#sashimimi

[ladysunamireads]

#AO3 Link #FanFiction #AO3 Wangxian #♥ #Wangxian #Wen Ning #MDZS #⚔️ #R:T #Angst #A:Sashimimi 777

[yutadori]

i

#HELP I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT MUCH #im not surprised at all the keshi but am i surprised that its that much . yes . #im going to post like my top ten okay i prommy i listen to others #sashimimi #0.005 percent .... #also idk hiw beside you is a top somg i feel like i listened to other songs wayyyy more like do or not or #kitty kat or thot shit or a vocaloid song dhdkdjdk #the audio aura is sooo cute by rhe way omg

[zenims]

friedsashimi > zenims !

#help i broke my brain trying to think of something #wanted a short url hehe #sashimimi

[yutadori]

the loneliness of being an adult is so scary there’s the reality of your friends taking on jobs that take up almost half of their day and getting eaten up by exhaustion and stress and loneliness but them also pretending that it’s not getting to them and then there’s also the reality that some friends might move away temporarily or permanently and it sucks because you can’t really say much about it because it’s their life their success their happiness and there’s the possibility that you will become a ghost in their memories as their responsibilities and priorities build and build and it’s not like you can ask to be one because . well . people don’t have Time for friendships because apparently they don’t matter more than work or relationships or school or etc etc. and then you can’t really say much about them leaving because you donttttt want to feel pathetic in begging your loved ones to not leave and you don’t want to feel selfish in stopping their lives from continuing or to stop their dreams from taking life. but it sucks because it sort of feels like it’s inevitable / like there’s a scarily high chance of the connection between you and them dwindling to the point that they possibly forget about you . most likely . or maybe you’ll keep reaching out until the weight of your own responsibilities leave you so tired that you forget what time it is or what day it is

and there’s also the unfair belief of like . how romantic relationships >>>>>>>>>>>> friendships. for some reason friendships drop significantly in importance once someone finds a person to enter a romantic relationship with and that will always be so frustrating to me that’s so unfair. you can know someone for years and years longer, but there’s a high chance that a significant other will be more significant than you. people can go weeks without contacting you but as you lie alone in your bed at night you know that they contact their significant other daily. suddenly you dont mean anything anymore . im tired i hate being an adult and the inevitability of loneliness that accompanies it 

#AUGHHHH AUGHHHH AAAAA #friend is potentially moving temporarily in the future because of school and i spaced out while she was explaining it to me because #i just . i cannot process that right now i do not want to grieve for my future self if she really does leave #she says she'll test it out for a semes but what if she leaves and likes it there and stays for like... ever #it's within the state but this state is so fucking huge goddddd #and it's . its so gfdgsdfg because im ALREADY handling loneliness vvv badly and she's the one i see the most so im like . ah . #and it's like i CANT say much i cant tell her to not leave i feel like the most i can say is that ill miss her #but i cant stop her from leaving bc thats so unfair to her but aughhhhh #stupid state and its stupid size and bad transit system #yeah god and i just hate how romantic relationships are soooo highly prioritized #thinking about how the idea of getting married is so pushed #and how people are also pushed to like buy a house and have kids and then theres WORK and then taking care of kids #and all of that will be placed above friendships and i hate it i hate it sooooo baaaaddddd goddddddd #yeah . im emo and dramatic tonight u__u #sashimimi #also the last part is me being vvv uhhhh because a friend did that once... like she'd barely contact me but i know she had a thing #w her bf where she'd call him every night at the same time and i was just like ah ('': we're still friends and she's changed in that sense #but man it's so crappy to know that ppl will sometimes put way more effort into a romantic rs than in friendships no matter what you've #done or what youve been through or how long youve known each other . sucks ass girl

[yutadori]

my interview.... is tomorrow ... aaa

#i think ill be fine !! #just got home from getting clothes... #got a v cute shirt :3 #my friend alsp helped me prep with questions and i think ill be okay . hopefully !! #im just reminding myself that its a bakery + bubble tea place it should be fine not too much stressasss #sashimimi

[yutadori]

before the sptfy wrpped came out i saw people talking about their music taste being embarrassing and ive been thinking... why is what music you listen to embarrassing?? how is music embarrassing and what makes it embarrassing . its so weird and sad how it seems like ... so many things are labelled as embarrassing now. ive seen people call their interests, clothing styles, music taste, and favorite games embarrassing... why is that?? there isnt a 'superior' genre of music there isn't a type of music that you listen to that makes you embarrassing its just music!! and if it makes you happy or relaxed or if you feel understood by the lyrics of a certain song, then thats fine, thats not embarrassing at all

#its really sad to see so many posts of people being like 'my music taste is so embarrassing so cringe sorry' like...? when did music become #embarrassing !!! and i wonder if its bc ppl are being rude and tearing down other ppls interests . which is . so annoying.... truly #who gets off on feeling like theyre superior to others based on what music you listen to .... #and its like... why be embarrassed of music... i like to also think of like... #this artist worked really hard in writing / producing this song and just... making it come to life #and if the artist creates from personal experience then its like !! this person was very earnest and authentic in putting their heart into #their music and it can be very personal to them . which i think is nice and it feels . nice and brave of the artist to be courageous enough #to share that part of themselves with the world #and none of that is embarrassing.... its super nice #sashimimi

[yutadori]

🌸

#styled my hair with gel today and i reallyyyy liked it ^__^ #it didnt stay this way for long though unfortunately jdkdjd i need to figure out how to do that #sx #sashimimi

[yutadori]

ALSOOOOOO I RECEIVED A CALL BACK AND I GOT THE BAKERY POSITION❗❓❗❓

#insane cliterally so wild??? #I DIDNT EXPECT TO HEAR BACK FROM THEM I WAS SOOOO EMOOOO #they called me on monday and i was just like ??? no way???? #and i stopped by the other day w my friend and i got to talk with the other girl who interviewed me and im just so T__T #insane.... so wow.... #i cant believe im going to be working again after soooo long omgggg #it still hasnt fully settled in that ill be working aaaaaaa #sashimimi

[yutadori]

also... i want to sort of air this out once before (hopefully) not dwelling on it again 0: one of the main things at work that has been affecting me a lot is that... it doesn't feel like most of my coworkers like me u__u it ties in with my skills, which are . bad . im slow and clumsy and forgetful, which has affected my work a lot and i feel super bad T__T i try to do my best but sometimes that doesnt even feel like enough which . sucks. i think ive also been putting a lot of pressure on myself to improve as fast as possible, but i think thats just been adding to my anxiety. idk... it feels kinda sad ? to think about how my coworkers are probably fed up with me u__u

it also sucks because it's really different to my prev work place... i got along with a majority of my coworkers and i actually enjoyed being at work because of how fun our conversations were. i know that not every place is going to be the same, so i think i just have to make peace with that... and hopefully ill do better at work in 2022 and i wont get fired LOL

#hope... lots of it.... #sashimimi #going to try to put more work into improving myself 0:

[yutadori]

feeling emo over being an adult again and i just... really dislike the idea that you’re supposed to be independent and that if you ask for help you’re weak like . that’s so awful we shouldn’t be expected to do everything by ourselves like that’s legiterally impossible... and expecting people to do that is so unfair like i hate that doing everything on your own has been so glamorized... like during the middle of june i had to call my insurance + other medical places to schedule and ask for info about medical procedures i had to do and like... it was So Much and when i’ve asked my family for help with insurance info in the past, they either answer with ‘i don’t know’, ‘figure it out yourself’, or ‘youre an adult you’re supposed to know this...?’ like i’m literally only 23.... and it’s ridiculous that you’re expected to know how to do things on your own just because you’re an adult, when you’ve hardly been provided any guidance....? 

yeah so that was a really stressful time having to learn all these terms i barely understood and the costs and feeling frustrated that i was dealing with these health issues in the first place and it was just so overwhelming so i called my friend afterwards because i was just So Stressed about it and i was telling her how i’ve been dealing with insurance info and medical shid on my own for the past five years or so and that im tired !! of not having any guidance because honestly it’s soooo overwhelming and confusing and scary because then if i fuck up my family gets mad at me which Barely makes sense because . well . this is going to happen because i dont know anything about this . im literally like . barely an adult . and it was a really upsetting conversation because she proceeded to tell me that one of her friends has to schedule their own appointments too and learn things on their own and that ‘this is what being an adult is like’ and i just . it was the Last thing i needed to hear in that moment . it’s unfair why does being an adult mean being left to do things on your ownnnnn why is it that people judge you or give you a Look if you dont know how to do something wtfff

#and it really didnt help that after she said that she was like #'but you did it all by yourself!! youre an independent woman and you dont need anyone's help !!' #like i literally do . yes i do . it's a miracle that i was able to get through those insurance calls like i literally almost #cried because it was SO MUCH . and i hate that being an Independent Woman or whatever the hell got so glamorized too like no !! i dont #want that . wtf . #like .... its sad because i feel like she /completely/ missed the point of what i was saying like the point was that im tired of having to #do so many difficult things by myself without much guidance . like yeah i did end up doingit on my own but man at what cost #sashimimi #things are not so hot rn......... #hate being an adult it's the worstie who the hell glamorized this . who

[yutadori]

gege giving utahime a ribbon in her hair is one of the best decisions they've ever made thank you so much

#LIKE ITS SO SIMPLE BUT SHE LOOKS SOOOOOOO CUTE WITH ITTTTTT 😭😭😭😭😭 #sashimimi

[yutadori]

im finally watching cherry maho hehe :3

#LIKE A YEAR AFTER I SAID I WOULD ??? #maybe even longer than that actually djdkjddkd #also if anyone has any high ish quality sites to rec that would be greatly appreciated ^__^ #sashimimi #also... poor adachi being harassed about his dating life at work by a random coworker.... leave him aloneeeee sjksdnkddj

[yutadori]

i feel like im in middle school again with all the shoujo im watching / reading gfdsg first it was tonari no kaibatsu kun, then kono oto tomare, and now kimi ni todoke ^__^

#it's funny because i went from hospital playlist (kdrama) to kuroko no basuke (shounen) to the three i listed which are all shoujo... wuv #back at my roots #maybe ill rewatch some of shugo chara...? #sashimimi #i love how earnest the characters are in the recent series ive watched wah T___T

[yutadori]

thinking about trans megumi and im feeling emo

#or nonbinary megumi ... #aughhh that comic + h/alveablocks trans megumi comic hshsjssjksk #megumi feeling that doubt and discomfort and being unable to help like... those habits of looking at himself in the mirror and feeling #v unsatisfied ): #i love the idea of gojo like... showing that support but bc hes gojo hes still like . about it #HELP MY WORDS JSKSSNK #like hes still like jokey with megumi like its not a sudden shift to just serious gojo... yeah 0: #uoaghhhhhhhhhh #sashimimi

[yutadori]

uoagsjsjdidsnskssk work isnt bad it's definitely doable there are just some things i need to remember that might be a bit difficult because theyre kinda specific but ill eventually get the hang of it but like . ah i dont know i just dont like the work version of myself because thats where my insecurities come out and thrive like . im super ultra extremely apologetic to the point where i say im sorry without thinking like... the moment a coworker (kindly) points out a mistake, i immediately apologize and i didnt fully realize it until one of my coworkers reassured me by saying i didnt have to apologize and that it was just a small error u__u

i also just ... feel like i dont fit in, if thats the right way to phrase it. and not in the way where it feels like i cant talk to my coworkers, but i have this weird complex (?) where if i feel like im not at a decent level in terms of work skills, i feel like im not allowed to be like... super friendly with my coworkers? because i feel like im not on the same level as them in terms of skill / efficiency, then im not qualified to talk to them because i feel like im an eyesore or that im embarrassing or not worth their time. and it can be such an awful way of thinking because we shouldnt be measured and compared based on our skills but uoaghhh hdskxdksk

like on friday, my coworker (whos been helping me a lotttt for the three days ive been working) was talking with our other coworker a lot and i . felt so wrong at the thought of trying to join the convo by like idk asking them about what they were talking about because i feel . so much Lesser than them and i just !!! idk feel like i dont have a right ?? or i feel like theyre already shouldering such a burden by having to help me so much, that they wouldnt enjoy talking to me because of that . like . i feel like i have to get better so that the workload they take on because of me lessens, and then maybe they'll dislike me less auoghhhhhhhhh

#LITERALLY WHYYYY DO I THINK LIKE THISSSSSSSSSS #i just . felt So Alone on friday i felt insane i felt so dusksdjdjdhdjdd #and they sounded like they were having such a good time talking to each other and i was off to the #side because i didn't want to be in their way while i was tying and packing bread u___u #like i was thinking of joining the convo but it just felt so wrong like i wasnt allowed to #even though theyve both been so nice to me ??? like its not like /they/ made me feel unwelcomed its my super weird way of thinking... #uoaghhhh jzkxnxkzdhdkxddknd #sashimimi

[yutadori]

a little meow meow from the other night :3

#these are so funnt and made me laugh more than i should have siskssksjs #was sitting in my friend's car in a parking lot of a building beside my house and we saw two cats hehe :3 #sashimimi