#stop annoying me you damned things

[xeaf]

STOP. I've already blocked 3 of those bots and I just woke up a few hours ago. I'm so close to typing out profanities here due to them.

#xae's ✧ rambles 💭 #screw them #can they just die #stop annoying me you damned things

[steakout-05]

miscellaneous digital barry sketches

every time i draw this man i just make him more and more beefy. like. i've given him such a strong chin and big features i think my barry simpery has reached a boiling point heeheehaahaa

also the eyelashes!! they make him more babygirl!!

i headcanon that he's bi and this would be his reaction to seeing the most beautiful people ever in front of his very eyes.... he literally goes awooga heart bursting out of chest jaw drop and completely forgets everything he's doing for a solid 5 minutes

quick little side angle of barry :) i like giving him a bit of an underbite cause he looks more,,, attractive i guess? slightly goofy? but i think i need to make his hair a liiiittle less slicked back maybe....

me when barry.... ignore the singular line down his face i forgot to erase it oups

#barry steakfries #jetpack joyride #damn i just realised how closely i drew his eyes together in one of them.... i gotta stop doin that!! #i don't notice it until AFTER i'm finished drawing and that's the most annoying thing #anyway...... big men #i love giving him extra beard scruff #gotta have that scruffy little face #i saw the barry anatomical drawing that includes the beard scruff as a part of him and just went crazy #what would it feel like if you pet it. like would it be rough or kinda soft #i think it'd be rough but like if he washed his face it'd be softer #also i like how on that specific promo art they point out his ''BIG HAND'' and it's pointing at like his forearm #glad to know his hands are huge and also in the complete wrong spot #he needs to be scruffy.... he NEEDS TO BE SCRUFFY......... #me up at late hours of the night going insane from man scruff #i wanna draw barry being held in craig's arms like laying down dramatically and saying ''save me big nerd..... big nerd save me'' #i like how these sketches are all just several disembodied barry heads making various funny expressions #they're my guardian angels

[cupiare]

i like. refuse to entertain any thoughts that maybe i just didnt come out right or theres something fundamentally wrong w me cause i don’t want to get caught in a self pitying mindset but i do wonder . what exactly makes me always end up in Predicaments with people why do i feel like the more honest i am and the clearer my intentions the worse they get across

#p #i am so desperately fighting this feeling of otherness i will NOT shut myself out #but god fucking damn it sometimes people make me feel so bad for apparently being so unable to resonate with them #i’ll make a very clear straightforward statement and they’ll be like By that you clearly mean this: #like no i don’t actually. what i mean is exactly what i said? #this constant social expectation to read between the lines of everything and then getting in trouble for taking things at face value #and the thing i say to be taken at face value always get misconstrued bcs ppl read between lines that don’t exist #i just feel slapped in the face after genuine efforts i’ve made to stop being an annoying bitch and picking everything apart to get to its #deeper meaning. now i’m suddenly made to feel like either a shit person or socially incapable #all cause ? i refuse to read other peoples minds and don’t expect them to read mine? #and me demanding the same honesty back is unfair also hence me being a shit person/socially incapable #thes things make my head hurt . should everyone elses values and priorities be respected except for mine. which is in my onion a very #reasonable adjustment for clear communication..? #Should i kill myself. yes or no

[softshuji]

My mom's pissed at me Because I told her to stop stressing me out with more issues when I'm on the verge of a breakdown already and now she's upset at me.

#shes behaving like a child #getting upset because i told her to stop harassing me with more issues and things to worry about when my health is bad and im really #stressed out as it is. #i don't ever dictate what she should do. ever. and yet every other day it's #haleema you need to do this snd that #im stressed out please please for 5 minutes JUST stop #she's so used to the idea of me agreeing with her letting her say whatever she wants #that shes annoyed at me for disagreeing with her one time. #be a damn adult you're the parent not to me

[hecksupremechips]

Fucked up how happy I get whenever I make content of Shinjiro Aragaki being actually loved and getting to heal and learning to love the little things in life and getting to express himself. What’s up with that

#persona #shinjiro aragaki #hes the only one i really respect here #its like so annoying though that i even care like whats wrong with me why does this bother me so much #just cuz i see myself in this character and also feel like shit and idk when he doesnt even get to live doesnt get to recover #and this is treated as a good game with a profound theme and this is treated as good writing #its hard not to be hurt when its like. im barely hanging on man #and youre telling me he can be saved by someone noticing him and caring about him and he can get through it and be loved and try to heal #but this is treated as some sorta disservice to the narrative and that you cant have the theme work this way #its like. but this is the only way i can even feel anything about this theme this actually makes me wanna try #seeing the character going through mental issues like mine die just like. it makes things suck idk #and its like why do i even care like this shouldnt matter but idk its like #if he can make it then why cant i #and im just really attached to this and i really really want to make my fic of him exist cuz. nothing is going good for me rn #but if i can make this one thing thats important to me where someone gets to recover then maybe ill feel less helpless #its what im trying to tell myself so i can stop feeling like im. idk cringe or something cuz im emotionally attached to a fictional #character and the wellbeing of this character feels like motivation for me #i just wish i wasnt so damn desperate about it 😩 #anyway can someone please slap me with a fish so i can stop being insecure about my writing and just fucking do it

[taketheringtolohac]

Really annoyed at the terminology midsized rn. Like. Sure it can be helpful for some people (namely women) who have been made fun of for being fat but aren’t fat fat. But that’s the problem with this terminology in the first place. In giving a name to this body size that focuses on clothing size rather than actual bodies themselves we also further distance these bodies from fatness, which only works to stigmatize fatness even more than it already is. It just reinforces the idea that fat = bad and something that only “real” fat people are, when in reality all bodies have fat and many of these “midsize” bodies are what people have called fat in the past but now have been recontextualized in the era of heightened self awareness of the “average size body” as “normal” but the people using the term were made to feel inferior bc of the fat on their bodies and now simultaneously embrace the “normalness” of their bodies while also distance themselves from the fatness AND distinguish their bodies as “different.” We literally need to destigmatize the word fat NOW bc ppl are literally just inventing new ways to be unconsciously fatphobic. fat is not a binary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#again it is helpful for some people. but ultimately those people need to unlearn their internalized fatphobia surrounding the word fat! #there isnt rlly such a thing as “fat enough.” like yes people who are fatter face more social stigma and ostricization #for not being conventionally beautiful or thin or even “acceptable” fat. but also being afraid of being fat is also fatphobia. #like get out of here with this ohhh youre not fat ur just midsized bs. no!!! you can acknowledge that you have more privlege than #someone who is fatter than you but also that you are not skinny and do in fact have visible fat. is that so hard! stop being so afraid! #which is easier said than done believe me i KNOW but also work on yourself. god damn. #you can rb if you want but im really just spitballing here. and annoyed as hell LOL #roxy talks

[betasuppe]

Being ghosted fucking kills me.

I know I'm nothing special. I know I'm a world away from you. I know I'm not worth your time.

But being reminded that I've been replaced? In a good mate's life?

Like, just fucking stab me in the heart, that would hurt less than all this bullshit.

#rejection sensitivity is turned on fucking max #i really need to stop bothering people #im annoying & a waste of dpace #only interested in dumb trite things #like nok dude theres a reason you have only two friends irl #just kill me god damn

[twistedappletree]

.

#apple babble 🍎 #non fandom #i need life to give me a fucking break fr like????? #almost immediately after i finally crawled out of a major depressive episode #infected fucking dog bite from some asshole’s unleashed dog #major tooth abscess that literally has my entire left side of my face and head and neck throbbing with pain #can’t afford to get the damn thing pulled until a few more days #so my body is fighting 2 major infections rn and my heart rate is at a constant 100-115 #can’t think straight can’t focus on anything #couldn’t walk priya today bc of how shitty i feel #had an EXTREMELY stressful anxiety ridden day with my client today which didn’t help anything #my work days have been so fucking long that i don’t have time to take care of my medical stuff before everything closes #i had to race to get my antibiotics WHILE i was working bc i knew i wouldn’t get there in time after work #bc my fucking client kept adding shit for me to do last minute #then was like ‘oh btw you only have an hour to make these 10 fucking stops bc my appt is soon’ #give me a fucking break liKE COME THE FUCK ON #IM SO MAD AND ANNOYED #i didn’t even walk the dogs this morning #i just too them to a secluded place off the trail and fucking cried for an hour #i really hate things rn like i really hate how difficult and fucking expensive it is to stay alive #i fucking HATE IT #delete later #i guess idfk whatever

[loveoaths]

most of the fandom debates about who is responsible for what in Star Wars would be solved if folks remembered that the characters are not real and their choices were made by real life people with on-screen time constraints and deadlines

#which is not to say there isn’t a value in asking questions and engaging with characters in the text; far from it #but every time there is an argument that is like ‘well why didn’t yoda spend 30 minutes explaining therapy to anakin’ #I’m just like. because it’s a movie. because that’s not how a screenplay works. because George is not a good writer. #an attempt was made. not a good one. but an attempt. #like we don’t have to like yoda’s response but I can confidently tell you there is no world in which the narrative momentum stopped and yoda #leads anakin through a CBT session. y’all. #fandom wank. #i’m aware this is Nothing but this one specific thing is annoying to me sometimes lmfaooo sorry #walkie talkie. #don’t even get me started on the arguments that the Jedi suck for letting palpatine be alone with anakin lmfaooo THEIR WORLD IS NOT OURS #WHERE EVERY DAY IS ANOTHER DAMN DISCOVERY of politicians doing freak shit. in character we know if they had any reason to believe palps was #Like That they would not let anyone near him #also. ALSO. using comics to justify shit that happens in the movies can sometiems work on a character level but we gotta be aware that we ha #have different writers with different points of view who are working RETROACTIVELY to make things fit and fill out undefined timelines #idk where I’m going with this but. tldr. I don’t know what we gain by going in circles about the same topic in an unuseful way #no shade to my mutuals btw. I’m just. I don’t get it.

[lesbiansanemi]

Can Twitter finally just fucking implode I am so sick of hearing about that stupid ass website

#I also just fucking hate it and want it to die anyways #I’ve always hated it due to the insane influence it got in the publishing industry that makes it damn near impossible for some ppl to get #published or involved in the industry at all #like if you’re not on Twitter 24/7 or don’t have the right Twitter connections you literally cannot land a publishing deal el oh el #it was also the shift of so many writers having to do MOST of the marketing for their books rather than the publishing houses #which was ridiculous #like I dunno I literally don’t have the time/energy/socialization or networking skills to try and land an agent via the right fucking tweet #and I think it’s fucking stupid that that was a thing that started happening at all #ppl shouldn’t be pitching fucking books on TWITTER writers shouldn’t have to be public figures on Twitter for the sake of marketing #so I hate that stupid app and want it to fucking die so that new part of the industry goes down with it #like that is actually the main reason for my indescribable rage for Twitter #I hope it dies. and I hope I can stop reading shit about Elon musk for like two fucking minutes #also y’all sound fucking stupid with your ‘Elon is actually THIS dumb’ shit #because like yeah obviously he’s an idiot don’t get me wrong #but he’s not accidentally running Twitter into the ground just because he’s stupid #he’s deliberately trying to kill it because he never wanted to buy in the first place and wants it to become a write off #like yeah he’s still goddamn dumb but he’s NOT doing all this to try and make Twitter profitable el oh el #anyways. I’ll be quiet now y’all are just being annoying about this #kaz rambles

[hzrnvm]

emotional. happy, pissed off, all that.

#hzrn #im cool with being annoying hypothetically but the real kicker is that no form of communication exists that i can really use comfortably #every single form of communication out there. i can't use it. i can't fuckin talk bc the sounds are too hard. #i can't fuckin type bc the buttons are too hard. #i can't fucking body and hands bc motions are too hard. #i can't fucking art because art involves all those things. #damn fucking WORDS are too hard. i put so much work into them and i get nothing. nothing! #who made the world this way?! why is it that all communication and socialization is so. fucking. hard!!!! #i tried! i really really fuckin tried man! all last year i tried so so hard. #i fell FLAT on my face. NO ONE liked me. they called me a retard! they said i was scary‚ awkward‚ hard to be around! #they did coordinated social attacks on me! then when i come back to school this year and i even *think* about trying again‚ they say #'nobody wants him here. and he should stop caring' #well right about then‚ is where she gives up! she has closed her eyes‚ she has given up hope! #i gave up trying to exist socially at school. the two paths are being myself and getting bullied‚ or not being myself and getting nothing #today was a good day for me all in all but idk. #the only reason i dont hold grudges like crazy is because of my object impermanence shit #although this might as well count as a grudge. i think it's somewhat justified though‚ because in my case it's more like #if you hurt me seriously then i'll think about it pervasively until you do something to redeem yourself in my mind. #probably that's part of the reason im so scared of being myself and shit #this is probably the reason why im so scared of being myself. bc everytime i tried i got bullied‚ mocked‚ demeaned. and that shit piles up. #i just spend mosta my time not thinking about it! just like i spend mosta my time not thinking about who i am‚ my future‚ my past and on! #siiiigh. sigh sigh siiiiiiiiigh #it's ok to like this post by the way #in fact it's encouraged. im directly and clearly asking you to. #im not making this post for nothing. im making it in the hopes that someone will read what i said. #although really no one will. why the hell would anyone fucking read this. get fuckin real. #i know for certain i'll wake up tmrw with this at at maximum like. 1 like. 2 if im really the luckiest girl in the world. #and i know how i sound caring about likes and shit. but really all it tells me is someone read this. and i really fuckin need someone to re

[firelord-frowny]

lmao i just bought the new assassins creed game and i hope to god that the player character isnt sexy bc i CANNOTTTTTTTT go through this again omfg

#alexios has fucking ruined my life do you understand me????????? #i dont even want to look at a Real Man anymore #literally like #fantasizing about this damn video game character is more fun than ive ever had with a real male lmaoooo #literally why would i put up with all the annoying things that come with Living Breathing Human Beings when i could just #stare at a hot video game man #its so crazy bc i swear i wasnt even enamored with him at first omfg #but as soon as he got ready to kill his dad my loins began to tingle and HAVENT STOPPED #im a hop skip and a jump away from being a total pacifist in real life but fictional violence gets me HOT AND BOTHERED

[twig-gy]

okay but whenever proshippers say [thing i have literally never heard anyone say or consider saying] that’s really gross which is why i hate them

#literally don’t mind this post it’s just me being unnecessarily salty #like bro what. where are you getting this info. what tf are you talking about #give me a single example #feels like everyone hates proshippers for the most inane reasons #okay i’m just going to scream now bc i’m frustrtaed #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA #that isn’t very cathartic in text #it’s just like. so annoying. that’s not what ‘all proshippers’ think wtf #feels like ppl will go on this webbed site and say ‘dni proshippers. i hate them bc every single one thinks all dairy should be eradicated’ #WHY. WHAT. SHOW ME THE DAMN BIBLIOGRAPHY #also my own sister has a dni proshippers on her thing. because she’s a minor????? what????? #well not minor anymore ig #she’s an actual real adult now what will she do………. #but anyway what am i supposed to do with that. she’s my goddamn sister. no i’m not gonna stop interacting with her bc of her dni #i hate breathing exercises they feel so trite like stupid breathing is going to fix all my mental issues????? #and then when it works it feels like it vindicates everyone #who instantly told me 2 do that when they heard abt me having any kind of issue #aghhhhh that thought Does Not Help #so when i do it i try to think of my choir teacher instead #yknow i used to show songs to him after class and then he’d comment on it and we’d talk about various song things like friends #it was nice. no one has really talked to me abt music like that before or since #and i miss it #i love music so much #theres nothing else quite like it. that’s true for all artforms but #what else can make you feel something so simply so easily? #when i make music i wanna be able to control my audience’s mood like that #sometimes i try for atmospheric pieces ones that really embody like a setting #like the glowing cave one! #when i’m not doing that i usually have a specific thing i’m trying out #like slides or chords or varying length of notes

[vegaseatsass]

I always thought aging baggage was about like, societally induced bullshit about what our bodies should do and look like that mostly couldn't touch me because 1. I find the "look like" side of things sexy and have been anticipating The Changes with great eagerness since I was a teen 2. unpacking attitudes around disability and what my body can do is another thing I've been doing on and off since I was a teen (even if More is not such an eager process) what I didn't account for is the phenomenon of time??? moving faster and faster??? every year??? How terrifying it feels? To just not understand where 365 days went. For decades to disappear in a blur... it legitimately unsettles me!!

I have a bday coming up and I'm really trying to hold onto these contradictions. Half "Yesssss I'm heading into my sexiest years" half "but my 2018 birthday just happened. wtf"

#def a good way to counter this is to like. keep records of meaningful moments and landmarks. journal more #(and i consider like goodreads/mydramalist/letterboxd/etc journaling too. they help you chronicle and mark and remember) #also actively stop and try to remember what you did do in the last month or six months or year and cultivate gratitude/pride for it #yesterday i was remembering a project i pulled off over the summer like holy shit that was me? i did that! #that felt like it happened in 2018 the memory is so faded and ancient but it was actually august 2022!!! #and ofc the annoying things that work like stopping to smell the damn flowers or for me stopping to stare at the trees #trees... i love you... and you truly help me mark seasons and time #but man it's hard! time can you slow down please. you're making us all motion sick #otoh damn i look good #damn i know myself well #this fucks #etc #so you know time it's ok. we can still be friends even if you don't slow down #dear diary

[karlrose]

I have a bingeing problem.

If I like something, I will binge on it.

I like a show, I will binge that show.

I like a food, I will eat nothing but that food until It makes me sick.

I like a drink, I will drink nothing else ever again (Dr. Pepper. I have a Dr. Pepper problem. I would replace my blood with it if it wouldn't immediately result in my death)

I like a song, I will binge all their music.

I like your art, I will binge that art.

I like your blog, I will binge scroll until I reach the bottom.

#i have an overindulgent personality #I used to drink nothing but coffee but I got sick because it was summer in Georgia and I was drinking hot coffee #the hole I burned into my stomach lining from drinking coffee was the final straw though #the school nurse thought it was appendicitis but it was just an irresponsible amount of coffee #actually as I'm typing this I realize it wasn't the hospital scare #I stopped drinking coffee because I got pregnant #I can risk MY life with my bad habits but I couldn't put my baby's life at risk #that would be incredibly irresponsible #other people thank their moms for the gift of life #I thank my kids for the fact that I'm still alive #I thank my mom for nothing except my insecurities and eating disorders #she was a coldhearted bitch who drank screwdrivers while driving with us in the car #And she never hugged me #or told me anything nice about myself #Now I'm overly affectionate and supportive of my kids to the point that they get annoyed with my love #BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW SMART AND BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED AND AMAZING YOU ARE AND HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE DAMN IT!!! #I think I binge things the way I do because of my mommy issues #anything to fill the whole in my heart that should have been filled with her love #therapy has been going well...

[bandomgay]

You know desensitization to alot of taboo horrifying things can be okay but everyone on this app hassss to stop acting like people are stupid for being sensitive to incest,gore and real noncon /nbh

#getting mad and weird with people who dont want to see that stuff is GENUINELY insane theres a way to carefully explore these things without #disregarding the trauma people have from this you have to be joking its getting so fucking annoying im tired of seeing it actually #never are u gonna catch me disregarding peoples sensitivity to things that i damn well know r traumatizing you arent cool or progressive #your an asshole #theres people u can talk to these things with without hurting or judging stop pushing it on to people outside ur circles