#the fic where Tubbo is ride or die for science

[inkribbon796]

Dr. Strangelove and Ticking Timebombs Ch. 2: Slippery Fingers

Summary: A strange container, strange meet-ups and zero coincidences.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

When the heroes got to the warehouse, they were stopped by the bomb squad and several individuals in full hazmat gear walking around. Abe was sitting on a bench and rubbing his temples, Oliver was standing next to him. His vape in his hand.

Which surprised Logan because Oliver usually didn’t travel this far from the base.

“What happened, did the situation get worse?” Logan asked.

“You could say that,” Abe rubbed his face and stood up. “I was planning on showing you what was in that container in person, but Bing was in some camera feed and he called Brighton’s Health and Safety, and they came with fucking hazmat suits. Then he came in and started clearing people out.”

“Why?” Logan asked in confusion.

“Lo,” Bing shot out of the closest electrical panel, “there you are. An’ Marvin, perfect, I was about ta call you.”[1]

“Yeh wanted me an’ Logic?”[2] Marvin asked in confusion.

“Yeah,” Bing answered. “So you can’t go inta the warehouse, they’re still sortin’ out the pitchblende an’ findin’ what else got contaminated.”[3]

“Excuse me, did you say “pitchblende” why is that here?” Logan demanded.

“What’s pitchblende?” Tommy asked

“It’s a radioactive ore,” Logan explained. “Uranium-235 and Uranium-238 can both be synthesized from the ore to build nuclear reactors, but why is it here?”

“Why are you guys here then?” Silver asked.

“Well the ship’s manifesto caused some red flags to get raised,” Abe answered. “Some good Samaritan called the cops and pulled the container to the side. But instead of there being people in the cargo, there were some crates. And one of them was a lead box full of what Bing identified as pitchblende. He was watching us through some camera because he was bored, or some shit. And I’m glad he did because he saw what was in the box when my partner lifted some of it out and he cleared all of us out instantly. He was looking out for us.”

“Do we know where this shipment was supposed to go after it reached port?” Logan asked.

“Apparently a truck was supposed ta[4] come fer[5] it last night,” Bing answered. “But they pulled the container an’[6] no one saw a truck pull up fer[5] it. So I bet it scared ‘em[7] off.”

“I believe you might be right,” Logan decided. Then he looked at Abe. “Was there a name orva destination?”

“Just a name, a Tuberculosis Gadget,” Abe read with the type of smile he usually had just before he hit someone . . . typically that someone was Wilford. “I’ve seen some bad fake names, but this one is pretty up there.”

“Tuberc—” Tommy repeated in recognition.

Which immediately got Abe and Logan’s attention.

“That name ring a bell, kid?” Abe asked.

“I’m not a kid,” Tommy shot back.

“Whatever big guy,” Abe rolled his eyes. “Do you know the name or not?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know why it would show up here,” Tommy shrugged. “Don’t know what Tubs would want with somethin[8] radioactive. He’s a lawyer, not some crazy maniac.”

“Does he have other aliases, do you know this individual’s name?” Logan demanded.

Tommy hesitated for a second before he opened his mouth, but Ghostbur had started glancing around, half bored and half unable to put his concentration on any one thing for too long.

As the other heroes were trying to get information from Tommy, Ghostbur spotted two people off in the distance, watching them. He was so excited he spoke without thinking. “Tubbo? Hey Big Man, look, it’s Tubbo and Jack.”

The heroes looked at the two people just inside the cordoned off area. One was a man with a shaved head and red and blue glasses, the other was a much shorter man with a fluffy vest and brown hair that covered his eyes and most of the burns on his face. The second figure had a set of curled goat horns coming from his forehead.

“Tubbo?” Logan repeated in surprise, recognizing the burns.

Abe startled a bit, “Excuse me, but this is an active crime scene investigation, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Ghostbur, what are you doin’[9] here?” Tubbo asked before his eyes scanned the crowd before he just stared at Tommy. “Tommy, why the fuck are you workin’[10] with these assholes?”

Tommy sputtered in surprise, as the other heroes braced to intervene, “I am not some common pleb named “Tommy” or some such shit.”

“Tommy, don’t be a fuckin’[11] idiot,” Tubbo shouted. “I know it’s you, I’ve known you fer[5] fuckin’[11] years. You’ve only covered half yer damn face, an’[6] you didn’t even try to even talk deeper at the very least. You’re shit at hidin’[12] yer[13] identity.”

Tommy paused for a second or two, then said in a deeper voice, “I am not Tommy.”

“That’s worse, mate,” Jack Manifold told him, rolling his eyes behind his 3D-colored glasses. “Please use yer[13] normal voice. That one’s just complete dogshit.”

“Well fuck you too,” Tommy scowled, his tone a touch quieter.

Logan’s head was spinning, unable to reconcile the young man at the bed and breakfast who loved bees, with this same young man arguing in front of him. His whole body felt on edge. “Did you order this shipment?”

“Yer[14] gonna half to be specific,” Tubbo asked with a smile. “I order a lot ‘a[15] things.”

Jack looked at the amount of heroes, “Maybe we should just—”

“Save it, you can go, but I’m not goin’[16] anywhere,” Tubbo warned with almost an angry growl to his voice.

“This is an investigation, you can’t just be here,” Silver warned.

“Were you here to pick up a shipment from dock 14?” Logan asked.

“The one with my new smoke detectors an’[6] lanterns?” Tubbo smiled.

The other heroes were confused, but Abe and the androids weren’t.

“That’s not the only thing in there you sick fuck,” Abe spat.

“So it is yours?” Logan reeled a bit, Tubbo’s smile didn’t drop. “I don’t understand, you own a bed and breakfast, what on Earth do you want with Uranitie?”

“Ehhh, science marches on, big guy,” Tubbo shrugged.

“This not just for the sake of science,” Logan rebutted, a desperate tone to his voice. “This is a potential ecological and natural disaster waiting to happen. What do you intend for these items?”

Tubbo’s answer was given with terrifying calm, “To prove a point, really.”

“Ta[4] us?” Marvin gestured to them. “We get it, yeh[17] wanna be some big scary threat. We’ve faced worse.”

“Nah,” Tubbo dismissed. “You’re still human. Don’t care what you think ‘a[15] me.”

Then he gestured to Logan, “I meant ta[4] them.”

“Me?” Logan scoffed in disbelief as the pads of his fingers tapped once to his chest. “I thought you proved your point more than effectively at your establishment. But clearly I was gravely misinformed about your character.”

“I meant demons in general,” Tubbo dismissed. “Don’t take it personally. Although speaking ‘a[15] you, how lifelike are yer[13] little arms because the one that liked spiders had a whole personality an’[6] everythin’[15]. Did you give him that or is he naturally that skiddish. Hope it’s the second one because that’s seriously fucked up, dude.”

“The—” Logan felt alarm pass through him, he hadn’t been aware that Virgil and Tubbo had done more than look at each other across the game room of the bed and breakfast. “When did you speak with him?”

Tubo’s entire demeanor seemed to change. “The purple one? Can you not see everythin’[18] the others do?”

The skin and hair on Logan’s body stood on end, as if one current was going through him, “I think you must have confused me with someone else.”

“That depends on if you’re still the one who said you liked my bees,” Tubbo asked.

“I don’t think it wise of me to give my identity to you,” Logan warned.

Tubbo nodded, “Then tell yer[13] boss that Dream wants to speak to him. Has fer[5] a while now, we just haven’t been able to get past his door guards.”

Tubbo and Jack then looked up at something.

“Well, I think you’ve all made yer[13] point clear so you win an’[6] get to keep my stuff,” Tubbo shrugged. “G.G, we’ll just be off then.”

“No wait a second,” Abe ordered as Jack and Tubbo pulled out some green eye orbs and were already turning.

“Give me those!” Marvin yelled as the heroes raced forward. The orbs went sailing as Silver and Marvin raced for the two of them. Marvin grabbed onto Tubbo’s arm. “Yer not goin’ anywhere yeh—”[19]

The eyes opened and Silver flew back in surprise but Marvin didn’t and felt something rip Tubbo right out of his grasp.

Marvin screamed in pain as all of his fingers broke and the two people were gone.

“Fook!”[20] Marvin shouted in pain, holding his hand. “Motherfooker!”[21]

“Marv,” Silver began. “I’ll call the docs.”

Marvin screamed as he tried to keep his fingers still. “No, I’ll go after, we need ta[4] find these guys.”

“****!”[22] Bing cursed. “When did someone ****[20] with the cameras?”

“What?” Abe shouted and raced back into the warehouse. Logan was already on the phone with Henrik for Marvin.

Tommy and Ethan were a bit torn on who to go with for a bit but he shouted for Tommy to start getting into communication with Jackie and the other heroes.

Bing and Oliver were faster into the warehouse, keeping Abe out until they were sure it was clear. When the two androids got inside they saw several agents and hazmat workers lying dead around the facility. Arrows sticking out of some of them, bullet holes in others, and one or two of them had three lined up puncture wounds like they’d been stabbed with a trident or a multiple-pronged weapon like it.

Besides the dead people, the boxes were all missing. There were a few stray smoke detectors and a lantern or two that had been thrown by the wayside and were probably broken. But the lead boxes were gone, as were the box of magical crate

Bing tested the radioactive signature on the air and still found it slightly contaminated and therefore unsafe.

“Hey Bing,” Oliver messaged the other android.

“Yeah?” Bing replied as he was messaging Abe and giving him pictures and a report of the situation.

“Found something,” Oliver held up a small box that had come from the crate of magical supplies. Bing took a few pictures of it before opening the box and found that someone from the investigation team had already started labeling it. It was full of chunks of raw coconut.

“Weird,” Bing commented, taking more pictures and then placing the box in a radioactive-leak proof container so they could decontaminate it later.

They had missing radioactive material to find.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. there you are. And Marvin, perfect, I was about to call you.

2. You wanted me and Logic?

3. So you can’t go into the warehouse, they’re still sorting out the pitchblende and finding what else got contaminated

4. to

5. for

6. and

7. them

8. something

9. doing

10. working

11. fucking

12. hiding

13. your

14. You’re

15. of

16. going

17. you

18. everything

19. You’re not going anywhere you—

20. Fuck!

21. Motherfucker!

22. Shit!

#superhero au #masks and maladies #dream smp #footnotes #logan sanders #tommyinit mcyt #ghostbur #marvin the magnificent #bingiplier #oliver #google yellow #abe the detective #silver shepherd #tubbo underscore #jack manifold #vague threats #magic #the fic where Tubbo is ride or die for science