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drawnecromancy · 4 months

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I really thought I wouldn't make more art before the end of 2023, but a conversation in a server reminded me of some very old My Little Pony OCs. Off the top of my head I do still have remnants of lore for them.

The ones on top, Red Heart and Shadow Heart, are siblings and were originally made to be the most eye burny and the most edgy possible respectively. They're, like, 2015 OCs I made with my sister when we were in a "we SHOULD make a Mary Sue actually" moment. Which fucks. So they're the children of King Sombra and a random zebra i guess and they're alicorns because they can, everyone loves Red Heart because she's just so kind, and Shadow heart is just an edgy little guy who will take over the world someday. If his sister doesn't foil his plans.

The ones on the bottom are an inventor whose name i forgot and a wooden doll she made. The inventor is extremely skilled, has made mechanical wings that do fly and mechanical horns that can harness magic, before creating a living doll as a companion because she had no friends, committing terrible, unspecified acts of hubris, getting sent to the shadow realm by Celestia. The doll became a museum object... she's lonely.

#my little pony #mlp fanart #i guess??????#my art #digital art #i don't do ponies often i have no idea how pony anatomy works im just having fun here #redrawing very old characters

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scummy-writes · 3 years

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This is really awkward but heyo lets talk about things I never wrote when I said I would

There's probably been a lot, though first thing that comes to mind is me promising to at least try to finish requests that were sent out to me as far back as literally a year ago. Then, it's the 'suitors reacting to mc being pregnant' series I wanted to do, but ended up being unable to. I think there's been snippets of old fics I've wanted to publish (like some kinktober snippets, or drabble ideas I shared, other small things), said I would publish sometime 'soon', and then never did.

I don't know how to really Approach the topic because it's going to be a lot of excuses in the end, even when I'm wanting to try and explain the reasoning behind it all.

I can be firm in saying that, at the time, I did fully plan on finishing what I had set out to do. I wanted to, but then I got held back from doing so. From life events, but also a lot of mental issues.

This is probably going to sound so stupid, especially since I've been writing for years, but I have such godawful anxiety when it comes to writing.

I used to have a lot of fun with it, and I still do whenever I manage to finish something, but as much as I hate to admit it, being hounded on for over a year about writing a character 'ooc' in a past fandom really did a number on me. It's not fun waking up to messages chewing you out about how ooc a character is, and that stretching out to cover a whole year.

I've gotten made fun of irl for my writing as well. Like back in highschool teachers mocking my stuff in front of the class and my friends chiming in, all of that fun stuff.

In a lot less words; now I just get scared of writing characters that I don't feel at least like. 80% confident in writing.

So thats the reasoning behind me saying I'll do a full suitor series in xyz, and then never ended up doing it. I get too nervous its going to be too disappointing, and even when I thought I could do it and had ideas to apply, I chickened out. I couldn't convince myself any of the ideas were good enough and constantly scrapped it all.

And that in turn stretches out to requests. I thought at first I was just too stressed from comms/pandemic starting/work, but i think it still links back to that. I get insanely nervous about posting things, and its only gotten worse as time goes by. (Like, hey, I've been trying to work through it. I was seeing a therapist, but after her kinda scoffing and laughing at me regarding writing, kinda accepted she couldn't help me out in that department. )

And then, in turn, a lot of this applies to fics. I know I've posted drabble snippets before and said something along the lines of trying to tackle x drabble after I finish y thing, and then seemingly never doing so.

When, currently, a lot of kinktober drafts have morphed into a longer christmas fic that I never got done on time. (And, you guessed it, it's because I keep convincing myself its not good enough to pursue). Not all of them. I mean, some have pushed towards a oc fic for Amélie, some for other smutfics, etc. (Recycling I guess?)

I sound completely bonkers in all of this

I just don't know how to explain it. I mean "Hey, I fucked up, I'm sorry if you all felt lied to, I'm sorry" just seems lazy, and I just want to make it clear that there's reasons behind everything, the lack of fulfillment wasn't supposed to hurt anyone, it just. Happened. I'm sorry.

I wish it could be as easy as just sitting down with a word document open and just Going, but it's not. I'll sit in front of an open word doc for hours and just spend the time convincing myself no ones going to enjoy whatever it is I'm working on.

Which, is NOT a commentary on a lack of support or something. You guys have always been sweet, and in my opinion you are all quick to leave nice comments on whenever I do manage to post. (And those comments are not tossed aside, I really do appreciate all of them)

It's more of a commentary on my mental state I guess, and how bad my anxiety with writing how gotten. You guys don't get to see a lot of the 'fun' behind the scenes of a few select friends having to basically hold my hand while I agonize over publishing a new fic or not.

None of this is said to guilt anyone, because no one following me should feel guilty. No ones pressuring me outside of myself, and you guys support me and are always nice. It's just the remnants of a weird stalker/harrassment issues I've had, and irl issues. I mean. Hell, I feel like it's normal to have issues after going through a year of regular harrassment.

Just. Hoping it sheds some light on things. I get that it's annoying regardless, and I understand that, I would just feel worse if I didn't try to explain why I never got around to finishing them.

I'm trying not to promise stuff as often. Because I'm going into another month of working overtime, and, honestly, I'm trying to prepare on finding a new job. My current one is causing me to go through new anxiety meds and making me freakout way more than a job should.

In light of that, I will guarantee that I'll do the theo pegging fic. I can't promise finishing other fics or drabbles, but since the fic is supposed to be a celebration for you all, I can't not do it.

I can't guarantee *when*, it might be months from now, but I will have it done eventually. I'd feel worse than ever if I didn't, and that will drive me to finish it eventually.

That's the only thing I feel comfortable promising right now.

I'm sorry for such a long and spirialing post. I've been feeling guilty about a lot of this for a while now, and then it was brought up that I've probably or have made a lot of people feel lied to. So I thought I would attempt to address it.

In other news, due to work, I haven't been posting much and have been somewhat 'hiding' in my server. Sorry for barely any activity, I just feel kinda. Annoying. So I haven't been on tumblr much.

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bopeepwritingsheep · 5 years

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What’s up everyone on this fine evening. I’m on steroids again and I’m pretty sure I can see into the 15th dimension and the taz writers discord server has got me on my ‘Angus Adjacent OC Interacting With The Birds’ bullshit so BEHOLD, A preview of the The Angus Twin AU

Agnes hasn’t seen her brother in exactly seven months, two weeks, and six days since he started his ‘secret case’ earlier in the year. It’s also been exactly seven days since the apocalypse happened and all things considered, she’s doing pretty well. The hospital was a little damaged, everything in Neverwinter is at least a little damaged after all the chaos but the Birds held the line--Or so everyone keeps saying.

She’s not sure how she feels yet, she spent most of The Day in a basement with everyone else from the Children’s Ward. It’s just a lot to process.

She’s thankful beyond anything when she finally gets a letter in their code saying to meet in their usual place in Neverwinter she doesn’t hesitate in the slightest at sneaking out of the hospital, she’s having a good day so it’s not very hard.

Their bench is destroyed, and so is most of the park but Agnes sits under a nearby tree, shuffling her cards and wondering if she should have brought her good blanket so she could scam some folks with phony readings. Neverwinter is always good for that, with the disaster it’s harder to gauge but she thinks she could get some pity silvers and coppers.

Every little bit helps, even with Angus sending money the hospital is expensive.

She kicks her feet a little, she’s crushing a very crunch leaf when tiny familiar hands cover her eyes and a voice asks, “What’s the password?”

“Caleb Cleveland is a big nerd.”

“You’re supposed to say Caleb Cleveland is the best but it’s been a while so I’ll let it slide this time.” She can hear the pout in his voice, and she laughs louder and freer than she has in months. She turns her body, not too fast because she doesn’t want to get dizzy and latches onto Angus like a limpet.

“You’re a big nerd too, I missed you.”

“Aggie, I’ve missed you so much, I’m sorry I couldn’t come and see you sooner but everything’s been crazy and no one at the bureau’s let me go anywhere. I had to lie and say I was going to the library to come see you.”

“The library got crushed by a weird mushroom monster.” “Yeah, but Taako and Magnus don’t know that as long as they don’t crosscheck with Madame Director Lucretia I should be good for at least a few hours.”

“I knew you had something to do with that big moon cult as soon as I saw it in The Story. That had ‘Angus McDonald World’s Greatest Detective’ written all over it.”

“Of course you knew, that has ‘Agnes McDonald World’s Greatest Clairvoyant’ written all over it.”

Angus tells her about his past year, both the little bit before when he’d been tracking the Rockport Slayer and everything afterward. Most of the stories are fun, the train ride is exciting, the crystal lab is a little scary but she knows it turns out okay so it’s not so bad, and everyone at the bureau does sound nice.

They took care of his brother, she’s happy he has people like she has her nurses and the other ward kids.

“You’ve gotta come meet them! I haven’t said anything yet but I figured it would be a cool surprise. Like, we could dress the same and do the thing we used to do where we both hide in a different part of the room and pop out and say something clever then pop back into our hiding spot. We can see how long it takes them to figure out I’m not teleporting or casting duplicity!”

Agnes frowns, she hunches over slightly--She doesn’t let go of Angus because she can’t yet, it’s been too long so she practically curls into his side, “Meet them? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

Angus seems utterly baffled by her question, blinking wide-eyed as he processes it, “Why wouldn’t it be?” Agnes sighs, because she always has to be the responsible one, the one who tells Angus when he’s being too ambitious.

“Because you lied to them? I mean, we agreed not to tell people about me until I’m out of the hospital ‘cause it’s dangerous but that seems like it’s a big deal not to tell your cult friends about me.”

“It’s only sort of a cult--And it’s only a lie by omission, that barely counts.” Angus sighs loudly, clearly exasperated with her arguments. Which isn’t fair, because she’s probably right, he’s lived with them for months without mentioning her. The militia is at least been vaguely aware of her, mostly because of the time she’d had to be put under temporary protection from the remnants of a gang Angus had busted. That case had been the reason for their rule in the first place, a precaution to prevent any repeats.

Agnes pulls Angus closer, pressing her face into his collar. He smells different, like cookies instead of old books. She’s not sure how she feels about that, but she knows how she feels about Angus.

“I don’t wanna ruin this for you, it seems like they like you so much but what if they don’t like me.”

Tiny hands clutch at her back just as surely as hers clutch his. Angus’ voice is so tiny like he’s trying to soothe a startled animal but the undercurrent is as confident and fierce as her brother in the face of a mystery.

“Taako’s a twin too! He’ll get it, Aggie,” Angus insists as his palms rub circles on her back, “I haven’t known Miss Lup for as long but she seems really nice too.”

“I mean, yeah, I guess they seemed nice in The Story and they like you but I’m...I’m different.”

“You’re my sister.”

#taz fic #angus mcdonald.#twin angus au #agnes mcdonald.#eventually this will be up on ao3 probably

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