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calenheniel · 4 years

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Disappearing Act, a frozen fanfic | iii.

Frozen | Hans, Elsa | Alternate Universe, Drama | G+

She wanted to disappear. He wanted a purpose. Together, they would pull off an impossible feat before the final curtain call.

Part i | Part ii | Updates: #DisappearingActFrozen

Author’s Note: Thanks again, everyone! Sorry if I did a fake out last week with this note; there are actually four parts to this story, not three. Enjoy!

»»————-　❈　————-««

iii.

“In my old life,” he began, “I was never satisfied. I always wanted more.”

Her brow rose. “Even though you were already wealthy?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t about money for me—it never has been. I sure as hell wouldn’t have taken up this kind of work if it were,” he replied. “It was more that I… didn’t feel important, or respected. I didn’t think I had any purpose in this world, except to watch all of my brothers succeed and thrive where I couldn’t.”

She frowned. “And why couldn’t you, as well?”

His shoulders tensed, rising nearly to his ears. “Because I was – am – the last of them. I would inherit nothing, be responsible for nothing, take pride in nothing—and yet be wanting of nothing all the same, because it would have been unthinkable to allow one of the Westergard sons to become publicly destitute.”

“Is that your real family name? Westergard?” she asked.

He nodded, flexing his hands in his gloves. “Yes. And with that name, I didn’t know who I was outside of it. It felt as though I had nothing to live for, save for passing fancies at cards or in brothels. And so, I made something up,” he said, and glanced at her. “Something you won’t like.”

Elsa’s lips pursed. “Try me.”

He sighed. “One of my oldest brothers – Kristian – was engaged to a young noblewoman by the name of Lady Therese. It was arranged by my father, of course, as the marriage would bring quite a lot of wealth to our family, and Kristian was a renowned and admired naval admiral who would likewise bring good repute to hers, which had obtained their wealth through… less than honorable means, to put it kindly.” His nose twitched at the recollection. “But Kristian seemed to be genuinely infatuated with the girl, and made that infatuation well-known to anyone who would listen to his blathering. Naturally, I hated it, and, well… I couldn’t help but want to test his true feelings—to see if he really cared at all for her, or just for her money.”

Elsa sucked in a breath. “… Hans, you didn’t.”

He chuckled. “Indeed I did—I went after his bride-to-be with my most convincing lovesick act, figuring that if she didn’t leave Kristian for me and offer me her money instead, then at least I got to get under the Admiral’s – and my father’s – skin,” he said, and added: “I knew it was risky, but… if I’m honest, the whole affair made me feel really alive for the first time in a long while. Even if it ended up with me here, and their lives largely unchanged.”

“So what happened?” she countered. “I take it that your scheme didn’t go as planned.”

“Indeed not. Needless to say, the first part went off without a hitch and the girl was madly in love with me and promised to me within a week, but the second part…” He wore a cynical smile. “Well, her father didn’t take too kindly to the idea of marrying his prized filly off to the youngest son, who had no standing or character to speak of. So he called off both our secret engagement, as well as the official one to my brother, and I was made to tell Therese that I am a scoundrel and a charlatan who was only after her money, so that she might forget about me and move on to find a more suitable match—who, I might add,” he continued with a chuckle, “would probably also only be after her for her money, anyway.”

She crossed her arms. “That’s it? That was your only punishment?”

Hans scoffed. “Of course not. My father put me on house arrest and took all of my privileges away – spending allowances, attending parties, even reading in the estate’s library, which was, to be honest, my only real pleasure – and arranged a marriage for me to a homely and dull creature from a rich family in a backwater province, with whom I would be sent to live after the papers were signed.” He eyed his hands for a moment, and began to loosen the gloves from his fingers, his smile widening. “Obviously, that never happened, as I fled well before the ceremony could ever take place. However, I must hand it to the old man—it would’ve been a very fitting punishment, and it still amuses me on some level to consider.”

She paused as he removed the gloves, glancing at her own. “Did they try to find you?” she asked.

He shrugged again. “Probably. I’ve tried to avoid looking at papers since I left, though, so who knows? I can’t imagine that they’d spend much effort to look for me once I was out of the Isles. International detective work is expensive, and I don’t think Father could afford it, since I cost him two weddings’ worth of easy money.” He continued: “Anyway, this is the last place any of them would ever think to find me. None of them are interesting enough to even dream of it.”

“And no one here suspects that you’re not who you say you are?”

He shifted in his seat. “Oh, they do. I think it’s just… understood here that everyone’s got a past they’re running from. And if you don’t ask about theirs, they don’t ask about yours. Suits me pretty well, even if the place smells like a horse’s ass half the time.”

“But you’ve started doing really well, recently,” she pointed out. “Aren’t you concerned that you’re attracting more attention?”

“Not particularly,” he replied. “But if I did, I’d just move on again. Find another job, lay low, et cetera. I don’t have to tell you how this works.”

She looked down, her hands knitting together. “I know, it just… sounds exhausting.”

“Because it is,” he agreed. “I’m tired all the time, these days.”

He tossed his gloves onto a table nearby, and stared at her for a long while. When she finally met his gaze, he added:

“Isn’t it the same for you?”

»» —— ««

She laid in bed for a while, hardly blinking as she stared up at the cloth roof over her head.

The snores of the other women in the shared quarters echoed around her, sometimes quieting to a lull before roaring to full volume again without warning. Her bunkmate on the bed below shifted in her sleep, and the mattress creaked.

She sat up, carefully laying her moth-eaten blanket to the side, and climbed down the bunk ladder to the ground. Throwing on her blue cloak, gloves, and shoes, she took up a small lantern and a box of matches from a chair nearby.

When she stepped out of the tent, darkness greeted her; striking a match and lighting the lamp, she took a long inhale, and walked towards the stables.

»» —— ««

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“No. Not a wink. You?”

“I don’t sleep much. Besides, Sitron likes the company.”

“I can tell.”

“So what brought you here? The smell is only going to keep you awake.”

“I—I suppose it was the thought of you. Of our chat.”

“Glad to know you associate me with horseshit.”

“That’s not what I—you know what I meant.”

“Yes. And… I suppose it was the thought of you that brought me here, too. Reminds me of our first real conversation. Do you remember?”

“Of course I do.”

»» —— ««

They gazed at each other in silence for a moment, their cheeks warm; then, he turned back to Sitron, continuing to brush his mane.

She looked down, and bit her lip to keep it from quivering.

»» —— ««

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s—it’s about my past. Why I came here.”

“Elsa, you don’t have to tell me anything.”

“I know, but… I want to. I want to tell you.”

“… then I won’t stop you.”

»» —— ««

He paused, setting down the brush; she sighed, and let her hands fall by her sides.

The air was colder than before.

»» —— ««

“I told you that I had parents and a sister, once.”

“Yes. And that they had passed.”

“They did. But… not in the way you might think.”

“What happened to them?”

“I… it was my fault. All of it was because of me, and my—it’s my fault.”

“What are you saying, Elsa?”

»» —— ««

He shuddered as she closed her eyes, and then – meeting his stare – she removed her gloves, one by one, letting them fall to the ground whereupon they stood.

With the slightest movement of her bare hand, a snowflake the size of an apple and made entirely of ice appeared in her palm. It rotated slowly, suspended in mid-air above her skin.

His breath caught in his throat.

»» —— ««

“It’s… real. The rumors were true.”

“Not all of them, but… yes. Many were.”

“Funny to think that when I first saw your act, I just assumed it was sleight of hand and plays of light, but seeing it now… how could this be possible?”

“I don’t know; I’ve never known.”

“Does anyone else know about it?”

“No one, except my family. And they suffered for it.”

»» —— ««

The snowflake vanished from her hand, and her fingers curled into a tight fist, her knuckles turning white.

He took one step closer to her.

»» —— ««

“Elsa, what happened?”

»» —— ««

She wept without restraint, and buried her face in her hands.

The cold was biting, and the horses whinnied.

»» —— ««

“I didn’t mean to do it—I don’t even know why it happened. I was just so afraid, and angry at being hidden away for so many years, that I lashed out, and… I couldn’t control it.”

“Hidden away?”

“Yes. I struck Anna by accident as a child, and my parents became so frightened that they kept me under close guard at all times thereafter. I was made to wear those gloves as well; Father hoped they would contain me, somehow. I couldn’t even remember the last time I went without them, until I came here. But none of that matters, because I… I hurt them. I froze them. And I didn’t know how to – no, couldn’t fix it – so I left.”

“Elsa… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for me. I don’t deserve that, and I don’t want that, either. I’m a monster and a witch and every other vile thing that’s been said about me, and worse.”

“Stop it.”

»» —— ««

The temperature paused in its descent ever-downward as she looked up at him.

»» —— ««

“You’re no monster, Elsa. Your magic is… special. A gift.”

“How could you say that? After hearing what I’ve done—”

“And what about me? A scoundrel, philanderer, a fraud—and, according to some, a grasping and devious son of a whore, to boot.”

“You know it’s not the same. Not even close.”

“My point is: whatever happened, it happened when you were alone and afraid, and didn’t understand your own strength. But look at you now: you can speak with me freely without hurting me, and bring joy to many people, night after night, with your magic. Surely that is not the work of a witch, is it?”

“Just ‘pedestrian parlor tricks,’ as you once put it.”

“No—not just that. It’s much more than that, it’s… beautiful.”

“You’re… not afraid of it? Of me?”

“Why should I be?”

»» —— ««

She saw only sincerity in his expression, and in seeing this, her sobs started afresh.

»» —— ««

“It doesn’t change what I’ve done. And what I may do to others, should I lose control again.”

“But why not try to control it better here, and practice more through your act? What do you have left to lose?”

“More than you know. Including—”

»» —— ««

Her tear-filled eyes met his for a brief moment—and in that moment, he understood.

»» —— ««

“So you intend to disappear.”

“Yes.”

“With my help.”

“Yes.”

“And what comes after?”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you: nothing ever really just vanishes into thin air, like your snowflake. It is moved somewhere else temporarily, until the magician puts it back into plain sight. So even if I were to do this, I don’t think it would work out the way you want it to.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

»» —— ««

He frowned, and his chin sunk to his chest.

The first light of morning was beginning to break over the horizon.

»» —— ««

“I don’t want to help you, Elsa.”

“I know.”

“And if I refuse?”

“You can. I won’t force you to do anything.”

“And yet, you’re very good at getting me to do what you want, anyway.”

»» —— ««

The light crept into the barn, casting a long line across the dirt below before climbing up to illuminate their faces.

He put his hands in his pockets, and looked down at his boots, still shadowed by darkness. Her discarded gloves lay close to his feet, and he bent down to pick them up, handing them back to her.

She looked at them with hesitation, at first; then, she inhaled deeply, and took them from him.

When their eyes met again, his expression was hard and set, and the sunrise was nearly blinding.

»» —— ««

“We’ll do it tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“Yes. We’ll put on a double act with you up first, and then I’ll bring you in at the end of mine as a surprise for the ones who stick around.”

“And… how will you do it?”

“A magician never shares his secrets.”

“Even for this?”

“Even for this.”

#DisappearingActFrozen #frozen #frozen fanfiction #helsa #iceburns

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