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#my door got caught on my laundry basket and crutches and i crashed against the walker i got my dad
lilgynt · 9 months
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still sobbing my eyes so never having a weed free night again
#personal#my door got caught on my laundry basket and crutches and i crashed against the walker i got my dad#and i want to yell at my brother how awful he is - which? either of them but mainly the broken door one#but i’ve done that and it doesn’t change anything let alone how i feel#and i wish my mom understood but she just hates me#and she can say she doesn’t and she buys me gifts but then hangs it over my head bc we’re broke#but it’s like i’m in the wrong for my brother violently breaking my door and then is upset i’m upset he still hasn’t fixed it#and this only came up bc she bought me a door accessory. BUT WOULDNT LET ME BUY A DOOR WHEN IT Orginally broke#like life is fine and all till i’m sober and remember my family is actually doesn’t like me and is super mean to me#and i feel like i’m so burnt out from everything i can’t even think about moving out#even tho i said fuck it that one time a few months ago#and i can’t move in with either of my brothers bc they’ve deeply hurt me and i can’t trust them like that#like do i think i would be safe with them and they would house me yes without question#do i think i would sooner kill myself over the pride issue of them constantly treating me like shit i can’t imagine living with#or being thankful to them while still feeling like#i don’t even know what i feel other than not liked or respected by my family#i know it’s lack of weed period and then just also generally living a bad life and having bad family relations but oh my god#gun to the back of my head rn please. please.#but in all seriousness first night i’ve been like huh. i could definitely buy a gun. really bad since the whole dad situation#like other night i punched a mirror when i got charged from my dentist from something two years ago with no warning. no notice#like 200 bucks. so. i already dealt with that it’s some insurance shit im seeing if i can do payments or whatever but never fucking working#with them again. didn’t even answer my question on why i wasn’t given any notices when i had them send me the bill and insurance claims
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jackscrutchie · 7 years
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Wait so for the fictional kids thingy are you taking requests? If so could you do #2? :0
2. moving around while kissing knocking over boxes and pushing against walls and onto beds stumbling over things
Oh boy. Also watch for Jack being irresponsible and leaving Crutchie’s crutches outside. The heathen.
How many dates had they been on now?
The first one was simple – Coffee and a movie. They talked about themselves a little. Talked about their majors and their goals. Jack made him laugh and the movie made them both cry. They walked back to their apartment complex together, comfortable and relaxed. Before walking up the very stairs he had fallen down a week before, Jack brushed his hand against Crutchie’s cheek. Crutchie remembered how he felt in that moment. He remembered how his stomach twisted and how his heart constricted. He almost fell into his apartment when he opened the door, watching Jack walk up to his own apartment. Jack called him five minutes later.
The second date was dinner. Nothing fancy. It was some burger place – Not special enough for him to remember. What he did remember was the way Jack stumbled over his words when he was obviously trying to flirt. The way Jack rubbed the back of his neck when he was complimented. The way he bit his lip when he got lost in thought or the way he picked at his fingernails without thinking. They went home right after, since homework beaconed them both. Jack walked up the stairs backwards, not wanting to take his eyes off Crutchie just yet. Twenty minutes into his homework, and Jack was calling him on Skype – They left the cameras up while they worked, whispering words of encouragement to each other.
The third lasted all day. They grabbed breakfast at Crutchie’s favorite cafe, and walked to Central Park. They spent the day brushing shoulders and lacing their fingers together for short fleeting moments. They had a picnic for lunch – Sandwiches that Crutchie had prepared for them, apples and bananas to accompany them. Jack brought cookies he said he had gotten from the old woman in the apartment next to his. They napped together in the shade under a tree. Jack treated him to a beautiful dinner – When it was time to part ways, Jack grabbed his hand and pressed his lips gently to Crutchie’s fingers.
The fourth – He wasn’t sure he could consider a date. Crutchie had gone up to sit at Jack’s apartment to watch him paint. It was hypnotic, to watch Jack paint. Each stroke was so precise, so deliberate and had such purpose. Crutchie could watch him for hours. After a while, Jack had begun to sketch Crutchie. He watched as a pencil etched out the lines and curves of his own face. Jack was so concentrated, so lost in his drawing. Crutchie felt his face flush as Jack pressed the pencil to the paper time after time, giving each freckle as much attention as he had given his eyes. Each lash was delicate, each strand of hair – He couldn’t stand it.
“Jack.” He had said – And that was enough. Jack lifted his head, snapping out of his daze. Crutchie waiting a moment, silently begging for permission. Jack smiled, his eyes dropping briefly to his lips, then back to his eyes. Crutchie leaned forward and kissed him for the first time. Jack’s paint stained hand cupped his freckled cheek as he deepened the kiss, the sketchbook slipping off his lap, forgotten. When they pulled apart, Jack laughed.
There was a blue smudge on Crutchie’s face – And by the end of the night, they were both covered in bright colors, their lips pressing against each other’s every time they were close enough to each other. He imagined by now, they were official.
After that night, there were many that they would stay in and watch movies, cuddled up on one of their couches. They spent nights tangled in each other’s arms pressing sweet kisses to one another’s faces. There were nights when Jack would hold Crutchie close, petting his dusty hair as he cried himself to sleep, the pain in his leg unbearable.
There were nights when they slept in their own beds at their own apartments. Those were the restless nights. There were nights when they would bicker, but refuse to sleep or part ways before solving the issue and kissing to make up. Other nights, Crutchie would sit behind Jack as he painted his depression, gently rubbing his back and not saying a word. Knowing that Jack just needed someone there. There were nights Crutchie stayed up all night, holding Jack in his arms and pressing his lips to his hair. Whispering sweet and gentle words to sooth him.
But tonight –
They had gone out – An art museum and star gazing. It was romantic, perfect, beautiful. Their hands never broke apart. Not as they stopped for ice cream – Strawberry for Crutchie, mint chocolate chip for Jack. Not as they were walking back to their apartment and not as they decided it would be better if they slept separately. Crutchie had a huge test the next day and he needed to study. Sleep. No distractions. They didn’t let go as they made themselves stop talking. They didn’t let go when they said goodnight and they didn’t let go when they kissed. It didn’t take long for Crutchie to feel himself slipping –
They let go only because they wrapped their arms around each other, pulling closer. Crutchie let his crutch fall to the ground beside them and Jack pressed deeper into Crutchie’s lips. His fingers laced into Jack’s hair, knocking the baseball cap off of his head. He was seeing colors behind his closed lids, his eyelashes fluttering as the kiss heated. Crutchie’s heart skipped a beat and tongues brushed against lips and his face felt so warm…
Jack’s hands wandered down, resting on Crutchie’s waist, then to his hips. They were getting carried away and Crutchie was pushed lightly against the door to his apartment.
Had he cleaned his bedroom recently?
Their mouths didn’t separate when Jack reached down and fumbled with the doorknob, finally succeeding and pushing the door open. His hands braced Crutchie as they stumbled back and into his darkened apartment, keeping him steady, leaving his crutch outside – Forgotten.
“Jack.” Crutchie pulled his lips away to catch his breath. “I – I have…” But he couldn’t make himself continue. His lips crashed against Jack’s again, hungry. Jack’s lips curled into a smile as he kicked the door shut behind them. They both knew how dark it was inside – They persisted, too distracted by each other to bother with lights or to even open their eyes. Slowly, they made their way backwards, Crutchie letting Jack push him gently in an unknown direction.
Crutchie let his hands move to rest on Jack’s chest, his fingers clinging on to the fabric of his button - up shirt. They were getting carried away – They had been in fairly heated situations before but nothing quite like this. He didn’t know what made him to it. It was impulsive, and the heat on his cheeks only intensified after it but – He pulled on Jack’s button - up, popping the bottom buttons, and pulling it off of his shoulders, discarding it to the side. Jack made a noise, and gripped at Crutchie’s hips, moving him farther back –
“Argh!” Crutchie yipped, stumbling over a laundry basket. Jack caught him and laughed.
“You okay?” Even in the dark, Crutchie could tell his face was flushed, same as his own. He could hear Jack’s breath coming in huffs – He could feel Jack’s heartbeat, faster and faster as he pulled him close again, pressing their bodies together. “I’ve got you.”
“Yeah I – I really,” he spoke quietly, between breaths, “I should clean this place up.” But he silenced himself again, his lips finding Jack’s strong jaw line. Stubble prickled his lips as he pressed them up the square of Jack’s face, then returned to his mouth. The kisses came faster now, more desperate. The taste of strawberries mixed with mint and chocolate played on his taste buds as they stumbled again. They held onto each other tight, Jack’s hip colliding with the desk. Picture frames fell flat, and pencils spilled onto the floor. Crutchie let himself laugh between gasping breaths. “We should –” He sucked in a breath as Jack’s lips found the nape of his neck and–
Crash.
Crutchie gasped and recoiled, grabbing onto Jack’s thin t - shirt. Jack reacted quickly, spinning Crutchie away from the broken glass on the ground. “Don’t move.”
He stayed still, not wanting to risk stepping on anything and – Where was his crutch?
“Where…” Jack’s voice whispered in the dark room – “Lightswi –” Thud. “God dammit! Shit –Damn… Chair.” Light flooded the room and Crutchie squinted his eyes, letting the adjust.
“Well.” He sighed, racking a hand through his dusty blond hair. “Guess that’s what I get, huh?” Crutchie smiled and bent down, cringing as he bit back the ache in his leg. “Poor lamp…” He looked up at Jack, his lips pouting. “I saved it from the thrift store. I gave it a second chance at life and now look at it…”
Jack returned the frown, straightened his shirt and cleared his throat. “Alas poor lamp.” He brought his hand up to cover his heart. “I knew ye well.” He moved carefully towards the fallen warrior, kicking broken glass into a small pile as he walked. “We’ll give him a proper burial in the morning, after your test.”
“My test!” Crutchie’s eyes widened, turning his desperate and panicked gaze towards Jack. “I have to study!”
Jack blinked and laughed. “Then you’ll study. Come ‘ere” Before Crutchie could protest, he had been scooped into Jack’s arms. “I’ll help.”
“What… Exactly is your definition of help, Mr. Kelly?” Crutchie wrapped his arms around his neck, pressing the tip of his nose to Jack’s.
“Hey, now. I mean what I says!” He smiled, rubbing their noses together. “I want to help you study, Charlie Morris. I ain’t ready to say goodnight. Especially now that I’m all…” He paused, kissing his lips once more. “Awake.”
He felt himself melt again and bit his lip. “Only if you promise you ain’t going to distract me.”
“Scout’s honor.” Jack winked, shot him a grin and took the last four, long strides to his bedroom. “I’m going to help you study – And that’s it.”
“That’s it.” Crutchie smiled at him, beaming, his face flushed, his eyes filled with light.
He passed.
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