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httpnxtt · 4 years

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Hold That Thought - Reid x Reader

Author’s Note

Just your friendly neighborhood crime junkie here :’) This is my first writing, basically ever, so I’m super nervous. But, my discord babies are always sending snippets of their fics and I always boost them up like a true mom friend so I figured I would give it a shot.

Summary

Ever get so close to doing something that would change your life for something to just… ruin the moment?

Warnings:

As much as angst kills me, probably way too much angst :’)

Spencer Reid x BAU Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4k

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“Wheels up in 30.” Hotch said, storming out of the conference room. The team sat for a moment, all staring at each other for a moment, silently questioning whether they should follow Hotch or Y/N. Slowly, Reid got up to find you, leaving the team behind. He knew this case hit hard for you, probably Hotch as well.

“Hello?” Reid questioned as he slowly pushed open the door to the women’s restroom. He could hear your sniffles from crying across the room, but needed to make sure no one else was there in fear of making them awkward that the gangly man was in the ladies room. Confirming the vacancy, he stalks over to the last stall, slowly knocking on the door. “Y/N, I know you’re in here.”

“I’m okay, Spence. Really. I just needed a minute.” you claim, hearing your raspy voice betraying you.

“You’re a really bad liar… can I come in?” He whispers. Slowly, you reach up from the floor, unlocking the stall, immediately retreating to the floor with your knees to your chest, head in your hands. Spencer slowly retreats to the floor as well, as much as the thought of the bacteria and germs want to push into his mind.

“I know this is hard for you. It’s okay if you want to sit this one out, jellybean.” He whispers to you, wrapping his arm over your shoulders to pull you in. “No one would judge, and I’ll make sure no one questions it.” comforting you, slowly rubbing circles into your arm attempting to relax you. Spencer Reid, your best friend since the day you joined the BAU, knew anything and everything when it came to everything in the world, you included.

Shortly after joining the BAU, your team received an extra long case leaving you all exhausted. Just after finishing the paperwork, you noticed it had started pouring. You walk over to your desk, gathering your belongings to meet Dr. Reid at the elevator to drive home together as you happened to live in the same building. Ever since you were a little girl, storms always made you panic. You loved the rain, but the thunder and lighting scared you to no end. Driving home with Spencer, you noticed the rain start to pick up, indicating an impending storm. Reid noticed you subtly retract back into your seat, closing your eyes. As he pulled into the parking lot, he noticed you release a shaky breath, gathering your belongings. Gathering his own belongings, you guys braced yourselves to run from the car into the building, a good 50 feet to go. Reaching the building, Spencer stifled a giggle as he watched you wring out your hair, suddenly drenched from the storm. You quickly looked up at him, trying to hide the panic in your eyes, immediately retreating your eyes back to the floor.

‘Are you okay, Y?N?” He asks, hesitating to rest a hand on your shoulder. But, as you debate responding, the elevator dings, signalling its arrival. You stepped in, quickly pressing the button for your floor, Reid following you in. He looks at you, expecting an answer during the short ride up.

“I’m okay, Reid. Really. Just tired.” You lamely try to excuse your behavior, unable to admit your fear to your colleague. The elevator doors open on your floor, you scurried off to your door, fumbling with your keys. Reid follows suit, right down the hall. As he opens his door, he calls to you.

“Whatever you say, Y/N. Goodnight.” He says, looking at you with worry.

“Yeah, goodnight Spencer.”

Inside your apartment, you quickly rid of your work clothes, hopping straight into have a quick shower. While washing your hair with your lovely vanilla mint shampoo, you heard a loud crack of thunder. You quickly rinse the soap out of your hair, rushing out without conditioning. You opted to use the shitty leave-in conditioner you save for moments like this. Quickly putting on your fuzzy pink pajama shorts and an extremely oversized One Direction tour shirt, you climb into your bed. As your head hit the pillow, you try to lull yourself into a sleep. Slowly drifting, you hear a loud crack of thunder again, springing up out of bed. Grasping onto your childhood stuffed animal, you curl up under your covers, trying to think of anything but the storm. Quickly after, you hear not one, but two loud cracks in succession, leading you to the brink of tears. Grabbing your phone, you sprint down the hall from your apartment, banging on Spencer’s door.

“Y/n?” you see Spencer as he opens the door, his curls going every which way on his head, black pajama pants with little aliens all over them hanging almost too low on his hips, with nothing covering his torso, showing you his slightly defined chest and his small yet toned arms. You see him look at you with confusion, quickly shifting to worry as he takes in your tear stained cheeks. “What happened? Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I-” your voice falters, betraying you. “I’m sorry Spencer, I shouldn’t have woken you.” You turn on your heels, trying to quickly leave feeling like a burden. But as you go to leave, you feel his soft hand grasp your arm. Gently, he pulled you back, turning you to face him.

“Do you want to come in and talk about it? I can make tea.” He quietly offers. You slightly nod, him moving out of the doorway to let you through. “What kind of tea do you want? I don’t have much, I usually stick to coffee.” He says as he walks to the kitchen.

“Coffee is okay with me.” you say. You heard him stifle another laugh from the kitchen, returning with two large mugs. He passed one to you, made perfectly with much too much sugar and much too much cream… just the way you like it. “Thanks.” He slinked down onto the couch next to you, slowly sipping his coffee. Even at three in the morning this boy had an extreme caffeine addiction.

“Are you going to explain what happened or do I have to profile you?” He says, showing you a small smile.

“You wouldn’t dare break the team rule, Reid.” You shot back. You looked down at your mug. “Promise you won’t make fun of me?” you quietly ask him, afraid of the ridicule of the experienced FBI agent sitting next to you.

“Pinky promise.” He stuck his left hand out to you, reaching his pinky in your direction. You hook your left pinky to link with his much bigger finger, giggling.

“I sort of panicked because of the storm.” You whispered to him.

“You’re afraid of the rain?” He asked, looking at you softly.

“Not rain. I love rain. But the loud cracks of thunder and the flashes of lightning scared me. Always have.”

“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s actually called astraphobia. Surprisingly enough, 2.1% of the population actually suffer from astraphobia. Although that’s a completely normal fear as it can be scary and although rare can be deadly.” he rambled on statistics of your fear, making you feel comfortable. “At least you’re not an FBI agent afraid of the dark.”

You giggled at his admission.

“I’m sorry to put you out like this Spencer. I just panicked and didn’t want to be alone.” you say, continuing to drink your coffee. “I know you were hoping to get sleep.”

“It’s okay, Y/N. I don’t mind. I wasn’t getting much sleep anyway.�� He smiled with you simply smiling in return. “Do you want something to eat? I don’t have much but I can see what I do have…” He trailed off, embarrassed by his lack of items in his kitchen. You get up, trailing behind him to the kitchen. He rummages through the cabinets to find something sweet as you look at the pictures all over his fridge. Our team, mostly. And JJ’s baby boy Henry, his mother. Some nerdy pictures as well.

“All I can find is jelly beans that were hidden in my cabinet from Halloween.” He turns to you sheepishly.

“Well then it must be my lucky day, red jelly beans are my absolute favorite.” He just smiled back. The two of you simply sat on the couch, talking and laughing until the sun came up, sharing the pack of jelly beans, Spencer specifically avoiding the red ones just for you.

“Thanks for staying up with me, Spence. I really appreciate it. Although it was weird seeing you not in a shirt and tie. Specifically not a shirt at all.” you laughed, feeling a blush start to creep onto your cheeks. You saw Reid’s cheeks tint a slight pink as well.

“I could say the same about your work attire. You’re always a badass with your all black and doc martens. Now you’re sitting on my couch in pink shorts, bunny slippers and a…. One Direction shirt? Who even are you, you can’t be Y/N!” He laughed, his eyes crinkling and his dimples showing. You shoved him on his shoulder, giggling along with him.

“On that note, I think I should get back to my apartment and get ready for work. I’ll see you in two hours for the drive?” You questioned, moving to the door.

“I’ll see you then, jelly bean.” He beamed at you as you left, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

That night, Spencer Walter Reid became your best friend. He was there whenever you couldn’t sleep, always providing your favorite jelly beans. During your late night chats, he learned all about your past too.

“It’s okay, Spence. It’s just a case. It just struck a nerve when Garcia was explaining the details.” You sighed, your head still buried into your best friend’s chest. You felt the blush start to creep its way onto your cheeks, the butterflies attempting to plague your stomach. “We should probably get back anyway. We have less than 15 minutes now to get to the jet.”

Spencer leans his head on top of yours, his cheek squishing into the crown of your head, the scent of your shampoo wafting into his nose. He felt a jolt in his stomach, a weird sensation almost like… butterflies? He slowly lifted his head, placing a gentle, barely there kiss to the top of your head, moving to help you stand. As you got up, you stand in front of Spencer, looking up at him with your big, sad eyes. He gently wraps you into his arms, you sighing at the earthly scent of his soap, as well as a slight mixture of cinnamon and coffee. If only you could tell him what was truly bothering you, aside from the case.

“Let’s go catch the jet, Y/N. I’ll have the jelly beans in hand waiting for you.” he says as he lets you go, guiding you out of the bathroom.

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On the jet, Hotch pulls you aside to check in. In your time at the BAU, Aaron had become almost an older brother to you. As much as Spencer stuck to you, like two peas in a pod, Hotch always protect you when he felt necessary. Understanding the nature of the case and your history, he was angry with himself for not warning you prior to the presentation.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I’m very sorry for not informing you of the contents prior to the presentation.” He says, frowning more than usual.

“It’s okay, Aaron. Don’t worry.”

“I saw Reid go to find you. Did anything happen?” he questions you, raising his eyebrows suspiciously. Damn profiler, even he knows.

“No, nothing that you’re thinking. He’s my best friend, that’s all it’ll ever be.” Fighting to keep the frown from appearing, Hotch reads right through you.

“Whatever you say, “jelly bean”. He mimics your name, you slightly punch him in the shoulder giggling while retreating to the jet’s couch where Reid already has a blanket and jelly beans to share with the file in hand ready to brief you and support you.

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Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

“Three women dead. All three stangled, then shot in the head execution style. All mothers, ages 25-35. All their children have absent fathers, leaving the mother a single parent of the household. We have the kids in custody now, we’re trying to contact next of kin due to the father’s leaving.”

“What’s strange is that asphyxiation was the COD, meaning the gunshot wound was post-mortem, a severe overkill.” Spencer chimed in.

“What kid of sick monster kills not only mothers, but single parents?” you mutter to yourself, only Reid catching you due to proximity. He looks at you as a lone tear rolls down your face.

“Do you need a minute, bean?” he whispers, checking in on you as always.

“It’s okay, Spence.”

“Okay team, we need to look at this with fresh eyes. Head back to the hotel and get some sleep, we’ll revisit this in the morning.” Hotch declares. As the team heads to the hotel, Spencer sticks to you like glue.

“The hotel was overbooked, we need to double up on rooms.” you go to look for Emily as doubling up usually gets your much needed girl time in, but Spencer but in.

“I’ll room with Y/N.” he claims the key, grabbing your hand. You simply look up at him, then to Emily giving her an apologetic smile. She simply latches onto JJ, making you promise to visit them later. Spencer gently leads you over to the elevator.

“Why are you ditching your pal Morgan? You always double up together.” You question him, extremely confused. He simply walks in as the doors open, pressing the button for your floor.

“I just want to spend time with my best friend. Is that a crime?” He shoots back playfully.

“You just want to make sure I won’t do anything stupid. You can’t lie to me, Spence. I’m a profiler too. “ You shoot back. “You don’t have to baby me.” You pout, crossing your arms, much like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

“Whatever you say, bean.” he snickers, walking to the room and unlocking the door. The room is pretty standard. The bathroom right inside, a little hallway leading to the main room.

“Oh..” you both look over, seeing one queen sized bed in the middle of the room. “Sure you don’t want Morgan back ‘pretty boy’?” you tease the poor boy.

“I think I’d rather not wake up with Morgan trying to spoon me. Except he’s the one trying to be the little spoon.” he deadpans, putting his suitcase away. You stifle a laugh going to sit on the bed. “Do you mind if I shower first?” he asks you, turning to get his clothes.

“Go ahead Spence.” you say, grabbing your pajamas to change now, simply showering in the morning. Once changed, you pulled out your favorite book of all time. It was a children’s book, probably one someone would question a grown adult having, but it was special. It was the book your mother read you every night as a kid. You didn’t always feel accepted growing up, by anyone but your mother. But, your mother found this book when you were a wee toddler and it was almost a mantra in your home. Especially when you were sad or lost, she would cuddle you close and tell you a story. As you slowly flick through the worn pages, your eyes start to well up. This case hit close to home for you. You missed your mother dearly, her being your only parent growing up. Now, someone was trying to take that away from other kids too, in your hometown nonetheless. But, you pulled it together to help the team, not that you added anything special. As you neared the end of the story, you heard the shower turn off. You heard Spencer open the bathroom door, you laying in bed, holding the book close to your chest. When he saw you, his heart ached for you. He could tell you had been crying whether you admit it or not. He sunk into the bed, pulling your back flush against his chest, holding you in his lap. He tried to sooth your pain, understanding how hard this must be for you. Slowly, you pick your head up to look him in the eye.

“Thank you, Spence. I’m so glad to have you.”

“Of course, bean. What’s the book you got there?” He questions, you holding it closer to your chest, afraid of it being seen.

“It’s just a childish thing. Don’t worry about it.” you whisper, going to move from his lap.

“Y/N, what is it?” giving you his signature puppy dog eyes.

“It’s just my favorite book. My mom read it to me whenever I felt lost or upset or like I didn’t belong. I always carry it with me for times I feel that way, when I can’t run to her and have her read it to me.” Tears welling up again, Spencer brushes his soft hand over your cheek, his thumb catching the lone tear that falls down.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I wish I could take you for her to read it.” He hugs you close.

“Hey Spence…” you whisper,

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” he asks in reply.

“Nevermind, it’s silly.” you claim, laying back down on the bed.

“Bean, I would never call your questions silly. What is it?”

“Would you possibly read it to me?” you question, your big eyes looking up at him as if this would glue every broken piece back together.

“Of course. What book is it?” he asks, grabbing the book from your hands. “Bean… what the hell is a ‘Rumple Buttercup’? It looks like a toddler drew this.” he questions, looking at the unique illustrations of the loveable monster on the cover. “And what the hell kind of name is this? Matthew Gray Gubler? Who the hell goes by all three names? Do you see me walking around addressing myself as Spencer Walter Reid? No! Pretentious authors thinking they run the world.” He rambles, you just giggling at his antics.

“Spence. It’s a kid’s book. What’s that saying? ‘Don’t judge a book by it’s cover’? Ya know, I never gave you a nickname. Maybe I’ll start calling you Rumple. Or better yet, Buttercup.” you giggle.

“Yeah yeah, okay let’s go.” he says, pulling you close so your head lays on his chest, hearing his heartbeat as he softly reads. As he reads your favorite book, you feel the butterflies in your tummy, but ten times more than usual. His soft words and his heartbeat mixing together to create a beautiful lullaby just for your ears, you slowly nod off. As you're almost into a blissful slumber, Spencer notices. He places the book down beside him, switching off the light. He looks down at you, kissing the top of your head once more. “I love you, jelly bean. Sweet dreams.” you hear as you nod off to dreamland.

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“I think it’s time to give the profile.” JJ states in your team meeting.

The team heads out to the main room where all the police officers are looking at them expectantly.

“We’re looking for a white male, aged 30-40. We have reason to believe he is a father himself, but a neglectful one. One that has not seen his kids. He may have been fighting for rights or visitation for his kids which was the stressor, then going after the single mothers as surrogates for what was keeping him from his family.”

You stayed in the conference room with Reid while they released the profile, working on the geographical profile.

“Hey Spence, I’m going to make a coffee run, want anything?” you ask him, fidgeting with your hands. Ever since you heard his words last night, your stomach has had butterflies in it. He obviously said it as a best friend would say, he would never see you more than.

“Want me to go with you?” He asks, looking away from his giant map on the wall.

“I think I know the way to the local coffee shops in my own town.” you slightly laugh off as you get ready to leave. “Venti hot coffee with seventeen million sugar packets, got it.” you giggle, sauntering off, leaving Reid and the team behind you.

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As you’re leaving Starbucks, your sweet cream cold brew in hand along with Reid’s sugary goodness, you notice something peculiar. Parked across the way from the SUV was a small red pick up truck, with a man sitting in the front, awkwardly fidgeting while watching people within the cafe. You sit in the SUV, watching for a bit to see if he makes a move, but maybe 10 minutes later he takes off down the road. As you drive back to the station, you can’t seem to get the truck out of your head. As you return to Reid, you notice the rest of the team is gone, must be doing interviews or visiting the scenes. You hand the drink to Spencer, accidentally brushing your hand against his, sending electric shocks down your hand through your body. You quickly retreat, walking the other way. Reid notices something is off in how you’ve acted since you both woke up this morning, a tangled mess of limbs. As he goes to say something to you, you ring Garcia.

“All knowing oracle of the BAU unit happily here to serve my baby, what can I do for you, Y/N?” she greets you cheery as always.

“Hey sweetness. Can you cross check our list of possible suspects with a red pick up? I saw a man awkwardly watching the cafe I went to in the truck. Maybe nothing but I can’t get the truck out of my head.”

“Oh baby you obviously question my skills. Of course I can do that lovely lady, but it’s still 50 names on this list.”

“Any way you can narrow that, Garcia?” you ask, pleading to whatever higher power existed.

“Let me check in with the rest of the team if they have more info for me. Toodles, love.” you hear as she clicks the phone off. You look over and see Reid staring at you, quickly glancing down as if he didn’t want to be caught looking.

“I saw you staring, Reid. What’s up, buttercup?” you dramatically draw out the nickname. He looks at you in surprise.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s up, Y/N? You’ve been acting weird around me all day. Did I do something?” He questions looking hurt. You’re taken aback by his statement, not expecting that.

“I-” you start, stuttering.

“What is it?”

“I heard what you said last night.” you whisper to him.

“What did I say? Was I sleep talking?” he’s confused.

“I heard you say you loved me, Spencer.” you say louder this time, looking up at him.

“Of course I love you! You’re my best friend! Why the hell does this warrant being weird?” he questions, getting annoyed at your questioning. He knew he shouldn’t have risked his admission when he said it, knowing you wouldn’t buy his lame excuse of it being your friendship love.

“Oh.” you say, sounding defeated. Knowing the pain would be coming, and feeling the pain of the words twisting the knife in your heart was very different. You felt tears threatening to spring from your eyes.

“Wha-” Spencer looks at you with a painful look. “What do you mean, oh?” he questions.

“Nothing Spence. Let’s work on this case.” you say, avoiding his eyes.

“Y/N. What. Did. You. Mean?” He questions you, now starting to move closer to you.

“Nothing. I knew it was hopeless to believe there was more to that, you’re my best friend Spence. Just my best friend.” you say, looking at your hands.

“What are you trying to say?” He asks, now so close he is practically chest to chest with you. He takes his hand, pushing your chin up to look at him.

“Spence… I lo-” you start to proclaim, but hear Morgan’s yell through the entire office, cutting you off.

“WE FOUND THE UNSUB!”

“Hold that thought, bean.” Spencer says, rushing off to follow after Morgan. What the hell had you gotten yourself into now?

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Tags: @timey-wimey-lovi

#first fic #kinda proud kinda hate it #spencer reid #criminal minds

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randaccidents · 4 years

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Was it worth it?

A fic that’s not from the Shadow People AU? Apparently that's possible.

This one is still from @mine-sara-sp cause she makes the best au’s. This fic comes from her redstone update dream AU.

I would like to blame my sister for this idea.

TW: vomiting, blood

ADDITIONAL: Based on how Dealbreaker went and how no one on discord left unscarred, I am now legally required to warn people if my fics are going to kill someone. This is one of those fics that will most certainly hurt you hard. You have been warned.

Many people often overlooked him, dismissing him as simple minded. But Ren was not stupid. He noticed when the redstoners started acting out. Doc had been extremely antsy and paranoid, almost skewering him when he came to say hi. Multiple times actually. Going to Xisuma only made him more worried with how easily Xisuma dismissed everything as fine because 'it's not like anything matters'.

He was there when Grian first began stealing redstone. He had had to physically hold back Iskall more than once and divert his attention to give Grian some more time to hide. Not that it mattered one week later when he found out that Grian was too sick to move. Then it became a game of pulling Iskall away from Grian. But he refused to get too involved. Getting sick was not on his list.

At least, it wasn't until he found Cub crying in the Buttbarge. In the midst of comforting Cub and accompanying him back to Concorp lands, Ren found out the rest of the story. How Scar decided to help Grian out. How Cub stepped in to regulate Scar when he started getting sick. How he's found himself increasingly eager to take some tnt and destroy buildings. How he can't do this anymore lest he hurt anyone but they had missed some redstone in the server.

And like the bleeding heart he was, Ren offered to help clear the remaining active redstone.

The next few days were spent combing through the railway lines, bases and shopping district for any hidden redstone. It hurt to destroy his hard work, but it hurt more when he had to destroy the brains of the Stock Exchange. But it had to be done. By the end of it, all the active redstone was cleared off the server and stashed where no one in their right mind would visit. Cub had been grateful, Ren only felt a slight itch in his throat, and it was all worth it.

Except, when he went to visit TFC for a chat, he noticed the blocks worth of redstone he had in his chests, sitting unused. Anyone could come in and take them, and this whole mess would only get worse.

So, Ren set to work stealing redstone from the builders of the server, removing them from the chests and walls and hiding them somewhere off the nether tunnels. The itch developed into a cough that burned his throat, but at least the redstone was hidden, and no one knew it was him. He went back to pulling Iskall and Doc off of Grian and Scar, and it was all worth it.

Except, Ren had to keep stealing redstone from TFC and Jevin who mined them up daily.

Except, Ren saw Doc leave his base with a pickaxe, bright blue shining with enchantments.

Except, Ren knew that there was still redstone buried deep beneath the lands the hermits had settled, and everyday more was being found.

So, without telling anyone, Ren packed up his mining gear and went down into the depths of the world, determined to mine the server dry.

His first mistake was that he told no one where he was going. And everyone was so concentrated on the issue at hand that they forgot to check in on him. Who would? Ren wasn't known for redstone, he would be fine. And so he went underground, unnoticed.

His second mistake was bringing Pickscalibur along. The first block of redstone ore he found exploded into way more redstone dust than normal, the Fortune enchant working its wonders. But he needed the Mending and Efficiency enchantments to work long and fast, so he gritted his teeth and bore through the dust that flew into his eyes.

He didn't know how long he was underground, mining away at the rock before him. His limbs shook, but he didn't dare to sleep lest someone found him. His cough got worse, red coming out his throat everytime. He could smell the redstone in the bile and steadfastly scooped every bit into a shulker. His nose burned. When he could find no more, he set down a nether portal, travelling under the tunnels towards 1.14 lands. Once every trace of his passage was cleared, he set back to work looking for more redstone ore.

His third mistake was that he never stopped to rest. Not even when he had to concentrate to hold the pickaxe before him. Not when he coughed so hard that redstone was not the only thing red that came up his throat. Not when his legs gave out beneath him and he had to crawl to the next vein.

It wasn't until his shaking limbs and ruined lungs refused to work that Ren decided to call it quits. Shakily placing the last of the redstone blocks and shulkers of redstone blocks into an ender chest alongside his most precious tools, Ren broke the ender chest one last time with Pickscalibur, grasping the resulting block of obsidian close to his chest. Then, he dragged himself to a two block deep hole naturally formed out of bedrock, locking himself in with obsidian until he had only a one-block space left. Now no one could find him and shake the location of the redstone stashes out of him. Curling up on the freezing bedrock, Ren finally let himself drift.

--------------------------------

He was out of food. It was so, so cold, but he couldn’t give up just yet. Not until everyone was back to normal.

His eyes burned, dust he was too pained to wipe crusting his eyes. He coughed. It seemed like he was coughing more often now.

He hoped that the patch would come soon.

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Everything hurt. When did the grey become so red?

-----------------

His stomach rumbled. He bit his fingers.

So cold…

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Did anyone even know where he was?

-------------------

Was anyone… looking for him?

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The sound of obsidian breaking woke him. There were voices, a hand stretched down to grab him. He registered grey and red cybernetics and jerked away, breath hitching. They found him they found him they found him-

It was a while before the noises above died down. Cautiously, he unplastered himself from the floor. A sudden coughing fit sent him back to the floor, hands clutching at his chest. The floor grew redder as he coughed his lungs out.

Noises above him. Did they come back? He was too tired to lift his head to check, instead pressing himself back into the cold floor.

Someone was speaking to him. He tried to focus on the voice. The words didn’t register in his mind, but he recognised the voice.

This time, when a hand reached down to pull him up, he let them.

-------------

There was warmth. He grabbed the black fabric before him and curled in closer. The voices were around him now. He could feel what he was lying on bounce up and down. One voice cut through the fog in his mind.

“Ren, where did you put the redstone?”

He didn’t hear the rest of the sentence, but it probably didn’t matter. He shook his head, burying himself deeper into what he knew was someone’s chest.

“... need to burn it…”

He could feel something coming up his throat. Reluctantly, he weakly pushed himself out of the warmth to spill it on the floor, hacking.

The voices around him grew in volume. His head spun. Can’t they let him rest?

“...bring him back… rest…”

“...alright Ren?”

That sounded perfectly fine to him. Fingers finding the black fabric again, he let himself drift off.

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The smell of food woke him. Someone was rubbing his arm. Everything around him was still splotches of colour. Something was pushed near his mouth and he gladly accepted the sustenance.

His stomach was not as happy. Feeling the rumbling roil of his stomach, he turned to the side to spit up what he just ate. Exhausted, he drifted off again.

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The first time he woke with a clearer head, he simply lay there silently. Scar was the one who noticed him awake, silently holding his hand and coaxing him to eat.

He drifted off eventually, still too tired to stay awake for long.

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The next time he woke, Xisuma was there. He couldn’t quite catch what Xisuma was trying to tell him, but one thing did register.

“...redstone patched… need to burn… reverse effects...”

He’d done it. He’d held out until the redstone was fixed. Now they just needed to destroy it all. Voice raspy and pained, he forced out a few words.

“Three… spawn…”

That was all he got out before he was sent into a coughing fit. He couldn’t breathe. He felt a hand petting his hair. He felt dizzy.

And then he knew nothing.

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It took many more short wake-ups before he could get everything out.

It took even more to remove all the redstone from his enderchest.

It took many, many more for them to find where he hid the redstone in the nether. He hadn’t exactly remembered which hill he hid them under.

--------------------------

Waking up fully aware was an experience. He never thought he would miss clear lungs and clear thoughts so much. He took a deep breath of fresh air, no longer choked by red dust.

There was shuffling from across the room, and then someone was helping him sit up. He blinked, and there was a bottle of water pressed to his lips. He drank eagerly, marvelling at how clear his throat felt. Finishing the bottle, he blinked up at the person supporting him and smiled.

“Hey Doc, how’s it going?”

Doc’s only response was to envelop him in a hug. He took a deep breath of Doc’s smell, fresh ivy and water. He could feel droplets on his shirt.

“Never, ever do that again man. You were gone for two months, everyone was so worried!”

Ren hugged Doc back, sighing softly into his shoulder. Looks like Doc was back to normal. Yep, this was worth it.

#that one redstone update dream #I am kinda lazy to tag all the hermits so lets just go with #the hermits #I blame my sis she made this so solid in my mind I had to write #aight trigger tags time #blood #vomiting #my writing #yes my writing is a trigger guys #I had to physically take a break writing this it hurt so hard #I'm really sorry #Imma go rest now this took a lot out of me

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