#the only good thing they changed is making Jeremiah bisexual | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychcpomp · 2 years

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: ̗̀➛ 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍

the mortal sun has risen and set a thousand thousand times, and HERMES is yet bound to the earthly realm, the reincarnation loop continues. this time their mortal coil has taken the shape of dylan o'brien, a human born on 24/08/1995, a virgo and named alexander rhys morgan.

TLDR found here

POWERS: the ability to manipulate anyone through persuasion, can feel the energy of spirits passing through wherever he was, mundane abilities and skills are enhanced during the night, above average speed when running (let's be real that's only handy for him when he's running away from authorities or ppl tryna break his nose)

FULL POWERS (not fully achieved but there's an inkling): getting into the minds of people, making them see and feel what he wants them to and would usually be used to play tricks on people, and the ability to communicate with the dead at night.

TW: familial death, car accident, mentions of mental health issues

PINTEREST / PLAYLIST / HERMES’ PLAYLIST

FULL NAME: alexander morgan

SEXUALITY & PRONOUNS: bisexual, he/him

ROMANTIC STATUS: single

BIRTHDAY: august 24th, 1995

HEIGHT: 5′9

HAIR: blonde buzzcut era

BIG SIX: virgo sun, aquarius moon, aries rising, leo venus, leo mercury, scorpio mars

PETS: a bombay cat named soup

HOMETOWN: brighton, england

ACCENTS: english accent mixed with slight australian over the years

OCCUPATION: bartender @ olympus nightclub

ROOMMATES: augustus henry keene

SIBLINGS: chloe “charming” morgan (adopted)

TATTOOS & PIERCINGS: a bunch of dumb little tattoos all over. most notably, a tattoo of a small SUN on his wrist, a CARTOONISH SNAIL on the back of his arm, and a SMILEY PIERCING

MENTAL HEALTH: depression (undiagnosed), ADHD (diagnosed from a young age)

MUSE INSPO: shawn spencer (psych), nick miller (new girl), summer (500 days of summer), robin scherbatsky (how i met your mother), lucien carr (kill your darlings), max wolfe (gossip girl), steve harrington (stranger things), jeremiah fisher (the summer i turned pretty), eleanor shellstrop (the good place), dylan lenivy (the quarry), lip gallagher (shameless)

BACKGROUND:

alex grew up in brighton, england surrounded by a family he loves and that loves him. he had a good social life and okay grades. as a kid, he was always known to have a bright and loud personality, the kind of crazy in a child that was endearing and charming (yet extremely annoying to both of his sisters). he was always known that he would grow up to be a troublemaker, since he discovered his love for causing it from a young age. his mother (scarlett hart) was a child psychologist, and his father (james morgan) was a stay-at-home dad and an aspiring author. he actually named his son alexander after one of his main characters of a book he was planning on publishing. his older sister was isabelle morgan, and his younger sister was adopted when he was really young -- chloe morgan, better known as charming morgan, as she prefers.

//TW: MENTIONS OF DEATH AND LOSS// tragedy struck when he turned 13, and was woken up to the sounds of his father crying in the living room and red and blue lights coming in through his window. his mother and older sister had gotten into a car accident after she had picked isabelle up from a party she wasn’t supposed to be at, and they both died that same night from the impact. things around their house changed after that -- their father stopped writing, and tried his best to be a good father for both alex and charming but even alex could see that he was barely hanging on. charming had begun to rebel, putting even more worry onto alex and james -- james was more understanding and forgiving, because he knew it was probably her way of coping.

one year later, james impulsively decided that a fresh start was needed for them all, and wanted to move the family to magnetic island. as a 14 year old boy who had already gone through so much loss, alex was surprisingly in support of this -- he didn’t know why, and couldn’t explain it, but when he heard ‘magnetic island’, it’s like something in him clicked. he didn’t know what it was, but he felt it. and so, after a couple long months of getting ready for the big move, they finally made it -- just in time for alex to turn 15.

he loved his new life there -- he was finally beginning to feel like himself again. in fact, he feels like he’s exactly where he belongs, it’s as if the island brought out things in alex that he didn’t know about himself or things he didn’t know he was capable of. his fun, troublemaking nature came back to him, his need for fun and a party returned -- he was happy here. after he graduated school, charming had taken off to the states to pursue a life of her own -- something that james and alex weren’t too excited about, given she was only 16. but even at 16, charming could always take care of herself. alex, however, didn’t think that university was for him; he worked a couple of jobs here and there, and even got into a bit of gambling when he realized how GOOD he was at calling people’s bluff and manipulating others into scoring a win for himself. it was around 18 that alex first realized how good he was at persuading others to do whatever he wanted them to do, and at many points in his life, he took advantage of it. but most of the time, he just used it to fuck with people and entertain himself.

finally, at 22, he settled into a bartending job at olympus nightclub that he loved, so here he was -- 25 and still working there. in reality, at some point int he future, alex wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a writer, as well. but for someone so brave with everything else in his life, he had a hard time showing anyone else his writing for the time being.

PERSONALITY:

alex is a funny, class clown type that isn’t afraid to speak his mind at all and is always looking for anyway to occupy his time, and always looking for a party. he’s really easy to get along with, but he also has a small, tiny bit of a temper that usually manifests itself into fucking with whoever pissed him off and becoming the most sarcastic, punchable piece of shit you’ll ever meet. he will instigate fights at bars when he’s bored, and most of the time, they escalate into physical fights that he certainly cannot win. but if you ask him, he’d do it again, enjoying the adrenaline rush that came with it. a walking red flag, i know.

while alex may seem really happy on the surface, he’s dealing with a great deal of mental health issues -- mostly episodes of depression. but he still refuses to admit that he has issues, and that he needs professional help. if you ask him, he’ll bark back and say i’m fine.

from a young age, though, he was diagnosed with ADHD -- his mother caught on quick, with her being a child psychologist, and immediately took him to get evaluated. alex still constantly forgets to restock and take his pills without constant reminders from charming and his dad, and it makes him super hyperactive, impulsive, and easily distracted/bored and eager to move onto the next thing.

he can’t help but have a flirty personality. if he’s bored, he’ll probably flirt with someone either just for the purpose of knowing he can get them if he wanted to, or to fuck around and hook up (he wasn’t exactly a commitment type guy at all) . sooooo yes he a Whore.

at the end of the day, alex wants to become a writer like his father — or he’ll dream about it, while he reads and writes as a hobby in his own private notebook.

he’s a non-conformist at heart, and will always try to go against the grain of society and its norms. he enjoys sparking reactions out of people.

HEADCANONS: he likes to wear eye makeup and nail polish a lot, mostly puts the obscure eye makeup on at events and parties. he has a black 67 chevy impala car that he is obsessed with. alex is aware that not only was he great at lying and manipulating, but he was also good at calling people’s bluff so he spends a good amount of time gambling in any way he finds, because he knows he’ll win. his cat, soup, is a rescue cat.

#eternal! intro

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b-rainlet · 4 years

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That bitch Ecco

*insert John Mulaney’s ‘She’s a bitch and I love her so much!’ here*

Why I like Them/Why I don’t

Her introduction is her punching Jerome in the face, how can someone not love her, omg.

I mean, we know nothing about her which maybe makes it harder to relate to her but I just think it makes her more intriguing. Like, what about her parents? Her Father apparently left when she was little, but what about her Mum?? When did she meet Jeremiah? Why the fuck did she pledge her life to him? Please, she’s a badass, why is she hanging around with him???

(Also where the fuck did she learn to fight, did she teach herself? Was she doing some kind of martial arts? Was she trained as a spy or something?? What is her past?????)

And then we have her going from a proxy to being Harley and like....once again, there’s no explanation as to why. I just enjoy thinking scenarios for her, wondering why she turned out the way she did and I am going through her tag daily, looking for some Ecco centric stuff - or even Eccomiah stuff that focuses on her a little (but she’s part of the female characters who get sidelined for Wayleska, just like Selina, which...I ship too! It’s nice! But sometimes I wanna have her tagged in a fic where she actually has a role aside from being mentioned once).

(Also I am a hypocrite and I hate when Selina is being pushed aside or forgotten when other Bruce ships come to play but I have some Selina/Jeremiah wips where I’m like ‘Bruce who????’ ahkdhaskjd, sue me for loving girls).

Also, Ecco is simply adorable and I saw her shake her head to rattle the bullet inside it and was like: Baby

(If Jeremiah won’t treat her right, I definitely will).

Favourite Episode/Favourite Season

She has so little episodes where she features, but she’s a delight in every scene she features in.

Favourite Season would probably be Season 5 because she has a bigger portion of screentime there and she’s Harley instead of Proxy or Mummer and while both of those personas are awesome (and fear-inducing), she’s a lot of fun crazy and unhinged.

Favourite Episode is Ace Chemicals, I’d say. Not that she has a big role in it (that would probably the scene where she fights Selina) but she’s interacting with Jervis there and that scene not only is my header but also made me ship them (and caters to my bisexuality alsjsadnln).

Also I have a fanfic in the works based on that scene because you cannot tell me that Jervis isn’t all heart-eyes over her.

(In my heart, every single villain adores Ecco and hates Jeremiah and they put up with him for her - but they’re all just quietly waiting for her to leave him lmao, they got the chocolate and roses ready, just in case).

Favourite Line

The only Ecco lines I have in my head are ‘Our cover is blownski’ and ‘She got me, Daddy’ and the last one made me fucking nauseous to listen to within the circumstances (I mean, deep fry Jeremiah? Really? No.) so I don’t have a favourite line I think.

But she also doesn’t talk much ashkhks, she either doesn’t talk at all as the mummer or let’s Jeremiah monologue.

(She’s probably more of a ‘Do it’ instead of talking about it girl and I stan her).

Favourite Outfit

ALL OF THEM

They’re all beautiful, props to the costume department

(also sorry you can't see them well, I used gifs from old edits that where still on my phone)

OTP

You would think it’s Eccomiah - and I do love them a lot - but I would give an arm and a leg for some Ecco/Jervis or Ecco/Selina content.

(Also Ecco/Bruce could be adorable and fucking hilarious at the same time, I love them).

Ecco is very much shippable with everyone and I’d read anything about her (pls I’m desperate).

(Also she deserves to be treated like a queen by someone to make up for the awful way Miah treats her in canon, so am I gleefully imagining scenarios of her leaving him and finding someone who treats her right while he’s cursing everything and feels miserable? Maybe).

Brotp

All the girls! Like Ecco and Ivy and Bridgit having meetups where Ivy and Bridgit keep telling her to dump her trash boyfriend askhjafbska

(But tbh, I can see every duo I’ve listed as an OTP as a Brotp too and vice versa. I mean...., you should like your spouse as a friend too askdkjdbkb).

Idk why, but I can’t really warm up to Ivy/Ecco (which is basically Harley/Ivy), but maybe that’s precisely because it would be like Harley/Ivy and I’m not really a fan of those two.

(I also have to admit that I enjoy Ecco a lot more than Margot Robbie’s version of Harley Quinn).

Headcanon

Umm...idk? I kinda thought about her being russian? But I think that’s quite a popular thought, I saw some people mention it before!

My headcanons usually change to adapt the current au I am thinking about but a hc I keep in most of them is that Ecco was pretty straight to the point before she became Harley and that she isn’t one for social cues. She’s blunt.

(Which for me mostly means that Jeremiah pre-spray tried to flirt with her and she just. Didn’t respond to any of it. Not because she isn’t interested but because she doesn’t think much about Miah offering her things like sleeping in the guest bedroom. Makes sense, he works late and she’s within reach in case he needs anything, while he overthinks everything and basically offered her to move in with him lmao).

Unpopular Opionion

Idk if that’s unpopular but she’s a really good Harley Quinn version (I think all their villain versions are very good? Like, they also have the best joker version(s), Gotham knows how to entertain me).

A wish

Please, whoever’s in charge, drop what the writers would’ve done with her if Gotham wouldn’t have been cancelled, I am curious.

Was she meant to die and be replaced at one point to show how Miah is actually looking for the ‘finished’ Harley version, like it’s alluded to in the finale? If she’s not his forever companion, would she have betrayed him at some point? Or if she is supposed to be Harley, would she have teamed up with Ivy at some point?

Would we have gotten more scenes of her interacting with other villains? Would we have seen a bit more of her past or maybe a flashback scene of the shooting?

(I don’t think so, they probably would’ve kept her an insignificant side character but an enby can dream).

Also, if I’m already wishing, someone release the cut scenes involving her.

An oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen

Finale? Which Finale? Gotham ends with Bruce leaving and nothing happens after that :)

5 words to best describe them

I’ll give you four ;)

Endearing

Cuckoo

Consecrated (to sth.)

Overlooked

My nickname for them

WIFEY

#Ecco

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brooklynfm · 3 years

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{ aisha dee. twenty-six. cis woman. she / her} Did you see BROOKLYN MCCARTHY left their door cracked open again. You think they’d learn after living in 3A for TWO YEARS. Last time they did this you could hear LIABILITY by LORDE blasting in the hallway. If you passed by you might have even caught a glimpse of them DOODLING IN THEIR FAVORITE SKETCHBOOK. The rest of the floor says they can be CLUMSY and MAGNANIMOUS . Seeing them in the halls always reminds me of THE BRIGHT SOUND OF JOYOUS LAUGHTER, STRAWBERRY SCENTED PERFUMES FILLING EVERY ROOM SHE WALKS INTO, and LATE NIGHT TEXTS LEFT ON READ. { raq / she/her / cst }

okay hello!! you’ll probably catch me on discord but you’re welcome to dm here too. quick introduction i’m raq and this intro is... a bit messy. i’m ironing out brooklyn a little more so if she’s totally different in a week -- pretend she isn’t lmao. i love love love to plot with you guys and get writing asap ( i miss writing SO much). sorry if this intro is a bit long like i said, still working out the kinks. alright, hit me up!

full name: brooklyn layla mccarthy

gender: cis woman

pronouns: she / her

nicknames: lyn or/and brooks

age: twenty - six

date of birth: march 18th

sign: Pisces

place of birth: new york, new york ( the bronx )

sexuality: bisexual

biography / ( tw; divorce mentions, I think that’s it ! )*

Lydia Sheffield often describes the day she learned she was pregnant was the “final bullet” to an already dying relationship with her parents. At the ripe age of 16, Lydia had to confess to her ultra religious parents that she was pregnant with 17 year old Myles McCarthy’s child. The middle class and conservative Sheffield family were absolutely furious. Her father, Jeremiah Sheffield and his wife, Esther Sheffield were so indignant that their own daughter would go against their purity beliefs they kicked her out. Naturally, it was the McCarthy family who took Lydia Sheffield into their own home. Lydia and Myles were madly in love, despite both of their parents' critiques of them being so young. The couple decided to simply get their GED’s and work on saving up for a place of their own. and, lucky for them, the McCarthy’s already owned a second house just a few blocks away. gotta love having the convenient landlords for parents They rented it out to Myles and Lydia as an easy way to stay close to their future grandchild.

Myles McCarthy always talks about how bitter cold it was the day his only daughter was born. a long, painful, thirteen hour labor led to the birth of their pride and joy.

There was nothing under the sun that Brooklyn didn’t try. A childhood filled with chasing the whim and wonder of a forever curious child. At age five she would’ve already tried and hated ballet. By six, it was piano. Seven, soccer. Yearly, changing hobbies and interests and never truly getting very good at any of them ( she’d never stick to them long enough ). Up until she was around eight when she dove into her grandmother’s old painting set, easel and all left behind in their old shed. It was like love at first brush, painting was the first outlet that Brooklyn had and never strayed away from. Suddenly, her days were filled with the billions of colors and canvases of scribbles resembling her mother’s favorite flower or the neighbor’s dog she loved so dearly. Growing up only a child to a hardworking, young waitress and a mechanic, Brooklyn spent a good amount of time in quiet solitude and vying for her parents' costly attention with her latest works of art. Time is money thus their hectic work schedules didn’t exactly allot tons of bonding time with their daughter. A lonesome childhood that only led such a glowing extrovert to really shine in school. Though her reasonable likability doesn’t exactly lead to popularity. Brook was hardly popular and didn’t really have a stable friend group most of the time. Not for lack of trying, however. She was a clear social chameleon who tried to get along with anyone. Not quite fitting in but not really belonging either. A real people pleaser -- which almost always lends to teenhood of bad circumstances in a multitude of friendships and relationships.

And her teen years only got progressively more complicated. Remember how her parents were so “in love”? Well, the lack of time for their daughter bred a lack of time for each other as well. Big surprise, her mother was a serial cheater. Her late night jobs at the diner were actually trips she’d take to go see some guy named Peter. Of course, having gone to the diner just to surprise his wife only to see she wasn’t even there, Myles always suspected she was cheating on him. Lydia got a bit reckless and brought the man home one day while Myles was out of town. Brooklyn walked in on them and their marriage was history. After this, her relationship with her mother weakened as her father grew even more distant -- willfully burying himself in his work rather than properly coping with his emotions despite gaining full custody of his daughter. The burned marriage and constant worry for money a big distraction in being heavily involved in her life. .

Going away for college and making it on her own was meant to be her way out of her small town. Getting into NYU with her portfolio studying studio art, things were looking quite bright for Brooklyn even despite her fragile relationship with the only family she has back home. Though, she’d soon discover her talents aren’t getting her nearly as far as she hoped. So now, with a healthy bit of debt and a decent job at an art museum -- the life of a lost and very lonesome late twenty-something is in full swing. She spends a good chunk of her free time out at bars or painting in her room, wondering if this is really all her life will come to be.

personality / ( musing tag here ! ) *

Her independence is huge to her, likes being able to care for herself and others without help. A real motivated go-getter type ( though as of the last few years, she is struggling to remain optimistic ). Brooklyn is booksmart. But, still has plenty of maturing to do. Can be perceived as naïve in that regard due to her people pleasing and will to do... essentially anything to be liked.

Just a sweet soul deep down and very loyal. Subsequently, tends to be the first to forgive anyone no matter how much they might’ve slighted her. Horrid at taking criticism ( she’s very sensitive) definitely the type to sugar coat the truth to save someone’s feelings.

Impulsive to a fault, probably has a billion stories of the crazy she has gotten herself into. Clumsy meaning she tends to just stumble into and fumble through situations for better and ( the more likely option ) for worse. While loyal to a fault often, she’ll change her mind quickly loose interest in frivolous relationships. Not very smooth with letting people down or saying no either.

To sum up, I feel like she gives off really great positive vibes. Just cozy caring warm that is somewhat a mask to hide her constant indecisive impulsivities and craving for belonging. ( that got... emo -- ksdfjasd )

wanted connection / ( click here for some more ideas ! ) *

tbh i’m down for whatever you guys might need for your muses but off the top of my head...

would love to see a best friend or two ! the first few people she grew close to during her time at floor3

college friends

work friends ( not just at the museum, could’ve met while she was in college at part-time job )

exes turned really good friends

really anything!

#intro.

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expressmelancholia · 5 years

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JESSE ST. JAMES BIO / HEADCANONS

gender identity: cis male sexuality: bisexual occupation: verse dependant + to be added ( broadway performer, broadway director, coach, working at a performance school ) birthday: november 18th father: joseph st. james mother: monica james brother: jeremiah james sister: anastasia james

born into a musically gifted family, jesse was raised to follow his talents & improve them consistently. if he wasn’t constantly outdoing his last performance, he wouldn’t feel adequate enough to upkeep his attitude & reputation. he wouldn’t define himself as an asshole for behaving the way he does. thanks to constant praise & the understanding of his own abilities, he feels entitled to show off. it’s only in times being swept up in silly pranks or the harsh world of show choir that he finds himself doubting his morals. he’s not proud of his actions when he realizes the damage they cause, but once he starts maturing he quickly evaluates the way he talks to people & the things that cross a line. spite & ego are still struggles for him, which make his attitude cross the line once more. however he doesn’t believe that’s who he is anymore. he’s more comfortable showing his kind side, rather than going behind peoples backs when he wanted to compliment them. & teaching became less about demand & dissect. with the help of better company & the things he’s gone through changing his perspective, jesse is now a more fulfilled therefor respectable person.

jesse has two major aspirations in life, performance & teaching. he truly enjoys guiding others to their success. however he does still desire being on stage & showing off his own skills.

jesse’s a major romantic so whoever he is in a relationship with will be given plenty of his time & attention, though he does like to focus on his career too. he likes love & work to be connected for that reason. so being involved in what his significant other does & them doing the same is a big part of him being in a relationship.

jesse likes his full name for the drama of it all as he’s a self proclaimed drama queen

jesse grew up with a fairly good family despite being pushed so hard in his performance. he takes this as inspiration & tries not to let his emotional connection to success drive him to be obsessive & ruthless

jesse admires shelby & even will but he prefers shelby as he can relate to her more

jesse is close to his family however he isn’t afraid to bring up their baggage or call them out on it so there’s often tension especially since most of them do the same

jesse loves hard work & is a perfectionist, so he’d likely never be happy just being a family man, he wants both

#( you're more of a drama queen than i am ) insp.#i will edit & change & add to this !#i am so dumb omg

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hvckleberried · 5 years

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yeah, he’s smoking inside. fucking sue him. miles leans back against the countertop and watches these idiots actually work. he takes a long drag. blinks. are you gonna, like, help at all, man? his exhale’s elongated; he watches his own breath fade into the rafters.

“ oh, does this bother you ? ” he asks, feigning concern. even cocks his head to the side for good measure. he lifts the cigarette in question to confirm their distaste. the other boy nods. miles’s forefinger taps against the cig and flicks ash onto his stupid west ham high shirt. and there it is. the smirk.

“ my. bad. ”

or, alternatively : ‘tis i, linc, with *dj khaled voice* anotha one !! greetings & salutations to huckleberry jeremiah vernon. call him MILES or he actually might kill you.

[ m i l e s v e r n o n –– OPEN FLAME .

✔ oc + wc┊❝ ( aria shahghasemi. he/him &. cismale ) eighteen year old huckleberry jeremiah vernon was listening to "paint it, black” by the rolling stones when the field trip buses turned around. rumor has it he spent two years in juvie & is the unbeknownst father of becca’s child, but who knows if that’s true? what we do know is that their friends describe them as alluring & deft, even if they’re known to be a little anarchic & noxious from time to time.

( &&. general information )

full name: huckleberry jeremiah miles vernon

nickname(s) or alias: miles, vernon, fuckleberry finn ( west ham football team, freshman year ), that asshole, the scary one, the kid ( his foster parents )

preferred name: miles. call him anything else and it’s your funeral, fuckface.

current age: eighteen

astrological sign: scorpio

gender: cismale

preferred pronouns: he/him

sexual preference: bisexual

romantic preference: biromantic

home environment: the kiersney household. a manor-like three-story at the edge of west ham’s easternmost woods. it looks like ikea ate pier 1 imports and fucking barfed up its bones the next day. statement walls. matching furniture. modern art on the walls. his foster parents have a motherfucking sculpture in the front foyer. it’s sickening. suburban. tame. tidy.

current occupation: student. delinquent.

language(s) spoken: english. i’ll-wring-your-neck-with-just-my-eyes. spanish, barely.

native language: english.

current relationship status: his knuckles kissing your face.

( &&. background )

reason behind name: huckleberry jeremiah vernon won his name in the lottery of misfortune: at least, that’s what his aunt used to say to the young boy. he doesn’t know a lot about his parents. enough to know they were royal fuck-ups, crackheads with nothing better to do than fuck and get high and have an accidental kid. they thought it’d be a hilarious form of payback: this monster takes nine months of their precious time, so they’d make his life hell. simple. so when his parents died when he was just an infant, his aunt had the opportunity to change his name. shift the tide. but she couldn’t bring herself to go against her dead sister’s wishes, however fucking twisted up she got because of her bad-news boyfriend. she took huckleberry in and insisted on calling him by his birth name until, at three years old, he was sent home from school with a drawing of his aunt with x’s for eyes. “ my auntie if she keeps saying it ”. from that day forward, he was jeremiah. then miles. only miles.

birth order: first and only for his biological family. the second-youngest of his cousins, when he lived with his aunt. they had a massive falling out after he returned from juvie. she chucked him out like he was rotten meat. the oldest ( or perhaps same age ) as his current foster brother.

ethnicity: what’s it to you. iranian-american

nationality: american.

religion ( tw: death, acts of violence ): fuck that shit. there’s no god. if there were a god, it’d be fucking him. this wasn’t always miles’s view; it started when he was 4, and accidentally killed his aunt’s cat in front of his cousins. they always hit people when they were doing something wrong in cartons! the cat was trying to steal his cheese stick. so... he hit it with a book. his aunt she made him go to bible camp that summer, where he was vilified for his name. “huckleberry’s a dingleberry! hahaha! where’s tom sawyer, huh?” whatever god there was wouldn’t let him have this name. or this life. he wouldn’t have let his parents die: huckleberry would later find the news clipping. “ bronx couple found shot dead in stolen vehicle, ruled double-suicide. ” religion’s the opiate of the masses. it’s how pansy people sleep at night. young huckleberry wasn’t allowed back at church after he dropped one of those big candles and watched the altar go up in flames. fine by him. he started playing with fire. messing with the wrong people. getting wrapped up in sketchy city boy shit. any shred of faith left in his body was torn away when he and his older buds planned to rob a bank: miles was 12; his cohorts ( ty & presley ) were 18. miles did most of the electronic work: hacking the cloud, derailing the security system. they stormed the fucking bank of america. one of them whipped out a gun. miles... stabbed somebody in the shoulder, to get them off of ty. he watched that security guard die, that day. but not before his bullet ripped through ty’s head. juvie happened. two years. aggravated manslaughter. he got off easy, as a minor. presley’s still behind bars. so, yeah. there’s no motherfuckin’ god out there. and if there is? he can kindly suck miles’s dick.

political views: politics. are. bullshit. go cry to somebody else about your opinions. there’s 7 fuckin’ billion people on this planet and you think your thoughts on zoning laws and gun control matter? cry him a fucking river.

financial status: he’s secure, because of his foster parents. he keeps testing ‘em, to see if they’ll fuckin’ send him back. broken merchandise; we want a refund. but they don’t, so he... just keeps taking. stealing money from their wallets. selling expensive shit from the house to buy good shit. pocket knives. lighters. alcohol. a gun.

hometown: bronx, new york city, new york. now it’s west ham. fuck that.

level of education: high school junior. because of his time in juvie, he entered school in west ham as a freshman at 15. he’ll turn nineteen before his senior year. not that it matters. he’s already planning his escape. he’s lifted enough money to skip town soon, go back to new york. avenge ty’s death. he’s got the other security guard’s details, from that day. it pays to be skilled with a keyboard. he’s brilliant, when he wants to be. sharp-witted. his idea of a prank last year was sending an anonymous tip in to the school saying the whole place might blow. hacking the database to make it look like it was sent from a real address. he’s still surprised people aren’t more fucking grateful. he secured them a stupid day off. he’s also known to hack into the cloud to get test answers, and sell ‘em to people that don’t completely make him want to punch them.

( &&. physical appearance )

looks like (or face claim, if applicable): aria shahghasemi. he’s got these midnight black curls. piercing gray eyes.

height: 5′10. but don’t let that get your guard down.

figure/build: lean and muscular. won’t be caught dead in west ham’s stupid gym, but he’s fit. his foster parents put in a whole boxing studio in their basement just for him. he’s been known to get into fights, throw punches. it was their way to kind of, like... get his anger out. joke’s on them; he’s not giving it up. that shit’s his.

hair colour: black.

hair length: mid-length. curly, so it looks shorter than it actually is.

eye colour: gray.

glasses?: no. just shades.

skin tone: olive. smooth.

tattoos: he got one in juvie, on the side of his right wrist. a cross. makes him laugh. irony. he’s in the process of self-tattooing fuck between his left forefinger and thumb, but only the jagged f is there right now. it’s a process. he can’t stomach the needle.

piercings: one diamond stud in his left ear. it’s about the side of a pencil eraser. stolen.

birthmarks/scars/distinguishing marks: a few faded cross-hatches near his hairline, from fights that resulted in stitches. a six-inch line across his chest. knife. a few patches of scar tissue from burns on his palms. all juvie.

dominant hand: left-handed. you can tell because that’s the hand he always uses to flick his lighter on and off, on and off. he’s always playing with that damned thing.

if painted, what color are their nails?: who do you think he is, fuckin’ bowie? jesus.

usual style of clothing: black on black on black. did i mention black? black t-shirts, leather jackets, denim jackets, dark jeans, boots. wouldn’t be caught dead in fuckin’ sneakers. failed gym because he wasn’t about to put on dowdy shorts and t-shirts just to run around a glorified prison for 30 minutes every day. oh, there’s a pep rally? we’re supposed to wear centurion colors? fuck you.

frequently worn jewelry: he wears a thin gold chain around his neck every day. sometimes he’s got rings.

describe their voice, what accent?: his voice is very punchy, low. cat-like. glimmers of some new york peppered in here and there.

what is their speaking style (fast, monotone, loquacious)?: clipped. acidic.

describe their scent: amber. tobacco. smoky.

describe their posture: he stands tall, defiant, aloof. chin always tipped up in the face of oncoming threats. his whole body’s a proverbial middle finger to the world: yeah, i’m here. bite me.

( &&. legal information )

any speeding tickets?: yep. went 80 in a 25 zone.

have they ever been arrested?: yes. at this point, the west ham police force is really tired of his shit.

do they have a criminal record?: absolutely. various misdemeanors. cybercrimes. property damage, breaking & entering. shoplifting. aggravated assault.

have they committed any violent crimes?: hAs He CoMiTtEd AnY vIoLeNt cRiMeS ??? ( he’s laughing. )

property crimes?: affirmative.

traffic crimes?: should be the least of your concern.

other crimes?: don’t even get me started. the moral compass on this kid is... nonexistent. the answer to the world’s problems is fuck ‘em. anarchy.

( &&. medical information )

blood type: o negative.

date/time of birth: december 3rd. 3:32am. witching hour. ha.

place of birth: shitty hole-in-the-wall crackhouse. his parents dropped him at his aunt’s before freewheeling.

vaginal birth or cesauren section?: vaginal birth.

sex: male.

smoker? / drinker? / drug user?: yes / yes / yes. what can he say? he’s an equal-opportunity employer.

allergies: grizz visser. fuckin’ ass. nosy people. pop music.

ever broken a bone?: his nose in second grade: the other kid got it worse. his hand in fifth grade. worth it. couple ribs in juvie. his arm, when he was a baby. his parents wanted to see if gravity was, like. real.

any physical ailments/illnesses/disabilities: nah. not that he’d tell you anyway.

any medication regularly taken: nyquil, sometimes. helps him sleep.

( &&. personality )

direct quote from them: *blinks at you like you’re speaking swahili*

positive traits: alluring, deft, crafty with computers. sly.

negative traits: anarchic, acerbic, explosive. heedless. noxious.

likes: the flick of the flame. beat poetry. darkroom photography. scared glances. messing with the system. sidestepping boundaries. wintergreen lifesavers. blueberry slushies. ac/dc, the stones, lynyrd skynyrd, sting, the offspring, kansas. buttered toast. milk duds. history. cigarettes: he’s always got one tucked behind his ear.

dislikes: fucking football team. working on yearbook ( detention punishment ). catch him taking photos of those morons with his middle finger in frame. his roots. his aunt, for casting him out. his foster family, for giving him so many chances. he doesn’t deserve them. his name. bright sunlight, hurts his eyes. pistachios. remembering. weak alcohol. fraternizing with the idiots of west ham.

strengths: he’ll figure out your nervous ticks within two minutes of talking to you. he can go hours watching someone ramble and not say a thing, and not break his expression. making others feel small. digging his fingers into your dirt. finding back doors, loopholes, and getting through cybersecurity like a hot knife through butter. baking – but tell anybody and he’ll end you. tying cherry stems with his tongue. making sense of ginsberg. remembering stupid historical facts. pope gregory ix executed cats and that allowed rats to spread the bubonic plague in masses. still fuckin’ like your religion, asshole?

weaknesses: vengeful. his definition of justice is very much based in vigilante action; an eye for an eye. he’s got an aloof disposition, but his past wounds are still seething. empathy. expressing emotions other than anger. patience. impulse control. he can’t hide that you’re pissing him the hell off. swears in front of kids, often. probably slept with your aunt two towns over. can’t lose an argument, ever. even with authority figures.

insecurities: what if he... caused ty’s death? what if that’s on him? is he worth shit? he’ll make himself worth something. he’ll get them back. all of ‘em. he’ll make ‘em pay.

fears/phobias: hates needles. but fucks with ‘em anyway. fears oblivion, but puts up a front like he’s chill with it. fears he’ll never muster up... a purpose. or whatever the fuck people call it. fears this is all he’ll ever be: an eighteen-year-old fuckup with a record, hands that itch to fight, to crush, to destroy.

habits: playing with his lighter. chewing on toothpicks. popping milk duds like pills. glaring at everyone, no one, nothing. everything. laughing in the face of authority. making unprecedented digs at people, just because he can. propping his feet up on the desk in front of him when his teachers ask him to answer questions, twirling a pencil in his hands like he’s god. grabbing a slushie from 7/11 just to have something to do with his hands. messing with the popular kids’ social medias, just for fun. hacking the online lunch menu to see his classmates get fuckin’ pissed when mozzarella sticks are served on friday, not today, sorry. driving to neighboring towns’ parties and hooking up with chicks there. masquerading as a man with a reason. hitting up college parties often. lingering in shadow. living in gray areas. writing his own notes in the front of library books, on the title page, in sharpie. “ fuck you ten thousand ” on the school’s copy of pride & prejudice. “ kindly die, thanks ” in gone with the wind. “ congrats, you’re literate ” in the front of catcher in the rye.

quirks: always sits in the back left corner of the room, near the window. he literally jumped out, sophomore year, when the school security officer tried to bust him for selling pills to a freshman in the hall earlier that day. popping his earbuds in during lectures. maintaining unbroken eye contact with teachers as he does so. getting ~very close~ and speaking ~very low~. purring threats. can never drink lightly. skipping school often, fabricating online attendance to avoid suspension. barely eating the food his foster parents prepare. leaving the table early, unexcused. digging into the leftovers after everyone’s gone to bed. severing ties. if he’s lucky, never makin’ ‘em in the first place. his new yorkisms come out when he’s drunk, or high, or tired.

hobbies: darkroom photography. reading poetry. burning shit. smoking. walking around the mini mart like he’s a hunter in the wild, just to make the clerks uncomfortable.

guilty pleasure: he listens to “lore” and “my favorite murder”. but he disguises that shit, saving the album covers of the podcasts as seether.

desires: to avenge ty’s death. get the fuck outta west ham. to find a reason to be here. a reason why.

wishes: his parents didn’t kill themselves. cowards. they deserved to deal with him. they deserved to be tortured, for doing this to him. he wishes he hadn’t pulled that knife on his aunt. then at least he’d still be in new york city, instead of here, with this stupid fuckin’ foster family that just won’t let him go.

secrets: killed a guy. the reason for his juvie sentence is redacted on his public record. he’s lonely, a lot of the time. and, oh yeah: he’s becca’s baby daddy.

turn ons: no bullshit. sarcasm. intellect. no strings.

turn offs: sentimentality. smileyness. too much perfume. caring.

lucky number: 1. he’s all he’s got.

pet peeves: chewing gum: fucking pellegrino and his damned bubbles. bubbly people. cassandra pressman and the tree-sized stick up her ass. foot tapping. prying. school involvement. slow drivers. slow walkers. slow thinkers.

their motto: “ fuck you very much. ”

( &&. favourites )

food: falafel. shut up.

drink: he brought vodka to school in a water bottle once. diet coke.

fast food restaurant: wendy’s. he likes the chocolate frosties.

flavour: chocolate.

word: fuck. for a vast array of reasons.

colour: black.

clothing: his most worn leather jacket. touch it and he’ll end you.

accessory: the gold chain ‘round his neck. it was ty’s.

candle scent: smoke. tobacco. whatever that shit is, patchouli.

game: fuck games. fuck fugitive. leave him alone.

animal: he has such a soft spot for caterpillars.

holiday: christmas. he likes baking shit. but if that ever gets out, he’ll flip.

weather: pouring rain, with patches of sun in between. it’s rare, but damn. it’s kind of beautiful.

season: summer. fast drives, windows down. no school. no bullshit.

book: on the road, jack kerouac.

artist: aerosmith.

band/group: ac/dc, kiss, guns ‘n roses, van halen, def leppard.

song: we’re not gonna take it, twisted sister.

movie/film: star wars. fuck off, it’s good.

tv show: history docs. he likes those decade pieces on the history channel.

sport: boxing.

possession: his lighter.

number: 1.

person: that’s the dumbest question he’s ever heard. himself. he’s lying.

( &&. skills )

talents: hacking. lying. breaking rules. testing limits. photography. playing people.

ability to drive a car?: yes. recklessly.

can they ride a bike?: yes, chooses not to.

do they play any sports?: tonsil hockey. heartbreaking. boxing.

anything they’re bad at?: empathizing. serenity.

do they have any combat training? why?: yep. his friends in grade school. juvie.

( &&. firsts )

childhood memory: crushing a handful of cheerios in his tiny hands and feeling... powerful.

crush: ava watson. she said she liked his eyes.

email address: [email protected]

job: reception at a local gym in west ham. lasted a day; he punched a guy.

phone: flip-phone. now he’s got an iphone.

kiss: hanna parler. 6th grade. said she’d miss him before he left for juvie.

love: HA. nice try, dick.

sexual experience: josie thwaites. 6th grade. they didn’t know what the fuck they were doing.

( &&. childhood )

best childhood memory?: try again.

worst childhood memory?: seeing ty’s eyes go dim.

what were they like as a child?: angry. electric. not easily tamed.

any crushes growing up?: some. he doesn’t do that now. crushing.

( &&. this or that )

expensive or inexpensive tastes?: expensive.

hygienic or unhygienic?: hygienic.

open-minded or close-minded?: close-minded. his way or bust.

introvert or extrovert?: introvert. buzz off.

optimistic or pessimistic?: pessimistic. optimism’s dead.

daredevil or cautious?: daredevil. caution’s an early grave.

logical or emotional?: emotional.

generous or stingy?: stingy.

polite or rude?: rude. so rude.

book smart or street smart?: both.

popular or loner?: loner. notorious, though. everyone knows who he is. wonders what his deal is. he’s got this... dark magnetism. if you’re smart, you’ll stay away.

leader or follower?: leader. follows his own path. likes disrupting order.

day or night person?: night.

cat or dog person?: cat. despite what his childhood mistakes might lead you to believe.

closet door open or closed while sleeping?: open. come get him.

( &&. social media )

do they have a facebook? twitter? instagram? vine? snapchat? tinder/grindr? tumblr? youtube? yes to facebook and instagram. no twitter, no vine. has a snapchat, rarely uses it. yes to tinder.

if so; name on facebook: miles vernon.

instagram user: milesvernon.

snapchat user: milesvernon.

( &&. musical tastes )

theme song: paint it, black –– the rolling stones.

makes them sad: anything by the beatles. makes him think of his aunt’s apartment. and then he gets angry.

makes them dance: nope. he wouldn’t be caught dead dancing in front of the likes of you. when he’s drunk, anything with a decent beat will make him sway his hips a little.

( &&. miscellaneous )

do they have a fake i.d.?: hell yeah. a couple.

are they a virgin?: ha. no.

describe their signature: chaos. barely legible.

how long would they survive in a zombie apocalypse?: he’d bite a zombie’s fuckin’ head off, if that answers your question.

do they travel?: nah.

one place they would like to live: anywhere but here.

one place they would like to visit: anywhere but here.

celebrity crush: camila mendes. tell anybody and he’ll hunt you down.

what can you find in their pockets/wallet/purse: cigs. lighter. some form of tic tac.

place(s) your character can always be found: in the shadows. on rooftops. places he shouldn’t be.

when does your character like to wake up?: 7:03am. he doesn’t like rounded numbers.

how does your character spend their free days?: reading. burning some stuff. driving out to other towns to do reckless shit.

what’s your character’s bedtime routine?: read some poems. have a cigarette. knock out.

what does your character wear to bed?: boxers, no shirt.

if your character can’t fall asleep, what are they thinking about?: ty’s brains. that knife. juvie. getting back. making them pay.

what is their idea of perfect happiness?: revenge.

on what occasions do they lie?: on what occasions don’t they lie ?

most marked characteristic: his ghost-gray eyes. his smirk. his hair.

what is one thing they’d most like to change about themselves?: only one?

how would they like to die?: in a blaze of fucking glory.

do they snore? no.

can they curl their tongue?: yes.

can they whistle?: yep. he likes doing that yoo-hoo kind of whistle. makes people uncomfortable.

do they believe in the supernatural?: nope. bullshit.

has anyone ever broken their heart?: no.

have they ever broken anyone’s heart?: yes. on purpose.

are they squeamish?: not at all.

have they ever seen anyone die? what happened?: see above: ty. that security guard. he’s sure they won’t be the last.

are they a lightweight?: not at all.

#newhamhq: intro

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thecinephale · 5 years

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Best Movies of 2018

My favorite movies of the year were rough around the edges. Ambitious, personal works that were messy and real. There were a lot of big films this year that I personally didn't like that much (or at all), but I really love this list of films and I hope you check them out.

Still need to See: Bird Box, Border, Cold War, Custody, Dark River, I Am Not a Witch, On the Basis of Sex, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse, Summer '93, The Third Murder, Tyrel, Unsane, Where Hands Touch, Where is Kyra?

Films I didn't prioritize because someone involved has behaved in a way that makes me uninterested in their work: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, The Death of Stalin, The House That Jack Built, A Simple Favor

Really Liked: -Annihilation (dir. Alex Garland) -Blockers (dir. Kay Cannon) -Crazy Rich Asians (dir. Jon Chu) -Destroyer (dir. Karyn Kusama) -Let the Sunshine In (dir. Claire Denis) -Mary Poppins Returns (dir. Rob Marshall) -Mission: Impossible - Fallout (dir. Christopher McQuarrie) -The Rider (dir. Chloé Zhao) -Private Life (dir. Tamara Jenkins) -Skate Kitchen (dir. Crystal Moselle) -We the Animals (dir. Jeremiah Zagar) -You Were Never Really Here (dir. Lynne Ramsay)

Really Really Liked: -Eighth Grade (dir. Bo Burnham) -Happy as Lazzaro (dir. Alice Rohrwacher) -Leave No Trace (dir. Debra Granik) -Love, Simon (dir. Greg Berlanti) -Mary Queen of Scots (dir. Josie Rourke) -Nancy (dir. Christina Choe) -On Body and Soul (dir. Ildikó Enyedi) -Tully (dir. Jason Reitman)

Loved:

10. Black Panther (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Finally. Proof that Hollywood doesn’t have to choose between style, substance, and entertainment. Black Panther was the biggest film of the year and also one of the best. With stunning cinematography by Rachel Morrison, inspired costumes by Ruth E. Carter, and an album of the year worthy soundtrack by Kendrick Lamar, Ryan Coogler has broken through the Marvel machine to make something truly special. And like all the best superhero movies the supporting cast is incredible, Letitia Wright being the obvious standout, along with moral foils Michael B. Jordan and Lupita Nyong'o. This is everything I want from big budget filmmaking and it's such an exciting relief to be reminded that it's possible.

9. The Tale (dir. Jennifer Fox)

The Hollywood Reporter recently published an article about the 16-year-old girl who inspired Woody Allen's Manhattan. The woman, reflecting on her time with the director and known child molester, is unsure how to frame their time together. She was underage and knowing what she knows now about Allen, their affair feels different. But at the time she was in love. Reading this article, I felt overwhelming gratitude for filmmaker Jennifer Fox and The Tale, a painful and important movie about her own teenage love affair, about her own rape. Fox's vulnerability and skill not only make this a great movie, but a truly life-changing experience. There is one moment in particular that uses cinema in a way I've never seen before. This is by no means an easy film to watch, but it's really worthwhile if you can handle it.

8. Dirty Computer (dir. Janelle Monáe & others)

This "emotion picture" available to watch on YouTube strikes such a moving balance between pure joy, harsh reality, and cautious hope. Its very existence is a sign that its optimism is not misplaced. Musicians have become some of our greatest auteurs with voices and stories Hollywood would otherwise ignore. Janelle Monáe along with Chuck Lightning, Emma Westenberg, Alan Ferguson, and Lacey Duke created a film that is at once a sci-fi epic, a visual album, a public coming out, a celebration of queerness/Blackness/femaleness, and an ode to everybody different. This year was bleak and nothing brought me more comfort than this movie, this album, and obsessing over Monáe and star Tessa Thompson's relationship.

7. Good Manners (dir. Juliana Rojas, Marco Dutra)

Come for the lesbian werewolf musical fairy tale genre mashup, stay for the complicated explorations of race, class, and parenthood. This movie is overflowing with so many ideas, cinematically and thematically, it's thrilling to watch it all fit together. It's so rare to watch a movie and have literally no idea where it's going and I will cherish the experience of my first viewing (I literally SCREAMED at one moment in a crowded theatre, seriously) while also hungrily rewatching to unpack everything that's going on. I can't promise it will all work for you, but I can promise you won't be bored.

6. Shirkers (dir. Sandi Tan)

As a teenager Sandi Tan made a feature film with her friends and an enigmatic mentor. Imagined as the start of a Singapore New Wave, their dreams were crushed when the mentor vanished with the film reels. Now decades later, Tan's documentary recalls the experience… with the help of the recovered reels. Part memoir/part mystery/part lost cinema classic, Shirkers is about youthful creativity, exploitation, and so much more. Ultimately this is a portrait of an art form. Within its 95 minutes it encapsulates everything movies can do and everything movies take. It's currently streaming on Netflix and a must-watch for anyone who makes movies or cares about how they're made.

5. Widows (dir. Steve McQueen)

Like a Michael Mann movie if Michael Mann cared about things other than digital cameras, Steve McQueen's cold and stellar heist movie lacks subtlety in all the best ways. Led by Viola Davis this candidate for greatest movie cast ever of all time ever does not disappoint. Everybody is so, so good, and it's thrilling to watch this kind of 1970s American genre film through a point of view that doesn't belong to white men. There's a lot to unpack here, with character, plot, and theme, and I've only seen it once, but that was enough to know that this is a capital G Great movie.

4. The Miseducation of Cameron Post (dir. Desiree Akhavan)

Not every queer person has gone to conversion therapy, but I'd guess most of us have doubted our feelings and our identities. What could have easily been a more serious But I'm a Cheerleader instead finds its own purpose, its own humor, and ultimately exists as a still relevant portrayal of the gaslighting we continue to face for just being ourselves. Chloë Grace Moretz gives one of the best performances of the year as the equal parts cool and vulnerable Cameron and my love for writer/director Desiree Akhavan knows no bounds. NOTE: Sasha Lane plays a character who is disabled and Forrest Goodluck plays a character who is Two-Spirit despite not being so themselves. Considering how good the film is otherwise I dream of a version with a supporting cast who understand the experience of their characters.

3. If Beale Street Could Talk (dir. Barry Jenkins)

Like the masterpiece of a novel it's based on, Barry Jenkins third film is an overwhelming tribute to life in the face of despair. Instead of offering hope, instead of suggesting that being Black in America will someday be easier, Beale Street shows how love, romantic and familial, can provide temporary escape and a reason for being. The entire cast is incredible and gorgeous. Every frame is lush, the score is beautiful, and the moments of joy are as moving as the moments of pain. We are so lucky to be alive while Barry Jenkins is making movies.

2. Shoplifters (dir. Hirokazu Kore-Eda)

I went into Kore-Eda's Palme d'Or winning tribute to chosen family ready to feel grateful for my own chosen family. The friends, mentors, beauticians(!), doctors(!!) who have loved and supported me and made me feel like I wasn't alone these past few years. That happened. But what surprised me was how much it made me appreciate my biological family as well. Like the houses in my favorite TV show of the year, Pose, the makeshift family of Shoplifters ends up being like any other. There are clashing personalities, there are frustrations, there are fights. But more than anything there is care, there is self-sacrifice, there is love. Community is not defined by perfection. Family is not defined by perfection. Kore-Eda has spent much of his career asking the question, "What is family?" and this film provides the least and most satisfying answers.

1. In Between (dir. Maysaloun Hamoud)

I loved my favorite movie of the year so deeply that a one paragraph pitch just won't do. Fortunately, the best site on the entire online, Autostraddle, had me write a gushy review. Read it here or if you're already convinced watch In Between free on Kanopy and then read it: https://www.autostraddle.com/in-between-review-the-super-gay-super-feminist-film-no-ones-talking-about-444114/

Television!

Extremely honorable mentions like how is there so much good TV these all deserve to be in the top ten: BoJack Horseman (S5), High Maintenance (S2), Insecure (S3), Jane the Virgin (S4), Random Acts of Flyness (S1), Sharp Objects, Supergirl (S4), Take My Wife (S2)

10. Killing Eve (S1) 9. Atlanta (S2) 8. The Good Place (S2/3) 7. The Americans (S6) 6. The Bisexual (S1) 5. ACS: The Assassination of Gianni Versace 4. Queen Sugar (S3) 3. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (S3/S4) 2. Vida (S1) 1. Pose (S1)

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buckyandsteeb · 7 years

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Ace Of Diamonds, King of Hearts

Summary: Blaine Anderson knew his wasn't normal when he was 11. It took him a little while to realize how different that was. Kurt Hummel was never what anyone expected. With Blaine, Kurt would learn even more about why that was. *Finn Hudson is a somewhat common character later in the fic

Okay, I can’t control myself.

Prologue

Chapter 1: Ao3 / FF

Blaine threw himself down on his bed with a laugh. He'd met the cutest boy today!

Kurt.

He was such a terrible spy! But he was so adorable pretending that he went to Dalton. Blaine couldn't help but give him his phone number right after he was done performing for Dalton and putting on a show for the cute spy.

Blaine frowned.

It wasn't as nice to see Kurt break down. He was being bullied, probably worse than Blaine had been.

He just wanted to make that sad look leave Kurt's face. It was a crime to see such a gorgeous boy look so sad.

Blaine took out his phone and typed one word to the new number in his phone.

Courage

He wished that he'd had more courage at his old school. But Kurt seemed stronger than he was, so maybe it would help.

Over the next few days he texted Kurt 'courage' intermittently as they carried on friendly conversation.

His heart dropped into his stomach when his phone rang with a teary-eyed Kurt on the other end. He skipped 4th period and lunch to rush to Kurt's side. He had to do something to put the smile back on his face. He didn’t care that he only had his driver's license. Kurt needed him.

When Kurt mentioned his first kiss being stolen, it took all his willpower to not give Kurt his own first kiss. But Kurt didn't need that. He probably didn't even feel that way about Blaine.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

A few weeks later he got a call from Kurt saying he was transferring to Dalton and needed advice on how to accessorize the uniform. They agreed a trip to the mall was needed.

Blaine, for the most part, kept quiet over how relieved he was that Kurt would be safe at Dalton. He didn't want to come on too strong or overprotective. He'd only met Kurt a few weeks ago. He didn't want to make it weird.

After 5 stores and a few hours of shopping, Blaine offered to go get them both a coffee as Kurt looked at the broaches in Macy's. He made a note of Kurt's coffee order in his phone, planning to commit it to memory soon.

He ordered their coffees and was adding a few sugars into his own when his hand brushed against someone else’s.

“Oh sorry, you go first.” Blaine said absently looking at the man’s name tag “Jeremiah”

Jeremiah pushed the hair out of his eyes as he took a sugar package.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Dang it! Shoot!” Blaine muttered to himself as he hurried back to Macy's. He got distracted by Jeremiah who apparently worked at the mall. At the Gap specifically. Jeremiah winked and told him he'd give him a discount the next time he came in.

But Kurt's drink had melted during their conversation and he had to throw it out and buy a new one. He was so stupid!

Blaine stopped walking. Was he, though? It's not like he and Kurt were dating. He could look and have conversations with other boys. He could even date other boys. Boys who mention giving him a discount on bowties. Kurt teased him about his bowties. Nicely but still.

He bit down the guilt as he walked at a normal pace back to Kurt.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Each time he saw Jeremiah, his guilt lessened. Jeremiah liked him. Kurt didn't. Even if every time Kurt smiled at him, he felt a million butterflies in his belly.

Jeremiah had held his hand twice! Well not exactly hold, more like brush against his as he reached for something. But he could see himself having a relationship with him. They'd even gone shopping together when he came into the Gap and bought 4 bowties and 5 pairs of socks because Jeremiah said they looked good on him. Clearly it was in love.

He asked Kurt advice a few days before Valentines. He knew Kurt would know what to do. He was so smart and amazing. His suggestion of serenading Jeremiah was brilliant.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Blaine felt like an idiot. Of course they weren't dating. Why did he ever think they were?

And Kurt. Kurt thought he was going to serenade him! And he messed up that. He messed up everything. He couldn't ruin his friendship too.

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Everything was amazing! This room was amazing. He loved everything.

He got to go to a high school party with his very best friend forever, Kurt. And they played spin the bottle! And he sang on Kurt's friends stage. It was awesome!

And now Kurt's brother was driving them somewhere!

“Kuuurrrttt, where are we goooinnggg?!” Blaine asked loudly rubbing himself against Kurt's sweater. “You're sooo soft, Kurt! Kuuurrrttt. Ku-ert. I like your name, Ku-rrrt”

��He needs to stop being so loud or he'll wake up Mom and Burt.” Finn worried, turning around the corner into their street.

“He will.” Kurt reassured, helping Blaine sit back up from where he'd fallen mostly on the floor when Finn turned.

“Finn is soo taaalll, Kurt!” Blaine observed whispering loudly as Finn parked in the Hummel's driveway.

Finn turned off the car and looked over at Kurt. “Do you need help getting him inside?”

“No. He's pretty light.” Kurt assured as he helped Blaine out of the car. Blaine latched onto Kurt and hugged him tightly.

“Kurt is my very best friend!” Blaine grinned at Finn and placed a sloppy kiss on Kurt's cheek.

Kurt rolled his eyes, amused, and picked Blaine up when it was clear he had no intentions of letting go.

“Blaine, sweetie, I need you to be very quiet when we go inside, okay?” Kurt warned. “We can't wake up my dad.”

Blaine pressed a finger over his lips and gave an exaggerated shush as he rested his head on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt got inside and up to his room without difficulty. He let out a sigh of relief as he set Blaine down on the bed. Blaine laid back and kicked his feet softly as he hummed a random tune.

“Blaine, we're going to bed now, okay?”

Blaine sat up quickly and started to remove his pants.

“Oh no, Blaine. No don't do that.” Kurt said frantically looking everywhere but Blaine with a blush. He rushed to his dresser and pulled out a pair of pajamas. “Go into my bathroom, change into these” Kurt demanded. He handed them to Blaine, still not looking as he helped Blaine to the bathroom.

He stood on the other side of the door, listening for signs that Blaine needed help and let himself relax when Blaine opened the door with his too big pajamas pooling around his hands and ankles.

“Smells like Kurt,” Blaine grinned hugging his arms to his chest as he wiggled his toes in delight. “May I help you change, my Kurt siry bob? You wear sooo many layers!”

Kurt blaunched. “Um, No Blaine. I think you should just go to bed.”

Kurt lead him back to his bed and tucked him in. He quickly changed hiding his blushing face before joining Blaine under the covers.

Blaine moved into Kurt's space, putting his cold feet on Kurt's causing Kurt to jump slightly in alarm. He rested his head on Kurt's chest wiggling happily. “I love m kur ir cutels,” Blaine muttered as he drifted off.

Kurt froze at Blaine's words, unsure what to make of them. He gently removed Blaine from he was resting on his chest. As much as he loved the way it felt, who knew how Blaine would react if he woke up that way.

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Everything was the opposite of amazing when he woke up. It was too bright! And Kurt's dad was in his room for some reason? Why was he in his room? Was Kurt okay?

The last thing he remembered was kissing one of Kurt's friends. He was disappointed it wasn’t Kurt, but it hadn't felt bad for a girl.

Maybe that was what was wrong? Maybe he'd closed himself off to the idea of girls too soon.

Kurt didn't seem to agree when he tried to explain his possible bisexuality after talking to Kurt's friend Rachel. It hurt a lot. He was disappointing Kurt. But he had to at least open himself up to the idea. It would make his dad happy. And Rachel was bossier than Kurt. It was slightly easier to forget how much he was disappointing Kurt, when he had someone else’s demands to follow.

Still, the next few days were pure torture knowing that he couldn't just text Kurt. It was only made worse by Rachel's constant stream of why she felt she was better than the other performers in her Glee Club. He had to bite his tongue every time she claimed she was better than Kurt at something. He finally broke when she mentioned a diva off she'd had with Kurt last year.

“That couldn't possibly be true, Rachel. Kurt could hit a high F in his sleep.”

“And how would you know that?” She demanded her arms crossed accusingly. “I thought you were straight.”

Blaine opened his mouth and closed it a few times trying to figure out what she was talking about.

Finally he confusingly admitted: “I never said I was straight.”

“Fine. 'Bisexual.'” Rachel dismissed putting air quotes around the word bisexual. “It's still rude to bring up your past conquests. I haven't mention that time I was dating 3 boys, have I?” She launched into her story as Blaine looked around the theater hoping the movie would start soon.

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Blaine walked miserably into the Lima Bean. He hadn't talked to Kurt in 3 whole days! No good morning texts or silly texts in classes they shared. No coffee together or messing around during Warbler practice. Not even their hands brushing together as they walked each other to class.

Blaine froze in alarm as suddenly someone- Rachel his mind supplied, kissed him.

Nothing.

Well except his desire to go use mouthwash and clean the hand that accidentally grazed her breasts.

“Definitely 100% gay,” he muttered to himself.

He knew he should greet her because he was technically going on dates with her. But she seemed to be distracted by something else.

He briefly asked her to save his spot in line, and headed to the bathroom.

He was gargling his mouthwash when he heard the door to the bathroom open again.

“If it was anyone but Rachel, they'd probably be pretty insulted about what you're doing.” Kurt commented lightly “As it is, she's making plans to write a song about the 'pain' of dating a gay guy.”

Blaine spit out the mouthwash with a blush. “I'm sorry I was such an idiot.”

“You're not the only person in this room who thought dating a girl could be easier.” Kurt conceded with a half smile.

Blaine tilted his head to the side in disbelief.

“Brittany, the blonde that was all over Artie at the party,” Kurt answered Blaine's unsaid question. “I thought it would help me bond better with my dad.”

Blaine looked at his hands embarrassed as he washed them. “I thought it might make my dad stop with his projects to make me straight.”

“I hope you didn't tell him about Rachel, Blaine” Kurt worried

“I didn't.” Blaine confirmed. “Rachel's better in smaller doses, I think.”

Kurt laughed quietly “Yeah. She really is.”

“She tried to convince me she would have done a better job than Ali MacGraw.” Blaine admitted shaking his head in disbelief. “Loudly. In the middle of the movie, Kurt! I refunded everyone's ticket, I felt so bad.”

“You'll learn to tune out her ego eventually.” Kurt smiled brushing a curl out of Blaine's face absently. Suddenly Blaine's words hit him. “Wait, you gave strangers money because Rachel was being loud?”

“Yeah. I tried to convince the projectionist to restart it at the point she started being too loud. But he said it would be too much effort.” Blaine explained.

“So let me get this straight, the projectionist wouldn't take your bribe. So you just gave it away to random theatergoers?” Kurt grinned, biting his lip so Blaine couldn't see him laughing.

“Of course not! I wouldn't bribe anyone. That's wrong!”

Kurt took Blaine's hand and lead him out of the bathroom, a fond amused smile cemented on his face. Blaine was just too much sometimes.

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When the strange Cheerleading Coach from McKinley said they needed to bring Sexy for regionals, Blaine knew he had some work to do.

What did sexy really even mean?

Would Adam Levine or Tom Ford be considered sexy? He might consider them attractive, but he never thought of doing any of the things his friends talked about when they used that word.

He decided a trip to the library was needed. He needed to crack the code if he wanted to sell sexy.

He'd learned his lesson about the internet very quickly after his second search lead him to straight porn. It was vulgar and he could have gone his whole life without seeing those parts of a girl. Just thinking of the incident made him shudder in disgust.

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He felt terrible after their performance in front of the girls from Crawford Country Day. He should've asked Kurt if he needed help before the performance. They could've practiced together! They should have. If only he'd thought ahead, Kurt wouldn't feel like he was completely clueless about what sexy meant.

He still thought it was a bit unfair of Kurt to dismiss penguins like that. As far a Blaine was concerned, penguins had it together. They found their soulmate and bonded! Some male bonded penguins even raised surrogate baby penguins together. There was even a kids book about it.

Regardless, They'd been at work trying to help Kurt find his sexy faces for over 20 minutes. But they all just looked the same to him. He told Kurt such.

Kurt blew up in frustration and before Blaine knew what was happening, Kurt was asking him to leave.

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Kurt probably would never speak to him again when he found out what Blaine had just done. He felt so guilty. But he had too! Kurt needed the education and if what Kurt said about watching those type of movies, Kurt wouldn't even think about finding answers on the internet again, just like him.

He was just thinking about Kurt's best interest.

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Kurt was still talking to him even after he'd been subjected to the talk from his dad. Blaine called that a victory. A huge victory he'd decided.

Kurt was...so cute recently. He didn't know what he'd do if he had to only watch from afar.

Sometimes he thought that might actually be better than the restraint he had to use to not just climb into Kurt's lap and take a nap. He settled for just leaning against Kurt's shoulder until the desire felt like too much. To make it worse, he'd never felt such a strong urge to sit on the floor at someone's feet as they read, than he did for Kurt. He'd couldn't remember the last time he felt so safe and loved from anyone but his own mother.

Not to mention he wasn't even dating Kurt. Doing something like that would probably scare him. It was obviously too intimate for the state of their relationship.

He didn't know what to do. He'd never really gotten to a point where he needed someone else to do the type of things his own mother did. Was he projecting his mom onto Kurt? Did he have some weird complex?

He really needed to hold Kurt's hand or to have Kurt kiss his forehead. He even wanted to just cuddle with him for hours at a time doing nothing else. Or kiss him for an undetermined length of time.

The last two threw him through a loop. What did it even mean? And why was he so jealous when he saw Kurt take care of Pavarotti? The adorable boy had even gotten him a Burberry-isc cage cover.

Blaine wanted it. Not the cage cover obviously, but the desire to mean the same to Kurt. For Kurt to buy him silly little presents just because. To be important enough to Kurt to deserve his gifts.

He really needed to know what was going on. So he decided to give the internet another chance. He wasn’t sure even how to start looking for a book.

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Sadness came with the death of Pavarotti. Kurt cried and sang Blackbird so beautifully. It took all of Blaine's self control not to crawl on his hands and knees over to Kurt and do whatever Kurt needed to make his pain go away.

Thankfully Kurt finished the song and took a seat next to him before Blaine could give in.

When he could finally tear his eyes away from Kurt, he looked around and noticed the rest of the Warblers looked impressed. Maybe he could use this as an excuse to spend more time with Kurt and let Kurt take his place as the rightful soloist of the Warblers.

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At the next Warbler meeting, Blaine said his piece and Warblers agreed to let Kurt duet with him. He had every intention to let it become a solo for Kurt, but his mouth wouldn't cooperate.

He hadn't seen Kurt since, despite Kurt's attempts to find him.

He was too nervous to talk to Kurt right now. It was one thing to serenade him or get him a solo, but a duet. That was very intimate. He'd only gotten through their first duet by thinking about how he needed to be perfect for his performance.

There was absolutely no way he could hide his feeling for Kurt this time. Honestly did he even want too?

He didn't have any indication if Kurt felt the same, but he could at least try.

But first he needed to practice his confession.

And a way to steer the conversation away from his feelings if Kurt said no.

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Blaine stood in the doorway watching Kurt for a minute as he tried to get up the courage to confess his feelings.

Why couldn't he have made his speech simple? Maybe an “I really like you, will you be my boyfriend” instead of Kurt moving him.

At least he'd convinced himself not to tell Kurt how he lived to follow Kurt's every commands and fall at his feet whenever Kurt wished. How he loved when Kurt absently fixed his hair or when they cooked together and Kurt complimented him for the simplest things. How he secretly wanted Kurt to punish him like he’d seen in a magazine Cooper sent to him trying to screw with him.

Kurt would probably be confused if he told him about the instincts that Kurt invoked in him. And Kurt would certainly be horrified if he told him about the last one.

Kurt wouldn’t understand it. He’d never really seen anyone else with that aspect in their relationship. In fact, most fought if there was even a chance one of them dared to order the other around.

Blaine took a deep breath.

#sub!blaine #asexual!blaine #klaine #ace of diamonds king of hearts #my fics

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