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itsmydreamlifethings · 4 years

Photo

Protective Henry after Female Reader gets injured!

Request: Henry with Injured reader plus Size Kink! Requested by @ssslesbian Thank you! Hope you like it! (PLUS ya’ll...I write a lot , so lengthy post ahead LOL)

Warnings: Mostly Fluff but also size kink and mild smut. Oh, and cursing. No reposts anywhere but reblogs here are fine. Disclaimer: I don't know anything about horses and I’ve never been riding (sadly). So any discrepancies with horses, please forgive me. Also, it’s my very first size kink writing so please go easy on me. Photo Cred: GQ

It’s obvious you Henry have had eyes only for one another, it’s just that you haven’t had the right moment to really make a move. He’s working hard on the set of The Witcher and you are one of the team members working on the scripts. On a day off from shooting you are both still on site. He is mostly working with horses and fight training, and you’ve agreed to help some of the props crew.

One of the crew members has been flirting with you since you got this gig. He asks you to see the horses with him, begging you to take a break. “Come on, Y/N. Let’s take a moment and go hang out at the stable.”

You look uncertain. You love animals but you never had any experience with horses. “I don’t know...we shouldn’t just go without permission...”

“Oh, stop. Live a little.” He gives you a wink and grabs you by the elbow, leading you over to the stable. As you reach it, you notice Henry. He is training in the paddock across the stable, breaking in one of the horses. He is very knowledgable and athletic, and you’ve seen him work with horses a lot recently. He is magnificent with them. Patient, soothing, and in charge. As you walk by the paddock, Henry notices you..and the guy. His eyes linger on you and by the way he casts a glance at the prop guy, you can already tell he is a bit bothered. You can’t help but smirk to yourself. If he’s jealous, he might have a real thing for you after all. Inside the stable Jonah, the crew member, leads you to one of the black stallions.

“He’s gorgeous,” you say, a gleam in your eyes. This close to the majestic animal, you get a sense of why people think horses are spiritual beings. With a long black mane, and glossy black frame, the horse in the stall seems to make a connection with you.

“Yeah, I’m gonna try to ride him later,” Jonah says, both hands on his hips.

“Oh, you have experience riding?” you wonder. You never saw him with any of the horses on set, but looks could be deceiving.

“Well, not much,” he chuckles and then elbows you playfully. “But I can try to sneak in a ride. Wanna join me?”

You laugh, “No way. I never went horseback riding.” You didn’t say it to be polite, but there was no way in hell you’d let Jonah be your trainer on such a huge animal. In fact, you wondered if he really did have any riding experience at all or if he’s trying to show off.

“Ok, what about some drinks then?” he adds, a sneaky smile on his face.

You really wished you didn’t get into this situation, but you have to be honest with him. He’d been trying to hit on you for months, and coming to the stable with him might have led him on. You are not interested in Jonah at all. Not only is he not your type, but you get butterflies for Henry these days and him only.

Speaking of the handsome devil, he appears at the far end of the stable, leading his horseback.

“Sorry, Jonah, I can’t.” You give him an apologetic look.

Jonah’s jaw twitches as he didn’t expect to be shut down. He looks down and his face reddens. Suddenly he kicks the ground, sending a stray driving nail across the stable and clanking against a stall. Startled, the horse you had pat a moment ago, rears and kicks, the loud clanking having sent a sense of alarm through him. The stall door rattles and his hoof scrapes against your left cheek as he rears.

You yelp in pain and fall back. You cradle your face in your hand, knowing that a nasty bruise and even cut may be forming on your cheek already.

“What the fuck was that?” Henry’s thundering voice explodes around you. You look up and see Henry shove Jonah aside, after giving him a threatening look. Rushing to your side, he grabs your face in his big hands.

“Y/N, you ok?” He examines your face as if the most important and valuable thing in the world may have been damaged.

“Yeah, I am okay, I think,” you whisper, although you can’t ignore the smear of blood coming off your fingers.

“You got to get this cleaned up,” Henry says.

“I can take her,” Jonah chimes in. Wrong move. Henry whips around and gives him a menacing stare.

“You’re not going anywhere near her...or the horses. You could have seriously injured her.” You can’t help but notice how tiny you look next to him, and as he grows angrier, his entire frame seems to grow even more.

Henry grabs your hand and leads you out of the stable and over to the medical trailer.

Once inside, it’s just the two of you. He orders you to sit on the bed, while he grabs the medical kit.

“What a fucking idiot,” he murmurs to himself.

“It was an accident,” you try to be rational.

“Because of his temper. A vein twitches in his neck as he comes over with rubbing alcohol, gauze, and a bandage. He stands directly over you and as you’re sitting there, looking up at him like a little kid, you realize how huge Henry is. Not only in height compares to your five foot three frame, but just how broad his shoulders are, how wide his chest stretches under his chest, and how his biceps bulge under his white long sleeve shirt. You wonder if also his...

Heat rushes to your cheeks and you blink fast, almost afraid he can read your thoughts.

“You ok?” he asks, brows furrowed. You nod and he begins disinfecting the cut on your face, You wince, the sting sharp and intense.

“I’m sorry,” he coos, his voice a low whisper. Then his hand drops to your chin and his fingers caress your jaw. He looks at you as if you’re about to scold his bold behavior, but in reality, you want more of his touch. He must sense that and see that in your lust-filled eyes and he brings both hands on your face, cupping it.

“Are you into Jonah?” he asks.

You snort. “You’re kidding right?” His face remains deadly serious. You shake your head. “No, I don’t like him. There is someone else I like instead.”

He smirks, a cute dimple forming on his cheek. You feel like dying, he is too beautiful to behold. Then he lowers himself and kisses you.

The kiss is slow and gentle at first, but soon you entangle your want and needs, letting your tongues explore one another. Before you know it, he is lowered onto the bed next to you and you are climbing on his lap.

Fuck, he is huge. He is like a bear and you are a defenseless little bunny trapped in his massive limbs. You giggle at the thought and he pulls back from kissing. He gives you a confused smile.

“Sorry, it’s just that you’re so big and I feel like...” you smirk and lower your eyes, feeling dumb.

“Like what?” he coaxes, his breath caressing your cheek.

“Like a little forest animal with a big prey.” The words leave your mouth and you’re sure you are a thousand shades of red. He’s going to think you’re an idiot and childish.

He laughs and pulls you close to him, his barrel of chest pressings against yours. “Hmm,” he murmurs, tugging your lower lip with his teeth before letting his tongue flick it. “I won’t eat you up...yet.”

Dear Lord, help me!

You begin an intense make-out session in the medical trailer and you hope no one will barge in on you. You can only imagine the gossip, but then again, Henry is so worth it. He cups his hands under your behind, gripping you tight and bringing your hips deeper onto his lap. That’s when you feel the hardened organ...no, that can’t possibly be...that cannot be his size...

Henry is HUGE! You moan and gasp, wondering if what you felt is real. You imagined him naked, and it, a million times, but never thought it would turn out to be true.

As he settles you deeper and deeper on his lap, you are already soaking wet. You can’t help but imagine Henry inside you and how it would feel stretching you and filling you.

The make-out session ends after a few intense minutes. Outside the trailer, the rest of the crew members and the medical team who had been at lunch starts conversing, hinting that they are coming back to the trailer.

Reluctantly, you separate, but not without a long, passionate kiss.

“Uhm...you may need to adjust that...” you point out to Henry, your eyes glancing at his groin. The bulge stretches on his lap, so thick that you know everyone is going to notice.

He laughs looking down. “Thanks for this! And I’ve been so kind to help you with medical attention,” he teases.

“Well, maybe later I can help with your not-so-little medical problem,” you say, grabbing his erection and stroking your hand against his pants lightly. “You know, just to repay the favor.”

#henry cavill #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x reader #smut #fluff #henry

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yourdailykitsch · 3 years

Note

No question, Just to say so sorry about your family member passing away. Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I know how that feels, my husband passed away July 6. Glad the gas leak got fixed. And, congrats on the new kitten.

Thank you all for the kind messages. Just a rule of thumb that all of us will go through some downs in our life and these past few months have been pretty rough. It’s been a tough year but I hope that the holidays bring some joy to all of you, even if they’re paired down or not the usual. Going to try to get back into the swing of things with Taylor updates. Though he’s very quiet lately as well.

Ask #2: Is Taylor single?

Not that I know of. He’s dated someone for a long time and though this year it’s hard to keep track of Taylor let alone his relationship, given their history, I have no reason to believe that they’re not still dating. If I learned something different I’d let you all know.

Ask #3: Did Jessica white & taylor kitsch date ? Or was it just a photoshoot?

Answer: I do not believe they’ve ever dated. I’ll quote my answer from another ask about this: “You know, I don’t really know where that rumor got started as far as them dating. I’ve been a Taylor fan since FNL started and I don’t really remember it ever even being a rumor that they dated. It just showed up on that “who dated who” site and was just stated as fact. I actually don’t think it’s true. I think it started based on that photo shoot they did together for GQ but there was never any evidence that they were a thing. No sightings, no mentions of them together, he never talked about her she never talked about him. The timeline doesn’t match up either. He was with Minka Kelly for much of 2006 into 2007 which is when he was supposedly dating Jessica.”

But they did make a gorgeous couple in this shoot

Ask #4: Hello. Is this still a good address to request an autograph from Taylor? Untitled Entertainment 350 S Beverly Dr?

Answer: You can try this address. I know I’ve given it in the past and is the address for his manager. He has a new management group that is representing him, his agent has moved to this agency and it’s Range Media. But they’re very new and I don’t know if they have any information out there yet about their location.

Ask #5: Is taylor working on anything? He seems not to work alot compared to alot of other actors,which is a shame. I know its covid now but he still doesnt work alot. Does he doing anything else other than act apart from his acc charity?

Answer: I do not believe he’s working on anything. I think that this year has created it’s own set of challenges. He has committed to a project which has been delayed due to COVID. Because it’s technically an independent film it’s running into some issues with starting production because of cost for the insurance that they will need to carry in order to film with COVID restrictions/protocols. It also doesn’t help that the state they’re supposed to film in (New Mexico) is one of the tougher states on restrictions.

As far as him not working more. We know he’s super picky about what he chooses to devote his time to and what he chooses to dive into because he does truly dive into these projects...it does seem like he’s really taken to photography and has spent a period during this year traveling to remote locations to photograph nature/animals.

Ask #6: It’s weird that there are no details as to why Taylor dropped out of Wash Me In The River. I would find it hard to believe that it’s got to do with pay. But if it’s scheduling conflicts I wonder what he’s shooting? Maybe Shadowplay Chapter 2? Or Inferno or something else? Just kinda strange that he has now also dropped out.

Answer: Easy answer would be scheduling conflict. He was signed on for literally two weeks before dropping out. So it wouldn’t shock me that we hear he’s doing something new or Inferno is going or he is in the second chapter of Shadowplay. ‘Wash Me in the River’ still hasn’t begun filming, so say it starts by early December and would take at least four weeks...maybe he has something coming up next month or early 2021 that he’s committed to. Maybe it’s something we know about, maybe it’s something completely different.

Ask #7: Do you think Taylor will be spending the holidays here or in Canada? Restrictions are still on but as a citizen he can enter

Answer: I really don’t know. My guess is he’ll stay in Texas because Canada has a 14 day quarantine requirement. So say he wants to go home for the holidays he’d have to leave two weeks prior to Christmas and quarantine those 14 days before he can be out and about and see family. If he’s following the rules...who knows if he has time to do something like that or if he’d want to travel if he does have work coming up that he needs to be healthy for.

Ask #8: I hate the fact that I found out about Taylor during covid. I wish I knew about him earlier in his career so I could keep up with him during the years.

Answer: Taylor has always been really super private, so even during his busy years the most we see of him is usually when he’s out promoting projects. We saw a glimpse into his life and more about him when he started using Instagram a few years ago but he’s really really slowed down with that, understandably. Hang in there, I think he’ll bounce back.

Ask #9: Was Neil with Taylor during the 21 bridges press tour? Since that was around the time he had his baby? Also do you think he’d be with him for when he films Wash Me in the River?

Answer: Taylor was solo, but did have his manager Stephanie with him for 21 Bridges press. Normally he’d have Neil with him or his friend Kevin as kind of his PA during press tours and just to hang out with. I don’t now if Neil will continue to be Taylor’s PA on set now that he has started a family. We’ll have to wait and see.

Ask #10: I feel like i always see the fandom say things like he needs to work more, he’s getting older, projects he does aren’t up to standard blah blah blah. But we do know that he does offered the bigger roles but he doesn’t enjoy those stories, and he def doesn’t like the press tour and the spotlight as much as the work itself. I think people fail to realize that he is carefully picking and choosing roles, and he could do a RomCom but chooses not to. He likes his privacy and people fail to understand.

Answer: I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of fans want him to be A-list and crazy popular and on magazine covers. That’s just not in his DNA. He has, without specifically naming projects, admitted to turning down some really big roles that were more mainstream. I think part of it might have been that he went this route in 2012, did some really big budget/mainstream tentpole projects and they failed by no fault of his own. He might still to this day shy away from something like that again. I think he’s completely comfortable with being a character actor.

Ask #11: Has Taylor ever lived with Jennifer? Even back when he was in the apartment or condo?

Answer: Yes, I do believe that they lived together in his condo at some point. She also sold his condo a few years back when he moved into his new house.

#taylor kitsch #ask me anything #Ask Me

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everlarkficexchange · 5 years

Text

The Price Of One's Soul

Written by: @peetaspikelets

Prompt 65: “You did all this for me?” Submitted by anonymous via @katnissdoesnotfollowback

Betaed by: @sponsormusings

Rating: M, for adult themes and coarse language.

A/N: This is the first part of my new story. There will be one or two more parts to come which will feature the prompt. It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything, especially Everlark and I’m so glad I decided to go for it. I’ve really missed these two beautiful souls.

This story was heavily inspired by Mockingjay and Brooklyn 99 because I have no idea what it’s like to work as a police detective.

Summary:

“I’m proud and relieved to say that due to the FBI’s efforts, and Mellark’s outstanding work, Operation Mockingjay was a success and last night the FBI arrested Snow and 16 of his associates with a number of charges longer than my arm.”

Everyone in the room applauds and shouts out in glee. It’s not the most professional reaction you would see in a police station, but knowing Snow has finally been arrested brings an enormous sense of relief to everybody who’s ever come across his brutal handiwork.

Katniss, however, remains silent, her mouth unable to form words. She feels overwhelmed by the news and what Peeta was a part of. Luckily, Finnick looks over and must be able to read her mind as he’s voicing the only questions she wants to be answered right now.

“Does that mean Peet’s back? It’s over? He’s back at the seven five?”

Katniss eyes Haymitch with a wide, hopeful expression. Beside her, she thinks she feels Gale tense up, but she’s too engrossed in what’s happening right now to linger on it. Finally, Haymitch meets her gaze and his lips curl into a small smile they don’t see very often. “The boy is back.”

Really? Are you sure about that Haymitch? *EVIL CACKLE*

Enjoy! Let me know what you think :)

CHAPTER 1

“Everdeen! Hawthorne! Where the hell have you been? The daily briefing started 10 minutes ago.”

“Sorry, Captain,” Katniss replies, dropping her backpack on the dirty floor of the briefing room and taking a seat at the front. “We thought we could get in some shooting practice before work. Instead, Gale spent most of his time flirting with Recruit Officer Undersee.”

“I was not,” Gale huffs, taking the empty chair beside her. “She didn’t know how to hold her gun properly, so I thought I’d be a nice guy and teach her how to grip it correctly.”

“Yeah right,” Katniss answers dryly. “With all the giggling I heard in her booth I bet that’s not the only thing you helped her with.”

“What, are you jealous Everdeen?” Gale asks, shifting in his chair to face her, his eyes glinting with smugness. “Because really you don’t need to be. I could always take you out the back and show you how to grip my –”

“That’s enough!” Captain Abernathy snaps, his voice booming off the rooms yellow stained walls. He looks around the group in annoyance. “It’s like I’m stuck here on a daily basis babysitting a bunch of kids.”

“Aww don’t say that, Dad. You know you love us,” Detective Finnick Odair chimes in from across the room. He starts swinging back on his chair and looks over to Katniss, giving her a cheeky wink.

Katniss rolls her eyes and shrugs her braid off her shoulder. She knows when Finnick gets in this type of mood there’s no point in trying to stop him from riling people up. Even someone as superior as the Captain doesn’t miss out on his juvenile antics. It can be annoying at times, but with the seriousness of the job, she’ll admit there are some days she’s grateful for his jovial character.

“Finnick, be quiet,” Annie hushes beside him.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Finnick reassures his girlfriend. “We all know deep down the Captain is like a big cuddly teddy bear. He pretends to act all gruff and indifferent when I know for a fact the other week he gave Effie from Human Resources a big –”

“If one more person speaks out of turn again, they’ll be on desk duty for a month,” Captain Abernathy snaps, interjecting into the conversation. A vein pulses in the middle of his wrinkled forehead for emphasis.

Sighing, Finnick falls silent and tilts his chair forward, so all legs are safely back on the ground. He stares at the front of the room with a pout like he’s a child who’s been scolded by his favorite teacher.

“Now children, eyes to the front, and let’s get back to discussing the Coin murder case.”

Everybody straightens in their chairs, giving him their full attention as he turns on a large television. Katniss stares as a number of photographs pop up on display, showing the latest crime scene the precinct is investigating. She hasn’t seen these before, so she leans forward in her seat to examine the images of the body.

After all her years of working as a police officer and then being promoted to detective, most crime scenes don’t faze her anymore. It’s like she’s been immunized to the absolute horror human beings can inflict upon one another and today, this case is no exception. The female victim got repeatedly shot with a crossbow. It isn’t a pretty sight, but her mind has the ability to compartmentalize.

After a few minutes, Katniss feels bored as she isn’t one of the lead detectives on the case. Instead, she turns her head to where Finnick and Annie are sitting across the aisle from her. Both are great detectives and good friends of hers. They’re also known as the precinct’s most nauseating couple. Katniss can count on multiple hands how many times she’s caught them at work in a compromising position. She’s had more views of Finnick’s bare arse than any other guy she’s dated. Not that there’s been many, as she’s too committed to the job and not a big socialiser. After a 12-hour shift investigating murders, assaults and robberies she never feels the need to get dressed up and go out. She much prefers going home to her small but comfortable apartment, sitting around in her pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate and watching Netflix.

She doesn’t have many friends. When she was a teenager, she lost her beloved sister Prim and her parents in a car bombing, and ever since then she’s had difficulties in learning how to trust and be vulnerable around people. Even now years later, the hurt is still raw, but she knows - thanks to years of therapy - that she can’t live as a hermit for the entirety of her life.

So, over time and working in close proximity with Gale, Finnick and Annie she’s slowly taken baby steps and allowed them to worm their way into her heart. Even if she wanted to run and hide, their tenacity and loyalty have made it impossible for her to leave. They have her back and she has theirs.

Even Captain Abernathy plays an important role in her life. When they were growing up, she and her sister used to call him Uncle Haymitch, as he was good friends with their parents. He was always a permanent fixture at family barbeques and any big social occasion. Like her, he didn’t handle the nature of their deaths well. Where she purposely isolated herself from the world and didn’t eat or speak to anyone for months, Haymitch turned to white liquor for comfort. In the end, it got so bad that he could barely function. Now years - and a few stints in rehab later - he’s proudly sober and continues slaying that demon daily.

There is another person in Katniss’ life. Certainly the most important person. But these days she tries not to think about him too much.

From the moment Detective Peeta Mellark started his first day at the 75th precinct in Panem, he made it impossible for anybody to hate him. When he first stepped out of the elevator with his carefully styled blond hair and shining blue eyes, it was like he’d just come from a GQ photo shoot. His friendliness and charisma soon followed and caught the attention of everybody immediately, especially the women. Katniss tried to hold it against him, as she was wary of people who had that kind of influence, but his detective skills were too damn good to ignore. In the first few weeks of his arrival he helped her bring down Seneca Crane, a cybercriminal mastermind she’d been hunting for 2 years. After that, they’d worked multiple cases together and he quickly rose from being her casual drinking buddy and trivia teammate to her best friend and confidante.

On their shared days off they would often have lunch together at his family’s bakery before Katniss took him to the local park to teach him how to use a bow and arrow. He wasn’t very good, but he was always keen to join her every week. He had a habit of trying to make her laugh in order to throw her off, but it never worked and the day always left a big smile on her face.

But while he may not have been good at archery, one of Peeta’s many talents was baking. A taste of one of his flaky cheese buns always had her moaning out in pleasure. It soon became a weekly ritual for him to bring in an assortment of baked goods for the whole squad to massacre.

Those were the good old days filled with wonderful memories.

And then things changed.

The day Peeta told her he had to go away for a case and he wasn’t sure when he would be back had come as a shock to her. He had become such a permanent fixture in her life that she felt a sudden rush of loss and sadness. The rational side of her understood and knew the job came first, but the whole situation sucked. After they finally managed to say their goodbyes, she watched him walk away with nothing but a box of his belongings in his hands. But before he got into his car he’d paused and turned around to face her. She swore she saw intense longing staring back at her, an emotion she’d never seen from him before, and it had caused her to freeze in place.

As weeks flew by, she continued being haunted by that moment and spent most of her days trying to decipher what it meant. But ultimately, cases piled up on her desk and she soon stopped replaying the moment, coming to the conclusion that it meant nothing.

“Now, O’Dair. Cresta,” Haymitch barks, pulling Katniss out of her thoughts. “How’s your investigation going on John Cato and Rebecca Clove?”

“We don’t have anything solid on them yet, Captain,” Annie answers with disappointment.

“It won’t be long though,” Finnick adds. “They may be cunning, but they’re also overly confident. It’s a bad combination. They’ll slip up eventually.”

Haymitch nods, satisfied. “Hopefully it’s sooner rather than later.”

“According to our informant, they’re supposed to be meeting with their supplier in a couple of weeks. This could finally be our opportunity to arrest all their sorry asses,” Finnick tells him.

“Good. Keep on them for the next couple of weeks. If you need back up call Everdeen and Hawthorne.”

“Aye, Aye, Captain,” Finnick says, giving him a mock salute.

Haymitch groans in annoyance and closes his eyes. His mouth starts moving slightly, giving Katniss the impression he’s trying to keep his anger in check by counting to 10.

“Hey, Everdeen,” Gale whispers.

Katniss looks over and notices his chair is too close to her own. His muscular thigh is now touching hers, and she can feel the heat radiating off him like he’s trying to burn a hole through her pants.

“You feel like getting some breakfast at Sae’s after we wrap up here? My treat,” he adds, his gaze penetrating.

She narrows her eyes and wonders what the hell is going on with him lately. She’s not sure why he’s basically sitting right up against her and she can’t crack the ardent look he’s now giving her. Over the last few months, she’s noticed the increase of social invitations from him, all of which seemed to be on the romantic side. Only last week he invited her out to dinner to the swanky Panem Bistro. Luckily she’d been sick with a cold, so it had been easy to get out of it. But it hadn’t prevented him from stopping by her apartment with a container of soup.

The shooting range they attended earlier this morning was his idea, but as it was work-related, she didn’t see any harm in saying yes. But now the whole situation was getting confusing - one moment it seemed he was asking her out on a date, and the next moment she’s witnessing him flirt with Recruit Officer Undersee. She doesn’t get men - or more specifically, she doesn’t get Gale Hawthorne.

“Now, before I dismiss you I have an announcement to make,” Haymitch says, turning off the screen. Both Katniss and Gale straighten up in their chairs, forgetting their conversation for a moment, taking note of their Captain’s serious tone. She swears there’s now a look of pride etched upon his face as he looks around the room. And she must not be the only one who notices the change, as all voices in the room cease, and look up at him with renewed interest.

“Now, what I am about to tell you we’ve never been able to discuss as the details were highly classified. But as you all know, 18 months ago Detective Mellark left us to be part of an undercover operation with the FBI.”

Katniss’ body freezes. The sound of his name hits her hard.

“What you didn’t know was that Detective Mellark agreed to infiltrate the Capitol Mafia.”

There are surprised gasps all around the room, the loudest coming from Katniss. She knew he was going undercover, but she had no idea who or what it was for. Obviously, he couldn’t tell her anything and she understood that. But the Capitol Mafia?! That was huge. They’re the worst of the worst. Their leader Cornelius Snow is a sadistic bastard, who runs a highly dangerous underground gang who engage in money laundering, murder, kidnapping, drugs, and bribery. He’s known as the most notorious criminal in Panem, and he was good at covering his tracks. Whenever the precinct investigated one of his crimes there was barely any evidence to link him and when a witness did come forward they were always found poisoned with Nightlock days before they could testify in court.

“It was called Operation Mockingjay,” Haymitch continues above the hushed whispers. “It was originally supposed to be a 6-month stint. However, there were…complications and Detective Mellark was forced to stay undercover longer than we would have liked.

Katniss grips the table, her knuckles turning white.

“Does that mean Peet’s back? It’s over? He’s back at the seven five?”

“Yes!” Finnick yells, jumping from his chair and fist bumping the air.

“When can we see him? Where is he?” Katniss bursts out, thankful her mouth is finally cooperating with her brain.

Haymitch pauses for a moment, a flash of hesitation in his eyes before he says. “You’ll find him in my office.”

Before Katniss knows what she’s doing, she’s leaping out of her chair and racing towards Haymitch’s office. She hears Finnick’s loud, hurried feet rushing up behind her.

When Katniss reaches her destination she’s confused for a moment, and wonders if in all the excitement and shock she’s accidentally run into the wrong office. She looks up at the name plaque on the door and knows immediately she’s in the right spot. But sitting on the opposite side of the Captain’s desk with his back to them is a man with broad shoulders and ink black hair. His whole body stiffens at their sudden intrusion before he slowly stands up and turns around to face them.

Katniss’ mouth drops open in shock. After Haymitch’s announcement, she was expecting to find her best friend with his signature grin waiting for her, before running over and wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. But to her utter disappointment, none of that happens. Instead, the person in front of her looks like a stranger. He has Peeta’s familiar blue eyes, but they’re now etched with harshness and shaded by dark circles. His cheekbones are also sharp and defined like he’s lost some weight and his overall demeanour is wary and guarded.

“You’re back?” Katniss says, her tone coming out more like a question than a statement.

Peeta takes her in silently for a moment. His eyes narrow in quiet contemplation as they travel down from head to toe, mapping her out, trying to become reacquainted. His shoulders relax slightly and he nods his head in acknowledgement. “Katniss.”

His voice is rough and deep like he’s been smoking a pack a day and he makes no other effort towards her. He’s just standing there, staring at her intently and it makes her feel lost.

“Wow, Peeta,” Finnick says, coming up to stand beside her, and taking in his friend’s new hair and dark leather attire. “You’re a brunette now.”

Peeta smirks and runs a hand through his hair, the action making it scruffier. “Yeah, well I thought if I’m going to join the dark side, I may as well put the effort in and go all out.”

Finnick chuckles nervously and leans against the door frame. It’s clear he’s not sure how to take this new Peeta Mellark as well.

“You didn’t join the dark side,” Katniss blurts out before her brain can catch up with her. She doesn’t like the way he’s talking. “You’re a police detective who went undercover to bring down one of the worst criminals in Panem’s history. What you did in the last year and a half was incredibly brave and the operation was a success because of you.”

Peeta looks over to her and shakes his head.

“Peeta, you’re a great detective –”

“Katniss, stop,” Peeta says, raising his hand suddenly, cutting her off. “I don’t want to talk about this now. So don’t go there.”

“It’s okay Peeta,” she continues, ignoring his wish and taking a tentative step towards him like she’s approaching a baby deer. “You’re home and you’re safe. It might take you awhile to forget about Snow, but –”

Peeta suddenly charges towards her, making Katniss freeze mid-sentence. He’s up in her face, looming down at her with a twisted and grotesque snarl. A rush of fear floods her insides.

“Forget, about Snow? Really, Katniss? You say it like it’s so damn easy, but you have no idea,” he spits out. She hears him take a few deep breaths, his eyes still piercing hers, before he transforms his face into a look of indifference. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I don’t want to forget? That I don’t want to forget Snow? That I don’t want to forget my time with him?”

His words scare her and suck the breath out of her lungs. His cold, unfamiliar glare awakens her need to run and lock herself in a cupboard like she used to do when she was younger. No matter what she ever said, the old Peeta would never have treated her like this. He’s not her Peeta anymore. She can’t even see a glimpse of the old him. He’s acting like their friendship never existed.

The atmosphere in the room is left cold and uneasy as Peeta takes a few steps back and looks down at the floor. He rubs a hand roughly across his forehead multiple times like he’s in pain or agitated.

“So, ummm…you’re back for good then?” Finnick asks carefully in the soundless space, hoping to break the discomfort.

“For now,” Peeta replies simply, not caring to extend his answer as he leans back against Haymitch’s desk. “So, enough about me. What have I missed around here?”

“Nothing much,” Finnick shrugs. “We got a new vending machine in the break room and the department finally updated our surveillance equipment. I wanted to take the new body cams home to try on Annie, but she wouldn’t let me.”

The corners of Peeta’s mouth curl up. “I’m glad to hear you’re still together. I would have thought by now you’d have fucked things up.”

A look of hurt flashes across Finnick’s face before he puts his signature smile back on. “Nah, man. Annie’s my reason for living. She’s my everything.”

Peeta’s eyes soften slightly at the sentiment and he nods his head. He briefly looks over to Katniss, but before she can meet his eyes, he’s turning back around and giving his attention to the new face standing at the door.

“Hey, Mellark. Good to see you, man,” the familiar voice of Gale rings out as he saunters into the office and stands beside Katniss.

“Gale. Nice to see you,” Peeta replies curtly, his eyes narrowing at his old colleague.

Although back in the day the two never fought and worked well together when they had to, there always seemed to be an underlying tension between them which Katniss never understood. She found it difficult sometimes as they were both her friends, yet if she wanted to hang out with them, she usually had to do it separately.

“I like the look you’ve got going on at the moment. It suits you.”

Katniss and Finnick turn and give each other perplexed looks.

“Thanks,” Peeta answers tightly, his jaw tense and eyes cold.

“Yeah, so you’ll notice some changes around here,” Gale continues, swinging his arm around Katniss’ shoulders, and bringing her in closer to his body.

She grows rigid on the spot, too surprised by the public display of affection to push him away.

“We moved some people around in the bullpen after you left on your…mafia holiday. Katniss is now at your desk next to me, but there’s an empty one near the kitchen you can have –”

“No!” Katniss cuts in and wriggles herself free of Gale’s grasp. “Peeta can have his desk back. It’s fine. I’ll take the spare one.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Peeta replies back gruffly. “I’ve already spoken to the Captain and I’ll be moving a desk down to the records room.”

“The creepy basement where no one ever goes?” Finnick asks surprised.

“Yeah, it’s perfect. Besides, open spaces don’t agree with me anymore.”

As he says this Katniss looks down and notices his left hand is shaking like it’s in spasm.

That’s new.

She watches the action sadly, feeling a sudden rush of warmth towards him, which is unexpected after their disastrous reunion. It’s a vulnerable moment (which the others choose to ignore) and it reminds her of the old Peeta. Yes, their first meeting has gone horribly, but once he gets back into his old routine he will remember who he is again and will be back to the Peeta Mellark they all know and love.

She’s pulled out of her reverie by Peeta who’s picking up a ratty box from the floor. She’s curious to know what’s inside, but he quickly balances the weight against his muscular chest before she can sneak a peek. As he heads towards the door, he stops calmly in front of Katniss and Gale.

“So, I’m assuming you two are together now,” he states evenly, his expression giving nothing away.

Katniss’ eyes widen at his assumption but before she can correct him, he’s already walking past them and calling out unkindly over his shoulder. “Sending you my condolences.”

The words sting and Katniss feels tears start to well in her eyes.

They watch him walk down the stairs to the basement, without even a backwards glance. Finnick turns to her in disbelief, while Gale mutters out, “I always knew he was an asshole,” before stomping out of the office.

Katniss wants to run after both of them. She wants to yell at Gale to find out what’s going on with him. And she wants to shake Peeta so hard that he comes back to himself, but her body won’t move. Instead, she feels exhaustion set in and it keeps her rooted to the spot.

“It will be alright, Kat,” Finnick tells her kindly, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “We all know you and Gale aren’t a couple and never will be. And even if it was true it’s none of Peeta’s business anyway. What he said was really uncalled for.”

Katniss nods her head, refusing to show any emotion. Instead, she says, “Thanks Finnick,” and heads towards the bullpen in a daze.

“He’ll come around,” he calls out behind her. “Just give him some time.”

Quietly, she sits down at her desk, ignoring the worried looks being sent her way and opens her top drawer, pulling out a handful of colored photographs. For years the squad used to display pictures of themselves all around the precinct. Some were from Christmas parties, training days, or simply goofing around with each other in between cases. When Peeta went undercover, Haymitch made her take down all the photos that featured him, in order to protect his cover. And they’ve laid in her drawer safe and sound ever since.

She stares sadly at the bundle in front of her, each colored memory seeming like a lifetime ago. In every photo, Peeta is either making a funny face or staring at the camera with an easy-going smile. She wonders when she’ll see it again and then a painful thought occurs to her.

What if they’re wrong? What if he never comes around?

A single tear falls quietly down her cheek. What if Peeta Mellark is lost to her forever?

#Springtime Edition 2019 #submission #peetaspikelets #prompt 65

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Death metal starts at 2:43 p.m. It's strong. And it comes from inside the church. The noise is a proud and unmanageable fury, like a pricey bull dragged to the slaughterhouse by its copper nose ring. The idyllic calm of the countryside in the south of France, the gentle friction of the cicadas and the warm breeze that sweeps over the Mediterranean is torn along the spine by lamentations, demonic voices and distortion of the pedals. Everyone outside, some drinking small glasses of Marseille pastis in the heat of the 37 ° C, turn to look at the church door and then towards each other.Despite the break, the broken peace, it is a positive sign for those who want an audience with our host. The man would have slept inside the small walk-in chapel - his original denominational space transformed into a cupboard, his cloister now used as an artist's studio with large unfinished canvases leaning against the perimeter - must surely be awake. No one could sleep through what sounds like Satan's alarm bells.Two weeks ago, there was an invitation, confirmed late yesterday, to come to Johnny Depp's villa and speak openly and without reservations. If you get up at 5 a.m. in north London, take the first British Airways flight to Heathrow around 7:45 a.m. and take an hour east taxi along the burnt yellow coast after Cannes , in front of Fréjus and not quite towards Saint-Tropez, you will find yourself in the rural town of Hameau De Gassin, lined with rows of young short vines, forming tracks like natural tresses, their bruising fruits begin all just to inflate and sag with new weight.The Depp complex, made up of around seven or eight small stone houses, stands above this calm and unprecedented old town, with a view that extends over the undulating Ligurian Sea. On a clear day, you can walk to one of the area's many high rocky outcrops, squint, and see the island of Corsica and beyond, the waters rich in fables and myths, where scholars believe that the Ulysses of Homer ordered his crew to attach him to his own mast to hear for himself the song of the sirens.Squint louder and you could see the west coast of Italy sparkle, with Pisa, Genoa and, beyond, the beauty and corruption of Florence. Earlier, I arrived at the gates of the complex, passing by director Tim Burton and his family, who had gone on a boat trip with various children, kissed by the sun and smiling. Burton has stayed with Depp for the past few weeks, enjoying the private baked utopia.After being buzzed, a golf cart driven by a native by the name of Daniele takes me to the main complex of buildings. Daniele - a man in his late sixties with an impressive whipped cream mustache and a long ivory ponytail who, it should be noted, looks surprisingly like Asterix by René Goscinny and the famous French comics by Albert Uderzo - the man from whom Depp bought the original 19th century land and houses 20 years ago. It was bought by Depp and Vanessa Paradis, his partner at the time, as a sanctuary, a place to escape with the children, to play freely away from the beams of Los Angeles and Paris.When the estate was listed on the market in 2015 for $ 63 million - a wake-up call to the actor 's financial troubles - many reports described the property as a "village complex." As our tires make their way down the wide gravel path to the collection of stone buildings, it's easy to see why.There is a modest main house with patinated blue shutters, almost entirely covered with wavy and bright green foliage. There is a hidden pool, a gazebo, a stone deck with a wooden shade and a clutter of about four or five bedrooms and bathrooms. The sloping, almost flat roof is terracotta, while on the lower side a heavy wooden door leads to a wine cave, now transformed into a cozy one - if you find the crypts comfortable. The space is dotted with candle drops and cowhide throws.From there we turn right, pulling inside what looks like the main courtyard of the estate, or the village square, a place where the road widens and reaches a natural meeting point, a plot of gravel with a small tree in its center. In front of us, 30 feet away, is the silent church with its locked door, while to our left is what appears to be a quintessential French cafe, a building that was originally intended for to be a garage. The brown fabric blind of the café has a name in an Art Nouveau style, "Chez Marceline", which refers to Marceline Lenoir, Paradise's long-time agent.At a polished wooden table in front of the cafe, two men are sitting sipping Evian. Their names are John Evans and Daniel Rolle and they are waiting for us. The looks of Evans and Rolle are Mayfair's hedge of the road one on an external site: crisp pale blue shirts (tucked in), narrow but not too thin indigo jeans, a woven belt at the hips and a Rolex vintage on the wrist. It's clean, tasteful and quietly refined, rather than something ostentatious or flashy.Evans and Rolle have been the benchmarks for logistics today. They work for a London company called Hawthorn, a public relations firm that, among other things, specializes in crisis management for businesses and wealthy individuals.One of Hawthorn's partner companies in the United States consulted on the sale of The Weinstein Company, but it should be noted that Evans himself advised against such a move, despite the "ridiculous fees" offered. Companies like Hawthorn don't do minor skirmishes or call editors to get corrections in the entertainment pages; it is a business that calls exceptionally wealthy customers if there is no one else to call. They are the Harvey Keitels of this world: wolf men, repairers, specialists in adjusting the public image, polymath corporate strategists.Ben Elliot, nephew of the Duchess of Cornwall, is co-founder and partner of Hawthorn. He also created Quintessential, the concierge service for the wealthy elite - consider heli-skiing off Everest's Hillary Step or a suite with balcony overlooking the Monaco Grand Prix. It was Elliot who made the first contact to ask if GQ would be interested in meeting and talking to Depp.Although Depp was someone who had long pointed out his contempt for the media - someone who chased paparazzi with a wooden board in front of a London restaurant to photograph his children - we were informed that he wanted to speak.It's about two months after the publication of a widely read article Rolling stone interview, entitled "The problem with Johnny Depp". It's an article Depp will talk about later, tackling it as he does on most subjects, with a kind of vengeful nonchalance. He is a man, I will come to understand, who will be happy to spill his guts all over the table, while remaining casual about the causes and effects. This "freshness", we suspect, is his armor. The actor refers to the Rolling stone article as "a sham". In fact, it goes much further. "I was deceived. The guy [journalist Stephen Rodrick] entered with absolutely an intention. And I could see it and I thought maybe I could help him understand, you know?"I trusted Jann Wenner[co-founderandeditorof[cofounderandpublisherof[cofondateuretéditeurde[cofounderandpublisherofRolling stone], as I knew him from Hunter [S Thompson, the late writer and a mentor of Depp]. I trusted what the magazine represented or what it represented. I wanted Jann to see if he could write, if a song could be written ... to put things in perspective. That's it, just to put things in perspective. "Perspective can be a treacherous thing. He can be deceived. It can be manipulated. Perspective, after all, is inherently subjective. Yet Depp was right to be belligerent. Anyone who didn't know better would have read this Rolling stone profile - with a digital silo of clippings and bait that has been piling up regularly on the star's life in recent times, her financial troubles, her savage and hostile divorce from American actor Amber Heard, accusations of domestic violence that in a libel case in the UK, and this videotape - and walk away with a pretty dark photo of the 55-year-old man.The article said that Depp was on the verge of bankruptcy: having made $ 650 million on films that made about $ 3.6 billion, but "almost everything is gone". Just a few weeks ago, Depp was suing his longtime business partner, Joel Mandel, and Mandel's brother, Robert (and their company, The Management Group [TMG]) for negligence, breach of fiduciary duty, fraud, forgery and theft.The lawsuit claimed that as a tax filer, TMG failed to pay Depp's taxes on time for the 16 years of its representation, which cost Depp more than $ 8.3 million in penalties. Depp's trial also highlighted TMG's conflicts of interest, their alleged wrongful investment of the star's money in companies with which they had a relationship, and the fact that they allowed Depp's immediate family members to spend his fortune without authorization or knowledge. TMG filed a counterclaim against Depp for breach of contract and fraud, claiming that the actor was responsible for any financial crisis he was in. Last summer, the Wall Street newspaper and others have said that former Depp business leaders are under investigation by the US IRS, the Department of Justice, and the Securities and Exchange Commission for bank fraud and money laundering.By the time I reach Depp in his French villa, the dispute has settled and later this month, in August, he will win the first step in a separate case against his longtime lawyer Jake Bloom, more than $ 30 million paid to the former Depp. Bloom Hergott lawyers by former business leaders without any contract. The latter seems to be a kind of justification for Depp. "Hollywood rocked," reported an industry headline.Sitting with hawthorn leaders at Chez Marceline, waiting for Depp to emerge from his picturesque and non-denominational hideout, there are also emerging stories about Heard and the acrimonious separation of the couple. Heard filed for divorce in May 2016, just 15 months after the couple's marriage in February 2015. Heard court records cited "irreconcilable differences", with a temporary restraining order granted to Depp, whom Heard accused of violence domesticated. A widely circulated leaked video purported to show Depp "tossing a glass of wine" to Heard and the 32-year-old lawyers had previously claimed that Depp had "violently attacked" her. Heard herself was arrested for domestic violence against a previous partner in 2009. Heard denied the charge and no charges were laid.The statements then range from disturbing to downright bizarre. Although the couple's divorce settlement was reached in August 2016 - with Depp paying $ 7 million and the restraining order lifted - even this morning, on my way to the Depp complex, history la The strangest thing to date has emerged from their volatile relationship, that Heard is said to have defecated in the star's bed after a particularly unpleasant argument in April 2016. Heard released a statement last night saying the incident was far from dirty protested on his part, but instead attributed the deposit to his dog, a 4 lb Yorkie teacup called Boo, who suffers from intestinal problems.When I hear the satanic noise gushing from the church of Depp in France, that makes me wonder: who, or what, will I meet today, at his home, inside his sanctuary? An actor paralyzed by fame, money and excess? A relic of an old system of Hollywood stars that is broken and shamefully aging? Someone who just doesn't fit into the brave new era, a time when scandal and stories can no longer be hidden or buried under an avalanche of imposed NOA?"Are we going to sit in the sun, talk, get heatstroke, throw up and die?" May be later'Or is Johnny Depp just a man who has been wronged and has a genuine desire to protect his name and his past work so that he can begin to recover from what was a period of his life that he would no longer forget early? Does he seek revenge on an industry - and of certain individuals - which, according to him, profited from his naivety? Is he a man who still believes in trying to be the underdog, an artist who desperately wants to be free from responsibility, something that could be confused with isolation and eccentricity but who is in fact something closer to a belief in the romantic rebellion?"It's time. He's ready."As I head for the church where the demonic wall of noise has finally been silenced, I realize, perhaps for the first time, that I have no idea who or what will appear. , flashing in warm white light. It is like getting into the eye of everything that revolves around this man and his amazing life. As the church door opens and I hear a cough, I wonder: where does the myth of Johnny Depp end and where does the truth of who Johnny Depp really begin?"Are you a John or a Jonathan?""I'm Jonathan," I say. "You must be Johnny.""Johnny, John ... I'm a John. Is it Jon-a-than or Jon-a-thon? I'm John Christopher Depp II. I have a number after my name that makes me noisy ... I don't know, bigger than I should be. "Immediately there is that smile, the one that oscillates between charm and mischief, heroic and mean. His eyes will remain behind a huge pair of reflective aviator hues for the next four hours. "Shall we sit in the sun, talk, get heatstroke, throw up and die?" Pause. And then the head comes back immediately with laughter. "May be later.Come on, Jonathan, there's a really cool little corner I want to show you ... " Depp emerged from his sleep looking if not healthy, then certainly healthier than I thought. Friends I have spoken to about my mission have expressed concerns about Depp's mental and physical state - most with little or no actual factual knowledge, it must be said - many referring to a recently taken image of the star during a tour in Europe with his group, Hollywood Vampires.The photograph, taken by a fan, showed Depp lean, pale and needing a little sleep - or at least a big green juice and once around the block on a SoulCycle. Not only that, but, perhaps more disturbingly, her usual battered fedora had been replaced with a baseball cap, a baseball cap with the word "fugly" on it. Johnny Depp? In a baseball cap?Today, however, Depp's skin is clear and without bloating or puffiness. It should be added, however, that his clothes are less intact. He is wearing a baseball cap and his shirt in particular seems to have had his arms removed, as if he once belonged to Bruce Banner, an anger management course before anger. In fact, the shirt is unlike anything I've ever seen before: partly a dress shirt, but with a mandarin collar, but no sleeves. On his shirt is a blue vest with fine stripes and around his neck are various chains, trinkets and talismans.At the end of a necklace is a silver "gonzo fist", the icon characterized by two thumbs and four fingers holding a peyote button originally used in the 1970's Hunter S Thompson campaign for the county sheriff. from Pitkin, Colorado. Thanks to Thompson's prolific life and writing style, the fist has become a symbol of gonzo journalism as a whole. For Depp, it's both a memory of his late friend, someone he once lived with in a basement at Owl Farm, Thompson's base camp in Aspen, Colorado, and a reminder of the way of working and living, with a strong sense of the individual and detached from business or tax systems. As Depp says so often, "Beat the system from the inside out."The jeans are loose and a patchwork of blues, holes that have been repaired and sewn countless times. The history of wearing Depp's pants has always been, to say the least, uneven, always as if he had just broken up with a werewolf. He was taking a child to a birthday party in Los Angeles when he realized that his jeans had a hole the size of a hubcap on the back. Rather than change, which would have made sense, he grabbed a roll of silver ribbon and shaped his own load.Depp's belt is something else. It is in worn brown leather, but the buckle is attached to the side rather than the front. This is unusual, I note, as we head to a huge stone table where we will sit and talk in the shade for the afternoon. "This? Well, it's not a Texas belt buckle. You know what the Texas belt buckle is?" I have to admit, no. "Well, a Texas belt buckle is where you have to pull your scrotum over the top of your jeans without undoing them. All along and again. Oh, the horror of it all ... You have to bring your dick back and stick it ... Your dick has to go around the elbow in a sort of half fruit basket and then, well, then you're fucked. You pull your testicles over and let them sit there. It's a Texas belt buckle. Then, of course, there is a Dirty Sanchez, which is something else entirely. "Dirty Sanchez", in which I managed to sneak Pirates... "For those who don't know what a Dirty Sanchez could be, all you need to know is that it's a term that originated in the LA porn industry spitter, something that could be occur when certain projecting members are stuck in certain holes, then in certain other holes. I'll give free rein to your imagination, but let's just say it's unfathomable and a term for an obscene sexual act that could not be less appropriate to be included in a 300 million dollar Disney movie about a pirate, himself family-based ride in a theme park in Florida."Yes I [said] in Pirates and they never caught him when he went to the movies, "chuckles Depp as he sits across from one another. "They caught him when he went on DVD. I did it because I wanted to see who Disney would be to find it ... "As for why Depp wanted to know who would be the person who reported such a thing, it is not clear, even if the fact that he is still proud to have included the obscene term in this first blockbuster - although as a mumbled, almost incoherent entry - and the eyeballs (and ears) of past companies are not negligible.It serves to illustrate what has been and is still, at the moral heart of Depp, a conflict that bubbles and foams under the surface of the actor: the fight to be faithful to his artistic sensitivity while being a voluntary participant and a billion dollar figurehead - free of dollars. This is the age-old problem faced by many successful creators, that of art versus trade.Jack Sparrow was for Johnny Depp what Iron Man would eventually become for Robert Downey Jr: a world hit which made the actor rotate - or at least his image - that of a somewhat gruff young indie who had already illustrated the disgust of being a teenage pin-up (via 21 Jump Street), wore oversized vintage leather jackets and smoked Marlboro Reds while passing wild fashion cats like Kate Moss, to a global megastar with its own line of merchandise, including a 10-inch tall pirate figure with removable cutlery and leather slippers.It was the time when the man who played Ed Wood became Mickey Mouse, although Mickey Mouse had a penchant for a bottle of Château Calon Ségur (2014). "I was freaked out by that," he admits when he realizes where the game is going to take him, rather than the music, which had always been his main creative outlet. "I mean, at first I really didn't care. But I started to enjoy it. I liked creating these characters up there, being in the trenches and facing collaborators, actors, directors ... The problem with working with these big studios is that they may feel uncomfortable with some of the creative decisions you make. Pirates. I think if the studio is not worried, I am not doing my job properly. "Did Disney try to change its Pirates performance? "Disney hated me. [They were] thinking of all the means to get rid of me, to fire me. "Oh, we're going to have to caption it." "We don't understand Captain Jack Sparrow. What's wrong with him?" "What's wrong with his arms?" "Is he drunk?" "Is he mentally stunned? "" Is he gay? ""I ask Depp directly: did Disney ask if Jack Sparrow was being played as overtly gay in Pirates? “They asked me, 'Is he gay? And I answered the question over the phone. It was a lady named Disney's Nina Jacobson at the time [Jacobson is herself gay, it should be noted, and has long campaigned for greater diversity within the all-male club of old Hollywood boardrooms] and she asked me a few questions, then said, "What is it, Johnny? Is he gay? "My tendency, of course, is to be irreverent so I said," Nina, didn't you know that all of my characters are gay? "It was a fairly brutal end to the conversation. And I continued to shape Jack as I thought best."Was Depp mad at Disney for his lack of vision? His lack of confidence? "No. I told them," Look, you don't like what I'm doing, fire me. You hired me to do some work and play the character and that's what I want to do. "C "is work. I mean, hadn't they seen the work I had done before? You might want to take a look at it before hiring a motherfucker, you know?"Did he feel justified once it was clear that his treatment for Jack was going to work, when the audience fell in love with him? “I knew I was right. Even the very first time when they came back to me and said, "No, no, what is it? Even when the other actors looked at me like I was an absolute threat, I stayed with it. I mean, the older actors probably thought, "Jesus Christ, he sank." Because I would tear up the script on set. I would be a thug. I would fly a little to see where things happened. And not everyone appreciates this way of working. Oliver Stone didn't like it when I changed all the lines he wrote for me in Section and that's probably why most of my stuff ended up on the cutting room floor. "Depp and I sit under what can only be described as a tent or canopy of green vines. We are approximately 150 meters from the main house. Inside the tent is a huge table and monolithic stone benches that look like something from the Paleolithic age, marked and grooved with years of wear and deterioration. Depp bought it when they acquired the house. "I made a film with Roman Polanski[[[[The ninth door]in Paris with Vanessa. We had to stay two months and we ended up staying ten years. " While we are talking, Depp keeps his cap and sunglasses. From time to time, he seems a little asleep, stifling a yawn, although after a while he falls asleep and is engaging, consistent and certain. He twists and moves rarely, perhaps folding his legs sideways or sitting cross-legged like some kind of skater / war veterinarian / yogi. Otherwise, it is entirely stationary. He takes care of his answers, expressing himself at a regular rate, without fear of being patient and waiting for the right word to come from his conscience and escape into the ether.A man, perhaps a cleaning lady, brings us refreshments in one of these light blue plastic laundry baskets: sweet tea, green bottle, Coca-Cola, water. No alcohol. Later, I ask Depp if he thinks he has a problem with alcohol: "Do I like a drink?" Yes. Do I need a drink? No. "The only visible defect is the rolling tobacco that he smokes in the licorice papers; he will roll up one every 20 minutes or so and often will not light it immediately. He lets it hang from his mouth, the paper sticking to his lower lip as he talks and answers questions. He has all the warnings on tobacco, all the pictures of blackened lungs, scribbled by an assistant. His fingers are cluttered with rings and his arms are full of black ink.The tattoos have been much discussed: the "Wino Forever" on the upper right bicep being perhaps the most infamous, a modification of what was originally "Winona Forever", which Depp got when he came out with Winona Ryder, the pair who worked together on Tim Burton Edward Scissorhands in 1990. A more recent tattoo said "Slim" in a Gothic font, a letter on each of the proximal phalanges (the bones of the fingers closest to the palm of the hand). Slim was the name Depp called his ex-wife Amber Heard. After the divorce, he changed it to "Scum" and more recently to "Scam"."The truth will come out of this and I will be on the other side of the roaring rapids. I hope other people will too. "There is something in the torments of recent years that, intentionally or not, shakes the surface of such thorny subjects - its breakdown, its reputation, its financial problems. Quite simply, they are in the air. I can feel it. Depp can feel it. And without even being pushed, the subjects fall on the table and ask to be chosen.Depp, it can be said, feels that he has suffered, sometimes resembling an injured animal that has healed and is now ready to bite. He is also, although he can deny it, angry - angry at many things - and he is vengeful and absolutely, categorically certain of his position and his position.“The last three or four years have been felt like a perverse situation that has been inflicted on me. It hurts. "How did the actor take the claims of his long-term managers eviscerating his trust, their relationship, this way?"It is rude to talk about money but, I mean, when I discovered the Pirates 5 the movie had just ended, just before the business owner started saying, "Oh, you have to sell the house in France! Oh my God! Shit hits the fan!" Now my entrance fees - I I'm even embarrassed to say it - for Pirates 5 35 million pounds sterling alone. And then I went on honeymoon after this film and while I was on honeymoon, it was when I got the call from the guy and I said to myself: "What? I don't understand? How is it possible? ""TMG claimed that they had done what they could to manage Depp's finances responsibly and repeatedly warned him that he was spending too much, but he had a different perspective. “My belief was that I didn't need to get wrapped up in the notion of money, how much I made, how much there was. I just knew that I was earning enough money in salary and back-end for everything to go well. Nothing should have gone so sideways. And when I found out, that was when the war started. C'était sous tous les angles. Le juge, vous savez, les a appelés sur toutes les petites allégations personnelles et a dit que vous essayez de décapiter cet homme dans un forum public. Ce n'est pas ce que vous faites. "Depp a une théorie, cependant, sur une conspiration plus large alimentée par les problèmes entourant ses finances et la détérioration du mariage, une théorie qui pointe vers l'industrie hollywoodienne elle-même, "ce vil putain de cirque", comme l'appelle l'acteur. «Mais cela a-t-il empêché tous les marchands de pouvoir à Hollywood qui étaient intéressés à me faire taire? On jetait beaucoup d'argent. Les gens me poursuivent à chaque occasion. Je veux dire, tout est si évident. Écoutez, je sais que je n'allais jamais être Cendrillon - je le sais et je l'accepte. Mais c'était comme si, dans un très, très court laps de temps, cette version - à défaut d'un meilleur mot - de Cendrillon s'était soudainement transformée en bête. Il est Quasimodo.«Je pouvais sentir les gens me regarder différemment, à cause des accusations contre vous. Et puis les gens commencent à mettre des choses dans des magazines: «Il est fou. Il doit passer un test de santé mentale ... "Vous savez, des trucs ridicules. Mais la seule chose que je pouvais faire était de savoir ce que je sais encore. En fin de compte, la vérité éclatera dans tout cela et je me tiendrai du côté droit des rapides rugissants. J'espère que d'autres personnes le seront aussi. Je connais la vérité et si je devais m'éloigner de tout cela aujourd'hui, du travail, de la carrière, de tout cela, et aller au toodle-oo, alors très bien.«Je n'ai rien à prouver à personne, car je n'ai jamais été en compétition avec personne. Je n'achète pas dans cette merde. Je ne suis pas intéressé à recevoir des figurines peintes à la bombe. Vous savez, peut-être quoi que ce soit, quoi que je laisse, vous savez, mon héritage à mes enfants ou aux gens, je n'ai pas regardé 98% de cette merde. Cela peut être complètement fou. Ce peut être de la merde. Cela peut être intéressant. Je ne sais pas ce que c'est. Mais ce que je sais, c'est que j'ai fait quelque chose, et j'ai essayé quelque chose de différent, pendant des années. Cela a-t-il fonctionné? Qui diable sait? Mais je l'ai fait et je vais bien arrêter.«J'adore le processus de création d'un personnage. J'adore la sécurité, vous savez, d'être ce personnage. Je veux dire, il y avait une grande sécurité à être aussi ouvert que possible sur Edward Scissorhands et pour essayer de voir des choses, des choses banales, normales, aussi belles et nouvelles, vous savez? Le capitaine Jack était un animal différent, Ed Wood, un animal différent, Mad Hatter[de[from[de[fromAlice in Wonderland], Willy Wonka[[[[Charlie et la chocolaterie]..."Pourtant, il y a un fil conducteur qui traverse tous ces personnages. Il y a un filament qui les relie. Même s'ils sont tous très différents, ils sont tous très similaires, parce que tout doit provenir d'une sorte de vérité, vous savez? Et la vérité est qu'ils sont tous des putains de inadaptés. Ce sont tous des inadaptés et ils sont tous mal compris. Et jugé de manière condescendante, dans le mauvais sens. »Le message est fort et clair quant à ce que Depp pense être descendu avec sa gestion à long terme et ses partenaires commerciaux. Je me demande: s'inquiète-t-il de sa réputation, de son héritage, notamment en ce qui concerne les femmes? Est-il préoccupé par le fait que tant de ce qui a été publié dans la presse, autant du scandale, a causé une érosion irréversible de sa réputation? Ou ne s'inquiète-t-il simplement pas parce que, comme il le dit, il n'a jamais voulu être mis sur un piédestal ou prétendre être un modèle, une figure de Cendrillon?"Savez-vous ... je vais vous dire ..." La pause suivante est longue. Depp et moi sommes assis en silence. La question plane sur nous. Ensuite, il semble simplement décider de parler.«Il ne s'agit pas d'être un modèle. Non, ce n'est pas ça du tout. La bande qui est sortie ... "Il s'arrête et glousse et répète ses mots," La bande qui est sortie, ou la bande que quelqu'un a faite, qui est apparue miraculeusement sur YouTube, prise du téléphone de quelqu'un. Ce n'était pas le centre-ville [LA, where he lived with Amber Heard]. Elle [Heard] voulait faire comme si c'était récent. C'était une vidéo plus ancienne et [what happened in it] avait à voir avec le fait que j'avais perdu des centaines et des centaines de millions de dollars. "La vidéo en question, floue, clandestine, montre Depp remplissant un grand bécher de vin rouge, puis saisissant le téléphone de Heard après avoir vu qu'elle enregistre. The video was “leaked” or released by showbiz gossip channel TMZ in the States, although compared to Heard’s other allegations against Depp the video content seems unexceptional or certainly the least disturbing.Although the pair have now settled out of court, what Heard alleges to have happened in April 2016 still reverberates throughout my meeting with Depp. Heard alleged that on Saturday 21 May, Depp attacked his wife and threw an iPhone at her face. Heard phoned the police, who found “no evidence of any crime”. However, Heard claims to have taken a selfie later that day showing bruising around her right eye and cheek. The following Wednesday she filed for divorce. Depp is currently suing the Sun for alleging in a headline, since altered, that he is a wife beater.I feel like I have to broach the subject with Depp. Does the actor consider himself a violent man? An aggressive man? Can he lose his temper or is he prone to if intoxicated? “The thing that hurt me is being presented as something that you’re really as far away from as you could possibly get, you know?“Then there was that time when the paparazzi were trying to take a photograph of Vanessa and she’s pregnant with Lily-Rose and I was not going to let them make a circus out of it. So I did what I had to do. Got her in the car, they didn’t get the picture, and I said, ‘Take a fucking picture because then I’ll stove your fucking head in. You’ve got your cameras out. First one click. Let’s go.’ And that’s just the truth. I would’ve. I’ve even said before, if a paparazzo gets a shot, they’re far away and they get a shot of me and my kid, whatever, that’s their thing. But if I catch you, I will eat your nose. I will eat your nose, chew it up and swallow it in front of you and then you’ll fucking think about it next time. I fucking mean it. But to...”Depp goes quiet again. It seems like he needs to take stock every so often, to recharge, to get back into a specific lane or mood every time the conversation veers into talking about the volatile relationship with Heard and the results of its breakdown. “To harm someone you love? As a kind of bully? No, it didn’t, it couldn’t even sound like me. So, initially, I just kept my mouth shut, you know? I knew it was going to stick on me and it would get weirder. Keep going, you know? Go nuts. I ain’t going to get into a pissing contest with someone about it. Spit out what you need to spit out and, you know, my attorneys will take care of the rest. I never went out and spoke about the shit.“But of course I care what my family and my kids think. I mean, you realise right away, essentially, that what is being done is the commencement of what they hope is to be your funeral.” Depp is still talking at a measured pace, in his low, cool tones, but his words are just a little clipped at the ends. His vowels just a little firmer.“And worse than that, to take away future earnings that are for my kids, you know? I do this shit for my kids, man. How could someone, anyone, come out with something like that against someone, when there’s no truth to it whatsoever? I’m sure it wasn’t easy for my 14-year-old boy to go to school, you know what I mean? With people going, ‘Hey, look at this magazine, man. What, your dad beats up chicks or something?’ Why did he have to go through that? Why did my daughter have to go through that?” I tell Depp I can see how that would anger him. “She didn’t...” Depp is often all too aware that some of the intricacies of his and Heard’s relationship need to be put in the third person. This is why, at times, he will start off using a subjective pronoun but switch to something more objective, swapping a “she” for “that person”.“Why didn’t that person speak to the police?” continues Depp. “I mean, they spoke to the police, but the police saw nothing and they offered her an emergency medical technician. She said no. Police see nothing on her. Police see nothing broken in the place, no marks, and then they offer her an EMT to have a look at her and she says no and I don’t know if it was the next day or a couple of days later, but then there was a bruise. There was a red mark and then there was a brown bruise.”A day after the alleged phone-throwing took place, Heard was seen at a party, specifically Amanda de Cadenet’s 44th birthday party. De Cadenet posted a picture of herself, with Heard smiling brightly on her right and model Amber Valletta to her left. Heard is tagged in the photo; her hair is brushed over her left eye and cheek. At some point, however, the image was deleted. Depp is emphatic about his version of events. “She was at a party the next day. Her eye wasn’t closed. She had her hair over her eye, but you could see the eye wasn’t shut. Twenty-five feet away from her, how the fuck am I going to hit her? Which, by the way, is the last thing I would’ve done. I might look stupid, but I ain’t fucking stupid.”To suggest that a woman, a man or anyone might have made up such a serious allegation is a tremendously dangerous and damaging thing to do. If we as a global community are striving for equality and acceptance to run through every part of our lives, through all races, cultures and genders, then we need to believe those who stand up and claim to have been subjected to physical or verbal abuse. Let me be clear: this is not a piece of investigative reporting. It is merely a snapshot, a chance to sit down and talk to a person of immense interest and talent, who has, it must be noted, brought joy to millions of film lovers all over the world, ever since he moved from Kentucky to LA and a friend, Nicolas Cage, told him he should go and see his acting agent.This isn’t a piece claiming to know with any authority about what happened between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard in May 2016 or at any other time between the pair in private. All I wanted to do was come to Depp and ask him to give his side of the story, which up until now has not been properly heard. Before we met, it was agreed with his advisors at Hawthorn that both parties would go into this meeting with one simple aim: to record what happens candidly. From my side, this is what I saw and this is the conversation we had.“We probably shouldn’t be talking about this,” continues Depp, “but I am worried. I worry about the people that bought it and I worry about her. It’s just not right. I will never stop fighting. I’ll never stop. They’d have to fucking shoot me. An episode like this takes time to get over. It’s a mourning for someone you thought was...”Again, a pause and quiet. All I can hear is the blood rushing about my skull, nitroed by adrenaline and the swirling white nicotine clouds.The love of his life?“Well, something. I did marry her somehow.”Is he single now?“Yeah,” he says, chuckling and sounding somewhat relieved.Does that feel good?"Ouais."Does he think about wanting to find love ever again?"Non."I need to take a leak. Depp tells me I can use his bathroom and that I’ll find it back at the church. He gives me a set of instructions and directions, although with the electricity of the conversation we have just had still pinging about in my hot skull I nod and smile but when I actually arrive at the church I realise that I wasn’t really paying attention. I walk in through the main door and that’s when I realise I am standing slap bang in the middle of Johnny Depp’s bedroom. Alone. With a full bladder.Actually, I am not quite in his bedroom yet. I am in a small kitchenette. There’s a sink and a box of tissues on a small table and beyond that a door that leads to the bedroom. I can see it’s the bedroom because I can see the huge four-poster bed against the far wall. I venture further in, thinking that there must be an en suite somewhere and now I really am in the middle of Johnny Depp’s bedroom, inside his church, which he had built in the compound he bought with his ex-partner 20 years ago. It makes one’s head spin to be alone in someone’s private space. It’s so intimate, like climbing inside their head or diary and riffling through their thoughts without telling them you’re doing so.I take a quick scan of the room. There’s a jumble of family photographs, a guitar on a stand and clothes strewn about like a teenager just home from school. Down the far end, towards the main church door, which is blocked, two sofas face one another. On the sofa closest to me, down the right-hand side is the most intriguing object of all: a black vintage typewriter with round, silver keys. To the left of the machine is a pile of notes and typed pages. I had heard a rumour that Depp was writing a memoir, a book of his life, and had been doing so for the past few years. It’s a book about the abuse he suffered at the hands of his junkie, desperately violent late mother; about how, in anger, he used to take a baseball bat from the garage as a kid and just spend an hour wailing it against a palm tree in their yard; a book about the work, the films that never made it; about his relationships, his friendships; about when Allen Ginsberg called the actor as he was dying; about Bob Dylan, his friend; about Edward Scissorhands; about the industry, the circus; about the corruption, the excess and the sordid beautiful truth about it all.There’s a page spooled into the machine already. There are a handful of sentences typed, the black ink speckled and smudged on the grained, ivory paper. What is written is private. It’s also eloquent. It reads like someone trying to write vividly, someone desperate to get it out, get it down, so he might hold it up and scream, “Look! This is what happened!” This feels like snooping. I make a swift exit and go back to the bathroom in the café. Eventually I wander back to Depp, the smoke signals from his cigarette indicating he is still where I left him.“You know, on the road with the band, it’s impossible to bring oil paints,” explains Depp. “Mineral spirit stinks up the fucking place, you know? So I’ve just been doing watercolours and odd drawings. I’ve also been doing a lot of writing. I kind of started a book, a couple of months before I broke up with Amber.”Fiction? Memoir? A play?“I’ve written around 300 pages. I have about 300 more pages more to go. I am halfway. They are more memories. And some of the beauty and the knowledge that I’ve been able to glean or sponge off of some of these magic fucking people I know, from Brando to Hunter to Patti Smith to Dylan to Ginsberg. I have been so lucky to have met all these folk. I don’t have cards or make notes really. No structure is blocked out. I have reminders. I’ll make a list of reminders.”Of events he wants to remember?“Yes, but it’s not written in any kind of linear form. It should be more like the unplanned telling of a story around the campfire.” I ask Depp if he finds it hard writing about some of the more painful memories.“Sure. I mean my childhood was dark. My mum wouldn’t edit. There was no editing. She would say what she meant, what she felt, in that instant. No matter how wrong it might have been even, or how hideously evil it was in the moment, she didn’t edit. It came out: bleurgh! She was out of her mind, obviously, and she didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. She got four kids and she hated the world. Was there fuck loads of verbal abuse? Yeah, man. Was there fuck loads of physical abuse? Yes. And never-ending, to the point that pain, physical pain, was just a given. But the last four, five years that I was involved, let’s say... Well, that was quite a dark time too.“I mean, you can write about those things and what’s interesting is you write about those things early on and once you’ve had a few years away from that chapter you go back and reread what you’ve done so far. And then you realise that you do feel the same way you did, but you’re so far beyond it. It puts everything else into perspective. Because at a certain point one must be able to say, ‘What the fuck else can any of you do now? What else can any of you do to hurt me?’”The patter has changed. He is still calm, still warm, but the emotions are right here on the table with us, right in our faces. Maybe it’s just Depp’s natural charisma, but the intensity of the conversation feels like lifting weights. Not because it’s difficult to talk or that it isn’t natural, but simply because of the rawness, the emotional density of the topics. We sit in silence. Depp doesn’t move, not a single muscle flinches. It’s like he’s looked into the Gorgon Medusa’s eyes to see for himself life’s savage reality.The cigarette hangs unlit, like a stogie to be chewed on or soaked with spit. “What was it that Dylan Thomas said, ‘To begin at the beginning,’ right? And Ernest Hemingway, ‘All you have to do is write one true sentence’ – one of the hardest things in the world to do. And [Allen Ginsberg’s] ‘First thought, best thought.’”Depp has taken his writing lessons from brilliant yet often difficult men. He has strung them together like bunting: to begin at the beginning, all you have to do is write one true sentence: first thought, best thought... Much like Ginsberg, Depp has that ability to perform, to unspool himself and all his kinks. A drive into Depp’s memories, one suspects, would be like trying to control a car on a winding mountain road with its brakes cut, thrilling yet perilous.“And Hunter. Hunter! He was right in the centre of every story. And all those stories were true. I have all the tapes and the napkins. Hunter wanted me to buy his archives, but I’m its custodian. They belong to Hunter’s grandson, Will. I think we are going to take it on the road, to show people, to show people the reality, the madness and the goddamn beauty of it all.”For the first time, Depp takes off his shades. He rubs his eyes, which aren’t bloodshot or kohl-lined, but are clear, backlit and luminous. “I want the truth. That’s really my biggest obsession in the world. It’s just the fucking truth.”Yet to live on impulses, to put down all the raw facts unedited as they come out, well, that’s a powerful type of storytelling. As Hunter himself warned of such precision reporting: “Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity.”The truth has no time for perspective. Or rather, truth is not about perspective as a point of view. But to see the whole truth? The whole story? Now, that sort of perspective will allow you to get the entire picture: the correct height, depth and position of all the facts in relation to one another, something that is absolute.There is no doubt Depp is seeking the truth. That is his mission. One day, maybe he will find the right words, in a conversation or in a book, and when he does they will be simple.Subscribe now to get six issues of GQ for only £15, including free access to the interactive iPad and iPhone editions. Alternatively, choose from one of our fantastic digital-only offers, available across all devices.Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald is out on 16 November.The print version of this story includes errors by inaccurately attributing a quote to Johnny Depp, as well as certain factual inaccuracies. GQ apologises and has amended the online version accordingly. https://oltnews.com/johnny-depp-will-not-be-buried-british-gq?_unique_id=5e9d9d1d5bac7

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