing tactical assistance in how to survive in the wilderness but she's afraid when luffy and usopp start laughing at her suggestions. lets make a bonfire, robin! we're out camping, this is what you're supposed to do! she freezes in the same way she did when the kids on ohara laughed at her but even when the straw hats happily invite her to party she still stands on the edge, sitting further from the rest. she doesn't know what to do there. she had no will to live after luffy had saved her but one of the truly happiest moments she has is when she's not even cheering, just sitting in awe seeing the ancient city in the sky. was she thinking of her friends then? she never had friends her own age, just scholars multiple times her age and yet they were still her friends, who would never get to see this sight. when aokiji reappears and nearly kills them, shes stonefaced upon waking up that the straw hats even considered having a sleepover in her room. because they were worried about her. she's never had a sleepover, and it's something so simple to the straw hats, that of course they wouldn't see their friend as someone to use. she's never escaped the headspace she was in when she had to run away from the mountains of corpses of a burning ohara. the first and last thing her mother ever said to her was that she didnt know her, no matter how much she wanted to embrace her daughter. she never had the chance to say goodbye. she never had the chance to grow up.
sometimes i think about how nico robin was in many ways raised by her friends in the straw hats with their love for her and hauve covid
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paper-mario-wiki · 2 months
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Hi, sorry if this is a weird question, but do you ever feel lonely in tf2? I've been playing for a few months now and while it's mostly been fun I always get this dreadful feeling when the match ends and everybody leaves. I also haven't made any friends which makes me sad. Have you made friends and if yes, how?
that feeling of loneliness has existed in the heart of every TF2 player since the Meat Your Match update.
it is difficult to meet people in casual unless you're an active participant in chat, or somebody else goes out of their way to interact with you specifically.
i find it really enjoyable to type in chat (even with the chance that 40% of the time i do it's spammed by bigoted jerks), and at the beginning of most of my games i start by sending "hi everyone! im googoo. lets all have fun together ok?" and more often than i get called annoying or cringe, im met with people saying "hi googoo!" and "gl hf!" (good luck have fun), which feels nice.
be ready to up and leave games if things become TOO heinous (what constitutes "too heinous" is up to your own discretion), but also dont be afraid to stick it out and talk with some of the other weirdos who play this 17 year old game.
sometimes, talking with people who are dickheads can be fruitful too.
one time, i was playing in casual and i met a stereotypical edgelord toxic tf2 player. they were typing shitty things in chat and had a bigoted name on one of their weapons. i called them out, and said "that's a weird way to act, most people will find it odd". as a result, they were teasing me and calling me names during the game, but i still played along side them. after a while, when they noticed that i was still being a helpful teammate to them and letting them take health packs/extinguishing them/protecting them, they were like "why are you helping me after i was a dick to you" in voice, but i ignored them. from then on they werent verbally abusive anymore.
the game continued, and they were speaking more in voice chat, specifically to me mostly, but i never responded. and after a while they said disappointedly "did googoo mute me?" and i said "no i didnt mute you." and he said "why do you still help me? even after ive been an asshole" and i said something along the lines of "i want to be a team player, and you are a part of my team. i dont want to be vindictive, because i dont think that's right. it wouldnt be helpful. i just wish you were a kinder person" and they said "oh. ok" in a really sad way.
after the game they left this comment on my steam profile.
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and a few weeks later, they deleted it without another word.
the point of this story is that even as unapproachable as people seem, and as unapproachable as they will make themselves, every person playing has some degree of rationality and understanding, and they want to be a part of the normal social world too. some of them just dont really know how to.
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iouinotes · 4 months
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Beautiful Boy | Alex Walter
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pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader
show: My life with the Walter Boys
warnings: mostly fluff and love confessions, but a bit of implied sexual activities
word count: 4,6k
summary: You are completely in love with your best friend. When the chance is given, you decide to finally take it and show your love.
a/n: The story will mention a review from the past, where they play truth or dare. So, I was inspired to write that scenario: match made in heaven is here!
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He's everything I ever wished for. It´s silly, thinking about it, really. My ongoing crush for him since the first time I met him all these years ago.
It was during the first day after the winter holiday. It was dark outside, very cold and rainy weather. Well, unfortunately it did not look like that in the morning, so I instantly panicked after school, because I forgot to bring my jacket. Normally one of my friends picked me up after school and drove me home, but she was sick today and I heard about her being ill, last minute.
So now I´m standing in the hallway, debating if I should better start to go to the bus station (probably getting soaked) or if I just walk to the school library, hoping that the weather cools down. I was drowning in my own thoughts, when I first heard his voice.
"Are you okay?" The second my eyes landed on him, I was gone for good. Because the boy in front of me was utterly beautiful. Handsome round face, freckles, warm brown eyes and a shy smile. One look at him and I fell in love with his beauty. Little did I know, I would soon fall head over heals for his personality or the way his voice sounds when he is making fun of me, because I believe in love at first sight. How could I not, when I have met him?
He was very caring the first time we met. Even though I was embarrassed of my situation, he made me feel comfortable. When I told him about my difficulty, he instantly helped me out. He told me, that his brother also picked him up from school every day, so it wouldnt be a problem, if I came along. Not only this sweet gesture made me speechless, it was also the way he stripped out of his jacket and gave it to me without hesitation, when we went outside and he saw that I didnt bring a jacket.
"What? No, I can´t-" I tried to argue, but one blink of his lashes, one look at his eyes, was enough to keep me occupied. "My mom would kill me, if I didnt. It´s okay, I dont mind." He really was the sweetest. His jacket kept in fact, keep me warm. And it also smelled like him, thats what made me blush in the end. I didnt know, if he noticed me looking at him from time to time (but then again, he nowadays didnt noticed it either), but I could not contain myself.
He was a gentleman, shy and adorable. He was all I wished for in a guy. When his brother - who I idetified as the most popular guy of our school- Cole, came in sight, only then it clicked. The boy in front of me, with his nervous smile, was Alex Walter.
When the car parked and the headlights were visible in the rain, we quickly ran to the blue vehicle. His brother didnt talk much, so the car ride was mostly quiet, my eyes were out the window and my thoughts were on Alex previous gesture of holding the door open for me. He didnt intend for me to fall in love with him, but I couldnt think of anything else to do, better than exactly that.
"I didnt get your name?" was all he said, when the car stopped in front of my house. "Oh right, sorry. Im y/n." He smiled again at me and my heart wanted to jump out off my chest. I didnt really notice Cole in the front and his famous "Cole effect". I was all catched up, by the beautiful boy next to me.
"Alex" he shook my hand and it made me giggle. I saw his ears turning pink at my laughter, so I smiled at him, so he knew I wasnt making fun of him. He relaxed then, but much to my dislike the blonde brother spoke up, before I could say something else. "I dont have all day, so are you two done looking at each other or can you go now? I swear, I saw y´all nearly kiss." At that, I was the one who turned red. "Sorry, thanks for the ride and-" as I wanted to strip off the jacket, Alex stopped my movements. "Oh no, you can have it. I mean- it´s still raining outside, I-I dont want you to get sick." Maybe I was already at that exact moment, falling in love with him. I also think, that his words made my cheeks turn a shade of red, that wasnt even on a scala anymore, because it was so high.
"But when do I give it back to you?" The last thing I wanted to do, was crossing a line with the Walter brothers. And maybe I also hoped to see him again. "Tomorrow? I will be in the gaming room in third grade. If thats okay with you?" He spoke quickly, because Cole kept getting more annoyed. "No, its fine. Thank you, Alex." I kissed him on the cheek (dont know where that one came from) and before I could look back, I was already out of the car and running towards the house. When I opened the door and the warmth embraced me, I looked out of the window from my house. The car was already gone, but I remember smiling so bright, I almost could not contain the happy feeling that consumed me.
That was the first time, my diary heard of Alex Walter.
The next day, I searched through three gaming rooms before I finally found him, starring at his laptop. As soon as I tapped him gently on the shoulder, he turned around and looked at me suprised. When he asked me, if I had had any trouble finding him, I said "what no, it took five minutes", when in reality it took 20 minutes, but he sounded really sincere, so it didnt matter.
That was the start of our ever-lasting friendship. We became best friends quickly and are verly close ever since, he is my other half. We are always together, in the hallway, at lunch, we see each other at the weekends and we even got the price "the best of best friends" by our friendgroup. I mean it was funny and its nice, really. But it says everything. We are just friends.
It��s very funny actually, because he knows me better than anyone and I can´t keep one secret from him. He just knows, when something is up. But my biggest secret of all time, that was the part where he was clueless about.
My love for him.
He just doesnt notice and I tried to not show it, but everyone knows I like him. Well, expect for him. When I look at him too long, because I (again) got lost in his eyes or looked a second too long at his lips, while he talked, he thinks he has something on his face. When I compliment him, for literal anything, he thinks I make fun of him, so he doesn't take it seriously. And I tried almost everything, so he could finally notice. Maybe then he could make the first move.
I once talked about my ideal type, because it was a truth or dare on my birthday party and I literally described him - he didnt notice. I swoon on a daily basis over his beauty, his intelligence , his personality, his habits, his cute flaws like staying up all night to play a video game - he doesnt know. I tried to learn his favorite video game, I read the Lord of the Rings saga, I even watched baseball games with him, I do anything so he will notice, how much I care about him. But he just doesn't get it.
If I would know, he simply didnt like me that way, I could somehow cope with that. But then, there are moments, where I would catch him starring at me, where he seems to be the one wanting me. He watches romantic movies with me and lets me cry about it after, when I´m sad about the ending, Sometimes I even get to lay on his chest. He listens when I talk about my newest book obsession, he goes shopping with me, even though he hates it. He helps me studying and I can tell him anything, he´s always there for me.
So it could be, that maybe my feelings were not completely unrequited. But then again, why didnt he made a move by now? Nevertheless, it keeps me awake at night. Because I want nothing more than to kiss his soft lips, feel his skin against mine, to look at his eyes and study every single freckle from his neck to his forehead. I want to love him. In a way, he knows it.
These feelings, these thoughts are constantly in my head. Especially now, when I sit across him and simply look at his concentrated face. His eyebrows are drawn together, he´s currently biting on his bottom lip, his nose scrunched in a frown. The light of his room shows me every little detail of his face. In moments like this, on a friday evening, where we study together for a biology test, I wish he would know how I feel about him. Because it would make everything so much easier.
Its currently raining outside, a remember of our first encounter, the clouds are dark and I hear loud thunder since the last couple of minutes went by. "Do you think, it will get better? The weather clearly looks bad." I shift my gaze to look at him and when I catch him starring at me, my heart swells in my chest.
I want to break the distant between us and close the gap of our lips. Want to get to know every little detail of his body. But as he speaks up, I clear my head. "I dont know, Danny said something about a storm. I honestly didnt know, it would be that bad." He closes his textbook and stands up, looking out the window. ,,Should I go?" My question suprises him. "Now? I think if you take a step outside, you will get swept up by your feet. It´s not safe." He looks at me unwary. "I dont know, I always wanted to fly. Maybe thats a sign." I grin at him and he laughs quietly. "Yeah, of course. Let me ask my dad, what he thinks is for the best. Maybe he can get you an umbrella and you do your best Mary Poppins impression."
~~~~~~
30 minutes later I find myself in a full-on Walter-family-disscussion. "But uncle! I dont get to have girls stay overnight. Thats unfair!" Lee is looking at George, unable to hide his jealousy. "When did a girl ever wanted to stay overnight with you?" Isaac asks from across the table. Lee just ignores him, an angry look in his eyes.
"Look, its nothing that I will allow forever. But right now, she cant go home, so she is welcomed to stay here." I smile at him, thankful that I´m not getting thrown out. "Also, she is like a thirteen family member. She´s practically living here." George added. One look at Alex and I wanted to know what he was thinking. Was I just like a sister to him? "Okay enough of that. Y/n, dear you are welcome to stay the night. We will figure it out. Nathan is staying with Skylar, so his bed is free." I´m glad, Katherine is here. I thank her and George and by the time, we ate dinner and Alex got me a toothbrush, so I could get ready for bed, it was late after 11.
As I make my way back to Alex's room after using the bathroom to change into my clothes, leaving me with shorts and a shirt, Cole is suddenly standing next to me. "Well, what a great opportunity for you." He grins at me. At his comment, I am visible confused. "What do you mean?" I look up to his smiling figure. "You have him all by yourself, of course. Your chance to finally do something. I can´t stand it anymore, you like him and he likes you. I always thought you were the clever one out of you two, so please put everyone out of this misery and kiss him, because he´s a complete idiot. It's long overdue for you two to get together."
His words leave me stunned. After he´s done talking, he makes his way silently back to his own room and I´m still standing in the hallway, trying to process his words. Kiss him. He likes you. Does Alex really likes me or is that some cruel joke for Cole? I hope not. Because my friends have told me several times, that they think, Alex likes me too. But I always thought, they were wrong.
My heart is heavily pounding as I make my way back to his room, taking a deep breath as I open the door. Alex is playing a video game, as always, but I see that he also changed into something more comfortable. It helps me calm down my nerves, when I see him doing something, he always does. I take a few steps towards his chair and his concentrated figure.
I mean, what was there in life, if I didnt take any risks? If he likes me back, it could be the answer to all my dreams and if not - well, the weather was still going pretty bad and could help me out of the awkward situation.
When I decided to test their he-likes-you-too-theory, I quickly came up with a plan. Okay, so I wasnt the best at flirting, that was for sure, but I could make a move. For starters, I wanted something, I often thought about.
As I stand behind him, I trace my fingers along his shoulders, hearing his surprised breath, that he quickly tries to hide. Well too bad, I heard it.
"Alex?" My voice is quiet.
"...yes?" I can see his muscles tense, while I keep touching his shoulders, going lower until I touch his arm. Something about what Cole said, about Alex liking me, gives me a certain confidence, that wasnt there before. Please dont let the King of hooking up be wrong.
"Could I borrow one of your hoodies? I´m freezing and only have my shirt." I try not to think about the possibility that he laughs in my face and says no. But then again, I know that Alex wouldnt do that. "I-uh, yeah. You can, um, grab one out of my closet." I smile to myself, when I see his eyes nervously scanning the display. He paused the game, even though he doesnt look at me while he talks.
"Thanks." As I turn towards his closet, I get the feeling that he´s secretly watching me choose a hoodie. When I get a hold on a dark green one, I immediately know its the one from when we first met. I take it and walk towards the other bed, getting a glimpse of his eyes, that continue to follow me. And then I do something, I thought I would never do in front of him. I change out of my top, the cold air hitting my skin and I hear him gasps.
When I change into his hoodie, a settling warmth embraces me. I smile to myself, a joy blooms in my chest, the feeling of wearing his clothes, makes me feel too good to be true. The shorts I´m wearing are the same ones as before and I think, that I kinda like the casual look. And maybe it looks fine, that could be a good way to get Alex attention. My shorts cover my thighs, but because his hoodie is bigger than what I normally wear, this way it looks like I only wear his hoodie.
When I turn around and fix my hair, he already started another game again. Okay, mission getting-some-sort-of-reaction, is starting to get interesting. "Soo, what do you think? Too big?" I wait for his reaction. When he slowly turns around, one hand holding up his headphones, I see him trying not to stare too hard. But since I see his eyes scanning my body, it´s impossible for him to pretend. I smile to myself.
"And?" I make a step in his direction, watching him swallow. His eyes wander to the floor and a nervous expression crosses his face. "I- I need to finish this game so-" he turns around so fast, I´m almost surprised his neck didnt broke. Shit. That wasnt part of the plan. I glance around the room, trying to come up with something, another way to keep his attention at me. I sit on his bed, near his computer and decide to watch him play. I hear the sound of the game playing in the background, while I continue to think of a way for him to notice me.
And even though I keep my hands to myself, I see him sqirming in his seat. I laugh quietly. "Everything okay?" it seems he isnt that concentrated anymore. "Yeah, uh, are you bored? You never watch me play." His head turns to look at me. "You could teach me some moves." I say, looking at him and then the game, that shows a spider attacking some creature. He raises his eyebrows at my words.
"You sure? I thought you didnt like video games." My eyes wander to his lap as I quickly come up with a plan. "Maybe I will like it, if you show me some tricks. And also, I like you and you´re really interested in gaming, so I thought I could make an effort." His cheeks are blushing, my eyes are starring at his clueless ones.
A smile tucks at his lips, but he tries to keep his cool. "I mean, I´m really good at this, so I could teach you one or two lessons. Where do you want to sit? I only have one gaming chair, but-" he glances around the room, trying to come up with something.
"Well, we could share?" I ask, my voice sounding sincere and not as much thrilled at the idea, to sit in his lap, even though I am freaking out in my thoughts. His eyes widen, when he realizes what I just said.
"You want to-" he doesn't finish his sentence, stuttering at the idea of me sitting on his lap. "If thats okay with you, of course? I think its the best solution, I mean I do want the full experience. So its fair." I see him nervously licking his lips. "Yeah, yeah. I get that. Okay, cool, how do you want to-" I smile at him and his nervous speech. "Just relax, I dont bite. You do know that, right?" I laugh when I see his ears turning pink.
"Right. So uh, come here, I guess?" He puts his arms on the armrests to give me good access and I feel myself getting nervous. God, I never got to be this close to him. I stand up, his eyes take my form in his sweater in, I see him starring at the naked skin. And when I see something shining in his hair, I act without a second thought.
"You have something in your hair, dummy." It's a little paper ball from Benny, probably from the previous dinner (fight), I lean myself down, facing him forward in his lap and cross my legs over his thighs. I don't notice what position we are in until I lean back to show him the piece of paper and suddenly, I'm just a few centimeters from his face. Shocked by the less to no space we have left between us, he doesn't speak and neither do I. We just look at each other.
"i-i got it." The words leave my mouth, the distance between our faces -god his lips look so soft- leaves me speechless. It takes him a moment, but when he answers he sounds just as out of breath as me.
"thanks."
Again, we sit in silence. Suddenly I loose my balance and I almost fall out of the chair, but his arms are quick to catch me. So now, he has his arms around my waist and my arms linger around his shoulders for support. If I would lean closer, I could kiss him.
The thought of kissing him, makes me sqirm and when he lays his hands onto my waist to still my movements, I feel dizzy. Because Im not just sitting on his legs. Indeed, I sit literally on his lap. So when I feel myself getting wet, because he makes me so touch starved, I completely loose my mind.
"Im sorry- i didnt mean to sit that way. I just-" his eyes are so fascinating, brown, green and warm. It feels like he´s looking at my soul. He´s watching my every move. I know I should probably get up, but its the first time, he is that close to me and I cant stop looking at him.
Without a thought in my head, I raise my hand and touch his cheek. I see his lips breaking apart, so he can draw a surprised breath. "You have so many freckles everywhere." My eyes wander around his face. His voice comes back to life for a second, but only to sign. "Too many, actually." I draw my eyebrows together.
"It suits you and it´s not too much. Thats a perfectly fine amount of freckles. Look-" I start to count them. Each and every one. Starting from his ears towards his cheeks, his nose, further down until I stop at his lips. "You have one right above the corner of your mouth." I mutter, my thumb brushes his lips for a second.
Caught, my eyes sneak back to search his gaze. But he just looks at me. My heart feels like it could break any second, if I dont open my mouth to say something.
"You are" I begin to say "so beautiful to me. Every freckle you have, the colour of your eyes, your hair, your lips, your voice, just you."
I cant hold back anymore.
"i-i love you, Alex. I really do. I thought it would just be a crush that would go away, when time goes on, but it hasnt. You´re in every piece of my heart, you hold it together. You are my joy, my laugh, my sadness, you were everything for me, the first second I got to know you. Because you are the best person in my life, my best friend, my other half, my partner in crime, I would bail you out of jail in a heartbeat. Without you, my heart wouldn't beat anymore anyway. Because you make it live. Every day, every time I see you. Maybe if I would have known better, I would have never agreed to take your jacket, the first time we met. If I would have known, how absolutely in love I would get with you, it would have scared me to death. But now? Now I know better than to be away from you, because I better live as your best friend than without having you in my life. Because now, being away from you would be my death."
In one second, I bail my heart out and before I know it, he takes my face in his hands and leans forward. He stops his movement right before our lips touch.
"I think you will be the death of me too, sweetheart."
And with that, he kisses me.
Slow at first, his lips touch mine, so very soft and gentle. I almost think I´m dreaming, because his lips do feel like a dream to me. His hands caress my back and I clutch to his shoulders, afraid the moment will end. His warm hands strive back to my cheeks, tilding my head in a way he can have more access.
And I let him, mainly because I´m too caught up with this emotion and also because I would let him do anything with me. My hands are in his dark hair, gently tugging at his strings, so I get to hear that little breathless sound he makes, that makes my heart flutter.
I sink in his warm embrace, moving my lips with the same rhythm as him, hearing my heartbeat in my ears. His right hand goes to the back of my neck and this action makes me weak in the knees. And he notices it. Gently he breaks apart, leaving me with the want to have more of him and when I open my eyes - I didnt know I closed them - he looks at me, like I´m the sun and he´s the moon, that was away for too long.
"God, you´re so beautiful." His voice is deep, I can hear him catch his breath. His words make my heart ache until I think it isnt able to comprehend his compliment. I feel his lips again, my eyes flutter at the contact. One hand around my hip, holding me steady and the other one, around my neck, making me unsteady.
"alex-" a moan wants to escape me, but I try to hold myself together. His lips leave my mouth and trail further down, finding a spot at the curve of my neck.
"god, yes. Say my name again." I´m pretty sure, I never wanted him more than now.
My hands linger in his hair, I feel his hot breath on my skin and clench my thighs together. He is making me feel all worked up. As his lips leave that spot, I whimper his name, but as soon as his mouth leaves my body, he reconnects with it.
Brushing my hair aside, he kisses me again for a second before he lets go of me. With that, im completely convinced he hates me, the way he´s making me suffer. I hear him quietly laugh, so I slowly open my eyes to watch his face.
"You look drunk on love. Are you alright?" He smiles at me, looking at me, like he didnt just turn my world up site down (and my panties wet, by the way).
"What?" I ask, catching my breath. His skin glows and as I watch every detail of his face (how could I not), I almost miss his next sentence. "I would have never thought that this was your idea of gaming." I feel his shoulders move, when he tries to keep himself from laughing.
I gently smile and roll my eyes. "You are just too handsome for me, to concentrate on anything other than you." His cheeks turn red and there´s a glimmer in his eyes, that makes me feel completed. "So that´s why you have bad grades in math, maybe I shouldnt be sitting next to you then." His joke makes me laugh.
"Well, maybe you can give me some private lessons, so I could improve." At that, he opens his mouth, but no words are said. "Too stunned to speak?" I lean forward, his eyes follow my lips. "You just never flirted with me, its distracting." He looks up.
I just shake my head. One of my hands sneaks around to linger at his cheek. "Oh, trust me. I have. You just never noticed." His eyebrows rise. "Thats a shame. But I guess I have now." He catches my lips.
Yes, he definitely did notice me now.
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mediumgayitalian · 2 months
Note
okay a few solangelo things i’m curious your take on,
what kind of gift givers do you think will and nico are to each other?
are either of them music nerds? making playlists? gifting playlists? what music do u think they like?
what is their favorite fruit?
do you think either of them keep up with pop culture? are they fans of anything? celebrity crushes? like do you think will would think timothee chalamet is cute bc he lowkey has nico’s vibes and is such a buzzer name for celeb crushes? lolll
and then, do you think nico shamelessly takes will’s sweaters and shirts to wear or secretly swipes them?
ty! love ur blog so much xx
HELL YEAH THANK YOU
what kind of gift givers do you think will and nico are to each other?
i think nico spoils will fucking rotten.
his dad is the god of wealth he is holding NOTHING back. aside from that, he grew up wealthy and spent so so long in the lotus casino. i think he has a rly bad handle on money lol.
however he's such a mysterious guy that i think it doesn't occur to will that nico is actively spending money on him??
like will makes an offhand comment about how he would marry the person who would bring him the mystical rocket launching boba fett. and nico is like word okay and the next day there is a rocket launching boba fett on will's pillow and he's like BRO???? OH MY GOD?????
but he just figures that nico knew someone who had it!! he knows nico is big on figurines & collectibles and has a lot of connections, so he thinks nico just called in a favour.
in reality nico did all those things and also spent like two hundred k lol
basically, nico doesn't even think about it. if he hears a friend express a want that he has to means to acquire...its not even an active choice to him?? he's like well why wouldn't i buy this for them.
and i think this means a whole lot to will!!
he's spent his life in his mom's tour van or a bunk bed. he grew up in two wars. he was responsible for an entire infirmary at 13. he's a nerd and he likes nerdy things but like...collecting takes time. and money he doesn't have, because money isn't really a focus in camp and its not like he's paid lol
so of course there are things that he likes but...imagine being will. imagine having a budget for the INFIRMARY YOU RUN and thinking, like...well the camp has only so much money. i know exactly what these medical supplies cost. i refuse to steal. why would i ever be so selfish to ask for money to be spent on me and the things i like?
and then there's nico, who doesn't need him to ask. who WANTS to give him things he wants, not just what he needs or what he wants for others. what WILL wants. nico will get him.
will on the other hand....he gives away his time like it's free.
he does things for people. constantly. like austin complains about not having anywhere quiet to practice and will builds him a soundproof practice room. you know?
now when nico, who has had no one spend their time on him since bianca....
like his father did not have time for him. even when he lived in the underworld, he was put to work. or else he was bored. it's not like he and hades HUNG OUT, you know?
and of course he had no friends to spend their time on him. even in his first time at camp half blood -- for the first time, bianca didnt have time for him. she chose the hunters for ETERNITY, she said i am done choosing you now. and nico drove percy insane, who certainly didn't have time for him between saving the world. the entire time we saw him in TTC he was being pushed away.
by the time he had hazel, HE was the one pushing himself away before anyone else could. he filled his time so he wasn't waiting for anyone else. besides, through no fault of hers, he and hazel CAN'T give each other as much of their time as they would like!! they live on opposite sides of the country!!
but will.....
gods will. will SEEKS HIM OUT. the first thing will says to him is i have carved out, in my busy healer schedule, three days of time for YOU. not only have i carved out these three days, but in that brief moment of time where i was running around camp, i was thinking about you. you were a PRIORITY and i'm upset that you did not come spend your time with me.
like.....oh my god. can you imagine that? being nico? hearing someone you barely know, at this point, talk about how much time he wants to spend with you? and then as you get closer, he spends SO MUCH time with you!! he makes you a priority!
will walks nico to breakfast and watches him in sword practice and takes out his schedule when nico is making his to make sure they line up. he plans dates and they're FUN and he is so careful to make them enjoyable for nico, too, so much so that he forgets his nerves.
the biggest gifts they give to each other is noticing, i think. i see you, i see what you need and wont ask for, and i care enough to give it to you anyway.
are either of them music nerds? making playlists? gifting playlists? what music do u think they like?
will is the HUGEST MUSIC NERD IN THE WORLD.
he may not have many musical talents himself but music was naomi solace's whole world. you bet your ass it's everything for him, too.
he is teased for his love of country, and he does love country (everybody loves country if you hate country you are lying to yourself, i know you sing along to before he cheats with your whole chest), but he has a VAST music taste.
he is a britney spears stan. i will not be convinced otherwise.
nico, on the other hand, is not nearly as ignorant about music as people pretend he is. y'all he was in a casino/arcade until like 2006!!!!! do you think it was silent in there!!!!! do you think he is not the absolute king of just dance and DDR!!!
however he was, like, 10. so i think he's familiar with a lot of songs but in the way you were when you were a kid, you know?? like i could sing paparazzi w my whole chest beginning to end flawlessly at eight years old, but i would not have been able to recognise lady gaga by name or sight.
i think he and will make somewhat of a game out of it. the first time they hang out, nico is NERVOUS beforehand. like for hours. will said they were going to have a chill day bc he has time off, but what are they supposed to DO?? before they were actively doing stuff together. will was teaching nico first aid basics, or nico was helping him around the infirmary; they were helping rebuild camp together. sure, they were talking, but they had something to focus on if things got awkward or conversation faded naturally.
that is VERY DIFFERENT from just hanging out in person. is nico supposed to have conversation starters prepared? how much silence is rude? is will going to finally decide he's boring? or weird? will is such a hyper person!!! how is nico supposed to entertain him!!
meanwhile will is in his cabin freaking the fuck out to his siblings like GUYS HES GONNA THINK IM A WEIRD NERD DORK LOSER 😭😭😭.....WHAT IF HE SAYS THE WORD SAND AND I GO ON THE ANAKIN SKYWALKER RANT ON REFLEX FUCK KAYLA WHAT DO I DO I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON HE IS SO OUT OF MY LEAGUE
so he calls his mom 💀
and his mom is like baby....you are a disaster are you aware. and hes like thanks MOM i know i need HELP OKAY
and naomi is like well you got on with my backstage crew just fine. and hes like well yeah we just talked about music that was easy.
...
OH THANKS MOM YOURE SO SMART
and he's like wait nico has spent a lot of time in the underworld...he might not be very up to date!! this'll be awesome. so he stays up till like 3 on the big house computer carefully making nico several CDs worth of playlists.
he makes HOURS of music. way more than they could ever listen to in one day, but he gets carried away. he makes a playlist with his favourite country music, including his moms stuff obviously, with rock music he thinks nico in particular will like, pop punk stuff, regular pop, an entire CD dedicated to the icon herself kesha (whom he knows personally bc she sun backup vocals for his mom when she was a teenager), some musicals, and some iconic european music to top it off. he has a little bit of EVERYTHING.
most important, though, he makes a CD with the top 100 billboard songs from the years 1958 (when it started) to 1985. he doesnt have enough time to do it all the way to this year in one night but vows to work on it when he has time.
when he goes to nico's cabin, he comes with a stack of CDs as long as his arm and chiron's CD player. he's practically sparkling with excitement; when nico opens the door he is already halfway through a sentence lol.
for four straight hours, they just listen to song after song, will pausing after each one to ask what nico thinks. he recognises a lot of them, even though he didn't know their names, but even still he's pretty quiet at first. but as they go on it gets hard not to get caught up in wills excitement, and he dances like such a dork, anyway, is it his fault for laughing? and those four hours pass like MINUTES and suddenly its curfew and will has to go.
this becomes their tradition! will plays a song, nico reviews it. even as they learn how to hang out with each other in different ways, it becomes reflex -- when there's a song playing will looks at nico for a reaction. when they're with others, in public, whenever.
the first time nico makes will a playlist he cries.
the playlist is called sunshine.
will plays on his walkman until its worn right through.
what is their favorite fruit?
at first will thinks nico doesn't like fruit at all because he has to force this dumbass to eat fruit and vegetables. all he eats is like. cereal and sandwiches. it stresses will the fuck out.
he's out here plopping a bowl of fruit on nico's table like eat this whole thing or i'm gonna whoop your ass before scurvy does. (he is genuinely afraid nico is going to get scurvy, although its not a very effective anxiety because hes kind of deeply afraid of scurvy in general and is always trying to push people to eat oranges lol).
nico ALWAYS drags his feet about it. at one point will gets worried that nico just straight up doesn't like fruit and starts fretting about synthetizing supplements.
turns out nico is just, like...a little pretentious. about fruit particularly. in his defense, he has been all over the world. like he's had indian mangoes and algerian clementines okay it is VERY hard to settle for stuff grown in north america as nice as the demeter greenhouses are.
his favourite fruit ever is the lemon though. he had a lemon tree in his backyard when he was a kid that he doesn't remember, exactly, but he remembers how it tastes. will brings him a lemon once and almost as if his hands are working on their own, he cuts a slice, removes the peel and pith, puts it in a jar of sugar, and shakes to coat it, like his nonna would do secretly when he mama wasn't looking. its the best thing he's ever tasted.
will is a fruit fanatic, on the other hand. he steals strawberries every time he walks by the fields. the demeter cabin has to count their blueberries every night because he can and will eat them all when no one's looking.
his favourite, though, and he never ever gets it at camp, is prickly pear. in the summers before camp he would go to the desert with his mom and pick enough to make his stomach hurt -- he's never home when they're in season now, so sometimes when she's free shell drive up to new york just to bring him a box of them. she knows he's busy and cant leave camp in summers but she wants him to have that, at least.
do you think either of them keep up with pop culture? are they fans of anything? celebrity crushes? like do you think will would think timothee chalamet is cute bc he lowkey has nico’s vibes and is such a buzzer name for celeb crushes? lolll
i think all year-rounders are into pop culture just fine, but they're a few years behind. except for music -- will knows music. but things like movies and tv shows and memes, they either get updated from their summer-only friends or they stumble upon in naturally when it's not longer relevant lol.
nico, though, has an encyclopedic knowledge of old pop culture, because the lotus got new tech and games and movies before literally anyone else. he saw back to the future before it was in theatres and it changed his life. he quotes it all the time and no one has called him out on it then, but it is only a matter of time.
(he has seen star wars. he saw star wars before will was alive. but it is 100% funnier to pretend he doesn't know what a galaxy is and watch will's eye twitch when he asks him about luke skyrunner)
and then, do you think nico shamelessly takes will’s sweaters and shirts to wear or secretly swipes them?
yes absolutely. but he's super embarrassed about it at first so he genuinely STEALS them, not just borrows them.
it's a heist and everything. he shadow travels into the apollo cabin at like three in the morning and rifles through will's shelf. when he gets back he panics and shoves it under his mattress, where it lives in shame for four months. will just thinks it must have been an unfortunate victim of some poor sick child or bleeding demigod and writes it off.
after several months, during which nico thinks about the sweater ALL the time but cannot physically force himself to touch, nico finally gets brave enough to take it out from under his mattress. he just stares at it for a long ass time, wrinkling it in his clenched hands. it's just a hoodie, you know?? who cares.
nico cares. obviously.
eventually he gets so annoyed with himself that he just yanks it on expecting to be able to tell himself like SEE you dumbass it's just a piece of clothing it literally does not matter. except.
except.
the hoodie still smells like will.
somehow.
and that is.
well.
he would rather dunk his head into the river of fire than admit it, but he melts. the hoodie is old as hell and worn and so so so so soft, gods, no wonder will wears it all the time. he never wants to take it off ever.
for weeks, whenever he's alone in the cabin, he wears the hoodie. it stops smelling like will pretty quickly but he doesn't mind, it's still the most comfortable thing ever. it becomes second nature to walk into his cabin, throw off his jacket, and tug the hoodie on, wearing it to bed.
on one night, and of course it's the hermes' cabin fault, everyone is rushing out of their cabin to see what the fresh fuck is sounding like twenty four fire alarms at once and also a nuclear explosion. nico, in his haste, does not take off the hoodie.
will, whipped, makes sure his siblings are okay and then turns immediately to find nico. he Sees The Hoodie. nico Sees Him See The Hoodie. nico tries to flee.
will has longer legs and also spots a teasing opportunity, so hera herself could not stop him.
will teases him to pieces but is also visibly pleased. the next morning nico finds another hoodie of will's hung over his desk chair.
he wears will's hoodies all the time.
THANK YOU FOR SENDING THESE IN I HAD SO MUCH FUN
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epione-xx · 1 year
Text
BABY, PLEASE
WARNING. THIS. IS. A. SMUT!!!! And a fever dream. Idk what was happening when I wrote this but…eh.
CONTAINS: breeding kink, master/pet play, situationship, lingerie + nudes, unsafe sex (plz never do this in real life)
There also could be a pt2 if you guys want 👀
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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥
‘Lmao no, I’m with a guy’
Damian gripped his phone tightly in his hand and frowned, reading and re-reasing the text again before texting back himself, only using one word.
‘Who?’
And when she didnt reply, he scoffed an threw his phone into his backseat. The crinkle of a bag signalling it had been caught and he hand taking it further than intended.
And then he tapped the wheel impatiently, thinning and thinking and…then finally turning around to grab his phone again to see if she had texted back, and seeing she hadn’t yet, he groaned and leaned back before grabbing the bag of his newly bought ‘essentials’.
Now these essentials weren’t really…well what you think. Instead it was a pack of condoms and other various things that ranged from a box of chocolates to a newly bought phone charger since he had forgotten his own.
He always forgot his charger when going to her house, being fair…most of the times he went there when he was frustrated with his father and then she would…help him through it…
And it started off like that. He had a fight with his father, stormed out and drove off in his car before remembering that he had forgotten any type of protection, which then lead into a trip to the store, which lead to him buying everything he thought was needed before texting his hook up to se did she wanted anything…
And that’s why the dreaded text came. The one that said she was with a guy.
Damian pursed his lips and decided to indulge himself in one of the chocolates he had gotten, unwrapping the shiny blue foil of it before popping it into his mouth and opting to scroll thought instagram for a bit.
His instagram wasn’t interesting per say. A bunch of art and a few posts from various friends here and there…it was all boring until he saw the little green dot under her photo.
Now was his chance.
‘What happened to the guy?’ He texts ‘wouldn’t be active on instagram if you ever evening fucked. We all know your not competent enough to do two things at once’
Rolling over her bed and pulling her pillow to her chest, Y/n snorted at Damian’s text and rolled her eyes, that mother fucker was just jealous.
‘Didn’t work out. He was way to kinky’
she was hoping for a rise out of him, something- anything, brining her lip she watched as the little dotted bubble pop up before going back down again.
Letting out a sigh she rolled over again and carefully looks to her wardrobe, maybe she had a good idea…
And so getting up, she carefully walked over. Careful to not make any sudden noise in hope she wouldn’t wake anyone up.
She dressed herself in a elegant green set of lace- a new one that she had gotten for Damian…using Damian’s card, being fair- he asked he too.
Soon y/n set up the camera and placed it close to her thighs, you couldn’t see her face- but that was the point. She knew Damian hates not being able to see her face…
And so she snapped a shot, sending it straight to him with the caption. ‘I feel so empty without you’
Damian stared wide eyed, his pants were getting tight and he could physically feel himself grow to be in more pain as he stared at the photo- how dare she do this to him!
And so he set the phone down and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm…before his phone dinged again.
And before he could eve consider what the text could be, he picked it up and hurriedly searched for her name.
Bingo, it was another photo.
This time it was in the same set but the camera was more focused on her chest, showing her boobs off proudly with the caption ‘id like to be fuller, please daddy.’
And Damian stared, and searched for words before texting one thing back.
‘What if I fill you with my cum? My heirs? You wouldn’t feel so lonely and empty then would you? You would be filled with your lord all the time…’
His pants tightened. He never realised that he could have a thing for her in that way…he never realised he had a breeding kink.
And so he set off to her place
The woman at the other end of the line flushed deeply at Damian’s words and squeezed her legs together, that had to be int of the most sexy things he had ever said to her…and imagining herself pregnant, full with his child…and even better, being claimed by him in that way…it excited her.
There were so many things she was thinking of now. Things she had never even dreamed off…it was like she was in a haze.
But knowing Damian, he was teasing her. He would never make any of that a reality…so she set off for the shower, trying to wash away the arousal.
…or so she thought, the bathroom door opened, Samoa standing there both flushed and hard as he looked at her.
“Damian!” She shrieked as she stared at him “what the hell! How did you get in?”
“Spare key” he stalked closer, a primal instinct in his eyes as he stared at her and slowly Pepe’s the glass door.
Her face flushed aa she stared at him, watching as he underdress himself. “What are you doing?” She asks, almost sounding meek.
“You think I was kidding?” He asks her, looking her body up and down before licking his lips. His cock growing even harder. “You think I was joking beloved?”
She felt herself grow wetter and she slowly nods “I mean, I guess I was?” She says. “I never pictured you as the da-“
She didn’t get to finish, Damian had turned off the taps and had picked her up. Throwing her over his shoulder before he set off too her bedroom. Placing her on the bed….right in front of her floor to ceiling mirror.
“Look at yourself” he set her upon his lap, fingers dancing across her stomach and chest “look at how pretty you’d be holding my heir, how beautiful you would look…” he sucked hickies into her neck.
“You would be so swollen, so needy..and I’d fuck you every single day.” He purred
Her head rolled back into his neck and she arched her back as Damian’s fingers went to her nipples and he pinched them lightly, rolling the buds between his finger tips before he grinds into her.
“Your beautiful tits…they would hold so much milk” he smirked “it would leak out of you as I fucked you, you wouldn’t be able to control it and if drink from you every day”
She shuddered and closed her eyes as she felt this hand move from her chest to her stomach, rubbing lightly before he dived the down and pulled her thighs apart.
“Would you enjoy having my baby?” He purred “like a good little slut?”
She gasps and nods in a hurry “I would, I would so much my lord. As long as you were next to me I would enjoy anything~” she clenched around thin air and moans.
He smirked and slowly began to rub her clit, making sure to tease her. “You would be so sexy” he hummed “so beautiful, I’d fuck you all throughout your labour”
She flushed even more “Damian!” She whines loudly “please~ please fuck me now. Put your baby in me-“
She gasps as she was picked up and throw onto the bed mercilessly, thought being opened by his rough and calloused hands before he looked at her “are you ready for my child? Or do you need me to put a condom on?”
She stared at him and felt herself grow hotter “I need your baby. I need to be pregnant with your baby…to be your queen”
He smirked and nods before he slowly thrusted into her, letting out a satisfied moan at how she clenched around him.
She gasps in pleasure and clawed at his back “just give me a moment”
In a sweet moment, he nods na splayed a soft kiss on her lips before trailing it down to her chest “why don’t I show you how good it’ll feel?”
She nods and moaned as his lips began to suck on her nipple, soon enough she was grinding on him- begging for more.
And that’s when he began to thrust. Lifting his head up and staring at her deep in the eyes as the bed creaked beneath them.
“Good girl” he groaned “such a good girl for me. You’ll be rewarded pet~” he moans as he kissed her.
She gasps and moans as she dig her nails into his back, wrapping her legs around his waist.
“Damian!” It was a sharp gasp, her toes curled as she came around his cock, which then sent him over the edge to cum inside her, burying himself as far into her as he could before he felt himself explode and paint her walls white.
She took deep breaths, heart beating out of her chest as she looked up at him “thank you master” she whispers
He also took deep breaths and pressed soft kisses to her hairline “thank you beloved” he says “please. Be my one and only…be my wife”
She smiles and nods “always”
Even if they had skipped a couple of steps…they were both happy in the end…and who knew what the future held.
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silent-sanctum · 3 months
Text
You know in honor of Valentines Day, how about I make a list of Valentines headcanons about Jotaro Kujo:
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♡ When someone asks what flag color he is, one would most likely say red because of his rude, standoffish, and aloof personality (mostly seen in his teenage years)
♡ However, if you think about it aside from the rough exterior, he's actually a subtle green flag. Let me explain-
♡ This is one of those instances where you have to look past his awkward loner-esque personality and observe how he treats people that don't constantly piss him off.
♡ There's a reason why some of us compare his "heart of gold" to the Amazon Forest that is Jonathan:
♡ Jotaro respects boundaries. As someone who's space often gets violated by unwanted fangirls, he's very aware of the importance of personal space. He won't force you to do stuff you don't want to.
♡ Jotaro is open-minded. He likes to explore his surroundings a lot and isn't exactly rigid with preferences or routines. He's willing to accompany you to wherever you want to go and would try out stuff you'd like for him to try out. After all, he did surprise Joseph when he said India was a neat place to be in.
♡ Jotaro is an active listener. Unlike Jonathan, he can't really offer you solid words of comfort. It's not his expertise. But to make up for that, he'd lend a ear to whatever you want to say to him. Sure, he won't talk much but at times, when you really need someone, he'd be there for you- help you out by giving advice on how to not get hurt again, and help provide you logical reasoning that validates your feelings.
♡ Jotaro is loyal and caring. Yes, he's all "mean and grouchy" no one's denying that, but behind that tough skin is someone that loves his friends and family. He values their security above all else and is willing to put his life on the line just to keep them safe from danger. He also isn't one to condone cheating as evident by his statement about Joseph's infidelity.
♡ Jotaro's love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time. He likes company but he just can't express it well. At times, he'd spend some of his free time just being by your side, lowkey glad seeing you happy with him around. He can tell when you're upset just by reading your body language or can tell what you need from piecing together recollections of your words. As a result, he'd find ways to make you happy using the methods he can do. He'd buy stuff you like, offer you dinner dates at a restaurant that serves your current cravings, put on your favorite movie or music etc.
♡ Jotaro isn't as possessive as you'd expect him to be. He's very aware he's shit at being an entertaining guy, so he isn't in the position of being all high and mighty of wanting you to just be with him. If anything, he likes seeing you enjoy your day hanging out with friends... but he'd really appreciate it when you'd often have him in mind and you invite him to hang with your friend group. Whether he accepts or declines, he's happy you considered inviting him. But if he sees someone blatantly trying to make moves on you, then he has to intervene to remind everyone that you're taken.
❣️ When Valentines arrives... ❣️
♡ Honestly, don't expect him to show up in public being head-over-heels with some grand display of affection because he's not Jonathan nor Joseph.
♡ Instead, you'd find him waiting for you to finish your tasks and either tells you ahead of time where they're going to spend the day or asks you where do you want to go.
♡ Either way, you engage in usual banter and conversation, just how you both liked it over the months, and continue to do so even when dining or spending time in said place.
♡ You both don't show much PDA as an average couple would, and you didnt mind it one bit. But there are times where Jotaro wouldn't mind holding your hand in public. He'd slowly reach your hand, hold it, and place your interlocked hands in his pocket. And you find that genuinely endearing.
♡ Depending on his impromptu plans, he'd either bring you out in a quiet area of a park or ask you if you'd like to hang in his place or yours. And when reaching somewhere private, it's only there that you find out he actually bought you a bouquet and a gift containing something you wanted.
♡ With the way he approached you all bashful under his hat throughout the entirety of the day, you're reminded why you fell in love with him despite the awful first impressions.
♡ To end it off, you both finish the day either by cuddling to sleep or having an intimate session before going to sleep.
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i-heart-hxh · 5 months
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hi i have a question :3 i didnt rlly fully get these panels but was killua over the edge here bcuz he was worried of gon? like knowing bisky said he would leave gon to die someday.. i was guessing he got so paranoid of it and did this for gon's safety. (^^; help
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Yeah, primarily what's going on in this exchange is Killua knows Gon has issues with seeing innocent people being killed, and he worries Gon will intervene if he sees the reality, and get himself killed or injured before they can complete their mission. So he's pushing Gon away for his safety, and so Killua can do what he needs to do without putting him at further risk. Killua did promise himself that he'd protect Gon and make sure Gon can fight Pitou, so this is a part of that.
It's actually part of a larger pattern we see with Killua's behavior towards Gon, where he decides to "protect" him by leaving him out of things and not giving him the full context of what's happening. Think of way back in Heavens Arena when Gido and Sadaso were threatening Zushi. Instead of telling Gon what was happening, Killua went behind his back and handled it himself. Another example is dealing with Rammot during the date with Palm. Not that Gon could have done anything then because he didn't have nen, but Killua doesn't even tell him anything about what happened after the fact.
Of course, it comes out of protectiveness and knowing Gon tends to take things too far, but at the same time it means their relationship can't be fully equal as things are--if Killua feels like he has to hide his own feelings and even what's going on around them in order to protect Gon, it means Gon can't make his own decisions or react to the full truth of a situation, and Killua has to make all these judgment calls about what he thinks Gon should and shouldn't know.
I actually think this exchange is interesting because here Killua is a lot more forthright than usual about what's going on and why Gon needs to stay out of it. But I think it also shows that the issues between them aren't entirely Gon's fault--it also comes from Killua pulling away as a result of his own ways of seeing Gon. Rather than laying out what's going on, discussing it, and letting Gon make his own decisions or talking it out so they both can figure out a solution, he makes decisions for him.
In this case I don't think he's necessarily "wrong" to do this within the context of the mission (though it ends up being a dangerous choice for Killua), especially because he tells Gon what's happening and why he's making the decision he is more-or-less, but it's part of a continuing pattern of Killua trying to shoulder burdens for Gon while (usually) shielding him from knowing Killua is even taking those burdens. In the process of taking on everything himself and not believing he needs backup or help, Killua very nearly gets himself killed (the needlefish scene). Only his kindness in seeing an enemy as a potential friend saves him ultimately.
We don't even know if Killua tells Gon the truth about what happened with that, either--my strong guess based on Killua's repeated tendencies is that he didn't, and he hides the seriousness of what happened to him because he knows it'll upset Gon and split his focus.
Also worth noting that Killua gets so worried about what Gon thinks of him and whether he sees him as a friend or a teammate in this arc, but here within the same arc we see Gon actively disappointed that Killua won't rely on him and stick with him, and wanting to continue to act together. We even see him thinking about it after they split up, worrying about Killua:
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Of course this is well before he goes into his full rage hyperfocus that causes him to lash out at Killua, but I still think it's telling that here Gon is wanting to stick together and worrying about Killua's feelings. He seems pretty upset that Killua insists on doing this alone, even though he accepts Killua's logic.
This is all part of the communication tendencies on Killua's side that he's going to need to work on in order to have a better relationship with Gon. Of course, Gon has plenty of maturing to do himself, but I think it's worth remembering that Killua makes decisions like this a number of times that he thinks are in Gon's best interest, but it stunts their communication and means they can't work out the issues between them until they blow up in their faces.
Even their parting seems to be an example of this, where Killua makes all the decisions for Gon and tells himself it's in Gon's best interest, but likely doesn't explain fully why he's doing this. So again Gon is left in the dark about Killua's true feelings and motives.
It makes sense this is Killua's tendency, as is explored in canon Killua was raised with a smothering love, wherein he isn't able to have agency over his own life and others are constantly making decisions for him without his input. It makes sense his love for Gon contains some echoes of that.
Of course, it's something I'm sure they can overcome with time and maturity, but this scene is one example of Killua's protectiveness of Gon getting between the two of them.
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idkwhatimdoingbutslay · 8 months
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… I can’t imagine that we actually watched the same show. Like I REALLY AISNSOSNWKMEJDND
hold on I’m gonna need to calm down.
Let me just make a list of why I disagree and at least organize my anger. Long post incoming.
Vander was friends and had a deal with Grayson. The sheriff. Idk what else to even add to that
Caitlyn is more than a cop and Arcane isn’t copaganda. Genuinely don’t know what kind of progress some of these people are looking for. Real allies are a necessity for real progress.
SILCO IS A CLASS TRAITOR. HE FUNNELLED DRUGS INTO THE UNDERCITY AND PUT POOR KIDS IN FACTORIES FOR THAT DRUG FOR PROFIT!!! HE PAID THE ENFORCERS TO LET HIM DO IT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE
Vi is not as much as an activist as you would like to believe
WHY IS EKKO NEVER EVER BROUGHT UP IN THESE CONVERSATIONS????
Silco was not good for the Undercity
Silco was not a great guy. Ekko had to build an entire separate hidden community for the people he hurt and stepped on for his own benefit
Caitlyn is ignorant and naive. That’s ok. That’s what character development is for.
Loving imperfect characters like Silco and Jinx then hating characters like Vi and Caitlyn is peak media illiteracy to me
FOR THE LAST TIME: VI DIDNT ABANDON POWDER!!!!! Silco literally wanted Vi DEAD for trying to stop him from killing Vander??? How could you possibly say silco was there for jinx when Vi refused to be???? SHE WAS IN PRISON BECAUSE OF HIM???
Silco’s manipulation is working wonders on y’all
Embracing all the outrage without at all looking out for the people harmed by bigotry is not activism
SILCO IS A CLASS TRAITOR x929282929394
Caitlyn was the first person in years to show Vi kindness and care. She listened and stuck by her and took care of her after Vi was locked up for years and beat up by cops (i wonder what led her to be thrown in there?). Cait being a cop stopped being a point of contention once Vi recognized her naivety and genuineness.
NUANCE NUANCE NUANCE. ITS NEVER EVER BLACK AND WHITE
The only way I can see Vi touching ‘class traitor’ in season one was the shimmer raid. Guess who the hell put those kids in there in the first place.
Just hanging out with Caitlyn isn’t being a class traitor if Vander’s allowed to be friends with Grayson.
Critical thinking is very necessary for watching shows like Arcane
What the hell did Silco really do for the Undercity???? What changed over the 7(ish) years he was basically in power of the place? All I���ve heard was he made the air cleaner, which would be great except for, you know, shimmer and the child factory workers
Jinx is unwell and feeding into it like this in a fully serious manor would not help Arcane as a show at all
What do you want Arcane’s message as a full show to be? ‘Screw cops’? That’s a little boring and unproductive isn’t it?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT EKKO AND HIS IMPACT PLEASE???? x9382728283
Caitlyn is trying to make Piltover and Zaun a better place. Is that not allowed? Am I missing something?
Caitlyn and Vi’s arcs have only just started. Season one is basically fully set up except for characters like silco and Jinx. This is far from the end.
Genuinely think Vander would appreciate Vi for being friends (using this term loosely because they are in love) with Caitlyn considering he was the one who was opposed to war and Vi wasn’t.
Silco should NOT be your idea of Undercity independence and respect. He oppressed the Undercity the same way the Council and the Enforcers did. He helped no one but himself, his team (barely) and Jinx.
You’re allowed to like and dislike any character you want but pretending like Silco is better for the Undercity than others is just so ridiculous to me. Everyone is of course completely allowed to like Silco, but we can’t pretend like he’s this stand up guy. If you have to pretend like he was, maybe you don’t like him as much as you think.
“Because Cait’s pretty” is also incredibly incorrect. Go check point #14.
Vi never stopped loving and caring for Powder. Powder’s mental health issues were amplified and utilized by Silco because he couldn’t even heal himself.
If all of your opinions of Caitlyn and Vi start and end with “cops suck” and “class traitor” then you genuinely don’t respect Arcane as a show enough to show you nuance.
The misinterpretation of characters is just so … it’s like you go out of your way to love and/or hate characters no matter how much they show you who you are.
Your closed mindedness is clouding your judgement and making you out to seem like you don’t actually want the Undercity’s triumph, you want Silco and Jinx’s, even if it means ruining the Undercity. And that would be fine because father/daughter evil duo but trying to say you’re all for this duo because you want what’s better for the Undercity when they continue to hurt it is simply not correct and very harmful (to fictional characters in a fictional universe 😭)
Only being able to understand how Silco and Jinx were oppressed and therefore should be able to not just destroy Piltover but also Zaun is not the eat you think it is
Why is Viktor never called a class traitor? I think he's great (I also think Silco and Jinx are wonderfully written) but we hardly saw him in the Undercity/ interact with people from the Undercity plus he killed someone (Sky) from there (accidentally)
EDIT TO ADD ANOTHER POINT: Caitlyn has shown little to NO malicious intent and has no real negative impacts other than Jinx’s attachment issues and insecurities being amplified by her mere existence. Again, this is her story and development. Throughout the season she is exposed to reality and recognizes her and her peers/ families wrongs. I have no idea what you want from this character. Should Piltover just be gotten rid of in the story? Then what? Should Caitlyn have just never gotten involved and continued to embrace her privilege? Should she have left Vi in prison and stay ignorant?
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bestygogirl · 3 months
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BEST YGO GIRL: FINAL ROUND
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please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.
Propaganda under the cut!
Isis Ishtar
gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm
anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive
she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists
as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything
speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny
shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.
also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.
kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy
anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit
Yuzu Hiragi
The entire show would not work if the cast wasn't obsessed with her, and they're all right to stan her, literally gets Sora and Serena to defect from Academia with her sheer charisma, beat Masumi at their gay little rivalry, Yugo spends a few days with her and is ready to die for her, Yuya is simply just the loudest about adoring her And why not? She is so clever and determined, doing the most work out of anyone to figure out the myth plot. Actively trains to keep up with the rest of cast. Even when the universe is conspiring against her and trying to keep her down, she fucking headbutts Roger and tells him off or manifests to help save the world in the ultimate girlboss team-up that was the Arc V finale. Truly any dimension without her is worth upending.
The mysterious magical bracelet that isekai's her to different worlds, the Can-Do attitude, the cool poses (fusion summoning), the ADORABLE character design, AND she was 1/4 of a world-saving hero in the past?? If it weren't for the meddling writers, she would have been the main character
yuzu is everything. literally the plot of arc v hinges on the fact everyone who meets her become just as obsessed with her. and they are totally right to do so
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junosmindpalace · 2 years
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hello! i saw your requests were open and you write for saiki k ! 😁 I was wondering if i can request general dating hcs for saiki?
my first saiki request! exciting! also ive been so active??? hopefully i can keep this up, ive been working to clear out my inbox so i can open it again!
i miss watching saiki k i need to rewatch for the thousandth time 
general kusuo saiki dating headcanons
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-for saiki, dating was never something of interest to him, especially considering the nature of his supernatural abilities
-even he’s uncertain how he managed to fall in love with you in his hectic everyday life, but he did, and to his surprise, you liked him back! So boom boom you two are dating!
-dating saiki isn’t a secret thing, but a private thing, you get what i mean? He doesn’t go out of his way to hide the fact you two are seeing each other but he definitely doesn’t initiate pda or outright tell people the two of you are dating just for the sake of telling
-saiki isnt completely reserved as most people may think though. I mean hes in a relationship for a reason. If he didnt want to take on the responsibilities of being a boyfriend then he wouldnt be in a relationship. Simple!
-pda is an absolute no no most of the time, but in private, he doesnt mind being more physical
-by physical i mean bothering the shit out of him
-maybe the two of you will be reading on his couch, opposite end of each other, and out of nowhere you just stretch your legs onto his lap
-he shoots you a glare and you stick your tongue out, and thats pretty much it. He doesnt push you off, just continues reading and letting you relax
-maybe you’ll both be watching tv in the dark late at night and you’ll lean into his side and again, he wont move. Hell, he might rest his arm on the cushion behind you!
-dating saiki means youre probably the more talkative one, but there are plenty of times where saiki just loves to rant to you about his annoyances
-”ah look, nuisances A and B.” “kusuo thats rude” “dont pretend to be all nice”
-he brings you everywhere with him. As he already almost constantly gets dragged into something he doesnt want to do by his friends, he’s dragging you along with him so you can suffer too (cough he can tolerate his friends a bit more)
-youre a bit of a translator for him, usually the one who excuses his rudeness sometimes and he’ll go “don’t speak for me”
-his friends are shocked when he finds out about you to say the least. But they adore you!!
-sooo super nice because of course. eventually as you all continue to get closer and they notice the subtle change in saikis demeanor when hes around you, the soft smiles and attentiveness, theyre genuinely so happy for the two of you
-you have to beg him for homework answers that he typically refuses to give you, saying you need to take responsibility for your work
-you do know about his powers; you have to if youre his partner
-and sometimes you cant help yourself by asking questions or asking him to show off sometimes
-but other than that youre respectful of his boundaries and leave him alone about it
-but maaaaybe sometimes he’ll be nice. like if you accidentally misplaced something of yours, he’ll use clairvoyance to find it and silently leave in somewhere you’ll find later
-cafe dates! Purposely makes sure to steer clear of places his classmates would visit to avoid attention
-surprise him with a sweet he likes (bonus points if its to cheer him up after his friends put him in a foul mood) and he’ll give you a brief kiss on your cheek <3
-his parents love you which he doesnt know if its a good or bad thing, because theyre constantly all over you, his dad teasing him all the time
-you’re always welcome in their house!
-something you wouldve never expected was saiki getting protective, but when it comes down to his brother, he cant help but be a little nervous, so he keeps you a lot closer when hes visiting or his family visits him and invites you to come along
-overall being in a relationship with saiki is surprisingly exciting, and though he isnt very vocal about it, its through his little actions that you can tell he appreciates having you in his life
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arcanavoid · 10 months
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About Julian
In my post About Dorian I mentioned how people in the fandom typically reduce the M6 into one or two personality traits. I’ll be talking about Julian today and the fandom's treatment of him!
I'm going to try and keep this factual and not opinionated, nothing like “he should only be like this” and more like “this is what he is in game, but people show him like this” 
It's gonna be a long post so if you don't want to get into the topic, or don't feel like reading something long then go ahead and scroll by! I don't mind! 
And if you want to make this a civilized discussion then i don't mind talking and hearing others points out either!
So let's go!
Julian is a Doctor who went to Parka to learn medicine and got most of his experience on battle fields while he apprenticed under Nazali. He started up his own clinic in Vesuvia and ended up being hired by the palace to work on the red plague cure, eventually treating Lucio himself. 
After the apprentice died he was stricken with grief, eventually he had an affair with Asra but it didn’t exactly last. He soon found a cure in the form of killing Lucio through sickly hallucinations of the hanged man. 
Julian is a smart man, who often blames himself for things that were not his fault, even putting himself at risk with no evidence simply to save others or because he feels guilty. He loves people with his whole being and yet doesn't trust himself to be around them as he thinks he’ll hurt them with again no evidence. 
So tell me why most of the Arcana fandom will portray him as, for lack of a better word, idiotic and whoreish. 
I know Nyx Hydra poked fun at Julian a few times, mentioning that he likes to use leeches or make him kinky, but that is simply not his whole personality.
Yes, he can be flustered easily, and easy to arouse, and a masochist. But he is also lovey dovey, and soft and mushy and loves with his whole heart not just his dick.
And he literally went to school, i know its a big joke that he simply doesn't know what a medical school is but he literally went to one… and even if he didnt and there's no evidence of that he was at least mentored by Nazali who definitely did go to school. 
Now again i'm not saying he can't be horny, oh on the contrary he is horny, for someone he loves, not just a stranger. And by all means he's not the smartest man in the world, he actively struggles to comprehend magic and the Arcana realms but that's because he is smart with science and medicine! 
And yes you can write porn without plot with him, he doesn't have to show off his undying love in every single thing he's in. and yes you can make him marvel and question magic and still show his smarts in reality. He literally tries to use logic in the tower's realm and figures out that the realm is looped by testing out his hypothesis. 
All I'm saying is that a lot of people reduce his character when he really is rich in personality, and hopefully this will help bring some light as to what his character might look like more fleshed out. 
Another point I want to touch, is Julian as a background or side character. I’ve written a fanfic that was focused on my Mc, Asra, my friends Mc, and Julian. But my friends Mc and julian were supporting cast, so Julian wasn’t as fleshed out as Asra, but i didn’t reduce him to only horny or kinda dumb whenever he was “on screen” his traits just didn’t show as much as it would if he was a main character.
So what should we take away from this? 
Well, Julian can be horny and isn't the smartest man in the world, but he is much more than that! He's loving and cares so much about the people close to him, he's smart and doesn’t know much about magic but is willing to try and figure it out with the knowledge he has. He gives his whole self to someone, his heart and body. And he does not need to constantly show these traits in depth especially if he's mostly a side character in someone's story. 
Julian is a lovely character, and I would love to do an analysis of him after I re-do his route, but I think this is good enough for now.
Of course you can all do what you'd like with him, but when it becomes prevalent that the fandom is mostly thinking of him in a reduced state it becomes a little saddening, and it's good to remind ourselves that he's not all horny and unknowing! 
Feel free to give your reasoning for making him more horny, since i’ll be honest i don't think as many people think they’re dumbing him down. If anything I think Lucio might be dumbed down more, but I definitely notice the dumbing down of Julian too.
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