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scarlok · 4 years

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top black sails characters, in ascending order according to their unimportance relative to my affection

20. s1 dufresne (as very distinct from s2-3)

generally does his best. has a mathematician’s intolerance for bullshit, so the lad was never going to last long under flint. has an accountant’s pent up rage, as evidenced on the andromache. probably has a crush on billy bones, like approx. one third of the walrus crew. (as with some other characters, I really would rank him higher but technically he’s not minor enough; such is my system.)

19. singleton

a moment’s silence for the first walrus crew member to be killed by flint under spurious circumstances, not that anyone misses him, the sadistic bastard.

18. israel hands

what a piece of work is mr hands. j’adore.

17. ned low

only really succeeds in sawing a man’s head off and threatening eleanor before he dies his own violent death. quite a waste of a narrative arc, especially given that the contradictory accounts of low’s death give one plenty of ideas to explore. mr meeks didn’t die for this.

16. fogg

a man with good survival instincts but no chance to exercise them. here lies mr fogg, who did his level best under impossible circumstances.

15. idelle

good at getting information. dispenses fashion advice to boring men. saves anne from an awkward situation that would have ended in anne murdering another customer. later tells anne what she thinks of her. owns a machete.

14. de groot

mr de groot is out here loyally trying to make sensible decisions while his captain specialises in bad ones. probably been doing this for years.

13. morley

dislikes flint, likes randall and his cat. dies under (imo) suspicious circumstances, involving flint, randall, and the cat.

12. muldoon

nice person. probably has a crush on silver* (like approx. one third of the walrus crew), which is just asking for trouble. silver rather (uncharacteristically) goes to pieces in that particular crisis, for which I am forever judging him, although virtually nobody survives flint’s leadership so it was bound to end this way.

* apparently richard wright-firth said so but I don’t know where; regardless, your #1 source for gay pirate history is b. r. burg.

11. naft

FRUIT FRUIT [REDACTED REDACTED] PLANT PLANT

10. charlotte

does charlotte design a lot of pirate flags? does her dark imagination strike fear into the hearts of all law-abiding mariners in the spanish main? are she and idelle a thing? inquiring minds &c.

9. lars

he’s brave. he’s handsome. he’s good at being quiet. in an ideal world fate would keep him away from flint, but he deserves, at the very least, more appearances.

8. linus harcourt

so much fun, for all of 15-30 minutes. he probably feels his death is cosmically unfair. I rather agree.

7. palmer and oates

these two doomed fucking idiots. flint probably decides to shoot them both because he can’t tell them apart either. kudos to both actors for a fine delivery of doomed idiocy.

6. mrs mapleton

the one and only older woman on nassau? cleverer than rackham. probably right about eleanor. knows how to bide her time. deserves her status as a last woman standing.

5. mrs hudson

her! career! of! international! espionage! also the possibility of her seducing eleanor and their running away to london. my ideas are good.

4. eme

seems to be doing important work but almost always off-screen, you know? (madi/silver is good but also consider: madi/eme, ruling nassau together. I’m not sure how this would tie in with actual historical fact, but I already asked myself that question a lot throughout black sails so who cares anymore.) (I saw a woman so beautiful I started crying.)

3. that spanish sailor

nearly kills vane, then gives a moving speech and provides fascinating information on spanish maritime laws before expiring; fucking magnificent. (in point of fact: spain was the main target of caribbean piracy and although most pirates thereabouts were english, irish, french or dutch, there were also spanish and portuguese pirates: ergo, inevitably, I would have made this guy a longterm character.) and I appreciate some lengthy non-english dialogue.

2. joshua

seems lovely. good theatrical instincts in battle. rightly protective of the dairy goat. even provided me with a teeny glimpse of the multilingual pirate show I want to see. his ghost rises up and avenges itself via vane’s fight with rogers and we are dancing on vane’s grave. (that might be a royal we, idc.)

1. joji

a prince among men. can deal with anything. best hair on the walrus. deserves so much better than this bullshit. aren’t you interested in a backstory that could link indo-chinese piracy to caribbean piracy? I am!!, which is why I’m even now reading kris lane’s pillaging the empire: global piracy on the high seas 1500-1750 to work out the details. I don’t see why this duty should fall to me instead of the writing team but somebody has to do it. (the remaining approximate third of the walrus crew have crushes on joji, prove me wrong.)

#black sails #spoilers #don't pick holes in my ranking system it's very sophisticated #when I said I was getting disproportionately invested in minor characters this is the burden to which I referred #long post

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amanekasai · 5 years

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an analysis of descendants 3 by yours truly

just so y’all know, this’ll probably be very unorganized and full of spoilers.

while descendants 3 is a good movie, it opens some plot holes for the first two movies.

first, let’s address this problem: the obsession with fairy godmother’s wand in the first two movies.

so, i organized the magical items and stuff by level of power in ascending order.

uma’s necklace

mal’s magic (still deciding on where this would go, but i’m thinking it’s on par with uma’s necklace)

fairy godmother’s wand

maleficent’s staff

hades’s ember

why i ranked them like this isnt important right now. what’s important is that fg’s wand is basically pointless.

in d3, it’s shown audrey can just snatch up maleficent’s staff. in the first movie, maleficent asks for fairy godmother’s wand. now, why wouldn’t she ask for her staff, which is rightfully hers, not protected at all, and way more powerful than the wand?

in d2, uma demands for the wand (seriously, what’s up with people and the wand?). hades’s ember is 1. also more powerful than fg’s wand, and 2. literally on the isle. uma could have convinced celia to bring her to hades and get the ember, and use it to open the barrier.

this wasnt really important to d3, it just ticked me off a little. next topic: mal and hades’s relationship.

when hades and mal first appear together, they hate each other’s guts. by the end of the movie, which is about a day’s time, they’re even hugging. hades went from a deadbeat dad to seemingly caring for mal, even giving her the ember to keep.

next is.. the trailer.

the trailer made it seem like hades, celia, and uma were actually going to be threats, and that audrey would be more of a threat. it turns out that hades, celia and uma actually help out, and audrey’s really, really lame (i’ll get to that next). it also made it look like mal got her magic taken away? i don’t know what they did with that, but that part felt pretty weird in the actual movie. all in all, the trailer totally misrepresented the movie.

okay, this is the thing i feel most passionate about: how audrey was written.

imo, she was a pretty bad villain. yes, she had a good motive, but.. she really could have done better. she was defeated in what was basically a day. she said she wanted revenge against all of auradon (or something like that.), and the only things she did were make everyone in auradon prep sleep and turn some people to stone. i really wanted her to be a better villain, i was pretty disappointed...

so, in conclusion, descendants 3 is pretty good! it could use some more work, though. i feel the movie should have been longer and more developed. the music slaps but the details do not. i rate it a good 7/10.

#descendants #descendants 3 #isle of the lost #lmao i’m rambling. i really like descendants haha #i would totally remake the movie though #also?? they didnt bring back maleficent?? how dare

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portfolio- · 7 years

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Thoughts about Ruler: Master of the Mask, Part 10

(Note: This entry is going to be longer than the usual incoherent or coherent posts I've had. I'm still digesting all the feelings I have for this episode because wow, RMOTM actually had the potential to raise the bar.)

I must be a sadist. I watched The Throne last Tuesday, then I watched today's episode. I've mourned Yoo Ah In's Sado, now I mourn for Yoo Seung Ho's Lee Seon (albeit for a short period of time).

The episode last night depicted a good picture of the main theme of this show imo, power, which fits just right as we move headfirst to the climax of the story.

(I’ll be a decent person for once and put this expand post thing here because this entry has more spoilers than I think should be spilled).

Dae Mok proved to be the best villain out of all in the show as he nitpicked on all his enemies. In one swoop, with the fake King's help, he managed to get absolute power within the court and in extension, Joseon. He loves (with whatever is left of his blackened heart) his granddaughter, as we've seen throughout the series, but will not waver in the name of his organization. He tortured the true king with his lover and his most loyal friend, knowing that beneath the regality, he is simply a man who protects the people he care about. I could already feel the satisfaction of seeing him dead when this series ends, in whatever form it will reach him. Props to Heo Jun Ho for being very, very effective on his role.

I feel bad for the queen dowager, but then again, the better villain always prevails. I will miss her being at the top of her game. Kim Sun Kyung is becoming one of my favorite actresses to watch in her generation, second to Jeon Mi Sun.

Hwa Goon actually gained my sympathy this time as her grandfather forced her to bend to his will. I liked the interaction she had with her father, that the latter's love always prevails. They gained my sympathy because beneath all the bullshit they experienced from the head of their family, they never lost the ability to care for each other. I still dislike her for forcing herself to the true king (especially at this episode), but actually felt sad at the idea that she would surrender everything to him. I'll discuss more on the true king later. For now, it will suffice to say that had the true king held hands with Pyunsoo Group by marrying Hwa Goon, it will only ruin them both. I hate her for slapping Ga Eun because the latter has no idea (again, who’s fault is this?) because she had no fucking right. Who set the ball ralling in the first place? Huh? (slaps Hwa Goon because you need to wake up too girl!!) But what takes the cake for me was when Gon lied to Hwa Goon for her sake! And how it breaks Gon to betray his master. Why did the writers fucking threw their pairing aside?! (screams) And when Hwa Goon actually pressed the sword on Gon's neck with the latter remaining steady on his resolve! What a parallel with our main leads. Had the writers went this way, I would have liked Hwa Goon more (even just a smidge of it). Anyway, thumbs up to Kim Seo Kyung for portraying Gon this way, worming in my heart after that fucking Hyun Suk betrayed us all. In the case of Yoon So Hee, she has her moments, but she still feels exhausted to me when she gets angry (except for that scene with Gon). I would have wanted an extra oomph from her, because Hwa Good could have been more likable on my part had she brought the same degree on intensity as the other leads.

The one receiving my ire once more (Actually, not just ire. I want so bad to slap him. I want to inflict physical character on him fucking asshole.) is the fake king. YOU FUCKING POSER GET OFF YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE AND FIGHT ME!!!!! (screams) He became a corrupted, guiltless puppet whose selfish intentions ruined the lives of those who actually care for him. FUCK YOU FAKE KING. Just when we thought he was in the right position to help the true king and his lover, jealousy takes over. AIN'T GONNA TAKE MY BABY GIRL'S HEART BASTARD. I hate him so much right now I want to run a sword through him, harakiri style. He fails to see how he would never win Ga Eun's heart. He actually had the nerve to console her after telling her of the true king's "death". FUCK YOU UGH DIE!!!!! In terms of acting, Kim Myung Soo actually played his role fine. While not to the level of his true counterpart (discussed later), he actually managed to bring about this rage within me (for his character).

(Pauses to take a deep breath)

Now, let's go to my babies because HOW DARE YOU WRITER-NIM HURTING THEM GAAAAAAAAAAAH (slaps left and right).

Let's start with our beloved Chung Woon. It's about damn time he confessed to Ga Eun that she was the one to behead her father. (I want to slap the true king for prolonging everyone's agony, but I'll let it slip this time because because because!!! You'll see later.) Can you see how understanding Ga Eun would have been had the truth been told to her all this time? (glares at writer-nim) The fact that she actually comes with Chung Woon proves that. Also, his bromance shone again in this episode, when Dae Mok used him as another bait for the true king to join Pyunsoo Group. WHY DID YOU DO THAT AHHHHHH WHY DID YOU BLIND MY CHUNG WOON! But maybe it is fitting for his guard career to end like this, his blindness as the price he paid for going with the late king's orders. But goodness, who will save the day now?

Another good thing in this episode was how Woo Bo bounced back to his usefulness being a true king's man. The subtle communication he had with the fake king provided him with the answers he needed, and I'm so damn excited for him to execute a plan of action versus Pyunsoo Group. By being fired, so to speak, Woo Bo was placed in the right position to sequester the loyal followers of the true king during his time as the chief peddler. Remember what the true king/chief peddler asks in return, the loyalty of the people he aided as he trained to become who he has been right now? This is the perfect time to call on them. And thank you, Park Chul Min, for being our endearing drunkard. I look forward to your "mental" battle with Dae Mok.

And now. MY BABIES. (hugs YSH and KSH)

I'll start with the true king because damn Yoo Seung Ho, you're giving me a run for my money. This time, we see the true king fight Pyunsoo Group not as a leader, but as a lover. Do I hate him for it, for letting his emotions get the best of him? At first thought, I would have. That's reckless. That's insane. That's not worth it. (This is me speaking with my mind over matter perspective.) But then, watching the entire episode, facing Pyunsoo Group is some sort of rite of passage not just for him, but for Ga Eun as well. I like how dignified he carried himself at the beginning, and how Dae Mok broke him little by little until he was left with no other choice but to relent. He was a gentleman to Hwa Goon through it all, and his standing by his principles and his heart only made him shine all the more. He wouldn't take Hwa Goon because he was a decent person who wouldn't bring about that sort of pain even to his worst enemy. He wouldn't take power that was stolen or taken by spilled by blood. He would not be seduced by power, especially when it stemmed from evil. He would not ascend at the expense of other people, and that's what makes him a good person. I think that is what makes Hwa Goon not appeal to him, because at the core of her kindness towards him is the selfishness that would always be a step away from topping over the edge. We could hate him for his decisions, but we couldn't fault him for wanting what's best for those around him.

And when Dae Mok blinded Chung Woon and he suddenly screamed "Master Dae Mok!" Oh my gosh. I love watching the true king break down. So in character, so true of his vow as the leader of his people.

As a lover, he demanded respect for Ga Eun when she was unceremoniously dragged by Dae Mok's men because in his eyes, she is the rightful queen to his king. He would put her safety first, whether or not he knows that the odds are against him. He would risk his neck if that meant she would not be involved anymore. He took the poison to save Ga Eun, which was his initial intention. At this point, if it were any other actor/person, I would be screaming at how stupid he had been, but YOO SEUNG HO DAMN. He made us feel the depth of his love for the woman who always had his heart, and like any sucker for undying first loves, I succumbed to the storm of emotions brewing within me and cried my heart out.

And Han Ga Eun, the most powerful pawn in the show. The bait to both Lee Suns. The subject of hate and jealousy of Hwa Goon. This episode is another revelation to her, an extension of the trauma-inducing exchange with the true king. Finally, she asked the truth about her father's death to the right person. Finally, she held her own to Hwa Goon face to face (When she was slapped, I was like "Oh no you didn't!" Then when she stopped the latter from slapping her again, I was like "Yeah show her!"). Seriously, Hwa Good had no right after all her actions. Gets Ga Eun's father killed now this? Ha! Going back, I hate the fake king continued to appeal to her by using their old friendship. (One of these days, someone should hand me that asshole's ass.) Now that she would be concubine to the fake king, she would be in the perfect position to make things work for the good. Even if she thinks the true king dead (saving the best for last), I really, really hope they make the best use of her, as the last piece standing. Come to think of it, the queen is the most powerful chess piece right? I shouldn't but I am anticipating some showdown with her on the lead. She is the only hope of the "light" side with everyone thinking the true king dead. From what I could see, she is the best bet of the inner court with Mae Chang and the Chief Eunuch as her guide.

And lastly. Gosh. I know the mourning is short lived, but oh my gosh, did Kim So Hyun and Yoo Seung Ho make me cry like a baby. On the verge of taking the poppy wine, Ga Eun tried to prevent the true king from drinking the poison. The way she told him she would not forgive him for wasting her father's death, then the way she called him His Majesty and telling him that she already knows the truth (I really hate the writers right now for this torture, but I'll take what I can get.) Her desperate cries. Lee Sun calling her "Ga Eun-ah". The moment it hits him that she knows the truth.

The small smile he gave her before drinking the poppy wine (thinking about this scene makes me teary-eyed ugh come on). That small smile reminds me of that scene in Goblin wherein Kim Shin finally defeated the ghost of his enemy and realized that Eun Tak will be safe even at the cost of his immortal life. Here we have two men realizing that they finally get to do something good/save the women they love.

The way Lee Sun fell. The way Ga Eun held the sword to push it out of her way to hold Lee Sun. And that heartbreakingly sad confession. "From the first time I saw you, with all my heart, I loved you." His hand fell. Silence. That look of disbelief in Ga Eun's face. Then her cry. While Lee Sun's body was being carried away, the desperate way she tried to go after him.

WHY OH WHY IS THIS SCENE TORTURING ME

(Also, wow YSH and KSH. WOW. With Dae Mok clapping, you'd think he's clapping for the performance of the two rather than his victory.)

And her disbelief when the fake king confirmed (!!!!!!) that the true king is dead. "I still have so many things to tell him!" Reminds me of that scene in Moon Embracing the Sun when the court members stopped Yeo Jin Goo from running after Kim Yoo Jung as she was banished from the palace when she was cursed upon the request of the Queen Dowager. KSH gutted me.

I cried a lot. I'm so, so exhausted.

Anyway, to close this unbelievably long post, I think what appeals to me about RMOTM is the fine line power creates between good and evil. That the characters who are naturally good remain incorruptible makes me root for them all the more, good writing or not. RMOTM showed us the extremes these characters are willing to take to achieve their ultimate goals.

So to you who reached the end of this post, congratulations. I hope you don't feel as tired as I am composing this.

#spoilers #thoughts #ruler master of the mask #ruler: master of the mask #yoo seung ho #lee sun #han ga eun #kim so hyun #kim myung soo #kim hwa goon #yoon so hee #BREAK MY HEART COME ON

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