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rhina988 · 7 years

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The Heart Wants What It Wants - Chapter 16

Read from the beginning

Chapter 15

Nicole’s POV

"Phone, iPad, keys..." I was rushing through Rachel's house trying to pick up all my stuff for work, and luckily, all my gadgets were always with me, so I didn't have to face Lucas before today.

I have spent a few days at Rachel's, doing my best to come up with the good story for everyone at work, and how to face my parents. Then it dawned on me that Lucas must have had his own scenario that he had told everyone, as to why he never got married. On top of it all, my parents were furious, disappointed and baffled by my behavior which I got to realize once I had called them to let them know I was back in LA. It's an understatement to say that they wished I was not really their daughter. I have made such a mess out of my life in just a couple of days, and it'll take forever to fix it.

"I'm leaving Rach, I got the keys so I'll see you tonight," I yelled and Rachel just answered with OK, being too busy with sorting out the attic.

A deep breath in and a calming one out. I can totally do it. I'm an adult, taking full responsibility for my reckless behavior and I need to act like it. All these random thoughts came to my mind while I was driving to work. How to act around Lucas? What to tell him? What would our first encounter even look like? Is Jared going to marry that Italian girl? Are they having twins? What should I have for breakfast? Ooh, coffee, I need to pull over.

Wow, slow down Nicole. One messed up situation at a time.

Stepping inside the company, I was faced with seriously awkward looks and I could have felt and even hear the gossip roaming around, the minute after they had said, "Hello" to me. I have never felt like I was under the spotlight, until now. The worst feeling ever. The eyes full of judgement, mockery, pity and of course those Did she really think she could lock Jared Leto down, looks. Horrible.

No matter how piercing the looks of other colleagues were, I had yet to face the most horrifying one. As I stepped outside the elevator and headed down to my office, the well familiar figure appeared in front of me. Lucas, coming out of the CEO's office and heading to his own. He didn't even see me, which was quite a relief. I had yet to prepare for what to tell him, without crumbling down or bursting into tears. But just as a wave of relief washed over me, Lucas suddenly turned around to go another direction, and that’s when I thought my heart was gonna escape from my chest.

The time had suddenly stopped, and those 5 seconds somehow felt like an eternity. He was shocked, I didn’t know what to say, and the amount of negative energy spreading through the hallway was ridiculous. If only I could have had those couple of minutes, I had planned to take before facing him, I could’ve think of something better to say, but instead I just stood there. Silent. Numb. With no words to utter. My lips moved, but I literally couldn’t speak. Lucas also seemed rather confused and at one moment, he probably wanted to say something but he kept silent as well. He just walked by me, lowered his head, while I whispered, “Hi...” which he probably failed to hear.

Watching him leave, felt so devastating, but I knew I deserved an even worse treatment than simple ignoring. I sighed, and turned away to walk into my office. I had barely closed the door, when tears started running down my face. At the moment, I didn’t even know why I was crying. I didn’t feel sad, but rather mad at myself. I guess all of this was too much, and the emotions were overwhelming me. Suddenly my phone rang. Jared. He’s tried to reach me for the past few days and I haven’t answered a single call, but now I needed to lash out on someone, so I picked up.

“Stop calling me! I never want to speak to you, or see you, ever again in my life! Just leave me alone! I curse the day we met! Leave me the fuck alone!”, I yelled and then hung up, throwing the phone on the sofa. I put the rest of my stuff on my desk, and sat in my chair to see myself in the mirror, and fix the mess I had probably made with crying.

The phone rang again, but I couldn’t care less about it. I decided not to answer, no matter who called me. My life needed to come back to normal, and talking to Jared would do just the opposite. Then my office phone rang, and it was Maya. I completely forgot to check in with her, and let her know I was back.

“Is that how you treat your best friend?” Maya asked obviously irritated.

“Hey... umm... I’m so sorry I forgot to call you. Things were such a mess, I...”

“Don’t give me that crap; we’ve been through thick and thin, and you don’t even notify me that all hell broke loose. I’m seriously disappointed,” she interrupted me and upset me even more.

“Look Maya, this isn’t about you, OK? My life is so screwed up now, and I’m sorry I forgot to make you one of the leading actresses in my own circus,” I was so pissed off I was afraid we might say things we didn’t really mean.

“That’s not what I meant. I just wish you would’ve remembered to include me in your life. I wanted to be there for you,” she tried to justify herself.

“Fine,” I said through a sigh, “Wanna have lunch today? I’m at work again, so we could meet around 1.”

“Absolutely. See you at our restaurant at 1. Love you.”

“Love you too, weirdo,” I said and chuckled.

I started to work, so I could distract myself as much as possible and it was working. Before I knew it, it was noon and when I looked at my phone, I saw a missed call and a message from Maya. She said that she had completely forgotten about an appointment that was scheduled at one, and that she won’t be able to have lunch, but if I was in the mood for dinner, that’d be great. I agreed and decided to go to Rachel’s for lunch. I called and told her I’d be dropping by and I’m bringing pasta. Our favorite.

Taking my purse and the blazer, I walked out of the office, hoping I won’t run into Lucas again. Luck was finally on my side, and there were very few people in the entire company that I ran into on my way out. I drove to pick up the food, and headed to Rachel’s place.

“Hey, the food is warm and hopefully as delicious as I remember it,” I said loudly as I walked inside the house, tossing the keys on a nearby table and turning my head to the left to see if Rachel was in the kitchen.

Instead, I was welcomed with the most unbelievable sight.

“Hi, beautiful,” the minute I had seen his face and heard that sultry voice, my knees went weak and I dropped the food, feeling as if my chest is about to explode.

Jared was standing in the middle of the kitchen, with the smile that could translate as I’m so happy to see you, and I hope you’ll give me a chance to explain myself. My head started spinning, my pulse raised and I felt a rush of anger emerging from inside me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked with despise, squinting my eyes at him.

“You weren’t returning my calls, and I needed to see you. Nicole I...”, Jared walked towards me, but I lifted my hand signaling him to stop.

“Don’t you get it? When a girl doesn’t answer your calls, she doesn’t want to hear you. Let alone see your jerk face,” I was dead serious, and cold, even though on the inside I wanted to explode.

“But you have to listen to me. I’m completely innocent,” he tried to make me listen to him, but I felt betrayed, and I only wanted him out of there.

“No, I don’t. I don’t have to do anything for you,” I turned away from him, intending to run away from the house, but Jared chased me and grabbed my upper arm to stop me from leaving.

“You’re not going anywhere,” in one swift move, Jared rotated me towards him, so our faces were an inch apart. I could feel his warm breath on my face, as his eyes darkened and all I could see in them was lust mixed with anger. We were both breathing rapidly, and that damn attraction worked like a magnet again.

My mind was so mixed up at the moment, I could barely think about anything. I haven’t felt those strong gorgeous hands on my body in a few days, and it felt like an eternity. My heart and my mind were at such a conflict that it almost made me insane. I didn’t want to let him explain anything, because I didn’t want to hear any more lies, or deceptions. He was a celebrity for Christ’s sake. Who was I to think someone like him would actually want to have something serious with a plain mortal as myself. But then again, if he didn’t care, why would he have come all the way to Rachel’s, and call me nonstop, and try so hard to justify his actions.

“Let go of me,” I barely managed to whisper inconvincibly, never breaking eye contact. My heart was pounding uncontrollably, knees trembling and all I wanted was to be as far away from Jared, because I could never trust myself around him.

“No,” Jared groaned dead serious, raising his eyebrows, which made me shiver a little. His eyes darkened and I was afraid he might become violent. Come to think of it, how well did I really know him? All we shared were hours of mind-blowing sex and a few days together where we didn’t have much of a chance to get to know each other better. He might as well have been a psychopath, or a maniac, or God only knows what.

“Jared... I...” without letting me finish the sentence, Jared brushed his lips over mine and ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer to him like he was afraid I’ll never be in his embrace again. He held me tight, close to his body and I could feel how much he needed me, right there and then. It wasn’t just lust. It was more than that.

Ripping myself out of his arms, I pushed him away and faced another side, placing my hands on my lips and closing my eyes for a moment. I missed his kiss so much. Even though my heart has brought me nothing but misery, I decided to listen to it once more, and give Jared a chance to tell what he wanted.

“Fine,” I said through a sigh, “I’ll let you tell me everything.”

“Thank you, baby,” Jared smiled and exhaled in relief, approaching me.

“But you’re leaving after that. No matter what you tell me, we’re over.” I said and his jaw dropped. He definitely didn’t expect me to react that way, but I needed to get away from him. “You deserve a chance to explain everything, but that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

Chapter 17

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