#there’s no subtext or other implication he meant when he had those 2 men living together

[figonas]

I think you perpetually online people need to understand that “queerbaiting” does not mean a character is heavily implied to be a queer person, with a live in partner, but we the audience are not explicitly shown a coming out scene. Queerbaiting is when a character is heavily implied to be a queer person and then it’s explicit confirmed they’re Absolutely Not Queer(tm) and are in a Straight Relationship(tm) and that live in partner they have romantic chemistry with is just their Friendly Roommate(tm). Not everything needs to be shown to you explicitly for you to understand the implications. Having to use critical thinking skills to draw connections between clearly defined and obviously presented dots isn’t queer baiting. For the love of god use your brain cells before they all die and leave your head about as full as an empty peanut shell.

#this is about Beniot Blanc in the glass onion #I saw someone say he was queerbait because his partner used his last name when talking to him #y’all #if my husbands name was beniot I would also just call him Blanc #not to mention everyone in both movies calls Benoit Blanc by his last name #please think about ​if your name was Beniot #you would ask everyone to call you Blanc #that includes your partner #’Beniot’ is reserved for fighting and sex #blanc’s friends on video chat said ‘Paul said you’ve been in the bath for a week straight’ #that’s some husband level meddling #calling his friends and saying ‘you have to talk to him for me he won’t get out of the bath and he’s driving me fucking insane’ #btw Rian Johnson the director AND WRITER of the movie said they’re gay #there’s no subtext or other implication he meant when he had those 2 men living together #what other fucking explanation would there be for Hugh Grant to be living in Blanc’s apartment making sourdough bread #please stop asking for everything on earth to be spoonfed to you or I’m just gonna start shoving the spoon up your ass

[gascon-en-exil]

FE16 Black Eagles (Edelgard) Liveblogging

Chapters 15-16. The plot, among other things, explodes.

I was wondering where all the Eagles character paralogues were, and all of sudden come Chapter 15 three of them get dumped on you. Edelgard’s is a fight on the border against Nader and the Almyran remnant. Wyvern riders are unusually overpowered in this game, even as enemies. They’re not a unit type one expects to be so fast. Hubert goes back to the Sealed Forest to save Those Who Slither from their own failed creations. Both of these paralogues play up Hubert’s own talent for slithering in the dark: the first because it’s heavily implied that he poisoned Hilda’s brother so he’d have to rely on the Empire to push back the Almyrans, and the second because he’s been investigating Those Who Slither on the side all the while your army is being strong-armed into doing their bidding.

Petra and Bernadetta’s paralogue meanwhile has been the first map on this route that I haven’t seen before, a heavily forested section of Brigid. Bernadetta’s role there is almost completely random, but it comes together in the end in a way that feels satisfying. The chapter itself on the other hand features a cheap fakeout win condition, thankfully avoidable via Divine Pulse, and another appearance by the OP Catherine.

Playable kills: Flayn and Seteth from the church, Felix and Ingrid from the Lions. Now that the Alliance portion of the story is done I notice that Raphael and Lorenz skipped out on showing up this time, along with Marianne who doesn’t appear in the Lions’ Part 2 either. Actually, I’ve read that she’s the only playable character who doesn’t appear in Part 2 at all unless she’s in your army, with the implication that her depression and/or the dark story surrounding her Crest killed her or drove her to suicide in the timeskip. That’s...something.

I’ve also read that if you don’t recruit Shamir and Alois they show up in Chapter 15 to be killed...and that Manuela and Hanneman only do so on the Lions route in Dimitri’s paralogue for some reason. Weird.

I can confirm that the dark merchant does not sell Dark Seals. He’s only available in the second to last exploration month of Edelgard’s route, so you can’t get much use out of him anyway. Sucks for Hubert, but if I’m understanding correctly how you can buy classes with Renown the next time I use him I can just certify him for dark mage that way and get one seal for dark bishop. 

The brevity of this route sticks out more and more the closer I get to the end. Not so much for the story which is moving along at a brisk pace to match Edelgard’s resolve and concrete goal in contrast to Dimitri throwing everyone off with his unresolved personal issues, but for the gameplay. A bunch of my units aren’t going to make it master classes at this rate, and I’m tempted to not even touch Edelgard’s emperor class when it randomly becomes available after Chapter 15 (seriously, her armor just arrives from the capital? Are we timing lord promotions by the speed of parcel delivery now?) because there’s no timing and making her armored is kind of awful.

Story/Character observations

Chapter 15 opens with a bizarre interlude of Byleth coming upon Edelgard in her room at night, and an attempt at humanizing her by...telling us that she draws pictures of Byleth. That’s not even organic Avatar worship, come on. From what I remember her A support is more of the same, so I’m not holding out much hope for her big bi S rank.

Thankfully her two dorky subordinates salvage the character-based charm of this route. Ferdinand pokes a hole in the fourth wall and asks Byleth if they’ve thought about a world in which they chose another house or chose to side with the church, and while I can see the similarities with Conquest constantly dumping on Corrin’s choice this incident is isolated enough that I’m not feeling condescended to. Ferdinand’s A support with Byleth reveals that the first king of Faerghus - you know, the one with the very close *nudge nudge wink wink* friend akin to Felix - had a second very close friend who was just as indispensible but didn’t desire notoriety and so didn’t make it into many history books. Ferdinand compares this to what both he and Byleth are to Edelgard (I imagine this support is phrased very differently if gotten on any other route), but my mind went right to Kris, the shadow Avatar at Marth’s side who got left out of the original game historical accounts. While I believe that Byleth’s ending on Edelgard’s route actually is fairly out of the public eye, in other routes they’re either the archbishop or the ruler of the united continent. Byleth is very much not that type of Avatar who can just disappear at the end because how else could they sleep with the whole cast?

I can’t forget about Hubert either. Apparently he’s the one who gives Those Who Slither their infamously unwieldy name - thanks a lot, Hubie - during his investigations on how to out-evil them. When he’s not doing that he’s engaging in absurdly cute support conversations with Ferdinand where they’re both blushing and exchanging gifts with romantic music in the background. I also noted that they’re one of the couples who get special meal dialogue that evolves along with their supports. See, this is what I mean when I say that M/M and F/F subtext are on completely different playing fields. Dorothea will just come out and ask Manuela if they can live together and forget about finding men, or give Ingrid a ring and joke about owning her, etc. For the guys it’s watching them sputteringly make friendly gestures toward one another while blushing, or make promises to die together, or insist on the other using their given name (but in private!) to indicate that there’s going to be dick touching.

Nader dies during Edelgard’s paralogue. In combination with Judith’s death in Chapter 13 I think this is meant to indicate that this is the one non-Deer route that does not feature a large Almyran invasion after the credits roll. Even if you choose not to kill Claude as I did, without any of his close allies (who are also his parents, in the case of those two?) the implication is that he won’t have the strength to pursue his own dreams of continental conquest. Good on him to outright admit that he has them to Edelgard, though.

Speaking of the game admitting things that otherwise only go implied, let’s talk about those explosions. The Black Eagle Strike Force feints toward Fhirdiad but moves instead to conquer Arianrhod, with Edelgard and Hubert’s target being specifically Cornelia. Cornelia in this route hasn’t betrayed Faerghus to the Empire yet, but according to Arundel she was planning to as a member of Those Who Slither despite lacking their characteristic pallor. Arundel responds by using “pillars of light” - more likely those anachronistic ballistic missiles seen in a church route cutscene - to blast the fortress into oblivion and kill a bunch of people inside.I’m ignoring how petty it seems of Arundel/Thales to nuke a valuable military installation just to get revenge on Edelgard for killing a minion who was going to help Edelgard do what she’s about to do in the last two chapters anyway. No, what fascinates me about this situation is how Edelgard and Hubert immediately spin this for the rest of their army, saying it was Rhea’s doing and using it to motivate the Strike Force to conquer Fhirdiad as quickly as possible. Ever since I got her C support I’ve been curious as to why Edelgard harbors so much personal hatred for the church when Those Who Slither were the ones responsible for torturing her and her siblings for Crest research. Here she’s deliberately making that misdirection, which....doesn’t answer my question at all but does at least demonstrate that the writers are aware of it. How it will all play out, or if this is something that only makes sense when considering information learned from the church and/or Deer routes is yet to be determined.

Looking at this from the perspective of the Strike Force though I can see why they’d need some additional pushing to get invested in how evil Rhea is. She’s done very little so far to follow up on her creepy authoritarian vibes from Part 1, and the scene of her grieving Seteth and Flayn’s deaths only makes her regain some sympathy because of how personally she takes their loss. They have to be saving it all up for the finale. There will have to something to the antagonists we’re about to fight, because so far DImitri in this route has been even more of a non-entity. Of course I know that Chapter 17 brings not one but two flavors of gay tragedy, but in-universe I doubt anyone on the Strike force is squeeing over the Tempest King and his very devoted vassal.

#Fire Emblem #FE16 #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Spoilers

[thetygre]

30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #23: Favorite Bad Movie Monster

Alright, so most of these movies aren’t really all that bad; they’re just kind of ‘meh’. But they would have been a lot worse without these cool and/or goofy monsters.

1.       Jabberwocky (Alice in Wonderland 2010)

I am prepared to disclose that Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland was not horrible, but 60% of that opinion stems from the Jabberwocky. (The remaining 40%is 30% the other monster designs and 10% lesbian subtext.) The Jabberwocky has always been my favorite part of the Alice mythos (surprise surprise), and not to sound petty, but I have dropped Alice movies just for not including the brilling beast. Burton’s Jabberwocky might not be my favorite, but it has a lot going for it. The way they treat it is basically as Wonderland’s Tarrasque; a living WMD, a legendary kaiju, the ur-monster in a world teeming with dangerous and crazy creatures. The way it wakes up is even a direct nod to Chernabog from Fantasia; they are literally equating this thing to the Devil.

Second off; Christopher Lee.

Finally, when the Jabberwocky meets Alice to fight, he says this thing about meeting his ‘old foe’, ‘the vorpal one’, in battle again. It is made explicitly clear that he is talking about the vorpal blade, not Alice. And that just… I don’t want to say that that changes the entire movie, but yeah, it kind of does. The implications here are that the vorpal blade and the Jabberwocky have fought each other countless time before in the past. The history of Wonderland is just the history of a dragon and a magic sword fighting. Is the vorpal blade sentient? How many times have these two fought? This kind of transforms everything about the setting the movie has established for the last hour and a half. It’s just so filled with so much potential to me.

2.       Torgo (Manos: The Hands of Fate)

Y’know, when you’re in a dark place, you have to find your own light. A source of motivation, something you can cling to to pull you through to the other side. Maybe that’s a dream, a goal at the end of the tunnel, or maybe it’s a hero, someone you can look up to. I’m not saying that Torgo is a hero, but he inspires me. There are weeks at work where I just don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I come home at night to an empty room and fall asleep alone. It gets hard, is what I’m saying. But you know who never stopped trying, even though he hated his job and was lonely too?

Torgo. That’s who.

Everyday Torgo gets up, throws on his blazer and hat, and he goes out there and busses a haunted motel for a boss he hates. But he does it, every day. And if Torgo can do it, you can too. So you’ve got to get out there and be the best damn lackey you can. You’ve got put in the work to make it to tomorrow. And when the good times roll in and come shining down on you, you take a minute to remember the man who helped you get here. Take a minute to remember Torgo, looking down on you from Cloud No. 9, shedding a tear.

3.       Radu (Seventh Son)

The Last Apprentice series is actually a pretty cool (and grim) series of dark fantasy/horror young adult novels, kind of like junior’s first Solomon Kane. The Seventh Son movie based on the series has piss-all to do with it, and its only redeeming features are some cool monster designs and Jeff Bridges. Of those cool monster designs, the stand-out for me is Radua aka Muslim Dragon Kratos. He’s one of our villain witches chief thugs, and is unnecessarily cool for a side-character. He’s got this whole Nosferatu Zodd code of honor thing, and wields these two chain blades and probably could have been the villain in his own movie.

Now that alone would have been a neat detail, but then he can turn into what I honestly consider one of the more interesting dragons in recent cinema. I talked before about how one archetype of dragons was of being these unholy, scavenger type wilderness monsters, and that’s kind of the vibe I get from Radu’s dragon form. It’s all lanky and feral looking. It has too many limbs, and it walks around like it doesn’t know how. It’s another unnecessarily cool design for such a generic movie, and it’s definitely worth checking out.

4.       Krakensaurus (Jack the Giant Slayer)

I don’t want to be mean and discount Jack the Giant Slayer as ‘discount Ray Harryhausen’, but thems is the breaks, as the saying goes. The movie is kind of charming in how earnestly it plays to being a 1960s fantasy movie, with princesses in pink dresses and warlocks with goatees and a rhyming leprechaun. The movies stop-motion monsters don’t really live up to industry standards, though. But I can’t sit here and lie and say that I don’t have a special fondness for the sea monster at the end. The movie’s penultimate scene sees our heroes trying to escape the warlock’s castle, so the villain summons a two-headed giant (or ettin, if you know your monsters) which looks suspiciously like one of Ray Harryhausen’s cyclopes. Trapped in a sea cave, the rhyming leprechaun trapped in a bottle (roll with it) summons a sea monster to deal with the problem.

Sometimes it’s the little things in life, like watching two weird looking monsters fight to the death. Our sea monster is a blue-green mixture of kraken and allosaurus, and I’m pretty sure its toy had more detailing than the actual moving model. When this guy showed up on the screen, six year old me was hype enough to punch through a wall. I spent the next week drawing pictures of him so I wouldn’t forget him. This movie has 100% more sea monsters and singing leprechauns than The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, and that almost makes up for its deficit skeleton warriors.

5.       Queen of the Lair (She Creature 2001)

Stan Winston was on the helm for this little lady’s monster design, and it shows. A mermaid queen, it’s hard to tell if her monster form is her real shape or just something she can morph into. Even her basic mermaid form is pretty interesting; the split tails remind me of sirens or tritons. Her monster shape, though, is pure Stan Winston gold. There’s more than a little bit of the xenomorph queen in there, between the crest and the fangs. Someone threw it into a blender with a sea serpent and a viper fish and what comes out is the most badass mermaid to ever slink across cinema. She rips people’s heads off, her tail is covered with bone spikes, and she can sing a siren song to summon up her mermaid swarm. Oh, and psychic impregnation powers. That part’s kind of important.

6.       She Creature (She Creature 1956)

Aforementioned sea monster queen was part of a series of horror films based on old b-movies, so this is the original She Creature. Even today, this is one of my favorite designs from the 1950s. Paul Blaisdell might just be the king of B-movie monster suits, and belongs up there with Ray Harryhausen in the great monster hall of fame. The she creature looks like the sum product of an orc, a lobster, and a scorpionfish. It’s a shame you only see her in monochrome, because her color scheme is a startling mix of green and pink. What I find most fascinating is the concept that this is supposed to represent some parallel evolutionary stage of humanity. This is supposed to be a different version of Homo sapiens that never left the sea. Stan Winston’s mermaid queen is great, but I would still love to see an updated and more articulate version of this design.

7.       Vampire Spawn (Van Helsing)

This raises so many questions. So the crux of Van Helsing is that Dracula needs Frankenstein’s monster to power a force-field that will allow his swarms of vampire spawn to survive past infancy. I bet you thought vampires reproduced by biting people, right? Well, apparently they also have egg-sacs. Just, massive, Aliens style egg-sacs full of bat/human fetus monsters hungry for blood. It’s so stupid that I love it. These things are horrible and adorable; they remind me of chupacabras. I want one as a familiar, or at least statted up for a tabletop roleplaying game. Just really try to avoid thinking about the whole egg-sacs thing and all the implications that brings to vampire mythology.

8.       Emperor Tyrannus (Attack of the Super Monsters)

I don’t… I don’t think I have the strength to really get into Attack of the Super Monsters. When I watched it, liquor was involved. Describing it reads like a parody of Japanese media that involves anime, men in monster suits, and giant robots meant to sell collectible toys. But it’s real, and the realest shit ever is Emperor Tyrannus. Emperor Tyrannus is literally a giant tyrannosaurus rex who is the evil mastermind of an underground civilization of dinosaurs. The dinosaurs talk, because shut up, and Emperor Tyrannus in particular talks with a villain voice that I just can’t really convey through text. I think the closest I can get is saying that he sounds like someone doing an imitation of Brian Blessed while having a stroke. Emperor Tyrannus shoots laser beams from his eyes that mind control the other dinosaurs into being evil, and watches them fight a hermaphroditic cyborg superhero in a drill/airplane. Look, you need to see this for yourself. I’m not doing this justice. Get your friends, find the DVD, and strap in for a wild ride.

9.       Witch Tree (The Last Witch Hunter)

The Last Witch Hunter is another guilty pleasure move where Vin Diesel brings what I’m pretty sure is one of his D&D characters to a movie and somehow ropes Michael Cain and Elijah Wood into it with him. Our villains are, in a surprising twist, witches that cook up some fairly grotesque magic. One of the creatures meant to act as the witches’ guardians is a magical sentinel, and it just goes so hard and so dark for what amounts to a stick golem. It’s the fine details that make this construct stand out. The extra limbs let it move faster and have extra attacks, the jawbones around the front form a crude mouth, and the branch rib-cage makes it look like something that used to be alive instead of something that was just magically summoned. There’s so much work poured into this one monster, and it’s definitely a treat to see it at the end of the movie. Rethink your golems, kids; treat yourself better.

10.   Giant Leeches (Attack of the Giant Leeches)

I used to be pretty intensely leech-phobic when I was younger (and by younger, I mean a couple of years ago), but even then I knew the giant leeches were lame. Incredibly lame. Like, honestly kind of pathetic. I kind of like them out of a bizarre sense of pity. Giant leeches should scare me, but these guys are just goofy. A leech isn’t a hard design; it’s a tube with a sucker on each end. But I am almost convinced that the person who designed these monsters had never actually seen a leech, or possibly even a worm. But the movie still treats them with all the dignity and awe of the Creature of the Black Lagoon. There are prolonged sequences of these guys swimming underwater, floating around like hungry garbage bags. These things are not, nor were they ever, leeches; they are some kind of aquatic octopus or confused anemone. That’s why they need our love, our protection; because they’re too stupid to survive by themselves.

#30 Day Monster Challenge 2 #30 Day Monster Challenge #monsters #movies #fantasy #mst3k #stan winston #paul blaisdell #long post