#shay.writes ✏️

[sunaluvs]

《 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩? 》

↳ in which a breaking point was reached.

↳ ft. oikawa tooru.

tags: angst, couples fighting, a little fluff at the end + gn!reader || sfw.

wc: 1.06k

A/N: i rlly enjoyed writing this!! directly inspired by build me up buttercup - lara anderson cover (i listened to it on repeat while writing this so maybe listen to it while reading? might make the experience better nsbdndh). anyway !!! enjoy, and as always, feedback is vv much appreciated <33

the clock continues ticking as time passes by, the numbers reading 10:35 pm as you lay on your couch, eyes staring up at the ceiling.

your face feels cracked with the leftovers of your dried tears, and your throat is parched and sore from all the yelling you did. your fingers twitch, trying to move from the position it's been in for the last hour.

you feel your eyes water from the lack of blinking, but you can't bother with the energy of closing them. he wouldn't be here when you opened them anyway.

the silence of the apartment is loud, but it does nothing to muffle the shouts that rang through the apartment a few hours prior.

"you're never here, tooru! when was the last you had a proper fucking conversation with me? two weeks ago?!"

"listen to me, you knew when we graduated that this is exactly what would be happening! why are you complaining now?!"

"i can do a week, i can do 3 weeks; hell, i can even do a whole fucking month! as long as i, at least, know what you're doing! but you don't even tell me what time you're coming back! you don't answer my calls, and only give me one-worded answers when you actually have the decency to fucking talk to me."

"you know how busy i am! the Olympics are near, and everyone is giving it their all! why the hell shouldn't i do the same? why can't you understand that?"

"you know full fucking well that i've always fully supported you for every step of your career. i didn't say shit when you went to Argentina because i understood that it was what you had to do! because i love you! now we're in the same goddamn country but i don't even feel like im in a relationship anymore."

"then maybe it'd be better if you weren't."

the words echo in your mind, ringing through your ears as the same image replays over and over again in your head.

the anger that twisted your boyfriend’s features, and turned it into something that shot right through your soul. the cutting edge of his voice as he spat the words from his mouth like poison, his eyes glazed over in fury, before he turned around and left you, slamming the door of your apartment shut.

left you.

he left you.

the memory makes your breath start to pick up again. it makes your fingers shake and eyes start to tear up, your tear ducts somehow still able to shed more pain despite the hollowness in your chest.

the jingle of keys outside your door forces your heart to stop, your body freezing and breath catching in your throat as you listen to the tell-tale 'click' of the lock turning, the noise deafening in the silence of the apartment.

you force your eyes to stay on the ceiling, listening to the sounds of heavy feet shuffling and the door shutting closed before silence smothers the apartment once again.

you quickly squeeze them shut once you hear footsteps nearing you, the tears built up at the corners of your eyes trailing down your temple. you force yourself to take deep, steadying breaths once you hear the footfalls stop right beside your couch.

neither of you break the quiet, and you can't tell what tooru is doing or the state of his being. you try to ignore the pressuring presence of your boyfriend, and instead continue focusing on the steady in and out, in and out of your breathing.

suddenly, the pressure is gone as a 'thud' sounds, the noise startling you and making your eyes snap open and head twist to the side, looking for the source—

—only to find tooru on his knees next to you, face buried in his hands as muffled sobs and apologies spill like a river from his heart.

"'m sorry, baby. 'm so sorry, please forgive me, i swear i didn't mean anything, not a word of what i said please you have to believe me im sorry im sorry im so sorry—"

his breath catches but his tears don't stop, not once lifting his head from his hands as shame and agony consumes him from the inside out.

"—don't leave me, i promise i'll be better, i'll try so hard to be better for you, i promise, just please stay with me, i love you i love you i love you—"

your heart cracks open and shatters before you scramble up and throw yourself onto him. your arms wrap around him, squeezing with all the love you have within you. his hands latch onto your shirt, fists pulling you closer, while he buries his cries into your shoulder.

it could've been minutes. it could've been hours or days or decades. the world could have stopped and burned down, and the people could have completely disappeared.

a while later finds you both still on the ground, limbs intertwined with dried tears on both of your faces.

and it wouldn't have mattered to either of you, as you held the other close and broke down in each other's arms.

—

tooru's breathing is deep and heavy against the crook of your neck, trying to stabilize himself by inhaling your delicate scent, one that he's always associated with home.

the years he'd spent in Argentina were exhilarating, yes, and exciting and new, but it was never home for him. not when you weren't there. not when he didn't have you next to him.

you, with your steadying touch and lucid smile that never failed to kick-start his heartbeat all over again. you, with your honeyed voice and soft glances that always made his heart fill up and spill over with warmth and tenderness.

you, who's stayed by his side for the last 5 years and have always been there for him, even at times when he was blinded by his ambition and couldn't see anything around him.

so when tooru lifts his head and looks into your red-rimmed eyes, and sees nothing but love for him—always for him—his breath stutters, and his heart catches in his throat.

you give him a watery smile, one that speaks more than either of you could, holds more meaning more than any words could define, and he returns it, because he knows, and so do you.

you'll both be fine. you always are.

#haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader #haikyuu angst #oikawa angst #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu oneshot #oikawa toru angst #oikawa toru imagine #haikyuu imagines #inspired by build me up buttercup - lara anderson cover #shay.writes ✏️