#no one can stop tractor dan

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 19 - USA

More mild shock because it’s a race I did remember to watch C4 highlights of!!

Granted, the bulk of my memories around this race were Lewis nearly winning, Seb leading for one (1) lap and Seb and Kevin’s INSANE last lap battle for P8.

Oh and once again everyone wore cowboy hats because Texas

So, grab your team coloured Stetsons and let’s jump in!

I think this race was good?? I mean I hope it is

I actually like COTA as a track, it’s pretty decent (and the best of all the current USA tracks by a mile imho)

(yes I’m saying that despite us being months away from Vegas bc what is the Vegas layout 😭)

Anyway, starting grid whiplash:

“Lots of drivers out of position thanks to penalties” 2015 McLaren Honda flashbacks

ouch Dan P15 & Charles P12.

BUT SEB TOP 10 YEAAAAAAAH BOI

LANCE P5!!!!!!! LEWIS P3!!!!!! INJECT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

I love it when the starting grid whiplash is actually nice

“This race could be anyone’s today” Really Crofty??? Really??? When the RB18 exists???

Helmet watch: Lewis’ neon yellow helmet with the purple visor >>>>>>

They had to change Lewis’ brakes before the start???? I really will be taking a sledgehammer to the W13 when I’m finished re-watching 2022

[Start/Lap 1]: Oh... a Merc murdered Sainz at turn 1

or not he’s gotten going he’s just at the back

oh it was Russell erguhaii

The saga of George Russell’s violence against the grid continues

anyway SEB UP INTO P5!!!!!!!!!

THAT’S! MY! BOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!!!!!

[Lap 2]: aaaaaaand Sainz DNF. 

Charles up to P9

LANCE IS IN P3??????

STOP THE RACE

TEAM GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN 💚💚💚💚💚💚

[Lap 3]: and 5 sec penalty for Russell t-boning Sainz

Meanwhile Albon has no grip, and has dropped to P10 from P8 and has Bottas all up in his business

“The Aston Martin is working well around here” Inject it, frame it, capture it, remember it

the AMR22 is a tractor no more!!!!

“Lightning reactions from Lewis Hamilton” Of course??? He’s a king, tell us something we don’t know

[Lap 5]: No George, don’t overtake Lance. That would be rude.

also boo Perez got past Seb

welp Lance demoted to P4

“Howdy Crofty!” HI TED!!!! 👋

[Lap 6]: aw no Nicky spun 😔

oh Perez’s front wing is not looking healthy, front wing endplate went poof

(Alexa play I Want to Break Free by Queen)

[Lap 7]: Meanwhile Lance and Seb are vibing in P5 and P6 as the unbothered Kings they are 💚

....Lewis is three tenths faster than Verstappen you say???

please tell me we get a Hammertime radio it has been SO LONG

[Lap 8]: I’m ignoring the Ferrari radio that came up telling Charles they’re already thinking about Plan B :))))))))

Perez v Russell... I fear much violence

[Lap 9]: Charles up to P7, the race seems to have calmed down for now

I may cry at the Seb and Charles battle though, I miss them 😭

[Lap 10]: and the gap is down to 8 tenths, @ TV director show me my boys!!!

It’s also seemingly fucking WIMDY at COTA

[Lap 11]: oh the #JustLewisThings of him saying he’s not happy with his tyres then proceeding to set a purple sector, nature is healing

ahhhhhhh there’s Charles v Seb!!!!

The fact that this would have caused me pain in 19 & 20 but now we’re rejoicing. Growth!!

[Lap 12]: Gasly pits, after Bottas pitted the lap before, overcut win!

and back to Charles v Seb

and Charles gets past pretty easily

HAMMERTIME RADIO!!!! IT’S BEEN 84 YEARS!!!!

Bono I’m sending you a basket of the finest pastries AND flowers

[Lap 13]: Lewis pits for hards??? I’m still recovering from the radio message so I’m not fully processing what’s going on

aw Lewis came out behind Seb after pitting

[Lap 14]: Verstappen and Russell pit, also both for hards

oh my days Lance trying to fight him GO ON MY SON

anyway this is a very early pit window, I can only assume it was a bit warm on race day

Charles up into P3, but he’s yet to stop

[Lap 15]: Perez pits for hards also

LANCE P3!!! SEB P4!!!! STOP! THE! RACE!

“Aston Martin running in the top 3 for the first time this season” *longest yeah boi ever*

[Lap 16]: And Lance pits for... mediums

And Lewis got past Seb for P3

and sets the fastest first sector. 

Esteban and Mick having a slightly spicy battle, mainly bc Esteban’s car got caught by some wind

[Lap 17]: “Plan E consider” p a i n 

I mean at least it came from Charles but Ferrari kindly fuck off

[Lap 18]: Yellow flag sector 3????

oh Bottas is beached in the gravel

OH shit Safety Car

ah AM Safety Car my beloved

Will Ferrari be smart and pit Charles under the SC??

[Lap 19]: THEY DO!!! They found their braincell!!!

“Plan EEEEEEE this is lucky for us!” I love Ted so much

oh Seb pits too!! nice!!

Charles in P4, Seb in P6. WE’RE VIBING FOLKS!!!

oh replay of the George on Sainz violence at the start again

[Lap 20]: First SC at Austin since 2015 apparently, a somewhat fun fact (That was a half wet race iirc??? I’m not sure)

fuck what is this drone footage I’m getting vertigo

Lewis still having brake issues, I will sledgehammer the W13 and then burn it

[Lap 21]: SC ending, boys please don’t be dumb I don’t want any carnage

Lewis the filling in a RBR sandwich... does NOT spark joy

phew no nonsense as of yet

[Lap 22]: SEB TAKES P6!!!!

And Esteban locks up and Mick takes P12 

OH SHIT FERNANDO

AND LANCE

NOOOOOO

that was not the fun whiplash fyi

And of course Crofty mentions the fact that we had future teammate on teammate violence

[Lap 23]: Also I’m sorry but Lance’s car is on the track and there’s debris everywhere, where is the red flag?????

...

Not Fernando hitting Lance’s rear and then doing a wheelie

F1 CARS SHOULDN’T DO THAT

that really did not spark joy

the various on-board replays of debris flying everywhere are also not sparking joy

[Lap 24]: This race has been surprisingly eventful despite not having that much actual racing oh my days

Lance walking alone through the paddock... Alonso you can meet my fists

[Lap 25]: SC ending, again boys please DON’T BE DUMB

I am anxious

restart 2 electric boogaloo - so far no carnage

[Lap 26]: “Sebastian Vettel gaining on George Russell” screaming, crying clutching my chest in euphoria

oh he is legit closing up on him 

go on Seb, get him!!!

[Lap 27]: 8 tenths of a second gap 👀👀👀

okay the gap is fluctuating between 8 tenths and 1.1 seconds but I’m on full hopium and delusion

[Lap 28]: DRS re-enabled

Nicky fastest on the speed trap. Goatifi intensifies.

also I heard Ted say news from McLaren and I immediately had the ‘McLaren news’ jingle from The Fast and The Curious podcast play in my head thanks Chris Hugill 

[Lap 29]: Seb now 2.2 seconds behind Russell, the hopium was fun while it lasted

Charles v Perez???? 👀👀👀👀👀

[Lap 30]: CHARLES WITH THE LUNGE TAKES P3!!!!

woot woooooooot!!!!

“And there’s a lot of fans here that will want to kiss Charles for that” yes and I’m one of them get in line

[Lap 32]: Meanwhile George still has a loose endplate on his front wing after his lap 1 violence

[Lap 33]: Verstappen apparently not very happy with the wind

Oh, Mick and Kevin both in the Top 10!!!! We adore to see it!!!

[Lap 34]: Why are we cutting to Ed Sheeran???? Show me the cars!!!

Mick and Yuki both pit

[Lap 35]: and Lewis pits, undercut maybe??

oh and Yuki’s undercut did work on passing Norris

[Lap 36]: Verstappen pits

and it’s slow 👀

LEWIS TAKES THE NET RACE LEAD

😭🙌

More Perez on Russell fisticuffs

[Lap 37]: ah nvm Russell pits

[Lap 38]: Charles v Verstappen... spicy

both of them are on the mediums while Lewis is on the hards

[Lap 39]: Perez pits

AND SEB TAKES THE LEAD!!!!!

STOP! THE! RACE!!!!

Oh Charles doing the switcheroo on Verstappen, BEAUTIFUL

AND Seb P1, with Lewis P2. I know the end result and I do not care but STOP THE RACE!!

Seb leading his 3,500th lap, I love him so much 😭😭😭😭

[Lap 40]: Cut to Seb in the lead with Lewis P2, feels so good and SO organic

[Lap 41]: Lewis takes the lead, not surprising, but seeing them on track together one last time was very beautiful

and diving head first into the sea of delusion we go Lewis is def gonna win right? 🥲

this race has legit been so fun though

“Good to see Sebastian Vettel up there” preach it Ted!!!!!

[Lap 42]: 15 laps left. yelling.

slow stop for Seb 😭😭😭😭😭😭

16.8 seconds 😭

It’s okay Team Green I still love you

[Lap 43]: no don’t go back to the drone cam it’s not fun

Charles still in DRS range of Verstappen

[Lap 44]: But Verstappen goes half a second quicker than Lewis...

welp

[Lap 45]: Perez going 1.5 secs quicker with a borked front wing??? What is going on in the House of Commons????

Seb watch: in P13 1.6 seconds behind Yuki

Norris v Ocon!!! Beloved midfield spice!!!!

[Lap 46]: Lewis and Verstappen doing almost identical lap times on similar age of tyres, though on different compounds. STRESS.

[Lap 47]: 10 laps left 😬

Gap just under two seconds, love how I’m slightly stressed despite knowing the end podium 😂

It’s the ✨ emotional investment ✨

[Lap 48]: Now would be a great time for another Hammertime radio Bono just saying

SEB ONBOARD

He’s in P12 after Ocon pitted

He’s on the back of a DRS train on fresher tyres LET’S GET IT WELTMEISTER!!!

[Lap 49]: Alonso’s mirror just... fell off????

alrighty then

ughhhhhh Verstappen has DRS

I am stressed Angela and stressed Angela is me

[Lap 50]: Thank you Brundle I really needed you to list all of Verstappen’s car advantages 😭

But more importantly SEB INTO P10 KLAXON!!!!!

...

fuck me I did not breathe during Lewis’ and Verstappen’s battle

Lewis did not give up though and I love him for it

[Lap 52]: SEB INTO P9!!!!!!

and back down to P10, he’s having some fistcuffs with Albon

and round the outside, back into the points, that’s my 4 time world champion

6.3 secs behind Kevin with 4 laps left

It’s fun knowing what happens in advance sometimes

ohhh Seb let Albon back by bc he went off, that’s fair

[Lap 53]: Verstappen assigned track limits criminal by GP, Bono, and Lewis

and then Lewis gets a warning himself svuoheaugh

boys

[Lap 54]: The one positive is that the RBR has not streaked off into the distance, the W13 has some rights.

I mean I’m still going to take a sledgehammer to it though

[Lap 55]: Seb watch: 3.2 seconds behind Kevin now

oh and already down to 2 seconds 👀

gap between Lewis and Max is three seconds though 😭

[Lap 56]: Ignoring the front and watching Seb on the running order, gap down to 1.5 seconds

...now 8 tenths of a second

(I know the overtake is coming but the hype is fun)

[Finish]: Verstappen wins, Lewis P2 and Charles P3!!!

now show me Seb!!!!!

THERE HE IS!!!!!!

go on go on go onnnnn

AND DOWN THE INSIDE HE GOES!!!!!

SEB P8!!!!!!!! THAT’S!!! MY!!!!  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elmowithfire.gif

such a peach of a move like... Go off King you dropped this 👑

gonna celebrate with the biscoff ice cream mum just brought me 🥳

Well, that was actually a pretty fun race!!! You didn’t really know who was going to win until the last few laps, which could not be said for a lot of races in 2022 imho. Charles going from P12 to P3 was iconic af, Lewis making the most of his first proper chance in ages for a win was superb, and Seb was just doing iconic Seb shit... AND we got some midfield spice to boot!!

Overall, 8 front wings out of 10. Next race: Mexico!

#F1 Re watch #F1 2022 re watch #F1 Liveblog #US GP edition

[the-firebird69]

He follows him around all day long he needs to be shot dead all the time and burned see who pops up.

I'm suggested we do that because this is such a nuisance who takes his place is going to be interesting and why. I've had enough for the whole gang but this guy is ridiculous, he shows up everywhere and every time he's going that online or on the team or he goes on TV this a****** has his face and like up there four or five times. It's getting ridiculous so you can't even escape the guy for a minute it's like right there being a dick the last night we told him not to do stuff like a million times and did not comply we have to hit him five times he died he's stupid this morning wakes up and starts screwing up stuff Terry has to help since when am I even doing here if I can't do this and demands her son says something. Who the hell is threatening for what here you're going to have any people left at all what is he doing it for so he sits there with him and says it's not going so well between you and I nobody likes you no one wants you here I have to find somewhere else to go because you're going to just die all the time you're being so mean to everybody including me there's no point in being near you and no one wants you near him. He looks directly at him and says you're the ones hitting me. He looks back and says you have me doing it. Since no I don't you just keep doing it I said the other one doing it. So they arguably like for 20 minutes like that and finally a****** goes out and smokes a cigarette says he can't tell her that smell is and then he says it's wrong this has I'm sitting here doing nothing and then he says explaining stuff I'm doing this to do this and not to do this I won't have an army to do s*** with those back inside and says we're the wrong place we're still here doing nothing and Terry cheesman says thank you so I'm trying to get ready to go off find Tommy f.

Dan is up to he's going to go check and PGA and the spouse we're all getting ready to go find the guy it's had a hard way down there he's got spaceships it's taking their stuff their supplies it's taking over their Island is attacking Australia every day and serve gassing them yesterday. There's more to it but tons of them are going to go after him

We picked up tons of stuff for the Midwest tons of stuff huge loads of corn it was still good huge loads of wheat that was still good and it was harvested two weeks ago and we were happy giant giant loads okay those are big enough to feed America for a couple weeks. We also encountered something we didn't think we would decide we didn't think it was that much yeah we do is a lot ingut. Tons and tons and tons of it... I'll get you a Chrysler come over for f*** sake... So Trump is certain terrorism for to buy sedans no not the Sudan, Jason ,sedans. There's a lot of it there and if everything you can imagine like this saving it up to take it away and they were oops and we took it to our place tons of it okay isn't enough steel to build all of New York City and the new part so we're building stuff and things like components for airplanes engines for cars and things like that require nice new steel there's a few other things that were doing and yeah we have to recook it. We went and got all the automobiles out and bikes and motorcycles trucks and tractors and heavy equipment it was a whole whole ton of that it's non-stop okay just so much of it. I pulled it out and there's always more and it went on for a long time we even have boats huge numbers of boats actually made those in a very some of them very nice they're donzi and gravy white and Boston whaler very nice boats all the hulls were there and we're taking them all out. And there's other things like campers a lot of assembled goods appliances huge numbers of appliances and the upper Midwest is yet to empty completely it's still about $50,000 octillion but the Midwest is empty and we checked and we're looking at all the areas of bunkers and Harley-Davidson had 100,000 octillions and that's coming out today we should make our first shipment of at least $20,000 I'll tell you to within the United States they'll be raised and thankful that said too first shipping out of the 100,000. Once we hit the upper Midwest area and we will shortly it is a bunch of people left up there. We will find probably a million Harley-Davidsons and people are waiting for that that's a lot of motorcycles frankly that's more motorcycles than any people ride but I'll probably be wrong it's a huge number. So what things happened some more happened and The fleets have arrived and they have been there for about an hour and it's starting to creep and his big groups are sending an infiltrators and to the lines and they're not making it even in the upper Midwest they made it worse you're not getting up there at all and they are taking a lot of time messing around with people and not make it the more I can try to get them in and can't get out of the way so it's a fight it's a big one and it's not working for them The fleets are still moving in they're at 800 miles and they are being warned and threatened and harassed. It's a fairly big Force on land it's about 900,000 octillion if I see is $300,000 octillion about 1.3% of the population right now if they lose these people they'll be at 1% of the general populace including everybody that's pretty poor. VGA instructing them to try and get in here. And we're going to publish

Thor Freya

Olympus

[zuliashopee]

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[go-ahead-and-whump]

Blondie

Chapter 5

This one is a little bit short and ends pretty abruptly. I have one chapter that is: A N G S T Y that has been sitting in my back pocket since I started the story. I think it will be up next. Then I’m writing something a little more light hearted. 

It’s dark when they reach Portland. 

They never actually reach Portland. Dan stops just outside of what most people would consider to be the city and drops off the trailer. He signs a few papers, unhitches the trailer from the tractor, and they take off. Blondie can’t help but feel a strange sense of sadness when they pull away from the loading dock, leaving the remaining oranges that had traveled with them all the way from Miami. 

According to Dan, they have some time before they need to pick up the next load, so they get some supper. Their only option is a Red Robin’s with a “pet friendly” sign in the window. Neither Blondie or Dan complain, and they both take full advantage of the bottomless fries that come with their burgers. When they leave, they are stuffed beyond comfort and Blondie is ready for bed, but he stays up. He doesn’t like to make Dan drive alone at night, even though Dan has told him he doesn’t mind whenever Blondie wants to go into the back and lie down. 

They pull up to a lumberyard at 9:30 pm. The lights in the warehouse are still on when Dan backs the tractor up to the loading dock. This time he’s hooking up a flatbed which has been loaded with long beams of wood. When Blondie rolls his window down he doesn’t smell the sweetness of oranges anymore, but instead, the spice of cedar and hickory. 

After everything is hooked up properly, which Dan checks over three times, they drive for about 30 minutes until they reach the nearest rest stop. It’s 10:25 pm. 

Dan rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms and sighs. 

“Hand me the box of cigarettes, will you...” He asks.

“Where?” 

“Should be in the glove box.” 

Blondie has never opened the glove box. He’s thought about it, but that would be snooping. He knows his master wouldn’t really mind, probably, but it’s still rude. 

Sure enough, when he opens the glove compartment, a box of Marlboro lites and a bic lighter nearly come falling onto the floor. He catches them just in time and hands them over. Dan thanks him and smacks the box against his thigh a couple of times before opening the driver’s side door and hoping out. 

“You can come out here, Blondie.” Dan calls to him because he knows the kid won’t come out unless he’s given express permission. “Stretch your legs.” 

They’ve both been sitting so long that it hurts to finally stand but it feels amazing at the same time. Blondie stretches his back until he hears one or two cracks and shuffles around to Dan’s side. A cigarette is already hanging from his master’s lips, and the familiar smell of smoke wafts through the air to him. He can taste it. 

“Sorry.” Dan says, taking another puff. He inhales slowly and leans back against the side of the tractor. The smoke is lifted away by the breeze in the opposite direction from Blondie. “I’ve cut back. Limit myself to one or two a week, but sometimes I just need one.” 

Blondie nods.  

“I used to smoke like a chimney. It got bad, and then my dad got lung cancer and I decided emphysema didn’t sound like too much fun, so I’ve been slowly weaning myself off for the past two years.”

“I’m sorry.... about your dad.” Blondie mutters. 

A glowing flake of ash falls from the end of the cigarette. Blondie watches it as it flutters down to earth, but it burns out before he can see where it lands. 

Dan shrugs. “We all knew it was coming. The man smoked a pack a day for the better part of 64 years. It was a matter of time.” 

A group of rowdy looking teenagers come tumbling out of the truck stop with two cases of beer, and Dan remembers the first time he and his friends bought alcohol for a party with their fake IDs. His lips twitch up in a half smile. His name on the card had been Warren Olsen from Hartford, Vermont. He chuckles thinking of himself and his buddies hopping from bar to bar, thinking they were hot shit, fooling everyone with their fake ID’s. In reality, they weren’t fooling anyone in Red Wing, Minnesota with their Vermont state ID’s, but it was 2008 and no one really gave a shit about four high school boys trying to sneak into bars.

Dan asks, “Do you like beer, Blondie?”

Blondie watches the group of kids as he considers his answer. “I like champagne.” 

It’s a simple and honest answer, and frankly Dan wasn’t expecting any response at all. He chuckles. “When have you ever been around champagne enough to know that you like it?”

From the dim light of the rest area, Dan can see the faintest of smile grace Blondie’s lips. It’s shy and bashful, and it nearly sends Dan over the moon.

“Nana used to make mimosas, and every once in a while she’d give me a sip of her champagne.” He says. 

Dan raises an eyebrow and takes another long drag from his cigarette, then flicks the ashes off of the end. “Unfortunately, your taste in alcohol might be a bit out of reach for my wallet. I can maybe afford a hard seltzer or some sparkling grape juice. I’ll let you pick.” 

And at that, Blondie giggles. He actually laughs. 

Dan thinks he’s probably just so tired from staying up so late. They’ve grown accustomed to Dan’s work schedule: wake up before dawn, drive for 11 hours until the sun is starting to set, and be in bed by 8:00. Either way, he feels a weight lifted from his shoulders when he feels Blondie relax a little. 

The sound of gravel crunching alerts them to a figure passing between trailers. It’s a large man, much older than Dan with a grey and wiry beard that is tied in two braids. He’s wearing a camouflage sweatshirt and a pair of very heavily worn blue jeans that are frayed near his boots. The glasses on the tip of his nose and the brim of his hat shield his eyes, but Blondie can feel his eyes on him. 

It’s nothing out of the ordinary. He’s just a man headed towards the rest stop, probably to use the shower or bathroom. Maybe to get a late night meal. Blondie tries not to pay much attention as he walks past. It would be rude of him to stare. 

But unlike Blondie, Dan is locked on the man like a target. He keeps his head down and his eyes up, pinching the half burned cigarette between his lips, never taking his eyes off of the man. They’re dead locked in a stare as he passes by and slows down ever so slightly. 

“No need to look so hard, pal.” The man says with a chuckle and though his voice carries no malice, there is an underlying challenge in his tone. Dan remains silent, still staring, and flicks the ashes off of the end of his smoke. “Looky there. You're a pretty one aren’t you?”

Blondie blushes when he realizes that the man is talking to him. He looks up and sees a grin but the dim light still makes it hard for him to see any other defining features of the man’s face. 

“I‘ll bet you’re a good little pet too, huh? You’re a good boy, aren't ya?”

Good boy? Blondie can’t help but perk up. I’m a good boy? 

“Keep movin.” Dan’s voice cuts in smoothly, but there is a concealed edge to it. A warning. The man says nothing. He nods and chuckles like maybe he’s the one that won this round, and Blondie feels his heart plummet down into his stomach. He was mistaken. He was not a good boy. In fact, reacting to another person’s praise that is not his master’s is a deeply punishable act. 

He has been bad. 

You shouldn’t have even looked at him. Should have stayed in the truck. Should have kept your head low and ignored him as he walked by. Now Dan probably thinks you’re weird. You are weird. It’s weird to react like that to strangers. You probably look like you’d run off with anyone who gives you attention. You probably would. Fucking pathetic. You really thought someone was calling you a good pet? You think you deserve to be called a good boy? What a joke, you sorry little piece of--

“Blondie.” 

The mean little voice slithers back behind his brain and Blondie looks up at Dan.  

“What’s with the face? You alright there? You look like you’re thinking too hard.” 

“I-I’m...sorry…” He croaks, face down. He’s not really sure of what he’s saying. Not really sure if he should be speaking at all. It would probably be better if he just shut up, but he keeps going. “Sorry if I...did something wrong.” 

Dan doesn’t appear angry, but the way he shut the other man down after calling Blondie a good boy was enough to make him feel dejected. It’s pathetic to be so excitable from such simple praise. He feels like a dog. But a dog wouldn’t know any better. Blondie has no excuse. 

“What is it that you think you did wrong?”

Blondie shrugs. He really doesn’t want to explain things to his master, that all he really wants is to be a good boy and make his master happy. He doesn’t want to explain that that simple thing is all he ever thinks about. “It’s just that...you seemed...upset...when that man said I was...a good pet. Am….am I not being good? I’m sorry if I’m not, I-I can—“

“Hold it.” His master takes a tone he rarely ever uses with Blondie. It’s authoritative and commanding, the kind of voice a master usually uses when addressing their pet, like when telling a dog to sit or stop barking. It’s an order, and Blondie feels himself turn rigid when he sees the cigarette pinched between Dan’s fingers. It’s nearly gone—smoked down to a tiny like stub, but the end is still hot—still perfect for burning a naughty pet. The ash could still stick to his skin and fester if it wanted too. He had spoken out of turn. He had rambled on too long. 

It seems strange that he almost craves a punishment. He knows better than to believe that Dan won’t lose his cool. If he can get the first one done with, then he can learn. If Dan would just show him…

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” 

The smoldering end of the cigarette flares once again as Dan takes one final, long drag of the smoke before tossing the butt into the dirt. With a twist of the heel of his boot, the end is snuffed out. Blondie wants to whine at the wasted opportunity for his master to finally punish him. He wants to pick it up to see if the end is still hot. Maybe his master could light a new one, a fresh one. He feels Dan grab his chin and twist his face up.

“Listen to me, Blondie.”

Dan hunches over. He leans down so close that their noses are almost touching. Is this it? The moment feels like it’s being suspended over his head. Did he finally snap? His master’s eyes dance back and forth between his own, searching for something, or maybe just observing. His stare alone keeps Blondie in a headlock. He can’t budge.

“Are you listening?”

Of course he is. Blondie nods. 

It takes a few seconds for Dan to believe him. “You didn’t do anything wrong, honey. I was just...put off by that guy, and I didn’t want him commenting on you. He didn’t sit well with me.” He says. The smoke still smells heavy on his breath. “It was nothing you did. I promise.” 

At this point, Blondie can feel frustration boiling in his stomach. It’s unreasonable and makes him feel like a toddler for wanting to pout. Disgust pools in with the frustration. He knows he shouldn’t be mad about not getting his punishment. It’s not normal. It’s wrong. But he hates walking on eggshells and if Dan would only teach him a lesson just once then maybe this annoying hunger for punishment will go away. 

And then Blondie feels a hand running through his hair, smoothing down all of his prickly emotions. It smooths over his back in a circle and comes back up to the roots of his hair only to smooth back down his neck again. Dan places a gentle little kiss on his temple and smiles. “You’re a good boy, Blondie.” He whispers and places another kiss on the top of his head. “Don’t worry. You’re a good boy.” 

It’s as simple as that. 

The world starts to turn fuzzy and soft, and goosebumps crawl over his skin. It feels like stepping into a warm bath. The effects of that tiny little reassurance is all he needed for the harsh edges of the world blur for a moment, and now Blondie can only see Dan who is smiling at him bittersweetly. “You’re a good boy.” He says again, because he knows it’s what he wants to hear and he’d do anything to put a smile he caught a glimpse of back on his face. 

“Good boy.”

Tag list:

@deluxewhump @neuro-whump @inky-whump @faewhump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @looptheloup @whimperwoods @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @oracle-of-maybe @galaxywhump @newandfiguringitout @whumpqhs let me know if I missed anyone!

#blondie fic #dan and blondie #blondie whump #blondie whumpee #pet whump #whumpee and caretaker #whump rehab #trucker whump au #my work #tw: slavery #dehumanising

[marlynnofmany]

Becalmed

674 words of silliness.  Enjoy.

***

Connor tapped buttons on the console and shook his head.  “That’s it for the propulsion,” he said.  “Looks like we’re drifting until further notice.”

“There’s a shipping route close by, right?” Dan wanted to know.  

Emily peered over Connor’s shoulder.  “At least the life support is solid.”  She clapped him on the back.  “Time for drinks!”  With a smile, she disappeared into the hall.

Connor assured Dan that yes, merchant ships would be passing by regularly, and it wouldn’t be long before someone came to help them out.

Emily returned with bottles, straws, and a gleam in her eye.  “No questions,” she announced, passing them out.  “The best games for when you’re becalmed in space are all played in zero gravity.  Zip your pockets and get ready.”

Connor did so with a smile, Dan with a worried look.  Emily dialed down the artificial gravity and lifted off the floor.  

“Now who here wants to bet they can drink a floating ball of whiskey the fastest?” she asked, opening a bottle.  

The competition was fierce.  Emily had the advantage, with the experience of many becalmed adventures on her previous ship, but Connor held his own.  When Dan got over his general nervousness (approximately three shots in), he proved to be a worthy competitor.  Whiskey splashed clothes and walls.  They managed to keep it away from the control console and the vents, though there were a few close calls.  

“We need music,” Connor said from the ceiling, with the false steadiness of someone who is trying to convince themselves that they’re not drunk.  “Know any good becalmed songs?”

Emily lit up.  “Do I!”  She shoved her bottle into a wall strap and pushed off toward the door.  “I jus’ thought of something!  B’right back!”  It took a couple of tries to leave the room, rebounding off walls in a way that made them all giggle, then she was out in the hallway and the door slid shut.

Dan spun lazily in the air.  “Whaddaya think she’s getting?” he asked.

“Dunno,” Connor said.  “Maybe rum.”

“Ooh, rum.”

But it wasn’t rum that Emily fumbled her way back in with.  It was an accordion.  Small, plastic, and bright red, it was clearly something she’d picked up at the last Earth tech swap station.  

“Time for space shanties!” Emily announced, hooking a leg into a wall strap and positioning her fingers.  “Got any requests?”

Dan tried to stop spinning.  “Can you actually play that?”

Emily grinned.  “Nope!  But that’s never stopped me before!”  The instrument made a musical wheeze.  She took a deep breath.  “OHHH what do you do with a drunken spacer?”

Connor joined in, followed by Dan.  The sounds from the accordion could have been called music, if one was charitable.  Or extremely drunk.  

They had gone through many songs about sailing and drinking, and had wandered into lowbrow humor from their childhoods, when the console chimed with an approaching ship.

“Oh hey!” Connor said.  He pulled himself hand over hand over to the controls.  “Hello out there!”

A viewscreen blinked to life with the face of a serious-looking bug alien whose race none of the humans could remember the name of.  “Greetings,” the alien said.  “Do you require assistance?”

“Yes please,” Connor said, drifting upside down in the viewing field.  “Wouldjoo mind towing us t’ the nearest station?  We’re stuck.”

Dan floated past.  “And drunk!”

Emily giggled in the background.  “And drunk,” she agreed, wheezing the accordion.  

The alien conferred briefly with another, then agreed to give them a tow.  The transmission shut off.  A different sensor beeped as a tractor beam locked on.  The three humans cheered as the ship began moving toward civilization.

“We should prob’ly turn the gravity back on,” Connor said, doing his best to sit in a chair.

Emily waved a hand.  “Pssht.  We got time.”

Dan stood on his head and poked at the floor.  “They probably think we’re weird.”

Emily grinned.  “They would be right.”  She launched into another song on the accordion, and the others joined in.  

#space shanties #sea shanties #in spaaace #accordion #humans are weird #humans are confusing #humans are space orcs #drinking songs #my writing #flash fiction #short stories

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

If you knew how lonely my life has been - Part 2

Not entirely happy with it but I’ve stared at it long enough. If it seems all a bit vague right now, I promise it won’t soon! Hopefully canon and spoilers will allow me to get the next part done nice and quick ;)

To this day he can’t tell you what he said or did when Cain told him. It’s like a fog, he knows what Cain said, he can remember the words like they were yesterday but after that there’s nothing, just feather like memories that he can’t grab hold of.

“There was an accident, up at the factory. He didn’t stand a chance.”

He remembers being at the pub, Cain must’ve taken him there, can remember his Mum fussing but that’s it. He didn’t feel anything except numbness. Even when it came to telling Liv he’d said the words, he’d held her as she’d cried but still nothing.

It would come later, the tears, the crushing feeling of loss would surround him and not leave for months. He’d probably feel ashamed of how he acted in those months, if he’d cared what anyone thought.

None of it mattered. Why would it without Robert? No one understood how he felt about him, how it felt to not have him there every night, to lie next to him in bed, making him feel safe. How it felt to wake up next to him, watching him sleep. They had no idea, expected him to just bounce back after their pre-prescribed mourning period.

He couldn’t do that because that would mean letting Robert go and he would never be ready to do that. No one had any idea what the two of them had.

He’s promised his Mum he’d go for lunch in the pub, she’d been asking for what felt like weeks and he’d run out of excuses. He locks the scrapyard, staring around as he leaves, the place full of memories. They’re more comforting than he’d ever thought they might be.

The village has moved on, hardly anyone mentions him any more, they’ve stopped looking at Aaron with that sad eyed stare. Now they just act like everything is normal. He doesn’t know which is worse.

There’s a police car out the front of the pub as he walks up. Once upon a time he’d had a flicker of hope any time he saw them in the village, the possibility that there’d been a mistake and it hadn’t been Robert in the building. It never was, and now he didn’t even look twice.

The pub is full of noise, clearly something has gone on. Pearl is at the window peering out, Eric is by the bar watching her, the rest of the punters pretending they’re not interested but he knows they’re tuned into every word.

“Charity, is Mum in the back?” He gets no more than a nod and he makes his way through the back. He’s not in the mood for another round of his Mum’s attempts at getting him to move on. Hopefully she’s preoccupied by whatever is going on.

“Mum?”

“Hiya love. Sit down, lunch is nearly ready.”

“I’m really not hungry.”

“Tough, you’ll eat it. You’re not taking care of yourself.”

“I’m fine! I don’t need you naggin’ me.”

“I’m your mother. Love, it’s been five years…more than that now. Do you think he’d want this?”

“Well he’s not here is he? He left me so he doesn’t get a say!” He pushes the plate away, crashing it into the bottle of beer she’d placed beside it, tipping it over. The beer dripping it’s way off the table onto the floor catches his eye. Robert’s favourite. “I…”

He has to get out, brushes away her arm and ignores her concerned gaze as he gets up. He can hear her calling out as he rushes out the back door, collapsing back against the rough brick of the pub, barely able to drag in enough air to his lungs.

“Aaron! Oh love. Come on, deep breaths hmm? With me yeah?” He can feel himself calming down, it’s easier to breathe and he can focus on her looking at him with concern. “There. Better?” He nods, but he isn’t really. “Come back inside, just for a bit.”

“No, I’m just going to go home.”

He’s surprised she lets him go but he’s not going to question it. The police car is still there when he gets round the front and now there’s a huddle of people round it.

“Jimmy! What’s goin’ on?”

“Al, been arrested by the looks of it. Don’t know what for though. Nico’ll be sorry she missed this.” He looks over, sees Ellis’s Dad being led away. He’s never had much to do with him. He’d seen him up at the yard a couple of times but he’d never spoken to him. Wasn’t much better than Joe Tate, lording it over everyone, trying to interfere in their businesses. Not any longer by the looks of it.

He locks eyes with him as they put him into the police car and he shivers. He has no idea why, he hardly knows him, but the way he looked at him made him want to get as far away as he could.

“Aren’t you stopping?” Jimmy asks as he walks away.

“None of my business is it?”

The fuss dies down, another bit of gossip gets talked about soon enough but everything just carries on the same for him, day after day.

He trudges home from the scrapyard a week later, another night in front of the TV to look forward to. He knew he should maybe go out, try and enjoy himself but even the thought of it made him feel like he was betraying Robert. His Mum had been right the other day, Robert wouldn’t want this for him. He’d even told him as much, one night not long after they got back together. They’d been discussing Alex, and he’d told him it hadn’t felt right, moving on. Robert had made him promise that if anything happened then he’d allow himself to have a life. It wasn’t that easy though, not in reality.

He’s barely on the doorstep when he hears running footsteps behind him, turning to see Seb flying towards him, Moira further up the road carrying his backpack and coat.

“Daddy, I got to go on the tractor!” His eyes are wide with excitement and it’s enough to make him smile. He ruffles his hair before nodding at Moira.

“Did you say thank you?” Seb nods and then he lets himself inside the house. “Thanks for picking him up Moira.”

“It’s no trouble, I was there for Isaac. You know if you ever need a babysitter, if you want a night out…”

“Did my Mum put you up to this?” Her silence tells him everything. “I’m happy as I am.”

“When I lost John it took…” He snorts a laugh.

“Weren’t you having it off with Cain? Don’t you dare try and compare that to me and Robert. Like I say, thanks for lookin’ after Seb but I don’t need advice from anyone, least of all you.”

The door slamming behind him is strangely satisfying. Safe in his own space, no one to bother him, only Seb to worry about and he was never any trouble. He was the only person who could get a smile out of him these days.

“So, how was school?” He asks, trying to get Seb’s attention from the TV. “Fine, don’t tell me. I won’t tell you about the new film I saw advertised today.”

“What film? Can we go? Tomorrow!”

“The one with those robots you like. Not tomorrow though, I’ve got to help Uncle Cain out at the garage tomorrow. How about Sunday, just you and me?” He gets a happy nod before Seb’s gaze goes back to the television.

The evening isn’t so bad, listening to Seb’s chatter about school, the night time routine distracting him well enough. It’s later when he’s alone, Seb sleeping after two stories, one that just had to be about Daddy Robert, that the memories come back.

He should be over this, it’s been years, he should be able to think of him without feeling this kind of despair. Every time he thinks he’s starting to accept it something will send him right back to square one. The last time was at Seb’s parents evening. A new teacher who either hadn’t listened or hadn’t been told the situation had innocently mentioned him being there alone. It had taken everything not to snap at her and walk out.

The next morning is a rush, even though he slept badly he still managed to be late up, and Seb’s dragging his feet over going to the pub for the morning even though Aaron knows he loves playing with Luke even if he claims he’s boring being nearly a whole two years younger.

He brushes off his Mum’s attempts at conversation, saying he’s late and focuses on the garage. He doesn’t mind the extra work, or the extra money but he should get paid extra for listening to Dan sing along to the radio.

“Here, stop your sighing and take this callout.” Cain thrusts a piece of paper in his hand when it’s nearly time to finish.

“I’m picking Seb up.”

“Well tough. Not like your Mum’s gonna stick him out on the doorstep is it.” He can’t help rolling his eyes at his uncle, but he grabs the keys to the truck, claiming he owes him.

He doesn’t really take notice of where he’s going, Cain had just said Hotten Road, but eventually he sees a car sat by the side of the road so he brings the truck to a stop. Exactly where he is registers the exact moment he realises who is stepping out of the car.

#robron fic #fake death au

[cavitymagazine]

𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔧𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤

There’s a painting of it that you’ve probably seen somewhere. Pointillist. A dirt road and a cornfield. A parked green tractor. And, the imagery discordant, a dejected ninja slouching beside the tractor, staring down at his limply held blade as though it’s the ultimate substantiation of meaninglessness. This painting’s been reproduced, parodied, enshrined, and displayed all over the globe. It’s at the Detroit Institute of Art, presently, in fact.

Equation from a crypto-meteorological textbook:

91-101 kph [wind speed] + oblique, angular shadow systems [precise configuration/density: UNKNOWN] + misty [optional?] rain/overcast sky + uprooted bamboo trees and/or bamboo chips/strips/material [exact amount UNKNOWN] = ninjitstorm [perhaps]

Crypto-Beaufort Scale entry for ninjitstorm:

Beaufort Number: 10

Name: Chimerical Gale or Conjuror Storm

Wind Speed: 58-62 mph [91-101 kph]

Description: Considerable structural damage occurs; ninja assassins manifest

The homely Nebraska town of Sumner has a general store called General Store – it’s that kind of agrestic. People and corn. And more corn. Grain sacks. A poky video store. Grousing tractors.

Of course this uneventfulness is a late and lamented portraiture of Sumner: it is the way it was before the squall of gleaming katana.

One advanced afternoon in the mid 1990s it rains ninja on Sumner. Like homicidal hailstones, they somersault and roll and flying-kick out of tornadic funnels. Like armed sleet.

It marks the first and only occurrence of this phenomenon in the U.S. It’s a huge moment in Weather History.

Day 1: Chaos and horror. Eleven townsfolk are struck down; some livestock are poisoned by blow darts tipped with something more lethal than cyanide, others are gorily ornamented with shuriken. Green tractor paint obscured by arterial spray. Sumner’s roads go redly moist.

Law enforcement refuses to step in. Here’s an excerpt from the press release the Batch County Sheriff’s Department issued the day of the killer atmospheric conditions:

“While this department mourns the lives lost in Sumner this afternoon, the deaths, according to FEMA meteorologists, are no more ‘criminal’ than, for example, hurricane or mudslide casualties. We don’t arrest natural disasters; we don’t prosecute tsunamis. Sorry.

FEMA experts advise residents to stay indoors until a solution is reached. Crisis managers are in talks with Tokyo climatologists…”

Day 2: Terrorized townies hole up inside their houses and barns. Doors are needlessly barricaded and boarded over. (The aerial ninja confine their sneaky, homicidal industry to the outside world, in compliance with some meteorological principle only the atmosphere kens.) Sumner fathers cradle shotguns, uselessly. (Bullets have no effect on thunderstorms, squalls, or pneumatic assassins.) The town on Day 2 is ghostly and coiled, tense. Black-masked ninja zip in and across Sumner’s roads like darts: horizontal black blurs… a deadly twinkle of metal… then: gone. Hidden again.

Ain’t seen one all afternoon.

That don’t mean they ain’t out there.

My nephew googled it.

What’d it say?

Not much. Lingo for ‘em’s some Japanese word. In America they call ‘em Dudikoffs. Sounds Russian.

That don’t help, Carl.

Carl’s dumber ‘an shit on a post.

Eat me, Baker.

Ain’t never happened here in the U.S. Not ever. Last one happened in the Ukraine in ’94. Bunch in Japan in the ‘80s.

On Day 2 the only deaths are an ambling wiener dog cleanly sectioned by a sword and a few chickens, their clucking heads crunched via nunchaku, the weapon’s rawhide link sticky with fowl blood.

Day 3-5: A predawn charge overtures a full day of mass assassination almost as frenetic and ravaging as the first. This spasm of killing, however, slows over days 4 and five. The manifestation still beheads anyone or anything not under a roof, human or stock, but a certain berserk spirit seems to dissipate noticeably. The slaying isn’t as enthusiastic.

Theories abound, most of them infused with a hope contoured by acute desperation; they’re near-mythic, these theories.

Research into feline predatory patterns/Marquette University/1996:

“Our team stuck cats – housecats and ferals, both – into cages: one cat per cage. Then we simply dumped mice into these cages with the cats. Dozens of mice. The mice, of course, had nowhere to hide.

“The pattern was conspicuous right away: the cat frenzies, eyes big as dinner plates, followed by a maelstrom of claw action.

“Every cat, though, without variance, did this:

“They massacred the mice frantically, as though the mice could escape or we might take them away any second.

“Then, somewhere around Mouse Victim #14 (it’s a 12-14 range, this phenomenon, though we’ve seen it go as high as 16; never lower than 12), the cat just mellows, stops killing. Every time.

“Does the cat get bored around kill #14? Is its bloodlust sated at or around that magic number? Or does it merely realize the mice are trapped and it need not rush its rampage?

“Or… or, more interestingly, does kitty experience some kind of lynxian existential crisis? Does Garfield gaze dejectedly at his bloody, dripping claws as though they’re the substantiation of meaninglessness and say to itself, figuratively, ‘What’s the use?’

“Does Toonces pause and ask itself, ‘What the fuck is the point of me, anyway?’ Unless someone speaks cat, we’ll probably never know.”

Day 6-21: Days 6-21 play out as a more salient, more fizzly copy of days 4 and five.

The murders diminish in both number and frequency.

The mute ninjaforms meet an apparent corrosion of their eager bloodthirstiness. Their hearts are no longer in it, it seems.

The ninja seem bored. Or disillusioned. Sometimes a ripe townie will stroll right past a ninja, practically daring it to cut him down, practically volunteering, and the airborne assassin will merely look down at the dirt road, as though ashamed.

Some pundits attribute the change to Sumner’s population’s obstinacy, its grim insistence on resuming business-as-usual on Day Five. On 5, farmers rouse their slumbering tractors, church service is held, and a semi-normalcy pre-ninjastorm is willed into being. Granted, ninja bashed and hacked a not-insignificant number of townies during this time of unsheltering, sure, but the folks of Sumner were through hiding, come hell or ninja.

Day 22: A milestone in the Sumner ninjitstorm: 22 marks the day of the final killing of a town resident by a manifestation. It’s an awkward kill, like the last twitch of some fading convulsion: a meaningless reflex. Miss Maple, 83 years old. She was exiting the post office. Three ninjaforms were milling around out front, by the office’s decorative trough and hitching posts. None of the ninja had attacked in days. As Miss Maple passes the trio, nodding a “How do you do?”, one ninja flinches, and the flinch clumsily morphs into an instinctive strike. A jerky nunchaku stick cracks Miss Maple’s brittle skull. Red spurts out through gray scalp. Blood spatters her lavender shawl. She dies in the dirt road, her seizurely throes the only movement. It’s pathetic, that last killing. Dishonorable. Ninja wear masks, but still it’s as though the humiliation can be read on the assassin’s face: a child caught in the act of doing something stupidly cruel for no good reason.

Day 23-Day 60:

Crazy to say it.

Well, shit. You want it to go back to the way it was last month?

‘Course not. Hell.

I know what Carl’s gettin’ at though. Yessir. It’s glum. They’re like reminders of somethin’ sad.

Somethin’ bygone.

Yeah, “gone” is right. Gone are a bunch of decent folk gettin’ stabbed and decapitated for no goddamn reason. Are y’all forgettin’ that?

They are weather, Dan. We gonna hate somethin’ natural forever? It’s like stayin’ mad at the tornado that took your pickup.

Like stayin’ sore at the scorpion for stingin’.

That weather took my wife’s eye out with a dag-gum throwin’ star, Baker.

Settle down y’all.

How much’s a bag of them Corn Nuts?

The picante ones? Them’re good.

Well, listen. Them ninja, they’re here. And, ill or good, they’re ours. That’s how this town is. They’re part of us now.

Harmless, the ninja of Sumner slouch, their all-black suits vivid in the dayglare. They mill a lot, doing nothing – mopey shadows.

A gradual homogeny blooms: the town, its placidness, its standardized, cyclic normalcy, first tames and then assimilates the disorder of ninja, like a gobbling Norman Rockwell that quickly swallows up and absorbs any rogue or transgressive brushstrokes.

No one likes a sad ninja. Sad ninja are worse than your ordinary sad person. They’re oppressive.

The ninjaforms go from skulking assassins to lethargic killers; then to dejected, bland objects of pity – voiceless panhandlers, like stray cats or confused urchins.

Lost in despair, pouting between the town’s squat buildings or brooding in silent circles behind the video store, the ninja, finally, become the sullen pillars of the Sumner community.

Day 61-Present:

The ninja are as much a part of Sumner now as the cattle. As fixed and integral as the cornstalks. More so, maybe.

Sumner’s a tourist destination now; a very disappointing one. Morose ninja contemplating the dirt get boring fast. Tourists snap a few photos of the incongruous weather-forms, grab a slab of Marge’s Diner’s “famous” banana cream pie, and drive back to Florida or California or wherever tourists come from.

There is talk of penning up the ninja and making them a petting zoo. They’re docile as sleepy goats now, after all. Sometimes tourists’ kids will run over and pet one of them or tug at one’s pant leg. It gave people ideas.

Sometimes sympathetic Sumner grandmothers, overcome by pity, will do something like pet one of the glum ninja, stroking its hooded, hung head, extending a solace that isn’t receivable.

Story and artwork by Will Bernardara Jr.

[Author Bio]

Will Bernardara Jr. is the author of the novella America from voidfront. 

#altlit #freewriting #americanliterature #writerscorner #ninja #readit #submit #read #alternativelit #shortstory #newshortstory

[thingstodoinwales-blog1]

Features to Do in Wales

There are many points to do in Wales in the UK, whether you are there for a day, a week or longer. One of the largest destinations in the location is Snowdonia National Park. This park is 823 square miles with 23 miles of shoreline. Its landscape consisted of nine range of mountains as well as has lots of natural charm to simply delight in. The Old Hay Loft at Erddig, in Wrexham. Wales, and also is preserved by the National Trust fund. Stop in and have a look at the style of the structure with its beamed ceiling as well as wooden floorings have a mug of tea or attempt the Woodlands ice cream which is extremely delicious. There is likewise an Apple Celebration held every October.

The National Program Caves, Dan yr Ogof, are a charming location for a field trip including some hiking as well as checking out. These caverns were created over 300 million years back in the Brecon Beacons National Forest. Spend time in the caverns checking out all the stalagmites as well as stalactites together with checking out the numerous other locations of the park. There are several things to do in wales that are open to the public and some also give scenic tours. You could visit the Beaumaris Castle situated in Beaumaris that goes back to 1295 when it initially started to be developed, Chirk Castle situated in Wrexham, is actually even more of a fortress than a castle is still stayed in today as well as has 700 years of background behind it. Tours are offered of both of these.

If you're tired of all the background and desire to see a different kind of nature go take a look at one of the numerous zoos and also ranches in the area. A superb one is Bodafon Farm Park, which is a real working ranch in the countryside. You can see unusual farm selections as well as even snuggle the rabbits, or use miniature tractors in the Kid's Farmyard. Ilechwedd Slate Caverns located in Gwynedd, are an additional excellent place to take the kids. Here you can take a cable car trip through caves as well as see how miners descend and also function in the mines. If you have a train lover in the family a trip on the Ffestiniog Railway likewise located in Gwynedd, is not to be missed. The vapor trains take a 3-hour journey with the scenery of Snowdonia National Park.

[themutantunderground]

Let Your Heart Be Light Ch. 12

John is home on leave from the Marines and Clarice is home on winter break from grad school. While they used to date in high school, Clarice and John haven't been together in a long time... But it's Christmas time, and it seems like everything and everyone in their small, holiday-obsessed hometown is trying to get them back together. Modern Thunderblink AU!

Ao3 | FF.net

"We don't have snow chains."

"Do we need them a lot?"

"Snow chains might help us not die."

John tightened his grip on the steering wheel and rolled his eyes. "We're not going to die," he said calmly, interrupting Riley and Norah's pessimistic discussion. With four-wheel drive, they weren't in too much danger, but Marcos and Lorna were in a little car and James didn't have years and years of experience driving. He reached up to rub his hand over his mouth and chin, and Clarice leaned over and gave him a look.

"What?" he asked, glancing over at her.

"You're doing that thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing." She gestured at her own face and leaned back against the passenger side door. "You cover your mouth and brush your chin when you're frustrated or worried. Like this." She demonstrated, rubbing her hand over her mouth and then across her chin, her eyebrows slanted in a broody frown. He didn't look like that...did he?

"Or mad," Riley piped up from the backseat.

"No, I don't," John said, almost reaching up to touch his chin again. He drove his hand back to the steering wheel and smiled tensely.

"Sure, you don't," Clarice said.

"It's snowing really hard," Norah said, her voice higher than earlier. "Shouldn't we stop?"

"Well, this is a really big truck," Clarice said, "So I don't think we're in any danger."

"Is James okay?" Riley said, reaching forward to touch John's shoulder. "The Jeep isn't as big."

"We're going very slow," John replied. "Everyone is. He'll be all right."

Outside, every vehicle had slowed to a crawl as they kept going through the onslaught of snow that no one had been expecting. Hazard lights blinked in the grey haze. The light snowfall was closer to a blizzard now, and it pelted the truck's windows without letting up as they inched past a stopped tractor trailer.

Marcos and James were driving in front of him so he could help them if one of them slid off the road, but he didn't like the idea of it coming to that. Marcos was going about ten miles per hour, which would probably be all right as long as he didn't try to slow down. That would be when he would start fishtailing. But if they tried to stop now, he wasn't sure they would make it back to Westchester.

"Can we call Mama D again?" Norah asked, leaning up.

"Sit back," Clarice said, her tone holding a touch of tenseness. She apparently didn't like the weather either. "Just in case."

"You just said we're not in danger," Norah said.

"That doesn't mean you should go around testing your seatbelt," Clarice said. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and handed it back to Norah.

"You've got a lot of notifications," Norah said, "From Instagram."

"I'll look at them later," Clarice said, looking out the window.

John turned his full attention ahead as their lane of traffic kept slowly moving forward. It wasn't dark yet, but the overcast sky had made everything dimmer and it was hard to see through the snow. He had turned off the music so he could focus better.

"Hi, Mama D!" Norah said, breaking the brief silence, "We're still on the road…Mhmm…No, we're driving."

"Tell her we're going so slow a snail would be able to pass us with ease," Clarice said.

John half-smiled, his eyes on the taillights of the Jeep. James had skidded once earlier, but he seemed to be doing fine now. Still… "Maybe we should stop."

"Here?" Clarice asked. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her turn toward him. "We're not near anything."

"Not here, but maybe we could find somewhere to stay for the night," John said. He glanced up at the mirror, fully aware that both James and Riley were his responsibility right now. And Norah was there, and the other teenagers in the Jeep, and then there was Marcos and Lorna and Clarice. He didn't want to imagine anything happening to any of them. "It might be safer."

"Mama D says that Dan Keller on the news said it wasn't going to get any better," Norah said, "She said we should find somewhere to stop."

"I could look up some hotels," Clarice said after chewing on her bottom lip for a minute.

"Here's Mama D, she wants to talk to you." The phone was passed back up to Clarice.

"I can tell the Jeep!" Riley said. She had the radio in her hands, and John saw her wave it at the mirror before it crackled to life. "We're stopping! Over."

"Riley?" It was Alison's voice. "What was that?"

"We're going to stop, over," Riley said into the radio again. "Clarice is going to find us a place, over."

A soft laugh escaped from John. "You don't have to say over until you're actually done saying what you need to say, Riley." Hadn't some discussion like this happened on the way to the Christmas tree farm?

"I know…"

"Good, I'm glad to hear that," Alison's voice popped over the radio, "I think we could use a break. Over?"

"Can you ask her if everything's okay?" John said, narrowing his eyes at the back of the Jeep.

"Are you okay?" Riley asked, "Over."

"Yeah, there's just a lot of snow and it's hard for us to see," Alison said, "But James wants John to know that he's fine, but the rest of us want to stop. Because apparently we're cowardly wusses who can't deal with bad weather? Really James—"

Mmm, which probably meant that James was angrily stressing out and driving the rest of them crazy. And he was going to regret saying that to Alison.

In the passenger seat, Clarice was on her phone, the glow dancing around her fingers. "There's a hotel about twenty minutes up the road," she said, "So I think it'll take us about forty-five minutes to get there."

"Do they have a pool?" Riley asked, "And dinner?"

"Why would we need a pool?" Norah asked.

"So we can swim," Riley said, "And we really need dinner. Everything needs to eat."

"Are we really stopping?" It was Lorna this time, her voice emanating from the radio. "Because the car wasn't made for this. Over."

"Tell her yes, we think we have a place now," John told Riley.

"Let her know it's a Holiday Inn, and I'll book some rooms for everyone," Clarice said.

"Don't use your own card for that, Clarice," John said.

"I'm just going to book the rooms, we can figure out the bill later."

Suddenly the radio was right beside John's head. "You tell them. I don't know what you want me to say."

John took the radio from her and pressed the talk button. "Lorna, Alison, we're going to keep going until we reach the Holiday Inn. It'll be about forty five minutes at this speed, and we're going to call to get rooms for everyone. Do you copy? Over."

"So official," Lorna teased, "But we copy. Over."

"Copy, over," Ali said a second later, her answer sharp-edged.

"Sounds like the Jeep is having a good time," Clarice said with a low whistle. "Bet James is wishing he could take back that name-calling right about now."

John nodded. James was going to have to apologize for that eventually, though knowing him, it wouldn't be immediate. It would take him a little while to realize exactly what he had done wrong and then see that the fault was his.

"Is Ali mad?" Riley asked.

"Sounds like it," Norah said.

"All right, I'm calling the hotel," Clarice said, raising the phone to her ear. "I'll ask if they have dinner."

"Ooo, yay!" Riley said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome—yes, hi!" Clarice started talking to the receptionist on the other end of the line while the girls went quiet in the back. John's mind spun as she managed to three rooms. Sounded like they were going to have to squish all of them into those three rooms.

"We have two rooms with queens, and one with a king," Clarice said, putting the phone down in her lap. "I guess Lorna and Marcos will take the one with the king, and the rest of us can split up guys and girls."

"Are we having a sleepover?" Riley asked.

"Looks like it," John said. He would have to call Aunt Evelyn once they got to the hotel to let her know they were all okay. She was probably worried by now, but he didn't want to call and drive at the same time and letting Riley tell her what was happening seemed like a bad idea.

He flicked his gaze over toward Clarice. She was sitting forward in her seat, one hand on the dash, dark green eyes narrowed. She turned her head and met his gaze, offering a small smile.

"You got this, Superman?"

John smiled as he looked back at the road. "Definitely."

#thunderblink #john proudstar #clarice fong #strat writes

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 21 - Sao Paulo

Filed under: I was that tuned out of last year I didn’t realise a second race had its name changed for 2022

ANYWAY: while I forgot to watch highlights for Brazil (I genuinely had every intention to, I just forgot bc C4 only has the highlights shows up on their website for a week). I do remember logging onto tumblr after the race and seeing the carnage of George Russell getting his and Merc’s first win of the season... and the RBR team order drama (👀)

But apart from that, I know nothing, so let’s dive in:

ngl this is one of the races I’ve been most looking forward to watching in full, mainly for the non-RBR win but also I need to know how Russell dragged the W13 into P1 like please tell us your secrets

I also read a few weeks back the very wild stat that the W13 got a 1-2 finish, but it’s predecessor the W12 didn’t. Which is insane

right then, starting grid whiplash:

(which, this was a sprint weekend, which will likely explain a lot)

Lance P15, bc of a 10 sec pen apparently

SEB P9 LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

oh my god a Merc front row, the absolute SCENES

capture it, remember it

oh, we absolutely ADORE to see it.

I will give sprint races this one right, just this once

[Formation Lap]: like Mexico, a pretty even split of people starting on either the softs or the mediums, with the exception of Albon being the only car on the hards

oh, I am looking forward to this. I am thrilled Angela in the garage and she is me

[Lap 1/Start]: Mercs holding formation at the start

LANDO NORRIS?! In between the RBRs and Ferrari???

OH SHIT

Safety Car, Dan just speared into Kevin

oh the duality of McLaren in 2022

[Lap 2]: Tag yourself I’m the marshal just flinging the broken bits of advertising board away

oh so Dan tapped Kevin into a spin, and Kevin not able to control the car, went right into Dan. welp.

[Lap 3]: SEB UP TO P8 LET’S GET IT!!!!

and Mick P10 🥺 That’s my emotional support Germans

[Lap 4]: “That Aston Martin in the hands of Vettel has some pace today” I need Ted to be my hype man seriously

Charles has potential engine problems??? oh welp

Ferrari gonna Ferrari

[Lap 5]: Albon pits to ditch the hards for mediums, still under SC

The replay of Lando’s start, very noice

[Lap 6]: aaaand SC in this lap

rip Otmar’s nerves for having to watch Esteban v Alonso at the restart

ayyy Bono sighting

...you gonna go George???

[Lap 7]: ....

ffs

Lewis and Verstappen touched and broke bits of each other’s cars

NOT LANDO TAKING OUT CHARLES

oh so Charles is not out he managed to get his car back to the pits.

still I would like a refund for that lap, it woke up and chose TOO MUCH violence

[Lap 8]: oh my god Seb’s up into P5 as a result of all the violence

[Lap 9]: And Lewis is up into P7

[Lap 10]: And now P6

cut to Lance in P9 defending from Bottas

[Lap 11]: Lewis v Seb, this is not how I wanted it to happen but I’ll take it 🥺

apparently still a way to go until 1st stop territory, which will probably have been extended a tiny bit thanks to the safety car

[Lap 12]: “That Aston Martin is a sprightly thing” AMR22 no longer assigned tractor status 🥳🥳🥳

[Lap 13]: Verstappen got a 5 sec pen for the violence huh 👀

as does Norris for trying to murder Charles

[Lap 14]: And Lewis takes P5, to the delight of the very lively crowd

I think we can all agree that Brazil is Lewis’ second home race at this point (I mean, it technically his how he has his honorary citizenship, but you know what I mean)

[Lap 15]: And Lewis takes 4th from Lando (try saying that three times fast)

can we not get constant replays of the Verstappen on Lewis violence, once was more than enough

[Lap 16]: meanwhile Seb is chasing down Lando 👀

this race has been quite a lot, and I don’t think we’re barely at one quarter distance

Interlagos will always be 100% that bitch

[Lap 17]: SEB INTO P5!!!! THAT’S MY BOOOOOOY

oh and Zhou makes his first stop

[Lap 18]: as does Sainz

meanwhile Russell is driving around completely unbothered while multiple fistfights happen behind him

Sainz has a smoky brake apparently 😬

not a tear off stuck in the brake duct oh good grief

[Lap 20]: somehow, Bottas is in P6

ayyy Lance up to P9

...or not Sainz just passed him

[Lap 21]: Charles still down in P15, he was a title contender at the start of the year 😭

[Lap 22]: Lewis closing the gap to Perez you say 👀👀👀

Charles pits again, because Clowneria Ferrari

[Lap 24]: and just to emphasise the point, Sainz doesn’t know what strategy he’s on.

Perez pits for mediums

oh my god Seb’s in P3. STOP THE RACE!!!!!!!

[Lap 25]: Russell pits, and has a slower stop compared to Perez

but he comes out ahead of Seb.

Anyway Merc 1-2, Lewis win, Seb P3. STOP! THE! RACE!!!!!

[Lap 26]: Lewis leading in Brazil, feels good feels organic

and the crowd (rightfully) love him

“Sebastian Vettel runs third” INJECT IIIIIIIIIT!!!!!

But, I did look up Seb’s result and he finishes P11 so I’m vibing now while it lasts 😭

[Lap 27]: and in Seb pits for mediums, he comes out in 9th

[Lap 28]: and Bottas takes 7th off Gasly

helmet watch: Seb’s Brazilian flag tree design is so cute I love it

[Lap 29]: They’re talking about dark clouds, please no 🥲

but anyway SEB INTO P8!!!

[Lap 30]: Lewis makes his first stop, softs for mediums, and comes out in P4

and Seb up into P7 as Lance pits

“Pitlane incident involving Alfa Romeo will be investigated after the race” ????? care to give us any detail at all FIA?????

don’t just leave us hanging spill the tea

[Lap 31]: I am not looking at the clouds in the distance I do not see them

[Lap 32]: Lewis setting a 1m15. King shit.

[Lap 33]: and Lance passes Yuki for P14

beloved midfield spice how I have missed you since you were MIA in Mexico

[Lap 34]: Ted spilling the pit lane drama tea, apparently Alfa Romeo didn’t pull in their wheel guns when Mick came in for his stop (it’s a sporting curtesy, not a rule per se)

But is still funny that the entire Alfa Romeo team is under investigation seghujgh

poor Barry from catering is an innocent bystander in all of this!!!!

[Lap 36]: Anyway, racing

Alonso pits, promoting Bottas to 5th (?!) and Seb to 6th 🥳

Sainz to pit again, not surprising considering he’s on the softs

He’s on the mediums this time

[Lap 38]: Man seeing the cars being able to actually follow each other, and make overtakes in the corners as opposed to DRS moves. WE STAN.

Alonso with a nice move on Yuki for P13

[Lap 40]: whew I didn’t even notice that we’d passed half distance

track temp has dropped 11 degrees since the race start, it’s def way cloudier. And that’s seemingly favouring Merc, considering the rate at which Lewis is catching Perez

[Lap 41]: Ted has gotten out the big braincell and realised that Merc’s goal is to get a 1-2 for the drama. As they should tbh.

[Lap 42]: Seb still in P6, I’m equal parts thrilled and worried as to how he ends up P11

[Lap 43]: Lewis’ gap to Perez under 2 seconds 👀

someone whip out the jaws music

[Lap 44]: he’s closed right up, racing time!!

[Lap 45]: and he gets the move done down the main straight. NOICE.

and the crowd go insane, as they should

meanwhile Charles pits again from 8th, I once again support his rights to burn things down

[Lap 46]: Seb pits from P6, and drops to P11

[Lap 48]: Perez pits again for mediums, and gets jumped by Sainz

Both Mercs yet to make their second stops still, I would be both surprised and impressed if they manage to make the one-stop work

[Lap 49]: And as I type that, in comes Lewis 😅

Likely to cover off Perez.

Which he does! He’s on the softs

[Lap 50]: and In comes Russell, also for softs

Crofty stop trying to manifest rain the race is fine without it!!

Seb in P7 ahead of Charles 🥺

[Lap 51]: And Charles does pass Seb for 7th

[Lap 52]: Oh apparently Kevin still hasn’t come back to the paddock yet ubhsgeugheshg

and Lando has stopped with a loss of power. McLaren’s very bad not good race.

and a bit of a late VSC, since Lando was getting out the car while cars were passing him 🙃🙃🙃

[Lap 53]: and looks like Ferrari are going to pit Sainz for softs

[Lap 54]: that McLaren is not moving for the marshals for love nor money

and we’re upgraded to a full Safety Car because of it

not Crofty stirring the pot asking Otmar what he’ll tell Esteban and Fernando at the restart slrbnhlbh

He is craving all sorts of violence today

[Lap 55]: Helmet watch: Lando’s neon yellow with chrome royal blue design is so pretty

“You are racing, just be respectful” Mercedes say no violence only polite fisticuffs allowed

stop. replaying. the Verstappen on Lewis incident.

[Lap 56]: another Bono sighting?! TV director your basket of pastries is in the post.

[Lap 57]: “They haven’t released the lapped cars yet” Brundle... don’t

[Lap 58]: oh Esteban being told to let Alonso past and he straight up says no aeghearughs

Alpine squared violence intensifies

[Lap 59]: SC coming in... I am Anxious™️

If we get RBR on Lewis violence again I will SCREAM

George once again taking his SWEET AS TIME to go ffs

[Lap 60]: okay phew that was a much more chill restart

argh Seb down to 9th what happened?!

[Lap 61]: oof Sainz trying to barge past Perez

Charles watching behind with popcorn

and Alonso passes Bottas for P6

once again, EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING

[Lap 62]: 10 laps to go, oh BOY

oh. Seb was on the mediums surrounded by drivers on softs. no wonder he’s dropped places

[Lap 63]: And Sainz does pass Perez for P3

funnily enough he’s also on the mediums while the cars around him are on softs

[Lap 64]: And Charles takes P4!

meanwhile the gap between the Mercs is just over a second

[Lap 65]: Oh jeez that swerving from Perez and Alonso

and Fernando adds himself to be “I passed Perez after the SC restart” party

oh. Verstappen is behind Perez now. team order drama incoming I guess. 🍿

replay of elated Alpine mechanics my beloved

[Lap 67]: 5 laps left, and Verstappen passes Perez. 

after explicably being told to take points off the Ferrari’s 😬

ohhhhhh that pass from Mick on Gasly was NICE

[Lap 68]: Gap between the Mercs still are 1.2-1.3 seconds

[Lap 69]: Ugh, Seb’s dropped down to P11 behind Lance, damn you medium tyres

(Not Lance though, he’s great)

[Lap 70]: The fact that this was Merc’s first win since Saudi ‘21... pain

[Lap 71]: Also the comedy of Merc winning one of the races Toto wasn’t at aeghaergh. It’s a wonder Toto has been at any races in 2023.

welp more internal Ferrari violence

[Finish]: And Russell wins his first F1 race, with Lewis bagging a Merc 1-2!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

Sainz P3, Charles P4, with Fernando dragging his Alpine into P5 out of sheer spite.

Okay I’m pretty neutral on Russell but his team radio was v sweet 🥺

and ending with Lewis DOTD, and Lance P10 Team Greeeeeeeeen!!!🥳💚

WHEW. Interlagos continues to deliver the racing AND the drama. That was a fun race to watch though, while we didn’t have a proper battle for the win per se there was so much entertainment in the midfield, and while the reason why it happened did not spark joy, watching Lewis fight back through the field like the King he is was *chef’s kiss*.

Overall, 9 front wings out of 10. Next, and final race of 2022 - Abu Dhabi!

#F1 2022 re watch #F1 Re watch #F1 Liveblog #Brazil edition

[the-firebird69]

I'm bringing the suit against these people here today and several courts one is put together when is Port Charlotte when is the Superior Court and we're working our way up and we are going to hire courts shortly and we will seek compensation and criminal charges too and if you feel to pay we're going to react much faster stopping injunctions and restraining orders and we will begin to notify law enforcement that they are not doing their job and then becomes a matter of national security I'm going to bring it to the federal government. You say they want to keep an apple we believe you we have an angle believe it or not it's almost simple the beginning of proceedings today and we'll begin our approach today who feels comply we will bring it to higher courts.

And we're seeing John remillard for everything he has again we're going after him fiercely very fiercely I'm sick of you too Mac you're an a****** you didn't arrange this reading of the will and not the lawyer and you're not the judge and you're not planning on using the money as code okay then what are you doing ask me over to help and digging around with us like freaking Tommy F and John remillard taught you and it's terrible soon to justify it's like this whole thing is hinging on your slow ass plan that never works to help our son it's terrible it's really terrible the money will do it but geez trying to do something it's an emergency. I'm putting a restaurant all over the place and we're growing we're starting to build a real cars real numbers of cars and we're knocking everybody out and they're not getting up. Donald Trump is withering and weakening today we're clearing another quadrant of the Midwest it's a giant area about 400x400 MI it seems small when you compare it against Mac Daddy's or Tommy F matrix which is about the same size white blocks is about that size no it's half that and it still seems rather huge. So we're clearing that and we ripped up the bunkers from the quadrant we cleared and the ships are ready to launch tonight and we used all this time to dig the exhaust tunnels. Then it's filled in

Tonight we launch 20 million chips and there are several types Stone chips are about 18 million black ships are about 2 million and that's about it. We're clearing another area and there's four areas we're going to do this too in the midwest cuz there's four areas there and it'll be clear and ready by probably 10:00 p.m. and then we raise the whole area after removing some stuff and flatten it all including with the cities were everything's got to go the Midwest is evacuating. The building's super heavy tractors trucks and we're using them some of them are 50 miles long and 50 mi wide and 20 miles high we have to we can use those. We have major earthworks projects to do we don't have time to pick around in our poop. Globally. After today's lunch we'll have about 35 million stone chips all class A all the stone was grown by us and joined by us and Trump and Company were used like slaves in Egypt and they mind the stone and they moved the stone and they said it's sort of in place and the same thing happened at the pyramids and her Giants had to come out at night and read a fixed with the stones go oh my God whoa buddy and people are commenting like mac and Dan in the same wow that's really out there again huh and Trump is saying some sleazeball stuff. But boy wow. That last the next quadrant that is it's about the same about 20 million but 17 or stone ships and 3 million are Black ships and yeah we are retro fitting the shield and cloak and undisclosed location and yeah Tommy f is searching and he's losing fleets. Because we know how to mount the weapon and make it work like it should we add our metal to it and it works better than his ground-based weapons and it's much more powerful so maybe seven times more is a very powerful and go through Earth in like 6 minutes if it was all dirt. It's extremely powerful that's the biggest one and that's if you honed it down. I was going to punch a hole through Earth second about 20 miles wide and we're not going to use it for that. Tonight we're going to attack Australia well it's really doing the day here and it's coming up pretty soon. And everybody else running off to the West not sure why we think it's the fight over the chopper shops as if it's that important. How about making a big deal out of it and I can't get up there near the north house 40 the shops are about 20 miles south of it so at least 30 miles or 40 miles from them to the obelisk. They're sending troops out there now and that's where they're going and what they're saying is they're trying to get into Utah which is what they're doing. And all of his minion because he's a dumb person I can't sit here and live like this with babies who are demented asking stupid questions doing stupid things trying to ruin the economy poison everyone ruin everything they've done and we've done it's obnoxious he's going to check out soon and one day it's not going to be a big problem I mean dumb and dumberland is starting now because there's two movies to run before tomorrow and tomorrow's Tuesday is dumb and dumber into tomorrow night and Wednesday morning in the movie heat begins and then die hard is that night and the next morning is Thursday hurricane heist early in the morning so it's both die hard movies so soon they're going to be off on that trip to Cuba for a week most of them stay there now Johnny rewards stays there and Mike has to stay there for a few days and doesn't go to Cuba Tom Cruise comes back here for this feds and bothers our son it's a waste of time.

Is more too this than you see no these people have become idiots. So begins today dumb and dumber 3

Thor Freya

[bike42]

Monday September 20, 2021

Mount Kilimanjaro is Africa’s highest mountain, and one of the “seven summits.” Summiting mountains is not really my thing, however the adventure of this trek intrigued me. Its supposedly the tallest mountain in the world that can be climbed without technical equipment. The highest point, Uhuru Peak is 19,340 feet.

We booked with Embark Expeditions, and they recommended we take the Lemosha Route, described this way: “With fewer than 10 percent of climbers on this trail and the potential to see a variety of wildlife through dense jungle, Lemosha is the best way to enter the mountain. At 45 miles, the longer route allows for more thorough acclimatization and a higher success rate to the summit. The trail passes through five ecosystems, from dense forest and heather up through alpine desert and the glorious summit.”

Freddie handed out a Karibu (Welcome) packet today that said today was a day that required patience - no doubt about that! We were all up early for breakfast, stored our passports and extra cash (for tips) in the hotel safe, and weighed our bags. My duffle for the trek weighed 27.5 pounds, Jeff’s weighed in at 33. My daypack, with 3 liters of water weighed just over 19 pounds - not bad. In it I have my rain gear (pants, jacket and poncho), water, some snacks, bug net and spray, sunscreen, first aid and general fix it kit, and I’ll add my Chaco sandals that I’m wearing on our drive this morning.

We left Moshi around 10 am, in a direction towards Arusha I think. The first 90 minutes were scenery similar to yesterday, small businesses, lots of guys on motorcycles, huddled together, but appearing to be waiting around (we’ve surmised they’re couriers or Uber drivers). We stopped at a Petrol station / Supermarket for a toilet break. There were also guys there selling souvenirs and also things more useful for the hike: ponchos, winter hats and gloves.

We headed out and turned towards Kilimanjaro and immediately it felt more rural. The goat and cattle herds were larger, we saw a few tractors and larger corn fields. Earlier this morning we’d passed a few sparsely planted fields where woman were cutting the corn stalks by hand, bundling them, and carrying them away on their heads - while beautifully dressed! There were no fences keeping the livestock in, and generally there were 1-3 guys that appeared to be managing them with long sticks.

We were climbing, and quite suddenly the scenery changed to dry grass and intermittent trees - what I expect to see on next weeks safari! I even imagined I saw two giraffe under a tree, but as I was telling myself I imagined that, Tam shouted out “There’s a giraffe!” Others saw it too, and when we stopped later, the other Dan had actually got a photo of them!

After about three hours, we turned off the Highway on to a dirt road towards the Londorossi Gate, where entry formalities were completed while we had lunch. There were many different groups there checking in, and it appeared to be chaos. They ushered us over to a pavilion where we were to eat our lunch, which to our dismay was exactly like yesterday’s. We’d spotted some colobus monkeys just as we were approaching the gate, and a group of us went over to photograph them and watch their antics. With their flowing white tails, they looked extra graceful! I never thought I’d see a monkey in a pine tree though, and I wondered how they get the sap out of their hair!

While we were eating and watching the monkeys, our guides were paying the fees and weighing in the porter packs. They’d taken each one of our 30ish pound duffels and put it in a green bag along with other camp supplies. Each bag had to weigh less than 60 pounds total. The porters would have a backpack on their back (with their stuff I guess) and one of these green bags on their heads, or resting on their necks. Wow.

The day was sunny, but when you were in the shade, it felt a little chilly. They told us to hike in long pants to avoid the stinging nettles along the trail. I rolled my pants up a bit, as pants felt too warm for me, but I did keep my long sleeve shirt on all day.

Back in the bus, we drove to the Lemosho Route, and I napped so I’m not sure how long it was? Walking from the bus to the pavilion to sit and put my boots on, I dropped my pack in the silty dirt. Ugh. I used my new Embark buff to wipe it down. One more so called bathroom stop, a few photos, and we were on our way. Frederick lead the way at a very slow pace - pole pole, designed to help us acclimate gradually and reserve our strength for tougher days. We’d step aside to allow the porters to pass, and several times faster groups passed us too (which was a bit more that some in our group could take, but it was fine by me).

I was surprised to find a well defined trail, but it mostly had 2-4” of silty dirt or volcanic ash and everything felt dirty at the end of the day. I was able to nose breathe since we were walking so slow, so I hope I kept the dust out of my lungs! We took a 10 minute break after two miles, and our two assistant guides, Alfred and Abel caught up to us and walked the rest of the way. We heard what Frederick said were blue monkeys, but didn’t see them. We did see flowers and birds, and towards the end of the day, more Colobus monkeys swinging through the jungle - so cool!

The area we’re in is technically Rain Forest, but it is the dry season. The flowers we see are slightly dust covered, and therefore not so brilliant. For the most part, the jungle is thick, but the rolling vistas were amazing. A really cool design of this trail system is there are 4-5 different routes up the mountain, but only one way for everyone to go down - so we didn’t have to deal with two way traffic.

After about 4 hours, we reached our camp, Mti Mkubwa, which means "Big Tree" or “Forest Camp” in Swahili. By the time we got to camp, they’d already set up camp and erected our tents. Camp consists of a kitchen, a dining tent, and we have two toilet tents which are actually quite nice! We didn’t have an appreciation for how many people would be at this camp … but our guess is 250 workers and 100 clients (our guides refer to us as “tourists”).

We got settled in our tents, then the camping crew brought us each a basin of warm water - heavenly to wash up but my washcloth will never be clean and it’s only day one! After that, tea and popcorn were served. Then Frederick and Augustine performed our daily health check (actually, we’ll get this twice a day). They have a Pulse Oximeter just like Jeff’s and recorded our O2 Saturation and Pulse Rate. Next the questions: How do you feel 1-10, and if not a 10, what’s wrong? When did you last pee and shit (their words, not mine). Are you taking Diamox (for altitude sickness) and/or malarial drugs? How is your breathing? Are you coughing? How is your appetite? Slightly awkward to do as a group, but we’re good friends!

Then we had dinner: vegetable soup, garlic bread, carbonara pasta, grilled veggies, cake for dessert.

Our support staff consists of:

Guides 4 (2 Lead Augustine and Frederick, 2 Assistant Alfred and Abel)

Chef 1

Waiters 2

Toilet guy 1

Camping crew 2

Porters 22

Student (Abel). A-Bell

Elevation (ft) 7,800ft to 9,500ft

Distance 4 mi

Hiking Time 4 hours

Rain Forest

Pulse = 70 bpm

O2 sat = 95

It was an amazing day. Jeff and I got choked up as we took our first steps. 2.5 years of talking about this, and two years of serious planning. After his heart attack 18 months ago, we both wondered if this was even possible. With pole pole, and good training, everything is possible!

[go-ahead-and-whump]

Blondie

Chapter 3

Okay, so I’m going to be honest, I can’t tell if this chapter is good or not. If you have any critiques PLEASE SHARE!! This chapter I meant to leave you with a few questions, and I will answer them within the coming chapters. Please enjoy!

Chapter content: triggered meltdown, hurt/comfort

On their third day of traveling, Dan and Blondie make it to Chicago. There is a citrus fruit juicing plant in the suburbs of the city where Dan parks the truck and a few employees come out to unload crates upon crates of oranges. Blondie remains in the passenger seat and rolls his window down for a bit of fresh air. He watches his master from his side mirror. Dan’s not allowed to help the workers unload the oranges, but he supervises just in case, and checks to make sure the trailer is still properly hitched to the tractor. The smell of oranges, now much more faint than it was back at the orchards, wafts through the air. 

There are places in the midwest that look a lot like Florida in many ways. It’s flat and mostly made up of farmland when driving between each state, with very little to look at other than corn, wheat, and soybean fields. In between the fields, an occasional cow pasture will break up the crop. The main difference between Florida and the midwest is the color. Where Florida is green and brown with lush, dense forests and marshes, the midwest is golden. It’s so golden that in the early mornings, when the sun is just rising over the horizon, it can be almost blinding to look at.

Fancier truck stops become few and far between as they drive further into the bread basket, and Dan is running dangerously low on fuel when they pull into a small gas station just inside the state border of Iowa. 

“Go ahead and run inside. I’ll be there in a minute. Pick out a snack and something to drink for us.” 

“Coke and peanuts?” Blondie asks, and Dan gives an affirmative “Yes, please.”

He has caught on quickly to the fact that Dan’s guilty pleasure is a bottle of diet coke with a bag of salted peanuts. He gets one at nearly every gas station and always pours the peanuts inside his coke so whenever he takes a sip, he can have something to nibble on as well. It doesn’t seem particularly delicious, but then again, Blondie has never tried it.

Maybe I should ask him if I can have a taste sometime, he wonders, but quickly shakes away the idea.

The gas station is much like any other. There are four long aisles with things like candy, chocolates, chips, and jerky, and another aisle with small boxes of things like Neosporin, condoms, and tampons. There’s even an aisle with quarts of oil for your car or gauges to measure your tire pressure. Coolers line the walls with drinks ranging from water and juice to boxes of beer. Blondie walks up and down the length of each aisle. He finds a bottle of Coke and a bag of salted peanuts before roaming around in search of something for himself. He tries to remember a KitKat tastes like, and can’t seem to decide if he liked them or not when he was younger. 

What did Nana get? He frowns. Peachie O’s? Twizzlers?

Outside, Dan swipes his card at the pump and stuffs his wallet back into his pocket. The windshield of the semi is speckled with bug guts, and it’s a pain to clean off, but Dan knows that the longer he waits to clean the windshield, the more the guts will bake on, which will make cleaning the windshield that much more difficult the next time. So, he resigns and grabs the small squeegee brush from the bucket of soapy water next to the gas pump and begins to work away the grime. 

He thinks about Blondie. He thinks about the silence that has endured for the past three days. He’s so quiet. Dan frowns. Is he afraid of me? Did I do something? Maybe he’s just shy. 

But shyness doesn’t explain the blind obedience from Blondie. Everything Dan says, Blondie responds to with “yes sir” and “no sir” and “Thank you sir”, or “I’m sorry sir.”

He acts like I’m some kind of drill sergeant. Dan frowns even more. Maybe I should tell him to call me by my name one more time. Maybe he forgot. 

It’s hard to get a good angle to clean the windshield from. Dan has to open the doors and stand half inside the truck just to reach the front. He finishes scrubbing off the driver’s side, or at least he chooses to be done with it, when he hears the faint but very distinct sound of someone….screaming?

Dan nearly doesn’t catch it. It’s so out of the blue that he thinks it might be coming from an animal or a radio. He only catches on to the sounds when the doors of the gas station swing open and a few customers scramble out with looks of concern and unease on their faces. 

Fuck. His stomach twists in a knot, and he already knows that the screaming is coming from Blondie. 

He hops down from the truck and practically sprints to the doors. The noise becomes less of what Dan originally believed to be screams, and morph into more of a loud, wailing sob. He yanks back the door and runs in to find a young woman with tears in her eyes, apologizing profusely to Blondie who is sitting in the middle of the gas station, surrounded by a puddle of dark liquid. 

Fuck, Dan thinks, and then he swears. “Fuck.” 

Blondie isn’t really sitting, but more or less curled into a fetal position. His arms are curled protectively over his head and face. His legs are drawn closely to his chest. His body is heaving with each gasping breath he sucks in before forcing out a howl. Like an infant crying for hunger, Blondie is sobbing with no restraint. 

Dan looks to the woman. She’s crying too, and looks at him with a pale face from behind her auburn bangs. “Is he yours?”

“What happened?” He doesn’t mean for his voice to sound so sharp, but it does. 

“I-I tripped.” She sniffles. “I rolled my ankle in my heels a-and grabbed onto him out of reflex.” 

Dan looks down at the woman’s feet. The heel of one of her nude stilettos is snapped in half and her knee is bruised. 

“That’s it?”

The woman shakes her head and points to the ground, “I had a coffee. I had just poured it from the machine, so it was hot. It spilled all over him when I tripped, and I think he hit his head on one of the shelves when we fell.” Sure enough, an empty coffee cup sits in the puddle, turned on its side. “I’m so sorry! Please, I--...Is there anything I can do?”

Dan ignores her and kneels down at Blondie’s side. He feels the coffee soak through his jeans where he is kneeling in the puddle. It’s still very warm, but from what he can tell, the cold tile of the floor has probably cooled it down a few degrees. Dan recalls burning his mouth on many occasions when taking a sip of scorched gas station coffee. The pot is always kept over the burner so the coffee stays hot, no matter how old the brew is. 

“Hey,” Dan speaks cautiously, and the moment his arm is in reach, Blondie’s fingers latch on with a grip stronger than it seems his frail body should be capable of. His nails bite into Dan’s wrist, but Dan says nothing to stop him, and pulls his pet closer. “Hey, Blondie, sweetie,” He coos, “Are you hurt?”

Blondie is inconsolable, wailing loudly. He writhes on the floor, trying to worm his way closer to Dan, seeking comfort under his shadow and away from the buzzing green-ish lights of the gas station. Most of the other customers have fled the scene, but those who have decided to stay gather in a small crowd and watch the spectacle from a safe distance. 

“Sir.” A man’s voice barks from behind the registers. “You need to get that thing out of here.”

Dan, feeling a little scatterbrained at the moment, nods but doesn’t respond. He watches his pet tug himself closer and closer. His face, which is mostly hidden from behind his hair, is red  and covered with sweat and tears and… and blood?

“Honey, you’re bleeding. Let me see it.” 

“Sir.” The store clerk says again with warning. “You either shut it up, or get it out of here.” 

“Give me a goddamn second!” Dan snaps and whips his head back to see the cashier challenging him with a cold stare. He spots the crowd that has gathered to watch the show and rolls his eyes. “Blondie.” He says again, and speaks directly into his ear. “Blondie, baby, can you hear me? I need you to nod if you can hear me.” 

The howls continue but Blondie nods rigidly, and Dan catches a better look at his face. His mouth is curled back and his lips are wet with spit. Snot dribbles from his nose, and the tears and sweat form in an amalgamation of perspiration on his face, making his hair stick to his forehead and cheeks, along with the blood that is running down his temple. He’s not focused on anything other than crying and holding onto Dan for dear life. With one particularly heart wrenching sob, Dan begins to understand that Blondie isn’t in pain, and if he is, that isn’t the real reason behind his crying. He’s crying because he is afraid. 

The look in his eyes is that of a terrified and traumatized child, and it nearly makes Dan want to cry as well. All he can think to do at the moment is to get Blondie out of sight. He needs to get him back to safety. 

“Honey, I need you to help me out here, okay? I’m gonna take you back to the truck, but you’ve gotta wrap your arms around my neck, alright? Can you do that?” 

Blondie doesn’t respond, but he scrambles to do as he is told. He crawls up Dan’s shirt and snakes his arms around his master’s neck, and Dan can feel him trembling. He brings himself to one knee, and then uses the display shelf to help pull himself up, and Blondie’s legs hook around his hips like a child clinging on to their mother. 

Though he isn’t sure how he manages to carry both himself and Blondie up into the truck without falling on his ass, Dan heaves a relieved sigh when he shuts the door and they are able to disappear into the sleeper of the truck. There, onlookers can’t gawk and stare, and Blondie is safe from the light. 

Dan tugs at the loose hoodie that Blondie is practically swimming in. “Your clothes are wet. Let's get you changed into something dry.” 

All that is readily available at the moment is a grey t-shirt and a pair of old athletic shorts that Dan used for pajamas last night. Like everything else is that he lends Blondie, they are too big. But it’s the best he can do for now. Dan pulls up on the arms of the hoodie and the young man’s head disappears for a second before his golden hair comes spilling out over his shoulders, and the sweatshirt is discarded on the floor along with the sweatpants. 

Sunlight doesn’t reach very far into the bunk, and it is dim, but Dan can still see the pink marks that cover much of Blondie’s chest, torso, and arms. He’s seen them before. They are splotchy and the patches of skin that are covered in these marks are a different texture from the others; they are leathery and shiny. Dan has noticed them before when they’ve shared the bathrooms in truck stops. Whenever Blondie would step out of the shower with a towel, Dan would always spot them, but he’s never asked about them. Up until now it didn’t seem like it was his place to comment on them. He had assumed it was some sort of skin condition or accident and didn’t want to sound insensitive, but now he worries that the scars might have been caused by something more cruel than he had initially imagined.

“Come here,” Dan pats his lap and leans back into the bunk with his arms open and waiting. Blondie can’t help but keen and shuffle into his master’s lap, where he curls up and continues to weep. He’s managed to calm himself down substantially, but his breath is still stuttering and he can’t stop snivling. But his Master is being so kind. He is holding him, rubbing circles in his back, petting his hair, and kissing his head. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. We’re alright, Blondie.” 

We’re alright. He repeats in his head. We are alright. 

As his head clears and the fog begins to lift from his mind, Blondie is left to think about his outburst. He had humiliated that woman in the gas station. He had humiliated Dan by causing a scene. He had made everyone uncomfortable, and he had been a bad pet. 

“I-” He starts and chokes on his breath, coughing into Dan’s shoulder. The large hand that has been rubbing circles on his back pat him lightly until he catches his breath. Then he tries again. “I-I’m...s-s-so-rr-rry.”

Dan shushes him and presses a kiss to his temple. “It’s okay, honey. You don’t need to apologize. It’s okay. I’m not mad. You’re not in trouble.” 

And just like that, the tears start up again. 

Blondie understands now. He understands that this isn’t a punishment. He understands that his master--that Dan, is being nice. He understands that all this time, Dan has been keeping his distance in an attempt to give Blondie the space he thought he needed. Dan is kind. Dan is gentle. Dan is safe. 

They stay like that until Blondie’s tears dry up and he’s finally able to breathe deeply without feeling a hitch in his throat. The truck rumbles, and the sound of the AC blasting creates a white noise that lulls him into a calm sense of emptiness that comes after crying. Blondie is nearly asleep when he feels Dan shift from underneath him. 

“You stay here.” Dan whispers and tucks a golden strand of hair behind Blondie’s ear. “Stay. Relax. I’m gonna run back into the gas station and make sure everything is under control in there as well. I’ll grab some snacks too, and we can hit the road, but I want you to stay back here and rest. Okay?”

Blondie nods. He has been given an order, and he intends to follow it. Besides, he’s too tired to get up anyhow. 

“Sir?” Blondie croaks, and then blushes. “D-....D-Dan?” 

Hearing his own name from the boy pulls a prideful smile to Dan’s face. “Yes, Blondie?”

“If that woman is in there--the lady who spilled the coffee--will you tell her that I’m sorry for scaring her and being so loud?”

Once again, Dan leans down and presses a soft kiss to his forehead and nods. “Of course I will. And when I get back, we’ll take care of that cut you’ve got on your head, too, okay?”

Blondie can’t recall the last time he has ever felt so weightless, like he’s floating in bed and if Dan leaves the window rolled down, the breeze might just blow him away. He nods and rests his head down on the pillow that smells like his master, which is to say, like soap, cologne, and gasoline. He tries to utter a quiet “thank you” to his master, but the door is already shut, and he is drifting off into a blissful darkness. 

Soon enough, Dan will return, and he will hold Blondie with his strong, yet gentle hands and clean his wounds and tell him “it’s okay,” and Blondie will know that Dan is telling him the truth.

Tag List:

@neuro-whump @deluxewhump @inky-whump @faewhump @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @looptheloup @whimperwoods @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @oracle-of-maybe @galaxywhump

#blondie and dan #Blondie fic #whump fic #whumpee and caretaker #whump rehab #meltdown #triggered meltdown #blondie whump #my work #pet whump #pet whump universe #trucker whump #trucker caretaker

[travelingtheusa]

TENNESSEE

2021 May 4 (Tue) – We went to Oak Ridge this morning.  It was called the Secret City back in the 1940s. Oak Ridge was one of 3 cities where the atomic bombs were produced.  Its population went from 1,000 to 50,000 people in 6 months.  Unfortunately, the museum was closed.  So was the Museum of the Appalachia and the Museum of Tennessee. We got to see a short film at the NPS office, which was a little booth located in the corner of the Children’s Museum.

     We then drove to Knoxville.  There wasn’t much to see but we drove around to look at the city.  We drove into the Old City and past Market Square. The city had lots of old buildings mixed with new construction.  We stopped at Corner 16 for lunch.  It was an excellent choice.  The food was outrageous.  We bought some of the chili to bring home for dinner.

 2021 May 3 (Mon) – We packed up and left Lebanon at 9:30 a.m. It was raining and rained for most of the drive.  About three-quarters of the way to our destination, the skies opened up and it poured. The rain was so heavy we could barely see past the hood.  There was a break in the rain just as we arrived at our new campground – the Windrock State Park Campground in Oliver Springs.  It rained all night long, sometimes ferociously.  There was lightning and thunder and, at times, hail.

     The campground is very high class.  We spotted at least 3 Prevost RVs.  Those are very expensive rigs.  This campground is up in the mountains and is nicely laid out, neat and clean with plenty of space between sites.  There is extra space for ATVs.  This seems to be a favorite spot for ATV riding.  The campground is at the head of many trails leading off into the wilderness. We’ve been watching them come and go for the two days we’ve been here.  Covered in mud and debris and smiling from ear to ear.

 2021 May 2 (Sun) – We drove into Nashville today to go to the Johnny Cash Museum.  His life story was quite interesting.  His parents couldn’t agree on a name when he was born, so they named him J.R.  Years later, when he tried to enlist in the Air Force, they insisted that he had to have a first name so he chose John.  That morphed into Johnny as his musical career took off.  

     It cost us $20 to park for two hours.  The parking lot appeared to be 3 in 1; three different machines for different areas of the same parking lot.  It was strange.  The town was bustling with people.  It was so crowded that we had to step off the sidewalk to go around clusters of folks gathered outside restaurants and shops.  No one was wearing masks outside, although you still have to wear a mask indoors. Looks like things are finally starting to loosen up.  Infections around the country are dropping as people get the vaccine and venues are beginning to open again.  It feels very hopeful.

     We wanted to have lunch in Nashville but it was too crowded.  We hopped in the truck and drove back to Lebanon. First stop was at the number one and number two restaurants, according to Trip Advisor.  But, you guessed it.  Too crowded with long wait times.  We finally wound up at Cracker Barrel.  The gal who checked us in said it was 20 to 30 minutes.  We waited almost an hour.  The food was good, as usual, but the long wait took the bloom off the rose.

     After lunch, we stopped at WalMart to get some groceries.  Then it was a stop at the liquor store to pick up some spirits.  And finally, we stopped at a gas station to fuel up for tomorrow’s trip.  We got back to the campground at around 3:45 p.m.  It started raining later in the evening. Weather forecasters are saying it’s going to rain for next two days.

 2021 May 1 (Sat) – We packed up and after a brief stop at the dump station to empty the tanks, we were on our way.  It was 2-1/2 hours to Lebanon where we are staying in a KOA. This campground is very tight and also on uneven terrain, like our last campground.  It is lucky we have a pull-through site.  It would be very hard to maneuver between all the rigs and on a hillside.

     Once we were set up, we took the laundry to the machines and did the wash.  

2021 Apr 30 (Fri) – We drove to Lexington (still in Tennessee) for lunch at Dan’s Café.  It was a small house converted to an eatery.  It had a 50’s flair to it.  The food was good.

     After lunch, we drove to Parker’s Crossroads and toured the battlefield. The north and south clashed there and had an intense 5-hour battle where neither really won.  The confederates were able to escape and cross the Tennessee River but not before causing havoc for many miles on their mission to disrupt Union rails and resources.  The battlefield is spread out with walking tours and storyboards recounting the activities that went on at that point.  The Visitor’s Center had a video that told the story of the battle.  It was quite informative.

     Next door to the visitor’s center was the Tennessee State Veteran’s Cemetery.  We drove through the grounds.  There were only about 50 graves.  It is a new cemetery just established in 2018.

     After getting some fuel, we stopped at a gas station shoppette to pick up milk.  They had loads of beer and soda to go with lots of snacks, but no milk.  The closest supermarket was 24 miles away.  We drove over the bridge to the next gas station shoppette and were able to find milk there.  Thank goodness!

     We got news that the Washington, D.C. caravan we signed up for has been cancelled.  The caravan was scheduled to take place the first week in July and the plan was to march in the National Parade on Independence Day.  The parade, which is run by the National Park Service, has been cancelled. In addition, several other tourist places around Washington, D.C. will not be open.  Also, the number of rigs signed up for the caravan fell to 11. That’s below the minimum threshold of 15 rigs for the caravan to go.  We will still go to D.C. for the 2 weeks we planned to be there.  So will our friends, Rick & Brenda from Florida. Our other friends, Hank & Brenda from Texas, cancelled out of the D.C. caravan but they will join us on the drive from D.C. to New York for our caravan around Upstate NY.  I sent an email to the manager at Fort Belvoir to tell her we will still be coming for the 2 weeks we reserved.

2021 Apr 29 (Thu) – We pulled up stakes and left Memphis at 10 a.m. It rained during most of the drive. In addition, as accident occurred right in front of us.  The traffic was at a stand still for an hour and a half.  Two tractor trailers and two cars got into it.  One of the cars had 3 kids in it.  Luckily, no one was seriously hurt.  

     We finally arrived at the Natchez Trace RV Park at 1:30 p.m.  It was a little tricky getting into our site around the trees.  The slick mud didn’t help things a bit.  The trailer wouldn’t level right either.  It kept resetting itself and the RV was on a tilt.  

 2021 Apr 28 (Wed) – We dropped off Bonnie’s urine sample to the vet’s office this morning.  The vet came out and told us there is no urine infection.  She also refilled Bonnie’s liver medication for 3 months. I asked for 4 but they only had 3 boxes. Oh, well.  You take what you can get.

     After the vet, we drove to the Blue Plate Café where we met Steve & Diane for breakfast.  Not only was the food good but the company was also enjoyable.  We stayed for over an hour and a half.

     Next stop was at Vitamin Shoppe where I got some vitamins.  Paul is still not feeling well.  He’s still suffering the effects of the vaccine.

2021 Apr 27 (Tue) – I took Paul to lunch (or did he take me?) at Las Tortugas Deli Mexicali.  It was a different kind of set up.  You ordered at the counter from a menu that was in Spanish with English in parentheses. We recognized very few of the dishes. We both wound up ordering sandwiches which were very good.  We brought leftovers home.

     I called the vet’s office where no one knew anything about what I was calling about.  I left a message for Dr. Bates to call.  I called again at 5:30 pm.  The doctor got on the phone and said she left a message today.  There was no message on my phone.  She didn’t know anything about a urine sample so we agreed to bring another one in tomorrow.  She said she would refill Bonnie’s liver medication.  Five months’ worth will be waiting for us when we drop off the urine sample tomorrow.

     Just as we were sitting down to dinner tonight, there came a knock on the door.  It turned out to be Diane.  She and husband, Steve, were on our Utah caravan.  He served as the Weatherman.  They will be staying here in the campground until Friday.  We agreed to get together for breakfast tomorrow.

     Paul is feeling cruddy tonight.  He is feverish and achy.  Guess the vaccine is doing its thing.

      We got a call from a campground in Ticonderoga, NY today.  The manager had looked over the list of RVs I sent her and decided they couldn’t accommodate the larger rigs.  They cancelled our reservation.  What a disaster!!!  Less than 3 months to go and we lose a campground.  We would be lucky to find another place that can fit 22 RVs at this late date during the height of the tourist season.  I felt sick.  Paul jumped on the Internet and did some research.  I tried calling the campground we were going to stay at before the cancelled one to see if we could just extend our stay.  No luck.  They are booked solid for the week after us.  Paul found a place 65 miles east in Peru, NY.  I called and they were able to fit us in.  I sent a list of campers and RV sizes.  Hopefully, things will go OK.  I also got a call from another campground on our caravan saying our deposit was due May 1st or our sites would open up.  I quickly sent off a missive to SMART HQ to send out a check.  That could have been a serious problem!  Luckily, the fates were looking after us.

 2021 Apr 26 (Mon) – We went out to lunch at a BBQ place.  The food was good.  Then we dropped off a urine sample at the veterinarian.  Bonnie is acting like she has a urine infection again. *sigh*  She just can’t seem to get past this thing.  The vet she saw last time was not in, so a tech took the sample and said he would handle everything.  Also pass on our request to refill Bonnie’s liver medication.

     We then went to CVS where Paul got his second COVID shot.  I picked up some Mother’s Day cards.  As we were standing on line, Paul saw a young man wearing a motorcycle helmet put two car chargers in his pocket and walk out.  He yelled at the guy but the clerk, who was ringing up a customer in front of us, just giggled about the incident.  She just shrugged it off.

     I called the vet’s office later to see what happened with the urine sample but nobody had anything to say about it. Guess I will talk to Dr. Bates tomorrow.

2021 Apr 25 (Sun) – It was cold this morning.  The heat pump went off about 2:30 a.m. this morning.  We keep that off because of the noise it makes.  It turns out the furnace was not working.  It looks like the techs did something that made the controls work improperly.  We cannot get the furnace to turn on.

      All Vanleigh personnel were gone early this morning so I posted our issue on Facebook. Sure enough, the tech folks were still monitoring the website and responded to my post.  The tech said he would send us a new program for the Spyder Control Panel.  Apparently, he knows exactly what they did.  Aaaaarrrggghhh!!!  We’ll have it sent to Travis & Sam where we will be in two weeks.

    We packed up and left Hot Springs at 10 a.m.  It was a long drive.  We pulled into a parking lot at a mall around noon to make ourselves lunch.  We arrived at Agricenter RV Park in Memphis around 2:30 p.m.  The host couldn’t find our reservation and it turns out that I had made reservations for a different date.  He was able to clear up the confusion and find us a spot.

    After that lovely RV resort in Hot Springs, this feels like a slum.  Lol.  The RVs are very close to each other in rows with grass that needs cutting, no trees, and stone campsites.  The road is asphalt that needs some repairs.  Several of the campers are long term as we saw 40 lb. and 100 lb. propane tanks outside their RVs.  The cost was higher than I expected but reflects a military discount.  Guess we can expect charges to continue to increase with all the new RVers out there and no new campgrounds to accommodate them.

[jeremystrele]

The Heartbreakingly Beautiful Flowers Of Soho Rose Farm

The Heartbreakingly Beautiful Flowers Of Soho Rose Farm

Creative People

by Sally Tabart

The main house at Soho Rose Farm in Dean, Victoria. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

The main house at Soho Rose Farm in Dean, Victoria. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Soho Rose Farm founder Kristy Tippett amongst the roses. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

First light at Soho Rose Farm. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Kristy bought the business from its original owners in early 2018. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Days at Soho Rose Farm generally start around 4.30am. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Kristy and her husband Brock transferred 8000 individual rose bushes from Drysdale to their farm in Dean. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Looking over a field of flowers. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Kristy with her joyful roses! Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

A field of Dahlias. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Overlooking the farm. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Kristy amongst the roses. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

A perfectly imperfect bunch! Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Although she was a florist before she was a grower, Kristy had never grown flowers on a commercial scale before she took over Soho Rose. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Perfect roses in the early morning light. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Roses illuminated by the dawn light. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Flowers bloom literally everywhere at Soho Rose Farm. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

The farm after a wet summer. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

In the shed where Kristy sorts and arranges her flowers. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Arranging freshly picked roses. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Kristy’s roses bring so much joy to the florist community! Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

A colourful collection. Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

Soho Rose Farm will be having a Valentine’s Day pop up this week, with plenty of fresh homegrown roses to be had! Photo – Dan Roberts for The Design Files.

In early 2018, florist Kristy Tippett and her husband Brock transported 8000 rose bushes from Soho Rose Farm in Drysdale to their farm in Dean, a two-and-a-half hour drive away.

When the couple who had been running the original Soho Rose Farm for the last 15 years decided to sell their property and move on, the new owners of the Drysdale property did not wish to carry on the flower business. All the roses were set to be bulldozed, and the local florist industry was devastated. ‘In what felt like the eleventh hour, my husband and I visited the property and decided to take on the business,’ Kristy recalls. Three years later, and the beautiful flower farm continues to blossom in its new home – literally and figuratively!

During her many years working as a florist for renowned Melbourne florist Cecilia Fox, Kristy had created many beautiful arrangements using glorious garden roses from Soho Rose Farm. ‘Soho’s garden roses were integral to most of the flower arrangements we created, and my love for them runs deep’, Kristy said.

If the Soho Rose Farm story sounds like the plot of a movie, that’s nothing in comparison to Kristy and Brock’s own love story. The couple met when they were both ‘right in the thick of it’ with small kids from previous relationships, and the two families combined. ‘Our five kids have grown up together and we have our youngest, Lincoln, together making it six’ says Kristy. Brock runs his family’s farming business on the same property (they have been growing potatoes there since the late 1880s!) where Kristy runs Soho. ‘Brock and I have the same values when it comes to family life and work. During our busy seasons everyone helps, and we hope that we are teaching our kids valuable life skills and a great work ethic’, says Kristy. ‘I really actually couldn’t do it without him’.

We caught up with Kristy to learn more about her magical roses, and the Soho Rose Farm Valentine’s Day pop up in Ballarat, launching this week!

Hey Kristy! So HOW does one transport 8000 rose bushes the 2.5 hour journey from Drysdale to Dean? 

A lot of logistics! We needed to tag and record every single plant, then we pruned them all back so they weren’t too big to be moved. After many deadends we ended up sourcing a ‘rose digger’ – a purpose built attachment that would attach to the side of our tractor and dig out each plant. Brock, my husband, and 2 staff dug and sorted each plant, packed with mulch and brought back a truckload every night for a week and half. I had a team of 10 – 15 working everyday, planting from 7am – 6pm. Roses are exceptionally hardy plants, but if their roots dry out slightly they will die, it was huge job to keep them hydrated and replant each plant within 24 hours of being dug out. We had an incredible team of people to help us make it all possible!

The paddocks were cattle grazing paddocks prior to the roses being planted there, so the soil is healthy and full of all the good things. We did not need to do much at all to prepare the roses to be transplanted into their new homes.

Did you know what you were doing, or was it a bit of a gamble?

I had no idea what I was doing going into growing flowers on a commercial scale. It was a huge gamble, but with my experience working with flowers I surprised myself by how quickly I picked up the harvesting and processing side of the business.

I am still very much learning about farming, I think it might be a life long learning experience, every season brings with it new challenges, weather, pests, diseases.

What does a regular day look like for you?

It’s always an early start for me, around 4.30 or 5am. After coffee, I do my emails, then as soon as the sun is up I start picking. My staff usually start an hour or so after that and we pick until 10am (never after), then I spend the rest of the day processing flowers, finishing our market orders and making bouquets.

When all that is done, and if there is any daylight left, I will either work in the paddock on our plants or deliver flowers. I take the rest of the evening to spend with my family. After dinner I often might do a late evening pick before a little processing again.

tell Us a little about your upcoming Valentine’s Day pop up in Ballarat this week – what can people expect?

Lots of local, seasonal flowers and all our garden roses! All our special field grown flowers and dahlias, as well as locally grown hydrangea and field blooms from small scale regional farmers. We are really excited to meet members of our community and offer our roses to the public for this special week!

What is your dream for Soho Rose Farm?

To grow flowers that create floral magic! Flowers that embrace the perfect imperfectness and beauty in our environment. I would love to continue to encourage ways that florists and their customers can embrace the natural imperfections that occur in open air, field grown flowers. It is hard to beat the feeling of being stopped in your tracks by a heartbreakingly beautiful garden rose, and knowing you grew it!

Soho Rose Farm Valentine’s Day Pop Up Tuesday February 9th – Sunday February 14th, 10am – 6pm 415 Sturt Street Ballarat, Victoria

For more beautiful roses and seasonal flowers, follow Kristy and Soho Rose Farm on Instagram!

[ultradoux]

2020 Reading List

Because in the end it was a great year for reading! Just a list of the books I read this year, with comments that (maybe) get progessively more boozy as I go on

1. The Historian - Elizabeth Kostova: A really irritating read to start out this year (feels prescient?). Only worth it for the travel log features of places like Istanbul, Amsterdam, and most of Eastern Europe. Even Dracula was completely boring and useless. 

2. Howard’s End - E.M. Forster: Love, love, I will forever whore myself out for bright women acting mildly rebellious in Edwardian England, love

3. Les liaisons dangereuses - Choderlos de Laclos : Pas un seul personnage aimable, c’est magnifique, 10/10

4. The Brothers Karamazov - Feodor Dostoevsky: Did I read this as a flex in early confinement mode? Absolutely. Did I enjoy it? Christ no. If I have to read one more Christ allegory I’m climbing up on that cross myself. 4/5.

5. Chéri - Colette : C’était mignon et trop sucré, comme de la pâte aux amandes. Moins de 100 pages, du coup à avaler dans une gorgée. 

6. Pride and Prejudice (for maybe the 8th time?) - Jane Austen: Substitute “Regency” for “Edwardian” in the comment for Howard’s End and I’ll literally start vibrating. I want to be buried with this book, preferably with 90s Colin Firth, too

7. The Sorrows of Young Werther - Goethe: I go through more sorrows in seven hours of existing than Werther did in his whole life. Pass. 

8. The Epic of Gilgamesh: Ok, fine, I skimmed. You ever try reading a religious text out of respect and interest, not being very religious yourself, only half the text is missing and it’s been written so long ago that most of it is gibberish until you stumble upon a few lines that reach across millennia and sucker punch you? Similar experience. Hard to find a good translation. 

9. Mémoires d’Hadrien - Marguerite Yourcenar : Il m’a fallu une putain de pandémie, mais j’ai en fin (en fin!!!!!!!) fini ce bouquin et qu’est-ce que c’est beau. Yourcenar était un génie, ce livre est son chef-d’oeuvre, je suis tellement content que je n’ai plus à le lire. 100/10.

10. Dune - Frank Herbert: Ok, don’t come at me because it will only frustrate all of us (much like this book did me), but SNOOZE. A+ world building, but God, at what cost?  Timothée Chalamet could respectfully get it, though.

11. Going After Cacciato - Tim O’Brien: This was good? Like in the territory between okay and good? Just like a fine little book, albeit stuck in the middle of the Vietnam War. 

12. The Good Earth - Pearl S. Buck: Is a white American woman from the 30s necessarily the best person to write about rural China? Probably not, even if she was raised in rural China. Honestly, though? Still pretty good. 

13. Tender is the Night - F. Scott Fitzgerald: Do you ever get so desperately bored of pretty, rich 1920s people having pretty, rich 1920s people problems, like being tragically unfaithful or having too much money and not enough problems? No? You might by the end of this book -- but it’ll sound pretty while you’re reading. More engaging than Gatsby, in any case. 

14. Jamaica Inn - Daphne du Maurier: Reading a du Maurier novel is always trippy because the tone is like “I’m a plucky heroine and I’ll give them a piece of my mind!” and then the stakes are literally “I’ll bash your head in and strangle you on the moors and you can’t stop me.” Reading this book is like swigging moonshine in a soft, lace- and chintz-covered tea room. Gotta love it. 

15. L’éducation sentimentale - Gustave Flaubert : C’est bizarre, car mon beau-frère s’appèle Arnoux aussi, mais c’est une belle histoire qui perd un peu de son élan vers la moitié du roman. Je préfère Madame Bovary quand-même.

16. Wishful Thinking - Carrie Fisher: Who doesn’t love Carrie Fisher?

17. Shogun - James Clavell: Is a white Australian man from the 80s necessarily the best person to write about feudal Japan? Probably not (he was not raised in feudal Japan). But it’s well researched and very good. This unfortunate theme in authors did not continue this year, luckily. 

18. Chanson douce - Leïla Slimani : J’adore, j’adore, j’adore. Louise m’a donné des frissons tellement elle faisait peur. Impossible de ne pas se mettre à la place de Miriam; à lire, 100%.

19. A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian - Marina Lewycka: A cute, light read that I stumbled upon in a bookshop (support local businesses, kids! Jeff Bezos will harvest your dreams like one of those shitty vampires from Charmed where they couldn’t afford good special effects!) Some of the writing felt a little more caricatural than anything else, but I liked the main character. Sometimes things can just be fun. 

20. L’ombre du vent - Carlos Ruiz Zafón : !!!!!!!!! Le livre de l’année, l’étoile de l’été, un gout de miel qui a laissé des traces sur mon âme. Que d’amour pour ce livre (et ce n’est pas que le champagne qui parle!)

21. L’étincelle - Tahar Ben Jelloun : Etant l’époux d’un Tunisien, je suis plutôt obligé de tout connaître sur le printemps arabe, et j’ai bien aimé ce livre. Par contre, d’après ce fameux époux tunisien (bisous baby!) ce n’est pas forcément la meilleure ressource pour en parler. 

22. Barbe bleue - Amélie Nothomb : J’aime bien Amélie Nothomb, mais c’est clairement pas son meilleur. Ça donne envie de boire du champagne, par contre. 

23. Les contes de Perrault - Charles Perrault : Ecoutez, je me faisais chier en août, et c’est quand-même pas mal. Merci à Barbe-bleue d’avoir inspiré tous les cauchemars de mon enfance.

24. La princesse Palatine - Christian Bouyer : BOF. Elle aurait été plus intéressante si elle avait eu des vrais problèmes. Profite bien de tes châteaux, betch. 

25. Things Fall Apart - Chinua Achebe: For some reason I started this one years ago and didn’t get past the first few pages, but it was totally compelling this time around? It truly is a wonderful (and tragic) story, completely worth a read. 

26. Rules of Civility - Amos Towles: Katy is the type of person I wish I was, I would look so good in 30s clothes, I just wish I hated NYC a little less (it’s not your fault, NYC [I mean it is but I at least feel bad about it])

27. A Room of One’s Own - Viriginia Woolf: Quintessential! Still a transcript of a lecture though. Prosecco is amazing! 

28. Le horla - Guy de Maupassant : Soyons honnêtes c’est plutôt une nouvelle. 

29. Alcools - Guillaume Apollinaire : J’aime pas la poésie, même quand elle est belle. Meh.

30. Consider the Lobster - David Foster Wallace: I’m so tired of this man being the standard for everything. I mean I know I ended up reading this but what the hell. He was just bored. He read a few edgy novels and he was bored. Come on. That being said, this was an enjoyable read. 

31. Doctor Zhivago - Boris Pasternak: Ok, to be fair this was a PAIN in the beginning, but by the end I had tears?? In my eyes. That very rarely happens. Love it. 

32. Censoring an Iranian Love Story - Shahriar Mandanipour: It would have been better if he was so convinced of what a great writer he was?? What was the point of the weird dead little goblin?? Must we read from countless men every day of our lives?? Must we????

33. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrel - Susanna Clarke: So my Fenian grandmother loved this book, which is why I feel I have no right to go too hard on it, but at the same time if English exceptionalism had a literary form it would be this book (but like that insidious kind of English exceptionalism where it’s all tongue-in-cheek, so if you call them out on it they just mock you for being a rube. I see you, English exceptionalists. You’re only special because you’re on an island)

34. Go Tell It on the Mountain - James Baldwin: Christ I loved this book. Anyone who reads or writes hopes one day to be as lucid as James Baldwin. 

35. The Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett: I was left largely unmoved. 

36. Alexis - Marguerite Yourcenar : Pendant six mois j’ai cherché ce bouquin, et une fois trouvé il m’a déçu. Alexis est gay, voilà le grand choc. 

37. Kafka sur le rivage - Haruki Murakami : Je ne suis toujours pas sûr d’avoir bien compris ce livre ; il faudrait peut-être le relire encore une fois. Mais ça vaut le coup d’être relu encore une fois. 

38. Le mec de la tombe d’à côté - Katarina Mazetti :  Super cute comme roman!! Inattendu, mais ça a super bien démontré le conflit de cultures même à l’intérieur d’un pays. 

39. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley: I should have totally read this in high school, but didn’t. I’d waste your time with a bunch of faux-deep statements about how prescient this was, but I’m about a bottle of prosecco deep and no one really wants that, right?

40. Ninth House - Leigh Bardugo: I am basic for reading this and I am so glad I did; very good stuff, I’m all in, I’m sure UChicago had the same type of shit, love it!! 

41. The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho: I read light on Christmas break, ok? 

42. Watership Down - Richard Adams: I’m not big on anthropomorphic, animal-based stories, but this really went off? These are some hard-ass rabbits, respect.

43. Sharp Objects -  Gillian Flynn: Intense!! Great!! Sharp!!!!!!!!!!

#books 2020 #reading list #franglais #I really love prosecco #Happy New Year!!!! #livres #ce que j'ai lu #bouquins