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galacticlamps · 3 years

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im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.

Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it

The TLDR version is this:

I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?

OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?

Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?

Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):

- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)

- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)

- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:

“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”

“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”

“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”

“What would you know about loss monsieur?”

- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room.

- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)

- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence

- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject

- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place

- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?

- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.

- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way

- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”

- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon

- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.

- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway

- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions

- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?

- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it

- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that

But yeah

all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)

I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since

#jamie mccrimmon #second doctor #big finish #Short Trips: Deleted Scenes #yes i am gonna tag this #two/jamie #i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else #and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying #but i'll leave it at that #in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post #also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio -#a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but #b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol #did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3?#and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters?#sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here #i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this #but if anyone has - thanks?#i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)

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bel0vedmendes · 5 years

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Inevitable : AU Part 3

BrothersFriend!Shawn x Reader

Words:3,238

Warnings: Language, Drinking, Smoking, Mentions of sex, leetle spicy moment.

Description: When Jason left, he made Shawn (his best friend) promise to keep a watchful eye on Y/N. He swears that we will. Along with the help of Brian and Kyle, he keeps his promise. As Y/n gets older the dynamic of their relationship begins to change. Will they figure out what they mean to each other or will Shawn always see her as his best friend’s little sister?

A/N: Part 1 and 2 are in my masterlist! Please, please, please let me know what you think, any feedback is appreciated <3

The next few weeks were crazy. The boys did everything in their power to make my transition to their college party house bearable. I had to get used to random people coming over at who knows what time. Eventually I got used to the fact that the house wasn’t going to be super clean- like ever. My room was the exception, and it was off limits to everyone but me. I would have to ask them ahead of time, if I needed a quiet house. They did what they could to accommodate. It was nice though. Anytime I needed help with homework they were always willing. They might party a lot, but they aren’t stupid by any means.

Things with Sam have escalated pretty quickly. He started texting me the day after the party. The boys hated him, especially Shawn. They promised me that his intentions were to have sex, and that he would hurt me. They kept saying ‘we know guys like Sam!’, and I would roll my eyes every time. They didn’t know him, hell, I didn’t even know him that well. I told them that they would just have to let me make my own mistakes. Brian and Kyle dropped it from that point on, and Shawn did too for the most part. He would still mock me when I would mention Sam at all.

Every Tuesday night we would have a game night. We would all invite our close friends and play games and drink. It was a way of hanging out that didn’t cost a fortune and didn’t turn into a huge party. I knew when I invited Sam, the boys would be pissed. I had to get them used to it though. So I invited Sam and a few of my girlfriends to distract Kyle and Brian. Plus, I knew Shawn was bringing his lovely girlfriend. Which made me want to invite Sam even more. I made it a point not to analyze what that might mean.

I put on a cute olive colored t shirt dress, with a plaid wrapped around the waist. Simple but cute enough to make Sam want more. As I sat in front of my mirror putting on my makeup, I thought about what I wanted from Sam. I knew that I liked him, and I knew that I thought he was extremely attractive. I didn’t necessarily want to have sex with him but part of me wanted to. I had sex with my first boyfriend ever when I was 16, and it was so anti-climactic. No pun intended. It lasted about 2 minutes and I didn’t feel anything but uncomfortable. I knew it was supposed to feel different, and I wanted to experience that.

People started to show up and I instantly noticed that it was more people than usual for our game nights. I find Brian and Kyle outside the house, talking to a group of girls.

“Guys, what the fuck? Why are so many people here?” I ask pulling Brian to the side.

“These ladies are in town visiting, I met them this morning. I told them we were having a party tonight.” He explains, barely making eye contact with me. His eyes wandering over the group of girls beside me. I huff and go back inside to text Sam and my friends so they knew what to expect. As I waited patiently for my friends to arrive, Shawn and Jessica walked into the house. Shawn making a beeline for me.

“No Sam?” He mocked, earning a tired look from me.

“He’s on his way actually,” I smile at him sarcastically.

“Wonderful,” He says raising his brows. Jessica instantly wraps her arms around his middle. I look away immediately remembering their fight from the last party. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I wanted Shawn. I gnaw on the inside of my lip, as I try to forget the things they said to each other in that fight. Constantly being reminded that I truly didn’t know how I felt about Shawn, and that was the stressful part. My overthinking brain managed to tell my feet to take me to the fridge. I found my special pack of beer that everyone hated but I loved. They always bought a pack for me and wrote my name on it in Sharpie. It made me feel so special. 7 beers later I was feeling it. My friends showed up after my second beer, causing me to drink more than I had wanted to before Sam arrived. We were all dancing in a group in the kitchen, when I felt arms wrap around my waist. I turned around quickly, thinking it was one of the boys- hoping for it to be one specifically. Sam’s bright eyes peering down at me, he was drunk. I giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck hugging him tightly. His hands slide down to my ass grabbing tightly, making my cheeks turn another shade of red. All of the people watching in the room start notice as he gets a little too handsy. I watch Shawn pull Jessica closer as he eyes Sam down, lifting his beer to his lips as he glares at him. I chuckle pushing him away a little, raising my eyebrows at him.

“Slow down buddy,” I laugh as his lips attack my neck. I slowly push him away, finally realizing how drunk he really was. I was tipsy too, but nowhere near his level.

“You’re so fucking hot babe, I can’t get enough,” He says biting his lip, tucking my hair behind my ear. Just as he’s about to lean in for his second attack on my neck. I hear my name being called from the front room. I introduce Sam to my friends, telling them to talk for a second while I figure out why I’m being called. I immediately find Shawn waiting for me, I scrunch my eyebrows together in confusion. Of course I knew what this was going to be about, I chose to play coy.

“Can we talk outside for a second?” he asks, his tone flat. I nod my head following him outside. We sit on the old swing set that was left here when the boys bought the house. They never cared enough to get rid of it.

I start to swing back and forth, giving him the time he needed to start his rant.

“I cant watch you do this,” He scolded, his jaw tight and his leg rocking up and down quickly. I shake my head, annoyed that my every move was being analyzed.

“Don’t watch then,” I snap, as I start to head back inside. His hand finding my wrist and pulling me back towards him as he stands up.

“Listen,” He starts, holding my wrist tight like he always does when he wants me to take him seriously. “you know I’m just looking out for you, I always have-“

“My best interest at heart, I know,” I mock, cutting him off. I shake his hands off of my wrist, and for the first time I’m pissed at him.

“Shawn. You don’t get to make decisions for me anymore, okay?”

I don’t want to be mad at him. I don’t want to yell at him, but he doesn’t get input on everything in my life.

“Y/N, I’m not deciding anything for you! You’re rushing things, and that guy is a scum bag,” He shouts at me, instantly causing me to step back because he’s never yelled at me before.

I scream back at him, feeling tears start to sting my eyes. “You’ve got a lot to say for someone who lets his girlfriend walk all over him!”

“Don’t bring her into this, that had nothing to do with you!” He scoffs and I start to laugh mockingly.

“Nothing to do with me? Good to know! How about you stay in your fucking lane then! Mind your own business,” I spit at him, spinning on my heal to walk away from him before I said anything else.

“You know he’s a piece of shit, y/n. Why the fuck are you pretending like he’s some God,” He laughs at me, which instantly pisses me off even more.

“I don’t know Shawn, why do you pretend like Princess Jessica is the best thing that’s ever happened to you? How about you let me make my mistakes, and I’ll let you make yours. Sound good?” I fumed in voice that came out calmer than expected. I immediately turned away, walking to the inside. I instantly find my special case of beer, opening a bottle and chugging it in a record time. Then another, and another. Next thing I know I’m sitting on Sam’s lap in the living room watching my best friends dance to the overly loud music. Sam’s lips are ghosting over my ear, nibbling my neck. I giggle pretending to me completely enveloped in his presence but every time I look up, I’m looking for Shawn. I catch him staring a few times, but eventually he catches on to my game and starts to play too. He starts to mimic what Sam is doing to me, kissing Jessica on the neck. Each of us one upping each other, our partners in the dark about our little game. My friends take my hands pulling me into their circle, making me momentarily forget about our game. Until I realize this is the perfect opportunity to win. They decide to change the song to one me and my friends knew well. One we liked to dance around to in our rooms, and just happened to be perfect for the exact situation I was in. The familiar melody of Ariana Grande ‘Dangerous Woman’ instantly making all of the girls in the house scream. I peak over at Shawn and notice that his eyes are on me. I start to walk over to the blonde eyeing me down from the chair in the corner of the room. Focusing on making each movement slow and sultry. I mouth the words as I approach him, gaining an audience as I do.

“Don't need permission.

Made my decision to test my limits

'Cause it's my business…” I sing quietly as I approach the mesmerized blonde.

Placing one leg on each side of him. The song plays on and the chorus speeds up and I start to grind on the boy in front of me, earning a room full of encouragement.

“Somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout, somethin' 'bout you

Makes me wanna do things that I shouldn't..”

Normally I would run and hide at this kind of attention but the alcohol coursing through my veins and the need to defy the boy across the room made me stay. His hands start to reach out to take hold of my hips, then the music suddenly stops. I quickly flick my head in the direction of the speaker instantly greeted by a red faced Shawn, he was pissed.

“Party’s over, everyone out,” He yells, not breaking eye contact with me. I slowly smirk, at him as I sit on Sam’s lap. He shakes his head at me immediately walking over to the boys whispering something that makes them both glare at me and the boy who was under me. Then he and Jessica leave the party along with the rest of people. I finally snap back to the reality of the situation. Sam’s whispering the list of things he wants to do to me in my ear. I scold myself mentally because I made him think that way. I did like him though, and I was seriously attracted to him. Part of me just wished that it wasn’t all initiated because I was trying to make Shawn jealous. He takes my hand and we head to my bedroom. He pushes me against the back of my bed room door, sucking small bruises onto my neck. I moan loud, trying to force myself to stop thinking about what had happened with Shawn. I didn’t want to win anything, I don’t know why I did that. As guilty as I felt, I was still pissed at him. He had no right to say the things he said to me, and that was that. Sam’s fingers find my jaw, he makes me face him. He smiles at me before kissing me hard. Pulling back to look at me with his beautiful drunken blue eyes again.

“You’re so sexy, babe.” He says, making me smile.

From that point I force myself to be in this moment with him. I want to see where it goes. Next thing I know, he’s taking my dress off over my head, and I’m taking his shirt off. He picks me up and throws me on the bed, and starts to do some amazing things with his tongue between my legs. Then we had sex. It was way better than the last time. It felt good, it all felt so good. My body loved everything he was doing to me, but my head wasn’t into it. I couldn’t help but notice how emotionally unattached I was from him the entire time.

Maybe I had watched too many romantic comedies in my day, but I expected to feel more than just an orgasm. As I laid next to him in my bed, with his arm draped over my naked stomach, I decided that I would give it more time. The other feelings could come eventually, right? I fell asleep telling myself that I would feel that way eventually the more I got to know him, even though I knew it was a lie.

______________________________________________________________

It had been weeks since the last party, I had cut down on drinking substantially after seeing the videos of me dancing. Sam and I have hooked up three more times since that night, and now he calls me his girlfriend. It feels good to have attention from someone like him, but I’m still working on connecting to him emotionally. Everyday it seems to be a little harder to do. Especially since Shawn and I still haven’t really talked since that night. We talk in passing when we need to but he avoids me at all cost. I finally got to talk to Jason about everything. He sounded so happy on the phone so I didn’t want to annoy him with me petty relationship problems and stupid head games. We just talked about the stupid shit that happens living in a house with his best friends. He really did love that I decided to live with them, Shawn was right about that.

That’s all I can think about still. Even while I’m trying to study for the mid-term I have on Friday, all I can think about is how Shawn hates me. Thankfully I’m pulled from my thoughts as Kyle yells that my friend is here. Gabriella showed up with beer in hand for the thirsty boys. Kyle was leaning against the door frame, his voice was smooth and suave in his attempt to flirt. I start laughing from behind them, causing Gabby to laugh too. Kyle turns around scrunching his eyebrows together, of course he didn’t see anything wrong.

“Maybe if you let her inside, things might work better for you.” I say sarcastically watching the blush rise in his cheeks as he rolls his eyes at me. Gabriella smiled at him, letting him know that she still thought the attempt was cute.

“I figured you could use a study break.” She says as she pulls out tacos from my favorite taco joint.

“Oh my God, I love you.” I gush instantly grabbing one of the tacos and devouring it. She knew me well. She knew I probably hadn’t eaten all day because of the studying, but she also knew how stressed I was about Shawn avoiding me. As if he knew he was being thought of Shawn walked into the kitchen, looking me over and giving me a tight lipped smile before going to find Brian. I set my food down taking a deep breath, suddenly remember why I didn’t have an appetite to begin with.

“Still haven’t talked?” Gabriella whispered as she scrolled through her phone, waiting for me to finish eating. I gently shake my head, not wanting to use words. She nods her head, understanding that I didn’t want to talk about it. As if the smell of the tacos pulled them into the room, within minutes my two roommates were hovering over me, begging for my leftovers. Shawn follows them standing against the sink as they fight over the food. My eyes find his and I know that he feels the same way as me, I need to apologize. Even though I still feel like he over stepped, the things I said were cruel and I would never normally say those things out loud- even if it is how I truly felt.

“You talked to Jay?” Brian asks as cheese from his taco falls from his mouth.

“Yeah, why?” I tilt my head looking at Shawn, knowing he was the one with the questions.

“Did he tell you if he was coming to your Dad’s Wedding?” Brian questions, interrupting my gaze that was locked on the curly headed boy.

“Yeah, he said he’ll probably be able to make it.” I smile, looking up at Shawn as he started to grin, I knew he missed Jason just as much as I did.

After 30 minutes of listening to the boys talk about what they were going to do when Jason came home, they finally retired to the living room to play Mario Cart. Kyle stole Gabriella from me claiming that they needed another player so it would be even. We all knew he just wanted to be around her. I stayed in the kitchen, cleaning up the mess from the boys. I smiled to myself as I listened to them yell at each other. The feeling of nostalgia was intense. This was the sound I heard every weekend in my basement until Jason moved away. I started to get emotional thinking about it. Suddenly Shawn’s voice snapped me out of my flashback.

“I wont go if you don’t want me to.” He said with a low voice, standing against the door frame.

“Shawn, its fine. You should come.” I said with a smile, still wiping the counter down with a wash rag.

“It’s your Dad. I don’t need to come, I know you don’t like Jessica so..” He starts to ramble.

“No, listen, I shouldn’t have said anything about you and Jessica. It’s not my place. I’m sorry.” I apologized, looking up at him with sincere regret in my eyes.

“I fucked up too, I just want to see you happy.” He mumbles with half a smile. I immediately start to hug him, missing the feeling of his arms around my waist and the smell of his cologne.

Then that was that. We joined the rest of the group in the living room. Gabriella giving me a knowing look, because she knew Shawn and I had made amends. I knew that Shawn still didn’t approve of whatever Sam and I had going on, he never would. He was also well aware that I would never be bff’s with Jessica. It was something we were both going to have to accept.

Taglist: @within-nd-without, @hollymollymomsravioli

@peterbrokenparker @alinashawn

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDEDDDDD :)

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes au

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missjackil · 7 years

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My Unpopular SPN Opinions (Pt 1)

Even though I have only been watching SPN for a year, I have rewatched the whole series dozens of times and have formed my own opinions on everything. i have also only been part of the fandom for about 8 months, and noticed many of my opinions are not the popular ones. The most common opinion, that I don’t share with most of you, is The show was better in the early seasons. I don’t think it was. it was good, dont get me wrong, but it needed to grow and become something different, or it couldnt have lasted. A couple days ago, I was watching the S1 finale, and though it was suspenseful, and melodramatic, I thought “Jeez, how out of place would Cas, Crowley, and Rowena be in these early years?” They wouldn’t have fit at all, and though I don’t like a lot of time being spent on side characters, I do like the elements these characters add to the show.

Supernatural is very unique. The theme alone means that it can grow in ways that other shows cannot. There are nearly unlimited directions this show can take, or storylines it can explore, and experiment with different platforms and moods, from scary, to funny, heart warming to heart breaking. It blows my mind that the same show that gave us All Hell Breaks Loose, also gave us Changing Channels. Im so glad that the show didn’t stay trapped in a world where Sam and Dean just hunted monsters and didnt take the chance of going big and crazy. Many of you make the claim It was better in the Kripke era! But really, it was Kripke that started all the big and crazy stuff. We went the first 3 seasons being relatively the same thing. Just Sam and Dean, hunting monsters, throwing in a bigger picture, like hunting for Dad, looking for The Colt, looking for the Yellow Eyed Demon and killing him, having concern for Sam’s psychic abilities. When Sam died in All Hell Breaks Loose, this was where the show would change and start growing into big crazy thing it is today. For one, we really started to see the depths in which Sam and Dean love each other. Sam was dead and Dean sold his soul to bring him back.

This was a little different than when John sold his soul for Dean, in the sense that we almost expect a parent to be willing to sell their soul for thier child, but a brother for a brother? This took Sam and Dean’s lovingly co-dependent relationship to an irrationally co-dependent relationship and things just escalated from there. Sam spent all of S3 trying to get Dean out of this deal even if it meant he would die instead, and most of us probably didn’t think Dean would actually have to die and go to Hell, surely Sam would be able to save him at the last minute, but nope.... Kripke stepped out of the box, made Dean die and go to Hell and then S4 exloded into the big and crazies. In one single season, 2 monster hunting bros who dealt mainly with folk lore, light religion, and the occasional demon possession, met Angels and got to keep one as a side kick, Dean revealed after 30 yrs of being tortured in Hell, he became a torturer and he liked it, Sam slept with a demon and got addicted to demon blood in hopes to get revenge on the demon who sent Dean to Hell, they find out that not only are they part of God’s Master Plan, but they have a prophet wrting their Gospels and they’re an addition to The Bible, and key in stopping the Apocolypse! Oh, and they have a long lost brother, and Dean sleeps with an Angel, and Sam accidentally raises Lucifer from Hell!

S5 was no safer, we find out that Sam and Dean are actually the vessels of the great Arch Angel fight between Heaven and Hell, Michael and Lucifer. I was pretty sure neither brother would say yes to being The Vessel, and the Apocolypse would be averted because they boys loved each other too much to do such a thing, but no, Sam said yes, and once again we have a hero die and go to Hell, but he did save the world in the process! Are these the same guys we had in the first 3 seasons? Is this even the same writer we had in the first 3 seasons? Did most of you start complaining in S4 that the show wasnt the same anymore and should have ended in S3? Probably not, or not as many anyway, I loved S4 and 5, but as far as the popular opinion goes that Kripke’s era was more simple, down to earth, just full of fun monster hunts and not all this crazy stuff, you’re just wrong. A post came up on my dash yesterday about how people fall in love with a show, and then the writers change it completely from what made us love it in the first place, and that after S5 Supernatural went down hill. It had hundreds of thousands of “likes” but it made me think the viewers are oblivious to the fact that Kripke himself changed it in season 4. And this happens to be what I fell in love with. Not the monster hunts. i fell in love with unpredicability, the bravery to take the story far past where anyone thought it would go, and the irrational, psychotic, dangerous (errotic??) co-dependent love Sam and Dean have. All writers that followed kept up with these things. Yes, there were stupid mytharcs... Leviathans for one, and grave mistakes like the unaddressed story of the Lucifer/Sam Hell rape (wont ever forgive Gamble for that but its a rant for another time) but there were some really great stories too. I might be among a very small handful of fans that like what the show has become, much more than how it started, and cant wait to see where else it leads, I LOVE the addition of the Men of Letters, this opened up a whole new road for what can be done with the big picture. Maybe we will get even another big game changer that does the same, but as long as Sam and Dean are there, I may groan and grumble at some episodes, but I will happily continue to watch it indefinitely.

#supernatrual #sam and dean #my opinion #give me the big and crazy

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velteris · 7 years

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I've been following you for a really long time and this is the first time I've ever wanted to ask you a question. But why would you go camping alone without any light? That's just a really dumb thing to do...

(in ref to my tags here im pretty sure)

gather round, dear followers, for a series of anecdotes from Hell Camp, the source of my best and worst stories

when i was twelve my school sent all its year nine students class by class to a five-week camp, which will henceforth be called Hell Camp. here is the setup:

a four-hour drive out of the city into the outback, where there is a farm owned by the school for the express purpose of hosting Hell Camp

28 girls and 28 boys, each in their own dorm houses

no phones. no computers, no ipods, no TV. no internet (within our reach). we cooked our own food on fire stoves and wrote letters by hand to our parents and friends

no lollies, no soft drinks or juice, all our eggs and milk came off the farm

wake up at 5:30am every day to go for a 3km run and then chores on the farm, from milking the cows to chopping our firewood

Bible study every night because this was a Christian private school

“why???” u may ask. “why did your school subject tweens to a month of this???” supposedly to build character and teach u life skills but tbh idk how knowing how to crack a bullwhip is supposed to help me in life

but it wasnt just five weeks straight of same ol farm life there were other activities they had us do!! camp-like activities!! for example:

Pre-Survival

three days to prepare us because we were innocent younglings who barely knew how to start a fire

basically a campsite in the middle of fuckass nowhere? we rode horses there while the counselors (the Hell Camp resident teachers, but ones that deadlift 50kgs and kill spiders without batting an eye) drove with our bags and stuff and laughed as we got inevitably lost

have u ever used a dunny u have to empty urself

it is so gross. there is a field marked out explicitly for burying everyone’s shit, and u have to take turns. so gross.

there was a shower which was a metal shed with a bucket of water hung up, which u heated over the fire before u went in and prayed it wasn’t too hot

this was like winter time and we slept in swags on the ground and when we woke up there was frost on our swags

i made an iron horseshoe??? the temptation to touch red hot metal is ridiculous tbh it looks so pretty

someone did touch theirs. it was not me. i heard them yell from across the field where i was helping feed horses.

in the middle of the second night the counselors took us to a giant rock in the middle of the bush where u could see the stars and it was amazing you could see the milky way and everything… but the thing was we had to spend the previous 20 minutes in the dark to get our eyes used to it so they had us hold onto each other’s sleeves and walk blindly into this rugged, rock-covered trail through pitch blackness, praying no one in front is going the wrong way

and then. the counselors played a trick on us by getting one of the kids to stay back in the forest and waited to see how long we’d notice. we didn’t notice until it was time to go back im so sorry Kimmy

Survival

ok this the real shit you went with the same group you were with in pre-survival and the counselors drove you out into the depths of the outback and dropped you and your group off with some tools, food, and tarpauline

and then u just lived out there for three days.

we couldn’t start a fire our first night because it’d been raining before??? our dinner was supposed to be rice, potatoes and carrots, and the carrots were the only edible thing bc u cant eat raw rice and raw potatoes.. u just cant.

there were wild dogs around. we never saw them, but we heard them awoo-ing a lot. so whenever someone split off from the main camp to go pee like two other girls would accompany them as an honor guard, singing Kumbaya to keep the hounds away

sometimes people would go alone and then there would be a Sound in the bush and then you’d just hear them screaming “MAMA’S MAKING KAN TONG”

on our last day the counselors set up targets with drawings of kangaroos on them, handed us a bow and 20 arrows, and said “if u can shoot the kangaroo we’ll give u sausages for your last meal”

never in my life will i ever see such ferocity from 12- to 13-year-old hungry girls again

when it was another group’s turn to be on survival, my group was on normal farm duty, and we were out clearing bush scrub when we heard the survival group girls talking and we realised we’d gotten too close.

“hello?? hello??? is anyone out there?” “oh my god someone’s out there oh my god we’re gonna die” “COME OUT, WE HAVE WEAPONS”

THIS WAS A LIE. WE KNEW DAMN WELL THEY HAD THE SAME THINGS AS US AND THOSE THINGS WERE TWO SHOVELS AND A HEAVY DUTY CLIPPER.

and our fucking counselor just went “shhh!!” to us and herded us back like he just straight up left those nine girls thinking there were bush serial killers out for them

also apparently a tree fell on someone’s head at some point in their survival

at night we slept in a row like snuggling each other cause it was So Fracking Cold and lemme tell u it’s an experience being spooned by the girl who used to sigh whenever you raised your hand in class

Four Day Hike

what it says on the label

55km in four days, carrying all your food, sleeping bags, tents, clothes, toilet paper etc. and minimum 2L of water bottles you could refill at big barrels set out at designated stop points

this is, without a doubt, the single worst experience of my life

nothing good happens when u hand a group of kids a map and a compass and tell them “we’ll look for you if you’re not at the campsite by sundown but apart from that you’re on your own”

i was with an athletic group of kids?? they were Walking So Fast and i was just staggering along with my unfit friend like this is how i die on a godforsaken hill on our way to god knows where

actually i had an asthma attack and they left me behind for a bit fun times

the hike went through some willing farmers’ land and one boy who stupidly climbed a fence got chased by a bull

they sent us off group by group so we’d all make our own way, so whenever u bumped into another group you were like. okay one of us was going the wrong way and it better fucking well be you

there weren’t any showers or anything so we basically all wore the same clothes for four disgustingly sweaty days of hiking

someone used an anthill as a toilet bc it had a nice big hole to drop ur toilet paper down

the ants did not appreciate this

when you run out of toilet paper and it’s only 11am

Solo

this was it. the culmination of the camp. the ultimate character building experience.

which was just 24 hours of alternating boredom and sudden visceral terror now that i think about it

u got dropped off (again in the middle of nowhere see a theme yet) with tarp, a lil trowel, and a clipper, and u just set up camp and did whatever u wanted for 24 hours

they let u bring a bible.

i got really into Leviticus and Deutoronomy before it went dark

listen it was really really boring ok

AND HERE IT IS THE BIT WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE LIGHT WHILE CAMPING ALONE

listen when the sun goes down at 5pm, u go down too. there’s nothing else u can do?? u just gotta sleep???

or, like me, lie awake in mortal terror listening to the bush Come Alive

when the wallaby goes THUMP-THUMP-THUMP and you’re like holy shit this is it the abominable loch ness chupycabra has manifested in the australian outback and it’s going to eat me alive jesus christ protect me with the power of this bible

hence the sheer relief when the sun finally comes out and u can walk around without living in fear of accidentally walking face first into a spiderweb or scratchy lantana bushes

also a mini survey went around afterwards and i’m pretty sure a solid 60% of the girls took a shit on solo like… at long last u can take as long in the toilet as u want… without the other 27 girls banging on the door……

other miscellaneous stories that dont fit anywhere else:

one of the boys went missing?? he wandered off and couldn’t remember anything when they found him in the middle of the bush. cryptic

there was this one homesick girl who was REALLY homesick like she cried every day of the five weeks. by the end of the camp she’d approached everyone to talk about her Feelings and you’d just kind of groan softly when u saw her coming towards your bunk bc u knew u were in for a hopeless comforting session

on sundays sometimes we went to the nearby town’s elderly home to talk to the old folks and some of us could play music so we did little performances for them which was rly sweet!

there were lambs on the farm!! we named them Uggboot and i think Fleece Jacket or smth like that

there were cows too!! meat cows!! they were Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

my first time on cow milking duty i tried to herd the bull towards the milking pens bc i did not realise he was not a cow. i quickly realised when he took very fast steps towards me and i Got The Dodge Out Of There

we spit roasted an entire pig for the final feast before we left and i will never forget it. the first time in my life i had crackling. half the group was weak in the knees cause we saw the pig get slaughtered and the other half was just “sweet, more for me”

whenever the new fruit delivery came in and the hunger games commenced in the kitchen… tween girls are actually ravenous wolves u heard it here first folks

when u going to the bathroom in the bush and u feel something touch your butt… is it a stray hair? is it a piece of grass? is it a bug??? who knows but nothing makes your bowels loosen faster

the unholy horror of finding spiders wherever you least expect it

ANTS IN THE SUGAR

“I saw Goody Proctor with the devil leaving the cupboard open for the ants!!!”

honestly so many things happened at Hell Camp that i can’t remember most of them anymore and it Rankles Me bc i know there were so many wild stories but here you go. some of the wildest ones.

11/10 went back to Hell Camp voluntarily once, would go back again again.

#velter answers #this took so long but is it worth it??? yes absolutely #Anonymous #hell camp #i went back to tag this just for future reference #my memories grow fuzzier by the day... hell camp deserves preservation

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cyn009 · 5 years

Text

I just didn’t know...

So, not a lot of you really know me. I think most people follow me for the Critical Role, and gaming stuff I repost from other people. I hardly ever post something myself. And because of this, and because i feel like i need to atleast write this, this is the best place to put it. Its ok if no one reads it, but here it goes.

I have always had a big imagination. I was always the quiet, A honor roll student that always obeyed her parents, and wanted nothing more than to make them proud. While making homework and whatnot, i would watch my older brother draw. He is an amazing artists, and i remember feeling like nothing compared to him. He was better than me at everything i loved. Art, video games, he had a big group of friends that got together almost every day. The only thing i could do better was coloring. It also really annoyed me how my brother would draw these amazing pictures, but in the faintest pencil markings. I was always telling him, “You draw so awesome! Why not make it noticeable enough for people to actually see it?” He always shrugged and said that he didnt care if people didnt see it. I did care. I always looked up to my brother, and i wanted other people to know how good he was. So i asked him if i could make his drawings darker, by giving them a second pass of my own. Not altering the drawing, but simply making the lines darker. He agreed. So i started drawing his drawing all over again, until they were noticeable. Then he would ask me to color them, and i would. He got to sell a lot of his art at fairs and stuff.

I did have friends. I had a group of 4 guy friends in elementary school, who i spent lunch reading Harry Potter books with. I also had 2 girl friends that were my neighbors, who i would “play” barbies with. They would bring their Barbies and all their accessories, and i would bring my Link figurine. The one you could order from the OoT Zelda pamphlet. It was so boring... All they wanted was to dress up the dolls and all that. I wanted to have adventures!

Never happened with them, or my friends in school.

Later i moved to the US, and i went to middle school, where i met my future girlfriend. I remember so vividly that she said i looked like a whore for dressing up in a dress for a school dance. She was not a good person. But i stuck around. She was different and we would talk about anime and manga. We had this thing that we would do during class in which i would draw a stick figure on a page and pass it to her, who would add a stick figure of her own, interacting with mine. If was amazing! It didnt matter what either of us added to the page, the other would just go with it and continue adding to this story we made together.

Heh, you could say that my first OCs were literal stick figures.

We continued friends until high school, where something strange happened. I say strange cuse i dont know of anyone else personally that did this, other than us. I started embodying my OCs. I would say that “Cyn” was in her room, and someone else was possessing my body for the time being. But not just anyone, it was my own characters. People i thought would be best suited to face things than little meek me. Be it school stuff, family stuff, working out, ditching class, even my personal relationship with my girlfriend. She was also doing the same. Acting as her own OCs. I dont know how it started, but it just did. and we kept it up for a long time. All through high school, really. Up until she broke my heart. But it was strange because the girlfriends relationship was between some of out OCs, but not all of them. Some would actively ignore the other, while others just wanted each other in more ways than one.

I cared so much for her, that i allowed her to rope me into her family drama. It took over my life so much that i had completely replaced my own loving family with her broken one... I say that she broke my heart, and she really did. But i feel like it was the best thing she could have done for me. Experiences with her made me grow up from the perfect little girl that makes her parents proud to a girl that apparently had split personalities.

When she left... I was kind of lost. Having so many personalities out in the open as someone else taking care of my problem didnt work anymore. I didnt want to sound like a crazy person by telling people, “Im not Cyn, im _______.” I realized i had to grow up and admit to myself that it was just me, and i was being the person i wanted to be with the excuse that it was someone else. Because i was nothing. It took me years to get over that. I still sometimes find myself talking to one of my personalities, having full conversations and confrontations. I still feel like it helps me.

Anyways, when me and my grilfriend broke up, i found a new friend. She and I were part of a group of friends that self-published a manga magazine. We organized some OCTs and all that. It was cool.

In one of those OCTs, i met a guy from the other side of the world. We started RPing with each other and started creating this world together that i loved so much that we opened the chat RP to other of our friends from the OCTs. It later turned into a forum RP in this cute website that ran for 1000+ forum pages. If you could see us. All sitting at a table with out computers, like a LAN party, but were just RPing in type. Waiting for each other to post our next thing, and refreshing the page over and over again to keep reading the story.

Eventually, the forum story reached stagnation with the other characters in the story, so me and my friend took it out to a two person roleplay chat once again.

We roleplayed with each other for 6 years. This consumed my life just as the other personalities did. I would be with family, but my face on my phone, roleplaying and creating this world that it was just ours. And it was built for years and years, building upon the world i had created since elementary. It was this amazing place that only the two of us knew.

Then i started watching critical role and i wondered if i could do that! Roleplay with other people, maybe bring them into my world.

My first DM experience was typical. I over prepared, and made the encounters so hard that my friends ended up just abandoning the mission and not wanting to play anymore. Atleast not with me as a DM.

I was nothing again.

So i let my friend be the DM, and i became a player in the world i had helped create for years. Mostly because she didnt like how i was managing the world myself. She wanted control of it, so she took it. I felt like shit about that, but i was not going to be a petty as her. This was just a game. It was not going to mess with the ‘canon lore’ of our imaginary world no one else knew as well as us.

Anyways, it is predictable that we had a falling out, and strangely stopped talking over night. My family had always told me how they felt like my friendship with her was holding me back, and i was determined to not allow that to happen. The loss of her friendship would not stagger me. I am stronger than that. I am strong.

......

I started DMing again. With only one player. The one guy from my group of high school friends that i would have never expected to stay friends with me or willing to face my crazy world alone. But he did! I felt like an idiot that i never took his friendship seriously. He deserved better from me. (btw, Hi, dude!) I DMed a game for him for almost six months, until i felt confident that i knew how to DM better, and he felt like he needed help.

I decided to not invite people we already knew... This was something new, me opening my crazy and letting people play in the world i would escape to in my mind. People we knew would judge me for being broken. Strangers would get to know me like this, and hopefully understand that this is normal for me.

This was the best thing i could have ever done.

I made that world my own. I erased the places that hurt me and replaced them with adventures and so many new faces. NPCs. Names of people changed, their stories changed, I changed.

Now i have a group of players that have just finished the first campaign in my world. A 2 year long campaign. And they wanted to return to that world immediately, now having started Campaign 2 without even missing a single session. Not only that, but they ask me for extra sessions! They cant get enough! They are excited to be there and experience the story i will present them! I didnt know... people would like it.

I asked them what kind of DM they would describe me as. They agreed on “The Depressing DM”. The one that makes them face harsh consequences and situations that challenge their morality. I... I didn’t describe myself as happy until i dropped my old relationships, when out on my own with my world, and found new adventurers. I have always felt loved by my family, but i never thought others could love what i do. I still cant believe it is real. I am actually happy. They want me around because of who i am, what i do, and what i give them. I wished i had known sooner... But i am glad i know now. I am so grateful for my players, my friends. Thank you for welcoming me with such open minds, and joining my game. You guys make me happy. :)

#personal rant

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