#that's how much i miss yamqn too

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I can't actually get over the yamqn ff,i constantly think about them being able to end up as a happy family yk with their child and how Beomgyu would play with their child and adored it so much.😭Do you mind writing a really short darbble about this if u have some time of course

"Mommy, I made tea for you."

"Oh, you didn’t have to, baby. Thank you!" You gush at your son, taking the cup from his hand so he wouldn't spill it.

"Drink it. Drink it!" He sings as soon as you take it from him.

"Okay." You laugh, not failing to see the eager, mischievous look on his face as he watches you take a sip--a look that is all too reminiscent of his father's own boyhood. And soon when the take a sip and a bitter saltiness hits your tongue rather than the sweetness that would be expected, you’re not surprised in the slightest but you sure do act like it for you son's benefit.

"Yuck! What is that?" You make an exaggerated grossed out face and the light airy giggles your son lets out are something he definitely inherited from you. It's Beomgyu's favorite as he has told you many times.

"It's--it's--SALT!" Your son hiccups through his laughter.

"Aw, I can believe I fell for that." You lament dramatically, and that's when Beomgyu comes back to the garden where you and your son are seated.

"Fell for what?" He asks curiously and you give him a silly pout. "Your son put salt in my tea."

"Ohh, the old salt instead of sugar trick. Classic. Respectable. But there is much better ones I can teach you." Beomgyu tell your son and you gasp, fake affronted. "Don't you dare, Beomgyu."

"Oh yeah, and who is gonna stop me?" He asks, picking your son up. "If I take him somewhere you can't hear us and tell him all teach him all the pranks he coule play on you, how are you gonna stop us?"

"Like this!" You shout, shooting up and running towards them to grab them.

"Daddy run!" Your son screams and Beomgyu doesn’t hesitate, taking off into the garden with you hot on their heels, guided by the sound of your son's tinkling laughter.

"You'll never take us alive!" Beomgyu shouts back at you, and you don't miss a bit. "Makes no difference to me."

"Daddy, she's gonna kill us."

"Don't worry, baby, I have an idea." Beomgyu tells your son breathlessly, and heads towards the lake.

"Beomgyu, don't you dare!" You shout at his back but he doesn’t listen to you, running towards the water and jumping it, wading further into it with your son tucked against his chest.

"Twenty years later and you’re still jumping into the dirty water and ruining your nice clothes. You never change, huh?" You scold Beomgyu, no heat behind your words and Beomgyu shakes his head.

"No way. Not when I have a new partner in crime." He lets go of your son who swims in circles around him. "Come on, join us for old times' sake."

"Yes, mommy, come in. The water is so nice."

"I don't know. I don't want to get all wet." You hesitate. The water does look nice but you don't feel like getting your clothes soggy and having to go back home to take a bath.

As you think, you pay no mind to Beomgyu swimming closer to you until you’re within the splashing zone and then pelting you with water, drenching your clothes.

"Well, you're already wet." He shrugs, an easy devious smile on his face that mirrors his son's earlier one.

"Oh, now I'm really gonna get you." You growl, jumping into the water and chasing after your husband, your son's excited screams flying up into the heavens

#ahhhhh i can't believe i wrote this so fast #that's how much i miss yamqn too #this is not cannon btw #this is what could've been #mort talks #yamqn

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and I) | Part 1

Word Count: 5.9k

Genre: smut, angst

Summary: When you first met your boyfriend, it was love at first sight. No, more than that. It was love before you even met. It felt like you had known each other in another life and were meant to find each other again. 

But that's not actually true, is it? You and Beomgyu don't actually know each other from another life, and the dreams you've been having aren't memories of your past life either. That's ridiculous. 

But then why does Beomgyu get so defensive about them? And why does each dream feel more real than the one before? 

A/N: this is the sequel to my series YAMQN but I'm trying to write it in a way that it would be comprehensible to people who have never read YAMQN. The parts in italic are the dreams. 

Warnings: fucking on furniture, orgasm control, premature ejaculation, masturbation, PIV sex, toxic relationships.

“Stay home” Beomgyu holds you from behind, kissing your neck

“We can’t. I’ve canceled on them too many times now.” You whine. Beomgyu keeps doing this. Every time you try to hang out with your friends he pouts and whines until you stay home with him. It was cute at first–how he couldn’t get enough of you–but now your friends are actually getting pissed at the both of you. 

“But I missed you.” You can feel his pout on your skin as his lips brush over it. 

“We hang out every day. We live together!” You protest, but you’re unable to keep the chuckle from your voice.

“I know but that’s not what I mean.” He mumbles cryptically and you turn your head towards him. “Then what do you mean?” 

He flushes and buries his face in the crook of your neck so you wouldn’t see him. “Never mind. It’s stupid”

You grab his long hair, gently lifting his head up so you can lock eyes with him. “No, tell me.”

He lets out a shaky sigh. “It’s just… you ever feel like you and someone else are two halves of the same soul and you’ve spent and will spend all your lifetimes trying to reunite with them and when you finally do, you just can’t bear to let go?”

You’re rendered speechless by his impassioned, if self-conscious, speech because it captured exactly what you’ve always felt about him but was too scared to say in case you scare him off. 

You met Beomgyu while at work at the coffee shop at the local mall around christmas time last year. You spotted this adorable guy in front of your store dressed in the most ridiculous teddy bear sweater you’ve ever seen, collecting donations to buy toys for the kids at the local shelters. You fell for him at first sight and wherever he’d show up, you’d spend your entire shift stealing glances at him to the point that even your coworkers noticed. You couldn’t get over how sweet what he was doing was and you so badly wanted to go up to him and tell him that but you didn’t want to come across as a weirdo. It was only after your coworkers’ incessant nagging that you finally mustered up the courage to go up to him, hot drink in hand, offering it to him and telling him how much you admired what he was doing and how cute he his sweater was. 

The conversation flowed much more easily than you could have ever anticipated–almost like you two were meant to be–and from then on it became your daily routine to bring him a cup of coffee during your break and have a chat with him until you were yelled at by your boss for taking too long. 

And when Christmas day was fast approaching and the both of you knew he wouldn’t be there much longer, a snarky comment from your boss finally brought the two of you together and forced you to get over your trepidation. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. She likes you. He likes you. She finishes her shift at 6. Come pick her up. She likes sunflowers.” 

And that is how you and Beomgyu started dating. 

“Well now I can't go.” You lament, and he smiles radiantly, victorious. 

God your friends are gonna be so mad.

But it’s hard to think about that when his lips are attached to your neck, sucking at your most sensitive spots as he grinds his dick into your ass. 

“You look so sexy in that dress.” He murmurs wantonly, groping your tits coarsely over said dress. 

“Careful or you’re gonna blow your load on my ass.” You tease, referring to the first time you two got intimate. He was so excited then that he ended up cumming just from a little grinding. He’s lucky he’s so cute and that you found his enthusiasm endearing because if any other guy had cum so prematurely like that, you would’ve probably kicked his ass out the door. But also he ended up eating you out for the rest of the night until your legs turned into jelly to make it up to you, so it wasn’t too bad. 

Beomgyu pulls your dress down over your tits so he can play with them directly as he sucks on the skin of your neck, and you can feel your arousal begin to build up between your legs. 

"Beomgyu…" 

"My sensitive baby." He chuckles, index fingers flicking your nipples. You squeeze your thighs together in need and push your ass back against his cock pointedly. "Fuck me, Beomgyu."

It doesn’t take much prompting to get Beomgyu to give in. He has always been needy for you and today was no different. He pushes you against the table, flipping the skirt of your dress up and pulling your underwear out of the way before he pushes himself inside you, filling you up so perfectly as if he was made for you. 

“Oh, Beomgyu…” You gasp, clawing at the wooden surface of the table. This is hardly new to you. Beomgyu has fucked you on every surface of this house, many times. He's insatiable. He just can't get enough of you, and neither you him. 

“Baby, I don’t think I will last long.” He grunts into your ear and you chuckle breathlessly. “Of course not. You never could resist my pussy, huh?”

“No.” He shakes his head, driving his cock into you harshly. 

“Then cum. Show me how much you need me.” 

“Fuck, I do. I do, baby.” He groans, pressing his hips flush against your ass as he empties his seed inside of you. 

“Well, that was quick.” You giggle when he catches his breath and he whines, flipping you over on your back and pulling your thighs up against your body. You know what’s coming next. Beomgyu can never leave you unsatisfied and when he finishes too early like this he usually makes it up to you by giving you the best oral of your life. 

But when he sees his cum dripping out of your swollen pussy, he stops and stares, almost hypnotized by the sight, and a far away look takes over his face. 

"What?" You ask, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Nothing."

“Do you like seeing me dripping with your seed? Are you thinking of knocking me up?” You tease, and his head snaps up to look at you at a neck-breaking speed, a horrified look on his face. 

Fuck, did you read the situation wrong? Why did you say that? You don’t know why you said that!

Actually you do. You had another one of your dreams today–the ones where Beomgyu is a prince and you’re a lady at court and you’re in love. Beomgyu doesn’t like hearing about them much. He calls them silly and always brushes them off, not wanting to hear about them. But his lack of enthusiasm doesn’t stop you from having them, and each one feels more real than the other, as if it had actually happened. As if you were recalling memories of a previous life. And the latest dream was no different. 

"Our children are not going to want for anything.” Dream Beomgyu says, hand splayed protectively over your tummy. 

“What?” Real-life Beomgyu sputters, and you explain yourself shyly, sitting up and covering yourself as you chuckle nervously. “I just… I had a dream that I was pregnant with your baby. You know, when you were a prince…” 

But Beomgyu doesn’t share your laughter. His face immediately hardens and his reaction this time surpasses mere distaste and veers into anger.. “I was never a prince. None of your dreams ever happened. They’re just meaningless dreams. Don’t be stupid.” 

"Stupid?" You draw back at the sudden outburst. 

"Yes. The whole prince thing is stupid. You need to get out of your head and come back to reality. The whimsical, superstitious act is not cute anymore." He snaps, far too much vitriol in his voice for such a silly topic.

"Why are you being such an ass? Would it hurt you to just listen and laugh with me? Or is the idea of us having a baby together so appalling to you?" You don’t know why you’re going so hard to defend your dreams or why he feels the need to tear them down, but you can’t ignore the sudden shift after he heard you mention the possibility of having a child together, and his answering laugh cuts you deep.

"You don't know anything." Beomgyu says, getting cryptic like he always gets whenever you talk about your dreams. Usually you’d let it go, but not this time. Not when he was so disgusted with the idea of having a child with you.  

"Don't know what?" You ask, frustrated. “That you find the thought of having a child with me so appalling?”

"I don't want to talk about this right now."

Of course, he never wants to talk about it. He always runs away whenever the topic of discussion gets too serious for his liking. For a guy who is so self-proclaimed obsessed with you, he sure does work hard to avoid these meaningful talks. Well, if he wants to avoid it so bad then you’ll make it easy for him. 

"Fine." You hop off the table and go to the bathroom to clean yourself up and change your underwear before going back out, intending to leave the apartment to get some fresh air and most importantly, to get away from Beomgyu. 

But Beomgyu has other ideas, following you at every step like a second shadow, and when he sees you going for the door, he steps in between you and it. "Where are you going?"

"Out."

"I'm coming with you." He states decidedly and you can’t keep the snort out of your mouth. He always does this. He always makes decisions for you. Well, not this time. "No. I need space." 

But he shakes his head firmly. "You're angry. I don't want to let you go angry."

Beomgyu always hated parting from you on bad terms. He always needed to make sure everything was okay before he let you out of his sight. It was sweet at first. You might’ve even considered it healthy at some point, but right now it’s driving you up the wall. Arguments can't always be resolved on the spot, especially when one party refuses to even talk, and so forcing you to be together just ends up with you lashing out because you can't blow off steam. 

But Beomgyu doesn’t care. He just doesn't want you out of his sight. 

"Beomgyu, for fuck's sake, get out of my way. I don’t want to be around you right now." 

"You know I can't let you go angry." He reiterates as if that is a necessity you had to cave to. 

"You're going to have to learn to. If you won’t talk to me then you have to at least give me some space.”

“I can’t.”

“You have to.” You shout, angry and fed up with him. “I don't know what the fuck happened to you in the past to traumatize you like this, because god knows you refuse to tell me, but I can’t coddle you about it anymore. I need to take a breather and I don’t care if you–”

"I lost a baby before." He utters softly but it was deafening to you. 

"What?" 

“Me and my ex, we had a baby on the way but I lost both of them. That’s why the idea of having a baby freaks me out so much. I can’t handle losing another one. I can’t handle losing you.… it’s just–it’s–” He starts tearing and stuttering his words, looking distraught as he attempts to explain himself to you, and you feel absolutely wretched for doubting him. You’re such a fucking bitch for forcing him to reveal this to you, but you’re also selfishly glad he did. Even this tiny sliver of his past is much needed context to explain the man you love so dearly. 

“I—I don’t know what to say.” You pathetically utter after an exorbitant amount of time, never having expected such a revelation. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

You take him into your arms and he sobs against you, holding onto you tightly. "I want to have a child with you. Nothing would make me happier. You have no idea. But I'm just too scared." 

“It’s okay, baby. I don’t want to have a child right now. We can talk about it again in the future. We’ll work it out together, okay?” You pull back slightly–not stepping out of his tight embrace, not that he would’ve let you–and take his face into your hands, wiping his tears off. 

He nods pitifully. “Okay.” 

You should’ve left it at that. He’s in a bad state. You should be comforting him right now, but you’re selfish and this might be the only time he’ll open up to you, and now you have to know. 

"Did… did you love her?" 

"With all my heart." He doesn’t hesitate in answering and you feel a pang of jealousy towards his deceased lover. How fucked up, is that? "More than me?"

He is quiet for a while and every second that passes in silence tears your heart apart. 

"There is no one I love more than you." He finally says and you let out a sigh of relief that was entirely too obvious. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I’m being such a bitch. I’m jealous of a dead girl, how crazy is that?” You ramble nervously, but Beomgyu stops you with a kiss. 

“That’s okay, baby. I know you don’t mean it like that.” He reassures you and you sigh in relief once more. He never judges you for the messed up thoughts you sometimes get. He always understands and emphasizes and that’s part of the reason why you love him so much. 

Still you keep the rest of your questions about her to yourself. It must be a sore subject for him given how he was so protective of it before. The only thing you need to know right now is that you’re the love of his life, not her, not anyone else. You.

____________________

“He’s not trying to keep me away from you. He’s just really clingy. No, he’s not manipulating me–” Your heated defense of your boyfriend is cut off when you spot said boyfriend standing in the doorway of the kitchen where you had been taking your friend’s call so he wouldn’t overhear it. Well, so much for that.

“Oh shit, I'll call you back.” You mutter to your friend and end the call, cutting off the protests on the other line. 

“Was that Yunjin?” He asks and you nod guiltily. Yunjin doesn’t like Beomgyu. She made that very clear to the point that despite you not telling him, he knows it well. 

“She’s just being Yunjin. Don’t mind her.” You try to smooth things over but he shakes his head. “No, it’s my fault. I’m not helping things by keeping you all to myself. It’s just because I love being with you so much, you know that right?”

“I know, baby.” You walk towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love spending time with you too–hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t you come along? It would be killing two birds with one stone, hanging out with my friends while still being with you. And it’s been so long since they’ve last seen you. I’m sure once they get a look at your cute face, they’d forget all their reservations.” 

You laugh, but Beomgyu looks nervous. “I don’t know. They don’t really like me anymore.” 

“Because they don’t see much of you and you’re taking over all my attention. If they see more of you, they’d fall in love with you all over again.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure. You’re irresistible, puppy.” 

_________________________________________

And just like you said, things go well. After your friends get over the initial annoyance that you brought Beomgyu along, they start warming up to him once the conversation starts flowing and Beomgyu’s radiant personality shines through. You’ve even caught Yunjin crack a smile or two at his antics. 

But all your high hopes come crashing down when another person joins your party. The stranger’s name is Taehyun, and he’s apparently the new roommate of one of your friends, which is fine enough, he seems like a nice guy and you’ve always welcomed new additions to your group. 

Beomgyu on the other hand, must feel differently, because as soon as Taehyun joins you, his whole demeanor shifts and he becomes closed off and snappy, getting mean with his comments that were all seemingly directed at the newcomer. It was starting to ruin the mood, making your friends mad again, and so when he makes yet another snarky remark to something Taehyun innocuously said, you have to pull him aside and ask him what his problem is. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Beomgyu? My friends were just starting to warm up to you again. Why are you being such a dick?” 

“I want to go home. I don’t feel very good.” He lies, and you know it’s a lie because he doesn’t sell it very well, glaring daggers at the table where your friends are seated.

“Then go home.” You snap, having little remaining patience for his behavior. 

He gives you a look of betrayal. “You know I can’t leave without you.” 

“You’re going to have to if you can’t act like a fucking adult. The reason I invited you is because I wanted to help smooth things over between you and my friends. I wanted to prove to them that you’re not the manipulative asshole they think you are, but honestly the way you’re acting right now, makes me wonder if maybe they are right and–”

“No they’re not.” He cuts you off, lips tightly pressed together. “Fine, we'll stay.” 

“Beomgyu…” You eye him with doubt but he insists. “I’m fine. Let's go.” 

He drags you back to the table and you stop your protests so your friends can’t hear it. 

Beomgyu is quiet for a while, which doesn’t make for pleasant company, but at least he’s not being an asshole. Well, not for a bit anyway. Because once Taehyun mentions he’s looking for a job and you tell him that your place of work is hiring, Beomgyu starts acting up again.  

“I’m sure he doesn’t want to work as a barista, honey.” Beomgyu speaks over you, but Taehyun rebuts him. “I do. The hours sound good for a student like me and the work doesn’t sound too hard. It’s perfect.”

Once again, Beomgyu speaks instead of you. “But you seem like an intelligent guy. Surely serving coffee to other people would be embarrassing for you.”

“What the hell, Beomgyu?” You hiss, mortified at his implication, and in front of all your friends too. Is that what he really thinks? Does he think your job is embarrassing?

“I just mean that he could be doing something else.” 

“And what does that make me? A loser who isn’t good for anything except serving people coffee, a job you apparently think is humiliating for someone intelligent to have?” 

“You’re overthinking it, baby. I didn’t mean–”

“Oh, I didn’t think my dumb brain was capable of overthinking.” You laugh tearfully, and stand up before your friends could see you cry. “Excuse me.” 

You storm out of the restaurant and Beomgyu follows after you. 

“Baby!” 

You whip around and scream at him. “If you think what I do is so demeaning then why are you even with me?”

“I don’t think that.” He denies vehemently, “I just didn’t want him to work with you. I got bad vibes from that dude.” 

"Not this again.” You groan. Of course this is why he was behaving in such a bizarre and rude manner. Beomgyu is a jealous guy. You tried reassuring him a million times that he’s the only guy for you but to no avail. He gets paranoid and thinks every guy you interact with will steal you away from him, and here he is doing it again. “Are you seriously fucking jealous of a guy I don’t even know?"

“I am not jealous.” He tries to deny, badly. “I told you I got bad vibes from him.”

“Bad vibes?” You laugh hysterically. “If bad vibes are all it takes then I would’ve broken up with you long ago because all my friends got bad vibes from you.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Your friends hate me. They’ll say anything to tear us apart. I bet they even invited that guy just to piss me off.” 

"Oh my god, are you listening to yourself? You’re so–ugh, just please leave me alone, Beomgyu." You try to walk away from him but he quickly reaches out and grabs you by the arm, turning you around to face him, freaked out. "No, please stay."

"Let me go, Beomgyu." You demand, your anger bubbling to dangerous level but Beomgyu stand firm. “No. You can’t leave me.”

“Let me go.” 

“No.” 

“I’m serious, Beomgyu. Leave me the fuck alone.” 

“No.”

You can’t help it. He’s driving you insane, and you can’t hold back anymore. You slap him. 

But you immediately regret it when you see the red mark beginning to bloom across his cheek. 

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. You just drive me–" He kisses you passionately, holding onto you even tighter. 

"Do anything you want to me, I don’t mind. Just don't leave me." He breathes against your lips, eyes looking crazed in their desperation. 

God, this is sick. You shouldn’t entertain this kind of twisted trade-off. You should push him away and demand he leave you be. You shouldn’t take him up on his offer to let you unload your frustrations physically onto him. Maybe you should even end it…

But you can’t. You’re as invested in this as he is. You don’t want to break up with him. You don’t want to leave him. You just want to punish him for the crazy way he’s behaving. You want to feel like you’re not letting him get away with this without actually having to break up with him .

And so you accept his sick offer.

_______________________________

"You're so pathetic, Beomgyu." 

He shudders at your words, and you don’t know if he likes it or hates it. All you know is he tries to reach out to you but his hands are held back by the bindings you’ve fashioned out of your scarves. 

He cries out for you but you have no mercy for him. This is the punishment he chose for himself and you’ll be damned if you don’t make the most of it. 

“You’ve really pissed me off this time, Beomgyu. Acted so crazy just so I wouldn’t leave you. Well, now you get to sit back and watch me fuck myself and you can do nothing about it.” You taunt him as you ride the dildo you have strapped around his abdomen, his own cock brushing up against your ass every time you move, getting enough stimulation to keep him hard but not nearly enough to get him off. 

"Please, sit on my cock. It feels better than that plastic toy. I'm all hard and ready for you. Ride me, please. Cum on my dick. Use me instead of that toy." He babbles, but you don’t listen. 

You want to make him suffer, and you’re scared to dwell too long on where that emotion comes from. You love your boyfriend. You’ve never wanted to hurt him before, but he really pushed you too far this time. 

"You did this. You’re making me do this to you. You’re being a terrible boyfriend." 

"No, don’t say that.” He shakes his head vehemently, getting teary. “I'm sorry. I’ll do anything to make it better. Whatever you want." 

"Will you let him work with me?" You hazard to ask and his face immediately transforms. "No." 

You scoff–so much for being apologetic–and ride the dildo faster, moaning out loud just to piss him off. You see him struggling and feel him trying to buck his hips against you but he can’t accomplish much more than his cock just grazing your ass. 

Still, you can feel the wetness from the precum touching your skin. “You’re fucking ridiculous.” 

“You just don’t know what you are to me.” He counters, leaving you speechless. One thing about Beomgyu is that he will never fail to tell you just how much you mean to him. It’s why you’ve always been so weak when it comes to him. 

But that doesn’t mean you can’t punish him for his behavior. “Clearly not much if you don’t even trust me to work with him.” 

“You don’t know.” He insists, but doesn’t deny your claim which pisses you off even more. 

“Don’t know what? That you think I’ll cheat on you if given the slightest chance? Is that something she did to you? Is that why you’re so fucked up?”

His silence is all you need to know, and you don’t know if you should feel bad for him that the woman he loved so much cheated on him, or angry that he assumes you would do the same just because she did. 

“Fuck you, Beomgyu.” The two emotions mix together and fuel you further, and you put your hand between your legs to touch yourself, getting yourself off if only just to spite him, knowing how much he needs to always be the cause of your pleasure. 

“Baby, please.” He begs, seeing you inch closer to your end, and it’s killing him that he’s not the reason for it. Little does he know that his desperation and blinding need for you is the greatest contributor to your impending fall over the edge. 

But you don’t let him know that, jumping erratically on the dildo and attacking your poor clit with your fingers, sending yourself off on the most emotionally exhausting orgasm of your life. 

“Baby…” You can hear him whimper pitifully in the background, his shape blurry in front of you as you fight off your own tears. “Baby…”

“What is it?” You hiss after your orgasm passes, anger finally overpowering the lust. “Do you want to cum? Is that what you’re concerned about? Your dick?”

“That’s not it.” He tries to deny it but you’re already untying him. And despite his denial, as soon as his hands are free, he tries to reach out to grab you but you take his hands and forcefully pull them off your body. He tries to fight you but you hiss sharply at him, "Stay." 

He whimpers but listens, and when he looks like he won’t go back on his words, you let go of his hands. "Touch yourself."

"I want you to touch me." He whines and you slap his thigh. "You don't get to make demands. Not after the way you behaved in front of my friends. You embarrassed me!"

"I'm sorry." He mewls, one hand going to his dick and the other playing with his nipples, putting on a show for you, needing to gain your favor once again. Which is precisely why you lean over him to grab your phone from the night stand and unlock it, pretending to be scrolling through it as he jerks off. 

“Baby!” He protests heatedly, reaching out to touch you. Beomgyu fucking hates it when you don’t give him any attention. He withers without it.  

“Did I say you could touch me?” You seethe, not bothering to take his hands off this time, opting instead to intimidate him into it, and thankfully he retracts his hands at your tone as if it had burned him. 

“Keep jerking off.” You instruct, and as soon as he does, you go back to looking at your phone. 

"Look at me." He whines, but doesn’t stop this time. You can hear the wet sounds of his hand moving over his cock and see the movement out of the corner of your eyes.

“Please.” 

You ignore him. 

“Just look at me.” 

You keep looking at your phone. 

"Princess…."

You snap your head up, narrowing your eyes at him. He never called you that. In fact, he almost makes it a point not to call you that so he wouldn’t “feed into your prince delusion”. So for him to say that right now was really low. Not that Beomgyu cared, as long as he had your attention. 

"Yeah, yeah, that's it." He moans, thrusting into his fist.

Maybe it's sick. Maybe you're enabling his behavior but god, was it so sexy to have him so completely obsessed with you that just your gaze is enough to get him off. 

“Is this what you want, Beomgyu? For me to look at you and see how you’re such a pathetic slut that you can’t even get off without me giving you my attention?” 

Beomgyu doesn’t even try to deny it, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes. Never want you to look away from me. I missed you so much.” He hiccups, thrusting up into his tight fist. 

Here he goes again, talking about how much he misses you. You’re sure if you spend every single second of your life with him he’d still complain about missing you. You can’t call him out too much on it though–not when you feel the same, not when you thrive on it. 

“Can I cum?” Beomgyu asks breathlessly and you sneer down at him. “No.” 

He lets out a heart-broken moan, hand clenching at your thigh. “No. Please. Need to cum.”

"You don't deserve it. Stop." You say cooly, and he wails. "Please. I need to cum. I can’t–I can’t.”

His voice gets high and breathy, strung out, but you don’t care. No, you relish in it, knowing what you’ll make him do next. "Stop."

He cries out, shaking his head violently, not stopping. "No. No. I need it."

You can see how close he is. You can see his cock flushing red, his balls tightening and his precum pouring out of his head. You have to put a stop to it, physically removing his hands yourself, but as soon as you touch him he loses it, staining your belly with his cum. 

"Ah--ah--oh god–please touch me–please." He bucks his hips in the air, unable to reach you, and cries, tears pouring down his face. "I love you. I love you. Please use me. Please don't leave me.” 

You've never been this rough with Beomgyu and for a second you wonder if you're going too far, but he looks so fucked out by the way you’re being mean to him that you can’t back down now.

Still he is your sweetheart. He’ll always be your sweetheart and you can’t bear to see him in such distress, even if he brought it onto himself with his jealous and obsessive ways.

"Hush, Beomgyu." You murmur, grabbing his dick and jerking him off. He gasps from the overstimulation, his hooded eyes blowing wide as he grabs onto the sheets, but he doesn’t stop you, thrusting his hips up into your grip instead. 

"Ah–oh fuck–AHH–" 

"Cum for me, Beomgyu." Your hand blurs over his cock, wet slapping sounds filling the room as your fist collides with his balls on each downstroke. 

"Yes–princess–all for you." If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve found the sound of him calling you ‘princess’ the most natural thing in the world. As if he had always done it. As if he truly believes it. 

But it’s all just to get you to give him what he wants, and sadly, it works. You’re as weak for him as he is for you. It’s unhealthy–is what your friends have told you after his charms have worn off in their eyes, but you fear it would never wear off for you. You’re absolutely, sickeningly in love with him and that’s why you’ll always make excuses to let him do the crazy things he does to you and for you. 

And the things you do to him. 

Beomgyu looks spent after his orgasm and he tries to pull you down in his arms to cuddle, but you stop him. 

"Wait a second." You say, grabbing a few tissues and wiping yourselves off. 

His hold on you remains so tight you feel his heart beat furiously against your chest. "I'm sorry for what I’ve said. I just don't want you to work with him."

You look up at him, mind a little clearer now that you’re all wrapped up in his warmth, feeling safe in his embrace. 

"I will work with him. You need to get over your jealousy. I've had enough." You inform him simply. Yes, you’ve done nothing but entertain his delusions so far, but it’s high time for you to starting actually doing something about it. You know you’ll only be ruining yourself later if you don’t. Who knows what he’ll demand next if you let this go. For you to not talk to other men? To stop seeing your friends who are trying to tear you apart? To quit your job so you’d always be around him? No, you have to put your foot down now. 

Beomgyu looks so pissed off at what you’ve said, but he doesn’t say anything. He just holds you tightly, burying his face in your neck and gripping onto you so hard, you’re sure his fingers will leave marks. That’s fine. You’ll just wear something to cover the bruises. Just as long as you make this work. 

________________________________________

That night, you have another dream about prince Beomgyu, but this time a new character makes an appearance, and that is Lord Taehyun. 

"What are you doing here?" Dream Beomgyu bursts into your room, finding you and Taehyun together. 

"I came to visit the lady." Taehyun’s demeanor appears relaxed but you can see the tension around the edges of his mouth.

"Beomgyu, relax–" You try to calm him down, and he turns on you. "How long has he been here? Did he do anything to you?" 

“No, we just talked!” You snap, trying to yank your hand back from him but his grip is bruisingly-tight.“How did he get in?” 

“That’s none of your business.” You refuse to tell him but that just sets him off.

“You are my business.” He shouts, making Taehyun get up, “Let her go. You’re hurting her.” 

“Fuck you.” Beomgyu was becoming aggressive, and Taehyun looked quite on edge himself. You knew you had to be the one to de-escalate this situation before it exploded so you step closer to Beomgyu and hiss in his ear. “Get a grip, Beomgyu.” You hiss lowly at him then turn to Taehyun with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Taehyun. I need to talk to Beomgyu privately.” 

The dream ends there, and when you wake up in the morning, you make no mention of it to Beomgyu.

_____________________

A/N: Well its' finally here folks. Don't know how many chapter this will be but I hope you like it anyway.

#txt smut #beomgyu smut #sub!reader #dom!reader #sub!idol #dom!idol #female reader #afab reader

[wildernessuntothemselves]

I finished the yamqn series two weeks ago and I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DIED 😭😭 like everything they had is gone i miss them so much it HURTS it can't end like this please tell me they are just sleeping and there will be a different ending im brockkenn helpp

+you're really talented i love your writing sm also how all the characters in the series are my biases and the playlist have my favorite songs made me more obsessed

i know it hurt me too but it had to be done. there were multiple endings i entertained but i felt like this one just made the most sense. just oc finally being selfless and not letting gyu destroy the one person who tried to help her, and gyu killing her when he realized he'd be losing her and he just can't bear for that to happen.

thank you so much babe. that fic was just a product of love and it means so much to me that you like it that much.

#mort talks #yamqn

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hi~♡ please allow me to me to rank and analyze the entire list of writing propositions you put out while I avoid the last chapter of yamqn because I am keeping it to a moment when I can create the perfect atmosphere to read it properly.

1° werewolf!txt au full fic - that one is a little special to me cause the basis for that one was the first of your writings I ever came across

2° necromancer!oc and TaeGyu - the plot just sounds really really interesting and I love the little touch of classic horror and morbid themes i am getting from this one. that hint of a 70's horror sexploitation vibe

3° teaching your best friend Gyu how to fuck full fic - how not to love this one? it's guaranteed quality enjoyment. THE safe bet

4° bear!hybrid Gyu - the little excerpt you posted a while ago got me mad you ended it there. I want more. and bears are very much to my liking in hybrid fic for the contrast of being stupidly fluffy and cute but at the same time deadly dangerous

5° puppy!gyu getting teased by kitten you full fic - love how the synopsis basically implies that we are the pet's pet 💀. aside from that it's a perv!gyu fic with a bonus of fluffy ears and tails.

6° fox hybrid!Jun and owner!Bin - the synopsis got me interested in the dynamics with yeonjun. the idea of him being a arrogant fox for being highly desired and at the same time a cheap overused sex toy for rent... sublime.

7° puppy hybrid!Gyu and best friend kitty!Oc

8° YAMQN priest sequel - let's go sexy priest! the religious macabre is a special kind of subtle horror aesthetic, I love it... the juxtaposition of divine and corrupt, salvation and oppression, inconditional love and eternal existential doom (yes, I was raised catholic lol)

9° YAMQN barista sequel - it has potential, but I feel like something is missing. maybe it's the word barista that is tricking me into seeing this as more basic than it really is.

10° yandere soulmates TaeGyu - for some reason the synopsis reminded me of another fic that had a very similar theme, I really did not enjoy reading that one. I mean, if anyone can do it right it's probably you but I don't know

11° arranged marriage prince!Gyu - I don't think I will be able to read a prince!gyu fic and NOT think of yamqn for a while

12° perv!Soobin - too close to the cannon version of him I have in my brain 💀 (sorry, soobin biased people... don't take that as offense please)

13° senior Oc and yandere!tyun - when I was reading the title the first thing that came to mind was "senior oc" as in senior citizen Oc! straight up retired rich old lady Oc with her young hunk trophy husband that only married her for her money and is secretly trying to murder her... now I want the version I imagined more than the one you propositioned lol

14° stepbro!Tyun full story - not my type of porn category. as someone with giant frankstein of a family tree that has more divorces and remarriages than people... it's a bit uncomfortable.

15° best of the best - not txt

16° high stakes - found myself frowning while reading the prompt for some reason

17° ceo son!leeknow - not txt. and every fanfic that features a ceo or ceo son as the romantic interest reminds of fifty shades 💀 so no thanks

(I already voted on the poll hihi)

~♡anon

good idea. i honestly haven't even read it again after posting it (which i usually do to give myself perspective on what the hell i just did) because i'm scared lmao. let me comment on your comments

so many people came to my blog from that fic wow it's honestly so surprising as that fic was almost like an afterthought that i didn't really expect to get back to

yup we love horror sexploitation in this house lmao. though i'd definitely need ideas on where to take the fic as other than the original premise and the dynamics between the characters, i don't know here to ultimately take it

definitely a safe bet. fluffy smutty goodness

i love this much a lot too but my only reservation is that it's pretty similar to the yandere puppy gyu cabin fic i recently posted. both involve oc getting tricked into mating with her crazy best friend

it is a perv!gyu fic and it is soooo cute. weirdly enough it's inspired by this video of a real life cat and dog lmao

this one was an ooooold request but yes owner soobin basically degrading jun for being an overpriced dildo and jun being offended that this dumb vixen isn't falling for him like all the other vixens is just yum

exactly lmao

this one can go alright or be super dark and disturbing depending on the version you guys choose (if this option even gets chosen)

oh believe me there is nothing basic about it. that's just a front to lull you into a false sense of security before unleashing the classic gyu moves of manipulation and gaslighting and convincing reader she's insane as the story gradually devolves

oh this is actually inspired by one of my favorite fics that i've read. give it a read i'm sure you'd love it too

fair enough, but this gyu is super sweet and adorable

i fail to see the issue 😌😂

lmao i'm all for older readers (since i'm older than all the boys) but not to the level of senior citizen lmao. but i did think of making a sugar mommy au

makes sense. i never had a step sibling so i don't share the same trauma lmao

😂😂😂😂

really? it's actually more of that campy sexploitation horror than even number two since it's inspired by an episode of buffy the vampire slayer

tbf i was considering changing it to gyu (because ofc I would) and it's nothing like fifty shades of grey at all. it's peak bratty sub idol and oc putting him in his place

#mort talks #♡anon

[wildernessuntothemselves]

personally, assigning morality to fiction is a slippery slope. of course tyun has the moral high ground over gyu in yamqn, but oc also doesn’t have any frame of reference of love and morality in relationships is, so of course she’s not really capable of making a true choice between the two.

it would be out of character for her to take what’s best for her into account, because it’s not anything she was ever taught to do. people don’t come preloaded with the idea of what love should feel like when it’s done right, it’s a learned skill. and oc was only ever taught to be used, and to get the most she can out of those using her. gyu was the closest person to ever showing her that she is valued, as twisted as that value is, so i can see why she misses him and the feeling of being “loved.”

and as to gyu himself, what is his frame of reference for what love is? his parents are clearly not an ideal couple, and while he has siblings, that’s not really the same, is it? what does a prince who has never known relations outside of being used and manipulated himself (his mother and sister aside) understand about loving in a moral way?

and then we get to tyun, who lives with constant burden, telling himself that he has to remain strong in the face of every circumstance, who was only ever taught pain and abuse. he isn’t capable of loving freely, is he?

while as a reader, we can assign morality, we are stepping out of the immersion of the story. these characters can learn and grow, of course, but through whom? everyone is twisted in some way in this story, by circumstance or by the simple fact of it being a different time and a different world. that’s the beauty of having conflict in a work of fiction, seeing how each character reacts and how they grow (or regress!) from it.

anyways, tldr of all these run on sentences, these characters are not the reader, and you’re unfolding a story of pain and uncertainty in a beautiful way that is true to the world you’ve built. -🖤

Ugh thank you so much for this nuanced take. I couldn't ask for more as a writer honestly. You understand the characters and understand the context they operate in. Yeah a lot of us nowadays know what toxic relationships look like but for these characters they don't. Honestly even for us modern humans, I have had to explain to my male friend that the relationship he is in is toxic because he couldn't see it and me and my family had to intervene with one of my brother's relationships along with his friends just to point out to him that he is in a very abusive relationship and he should leave it despite the other person's manipulations. And that's in modern time, imagine what these characters are going through, they don't know shit about this. Toxic relationships are the norm.

For OC most of her contemporaries would think she's being too much either with gyu or with tyun. With gyu they'd say that she had the prince willing to give her anything she wanted so she should've taken it and with tyun they would’ve dismissed her need for love because he provides for her and protects her so what more could she want?

OC herself would see that she could either get love with Beomgyu or respect with taehyun and that it's impossible to have both. And gyu wouldn't think much of her bring his concubine because he's doing her a service, isn't he? He's giving her way more than she would've ever gotten with anyone else. Tyun too would think that he saved her from her captor and gave her the independence she wanted so why is she fishing for emotions right now?

Idk I'm a bit tipsy so maybe I don't make sense but your point about the context of their lives and the time period is so so important. Readers are judging them according to modern standards when these characters operate in a very different system. That's why gyu's father is so against oc because he doesn't understand why his son is fighting so hard for a low born noble. And why tyun is struggling so hard to be sweet with her because that was never expected of him (plus his other issues). And why oc feels like she has to choose between love and respect.

#really thank you so much for this #you get the story 😭 #mort talks #yamqn #🖤 anon

[wildernessuntothemselves]

That smut spoiler has me sweating wthh. Also sub to switch to dom tyun OMG. Couldn't have asked for anything better. But I miss my lil diaper yandere.

Oh and yes I just finished reading that 52 chapters which has like 20k words each and is still ongoing fic. I know you said its too much for you but the smut scenes OMG. I was drooling the whole time. The plot, story , slow burn and characters oof. I was in literal bliss for a few weeks. Yamqn now has a new competition for "my fav fic"

-🌶️

I miss my diaper yandere too 😭 we'll see him soon hopefully but if we are to see him then that can't be good for tyunnie right? 🥺

We might see wonyoung next chapter though 😏 which is a surprise even for me 😂

that's insane 😭 i bow down to that author just for virtue of me never being able to have the discipline to write such a humungous fic even if i got paid for it. i mean i'm suffering from how big yamqn and it's nowhere near that length 😂

#still a little jealous though #imma be like idols #'don't look at other authors' #lmao #mort talks #yamqn #🌶️ anon

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hello I'm back idek after how long. I am opening this app after so long and the first thing I did was catch up with all the asks and spoilers. OMG so much is happening. I've been reading this one Jungkook fic and omgg I am literally obsessed with it. Every chapter has like 15-21k words and it currently has 52 chapters and still ongoing. But I still miss yamqn so much. My diaper yandere gyu and lord ruthless tyun. OC my girl I feel so sorry for you I think I am about to cry. Àlso Beomgyu's reaction when he sees oc again? I don't think he will go batshit crazy. He has not been away form her for more than a few hours and after he meets her for the first time in months?! Yeah he would crazy grab, snatch, cry. Something about gyu is he very much used to act on impulse*coughs* idk how he's so calm and making a fullproof plan of getting oc back and not just exercising his prince powers and taking tyun down then and there. I missed you too mort and sorry for being so inactive. I hope you are doing okay 💋

-🌶️

welcome back babe! and don't worry about being inactive we all have our real lives to get to 😊

i was gonna ask you to mention the fic name but nahhh fam 52 chapters is insane i have a very short attention span lol

diaper yandere 😭 shut up that is the perfect description for him

yeah he was never away from her for more than a few hours before this is just unprecedented for him and he's going insane 😭

honestly he has no choice but to work on his plan because his father won't let him just roll up to tyun's castle and take her 😕

#mort talks #yamqn #🌶️ anon

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Q for gyu ~ what’s your favourite thing about oc’s lookswise and your favourite thing not lookswise

Her mouth for both. I love how she makes me feel with her kind words and also how she scolds me when she thinks I'm acting out. It makes me want to tease her more. It makes me want to shut her up, fill her smart mouth with something, my tongue, my fingers, my dick. God, I'd kill to have her pretty lips wrapped around my cock. I miss her so much. I need her so bad. I wonder, is she thinking about me too?

Ask my yamqn muse a question

#mort talks #yamqn #ask my muse game

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Hi, author. How are you today? I finally got sometime to write a whole ass essay about the new chapter (teachers and their threats to fail me lmao, I'm too good at studying jk) \(￣︶￣*\)

sooooooooooooooooooooooo

taehyun's character devolopment..... my boy out there really being affectionate for real one time with the a little bit off timing. Like man do seek validation. Still my favorite character tho, can we just have he and kai alive, idc anymore /_ \ my boys need to have a happy ending (don't ask about Mr. Prince, he would be fine in the after life with oc, death or not, his source of happiness is literally the oc loool). I know he's distant but is this suppose a opposite dynamic you planned for the oc? Cause beomgyu >< taehyun, they are like that in real like lmao but not this intense and crazy.

kai, i don't trust you but i like you too honey. I feel bad for him but at the same time struggling since i think Taehyun is kinda right, it was cruel yet but bro, you are turning the land against your brother which is the reason that he don't like the oc anymore. But is that because he didn't how to deal with his brother's situation and he want to help but everything went too fast, his BFF's betrayal and his new sister-in-law who might get them killed by her 'crazy affair' and destroy all the achievement his brother has trying so hard to build? Then i think being with his brother who is cold and distant don't make thing look good for him after his parents' trauma, trauma won't go if you ignore it lmao.

About the oc, i really like her character actually. She trikes me as person who doesn't know anything about the world, i was once seeing a document about a case in which the kid got isolated from world and didn't have anything for herself but her dad's abuse and cruel words to her. It's heartbroken to see. basically she didn't go through this by physically but mentally. Not to mention, the special bond you had or the belief you had for you entire life but then you found out none of it was real, it would fuck you up so hard. It technically have to start at the beginning again (which you were always at, not the faded line you saw and thought you have make it far away) in this chapter , i see a lot of thoughts, emotions, experiences that oc didn't have with Beomgyu (and maybe could never have if she came back or stay instead of going with taehyun). This is what i called living lol, before that she just kinda there, exist in between of the walls of watching eyes, rumour but she couldn't see anything behind the palm of her trusted one and only. i think she would be great and live a normal life without Beomgyu and moving on.

About Beomgyu, babe there is no sit for you in heaven, no wonder you will be in hell. i like you too but- i don't have anything to say to him lolllllllllll. I almost forgot he is also one of the mains TT. let me find my words, wait.--------------------------------- okay, but wait------------------ okay, so what i am saying is if i were the oc with my personality, i wouldn't be crushing on you , sorry author. I just have a very much too fine line about friendship and love, can't be cross but in the oc's scenario, there is 3% of the chance i would fall for him since he was the only male on my radar but then is it make sense i saw him as a brother everytime he was mentioned (I'm sorryyyy). He is a great brother actually. It just urghhhhhh, i can't see the future of oc and him being together forever and after with flowers and sun, nooooooooooooooooooo. even with love, it's hard for the oc to come back normal with him, not missing the time she was with taehyun.

Idk what the closure ending is but I'm so exciteddddddddddddddddddddddddd. I can't wait, this story is so goooooooooooooooood, the plot and everything, ughhhhh.

-Iv :)

hey babe! i'm okay just trying to get in the mindset of job applications and not keep running off to write yamqn lmao

so your preferred ending is oc goes back to gyu and kai and tyun survive?

yeah i kinda based it a bit around their real personalities (loosely ofc) and tyun is more reserved and logical irl but he's also really sweet. and gyu is really energetic and loving but he has a sad side that he hides (that's my interpretation anyway i don't know them)

kai's issue is that he was kinda coddled and sheltered by taehyun (even though he thinks he's not) and he's so attached to taehyun, his only family, that he really is not making the most sound decisions. he's very emotional and he's acting out based on that instead of taking a step back and rethinking he's approach. i feel like he could've convinced oc to go back to gyu if he had used the wonyoung approach instead of screaming at her and getting her all defensive lmao like bro be smart. but again he's not used to that. he wasn't raised in the political climate of the palace. he was raised under taehyun's no nonsense tutelage

yeah oc is a dumb baby but it's not really her fault like you said.

"This is what i called living lol, before that she just kinda there" that's very true, but can she handle the heat?

"I almost forgot he is also one of the mains" and this is why he's coming back in the next two chapters lmao my boy been gone too long. and believe if this was real life i would never ever choose gyu. i mean i honestly wouldn't choose either boys lmao but definitely tyun over gyu. but for the fic i choose gyu. i just am in love with his brand of intense all consuming love. also please don't refer to him as a brother again that would be the one thing that would turn me off him lmao

#mort talks #yamqn #Iv :) anon

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Miss Writer~♡ may I inform you, that I am positively amazed at how your work keeps only getting better and better?

I've read and binge re-read every chapter of YAMQN you have posted till now... including the new one. Maybe it's because I was drinking while doing so but, even though I don't despise Lord Taehyun as much I did before anymore, I still am very much a simp for Prince Beomgyu (and you honestly hihi).

I don't think anything is gonna chance my bias for that type of obsessive worshippy super soft bitch boy character (definitely watched too many reverse-harem anime during childhood), and the fact that Beomgyu is my actual bias in txt is not helping either. At this point i'm convinced that nothing he, the character, could do would turn me away from favoring him.

Kai is now my favorite character. The urge to simultaneously befriend, protect an adopt him kept growing everytime he made an appearance in the chapter.

Parents are, I'm sure, the real evil of this entire story.

Also oc internally nagging about interior design was quite amusing and surprisingly relatable! Her hair has also been through some real struggle in the last two chapters, and I feel for it.

Again... you did amazing, as always ~♡ It's really a (torturous) pleasure to have stumbled upon your page and read the creative product of your mind. Your dedication to developing and putting it out is also pretty endearing, even if I wish you wasn't so harsh on yourself sometimes. And, yes, you could indeed publish it as a book one day! You should definitely try to just change the characters names and pitch it to a publisher... just to see how it goes (if my ex managed to get his epic trash published, I don't see why something leagues better like your writing couldn't). I would buy it :)

Hope you're having an amazing day and taking a little time off from writing to not end up burned out ♡♡♡

I know! lord taehyun has so much potential but i'm obsessed with my obsessive loverboy 😭 gyu is my bias too so maybe that's why I'm biased (badum tsss). but wait you watched reverse harem as a child? 😂

parents are the root of all evil in in real life 😔

yeah she is a real snob. she was raised in a palace after all and tyun's castle is so old and dingy it's not suited for her delicate sensibilities. gyu conditioned her to the finer things in life i'm afraid

ah it's just hard to not be harsh on myself when i know i could do better, but then i'd be sacrificing even more of my real life so i have to remind myself that i'm writing the fics just for fun and for our mutual enjoyment.

hahaha imagine. would i keep the smut and go for the Nora Bing route or try to distance myself from the smut and go for the "real" author route? 😂

#thank you so much babe #you're so lovely #🥺 #mort talks #yamqn