#not sure if i could've waited another 6 months so i guess i'm lucky

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.129 - Lure Me

Previous Chapter - Masterlist 1; Masterlist 2 - Next Chapter

Simon discovers just how enticing pheromone perfume is...

Author's note: I'm so sorry it took so long to update! I've had this chapter nearly finished about two days ago, but work and life has been so crazy. My job is going well, but I work 6 days a week and only have Sundays off right now and I start my evening part time job this coming weekend. On top of that, my truck decided to give me some more trouble yesterday and now my rear axle is leaking brake fluid. I know how to fix it, but I have to wait until I get paid again to replace all of the seals because I refuse to take it to a mechanic and pay $500 for something I could've done myself when the parts I need are less than $20. Rant over! Enjoy this chapter heavily inspired by the TikTok trend where girls put pheromone perfume on to see how their men react. Kiera and Simon really needed a chapter together. :)

*

With a motivated gaze, Kiera entered the drug store in search of a pregnancy test. Although she wasn't sure she was pregnant again, after the fact they had been trying for the past couple of months, she wanted to be sure. Once she had located the tests, she grabbed two boxes of different brands before making her way to the register, seeing her best friend who had coincidentally decided to stop at the same store on her way home from work, except she was after the clearance decor instead of a pregnancy test. "Always buying decorations, I see." Kiera teased, watching Kristen turn around in surprise once she recognized Kiera's voice.

“I can’t help it! They’re on clearance!” Kristen giggled, taking the receipt from the cashier before standing back to let Kiera place her items on the belt. “Hmmm, whatcha got there?” She arched her brow.

“Don’t act dumb, I told you me and Simon were trying for another.”

“Mhm. I haven’t talked to you in a week – didn’t know if things had changed since then.”

“Well, I can fix that. Are you free tomorrow?”

“Now don’t you act dumb,” Kristen giggled. “I’m always off on the weekend and lucky for you, I have no plans.”

“How about you come over tomorrow? Simon is taking Baler hunting and I’ll be at the house with the kids. We’ll throw on some movies and make some food that we’re not supposed to have.”

“Sounds like a plan! Is your mom going to be around? I haven’t seen her since the funeral—”

“I’ll invite her, too. She’s been asking about you,” Kiera assured her, smiling warmly at the cashier while she retrieved her receipt and bag. “Thank you.”

“Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

“Oh, meet me at my car. I have something I wanted to give you!” Kristen chimed, the pair exiting the store before Kiera joined her by walking to her SUV, watching her best friend smile with glee before retrieving a small purple bag from the floorboard of the passenger seat. “Crown Royal?”

“No, you stupid bitch!” She teased. “Clearly, you’re still an alcoholic if you think every purple bag is a Crown Royal bag!”

“A sex toy?”

“No! Open it!”

Kiera breathed a laugh as she did as she was told, opening the bag to pull out a small box, opening the box itself to remove the vial of what looked like lip gloss. “Can you guess what it is now, smartie-pants?”

“Uh… Lip gloss?”

“It’s pheromone perfume.”

“Wha?”

“You know… It’s been going around online for the longest time. Girls get it and put a bit of it on so their men go nuts for them. I figured you’d like to try it and see if Simon notices it.”

“Oh, he notices everything,” Kiera giggled. “But thank you. I wonder if it legitimately works.”

“Only one way to find out,” Kristen winked. “Let me know how it works! It worked for me!”

“I definitely will.”

*

Once Kiera had arrived home, she removed the vial of perfume from her purse, inspecting the instructions before rolling a spot behind each of her ears and on the inside of her wrists, closing the container before putting it back into her purse before making her way inside the house.

As if her hormones couldn’t have spiked enough at the thought of Simon being drawn into her scent like a moth to the flame, the sight of him alone nearly drove her into a wall.

There he was, lounging on the couch with Jacob in his arms, the house warm as Simon preferred to lounge around the house shirtless while wearing black sweatpants, the hem of his boxer briefs peeking from behind the elastic of his waistband, his tattooed forearm highlighting the tight muscle tone of his arm, the muscles tight as they contracted while holding Jacob close, his shoulder broad, and his hair lazily swept back by his fingers. Fuck, if I’m not pregnant after I take this test, I better be by the week’s end, she sighed to herself, forcing herself to concentrate and pretend that she didn’t purposely put herself into his primal desire once he smelled the new scent on her. “Hey, babe.”

His head turned to look at her from over the top of the couch, grinning at the sight of her finally arriving home to him.

“Hey, love. Your mum said she’d be over around eight. She told me she was bringing over a casserole and a cheesecake.”

“I’ll make some sides, then,” She nodded, setting her purse on the kitchen island. “Where’s Baler?”

She heard Simon scoff before standing to his feet, gathering both twins by each of his arms before bringing them into the kitchen to see their mother, his senses for primal desire heightening once he agreed with himself that something was different about his wife. She’s still just as beautiful, she still looks the same, but a part of me wants to bite a chunk out of her – fuck she smells so good.

“He’s at the barn,” He huffed, forcing himself to fight the monstrous urge that was beginning to boil in his loins. “That boy of ours is going to be the death of us, love.”

“Why? What did he do?”

“Where should I start?” He huffed, securely sitting Jacob into the highchair while Kiera did the same, placing a kiss to Evie’s temple before securing her into the highchair, curling her index finger against the baby’s lip to collect the loose saliva that pooled there. “Caught him and the other wranglers playing some stupid game of chicken with a bloody bull—”

“Cowboy Poker?” Kiera scoffed, surprised. “Is he okay?!”

“His pride is more hurt than his body. Well, probably both,” Simon shrugged. “Busted lip and bruised ribs, but he’ll be alright. A little more chore as a punishment until late then getting up early in the morning to go hunting. It’ll do him some good.”

“What else did he do?”

“Caught him drinking whiskey. Should’ve made him drink a half of another bottle to make him sick so he won’t do it again because if I just punish him for it, he’ll keep doing it.”

“As much as I agree, he’s also a teenager, but he has some brains in that head of his and I think he’s smart enough to know right from wrong.”

“I hope you’re right, love,” He breathed, his gaze watching her as she proceeded to do minor chores around the kitchen, unaware that her husband was watching her every move like a hawk, her intense scent nearly driving him mad. “Something is… different about you.”

“Just another day,” She giggled. “What do you think is different?”

“I can’t put my finger on it. Don’t take me wrong, but you… You smell so bloody good.” He huffed, stepping closer to her, the minor scent driving him further and further over the edge, her playful body language being no less than a tease at this point.

“I take it you like my new perfume,” She hummed. “I’ve had it since before we met. I just never wore it until now.”

“I can assure you, love – if you would’ve worn that the day we met, I would’ve gotten myself killed in the line of fire or have had you bent over my cot in the barracks far before I ever came home with you.” He breathed, his nose now pressed to the thin skin behind her ear, inhaling the divine scent that increased his heartrate.

“Is that so? I would’ve liked that…”

His arms were on either side of her, his palms pressed firmly against the edge of the counter, his veins protruding and an erection threatening to push against his sweatpants. “Are you putting a spell on me, love?”

“Maybe…” She hummed, giving him further access to her neck, chills erecting along her spine when she felt his warm lips press into the hot skin beneath them.

“Who am I kidding – you’ve had a spell on me since day one, but this, whatever this is that’s drawing me to you more than I have before – fuck, I don’t even know what I’m talking about right now.”

“What’s going through that mind of yours, babe?” She breathed.

“Do you want to know the descriptive version or the simplified reason?” He replied lowly.

“I think I want to hear what’s really going through my husband’s mind…”

“Right now, I really want to put the kids to bed and bend you over this counter…”

“Well, you can’t do that, babe.”

“What’s stopping me?”

“I guess I have to remind you now that you said my own mother is bringing a casserole over…”

“That’s what rooms are for, love,” He whispered, smirking against her skin while his erection subtly pressed against her rear.

Although Simon was nearly driven wild by her scent alone, he hadn’t known about the effect he was having on her, too. His shirtless torso, his tattoos, the way his own smell lingered in her senses, soon finding herself pressing her thighs together. “I’m going to put the kids in the nursery.” He spoke softly in her ear, leaving a sloppy kiss behind on her neck before leaving her flustered against the counter.

“I-I’ll help you,” She nearly panted, picking up Evie while Simon grasped Jacob, taking the drowsy infants to their cribs to nurse on a pacifier. Although the twins had their “moments” of consistent energy, they always seemed to settle down between the hours of seven and nine, which worked out perfect for Kiera and Simon as they both loved to have structure as well as a routine.

After they spent a few moments settling the twins into their crib for the night, Kiera softly whispered a “Goodnight, babies, mommy loves you,” before dimming the lamp on the nightstand that separated their cribs, meeting Simon at the doorway, nearly flustered at how he leant against the frame, his arm extended above his head to support his weight, nearly towering over her as she approached… nervously?

“Why so nervous, love?” He smirked.

“You’re just so… tall.” She breathed.

“Took you nearly four years to come up with that solution?” He teased, arching his brow, letting his hands fall to rest on her hips, gently pulling her into him, the pair oblivious to how their heartrates soon matched the other.

“Keep your hands on me, Simon.”

“I can do that.” He replied softly, leaning his head down to claim her lips with his while he selfishly grabbed at her ass, giving it a firm slap before he effortlessly lifted her onto him, pleased at how her legs wrapped around her waist, groaning into her mouth when he felt her tug on the roots of his hair. “Fuck.” He groaned.

“Take me to our bed,” She whispered, her tone nearly dominant, which Simon loved.

“Feeling cheeky are you?”

“Just a little bit…” She hummed, feeling Simon’s grip on her loosen once he had gotten them close to the bed, smirking when he felt Kiera’s palms press firmly against his chest, taken aback by how she seemed to effortlessly push him onto the bed, straddling his hips once he was completely under her, his hands resting on the top of her thighs. “Do you know what it does to me when I come home and you’re walking around shirtless?”

“I won’t do it anymore.” He teased.

“I didn’t say that, Simon, shut up.”

“Mm, say that again, love.”

“Have a kink for a dominant woman?”

“Fuck yes I do,” He winced, chills decorating his chest and arms when her palm rested on the base of his neck, right against his collar bone. “I’ll be on my bloody knees for you, love.”

“It’s me who’s going to be on my knees,” She breathed, leaning forward to press a kiss to the area beneath his jaw, rolling her hips against his erection, pleased to hear a whine leave his throat. “Watch me, Simon.”

He nodded, his brown eyes piercing into her hazel irises as he watched her sit up on his waist, crossing her arms across her torso as she slowly lifted the thin fabric of her blouse, revealing the maroon lace that drove Simon crazy at the sight. Of course, he had seen her in lace before, but maroon? His erection was almost painful at the sight. Fuck, I’m going to rip that off of you!

“No touching… yet,” She giggled, playfully slapping his hands away, watching him smirk at her authoritative tone. “Hands above your head, baby.”

“Yes, ma’am,” He smirked, enjoying the feeling of her hands forcing his above his head. “What if these so happen to leave their designated post?”

“Then I guess you can go the rest of the night guessing what I was going to do,” She arched her brow. “Keep those hands where they are.”

He breathed heavily, closing his eyes briefly to enjoy her touch, his former insecurities and fears no longer a part of his vocabulary every time her fingers grazed over his ribcage, touching him to her own pleasure instead of his. When he felt her breath hovering over his dripping shaft, he whined when he finally felt her lips envelope his sensitive tip. He wanted to touch her – so bad – but a part of him wanted to continue hearing her assert her dominance with him, but another part of him didn’t want to feel the absence of her hot mouth around him just to punish him for disobeying her. Just bloody wait until I get my hands on you, love, he huffed to himself.

Her head bobbed slowly as she took him with comfort, not once did she gag like before, the only sounds filling the room was his whimpering and the wet sounds of her saliva mixing with his excitement. “Fuck,” He hissed, breaking her rule by bringing his hands down to tangle in her hair, nearly biting his own lip when she abruptly separated her mouth from his shaft to force his hands back up over his head, Simon grinning in satisfaction at her actions. “Cheeky.”

“What did I tell you?” She whispered.

“I heard what you told me, but I don’t play by the rules, love,” He groaned, his eyes fluttering when he felt her core sliding against his shaft, teasing him while her hands stayed pressed against his wrists to keep them in place, the pair groaning in unison when they connected intimately. “Fuck, you just fucking wait until I get a hold of you, darling.”

“I love when you threaten me with a good time,” She panted, rolling her hips against him, taking him deeper and deeper with every move of her hips, the lace from her lingerie subtly rubbing against him. “Big, strong man like you under me… Now that is something to get off on.” She teased.

“You can use me any time your little heart desires, love,” He breathed into her mouth when she had finally rewarded him with a kiss, his arms snaking around her waist once she had granted him permission to touch her, his hand grasping the lace thong that still dressed her hips and forcing it to the side, giving him better access to thrust his hips upward into her. “How special was this little number on you?”

“I can always buy another one if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” He smirked, leaning up to toss her onto her back, sitting back on his knees while his grasp on her lace underwear was effortlessly ripped free of her skin by his stone grip. “Have to get this shite out of my way.”

“And to think I thought you loved this on me.” She giggled, her mouth agape when he entered her again, legs wrapping around his waist while his hand cupped her jaw, forcing her mouth to be in symmetry with his.

“Oh, I do love it, but I love it even more when I get to rip it off,” He hissed, his grip tightening slightly beneath her jaw. “This spell you’ve put on me… Fuck.”

“Worked hard on it.” She giggled.

He wanted to reply, but the way she gripped him was too good to risk a sentence over. The way her nails dug into the thick muscle of his back, how her calves tightened around his thighs, the way her hips were at the perfect angle for him to feel every ridge of her core, how her lips placed such loving and encouraging kisses to his throat and under his jaw. “Choke me, Simon.”

“Tell me if I hurt you, love.”

She nodded, gasping when the warmth of his hand cupped her entire throat, squeezing either side softly before adding more pressure, the blood rushing to her head before the sensation of his thrusts became intense with pleasure, her heartrate increasing with excitement, unable to help but think about how many tracheas he had crushed with the same hand, yet it was gentle with his wife and children.

And that thought alone sent an adrenaline rush to her very core, the intense wave of an immediate orgasm pulling him into a pure wave of ecstasy that couldn’t be stopped. His hips were angled perfectly against her, thrusting relentlessly into her as if his life depended on it, the headboard banging against the wall while his hands cupped the crown of her head as she gasped through her orgasm, his soon to follow when he felt her walls spasming around him as her legs tightened around him, inviting him to mark her as his.

Just like every time.

Once he had come down from his high, his hot breath fanned against her neck, replacing the subtle red mark from his grip on her neck with apologetic kisses, feeling the burning from her scratches on his back forming welts. “Fuck—” He breathed, pressing his nose against the skin behind her ear, still smelling the scent of the perfume that had lured him further into her spell of hormones onto him, wanting to fuck her through the mattress every time he smelled it.

And he’d willingly accept that fate.

Their skin was layered with a thin sheen of sweat, panting against each other to catch their breath while Simon continued to press soft and heavy kisses to her collarbone and base of her neck, his heart thumping with excitement once more when that familiar smell made its way into his senses, shocked to feel that he was still hard after having just climaxed. “I don’t know what you’re doing to me, love.”

“Is that a problem?” She giggled, feeling the tip of his nose resting against the skin below her jaw.

“The only problem is that I’ve already came and still hard.” He breathed a chuckle.

“You know how you should fix that?”

“Hm?”

“Fuck me again.” 

#simonghostriley #simonriley #simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #callofduty #simon riley x oc #call of duty modern warfare 2 #ghost riley #simon riley x og female

[zardinthebrokenatlas]

This is the first chapter to a book I've got posted elsewhere. It was originally requested 2 years ago but I liked it a lot and decided to make it a book :3

Today's been so boring.. I swear I'll die from just boredom. It's an annoying day. Nothing's happening here in the shop. No customers, no more of us 'tinies' being bought. I guess that's a good thing.. But the easiest way to escape is to be bought. This place is stupid. I wish I could just get out of here.. Not just myself but my distant pals. The ones on the shelves beside mine. Ging and Kila. They are my neighbors and my absolutely crazy friends. Though we may never meet face to face and only rely on voices, I'd say we like family. Always coming up with plans to get out of here and running free in the world again. Well. I guess that's all I have to write today. Time to sit around and wait for the place to close for the night.

  ~ logged on a day, sometime in the year. I don't give a crap.

  I heaved a sigh, popped my journal into my small pack, and leaned against the back of the cage wall. Such a boring day. There were, like, three people that actually came to the shop today. They didn't even buy anything, instead, they just looked around. Why can't they just close now? Ain't nobody coming this late in the day.

  Would it really matter if anyone did anyway? Sure, they'd look around and whatever, but it's so doubtful that anyone is going to buy scrawny little tiny people anymore unless it's for some stupid kid that'll pull you limb from limb because it thinks you're a flipping doll. What kind of psychopathic generation is being raised? Somebody needs to teach discipline.

  My thoughts sure are productive today. Thinking about kids again. Just what I needed.

  Slowly, I forced myself to stand and hobble over to the glass pane that let me stare out into the 'amazing' shop I was trapped in. I stopped directly in front of the clear wall, pressing my face up against it as if it proved how devastatingly bored I was.

  I've lived here for about 11 months now and have grown completely neutral to this place. The employees find me as a 'handful' apparently. Probably because I've been bought and returned many, many times. It's definitely because of my strategy. Depending on the person that 'adopts' me, I refuse to talk or I'll talk to them all the time without shutting up. Course it's dangerous and I do indeed have scars from over-tempered people. It's so very easy to make people annoyed.

Though I would say I'm lucky to never have had to deal with a kid. So far, I haven't come up with any strategies for those vermin. I'd rather eat a rat leg than get trapped in a room with a kid.

  Heaving another exaggerated sigh, I pulled my face away from the glass and tottered to my little endearing house. I dusted a pile of shavings to heap on one side of me before plopping down on the cold metal. Maybe I could attempt to draw again. I'm not great at it.. but practice makes perfect, right?

  Hesitantly, I reached for my pack and pulled out my notebook. Sure. It was a journal, but I had nothing else to use. Plus, the semi-straight lines worked like a grid of sorts, and, just like that, I peeped my head out the front of my 'castle' and began to draw what I saw.

  Though the drawings were absolutely horrific, I managed to get a shelf, the cashier, the rack next to the door, and a bit of the manager drawn before somebody walked in. Odd. A customer.

Closing my book and packing it away to safety, I glanced up at the clock. 6:55. Just about time to close and this.. weirdo decided to show up. Firstly, this guy wore those slick new 'airpod' things and extremely nice clothes, despite it being just a hoodie and jeans. His vibe was like one of those distinctive rich kids from the old t.v. reruns that played during lunch break.

  Even though it made no difference, I scoffed at the college kid. It didn't really matter and I could've cared less, but for some reason, this guy ticked me off. Yet.. I did begin to wonder what that kind of person would want from such a junky store like this one. Maybe supplies or something.

  Wrong. The next thing I knew, I was being taken away from my cage. To be fair, I should have been used to being handled by now, but no matter how much I've tried, I have just always hated it. Probably always will.

  My struggle was cut short as I was dropped into a small cardboard box. Of course, it was one of those awfully shaped ones and had holes poked through the sides, but it was still an awful place to be. A shaky sigh left me as I tried to convince myself that they were just cleaning the cage or something but then the lid was reopened and another borrower like myself was roughly dropped in.

Our eyes met and I could tell we were both confused. This was the first time I'd ever been so close to another of my species. Well, at least since I was stowed away in this store.

It was a young teen boy like myself, but he had red hair, freckles, bright green eyes, and a decent-ish style of clothes.

  "Who are you?" He asked. His voice quaked with fear, but I could still hear the familiarity in his voice. My 'neighbor' from the cage.. I could've easily been wrong, so I held back on calling him any name, instead, I inhaled a shaky breath.

  "I'm Reb. Reb Hilk. Who are-" Before I could even finish the question, he had already practically flung himself at me to get a hug which I returned.

  "It's me, Ging! I can't believe it's really you!! I never thought we'd ever see each other.." His voice cracked, taking me aback at his sudden vulnerability.

  "Neither did I.."

  The moment was interrupted as the box shifted roughly before being opened again. Two more tinies were put in. At first, I had figured that was all of us that were going to be taken, but pretty soon there were roughly eleven of us all together, huddling in groups. Most were terrified, but some were curious, looking out the holes.

  A part of my protectiveness kicked in and I began to pace. This situation had suddenly become much more worrisome. Where were we going? Were more of us going to all get crammed together? There were too many questions and nowhere to get any answers. All I knew is that we had to stick together and figure it out, otherwise we might lose each other.

  The movement continued, shifting from being abrupt to absolutely nothing. What was happening? Were we being bought? Was the store shutting down? Were we going to be.. exterminated?

  I shook my head at the last awful thought. That couldn't have possibly been what was happening. Right..?

  Another shaky sigh escaped my throat as I joined a small group that were huddled together and Ging followed suit. In all my years of living, I had never seen such fear-stricken faces. It panged my heart, but the only thing I could do was comfort. For the first time, I felt helpless.

  In an attempt to locate where we were going, I glanced towards the holes. It didn't help much since the sun had set completely. Of course it had. Lovely.

  Soon enough, after waiting in the dark for roughly twenty minutes, there was suddenly a lot of noise followed by a lot of movement. The box was lifted, a little too fast, and was carried somewhere else.

  As if thinking the same thing, none of us made a single noise, allowing the fear levels to rise again. That's when it dawned on me. Kila, my other neighbor, wasn't with us. Was she not taken? Maybe that was a good thing..

  Then, after what felt like an eternity, the box was set on a table of some sort and someone was messing with the box as if they had no idea how to open it. The tension rose and the silence became deafening. All I could do was hold my breath as the lid slowly fell open.

  Instead of being met face to face with a trash can, like I previously thought, we were greeted by the college kid. My fear was replaced with a sudden stubbornness. I couldn't help but glare up at him. Of course, it was him. He just had to take us away from where we were and no man in their right thoughts would buy so many tinies for pets. He must've had some other plan. Something much worse.

  Just as the guy reached his hand in to take some of us out, I quickly interfered by backhanding him as hard as I could on the finger. Surprisingly he backed off.

  "Fuck off." I growled. The look he gave me was utterly pitiful, but I didn't care. Protectively, I stood my ground in front of my kind, as a defender.

  There was such a cold silence I felt like I could hear the hair on my neck stand on end, but it didn't last long as someone else suddenly scooped the group up and out of the box from behind me. The fear seared through me as I spun around on my heels. It was such a swift motion, I tripped over my own legs.

  "Hey-" My voice was cut off as my chest collided against the ground, knocking the breath out of me. I could hear Ging calling for me, but I couldn't seem to catch my breath before I also was lifted out of the box.

  After I regained myself and thoughts in that small moment, I began to thrash around in the hands of my new captor. It was definitely the one who I just had a stare-down with.

#gianttiny #giants #gt fluff #gt community #gt #sfw giant tiny #giant/tiny #borrowers #gt writing #short story #gt story #my gosh #i enjoy this #hehehe #i might add more later #who knows #:3

[seahdalune]

me when the new The Underground episode is i and um so what are the

#CRYING #INTERVIEW CORE NOO #even more is PROTOCOL CORE NOOOOOOO #don't understand everything and anything but it's ok someone smarter than me will feed an explaination to me anyways <3 #i binged the entirety of The Underground about.... 2 weeks or so ago? #not sure if i could've waited another 6 months so i guess i'm lucky #except i have another few month to wait for the next episode #oh well they giveth and they taketh amirite

[goldbscurity]

So my last post here was on 12th Feb 2018.

Today is 14th Feb 2021, it's been 3 years.

Let me leave another digital footprint about where I've been, what's been happening, my life updates, and how many dark days I've successfully past to be here hahahaha

1. I'm 24. Well technically about to be 25 this year but hey, still 10 more months let me not think about becoming a quarter of decade first, ok?!

2. I've fucking graduated! Hahahaha yeah I have a BS now, B.Sc for sure. Bachelor of Science. On 2019. Finally huh? Twas some roller coaster of uni life. I kinda missing it now tho🙄

3. Currently working, on my second job!

Gotta say I'm lucky, blessed, whatever but clearly lucky enough to found a job right after I started looking for one, which is 2 months after the graduation ceremony. It wasn't a glamorous job at all, but I loved it. And I love my job now as well. I can say it's my life, my whole life😂😂 as maybe I can predict ever since I'm a child that I'll grow up into a workaholic kind of person lol #capricorn at its best quality ✨✨ And hey, I'm doing pretty great! Career ladder wise, salary ladder wise, I'm doing okay. Of course my current salary is far from my ideal salary if count based on my education background, my vision board and my stuck up personality, but anyway all good all great, considering I'm now living in the middle of a pandemic.

4. Yeah right, I should've mentioned this on the first update. It's pandemic year!!!! Corona now ru(i)ns the world, est.2020. Crazy, crazy year. People working from home, people got laid off, people got sick and dead, the world turns upside down. But let's be grateful that we all still alive and thriving and still have tomorrow to looking forward.

5. I'm still friends with my best friend, and I still like them as much as I like my dog or well I like them more and more every day ngl I love em and I feel lucky grateful to find em🥺🥺

6. I see the reason I started this tumblr initially was for me, a cold hearted, heartless, emotionless, denial-lover, avoidant person to LEARN to pour out my emotions for the sake of the mental health and to recover from...uhm, brokenheart hahah🙄 I see the last time I post here I said I've moved on but let me tell you that I still sometimes missed him and there was this never ending curiousity of what could've happened and what went wrong.

Now, 3 years later, let me tell you that I am now has been Ex-Free for a whole good year!!!!!!!! ✨✨✨✨ I think it's all started in the middle of 2019 and it continues til now.

I even met someone last year that I instantly feel connected (well, idk the other end I'm not responsible for their feelings) let's we all hope that this will end well, shall we? Because I really like him

See, it's a LOT OF WORK AND OBSTACLES I'VE OVERCAME to finally being an individual who recognises its own feelings and being okay with it. Proud of me💐

7. It's not all rainbows and sunshine, there were lots of bad days, especially those near my period days.

Called it PMDD, I now become very close with that bitch. Definitely has a strong effect on me, makes me 100x bitchier than usual. Not only that, but some times also kick me right at the gut and throw me into the deepest hole very near with borderline depression. But that's another story to tell. The last few months has been good tho, the symptoms is no longer worse maybe except this month lmao.

I started to think whenever I overworked myself, put myself in the middle of a very packed schedule with a messy sleeping pattern and unhealthy food, the symptoms will only getting worse. So I guess my homework is to balance it all out. No big deal..

8. Last but not least, I lost a couple of friends/aunties/grandpa this last 3 years.

Started in 2019, on April, suddenly a friend of mine from the secondary school died from lung cancer (may he rest in peace, we all really sorry for being such a jerk). Pretty shocking, kind of throw me off.

And then another friend suddenly got sick and he died on August, literally 2 weeks after we visited him in the hospital. Bone cancer. This one friend was closer to me, his house even just a couple metres away from mine. Last fun we had was when we were on a small reunion and he picked me up, and on the way home he told me and my other friend that his legs occasionally felt numb and weak. We joked that it was the age factor hahahah we had no idea that it was actually cancer. It was on May, if I'm not mistaken. We knew he had cancer by June/July. Consider him as a good friend, good human. Yeah anyway, his death literally surprised me and I was really really sad. Well, fella, I hope you both found a safe place in heaven and continuously play your music for God just like you did on your time on earth. We love you both, we will never forget you.

Lastly, my grandpa died on September 2020. Also two or three weeks after I visit him? Couldn't remember. Haven't paid a visit to his grave since it's pandemic season, I can only watch virtually the moment he was on the casket and buried. Hope you'll always watching us and guide us, grandpa!

Oh wait I hate to end my story with a sad shit, so...yeah just.......maybe........wish me luck with this...new person... I've found.... attractive..........cs I really...like him........hahahahhahahahahahahahahaha I'm soooo cheesy buh bye

#capricorn #self journey #journey #reflection