When I was 5, I watched the Star Trek: TNG episode โAttachedโ (s7 ep8) and positively IMPRINTED on it ๐๏ธ๐๐๏ธ
So I commโd fellow ST fan @marleywardart to create this piece of Picard & Crusher having their simple breakfast of โcoffee and croissantsโ together. ๐ฅฐ
I just love them sm. ๐ฅน๐๐ซถ
But yes, highly recommend the whole series but especially the episode Attached. The bond forcing them to feel each otherโs feelings and hear each otherโs thoughts!! โ
The yearning!! โ
The loaded history between the two of them!! โ
It is a perfect episode. ๐๐
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Jill/Elly - 45. โWhenโs the last time you slept?โ
A sequel toย do I chase the night or does the night chase me?ย Also on ao3
Jillโs hands are dirty.
Well, thatโs not true. She washed them as soon as she got to the hospital, scrubbed under hot water until her skin was pink. But they feel dirty, covered in the lingering specter of sticky wetness.ย
Elbows propped on her knees, she wrings her hands between them, rubbing her thumb back and forth against a chapped knuckle, tries to dispel the phantom sensation. Remind herself that itโs not real, that thereโs nothing there but pale, calloused skin.ย
Her hands may be clean, but her shirtsleeves are soaked in blood. Ellyโs blood.
Itโs been hours since they took Elly into surgery. How many, Jill couldnโt say, the time going past in a blur. Sheโs been posted in an uncomfortable chair in a nondescript hallway like a sentinel. Staring at the stain, stark against the white of her shirt, watching it turn from red to worn, rusty brown.
Her jaw aches from clenching against the feeling thatโs squeezing at her chest; she still canโt decide if she wants to throw up or scream.
โGuv?โ
Jill blinks, looks up to find Quinn standing over her, worry on his face, and a steaming cup of tea in hand. She takes it with a small, grateful smile, sips at the too hot liquid and barely feels the burn.
โAny word?โ he asks. Jill just shakes her head, doesnโt trust her voice to not betray her.
Quinn hovers awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. Heโs the only one in the CID who knows about her and Elly, the only one who knows that sheโs here in the hospital in a capacity far beyond official. His mouth opens, snaps shut again just as quickly.
โI brought your spare shirt,โ he says, holding out a plastic covered hanger. She knows what heโs really saying is sheโll be all right and Iโm here for you. But theyโve never been that kind of friends.
โThanks,โ she says, voice like gravel, draping the shirt over the chair beside her. โYou should get back to the station. Let them know that I-,โ she coughs, the words sticking in her throat. โTell themโฆโ
โIโll take care of it, Guv.โ The understanding in Quinnโs voice is almost too much. Jill focuses her blurry eyes on the tips of her loafers. โWeโre gonna find him. You have my word.โย
A hand squeezes briefly against her shoulder, and she hears footsteps receding into the distance.
Eventually she manages to get herself into the ladies, her legs stiff and heavy. She strips off her shirt in a stall, pulls on the crisp blue one from the bag. Stuffs the ruined fabric into the trash on her way to the sinks.
Jill catches her reflection in the mirror as she washes her hands, sees the tightness around her mouth, the darkness beneath her eyes. She looks old, tired.ย
Terrified.
The view shifts in her mindโs eye, a sense of familiarity washing over her. She remembers a morning a few days prior, brushing her teeth in the bathroom of her flat. Elly appeared behind her, fresh from bed; dark hair a mess and sleep-filled eyes, wearing a baggy t-shirt that only just fell to her thighs. She reached past Jill to grab her own toothbrush, pressing warmly against her back for a moment. Their eyes met in the mirror, both smiling around mouthfuls of minty foam.
Itโs the kind of domesticity Jill never thought she wanted, certainly never looked for, but now like so many things with Elly feels only right.
Out of nowhere anger boils up inside her; rage at the unfairness of it all mixing with the blind fear of losing Elly. All consuming, bursting out of her with a snarl.
A shock of impact shoots up her arm where her fist connects with the metal towel dispenser, the pain clearing her head a bit. She flexes her hand, glances between her distorted reflection in the dented metal and the smear of blood across her knuckles.ย ย
Doesnโt look back as she returns to her post.
- - -
A faint groan pulls Jill from a fitful doze. For a moment sheโs disoriented, hardly knows where she is. A second soft noise snaps her mind into focus, and she straightens in the chair.
One of the nurses took pity on her in the late hours. Somehow convinced the attending that, given the nature of Ellyโs injuries, it was only sensible to have a police presence in the room as a precaution. The significant look she gave Jill as she asked if sheโd be willing to stay spoke to her perceptiveness.ย
Ellyโs eyes flutter open and sheer relief that washes over Jill leaves her a little dizzy. She sees Ellyโs brow furrow, confused, her eyes huge and dark against the waxy pallor of her skin.
โHey, youโre all right,โ Jill soothes, taking Ellyโs hand where it lies limp against the stiff hospital blanket. โYouโre at the hospital.โ
Her mouth opens as if to speak, but all she manages is a dry cough. Jill grabs the cup of water from the bedside table, holds the straw to Ellyโs parched lips as she takes a small sip.
โDid you catch him?โ Elly rasps, and Jill canโt help but smile. Of course thatโs what sheโd worry about.
โNot yet, but we will. Quinnโs on it.โ She lifts Ellyโs hand, settles it more firmly in her own. โIโve been slightly preoccupied worrying about you.โ
Elly hums softly, squeezing back around Jillโs fingers.
โWhenโs the last time you slept?โ she asks. โYou look terrible.โ
Jill barks out a laugh at that. โYouโre one to talk.โ
โAt least I have an excuse.โ Elly chuckles, the sound fading into a pained groan as her stomach muscles clench, and Jill has to push back the memory of Elly moaning in pain in a pool of her own blood. She presses her lips to Ellyโs knuckles, takes a slow shaky breath.
โYou scared me, Eliza,โ Jill whispers against her skin, voice thick. Ellyโs grip tightens, and Jill feels the brush of fingers against her hair.
โIโm sorry.โ
Thereโs so much Jill wants to say, but Elly is already starting to fade, eyelids drooping. In that moment, Jill vows to not let another day go by without making sure that Elly knows exactly how she means to her.
For now, she reaches up to smooth Ellyโs lank hair back from her forehead, thumb brushing against her cheek.
โGet some sleep.โ Elly murmurs a bit, pressing her cheek into Jillโs hand.
Jill starts to pull away, to let Elly rest, but her hand clenches, holding Jill in place.
โStay close,โ Elly asks, the words a little indistinct, slurred with exhaustion. โPlease?โ
Jill just scoots her chair closer, slotting their fingers together.
โIโm not going anywhere.โ
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tangelo & lemon :3
if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be? motherfkn selkie, babe!!!! do you have any pets? what are their names? the sonboy! His name is Captain Rascal the Third and he has a kind face.ย
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9, 12, 42, 72 :)
9. sunny side up! - red velvet
12. genius - sia, labrinth, diplo
42. tempo - lizzo & missy elliott
72. kids in the dark - bat for lashes
thanks for asking! ๐ค
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unfortunately, white people continue to act up.ย so weโre rebranding.ย
picardcrusher โ @raffaela-musiker
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EXCHANGE MASTERPOST:
Below is a list of all our remixes, as well as the fics they were inspired by. You can also find the full collection over at AO3
The aunt and the third-favourite historian by @fortytworedvines
โ inspired by she stops my bones from wondering just who I am by @slightlyintimidating
The calm to my storm, my sun when it rainsย by @ariverandasong
โ inspired byย Sweeter Than Chocolate, Hotter Than Fireย by @professorflimflam
Call, and I'll Come (Home)ย by @akaanonymouthโ
โ inspired byย The Callsย by @sassyrequinโ
Caring for Us.ย by @fiiveroundsrapid
โ inspired byย My Baby Just Cares For Meย by @hartkinsao3
Damaged Soulย by @littlemisso
โ inspired byย Haunted Heartย by @patsystonewall
Elulย by @sosaywefrakkinall
โ inspired byย Caveatย by @akaanonymouth
The Flightย by @sassyrequin
โ inspired byย Flight of Fancyย by @littlemisso
hearth and homeย by @picardcrusher
โ inspired byย Fancy(dress), don't let me downย by @elitryalittle
Heatwaveย by @kooili158
โ inspired byย Snow Daysย by @ariverandasong
i choose you (the eternity remix)ย by @walkthegale
โ inspired byย Choiceย by @fiiveroundsrapid
i searched for happy endings (and there you were)ย by @lesbianishstuff
โ inspired byย happier times with the happiest to comeย by @bonnissance
I Taught The Sea My Songย by @patsystonewall
โ inspired byย Come Away With Meย by @sententiousandbellicose
I'm hooked on all these feelingsย by @bitheflowers
โ inspired byย dream about that casual touchย by @ylizam
i've acquired a taste for a well-made mistakeย by dashwoods
โ inspired byย The Wrong Threadย by @kooili158
Love Is a Promise (Don't Leave Me)ย by @sententiousandbellicose
โ inspired byย Home is wherever we are if there's love here tooย by @daisydoctor13
Night Scented Stockย by @bonnissance
โ inspired byย Undersell, Overdeliverย by @wonkots42
Panthera Leo Domesticusย by @wonkots42
โ inspired byย Olliย by @lesbianishstuff
Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Thisย by @professorflimflam
โ inspired byย In her dreamsย by @fortytworedvines
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mineย by @daisydoctor13
โ inspired byย let the soft animal of your body love what it lovesย by @picardcrusher
Until You're Betterย by @slightlyintimidating
โ inspired byย Whatever may come, your heart I will choose.ย by @sosaywefrakkinall
when there's no ground(remixed)ย by @hartkinsao3
โ inspired byย when there's no groundย by @walkthegale
you don't have to call me yours, my loveย by @ktlsyrtis
โ inspired byย I will not tire of youย by @bitheflowers
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Fics Wot I Wrote in 2019 (and the 2010s in general!)
So itโs the end of a decade, and I wrote some fic this year! I am going to do the usual list, but I thought I might modify the end-of-year meme into an end-of-decade meme, and have a bit of a look back at the fandoms Iโve written in and the fics I wrote throughout the 2010s, because itโs certainly been a more diverse decade than the last!
So, here is the list of Stuff From This Year:
January 28: The Witch of South Kensington - The Infinite Bad - G - Cornelia and Sebastian and a weird, well, infinitely bad sort of domesticity
April 7: to beckon me in languages iโve never learned - James Bond - Bond/M - E - M decides what bendings of her will sheโs willing to forgive
October 18: If Not Me - Arc of a Scythe - Curie/Faraday - T - Faraday fishes Curie out of the water, and they make the long road-trip back to Conclave together
Itโs been a bit of a transition year for me, but look! I have been writing! And thereโs one more fic I have completed this year but not yet posted, and itโs a long bastard, so I am quite happy with myself.
And here is the little meme thing, though Iโve modified it a bit to reflect on the decade, because I thought that might be fun.
Fandoms I have written in during the 2010s: Harry Potter, Sanctuary, Scott & Bailey, The Infinite Bad, James Bond, Arc of a Scythe. There are few other things I wrote for Yuletides past, too, but I wouldnโt specifically call that participation in those fandoms, so Iโve left them off.
First fic of the decade: An Interesting and Difficut Woman (HP, Muriel/Ollivander, E)
Last fic of the decade: If Not Me (linked above) or, really, the unpublished monster-fic that is now awaiting beta
Longest fic of the decade: One Time Thing (S&B, Gill/Julie, E). This is my longest fic of all-time, actually, and will remain so even when I publish my new thing. 50K. How did I even. I had a full-time job in 2015, though I do remember starting it before that job happened.
Shortest fic of the decade: Was a Yuletide treat drabble thing about Robot Unicorn Attack, but Iโm going to go with a thing I am actually still pretty proud of, Burning, which is 173 words of slightly dark Albus/Minerva, that it turns out Iโm glad I posted to ao3, because the LJ comm it was originally written in a comment on has now been deleted and purged.
Something I learned while writing in the 2010s: That I am capable of moving on to new fandoms, though probably not being truly multi-fandom. I have learned that I am serially monogamous, fannishly. Apart from Yuletides past, which have always been a bit of a holiday deviation, I rarely go back to back to writing in a fandom once a new one takes hold of me, something that sometimes makes me sad, but the muse wants what it wants, I guess. I think I move on when I am ready to. I started the decade still firmly in HP, where I had been since roughly 2003, and by now I have cycled through several new interests, which can be happy or melancoly depending on the way I look at it (I am generally not sad to move on to new ideas, but I am sometimes sad that moving to new fandoms sometimes means losing touch with friends from old ones).
Something Iโm surprised about when I look back at my fic over the decade: That I can look back at my first fic of the decade, and really most things I have written in the past ten years, and still be damn proud of them. I think part of it is age and maturity, but an even larger part of it is that in about 2008 I started regularly using a BETA, and ever since, I can look back at the things I have written and be proud rather than cringing. Seriously, a good beta is worth her weight in gold, and I have known a few. Hold onto your betas, peeps, and if you donโt have one, GET ONE. Your future self will thank you.
Something that I miss: The comment culture of LJ, and the general tight-knit-ness of my little corner of fandom there. Fandom is now definitely a diaspora, and I have made many wonderful connections in the years since I moved to tumblr/twitter, but god do I miss the comment culture of things like LJ fic exchanges in particular. That might also in part be me missing being a part of a fandom that was LARGE even within its niches. But the muse wants what it wants, lol.
Something that makes me happy: The friends that I have made in my fandoms of the decade - shit, I mean, @incandescent-justice and @girlonabridge and @aubrys and @little-brisk all became proper Real Life Friends of mine when I lived on their continent, and @picardcrusher and @sapphoshands and @moocowmoocow thanks for also screaming about lady detectives with me. And I am so, so pleased that being into Sanctuary helped me meet @troiings and audio drama fandom put me in touch with @lothiriel84 and @mifhortunach and just. yeah. There are probably more people Iโm going to feel bad about forgetting but like, FADOM FAMS it means so much to me!
Strongest memories of writing from the decade: Writing โScenes From a Very Special Friendshipโ in a notebook in 2011 while on holiday attending DiaCon Alley in the UK, teasing it to the person I was writing it for and talking about it with @kiwi-collideoscope. Writing โA Sexual Awakening in Five Actsโ in the breaks at my retail job, sometimes skiving and taking hella long breaks on the steps outside the store and sometimes writing smut in the breakroom while trying to keep a straight face - I think that was the first fic I really wrote large chunks of on my phone, a practise that I have continued, and continues to make me happy. Writing a scene of โBe Here, By Meโ in which Julie Dodson smokes a cigarette with the sun on her face while doing exactly the same thing myself. Sitting in the restauarant/bar of my hotel in Berlin with my evening cup of tea (because German hotels donโt have a kettle in the room? idek) writing โWarrirorsโ, which was my first Infinite Bad fic, and the first fic I had written in two years. Starting to write โTethersโ in the taxi in Manila on my way to the airport after my stopover on my way home to Sydney in 2018.
Something I wish Iโd written: I wish Iโd been able to get on the Berena train, fanfic-wise, but it was such a wild explosion that I couldnโt keep up with it, and the fact that canon never stopped really threw me, too. I really wish Iโd managed to write that fucking Yuletide assignment in 2016, though, because none of the NYR prompts have grabbed me since.
Where I think the 2020s will take me: i honestly have no idea, but it might be fun to speculate for the future. Into new fandoms, I think is a safe bet - probably fandoms with Awesome Ladies. I hope this Arc of a Scythe thing can carry me a bit further, but after that, who knows? At the start of the decade, I had no idea that Scott & Bailey existed, or that I would fall for Sanctuary as hard as I did. I had no idea a wild and crazy RPG podcast would be the thing to pull me out of a two-year dry spell, or that I would finish a fic that had been sitting in my WIPs for two years (thatโs โto beckon meโ, btw, thanks, @tayryn, for helping me do a thing I never thought possible and take something OFF the backburner!). But yeah, whatever my 2020s fannish journey holds, I bet it has Awesome Ladies in it - particularly older ones.
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Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Holby City
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Characters: Serena Campbell, Bernie Wolfe, Jason Haynes, Charlotte Dunn
Additional Tags: Berena remix, Angst with a Happy Ending, as in canon created the angst and this fixes it, Canon Divergent, they both start to communicate so that's good
Summary:Without realising, Bernie has been waiting for an excuse to visit Serena. After Greta's accident, Jason provides her with the perfect opportunity.
My fic for @berenaremix is based on the brilliant Let the soft animal of your body love what it lovesย by @picardcrusher (which you should definitely read first before mine). I have attempted to rewrite this from Bernieโs POV, which was a challenge because I usually default to Serena. I hope you all enjoy!ย
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Itโs hard to end a relationship. Even harder when the person youโre trying to dump has faked your death and kept you cuffed to their radiator for the last six months. But if anyone can find a way, Bernie Wolfe can.ย
My final fix-it! With thanks to @batnbreakfast and @picardcrusher for the use of their headcanons and @wonkots42 for the title and summary.
An escape story with a happy ending, naturally.
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Worst ending ever! #startrekthenextgeneration #tng #startrek #picardcrusher
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what was THAT scene in "this is where love is taking me" - which is honestly one of your most evocative work, and an underrated favourite of mine.
Iโm not sure that there was a single scene that compelled me to write the whole thing, but I think the scene I was most excited to write was the conversation between Serena and The Crone. I felt like that was key to making the whole thing feel vaguely eerie and mythological, and the dialog was very fun to write ๐
[ask about a fic & Iโll tell you which was โTHAT SCENEโ]
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1, 9 & 25 :)
1. Your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else)I answered this here, but another fave of mine isย Power Bops for Power Bottoms. Excellentย โdance around your houseโ tunes
9. A quote that you would consider getting tattooed or putting in a frameInterestingly, of all my tattoos none of them are strictly words. Iโm gonna cheat and say the quote which I have a large poster of in my office, which isย โDone is better than perfectโ. Itโs a bit of a mantra of mine
25. A game youโre playing that takes your mind off thingsIโve gotten obsessed with this ios game called Two Dots. Challenging enough to require attention with too much intense thought, itโs been an excellent time waster
[stay at home asks]
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for berena: communication and going to therapy
Communication:No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you donโt even know |
Ugh, gross! That is a hard no for both of them, full stop!ย
Therapy:No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you donโt even know |
Like, itโs ok for other people. But for them, itโs only as a last resort for short term resolutions. Theyโre not into it as a lifestyle
[send me a kink & a character]
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I just assume you've picked up a lot of random hobbies or skillsets over the years. Carpentry? Welding? GLASSBLOWING?
I have actually done all of those things, to one degree or another. I tend to be a hobby gatherer ๐
[tell me what you assume about me]
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7, 9, 22! ๐
What is your favorite form of self expression? tell men they ainโt shitย Where is your favorite place on earth? curled up comfy in bed w the cat napping around my legsย When in life did you laugh the hardest? i have a specific laugh for when iโve Lost My Shit and end up crying bc iโm laughing so hard i canโt breathe. Itโs always brought on by a mate doing something hilarious or extra stoopid, but i dont have a specific moment of Thatโs the time i laughed the hardest.
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