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tidsoptlmist · 6 years

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It’s a Boy-Girl Thing - E.D.

Authors note: I’M BACK! for those who care: my holiday was sO MUCH FUN OH MY GOD!! I had the bEST time!!! sadly school has started again and i’m drowning in homework again!!!

disclaimer 1: over these past few weeks I’ve received so many asks about whether or not I was still gonna update this: the answer is YES!

I hate the feeling of letting you all wait or maybe letting you down when i’m not posting as often as i (and you) would want me to.

the things is that (and this might come as a shocker) actually do have a life outside of tumblr. I’m in my senior year of high school and I trying to get good grades, so I can get into a good university next year...

I do love writing this and I am so excited to continue writing this story (and more!!) and I will not stop until this story is finished!!! I promise ahha!! I see those messages as a compliment (bc apparently you all like this very much and want to read more) but sometimes they make me feel a little bad/stressed because i feel like I’m let you all down... so yea..... I hope you all understand!

(what im trying to say is that i dont really mind those asks but at the same time it won't help asking bc YES i will be updating: but only when I’m able to...) (which will be regularly again next week!!!!) (promise)

disclaimer 2: this wasn't proofread so my apologies for any (loads of) spelling/grammar error!!!!! im a dyslectic assclown who cant spell to safe their own life so yea... just a lil heads up

Part 9 一 ANIMOSITY

Summary: Ethan and Y/N are neighbors. And although Y/N is on good terms with Ethan’s twin brother Grayson, Y/N and Ethan loathe each other and are constantly in dispute. Ethan is a populair varsity football player, who likes to be in the spotlight. Y/N prefers to stay under the radar, while reading books and poetry.

Although the constant bickering between the two drives everyone around them crazy - the two live their separate lives peacefully. At least that’s how it was until they wake up one morning and every had changed…

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10

You liked sports. You honestly liked being active. But not in late summer, when it was hot like an oven outside and the air humid.

You could feel the sweat dripping down your back, your shirt completely drenched. Your heart beat banging in your head and your legs shaking. You squint your eyes against the intense sunset.

Ethan had made you run around the field all afternoon. He had made you run laps, do pushups, situps and all different sorts of exercises which names you had forgotten right after Ethan said you could stop doing them. After finishing you had dropped yourself next to Ethan on the grass: completely worn out.

‘What are you doing?’ Ethan had asked.

‘I’m taking a break. Actually, not even a break: I’m done! I think if I continue I might get a heart attack or something,’ you breath still went rapidly.

Ethan just laughed while grabbing a water bottle from the cooler he had taken with him. ‘What are you on about? This was the warming up!’ He threw a cold bottle of water next to you in the grass. Your hands quickly opened it and you gulped down half of the bottle before glaring at Ethan.

‘I’m definitely warm…’ You mumbled annoyed.

Slowly you had gotten up from the grass and Ethan had made you catch footballs for an hour. The sun was now setting and your whole body ached. You fell onto the bench at the side of the field.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave this bench. I can’t carry your body anymore Eth,’ you sighed and wiped your forehead with his shirt. It didn’t help much: your shirt was completely soak. Ethan stood in front of you, grinning. Silently you watched the sunset behind the hills.

‘Let’s go home,’ you said, getting up. You grabbed your bag and looked at Ethan. He was still smiling at you. ‘I thought you said “you were never gonna be able to get off that bench”,’ he chucked at you. You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face.

‘We really need to head home though. Grayson said something about a party this morning and I think he really wants to go,’ you say as you walk towards the parking lot where Ethan had parked your car earlier.

‘Who’s hosting the party?’ Ethan asked you, eyeing your in a curious manner.

‘Austin, I think…’ You say, trying to remember what Grayson had said this morning. ‘He said Austin invited you both. And that it would be a big party. Apparently his parents are out of town.’

‘You should go,’ Ethan says, as he opens the trunk. You put the footballs and bottles of water and other training gear in the trunk.

‘I don’t want to go,’ you say in all honesty. Ethan rolls his eyes as he closes the trunk again.

‘Grayson and I never go somewhere alone-’

‘Yea, that’s kinda weird: you two should try to being more independent,’ you cut him off. Ethan eyes you angrily - irritated that you cut him off, but ignores your comment.

‘Like I said, before you cut me off: we never go somewhere alone. If Grayson wants to go: you go with him,’ Ethan says as he walks towards the driver seat. You walk towards passengers seat and get into your car.

‘I don’t like those kind of parties! What do you want me to do while I’m there?! Also; this could only go wrong. Someone will definitely notice something’s off!’ You tell him, trying to convince him why you shouldn’t go to Austin’s party.

‘You can try talking to some girls?’ Ethan suggests chuckeling, but quickly comes back from his idea: ‘Wait, no! Don’t talk to girls! You’ll for sure embarrass me!’

You glare at him. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Y/N, you might have a 4.0 on your GPA but you definitely don’t have a 4.0 in flirting,’ Ethan laughs at his own joke.

‘I’m not that bad….’ You say softly.

‘You know what, I’ll go to the party as well. That way I can keep an eye on you so you don’t embarrass me too much.’ Ethan says. You give him another glare. Annoyed how he won’t trust you.

The field wasn’t far from your home. Ethan parked in front of the Dolan house and you got out of the car.

‘Do you need to pick an outfit for tonight too - or do you trust me to pick one out myself without embarrassing you?’ You snarled at him. Ethan looked unimpressed by your remark.

‘Nah, you’re good,’ he simply said, pushing a strand of your long hair out of his face. In the days that he had been trapped in your body, he had only wore your hair down. It was now that you relised it was probably because he didn’t know how to tie a ponytail with long hair. You huffed and walked towards the trunk where you got the footballs and other training gear.

You walked towards the Dolan house without saying goodbye to Ethan. You dumped the training gear in the garage and walked immediately upstairs. You grabbed a clean pair of undrwear and some basketball shorts and walked towards the shower.

You took a quick shower - the same way you did that morning. This time the towel didn’t drop and you got the underwear on in one go. You stood infront of Ethan’s side of the sink and sprayed on some cologne. You closed your eyes as you inhaled the scent: it was smelled very good.

You walked out of the bathroom and layed down on Ethan’s bed. The party wouldn’t start till 9:30 - so you had a good three hours to kill.

Before you really could think of something to do, Grayson barched into the room. These boys left eachother no privacy did they?!

‘E,’ he exclaimed as he jumbed on the bed next to you, ‘wanna play some video games?’

And before you knew it, you were walking towards Grayson’s room. It was practially the same as Ethan - but with different colored bedsheets and instead of a poster of a motercycle there was a poster of old looking car. You recognised Grayson’s Ford Bronco - altough the one on the poster was red in color. Grayson turned the PlayStation on and handed you a controller.

‘Dude!!’ Grayson yelled at you. You stared at the screen. “YOU DIED” it read in thic red letters.

‘I swear I shot them first! I don’t know how I died?!’ You said annoyed.

‘Why are you so bad at this game?! Did you lose all your skills while haning out with Y/N today or something?!’ Grayson said jokingly, although he stilled looked a little annoyed at you for losing.

‘No,’ you mumbed while restarting the game. Playing video games was more fun then you innitionally thought it would be. Grayson was good company too, chatting away about his day.

‘How is Y/N doing?’ Grayson asks suddenly. You huff, concentrating on the game, ‘she’s good.’

Grayson falls back on the bed, starring at the ceiling, ‘she looks good.’

His comment makes you forget the game and within a second the red letters spelling out “YOU LOST” fill the tv screen again.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You ask Grayson, confused. Grayson gives you a ‘like you don’t know what I’m talking about’-look. You gave him the ‘I-really-don’t-have-a-fucking-clue-what-you’re-talking-about-so-tell-me-now’-kind of look.

‘You said it yourself E: she has a good ass!’

You look at him in shock. It was weird hearing Grayson making comments about your ass - well just any ass - without getting red and flushed.

‘I never said that!’ Ethan would never say something like that about you!

‘Yea you did, like three days ago,’ Grayson says while taking the controller from you hands. ‘But don’t worry, I won’t tell Sophia tonight.’ He chuckles at his own joke. He walked towards the PlayStation and turns it off.

‘Is she gonna be there too?’ You mentally roll your eyes. Your energy level for this party just dropped to minus 6.

‘Yea, so let’s have some diner and get ready for this party,’ Grayson says as he walks out of his room. When he’s halfway down the stairs you hear him laugh and say:

‘and don’t forget to bring protection! We don’t want any surprises in 9 months!’

thank you for reading!! leave a comment if you feel like it!!

please read the DISCLAIMER at the top!!

also:

- i wrote a short grayson imagine but its not that good should i still post it???

- do you guys want me to make a master list? if so: let me know!! my ask

TAGS : @asapethan , @gabrielle-stark & @coconutethan here you go babes!!

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan imagines #ethan grant dolan #ethan dolan one shot #ethan dolan x reader #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan imagines #grayson and ethan #dolan twins #the dolan twins #it's a boy-girl thing

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tamiddyinyourcity · 4 years

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Its 2:22am, and its not stopping me from being on my bullshit, but i shall make an attempt.

Sunday, January 5th of 2020!

Random memories to get off my chest:

That time I turned Patrick on more with me wearing a slinky black sundress than with my own self. But then again, i thought it was super hot too..... Mr and Mrs Smith movie cover sexiness, honestly.

How we broke up maybe a day or two before our planned, "Let me take you to a really nice restaurant", date.... But whatever, I would've gotten dressed up to the tens, and he probably wouldn't even be able to muster up a compliment. He'd probably even complain. "Those heels make you taller than me. I like your real hair better. I thought you would wear your other wig." Like, shut the fuck up dude.

The time we banged up at the view for the first time. Cute, and ridiculously cramped. I have no idea how we made that work, but he looks sexy when i can only see the outline of him in the dark. The moon kinda lit up his back..... Hot image, hard to describe, but he looked good that night.

The first time I kissed him with flavored chapstick on. It would've been easier to pull apart two weapon-grade Magnets away from eachother, than it would have been to keep his lips off of me. Hella nice.

The time we walked around the entire lake, in the dark.... Fun to be in his presence. I was a little somber, thinking, "Is this how the night would have gone if I didn't dump him a few nights before?"..... But the problem needed to be resolved. And it wasnt...... so leaving was the best option.

The way he smiled when he heard that, yes Patrick; I tried to bang my hot ex, also named Patrick, and failed, since he just wasnt anything like you are. (Oh, how the tables had TURNED. The way he kinda chuckled and tried to hide it was amusing, in a, "Yeah yeah, enjoy that ego boost while it lasts", sort of way.)

Our date at Lolas Chicken and Waffles. I told him more than eight times about it being a Chicken and Waffle BLT sandwich, and when we ordered it, he pitched a bitch about it.... For fucks sake, did he ever listen to me? Anyway, he wasnt that ecstatic, but enjoyed it either way i guess.... He's a little robotic in his personality, but thats also a reason to like him. Its endearing. "Sure, youre not great at a lot of things, but youre still a great person to be around, even if youre like an aimless roomba", is the best way to describe my passiveness over his actions sometimes......

That time we painted at the graveyard. He was so cute that day, which definitely didnt help with my weird tsundere-ness, about not wanting to ask if it was a date or not, in fear of getting my hopes up, just for a rejection.....

....hm.

I'm noticing a trend, in our relationship patterns.

I get disinterested or distance myself emotionally = suddenly Patrick perked up and wanted to pursue me further.

I compliment him/get intimate/actually look forward to seeing him = he does that thing where he zones out, glares more, and just acts strangely.

......

Jesus.

It's amusing to reflect on, but.... jesus.

Like the times I called him, just to let him know I was getting cold feet about things with him and needed some space, where the times he wanted me the most. (I actually did consider leaving the relationship at several points, mainly from his hot-and-coldness getting on my nerves, or a lack of consistency and/or spontaneity in our relationship.)

There's only so many times you can come to a guy's house and do nothing, and then not have anything stimulating, other than quick sex before work, go down.....

But, I think he was pretty hellbent on trying to actually achieve at the whole "have a relationship with Tamia" thing. I don't know why. Either an inferiority complex he wanted removed, or he did truly like me. And despite him telling me that sometimes, i still cant believe him....

I guess me being upfront with "i dont like the idea of training someone about how to act in relationships", made him realize.... "Ah fuck, i gotta take hints and put in an effort without being directed on every single thing???? God."

He did have a handbook technically, nigga knew all of my blogs AND both my instagrams.....i could deadass make a post and hed be like "hey hows it going, are you okay?" and i appreciated that.

But what I mean is, he had to use his intuition, instead of me making demands. The huge difference between "Hmm, maybe I should surprise Tamia with her favorite type of flowers and candy, since she probably forgot she ever told me about them".

Versus, "Hey Patrick, go to a flower shop and buy me lillies and peanut m&m's, or i will steal your teeth at dawn".

The latter is horrifying, and an unsafe relationship that would lead to abuse of power from a partner. And the looking ultimatum of, "displease me or ill leave you".

Versus.... "Hey Patrick! Ready to go to santa cruz? Oh, whats this? Ohhhhh shit, OOOOOOH SHIT.... AWWWWWW.... WHAT THE FUCK, awww!!!! This is so cute!!!", and me, feeling like I'm going to vomit or cry from all the excitement of a sweet and surprising gesture, from someone who's making an effort to show they wanna be with me.....

Versus someone who wouldn't make an effort unless demanded. (Thank god i set a decent bar..... i already have had relationships where i had to tell someone what to do, and it did get very lazy and toxic. No amount of food or clothing can make me like a person who wouldnt put any real thought or effort into dates or gifts..... a "human credit card" isnt fun, not when i actually want to be a longer term relationship with a person.....)

.....

And I think the flowers and candy actually sealed the deal, honestly.

Since then, my ex called me that night, all annoyed to learn I had moved on. (What idiot gets jealous of their ex girlfriend moving on, when theyre pounding ass and partying non stop? Last time i checked, ill wait on ubers, orders in the mail, and checks, but not grown men with fucking commitment issues.)

And well, i dunno....

If Brunette Patrick never put in the effort to get me the flowers and candy, would i still have rejected Yellow Patrick?

.....yes, actually.

Since it was still someone who liked me enough to go, "I want you to come with me miles out of town, hella far out, to meet all my good friends from college, and i really want you there with me to have a really good time."

......

Thats what stood out the most to me.

.....

Funny, I remember the time Yellow Patrick introduced me to his friends.

Nigga was like, "Hey im bringing my main girl with me to pride"..... hot mess.

It's odd knowing I liked YP, since I no longer do now.

....

2:58am, my face is hot. Oh crap. I left a mean voicemail to YP.

Craaaaaaaap.

I mean..... the truth will set you free, and that nigga cut me off once his feelings got hurt over dumb shit anyway, so fuck him! He's gonna go back to plowing girls he's "not attracted to", and then pretending he doesnt have emotions, or whateverthefuck.

.........

I used to like YP.

He was thoughtful, considerate, sensual, sexy. A great personality. Charismatic. EXTREMELY fit. Healthy. Protective. Kind. Caring. I got to tell him things that others never learned about me...... Our relationship started off with me just thinking, "He's cocky, an airhead, and a player. But he's hot and not looking to settle down, and neither am I, so I don't wish to be anything serious with him."

Then he surprised me. Was a horndog, but not to the extent of being obsessed with strictly sex. He did the whole "wait till the 3rd date to have sex" thing, and I was surprised..... but, it was pleasant.

And then he surprisingly was still into me.

More than I thought.

Since not more than a day after we had slept together, falling asleep in his arms, and I thought, "Alright, ill be mildly annoyed if ghosted but I'm contented with it happening".... Nope, he messaged me, asked if I was free the next night.

We went to In And Out, scored free Giants tickets, went up to the view.... and we kissed next to the city skyline.

A very slow, soft, passionate kiss on an otherwise really cold night.

.....Then he said, "I like you a lot more than I thought."

We got back in his car.... He didn't wanna have sex, and I was relieved. Car sex is cramped as fuck. But, we kissed. And talked.... Just, talked. About things we haven't told other people. Personal stories... I wont share them here. And just in general, that he isnt the type to bang on the first date, (i rolled my eyes, he literally tried to grope and tongue kiss me the first date!) and that he was just interested in me romantically, and genuinely had an interest that wasnt based strictly on lust.

......Surprising, but not unwelcomed.

Theeen cue one of the greatest summers of my life. I still blush thinking about all of it.... What a nice boy. We used to get dressed to the 10s, we walked arm in arm into the Giants game together, got on kiss cam and everything.

.....One could cry reflecting on how big the change was from then and till now, but I'm deciding that I didn't drink enough water today, and should be careful for myself.

But, I genuinely had strong feelings for that boy, over time.

He knew it himself too, he went from bragging to me about being poly and never wanting to settle down, since theres "just so much variety out there and im too young to not consider all my options".....

To suddenly holding his hand over mine one night over pasta and wine, looking me in the eyes, and going, "If not for college, then there would be nothing stopping me from pursuing you. Monogamously..... One hundred percent."

And theeeen continuing on to give a different rendition of the same shit he said at the start of our relationship, but with a "I really want nothing more but to be with you, but I need at least 6 figures in the bank, my own apartment, and to be on track for all of my goals first".

......yeesh, couldve just said nothing, but he IS a little....... dim, of a person, so i suppose it was his way of saying, "i like you, but i dont want to drag you along monogamously if it means i may be headed in a direction unstable for us".

So, i chose to respect that.

....

Things got complicated.

......

I'll just say....

It went well.

But, life did happen. And he never did the whole, "We can figure out a way to stay in touch while im in college" thing he had swore wed do....

Texts went unread for hours, or even days. With responses ranging from "Hey sorry was studying" to "hey, sorry, there was a huge party, and then some girl came over so i was stuck with her for a while, lol".

.....I see it hypocritical the way he shunned me before.

When he first returned from college, he had stories of "I tried to screw two girls, but I wasn't that attracted to either of them, honestly, and could never get it up".......

And I had stories of, "I had sex with maybe three dudes, and one doesnt count, one was a fling, and the other just hadnt been able to satisfy me." (I still feel bad for things I ever wrote about having sex with BP, but.... they did resolve the problem, once he found out the factors to not enjoying it much.)

Anyway, then me and YP kissed.... held eachother for maybe an hour straight, just to feel close with eachother after months of missing each other.

Us hugging alone like that had more spark, sexual tension, and soothing peace than any of the emotionally unavailable people I fucked in those two to three months. (I would yet again say "sorry, bp", but he shouldnt have been all "uhhh...... it feels fine?", to me, every time we fucked, just to be surprised that a hug from someone i genuinely loved made me aroused amd orgasm more than when with him....)

And things felt right.

We opened up. Got vulnerable. Talked.... No facades or charades, just straight up, "its been really hard not seeing you", and "i havent had this feeling in ages, definitely not with anybody but you".

Hell, he even cried with me before, in the pause break before sex.

About how heartbreaking it was that due to college, he'd never be able to see me, or be with me in the way he wanted.

...........

Sigh.

......

It was a very sweet night.

But like all things good, they come to an end.

Since guess what?

He then acted like none of our talks had ever happened.

Went back to short text messages, and leaving me on read. Ghosting me. Bland replies. Refusing to talk about things. Never finding a fucking resolution of his own for our shit....

And in the time between that night, and the night at Santa Cruz, (about a month and a half or more,) I found a boyfriend.

Since Patrick wasn't waiting around for me, and not showing me the so called love and care he had for me........

Well, a month is a long time.

In a month of leaving the girl you've stopped focusing on, she had:

Made up with the last person she fucked, despite saying he wasnt as good as you in bed, or at emotionally connecting with her.

Went out on dates with him, sometimes almost every other day in a week. Painting, texting, talking, banging, hanging out idly, walking with his dog.... overall, she found a person who doesnt treat her like an afterthought.

Communicated her fears with this new guy! Talked about you, getting over you, being unsure of trusting relationships again, as well as the problems she had with her new boo thang. He communicates with her back! Secrets, insecurities, wishes, goals in life. Your girl bonds with someone new and starts to appreciate them even more.

Gotten drunk with him at a Halloween party, where they are the only two there in costume, before damn near fucking in the back of his Prius till sunrise.

Great sex, with an entirely new human being! The sex improves dramatically! Congratulations, you are no longer one of the best people she's had sex with. Or at the very least, no longer the one she's got all her attention on anymore.

Got talked into traveling with them, miles away from home, into the distant lands of Santa Cruz, to meet complete strangers, and bonding with him even more.

Is now really into this guy, very highly.

......

So, when you spent Halloween barely replying to her texts, and once again dodging responsibility, that's when it all happened.

The party in Berkeley. The fun party. The scrabble. The kissing. The steamed car windows and the moment feelings grew for him in a very noticeable way.

...

And then you're continuing to ignore her texts. She's giving up. She's at a 2nd party with her boyfriend, now a teeny bit tipsy, and surrounded by his dope ass friends for the night.

She's having a good ass time!

.....

Then, you start texting. More and more. But oh no, when she tells you shes got a boyfriend now, suddenly.... you get off.

.....

I'm realizing I'm still speaking in a different perspective, hold up.

....

So, *I* told him that I was at a party with my boyfriend. Nigga got all confused. I said it was an open relationship, but even so, BP is still my boyfriend, nonetheless.

Aaaaand YP gets sooo..... hurt.

....

And I think, "why?"

Out of all the times to care about me, its when I have already chosen a bond with someone else?

Someone who also wasn't for sure a guaranteed long term relationship, BUT never gave me a "id date you, but i need 10k in the bank and whatever whatever", "to date me" rule.

I almost sympathized. "Well, its not like he's emotionally attached to the girls he brings back to his bedroom!", my headass self considered. "It's entirely different from having a new relationship".

And my answer to that was, "He sure as hell isn't emotionally attached to the girl he *loves*, now is he? My texts wouldve never been this stalled if he wasnt actively looking for new bodies to suck on. So, he can be upset all he wants, but, hes not gonna fix shit."

He couldve been monogamous with me.... But chose to break up with me and be "just friends", then not treat me as a friend... use me as a fucktoy when he came back for one single night, cried some crocodile tears, then fucked off without wanting to show me that he meant a single word he told me about feeling in pain without me around...

What a dumbass he was!

I can date anyone I want, if i am single, and you forfeited your chances off the bat.

So, exfuckingcuse me, then.

....christ.

Anywho.

And yeah, I used to be in love with that guy, to an extent. I'll chalk it up to, "My first actually stable relationship that did not entirely end up as a big dumpster fire of a relationship ending....."

....

Feels good reflecting on our relationship.

Its much harder to hate someone, if i can at least look back on things and go, "they really were the best for me at that given time".

I had adored them so much.

3:47am, feeling a little sentimental tonight.

.....hes so stupid, but i still like him, in a much more personal way than i would let him know.

I barely remember what I said in the voicemail to him, all I know is that I used the words, "whore", "thotting around", and "fucking any bitch right here or there", so.... i doubt ill get positive messages tomorrow morning.

But he can suck my dick.

Even if i dont remember jack shit, most likely, it was all truth.

And yeah.

.......

How did we get so seperated?

#exes #patrick #yikes #wow

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j-mats · 5 years

Text

J mat 15

Things that can fly walking

Only reason im alive be ause ppl who want to kill me have to get on stage to do it. People judging in audience wtf you stabbed him in the neck man thats a bitch move

Im kinda dissapointed that my phone cant walk.

.put it on d floor. Look it doesnt do anything. I have to do everything. U kno poke it in the right place. U know back in the day if u were poking something man you were probably retarded.

Man back in the day people were working the engines hitting eachother w abig stick

W afan

I wanna go see a farm..but i might get murdered. Raped. I wanna go see..

Evolution. Became huge beasts killers while humans were like "this place is uncomfortable. Make bed house fire. Thaat thing is annoying lets make something that kills it

I wanna do this! Oh wait that requires time and effort

Flying suit jumping. It seems like alot of funi want to do it. U know what also seems fun. Getting a bunch of friends together and shoot an arrow sttaight up in the air. Seems like alotta fun. But im not gona do it

Havna bby. Build tv ill bring a remote. Divorce n takes tv fucking whore

Im not following a fire it killed. N he said no that huy lived

How did they meet each other "im huge bro bro im huge too" and they were just friends after that. Hafthor crew

Feel like its alot easier to get someone to kill me here

Dont pretend you dont care about that 1 sports. You are americans sports is a religion here

Im not black... but i feel black when i watch basketball. When a black guy dunks a white im like "yeah fuck you white guy.. this aint yo sport"

Frozon usain bolt

"I cant improvise" huh? Like what you mean. Your whole life is improvised.

God just threw u here babayvoixe* "what should i do?? "I dno fuckoff im never talking to you again do whatever" but can i call you. Can i pray. Yeah but nothing is gonna happen

And he had big long and veiny(heart)) ...just pumping and pumping (heart)).. actually now that i think about it that might have been his cock and he molested me..(and i was molested)

Whos insecure anout his sexuality. Im notgaybut i like hot water on my ass in the shower.....

excetra(more things)....thinking of all those things for a joke

Why are people in such a hurry to go 60 mph

I was laying there like this picture me naked. Alright stop you guys . Have you ever been with a thousand people who are picturing you naked dude.. its even wierder then it sounds.

But anyways i was laying in bed likethis.. mmmmm this is so nice i love this.. then my girlfriend started banging on the door GUNNAR GUNNAR GuN- What you fucking whore.. and then she broke up with me (B)

Hve u ever been so fked u forget ur fked.

2higj talkin to 2 girls

Inside artificial playground. U dont even know why youre tgere ur mom just went be a kid here now. Wow just 30 secs ago i was a kid over there now im a kid here AAAAAAAGGGGHJJJ Then you just start running through a tube like a psycho n then u meet another kid in the tube n ur like "who the fuck is this dude"

2 numbers cant be a pattern. 1 mathmetician watching this YEAss you can! With a math joke that no1 gets except his one friend that he explained it to 3 times and he thought it was ok

Sleepin in area51

This guy had a triple x tat on his neck n scar inhis face. I asked him if he had stories. "Nah not really" i went huhh? It was dissapointing but here are some stories i thought he was gona tell:

((Hardcore voice))

1. I was working as a bouncer right 'thats tight' i said. This guy broughtabanana ther n kielled him son 'right on' i said

))Then i chopped his hand off oh thats that talibanana i says((

Modern aciencw is basically magic...

Back in the day they wuld b like thats magic dude and then they would die of illness at 23

Cut to character on the phone "the fucking whore took the kids"

Call theo.

Its Gunnar from iceland

Im illegaly high right now allegedly sitting in my igloo fucking my cousins.. and uhh a polar bear ate one of my cousins actually.. but thats okay.

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