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#next part wil include rossi gideon luke and matt
beelmons · 1 year
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BAU guys + Love Languages (Pt1)
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there're 5 main ways in which we show and receive love. These are some head canons on the love languages I think apply to each BAU guys. Are you compatible? My ask is always open if you want to share your thoughts and hcs with me! If you want to find out your love language you can take a free test here!
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Spencer Reid
Giving: Spencer definitely shows love through acts of services. He's the type of partner/friend that will help you with a chore or offer to do it for you. He's a "fixer" even if sometimes he doesn't understand what that means. As a friend, he'll constantly notice if you're struggling with a task and offer a solution. As a romantic partner, he'll always be ontop of your needs, physical and emotional, to make sure that they are being solved.
When communication is not good, he might come across as insensitive, sometimes you just want to vent and be heard. He might seem like he wants to one-up you or show you that he could solve the problem faster, but that's not his intention. He wants you to be well again, as quickly as he can make it happen.
Receiving: Words of affirmation is how he understands you love him. Thanks to his autistic tendencies/neurodivergent coding he has trouble understanding social cues and underlying messages. You have to be forward with him about everything you do, no matter how fast he can pick up on your mood, if you don't tell him what's wrong, he won't be able to tell.
If you're not able to communicate properly, he might feel unwanted and pushed away. Simple expressions such as "you did good" "thank you so much for helping me" "I appreciate your input on my work/issues" can be very fulfilling for him. He needs to be reminded of what he does well so he can continue doing it, even if he himself doesn't verbalize his feelings a lot. Physical touch and quality time are his least present languages.
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Aaron Hotchner
Giving: Hotch mentions time and again how he tries his best to provide both the team and his family his undivided attention. Doesn't this sound just like quality time? His job might take him away for weeks at a time, sure, but it's his whole and complete intention to give you every second he has destined for you without any interruptions.
Because of the line of duty, this can be complicated, sometimes making you feel as if you come last. Even when his love language is in conflict with his line of work, once he's not working, it's all about you and his loved ones. Listening to hours of your rambling, not even looking at his phone (if it's not an emergency), watching an entire movie without falling asleep. When you're with him, he's there, he's present in every way.
His guilt and regret from being away can sometimes add a bit of gift giving to the love language, but even if he shows up with a bouqué of flowers, remember that's only a token, he's there for you and nothing but you.
Receiving: In the same way he makes all the effort to be there, he expects you to be there with him. If you start looking at your phone or pioritizing time with others over time with him, he will feel unhappy and unloved, it’s all about the quality time. Receiving gifts and physical touch don't go a very long way with him, so if you are making him feel unloved you will have to find another way to remind him. This doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy cuddles and gifts every now and then.
Words of affirmation can also be a good way to communicate your love for him, but it's only a support language for quality time. Having dinner without looking at the time, doing a puzzle together, cooperating to help Jack with his homework, those are the moments his heart feels the fullest.
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Derek Morgan
Giving: This man will shower you with so many words of affirmation and compliments you might feel like suffocating at times. He will praise you and let you know how adored, cared for, and desired you are. Mix it up with a bit of gift giving, and you've got that attentive boyfriend. Communication is key, because you might run into some trouble if you can't agree exactly on what a praise is. He can run his mouth, and sometimes he says stuff that, even if it's not ill intentioned, might come out as harsh and judgemental.
If you struggle with your self-perception, at times it might feel like he's lying to you or trying to deceive you for an specific purpose. Remind yourself that Derek Morgan is one of the most honest men to ever exist, and he would never say a word he didn't mean (as long as he isn't angry!).
Receiving: This PDA king needs his share of lovin', physical touch is how you can remind him he's the man of your dreams. Holding his hand, touching his shoulder, kissing him in public. He loves being displayed as your man, he loves feeling the electricity generated by your skin when it touches his. If you struggle with physical touch, he might come to think you don't desire him. You'd have to be open about your feelings towards the gestures, and come up with some rules, maybe you don't initiate the contact but try your best to not reject them.
During intimate times, it's very relevant that you initiate contact every once in a while, otherwise he might feel the relationship is one-sided. If you're unable to provide the touch he needs, at least make sure you give him quality time, when you're with him, it should only be about the two of you. This is only a supplement, but it will remind him of your care for him. The least understanble love languages for this man are acts of service and receiving gifts. He can do and buy things for himself, thank you very much.
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