#nieyao's communication is bad because they're going 'i CAN'T figure you out and so there's no point in trying'

[lgbtlunaverse]

I cannot stress enough how MINOR of a petpeeve this is and how this is an interpretation that i'm comfortable with other people having even if i personally do not but I've noticed in a lot of 3zun fics, if jgy is holding smth back- generally his own feelings because his natural reaction to conflict is to make it Go Away and so if his emotional needs are the potential source conflict he will simply Not Look At Them.- That between nielan Xichen is the one who's worried and presses for comunication and Mingjue is like "Meng Yao is an adult if there was a problem he'd say so."

And I get why this is done, because nieyao's communication is generally atrocious and Xichen is the Gentle One who'd want to make sure a-yao is okay. So I get it. But. Canonically. The person going "I know a-yao, we trust each other, I don't need to ask him, he'll tell me on his own terms." is Lan Xichen and the one going "If Meng Yao doesn't want me to know something he WILL hide it from me and i'll have no idea because he's just that good at lying" is Nie Mingjue. And in a healthier nieyao dynamic, as these fics work under, that knowledge would not lead to automatic distrust but rather a desire to check in, to go: please remember that I value your honesty more than whatever you think you would burden me with by telling me what's going on.

Xichen also wants honesty and open communication ofc but his reaction to conflict is also to make it go away as fast as possible and he feels like saying it constantly feels accusatory so he wouldn't. If he asks if something is ok and a-yao smiles and goes of course er-ge checking again if it's really okay would be implying he was lying the first time!! He's showing his trust in him!! This is really refreshing if you're constantly assumed to be untrustworthy and meng yao appreciates it so much and it works really well 95% of the time but when it doesn't? Oh boy.

#examples of where that goes wrong *points at canon* #mdzs #3zun #nie mingjue #lan xichen #meng yao #jin guangyao #nieyao's communication is bad because they're going 'i CAN'T figure you out and so there's no point in trying' #and not because they think they understand the other perfectly #that's xiyao #who fall into this trap because they DO actually know each other better than almost everyone else #and so are completely blind to the few things they don't get about e/o #nielan can also do this #but it's more complicated cause i feel like they consciously DECIDE not to know each other sometimes #because they hold responsibilities to other people they must prioritize over each other. like so much canon nielan is wrapped up in duty #but idk exactly how that would translate if they did make the conscious decision to prioritize their relationship #and this post is about the yao-corner of the triangle and how they both interact with him so. will reserve those thoughts for another time