#ren hana and weed | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hiskillingjar · 10 months

Text

weird girl

Relationship: Ren Hana/Lawrence Oleander Rating: Explicit Contains: Violent Thoughts, Intrusive Thoughts, Sadomasochism. Transfem Character, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Possessive Behavior, Knotting Length: 10,700+ words

Summary: please don't love how i need you, and know that one day, you and i could be ok (a soft night with ren and lawrence) AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48738724

The air in the small, studio apartment was thick and heavy with humidity and smelled of wet plant matter, smelled of soil, smelled of rot.

Lawrence sat naked and cross-legged on the ground, grinding up a small amount of weed they had bought a few nights prior, their long blonde hair cascading down their shoulders, their sharp collarbone, their soft chest, so deliciously contradictory, sniffling a little despite the oppressive warmth in the room.

Ren was sat on the side of the bed, fully clothed, watching intently as Lawrence worked.

He had surprised Lawrence with an unannounced visit after the other had finished work for the evening, a tendency that they didn’t like, and had openly admitted that they didn’t like, but had gotten used to in the months of knowing the young man.

Ren had always wondered how Lawrence could get away with smoking in the small apartment. But then, he rationalised, if their landlord didn't care about the constantly running humidifier or the plants or the little dots of black mould that spotted the white paint that was plastered on the walls, the likelihood of them caring about the lingering smell of weed was reasonably low.

Ren had never lived in a proper apartment, after all.

He wasn’t familiar with the etiquette.

Lawrence popped the top off their grinder and stuffed the rolling paper, already laid flat on top of a book about the most poisonous plants in North America, tightly with the ground-up herb. Folding it and giving it a little roll between their long fingers, they then brought the paper up to their lips and dragged their little pink tongue over the waxy strip of glue before rolling the joint up tight.

"And presto," Ren said with a chuckle, waving his outstretched palms in a playful gesture as Lawrence held the joint towards him. "Looks perfect. You always roll better than me."

"You're just not used to it yet," Lawrence mumbled softly as Ren took the joint, lazily crawling back over to their desk and putting away their grinder and rolling papers. Their voice was quiet and low, not the higher cadence they tended to speak in these days, so as not to put off the few customer service people or retail staff they interacted with.

It was nice.

Ren liked that Lawrence didn't try to mask their true selves around him.

"If you smoked a little more, you would get better." They finished, giving Ren a considered look over their shoulder, peering at him through their waterfall of blonde hair.

"Well, I only smoke with you," Ren said with an amused huff through his nose, examining the little rolled bundle inquisitively and digging a sharp claw into the thin paper as his tail idly swished to and fro behind him. "And you roll plenty well for both of us. No point in me learning."

Lawrence let out a little chuckle of their own and shrugged their broad (pale and lightly freckled and lovely, Ren thought) shoulders, kneeling back in front of Ren and waiting for him to light up.

He did so without another word, taking out a lighter (adorned with a tacky ‘Hello Kitty’ decal that Lawrence always rolled their eyes at) from his jacket pocket and lighting the end of it as he slotted it between his lips.

Taking a long, deep drag from the joint, Ren let the heavy smoke flood his lungs, flood his mind, savouring it for a moment, before finally exhaling slowly, a little unsteadily since he still wasn’t used to smoking. He held Lawrence with his gaze, that same smile still spread on his face as he breathed out the full exhale of smoke relatively smoothly.

"That's it," Lawrence praised quietly, sitting up on their knees and placing an encouraging hand on Ren’s own knee, idly stroking over the tears in his jeans, where they could feel his smooth skin beneath. "That’s nice, right? Much smoother than the last one I bought. A new guy started at the warehouse this week, a student or…or something, I dunno,” They shrugged again. “He sold it to me.”

“Mm…” Ren hummed his approval, his eyes fluttering shut as he revelled in the sleepy, dream-like haze to his brain that the weed was already giving him, as Lawrence’s touch drifted along his knee.

A blush flared up across his skin as the slow touch drifted even higher, along the inner seam of his jeans and towards another well-placed tear on his upper thigh.

Ren was never good at this.

Whenever Lawrence, whenever anyone, really, touched him like this, slowly, gently, without a malicious intention behind it ( an intention to cut, to harm, to main) , his mind went blank, like it was made of static.

People often used that inexperience against him.

It was different with Lawrence though.

There was a difference when they did it, Ren thought; when their calloused hands would span his body so carefully and gently, handling him like he was something truly precious, something worthy of being taken care of, and it made his heart flutter endlessly in his chest and his face heat up in that telltale hue of red.

A slight smile came to Lawrence’s pretty face, softened and almost gentle looking in the low light of the apartment, their grey eyes taking in the younger man with a desirous and hungry intention clearly behind them.

Ren didn’t mind that hunger though. It was safe with Lawrence.

"Take another hit," They said, still stroking up and down Ren’s thigh. "And then pass it to me."

Ren swallowed a little, his throat suddenly tight and his eyes slightly wide.

There was something about the way that Lawrence looked up at him when they did this together, the way Lawrence smiled at him and wanted him, wanted him , without any degree of harshness or cruelty behind their gaze, that made Ren feel like he was about to be swallowed up in the hunger and the fire of his desperate wanting.

Lawrence wanted him to take another hit.

And so Ren obliged.

The laced smoke flooded every one of Ren’s senses, and he couldn’t help but exhale quickly, unsteadily, with a quiet cough, bringing his free hand to his mouth to try and mask it, his ears sloping down as he coughed again.

"Good boy," Lawrence praised again with a fond chuckle, sitting up completely and taking the joint in their pretty hand, dark blue veins standing out beneath their thin wrist, ( like they were waiting to be sliced, to be cut) , as the other wrapped around Ren’s fingers, gently prying his hand away from his face. "Try not to cough too much, though. You're supposed to feel a bit of a burn there..."

“I’m okay,” Ren said with another quiet cough, taking in a quick gasp of air and passing the burning joint to them. “I’m fine. You don’t-” He coughed again, which made Lawrence laugh a little louder. “You don’t need to tell me how to smoke. I know how.”

"I know you do,” Lawrence let out another little huff of amusement with a fond shake of their head, a slight smile, and a dimpled quirk to their bitten lips, before taking a long inhale from the joint. They took it much easier than Ren did, clearly relishing the heavy smoke burning the back of their throat, their lungs, their brain, and letting it settle on their tongue for a moment or two, before letting it all out of their nose slowly, like a slumbering dragon.

Ren couldn’t help but admire Lawrence as they smoked the joint, his eyes taking in their soft lips, the way their hair was falling over their face and down their shoulders, over their chest, the burning ember of the joint dancing in their grey eyes.

Ren enjoyed this, enjoyed watching Lawrence at that moment, enjoyed that sense he got that Lawrence was at ease and peaceful around him, that they felt as safe around him as he did them, and then he felt that heat building up in his gut again, so thick and suffocating that it threatened to flood the apartment, drowning him, drowning Lawrence, together.

“I’m just looking after you.” They then said, their gaze sleepy and sweet and their voice still low. “Do you not like me looking after you?"

Ren couldn’t help but let out a nervous little laugh, a fox-like yip that he tried to mask by taking the joint again when Lawrence offered it to him.

"Oh no, I do like it. I like it plenty." Ren attempted to tease (though his forced smile didn’t quite touch his eyes), as he took another drag of the joint and savoured it carefully and considerately, just as he had just watched Lawrence do.

He breathed it deep into his lungs and held it in there for a few heart-pounding moments before letting it all out again with a long sigh, enjoying the moment of haze and dissociation that it immediately gave him as he felt the mind-melting warmth seep into his bones.

"I think that I like it more than I should, actually." He then added, softer than before.

"Hm?” Lawrence hummed, their eyes spanning down from Ren’s golden orbs and to his lips, full and soft, his fangs barely peeking over them. “And how much should you like it?" They asked quietly, letting their chin drop to Ren's knee, still stroking up and down his thigh.

A soft, sheepish look crossed Ren's face as a little smile formed on his lips in response.

"Well, I don't know. We’re friends, we…should look after each other. Probably not like this though." he said honestly, another nervous yip of awkward amusement falling from his lips as he shrugged his shoulders, letting his entire body droop backwards on Lawrence’s bed, his head leaning back against the wall, his back against the soft duvet.

Ren didn't understand what it was about Lawrence that made him so attracted to them, that made his stomach flutter like a hummingbird’s wings or made his heart beat faster every time they touched him.

He would have guessed that it might have been their mutual proclivity towards the darkness, and the shared pleasures of sadomasochism and control, but…that didn’t necessarily explain why Ren was so attracted to Lawrence, even outside of all of that, even during these softer moments where all they did was smoke and talk.

"I'd say not that much. Maybe I enjoy it more than most people do, or would." He admitted, biting his bottom lip, his sharp little fangs teasing the sensitive skin. "You…have that effect on me, I guess.”

“You guess?” Lawrence asked, raising a single pale brow, as they rested both their arms on Ren’s knees, their chin against their arms, taking another slow drag from the joint and looking like some kind of twisted angel in Ren’s lap as they did it.

“It’s weird,” Ren mumbled, letting his hands flop down heavily at his sides. “But, well…you’re a pretty weird girl, anyway. So, maybe it makes sense.”

"Weird girl," Lawrence repeated with a little laugh, shaking their head, their blonde hair covering their (pretty) face and tickling the exposed skin of Ren’s knees and his thighs. "You're…that’s silly, Ren. You’re silly."

“What? Do you have a problem with being called weird or something?” Ren then asked with a teasing smile, leaning up and glancing up from his spot on Lawrence’s bed.

“No, no, I know I’m weird,” Lawrence replied with another quiet chuckle, pressing their face against Ren’s knee. “It’s…silly to call me a girl. That’s not what I am. Not really.”

Ren sat up fully on the bed and blinked down curiously at Lawrence, who was still hiding their face, toying with the cuff of Ren’s jeans.

"That’s not silly, is it?" Ren asked with a genuine look of intrigue, wondering if he had said something wrong. "I mean, look at you!" He said, gesturing to them with outstretched palms and a nod of his head, raising the (offered) joint to his lips again and taking an easy drag. He was getting better at keeping the smoke down. "You're cute, you're pretty, you're all soft and feminine, and you’re so sweet and nice to me, and-”

Ren quickly stopped speaking when he noticed how red Lawrence was suddenly getting, as they pressed their face a little harder against Ren’s knee, now clutching the cuff of his jeans.

It quickly dawned on him what he was doing and what he was saying, and for a brief moment, Ren was frozen by his own sudden blush and bashfulness, frozen by how vulnerable he suddenly felt just from admitting his obvious attraction towards Lawrence and telling them how he felt.

Though the two weren’t dating, they weren’t exactly just friends, either, which was hardly a surprise considering the circumstances of how they had met. They had fucked around a few times, sure, engaged in some mutually beneficial dominance and submission, and, considering the developments of Lawrence’s physique and demeanour, had a profoundly important impact on each other’s lives, but…

Was it something more? Was there an opportunity for something?

Lawrence cleared their throat a little, biting their bottom lip (almost coyly) as they glanced up at Ren, their eyes hazy with smoke and…something else, not totally clear.

"I mean, I’m not much of a girl to most people," Lawrence then mumbled, keening a little further forward on their knees, their chin now resting on Ren’s thigh, as if they were desperately seeking the heat of his body.

"Well, to me..." Ren said quietly, his voice soft, his gaze flickering from Lawrence's lips to their eyes, raising his free hand to gently stroke through Lawrence’s long blonde hair, like he was petting an animal, a beloved pet, in his lap. It was soft, so much softer than he expected. "You're very much a girl to me."

Ren took a moment to consider that statement. As simple and (potentially) affirming as it was, it was an admittedly strange way to express his feelings. But Lawrence had shown him (as they had, many times before) that they could be vulnerable and open with him, and Ren was…well, he was feeling brave enough at that moment to admit what he felt.

"You're my girl." He added quietly with a nervous smile. “That’s all that matters.”

Lawrence chuckled softly, now pressing their face into Ren’s lap while keening against his palm. Their motivation wasn’t sexual, more that they were looking for a comforting warmth to burrow into, to hide, (like a pillbug hiding beneath a rotten log or a tapeworm curling up in his guts.)

"Hmmm…” Lawrence hummed lowly, like they were considering what Ren had just said for a moment too long. “ Your girl," They then said, their head tilting up slightly, their hair cascading down their shoulders, over Ren's thighs as they gazed up at them. "That's awfully sweet, Ren."

“Well, it’s true,” Ren said, his words heavy with the weight of all the emotion he felt for Lawrence, a broader smile pulling at his lips as he kept stroking through their hair, considering the silky smoothness of it between his fingers, trailing down over his thighs, and their slim body arched over his lap. “You’re mine…my girl,” He continued quietly, before taking a handful of their hair and gently urging their face upwards and their heavy grey eyes on him, his own eyes burning with desire and desperate, yearning want . ”Not anyone else’s.”

With that said, Ren leant forward and pressed his lips to Lawrence's, his fingers reaching up to cradle their face and gentle fingers brushing over their temples and through their hair.

After maybe a second of sleepy slowness, Lawrence gradually acquiesced to the hungry kiss, not even pulling away as they slowly stood to their feet and joined Ren on the bed, perching themselves in his lap and deepening the kiss, their own hands clutching onto his shoulders as they pressed themselves even closer to the young man, their soft, supple chest against his.

Ren felt like his heart was beating fast enough to fall out of his chest, and he made a soft noise of approval at the very back of his throat as he returned the deep kiss with a tenderness and passion he hadn't felt in a long time, if ever.

Well.

Maybe he’d felt it before, just once.

Lawrence pulled away for a moment, their breath long and slow against Ren’s trembling lips.

In control, at least, of themselves.

They raised the (somehow) still burning joint to their lips with a long inhale, the burning end grazing their calloused fingertips and lighting up the short space between them, softening Ren’s sharp jaw and their own long features. Their grey-blue eyes slid half-lidded as a dreamy haze overtook their expression, lovely and lost and thoughtless, a side effect of not only the weed but their growing arousal too.

"You're so pretty when you’re like that," Ren said softly as Lawrence breathed out a lungful of smoke, before leaning forward to press a quick, soft kiss to the corner of their mouth.

“What, when I smoke?” Lawrence asked, their voice deep and heavy as a touch of amusement softened their eyes, their gaze upon him.

“When you want me so badly I can see it in your face,” Ren replied, as his touch drifted down their neck, down their sloped, bony back (feeling each nub of their sharply protruding spine, wanting to push his fingers past their skin and against each bone, rip them out and hold them, break them ) and to their soft hips, pressing a second kiss to their sweet, smokey mouth. “When you’re hungry for it. Starving for it.”

His touch lingered against Lawrence’s hips for a brief moment longer before he sat back, his gaze roaming over their body, their pretty features, studying the way their face twisted in that almost-smirk as their eyes half-lidded.

“Pretty,” They said with a huff of laughter, taking in one final exhale of smoke before setting aside the still-burning nub of the joint in a little-used ashtray. “You think I’m pretty, do you?”

"Mmhmm," Ren hummed his approval, running the back of his hand up and down their scarred thigh absentmindedly as they brought themselves closer to him, their faces almost touching. "Mmh. I think you’re beautiful. Quite a catch."

"Well…consider me caught, then," They said with a slight smirk, exhaling the final breath of smoke against Ren's lips, making his head spin wildly, one of their (lovely, pretty, perfect) hands pressed to his chest.

Ren imagines, for maybe a second, Lawrence reaching their hands into his chest and tearing him open, a crack of broken bones and torn skin, bathing themselves in his blood and taking each of his organs between their teeth to kiss, devour, to carry him with them always.

He shivered at the idea of it.

He swore he didn’t think of things like that before.

But maybe he didn’t want to think about anything else, when he could have this and these feelings.

"Good," Ren whispered without vocalising the violent impulses in his head, his voice low and husky as a small smile danced across his parted lips, taking in a lungful of the laced smoke, his warped mind absolutely swimming from it.

After a moment of hesitation, the air heavy with soft breathes and thick humidity, Ren then leaned forward and pressed another deep kiss to Lawrence's lips, letting his hand come up and grip their face, digging his claws into their cheeks ever so slightly, relishing in the soft gasp of pain they let out as he did so.

"Mmh," Lawrence groaned softly, wrapping their arms around Ren's neck, the taste of smoke still heavy on their tongue as it slid against Ren's.

Their mouth was warm and wet with spit and drool, (drool Ren wanted to see pooling down their chin, on a cement floor, on his boots) , and the kiss grew even more tender, and yet, somehow, more desperate and hard too. Ren wanted more. So much more. And evidently, Lawrence did too as they keened their hips down into Ren’s lap, their slowly hardening cock rubbing against his thigh, groaning softly at the friction of the denim against the sensitive head.

"I want you," Ren said hungrily, pulling away from the kiss for just a moment, dragging his tongue over their plump bottom lip, wanting to bite, wanting to tear into the delicate body in his lap as he had imagined them doing to him. "I really, really want you."

"So, take me," Lawrence mumbled, pressing their forehead against Ren's as their breaths came out a little quicker and desperate, threading their long fingers into the back of Ren’s short hair and taking twin handfuls of it. "Take me..."

And like that, without another spoken word, Ren took the initiative.

Ren leant forward and took Lawrence's lips again in a hard and hungry kiss (because all he wanted to do is kiss them and kiss them and kiss them, and nothing else, nothing violent or demeaning or brutal, not at all), his hands sliding down and gripping at their soft hips.

The feel of their lips against his was electric, like the buzzing of television static against skin in the middle of the night, and he kissed them as if the only thing he had been waiting for was Lawrence to offer themselves to him, subservience on a silver platter, before taking them as he pleased.

Lawrence let out a little noise of surprise (of pain, of pleasure, of something in between) as Ren dug his sharp claws into their hips and flipped their bodies completely so that Lawrence was now pressed into the bed and Ren was on top of them. He caged their body down with his own (much smaller body), still kissing them, hard and fast, a heat building up in his gut, his pulse racing, that familiar tension building up at the base of his neck and spreading through his entire body.

Given the new leverage over them, Ren ran a hand up the inside of their bare thigh and leaned in (somehow) even closer to deepen the kiss even more, his tongue probing their warm, wet mouth, his lips hungry, greedy for more.

Lawrence moaned helplessly into the kiss, digging their bitten fingernails ( sharp and biting against his flesh ) into Ren's shoulders, forcing his jacket down his arms so that they could press their hands beneath his vest, feel the sweat trickling down his sloping spine ( that they had promised to one day keep, cherish on a mantelpiece, pickle in a jar ), feel warm skin against skin, and cut into his pale flesh.

Ren pulled away from the kiss with a sharp gasp at the pain, as Lawrence’s nails grazed over one of his pre-existing scars, a thin line of spittle drooling over Lawrence’s gasping lips as he moaned at the flaring pain.

“Ohhh, fuck,” Ren whined softly, his eyelids fluttering at the continued drag of Lawrence’s nails down his scarred skin. “Mm, god…y-you like that, huh? Digging into me? Leaving your mark behind on me…” Ren asked, the corners of his lips twitching into a slight smile.

He took a moment to look down at Lawrence and admire their face, the soft pink blush growing on their pale cheeks from the excitement of their intimacy, and the way they were gripping his skin so tightly and clawing at his back without even a slight change in their dreamy expression.

"Yeah," They replied, their voice pitched up a little out of a desperate, keening want, biting their ( kiss-bitten, plump with blood and deliciously addictive ) lips. "Yeah, I like it. Dig into me, too..."

“Dig into you…fuck, Law, you don’t even know what you’re asking from me.” He repeated Lawrence’s words with a growing smile, an almost fond warmth in his golden eyes as he returned to their lips, diving back in and kissing Lawrence with renewed intensity and fervour.

He didn’t, couldn't think about anything else but Lawrence and that moment, that feeling, as their warm mouth welcomed his again, making his heart flutter and his stomach tighten.

Ren leant into them completely, his smaller body pressing against Lawrence’s again, and with every passing moment, he felt more and more aware of the heat building up in the pit of his stomach and coiling hot and tight at his very core.

It naturally became too much for Ren to handle by himself, though, as his groping touch reached across from Lawrence’s hips and to their soft, scarred thighs ( wanting to replace each scar with his own) , forcing them apart (smirking at the soft squeak of surprise Lawrence let out from being manhandled so roughly, wanting to handle them rougher, force their body open, force it down, force them to take him, no matter how bad it was ) and up against their soft chest, giving himself an ample space to rock the tight bulge in his jeans against.

"Nghhh, oh, god," Lawrence wrenched themselves away from the kiss with another high, desperate whine, tipping their head back as they wrapped a long leg around Ren's slim waist (the best that they could), urging him closer, urging their cocks to press together, despite the barriers of fabric in the way. "God, please...fuck me, please-!"

“I’m going to,” Ren said in a low, breathless voice, his heart racing as he felt the tight hold of Lawrence’s leg around his body, one hand coming up and cupping their face as he kissed them again hungrily, hurriedly, his other hand slowly starting to move down to the buckle of his belt ( suppressing the urge to remove it and wrap it around their neck, choke them, watch them suffocate ). “Don’t worry, baby, I’m going to." He said again in a hot whisper against their parted lips, as the metal belt loop quickly came undone, his movements starting to grow quicker and more frantic with all the excitement that was rushing down to his nether regions.

Lawrence chased after another kiss, pressing their tongue past Ren’s gasping lips, exploring his mouth deeply and intently, as they reached down to help Ren with his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans and shucking them down his skinny, scarred hips.

Pulling away from the kiss (much to Lawrence’s disappointment) Ren then leaned down and kissed Lawrence's slim neck, his sharp teeth (cannibal teeth, aching to rip into and tear the more vulnerable body beneath him) grazing against the soft skin and leaving a trail of bruising bites in their wake. Lawrence would have to go to the warehouse with lovebites covering their neck tomorrow, unable to hide them with their uniform.

Something about that small declaration of possessive ownership made something in Ren’s core tighten even more.

“Mmmh,” Ren groaned softly at the thought, his eyelids fluttering at the feeling of Lawrence gently squeezing his cock through the thin fabric of his underwear, his fingers working their way back towards Lawrence's hips, digging his claws in ( hoping to mark them even further) . “I love seeing you like this.”

“Like what?” Lawrence mumbled softly as Ren pressed his face into their sharp collarbone (so sharp, Ren wondered if the bone would ever puncture their pale skin, wondered what that would look like) , tucking the waistband of his underwear beneath his cock and cradling it gently in their pretty hand.

“Spread out, pinned down underneath me,” Ren admitted with a chuckle, letting his eyes slide shut as he rocked his hips into Lawrence’s slowly tightening grasp, desperately seeking a warm tightness to sink his cock into. “Like, ah…like a butterfly.”

"A moth," Lawrence then said (like they were correcting him), pressing a kiss to the crown of Ren's hair and gripping his cock a little tighter. "A death-head moth. Pinned down and framed on your wall, exactly where I should be..."

"Mph," Ren groaned softly at the tightening hold, his hips jerking erratically biting his lip hard, not really listening to what Lawrence was saying, he was so lost in his own pleasure. "An animal skin...waiting to be stuffed and filled, hah…"

“Fill me up then,” Lawrence whispered, bringing their lips down to Ren’s again, grazing them over his own, just barely a kiss and god, all Ren wanted was to kiss them ( claim them, own them) . “I want to, I want you to. Fill me.”

“God, you make me feel crazy,” Ren murmured with a slight giggle as he pressed a fleeting kiss to Lawrence’s lips, pressing them down against the bed again and reaching back into his jean pocket for a sachet of lube (he tended to carry them now, whenever he saw Lawrence, just in case). “Like, my mind stops working when I’m around you…I can’t control myself.”

“Ah, is that so bad?” Lawrence murmured, biting their lip a touch as Ren took their spread thigh in hand and pressed it against their soft chest again, smearing his now lube-covered fingers against their hole, watching intently as they opened for him so beautifully, like the petals of a flower blooming in the first ray of sunshine in spring.

“Mm, you tell me,” Ren replied, his expression suddenly dark and hungry as he keened a little closer forward, practically folding Lawrence’s long body in two as he hooked one finger against the rim of Lawrence’s hole, teasing the tight ring of muscle with a slow, meandering touch.

The two didn’t say anything for a while, barring the growing, needy whimpers that fell from Lawrence’s parted lips as Ren easily slid a finger, two fingers, three fingers inside of them, pressing them in and out at a slow pace and listening to the growing intensity behind each of Lawrence’s whines. Doing this enough had loosened them up well, and Ren was eager to take them ( take what was his, what he had earned, what he was owed).

"Hah, nnnh, go slow," Lawrence drawled, their quivering voice a long, drawn-out moan and their eyelids fluttering as Ren pulled back his fingers and lined his cock against their ass, their hips still practically flush as he adjusted himself and squeezed more lube around the base of his cock. "Nghh, slowly, slowly…"

"Shh…I’ve got you, don’t worry, baby…” Ren shushed patiently as he (slowly, slowly, he wants to go hard and fast but he won’t, he’s good, he would treat them so well if they let him) pressed his cock into the tight heat of Lawrence's asshole, letting out a steadying breath through his teeth as his lube-covered fingers reached up to wrap around their cock, giving their keening hips a tight hole to fuck into as he did the same. “I’ve got you.”

"Nghh…ah," Lawrence bit their lip and grimaced (just a touch) as Ren slid his cock inside, tilting their head back as he kissed down their neck, over their collarbone, his sharp teeth and fangs leaving teasing little nips on their skin that threatened to bruise.

"Is this okay?" Ren asked quietly, his voice husky and filled with lustful wanting, his free hand working its way down to Lawrence’s hip, giving himself slightly more leverage as he sank his cock deeper inside of them, gradually working himself down to the base. The way Lawrence grimaced made him pause though, and he pressed a light kiss on one of his darker bites as a kind of apology. He had enough self-control to stop when he needed to ( he still had that, if nothing else) . "Do I need to stop?"

"N-No, I like it," Lawrence said, shaking their head as their cheeks flushed even darker, reaching down to hook a hand around their knee and pull themselves open, presenting themselves ( like a slut, like a whore, like his own personal plaything) . "I like it, don't stop..."

“Good,” Ren said the word softly with a slight smile, quickly pushing the hair out of their eyes ( they wanted to see their face while he did this to them, while he violated them) and breathing in before easing himself even deeper inside. “‘Cus I like it too. I really, really like it…”

Building up a more even rhythm of thrusts, Ren pressed their hips down against the bed ( to stop them from squirming so much, stop them from getting away and trying to escape, he didn’t even need a collar-) , running his claws up and down their softening curves, admiring them as they twitched and writhed underneath him, squeezing his cock beautifully each time they flinched.

His knot was practically throbbing by the time he had worked the length of his cock inside of Lawrence's hole, and it took every ounce of self-control he ( still) had to not press himself completely inside of the vulnerable body beneath him and take them regardless of the consequences.

"L-Law," He muttered softly, peering down at Lawrence (peering into their hazy grey eyes) as he continued to rock himself inside of them. "Can I...can you take a-all of it...please?"

"Mm," Lawrence responded affirmatively, giving Ren a quick nod as they idly ran their tongue over their bottom lip. "Mmhmm, yeah. Go on."

A giddy little smile came to Ren’s face as he reached over for the lube again, getting out the last of it around the base of his cock, the hot ring of muscle swallowing him up. He could see Lawrence flinch a little again at the cold, but he knew they would appreciate the (attempted) comfort the lube would provide.

"Nghhh, fuck-!" Lawrence grunted lowly, a growing look of discomfort on their face as Ren eased his growing knot inside of them, their legs trembling as they tightened around him, an understandable reaction to the sudden sensation of pain. It eventually relaxed, though, into something more pleased and hungry, and Ren almost collapsed right then and there as they squeezed around his cock, deliciously and addictively tight.

They’d gotten used to taking him like this, it seemed.

The very idea of that ( that he had trained them to take it and love it and crave it, crave his pain, his cock) made something dark and twisted curl up inside of Ren’s core, refusing to leave.

He liked it more than he would ever admit.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ren whispered, his voice ragged and breathy, trailing the tip of his claw over Lawrence’s flushed cockhead and over their oozing slit, making his lover tremble and whine even more as the grip on their own knee tightened a little. “God, I fucking love touching you.” He continued in a low hum, an idle smile tugging at his lips. “Every inch of your body just feels like heaven.”

"Mph..." Lawrence gasped softly, their lower half keening forward, pressing down against Ren’s knot as he kept touching them, sticky lines of pre-cum smearing against the soft hairs of their soft stomach. "Keep touching me...please."

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Ren replied as the hungry intent behind his eyes grew even more.

He took a few indulgent moments to just admire Lawrence’s body, to watch as their tight muscles quivered at the slightest touch, watching like a voyeur (a paying customer behind a screen) . There was something so intimately beautiful about each of Lawrence’s reactions, their soft moans of pleasure and those tiny gasps that left their parted lips, red and kiss-bitten (waiting to be gagged, spread open, to be penetrated, to be spread around a cock) .

“Anything you want.”

"Ahh...yeah?” They breathed out a short sigh, looking up at Ren with half-lidded eyes, dreamy and sleepy looking. “Anything I want?"

“Mhm.” Ren said quietly, his voice calm and soft ( in control, always in control) as he looked down at Lawrence and admired them once again with a small smile, a dark intention behind his golden eyes. “I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever it is you want me to do. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

"What if I wanted you to open my chest," Lawrence then asked, that sleepy haze shifting as something primal and hungry overtook the intention behind their grey eyes, reaching forward to take Ren's face in their shaking hands, pulling his face down to meet theirs. "And take out my heart, hm? Break my bones and take out my organs. Would you do that? "

With those words, Ren remembered why he loved Lawrence, a manic, equally primal smile growing on his face as he let himself be pulled down to their level.

They’re just like me. They understand.

“I’d do it.” He said shakily, his voice thick and heavy with the overwhelming feeling of being so intimately known, closing his eyes and leaning forward, pressing his forehead against Lawrence’s, his voice barely a whisper. The scent of sweat, semen and sex was heavy in the thick air of the apartment and Ren was dizzy from the intoxicating aroma. “I’d do anything for you, Law. You know that, don’t you?”

“I know, baby,” Lawrence then said, their soft lips grazing over Ren's as their other leg wrapped around his waist, and pulled him in closer, like a Venus flytrap closing on a willing fly. "And what if I wanted to do it, hm? Tear into you and take your heart in my teeth…would you let me, Ren? Would you let me eat you? "

“I’d let you,” Ren whispered, tears welling in his eyes as he bit his lip to resist a smile. “Anything for you.”

Instead of crying, Ren leaned forward for another kiss, a longer one this time, deep and all-consuming, jus t like Lawrence had consumed him, every thought, every dream and nightmare , and in that brief moment, he felt like they were the only two people in the entire world.

It was like nothing else mattered outside of the four walls of Lawrence’s studio apartment.

Not his past, not his future, not the impulses that plagued his fucked up mind and kept him awake at night, not anything at all.

It was just the two of them. Lawrence. Ren.

The moment he broke off the kiss, he looked down at Lawrence again, his golden eyes dilated and almost black with arousal and yearning, drinking in their features and taking in every small detail, each wrinkle, each freckle, each pore and micro-expression, trying to devote their lovely face to memory, so he’d never forget it.

"I want you to have me,” Lawrence mumbled against his lips again, their fingers idly stroking through his hair, over his ears as they tilted forward on top of his head. “All of me. Every inch."

Ren stilled for another moment, his heart suddenly beating faster at Lawrence's words.

He kept staring down at Lawrence's face for some time, fixated on the way Lawrence's hazy eyes met his own, the way they were so earnest in their delivery of such a powerful statement, the way they so willingly threw their entire life away to be with Ren, for Ren to have them, mind, body, and soul , and yet... he couldn't help but smile.

"I want to have you too." He finally said simply, almost insistently, his voice quiet and his eyes filled with the earnestness he really and truly felt. "Since the moment I met you, I wanted every part of you, always.”

"Take me then," Lawrence whispered, pressing the bumped bridge of their nose against Ren's jaw (Ren always said how much he loved their nose), keening closer to him, their legs still tight around his waist. "I'm ready for you. Take me."

"Take you how?" Ren replied, his voice just as much a whisper, his breathing quick again as Lawrence pressed themselves closer to him, his fluttering stomach growing tight with anticipation. “How do you want me to take you?”

"In every sense of the word," Lawrence replied with a huffed little chuckle, pressing a kiss to Ren’s temple. "Take me apart, take me away, fuck me, hurt me, kill me if you really must...anything you want. Just take me."

The words hit Ren like a sucker punch to the gut, and for a moment, all he could feel was an overwhelming rush of heat that ran through his entire body, from his scalp to the tips of his toes. It left a sick, burning ache in his gut that only got worse and worse (or better) as Lawrence spoke, their words ringing in his ears, flooding his brain and sending the same message over and over again.

Anything you want.

You can have it.

Anything you want , Lawrence had said, and the thought of what that might mean left him sick to his stomach in the very best of ways, and he looked down at Lawrence, at their pretty face, their warped body, his stomach was churning.

It was an overwhelming feeling, really.

Every impulse he'd ever had, every sickening thought that kept him awake at night, any violent desire he'd had to hold onto those he cared about and never let them go, no matter how bloody or despicable the outcome, had not only been allowed, but actively encouraged.

Lawrence was begging for it.

Ren could hear it in the way they spoke, in the way they looked at him, in the way their grey eyes pleaded so silently, as their legs tightened around his waist and their asshole swallowed his cock so greedily and readily.

Ren looked down at Lawrence again, his own golden eyes wide and pleading in their own special way, his breath becoming heavier and slower as he was caught in a dilemma.

To be open, to be honest with the other person, the only other person that he might have loved other than [...], or to keep hiding everything away.

The things Lawrence had said had left a sick feeling in Ren’s gut, his mind filled with the worst of ‘what if’s’, the best of ‘could have’s’.

He took another breath inwards through his teeth

"You really mean that, don't you?" He asked Lawrence, his eyes searching his for reassurance. “You want me to have you. To take you. That’s…you’re not joking, right?”

"I want you," Lawrence reassured him, pressing another kiss to Ren's jaw, their low voice soft as it washed over Ren, warm, comforting, all-encompassing. "Whatever that is…however it looks. I just want you."

Ren could have wept, his thrusting stilling as he fell, deeply overwhelmed, further into his lover, his face pressed into their chest, his grasping hands digging into the soft flesh of their hips, marring them with crescents not deep enough to draw blood despite the obvious sharpness of his claws.

"I want you too," Ren repeated, his voice wavering just a touch as he muttered against Lawrence’s chest. “I just…I don’t want to scare you, Law. I don’t want you to leave, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if that happened.”

“You won’t scare me,” Lawrence murmured with a soft chuckle, bringing their forehead to Ren’s again and cradling this jaw in their pretty hand. “I’ve seen you, Ren…I’ve seen everything that you are. And it doesn’t scare me. You don’t scare me.”

They kissed him quickly, sweetly, a kiss that was not so deep or passionate as it was quiet and understanding.

“I want you. Everything that you are, whatever that means.”

Ren swallowed down a lump in his throat, his eyes wide and his body totally still.

All he had ever wanted was someone to know him, truly know him, and to stay and love him regardless of what they saw.

Some had fallen for what had been on the surface, the mask of sweet, cute if somewhat bumbling awkwardness he wore to get through day-to-day life.

They had been kind, sometimes as awkward as he was, and he had wanted them so, so badly, so much that it almost made him sick from want. But ultimately, despite his wanting, they never stayed when they saw what lay underneath.

They had never stayed when they saw his darkness, his hungry yearning, the danger that lay behind that wanting. He had always been too much for those people and he had always been left lonely and abandoned, after getting his hopes up so high.

But not anymore.

Lawrence had seen him, was still seeing him, seeing his darkness, seeing the dangerous hunger that possessed his soul, and had begged to love him and to claim him as their own.

He didn't know when he started crying. But when he realised it, when he felt the cool spill of tears down his burning cheeks, he found that he couldn't stop.

"Oh, sweet boy," Lawrence cooed, gently urging his face up to their own again, dragging their soft lips over Ren’s, despite how much they were trembling with unspilled sobs. "Why are you crying, baby?"

"I love you." He said finally, his voice thick with tears.

The first time he said it. It had fallen from his lips on accident, he swore, but Lawrence barely reacted to such an admission.

"I love you too." Lawrence mumbled quietly, pressing a sweet kiss to Ren’s mouth before they lapped, delicately, at one of the tears trickling down his cheek, over the markings on his cheeks. “I loved you the moment I saw you. That’s why I know you, Ren.”

Lawrence said it so easily, like they didn’t even have to think about it. That was enough to make Ren cry a little more, thick tears spilling down his cheeks.

"I-I never thought-" Ren stuttered, unsure if he should keep thrusting (despite how much his cock, his knot, were still throbbing), but when he attempted to pull back, Lawrence kept his body very much pinned to their own, their long (trembling) legs constricting around his waist. Tethered. Together, forever. "I would have someone who knew me. W-Who saw me like you do. And now I have it, it doesn't feel-" He swallowed, as another flurry of tears fell from his eyes. "It doesn't feel real."

“I know how you feel,” Lawrence murmured softly, running a gentle hand through his hair, stroking over his ears again. “It doesn’t feel real, I know it doesn’t.” Ren swallowed at those words, remembering the new marks that marred Lawrence’s thighs, almost taking a sick and twisted pride in having caused them . “But it is. This is real.” They cupped his jaw again, looking down intently at his tear-stricken face. “I’m real, and I want you, Ren. So, take me.”

“Okay.”

Ren answered in a whisper, his voice a little more quiet.

“Okay,” Ren said again, biting his lip as his thrusting hips continued almost erratically as a flame of lust was lit deep inside his core. "B-But don't worry..." Ren then said with a subdued smile. "I won't hurt you. I won’t, I promise."

A lie.

What was the point in promising something that was so obviously a lie?

"I don't mind if you hurt me," Lawrence mused softly, a dreamy look coming to their face, letting their naked body lie back on the bed, fingers trailing up and down Ren's sloped back. "If it's what you wanted..."

Ren was caught off-guard, his hips stuttering just a little, but Lawrence's words made his heart skip a beat as a small jolt of excitement ran through him. Had they been smart enough to see through the lie, or…did they just know him as well as they said they did?

"You want me to hurt you, Lawrence?" He asked, his voice quiet and husky as he raised himself on top of the other body, pressing his cock a little deeper inside of them and watching intently as Lawrence groaned and squirmed again. "Is that what you're telling me?"

"M-Maybe," Lawrence replied coyly, a coquettish haze to their half-lidded eyes as they bit their lip. "Maybe I do..."

Ren’s mouth immediately went dry with thirst and anticipation as he leaned over Lawrence’s warped body again, warping, tight, he wants to always have Lawrence’s tight body writhing beneath his, god, their body underneath his always, on their knees .

"You’ll let me hurt you,” He said, his voice little more than a whisper, ragged and breathy as his eyes went wide, his pupils dilating. “Really…how?”

"Mm, you can bite me, if you want to." Lawrence said, raising a single blonde brow as they looked up at him coyly through their hair. "Dig your fangs into me. Scar me, claim me..." They continued, sitting up a little against the bed too and pressing their hands down the back of Ren's tank again, running their fingers across his scars. "I know it's what you want. It's what I want too."

The words washed over him like a wave, warm, comforting, drowning, all-encompassing, and hit Ren like a punch in the gut.

There was no telling of the shock and excitement that filled him, and as Lawrence placed their hands on him, touching, adoring, worshipping his scars ( all the ways in which someone else had claimed him) , he felt his breath grow heavier.

"You're perfect," Ren whispered.

Acting on nothing but pure animal impulse and instinct, Ren pressed himself over Lawrence, forcing their slim body back down against the bed, as he sank his fangs into the flesh of their shoulder.

"NGH!" Lawrence let out a weak cry of pain, biting their lip hard to resist letting out any louder sounds (they were always so conscious of being loud and their neighbours overhearing anything that they did), digging their bitten nails into Ren's back and keening their soft chest forward, pressing against his.

"Mmm..." Ren moaned quietly, the sound of pleasure coming from his throat and his teeth sinking even deeper and sharper into Lawrence's skin, his claws digging lightly against their skin as he held himself over them. He continued to fuck into his lover fiercely too, like a rabid, feral beast inside of him had been taken off its leash and allowed to have free reign of his entire being.

He thought the comparison was quite apt, actually.

"You're so, soooo perfect,” Ren said again, his voice rasped as he pulled away from the bloody wound, his gasping mouth painted with it, his fangs trailing blood down their chest, down his chin. “I don't know how I got so lucky." To make up for the vicious bite, he tongued and kissed the wound quickly, softly, his thrusts slowing down again into an even pace that still buried him brutally deep inside of his lover. "You're, like…my dream girl, Law."

He breathed in the heady smell of their skin, their hair, their blood still pooling down the wound, and when he pulled back a little, his eyes closed slowly, the expression on his face was something between pleasure and an almost painful bliss.

When he looked down again, Ren saw that Lawrence's body was trembling, the pierced flesh throbbing and burning under the heavy air of the apartment, enough to make them whimper and shake.

"I love you," Lawrence whispered, their voice quivering just an edge and raising in pitch and volume, as a drop of blood spilt down their soft, panting chest, painting their pale skin. "I love you, I love you, I love you-!"

“I love you too…” Ren replied with a wide smile as he pressed another gentle kiss to the edge of the bite, almost an apology for being so rough, reaching up to idly stroke and grope their chest, smiling at the way the soft flesh now filled his palm ( something perfectly soft to play with, something Lawrence had given him so willingly) .

"Ngh..." Lawrence whined needily, their face flushed almost bright red as Ren dragged his tongue over the bite again, jerking their head to the side as they let out short, gasped breaths of pain.

“Why are you so perfect?” He whispered as he continued kissing and biting Lawrence’s neck, the taste of their blood on his tongue, the heat of their pale, pallid skin and the sound of their desperate, little whimpers only making Ren’s heart beat a little faster.

There was something so addictive in Lawrence’s reactions to each of Ren’s bites, and seeing them conciously seek Ren and his comfort ( his validation, good girl, such a good girl, taking my bite so well, you’re mine, YOU’RE MINE) out, just made him feel so loved and intimately needed, in a way he’d never admit to wanting.

“You’re just so perfect, I don’t understand. You have to be…made up. Pretend. I must have imagined you somehow…” Ren sighed with a dreamy smile, nipping Lawrence’s neck again, before stopping and bringing them into a long, slow kiss.

Lawrence clung needily to Ren, just as he wanted , acclimating to the kiss almost instantly as each bite throbbed painfully, addictively.

"God, you're everything I want and need." He whispered, pressing another soft kiss against Lawrence's lips.

"Mm...my perfect boy," Lawrence said softly, sleepily, like they weren’t all there in their mind and maybe they weren’t , chasing after another kiss needily, their kiss-bitten lips bloody and parted for him. "My perfect, perfect boy...I love you so much."

"I love you too." Ren’s response was quiet and soft, and as he felt Lawrence pressing themselves closer again, their words filled Ren with a sense of pure euphoria that he had never experienced before.

He loved Lawrence, and that was one thing he knew for certain, in a world, a life full of uncertainties.

But hearing Lawrence say it with such sincerity, like Ren was their entire world and more, made him even more sure of his own love for the blonde. And as he kissed Lawrence again, Ren felt like his chest was overflowing with all the love he had, and his voice was little more than a quiet, gentle sigh of pleasure.

“My perfect girl.”

Lawrence pressed their forehead against Ren's shoulder, clinging onto him closely and breathing slowly as Ren picked up the pace of his thrusts again, wanting to push them both past the finish line and see Lawrence fall apart completely underneath him.

“Let me see you, perfect girl,” Ren then whispered, dragging a fang along the rim of Lawrence’s (newly pierced, under Ren’s suggestion) ear, daring to bite down. “Let me see you fall apart at the seams…”

Before long, Ren pressed his hand against Lawrence's bite mark, pushing them back down against the bed and fucking them deeply, intently, his narrow hips slamming against their ass with each thrust. They cried out loudly with pleasure, suddenly uncaring of what their neighbours had to say, gasping in time with each of Ren's frantic thrusts, digging their heels into the small of their lover's back as they were fucked, relentlessly.

“AH-AH-AH!” Lawrence cried out a pattern in deep, desperate whines, throwing their head back, exposing their bitten, bruised throat as their entire body went tight with pleasure. “Yes, fuck, god, yes, yes! That’s it, right there, don’t stop!"

Ren pounded that specific spot deep inside of Lawrence again and again, hard and fast and eager to empty himself inside of his lover, his knot throbbing each time Lawrence’s flinches made them tighten.

"You’re mine, Law," He said with a frightening level of lucidity behind his words, behind his dilated eyes, as he pressed his hips against Lawrence’s backside, their flesh flush and hot and god, if Ren could stay here forever, he would die happily. "My girl, my pet, my fucking, nghh…my fucking plaything." He recited like a mantra, a prayer, as he continued to rut desperately inside of them, the head of his cock brushing a bundle of nerves inside of his lover, making their clinging body tighten even more.

“Ren, ah-!” Lawrence gasped, dragging their hands down Ren’s back to the very small of it, fingers tangling in his constantly wagging tail. “Y-Yeah, I’m yours, all yours…”

“Mm, say it for me, baby,” Ren then growled softly, reaching down and taking Lawrence’s chin in his hand, forcing their head back against the mattress and their eyes on his. “Tell me what you are. I’ve already said it for you, sweet girl, you just have to repeat it…go on.”

“Rennn…” Lawrence whined desperately, their grey eyes unfocused and fluttering as they rolled back into their skull, their hips keening down against the other’s cock, seeking more. “Hah…mm, I’m your girl, Ren, I’m your pet…”

“Good girl, good girl,” Ren praised, dipping his face slightly and bringing it close to Lawrence’s, so close that he could feel their gasping breaths against his skin. “What was the last one now, hm? I just need that one.”

“I’m your plaything,” They whimpered again, craning their neck forward in a desperate attempt to chase after a kiss. “I’m your plaything, baby, please-!”

Ren grinned sharply, his fangs hooked over his lips and his eyes sparking, twinkling with a deeply satisfied mirth.

“Just so you know, Law…I’m never going to let you go now.” He whispered, unsure if the statement was a threat or a promise as he pressed another quick kiss to Lawrence’s ear. “I’ll always take care of you, though…I promise. I’ll always look after you, forever and ever.”

That statement alone was apparently more than enough to get his trembling lover’s body to completely tighten up around his aching cock and, pressing their face to the crook of his shoulder and his neck to muffle their own shrieks of pleasure, and milk him of every drop, forcing his shaking body to practically double over and spill deep (so deep, deep enough to feel like he had penetrated an organ) inside of Lawrence.

Pushing them both over the line of orgasm and into a world of white-hot, mind-melting ecstasy that was now available to him, whenever he wanted it.

After a few moments of heavy breathing between them, Ren eventually pulled back and reached down, easing himself away from a deeply satisfying mess of warmth dripping and oozing out of Lawrence’s hole.

Easing his knot away from the warm body was a struggle, but he managed, somehow.

“Mm…” Lawrence moaned softly, the only reminder that they were still even awake, before leaning up to wrap their lean arms around Ren’s neck again, seeking his warmth and comfort.

Gently, they pulled him down to their level, a silent invitation for him to curl up against them, his head to their soft (bloody) chest and his softening cock pressed to their scarred thigh.

Ren sighed softly and happily, nuzzling a little closer to Lawrence and indulging himself in the warmth of their gently slumbering body. A slight look of concern came to his face when he noticed the bite he had left behind on Lawrence’s neck, still throbbing and painful looking.

It might even scar.

He sort of hoped that it would.

"Does it still hurt?" Ren whispered softly, looking up at Lawrence as he reached up to idly touch the harsh-looking bite.

"A little," Lawrence mumbled sleepily, drawing in a quick hiss when Ren touched the bite and idly carding their fingers through Ren’s sweaty hair. "I like it though…it feels kind of nice. Grounding."

"You... You do?" Ren asked, blinking his golden eyes up at the other person, his tail swishing again. "You like the pain? Is it... Is it because it's from me?"

"Of course I do," Lawrence said with a soft laugh, like it was obvious. "This bite is yours, so of course, I like it. It’s yours...just like I am now."

"You mean..." Ren continued, his heart speeding up at what Lawrence said, hesitating for just a moment, like he wanted to be sure that they meant what they were saying. His stomach felt warm and full, albeit a little tight with anxious energy, and in a quiet, quiet voice, Ren asked, "I…really own you? It wasn’t just…dirty talk or…whatever."

"Always," Lawrence nodded, clinging tighter to the young man, their own eyes closed and peaceful. Like they didn’t even need to think about it, just like their love. "Always, always, always..."

“Always…” Ren repeated, a little more loudly, a little more proudly. "Always mine. You really mean it, you really do…" He continued with a giddy smile, clinging onto Lawrence’s body as his tail wagged and wagged and wagged. “I’m…so lucky.”

Yes, he was so lucky.

Lawrence was all his.

They lay together like that for a while, Lawrence's penetrated chest rising and falling beneath Ren’s head as they breathed, taking in lungfuls of the close, heavy air that permeated the apartment.

Ren watched Lawrence for some time, his eyes flickering from the blonde's bloodied wound to their face, gentle and almost sleepy looking as they held him close, their soft chest rising and falling with each breath.

The calmness and peace that Lawrence's presence exuded almost felt too comfortable, like the two of them had been doing this for a long time. It felt almost as if they had been together for far longer than the few months they had actually just known one another, maybe since the beginning of time itself. Not like time really mattered anyway, not any more.

Not when they had each other.

"I love you," Ren whispered, his voice barely louder than a breath, as he leaned and pressed his mouth against Lawrence's neck again, his sharp teeth biting lightly into their skin. "I love you so much…my perfect girl."

"Mm…I love you too," Lawrence murmured quietly, running their fingers up and down Ren’s back, feeling the warmth of his skin.

"And I meant it, you know.” Ren then said suddenly, sitting up on the bed and looking down at his lover, his golden eyes soft with fondness, soft with lust. “I’m never going to let you go now. And you gave me your word to stay that way, too!” When he heard himself whisper the words, the underlying intensity behind each one, he felt his face heat up, but he didn't stop himself as a grin came to his face. "You’re mine, and…and I’m yours too. We belong to each other now."

The grin faded into a dreamy smile, just as fond, just as loving, as he ran his fingers up and down Lawrence’s chest.

"Mm..." Lawrence hummed simply, letting their head drift back against the bed and reaching down to gently squeeze Ren’s knee as they lay there in heavy silence, just…staring at the mould-dotted ceiling.

Like they didn’t even have to think about it.

“Well,” Ren then sat forward again, the expression on his face expectant as his tail wagged. “Do you have anything to say?”

Lawrence hesitated for a moment, opening one grey eye and taking in one more heavy breath.

"...Did you want another joint?"

Ren blinked and sat against the wall, his slow stroking of Lawrence’s body stopping.

“Um,” He murmured softly, glancing to the side. “Yeah…yeah, okay.” He smiled and sat forward. “Sure. Thank you.”

"Kay, I’ll just get my stuff again." Lawrence said softly, sitting up from the bed and rubbing at the sore spot on their shoulder, a grimace of pain on their pretty face.

“I brought my laptop too,” Ren said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, his tail wagging. “We can watch that anime I was telling you about, if you want to.”

“Mm, maybe,” Lawrence hummed, running their fingers through the ends of their hair. “Let me roll up first.”

“Okay.” Ren replied simply with a little pout, his eyes flitting to the side as his ears drooped a little at the thinly coded rejection. “We don’t have to. I just…thought it would be fun, I guess.”

Noticing Ren’s somewhat dejected expression, Lawrence then leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to the crown of Ren's head, running their thumb along the sharp curve of his jaw.

“We can watch it,” They said softly, kissing him again. “It sounds fun. Love you…”

"I love you too," Ren whispered with a giddy smile, keening up to the kiss, his ears upright and his tail wagging again. “So much.”

And, as Lawrence moved off the bed to retrieve their supplies, giving his head one last kiss, Ren looked up at them for another quiet, tender moment, his heart racing, clenching tightly in his rib cage, before he let himself lie back against the bed and close his eyes.

He was happier than he had ever been.

He just hoped that Lawrence was just as happy.

#boyfriend to death #btd #ren hana #lawrence oleander #ren btd #lawrence btd #ren x lawrence #ray's fics #understand my vision. UNDERSTAND IT BOY!!!!!!!#anyway the message of this fic is just because someone understands you. doesn't mean they're the best fit #but ya know. toxic yuri etc etc.

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