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#mental disorder

Essere il mio appiglio non è facile.

Avrei continuamente bisogno di te.

Ho un continuo bisogno di supporto.

Devo poterti chiamare anche la notte

e tu devi esserci

per aiutarmi a non andare fuori di testa.

Devi ripetermi sempre le stesse frasi quando ne ho bisogno.

Devi riportarmi con i piedi per terra quando volo troppo.

Devi sopportare le mie lune storte.

Devi abbracciarmi anche se ti dico di starmi lontana.

Devi saper capire quando non va

perché io non aprirò bocca.

Devi aiutarmi durante gli attacchi di panico.

Devi riprendermi quando sto per fare una cazzata.

Devi fermarmi quando sono troppo istintiva.

Devi saper farmi ragionare

quando tutto è confuso.

Devi sapere come tirarmi su quando crollo.

Devi aiutarmi con i miei mostri.

Devi credermi

anche quando dico cose assurde.

Devi farmi sentire la tua presenza

SEMPRE.

Devi amarmi anche se è più facile odiarmi.

So che è troppo, ma è ciò di cui ho bisogno.

• V.aw.🛎😶

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Live with no regrets

Nobody is perfect. Equally important is knowing how to forgive yourself. Do not obsess over your past mistakes. The more you obsess and hold on to it, the more energy and power you give it. So, let it go, learn from it and move on.

- Forgive yourself for a mistake you made or something you’ve done that you regret. Allow yourself to let go.


18.01.2021

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Having a massive headache and feeling dizzy. I just want to sleep, but can’t. I’m at my mom’s home and I have therapy in like one hour. Later I will go to the dentist and that’s my excuse to not eat cause I’m in pain and yes I am but not as bad so I can’t eat. Anyways. Feel bad, like always. Nothing new.

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image

Day 20:

Right now, I’ll say my weki meki inspired diet that I do for my YouTube channel.

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The hardest part of having depression is the fact you know someone out there has it worse than you yet your in so much pain as it is that trying to fathom more pain just leaves you feeling numb to the core. I’m in so much pain it feels unbearable…. how do the people who have it worse than me feel? I can’t wrap my head around it.

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A really funny thing happend today, I mean tonight… So I forgot to took my stupid sleep pill(that my doctor give) and then I mean now I cant take it and I feel like a stupid bat, because it is in my parents room and they wake up so easily. I tried to take it but they were like “wtf? Who are u? Whatchu doin here?” i Was like’ calm down i Drink ma waterrr" and couldn’t take it. And I cant say to them that i forgot to take ma stupid pill, and found out about it at 3 o'clock. WHY I AM SO STUPID??? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I can’t tell them cuz the last time I was unserious I ended up with temperature.

I hope I Fell asleep eventually..

P. S: i Was writing this to let the time pass

Bye

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Does anyone ever get the feeling that they just need to punch something until their whole body breaks, but you also know that your weak and you can’t control your limbs so you just lay there spiralling out of control? It feels like something is trying to break and hurt you and you want to let it but you also never move.

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