#r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

when you have a character with multiple pronouns and decide to alternate between them for this section of the story only to realize you fucked up the alternating pattern at one point

#this shouldn't actually matter but #those horrid horrid things #r reads thht #r revises thht #tw: language

[afoolandathief]

going through last minute revision notes (yes I technically wrapped up draft 2 revisions but I also left notes in the google doc) and am currently held up by whether a character should suggest another character could consume about two dozen brownies

#rambles #r revises thht #tw: food

[afoolandathief]

This was in my revision notes but honestly I think this is a given, right?

#rambles #r revises thht #those horrid horrid things #sigyn thht

[afoolandathief]

anyway. a weed brownie if i finish revising a chapter of thht seems like an appropriate reward right

#rambles #r revises thht #tw: marijuana

[afoolandathief]

not me writing six versions of the same sentence to figure out which one is best sdfkjsdfhskdjf

#rambles #r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

you don't understand. I've spent days. days. Deciding whether to write snort or laugh or chortle before finally just deleting the sentence

#rambles #r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

oh fuck yeah we're onto the squirrel chapter

#rambles #r revises thht #those horrid horrid things #tw: language

[afoolandathief]

Cannot decide if it works inserting these two lines of dialogue in the original graf or not:

Sigyn stared up at them, her eyes watering. Loki curled their lip and resisted the urge to spit all their fury at her. Instead they walked over to Angrboda, who had finally turned around.

“Odin wants to take away our children,” they said. “He wants to take away my son. Well, I’ll take away his first.”

“They’ll come for us.”

“They’re already coming for us, Angrboda,” Loki said. “It’s all in motion, the All-Father’s precious boy will die.”

vs. prev:

Sigyn stared up at them, her eyes watering. Loki curled their lip and resisted the urge to spit all their fury at her. Instead they walked over to Angrboda, who had finally turned around.

“Odin wants to take away our children,” they said. “He wants to take away my son. Well, I’ll take away his first. It’s already in motion, Angrboda, the All-Father’s precious boy will die.”

#my writing #those horrid horrid things #r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

had a thought as I was editing this chapter, so here's a freshly-baked THHT meme

#trash post #those horrid horrid things #jormungandr #ratatoskr #seriously tho fenrir is such a good boy who *waited* for his dad to tell him to get the squirrel #ratatoskr is lucky jormungandr didn't want to get out of that hammock at first #r revises thht #r procrastinates some more

[afoolandathief]

i think i might try and rewrite the ragnarok sequence

#rambles #r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

My revision notes here just say "Oh I am good, I was being so clever lmao" -_-

#rambles #those horrid horrid things #r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

More comparing and contrasting revisions on a scene (fair warning things get rough):

Draft 1:

They were spreading peanut butter and sticky, red jelly onto slices of bread when Sigyn came downstairs. They whirled to face her, splattering jelly across the table.

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this,” they said. “And Angrboda. Everyone.”

She stared at them as if they were very far away.

“Loki,” she said. “Ratatoskr didn’t come yesterday. He stops here every week to look at my phone.

Draft 2:

They were spreading peanut butter and sticky, red jelly onto slices of bread when they heard footsteps behind them. They whirled around with their knife aloft, splattering jelly across the table.

“Sigyn.”

She was filling a glass of water at the sink. She wouldn’t look at them.

“Sigyn,” they went on. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. And Angrboda. Everyone.”

“It was when we were in Asgard wasn’t it?”

She took a sip of water, her eyes still fixed on the floor.

“That’s how you found out about Baldr’s weakness,” she said. “In disguise as me.”

“I — I never intended to,” they said. “It just happened that I -”

“How many times, Loki?” she said. “How many times have you claimed my face, my body, to use for your own?”

“Sigyn,” they tried to swallow back the heat and failed. “You really want to do this now? Now, when I’m completely fucked?”

Her eyes finally met their own. She looked like she hadn’t slept either.

“Go fuck yourself, Loki Laufeyjarson.”

She shoved past them out of the kitchen. Then she stopped, her hand on her head.

Loki licked the end of the knife.

“What now?” they asked.

She turned to them, holding her phone flat in her hand. She stared at them as if they were very far away.

“Loki,” she said. “Ratatoskr didn’t come yesterday. He stops here every week to look at my phone.”

#again it's a question of whether making it longer slash unpacking this works or not #r revises thht #my writing #those horrid horrid things #loki thht #sigyn thht

[afoolandathief]

Ch. 26 note says "should the hand still be there?" and like no? are we trying to torture this sweet baby wolf boy some more here?

#but then? #hmm #rambles #r revises thht #those horrid horrid things #fenrir thht

[afoolandathief]

the most obnoxious thing about thht revisions rn is trying to decide whether Niflheimr and Helheimr should be two distinct realms or not

#rambles #r revises thht #those horrid horrid things #in the first draft i plopped hel in niflheimr without considering that everyone lists there being nine realms #so then i was going to add an unnamed realm of the dead on its border #but in some interpretations nidavellir is one of the realms and not helheim leaving niflheim as the realm of the dead #so

[afoolandathief]

new question is if I use "hiss" way too much when writing about Loki

[REDACTED]

#those horrid horrid things #r revises thht

[afoolandathief]

in another episode of "r tries to figure out which revised line is better":

[REDACTED]

#or i just scrap the flickering out analogy altogether #those horrid horrid things #r revises thht