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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

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Hate It When You See Me Cry - Markie Trattman x Reader Drabble (Killing Them Softly)

Author’s Note: I LITERALLY wrote this for me. To vent a little. And... Kinda get it out of my system..!!! You know. When you get the idea and it’s a 20 minute fic? Yeaaaahhh... Also it means I retcon THAT moment in Killing Them Softly so I can get over it!

Halestorm gave me SO many ideas with their songs, it was nice to ‘rediscover’ them for this! Disclaimer: No ‘Killing Them Softly’ characters are mine. And if they were it wouldn’t have ended like it did! But here we go...! This wouldn’t be happening without ‘Hero Wanted’ tbh, Ray Liotta is not a great love of mine, but he WAS in that movie. And he is in this one because I just... I CAN’T with that scene okay... Premise: After Markie’s game gets rolled (again) its obvious he’s about to take the fall... Only this time he didn’t do it.Your job is to protect that man no matter the costs, but what are you really protecting him for? Words: 3614 Warnings: Violence / Blood / Murder / Swearing /

I hate it when you see me cry When I'm not as tough as I should be You've seen the softest part of me... I hate it when I let you down When your smile turns around And I know I'm supposed to be The one who says "Babe, count on me" I hate it when I let you down I'm your rock 'n roll Joan of Arc The queen of broken hearts I'm here to save the world Who will save Supergirl? What if I'm weak, And I need you tonight? I hate it when you see me cry I hate it that I need you now To hold my hand, to hear me out If I wake up on the bathroom floor, Will you still want me in the morning? Oh, babe, I need you now... ---

The chartered flight back couldn’t have gone any slower. You sat with your hands over your face and your head between your legs. Of course something like this was bound to happen now. You were meant to be on vacation, but you’d been called back early. Far too early. Markie was setting up games again, which was fine, because it was supposed to be the safest time to be Markie. When nothing would happen, and that meant he would smile at you and nudge your arm and tell you to take a few weeks off - time for yourself. The first few times he’d done it you had been too worried about the consequences, and had taken time to yourself at home. Of course, the one time you took a vacation elsewhere was the one time his game got robbed. It’d happened before; back when you were barely on the security roaster. Only Markie had done that one himself... Which also wouldn’t have been a bad thing. But he’d then subsequently told everyone he had. So THIS time, you knew where all eyes would be. And that worried you. Now you weren’t only head of that roaster but his personal bodyguard. You should have been there. Maybe it was better you weren’t. You couldn’t have run off that plane and through security any faster if you’d wanted to. But you stopped as soon as you got to the arrivals hall. Fully expecting to see his chauffer here, you were surprised that it was Markie himself. You furrowed your eyebrows, approaching him apologetically; “I’m so sorry.” “What for?” “I should have been there.” “You were on vacation, you weren’t to know.” “Should you... Be out here?” He noticed the way your eyes were constantly shifting. You hadn’t been talking to him for any longer than a minute but you were already back on duty. “Well...” He tried to bring your eyes back to his face “...You’re back now. So I’ve got nothing to worry about.” Then he made a face like he might have accidentally put too much on your shoulders; “No... I’m... sorry that wasn’t fair.” You took a breath; “I wouldn’t have let it happen, that’s for sure. How did it happen!?” He motioned for you to follow him; “Not here. In the car...” “Yes sir.” Markie opened the back door for you, and you tipped your head. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Did he feel bad for having to call you back. You opened your mouth, you wanted to say he didn’t need to feel bad. You felt bad for being away. If you were here, it never would have happened. Well - it might have happened - but they wouldn’t have got away with it. He inclined his head, telling you to get in and you nodded your thanks, sliding across the leather seat for him to follow you. He indicated to the driver that he could pull away, and soon enough you were heading into the city. Markie stared out of the window for a good few minutes, chin resting in his palm. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to wait for him to speak. Or ask all your questions. But you were worried - you knew they came around to ask questions last time and he’d brushed it off. This time they would come back, asking similar things… And they wouldn’t believe Markie no matter what he said. And if he said he did it, you were sure he hadn’t but you could never be too careful, he would die. It was your duty to make sure that didn’t come to pass. Eventually you took a deep breath; “Who were they?” His blue eyes flicked to yours in a way that made your breath catch. “...Kids.” You shook your head, mouth pressed into a thin lie “I dunno Markie... Kids toppling a game?” “They certainly sounded like kids.” “...Where from?” “...The US I guess... The one that did most of the talking was anyway.” “So one didn’t talk.” “That’s right. If he made any sound at all it certainly wasn’t words.” You nodded and he knew that you were processing all of this information very fast; you had never been anything less than efficient. If anyone could find out who had done this you could. “One of them is foreign.” That was obvious. Staring you in the face. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t voice his question of how you knew; “...Does that narrow it down?” “Considerably. I’m not sure they were kids though. Kids would never hold their nerve in a room full of the Mob...” “So you think you can find them?” “I can do my best. But as ever, boss, my primary concern is your safety.” “I’ll be fine.” His tone was dismissive. But his eyes continued to linger on yours, making you frown; “You can say that all you want, but you know Dillon and the crew will be coming for you... and Markie they won’t just ask questions.” He blinked against your stare but didn’t look away, he understood that. And he also understood it meant you’d be in the direct line of fire “...Post someone else on me, and go figure this out.” It was meant to be the end of the conversation as he looked away from you. And you had to hesitate for a second, feeling the blush creep up your cheeks at the knowledge he wasn’t asking you to actually go out there to prove him innocent, but so you wouldn’t be hurt when they came for him. You shook it away as quick as it came and touched his arm, firmly, to bring him back. You had to be certain. You could only do this if you were certain. “Sir. I have to ask. I don’t want to but I need to.” He tilted his head very slowly, his eyes almost harsh. You knew it wasn’t your place, and you hoped it didn’t come off accusational. But you could only do this with a clear conscience if you knew. You bit the bullet. “Did you do it. Did you topple your own game? Again.” There wasn’t an ounce of a lie behind those eyes; and you’d become accustomed to reading him so well you knew what he wanted with just a movement “No. Y/N. I did not. And I swear to you. I would not ask you to do this if I did.” ** You spent a little bit of time touring the town on a little bit of a downer, you could have been anywhere in the world right now. But NOPE, because of these losers you were stuck working again. It wasn’t Markie’s fault. …Well, maybe it was a little his fault. If he hadn’t have told everyone he’d done it before then they wouldn’t be suspecting him now. And word on the street was definitely that they suspected it was him. You were also trying to do your best to curb that kind of talk. That worried you, so you started to follow him around instead. It didn’t escape his notice that you were doing this, whilst still trying to focus on your research. You were determined to make these two pay… But… At the same time, if they were just kids… “You don’t have to follow my every move, Y/N… I’ll be alright.” “You say that, but what if Dillon comes after you again-!? You think he’d just gonna throw you around a trailer and let it GO this time-!? Markie…! The street is-” He waved a hand to lower you voice, “I know, I know. But I didn’t do nothin’…” “You think they’ll believe you!?” “If you find the people that did. I need you to focus on that right now… Noone is coming after me… Y/N… Don’t you think they already would have?” Turned out that was famous last words on Markie’s part. Because you spent the majority of your day chasing leads and got caught up in one that was leading you towards Squirrel fast. Suddenly so many roads pointed that way it was suddenly so obvious that it was all him. But then you realised you’d be late back to see Markie home and had to squash it for another day… But no, you arrived home late, because his car was there. But… There were no lights on in the house. That not only made you suspicious but worried. There was a code, and one light was always left on for you, even if Markie had gone to bed himself. Looking at your watch you knew there was no way that was the case either. Where…?! You sighed angrily to yourself. They’d taken him, hadn’t they. DAMMIT-! You cursed yourself twice, but knew you could still fix this misstep! Finding them wouldn’t be hard for you… At least you hoped not. And you had to find them, before it was too late. ** The rain had just started when you got there… Hidden in the shadows. You had to wait for the moment. If you went in guns blazing now it could do more damage. And you were never that kind of person anyway. Calm. Stoic. Calculating. Ice Cold. You were known for that. As a woman you also subverted all expectation. They didn’t expect you to be dangerous; but you were lethal. It was the reason Markie wanted you in his personal guard, it was the reason you were his favourite. With Markie out of the car and the rain falling steadily; even though you couldn’t hear what they were saying, or lipread with the sky open from this distance – you knew from his body language Markie was telling them he didn’t do anything. But no matter what you knew they wouldn’t believe him. And the punches started flying. You couldn’t help but feel angry about it. Emotion never played into your job – you just got on with whatever he told you to do. But you knew you had feelings for him. So watching this happen was straining against everything you knew you should be doing. Markie continued to protest innocence and they weren’t having it. Well. Now neither were you. The shot rang out in the night and Barry buckled with a howl of pain. He’d thrown the first punch, so he could take the first bullet. Through his calf. You didn’t often shoot to kill; you’d rather warn and injure first. You had a conscience – no murder unless necessary. And of course, it would be Barry and Steve to do the beginning dirty work… Dillon… Jackie… Micky… They would follow suit. Three people you had never encountered – but you didn’t have to to know how dangerous they were. It didn’t matter in that moment, you knew you’d fight them all to save his life. And it wasn’t just because that was your job. Steve wheeled around, but was met with nothing but darkness. “What the F***!?” You’d be saying the same thing. Your second shot, much more a warning, whizzed past his right shoulder. “Who the F*** is there!” You smiled; “Why don’t you leave him alone?!” You watched Steve squint into the darkness and tell his partner, whimpering on the floor with his hand over the wound now seeping blood, to shut up. “Who the F**k wants us to do that?!”

You stepped forward; your heels striking that wet pavement with just the right sound. Oh-! That always made you feel good. “If Markie says he didn’t do it. He didn’t do it. You’re really gonna do this?” Your hands were back in your coat pocket. No gun visible. Maybe there was more than one of you. Maybe not. You’d keep them in the dark on that. “Y/N! What the F*** are you doing?!” “My job. Asshole. Leave him ALONE.” “You really expect us to believe Markie didn’t do nothing?! YOU believe it.” “I do. So if you want to get to him, you’re gonna go through me.” Steve looked you up and down like you were possibly the least threatening thing he’d ever seen, and then scoffed “Yeah. Of course…” He turned back to Markie who hadn’t taken his eyes off you. He didn’t want you here, you could tell. This was dangerous for you. Whether it was your job or not. Steve raised his fist and Markie flinched. And you sighed; FINE. If he didn’t want to play nice, you wouldn’t either. You were quick from standing and you delivered a heft elbow to Steve’s side, that had him reeling and punching Markie’s shoulder rather than his face. Still not great – but better. He clutched his side and glared at you.

“WHAT THE F**K!?” You were now between him and your boss. Where you should always have been. You glared back; trying to ignore the pain in your chest. Now you were in the middle of it you knew Markie was crying. It hurt, that you could have stopped that from happening “I said. LEAVE him alone.” “You know what he F**king did!” “F**k you, Steve, for thinking that he wouldn’t own up to it with the way you two were going at him.”

You looked to Barry, still on the floor and clutching his leg; blood mixed with rain over the pavement; “Guess if he was up and at ‘em it would actually be a fair fight for you. Too bad.” You turned your attention on Steve; “You want Markie you go through me.” “…FINE.” A gun was cheating in this situation, you knew the rules. He came at you; dodge one, two, three… “C’mon Steve this is too easy. I thought you were good at this?” Why you were being so cocky about this you didn’t know. Really you should be trying to get this over with; you were about as aware as you could be that Markie wasn’t really moving anywhere… If he was badly hurt you’d never forgive yourself. Steve had clearly worn himself out on Markie though. Because he stopped, breathing heavily. You tipped your head and raised an eyebrow; “What is it, afraid to hit a girl?” “You’re no f**king girl.” You couldn’t help but smirk at that “…Damn f**king right.” You heard the noise behind you just shy of a little too late and Barry, back on his feet managed to lock your arms behind your back. He won’t remain that way for long, but I’ll play into this… “OH. Yeah, now I guess it’s fair.” “…F**k you.” You laughed “Boys, you can try.” “Let her have it Steve. She was probably in on it too.” You turned your head, but Barry was too behind you for you to see him. “If I was you think I’d still be here? No. I’d be back on vacation..!” Steve got as close as he dared to (probably) and stared at you hard “I’m going to give you one more chance to leave. Because I actually kinda LIKE you. You’ve got the right attitude. Go join Dillion. Markie’s as good as finished anyway.” “…What, you think you can buy loyalty now?” you shook your head “I would DIE for him. That’s the whole point!” “Careful what you wish for honey!” This time when he lashed out his punch connected with your left cheek. Ow-! Okay. That was dumb, Y/N and you probably deserved that. Somehow, that thought made you laugh. In fact, the whole situation made you laugh. So you turned back to him; cheek throbbing;

“Oh-! See. That’s better.” Your eyes flashed “I hope that was worth it. It’s the only hit you’re gonna get.” You pushed backwards into Barry. Who stumbled slightly because of his leg – which was exactly what you wanted; as it forced him to let you go. Slamming your knee into where the bullet had hit and bringing your heel into his foot; causing him to cry out. Now away from you completely you slammed your first elbow into his chest and the second into his face. He hit the floor, which made you smirk and turn back to Steve.

“Okay. Darlin’. Your turn.” He’d had a bit of time to catch his breath, so not all your hits were connecting – he put up some good blocks. But when you got around those, everything was suddenly hitting right. You always wore rings; for exactly this moment. Brass knuckles or anything similar were too crude for you, but the metal of your rings; usually either rough cut themselves or with rough cut stones, had a similar effect. (Whilst still being badassly feminine!) The cuts all over his face were evidence of that. He stumbled, not enough to fall over, but enough for you to know it was the beginning of the end. Slam; into his chest with your shoulder knocked him back again. Strike three; knee – same place. It winded him enough to crumple back onto the floor. Your heels struck the wet pavement again, with that swagger in your hips. “SO. Do you give up?” “Go to hell.” “…Was that a no?” “If you think we’ll f**king give up… We WON’T. Others will come for him too… You do realise that; don’t you!?” You sighed; “…I don’t know why you can’t just admit you know he didn’t DO it.” “He-” You slapped him. Through with these games now, your anger spiked; “APOLOGIZE.” Barry was still moaning on the ground behind you, which was starting to piss you off. You took your gun from your pocket again and clicked your safety back off; “…You really want me to do this? Apologise to him.” “F**k that.” Barry suddenly groaned from the back; “…Steve… just… you should… do it…” When Steve’s face remained determined, you rolled your eyes;

“Fine. But you did this to yourselves.” One bullet and Barry collapsed. You didn’t even need to look to take the shot. You turned your gun on Steve; “You really wanna do this?” “They’ll come for you too.” You shook your head. Sure. They might, they probably would. But you were right on this, and that’s all that mattered. You motioned to Markie again “Apologise.” He didn’t. So neither did you. You ran back over to Markie instantly. He was breathing heavily and bleeding. And suddenly you realised you were crying. That tightness across your chest was nearly foreign to you, but it was present. And there was a stark realisation that hot tears were mixing with rain to run down your face. You opened the car door; “Sit… Markie sit…” SHOOT-! Crying was one thing it might have completely been able to be passed off; due to the rain, but it was present in your voice. And you hated it. You were supposed to be the one that lacked emotion. That could do her job, and well. And, at this point, you’d failed at both, hadn’t you? “Y/N…Are you…” He at least did as you asked but you shook your head. No… No, no, no… You weren’t! It wasn’t happening… It certainly WASN’T what was happening… He tilted his head, looking at the two bodies; “…Eh.. I dunno… Murder… I don’t think that…” He winced, making you move for him, “NO-! No no! I’m… Gonna be okay… It’s fine…” He noticed you were breathing heavily too, and that punch that had connected had left blood running from a cut… “Y/N… You need to…” You knew what he was going to say; and both your emotion and the adrenaline that was coursing through you from the fight brought you to your knees. “..I’m sorry…” “Why. God… You… Y/N you might have just saved my life…” “I’m stronger than this…!” This time you did almost sob. Because the thought that you might have hung around and let him die… Then you flinched; Markie had reached out and touched your hair, it was delicate. But it was caring. Had he even touched you before; was your heart racing before he did that-!?

His hand moved gently to the side of your face. His thumb caressed gently under the cut and it stung. Making you wince; “Hey… It makes you human… and thank god for that…” He took your face in his hands with a wince of his own, and you realised both of you were in tears. For different reasons “…You can cry.” You shook your head, even though you let out another sob. You could feel your cheeks go red, and you closed your eyes. You were weak, and a mess. “It’s okay… Y/N… It’s okay…” He pulled you closed to him running his fingers back into your hair; you wound your arms around his legs and rested your head against his knees and he let you cry. You hated yourself for it. And you hoped he wouldn’t bring it up. This is Markie though, and he won’t. Tomorrow will be a new day, and he’ll pretend like this never happened – you hope. But with his hands in your hair… It was strange for you, that he would give you a touch you wanted… in a situation you certainly didn’t.

Markie refused to let his line of sight raise from watching you cry… He was concerned about you – he always was – he wouldn’t think twice about having you there protecting him. He would just rather you didn’t throw yourself into danger for him. You were still young; you could still get out and have a life. But that heartbeat, so fast, that he could feel under your skin… He couldn’t help but wonder… He sighed gently, with a smile, even though you couldn’t see it; “We’re gonna be okay…”

#Markie Trattman #killing them softly #Ray Liotta #HALESTORM GAVE ME SO MUCH FIC-SPERATION!#RETCON COMPLETE!!!#Honestly the second watch through I skipped the scene and actually really enjoyed it #but the first time it hurt me and pulled me from the movie entirely #Oh my god like the poor guy!#Markie! I love you!#49 #Carla #Linzi Writes

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