#they had a link to some online training course autistic people could do. that you have to PAY to take

[katya-goncharov]

checked the employability resources for neurodivergent people on my university's website and oh my gosh are the This Is Ableist alarm bells ringing in me

#they had a link to some online training course autistic people could do. that you have to PAY to take #as in like over £30 per module that apparently only takes less than an hour to complete?! #that seemed to be about how to make YOURSELF more employable to neurotypical people and learn to act ''the right way'' in the workplace #and idk... maybe it's a well-known thing maybe it's genuinely helpful to people #it WAS an autism charity that was offering the courses. i don't know if it's one of the bad ones or not. difficult to tell #but just. the fact that they're asking disabled people to pay to make themselves more palatable to employers and presumably learn to #mask better. BAD vibes bad vibes bad vibes #i would just much rather see a list of job offers that are specifically neurodivergent friendly and catered to make the best use of our #natural skills. than some course we have to pay for that's all about changing how WE operate

[somefactssomeopinions]

Mental Health

Note – I may not provide opinions on this post. This isn’t certain.

Note 2 – I will be speaking as though his death was caused by Mental Health issues. Things are still being uncovered about his death.

Note 3 – I dislike people who self-diagnose because they tend to be attention seekers and ruin opportunities for people with the problems to actually come out. They take away the feeling of people with the actual problem. I used to self-diagnose (will later get into it) however I have grown out of that phase now.

Note 4 – I am not a psychologist

Following Jonghyun’s death, I have seen reports of this death be linked to suicide and mental health. I want to speak about Mental Health and I feel like this helps me talk about it. This seems cruel and rude, may even be seen as me using his situation as an excuse. I don’t want to refrain from this as I know I wouldn’t have spoken about this topic if nothing related to Mental Health had come up, whether that is because of Jonghyun or another figure that is important in peoples lives.

Who was Jonghyun? Kim Jong-hyun was the lead singer of a very well known South Korean K-Pop group known as Shinee. His stage name of Jonghyun was very well known throughout the community of K-Pop and he had made many songs that resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. His death has affected many people in all walks of life and it brings attention to a hard-to-get-into topic. Mental Health. 

How common are Mental Health “problems”? Well, for one, there is a test you can take online or read a book on lots of known mental health “problems” and no matter who you are, you will most likely have one. The reason the word ‘Problem’ is put into speech marks is that they are actually not problems but more of a difference. This difference isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, some mental “problems” such as High-Functioning Autism are so interesting. A show you can watch on Netflix is about a High-Functioning Autistic teenager/adult known as “Atypical”.

How do most of them start? From personal experiences, I can say that mental health problems almost all commonly stem from a thing known as “expressive suppression”. Not all forms start like this. E.g. Depression. There are two types of depression. One of them is a mood and one of them is a hormone problem in your physical system. The mood may be something like extreme sadness such as after a breakup. What is Expressive Suppression? Expressive suppression is when something as small as hiding certain emotions can affect you in disastrous ways. A reason(s) expressive suppression may come about is due to someone trying to show off an image they prefer of themselves, due to their environment or due to their beliefs. In fact: “simply suppressing the facial expressions that accompany certain emotions can affect “the individual’s experience of emotion” (Niedenthal, 2006, 165).”. It changes your day to day life. This is supported by the fact that when you fake a smile, you start to genuinely smile. Try it.

This then, of course, branches off into different illnesses such as social anxiety which can lead to even larger problems. I am no psychologist and let me make this clear: I self-diagnosed myself with expressive suppression due to how I was and felt a couple years/months back. Mental health is also (largely) the main reason people kill themselves, (every 40 seconds another life is lost due to suicide, it’s one of the largest causes of death). Their mental state may be prone to change due to how their families are, friends, school, physical well-being and amount of exercise. This isn’t to say that you can’t get better.

You can get better. You can. You can call multiple hotlines for different things such as:

Suicide Hotline UK:  116 123 (All week, 24 hours)

Anxiety Hotline UK:  08444 775 774 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-5.30pm)

If you’re already suffering:  0300 5000 927 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm)

For parents/teens: https://youngminds.org.uk/https://youngminds.org.uk/

Why should you? Well, why not? There is going to be a tough segment in this section which will work with some people and not with others. If you don’t speak about your problems because you’re afraid to burden others, why wouldn’t you try and help yourself instead of distancing yourself? You shouldn’t put people that care about you in emotional turmoil when you may have a chance of changing it. It may not feel like it but nothing feels like it may happen at first. I never thought I would get with my current girlfriend but I did and now the thought of us separating is bizarre to me. You can’t know something unless you try it. And if you fail, try again. You shouldn’t fear failure. And if you do fear failure, message me and explain to me why so I understand and try to help then.

My personal view on mental health: I believe you can get past it as long as you talk and aren’t afraid. This is much easier said then done. Some people don’t bother telling anyone anything due to their fear of being rejected or bothering the other person. A “great” example of this is Melanie Martinez’s victim. You may be afraid of speaking to friends because they may not understand or listen which is completely rational. However, you need to know that “No one will understand” isn’t a valid excuse. There are so many people out there. If you don’t understand where I’m coming from, let me explain it like this.

Imagine the past however many of your life. Imagine how unique you feel it is. Now imagine that for the 180 people in your school year, the thousands of people in your town, the millions in your cities. So many unique experiences and 7.5 billion people to share them with. People are professionally trained to deal with a problem that may be specific to you, charities which may be specific to you. Whether your problem is that you got raped or you are suffering from depression. There are people out there that will understand. 

Important: I am not calling you stupid or ungrateful. Quite the opposite. I’m merely giving you reasons as to why you should seek help if possible, why you shouldn’t feel this specific way. Obviously, you can’t control your disease inside out, but you can subdue it. You can’t force the others around you to listen, but you can find people that will. A man you can look up to for this is a YouTuber known as Daniel Howell, an internet persona who had clinical depression and did something about it. (I chose him as he has a large reach, audience, articulation and lots of people fall under his wing and he understands, not just due to him being famous)

How can you help? You can help by doing a lot. Providing a shoulder to cry on, being kind, telling the other person it’s okay. I am very good at reading emotions so I can tell when something is off very easily so I ask the person “Are you okay?” and they reply with “Yes.” I don’t want to pry on and make them feel pressured and you shouldn’t unless you are certain there is a chance it will benefit them. Also, don’t treat mental illness as serious when someone serious dies. I understand this is contradictory to the reason I had started this post with but millions of people suffer. Mental Illnesses shouldn’t only be highlighted when someone huge is suffering from it. Sometimes you can’t even tell if someone has a problem like in the case of Jonghyun. This is even worse. I don’t know how to help these people. I wish I could.

I dislike this post as I couldn’t convey the messages I wanted to preach or be able to articulate well. I believe it sounds forceful and commanding and degrades people with these problems rather than helps. If you’re reading this, please tell me how I can improve on sensitive posts like this. Thank you for reading.

Edit 1 -- I have found out that South Korea also has one of the highest suicide rates in the world so the likeliness of Jonghyun killing himself is high. The pressures on him, the dependency presented by the fans on him and the struggle of his work may have been too much for him. 40 people (on average) kill themselves in South Korea a day. I am still talking as if his death is caused by a suicide. More information is being released.

#jonghyun #depression #mental health #mental disorder #help #try